74. My Birthday Wishes For You

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Hey. Hey. It is Friday. It is time for Friday Bullpen Sessions. My name is Andy Neary. Each week I deconstruct my journey, my struggles through professional baseball to help unpack yours so you can live a life on purpose. I take the lessons I learned in baseball and help you apply them in business and in life. So if you're ready to join me, grab your glove, grab a ball, get ready to take the mound. And get ready, bear down to strike out the limiting beliefs in your life. All right, here we go. Hey, hey. Welcome back to Friday Bullpen Sessions. My name is Andy Neary and this is episode 74. This is going to be a fun episode. Why? Because today is my birthday. Yep. I am celebrating 43 magical years on this planet today. And so we're going to do a little self reflecting. I thought 2020, why not provides such a great year for self reflection. Right. So my goal today is to give you a few of my observations as now a wise old 43 year old and a few words of wisdom to help you where with wherever you're at today. I want to help you end the year on a high. I want to help you end the year with a ton of momentum so you can make 2021 the best year you have ever had. I know there's a lot of uncertainty even going into next year. There's a lot of doubt that next year is going to be any better than it is right now. But I want to do my part and I help you do that. But before we get into that, I want to make a quick invite. If you're an insurance broker, a partner to the insurance industry, a financial advisor, do yourself a favor, get on the complete game Mastermind wait list. It starts the next round starts February 2nd. It's a four month mastermind dedicated to helping insurance brokers, partners in the industry, financial advisors, up level their habits, up level their time management, their tribe, and most importantly, give you the marketing plan you need to make next year the best year you have ever had. By getting on the wait list, you get first access to enrolling. You get access to enroll at a significant discount. So you do not want to miss this out. If you want to get on the wait list, all you got to do is text me the word 2021-241-462-2462. That's 2021 to 414-622-1462 gets you on the waitlist, gets you early access and just a bunch of good coaching goodies. So don't Miss out. Get on there today. All right, let's dive into today's birthday episode.

All right. Yes, today is my birthday. It is hard to believe I'm turning 43. Seems like not that long ago I was that 20, 21 year old young buck, young athlete, getting ready right now to go to spring training, getting ready to try to make another year of of professional baseball. It's how I started my career. And you know what? It has been a long, interesting winding up and down journey to the 43 year old I am today. But I will tell you this.

Sitting here at 43, I feel like I am in the best shape, best.

Mental state, best position to win that I've ever been. And that's why I wanted to use this episode today, today being my birthday, to really share some observations I'm making about the world right now. And you might find yourself in this situation. And I want to share some words of wisdom, right? If you're 43 years old, you feel kind of like you're getting older, right? Good news is I'm only at 43 if you're sitting at 43. Hell, if you're at 50, you're only halfway through, right? Think about it, by the time we get to that stage of our sunset years, we're going to be living to be 90, 100, 100 plus years old. So at 43, the good news is I don't know if I even hit halftime yet, but I do feel like I'm a little wiser.

I've learned to use the last, I don't know, 20 years to really reflect on the mistakes I've made, how I've grown, who I've surrounded myself with, to really feel good right now at age 43, even in a year like 2020, when everything has seemed to go the way we didn't want it to, everything seems to be unexpected. I really feel good right now, so I want to share some thoughts and here's how we're going to do it today for 43. We're going to celebrate the number 43. For the NASCAR fans out there, that's Richie, Richard Petty, right. I think. But let's get back to the reality here. So 43, I'm going to share four observations.

That I am seeing right now in everyday life. If you find yourself in these.

Observations, don't judge yourself, don't get upset, but I am going to ask you to try to make some adjustments between now and the end of the year. And I'm also going to wrap it up by sharing Three words of wisdom for you. Because again, my goal with this episode, my goal with every Friday Bullpen session is to learn, use the lessons I've learned from my life, especially in the world of sports, to help you craft the life, help you craft the business you know you deserve and you know you're capable of. And if you're listening in right now, you might be that young athlete who's 21 years old whose college care is about to end, or you might be that 43 year old business professional who's sitting there going, man, this year sucked. How do I make next year better? And I want to help you out now, based on some of my observations, hell, I might be banned. This might be the last podcast I ever get to do. Because if you haven't noticed lately, social media is controlling a lot of opinions right now. They're controlling a lot of thoughts. And it's getting really interesting. In fact, I just noticed some people that I follow.

Very closely on social media are starting to get, in a way, what do they call that, shadow ban, where their stuff is getting suppressed, almost blacklisted, and all they're doing is trying to help people create a strong mindset. It is absolutely mind blowing what is going on out there right now. So I thought that I'd use that as a great segue to dive into some of the observations I'm making about what is going on right now. And again, this may describe you, and if it does, it's okay. But this is your chance to make adjustments. Number one, let's get into the first observation I'm seeing right now. And that is you're just not showing up as yourself. And it's understandable. Think about this. We live in a time right now where if you say something, you're wrong. If you don't, you're ignorant. You can't be right.

So you best just stay silent. You best just stay in the weeds. You best just mind your own business, right? And I don't disagree with minding your own business, but what this is causing you to do right now is not show up as yourself. Amy and I know people in our life who feel like they have to be different people when they are in front of different people, in front of different friends and family. And it just blows me away. Why would you want to show up as a different version of you depending on who is sitting or standing in front of you? I don't get that.

And too many are showing up as a different version of somebody. They're people pleasing right now. You're not showing up as yourself and that is a really tough place to be in. But I can empathize because I remember being that 25 year old version of myself, new into the business world and I literally just tried to become the people I was hanging around. I just tried to become the people that I admired at that time. Now, there's nothing wrong with modeling, don't get me wrong. But when you truly just start trying to mimic or copy the people that you're hanging around just to please them or just to fit in, that is just a rough place to be. So my first ask of you, based off my first observation is just don't, don't show up based on who you think you're about to hang out with, you're about to talk to, you're about to do business with. Show up as you. The second observation that I'm seeing right now and I'm in, I find it. I find myself in this position and you can probably put yourself in the same boat right now is the feeling of guilt when you feel good. I just shared with you at the beginning of this podcast that at age 43, right now I feel more locked in than I've ever been. Whether it's with my health, my nutrition, my mental awareness, my mental strength, my business, I feel locked in. But right now, in this world, there's this sense of you should feel guilty if you feel good. Really? Since when?

So an ask I'm making of you today is if 2020 has gone pretty well for you, despite what the news says, despite what social media says, despite what your friends and family say, don't feel bad about that. Yes, we want to help those who are not in a good place right now. Those that have struggled, those that have found themselves out of business due to all the restrictions of COVID and the pandemic. But if you are in a good place right now, I'm telling you, I'm giving you permission, don't feel bad. Don't feel bad about that. We need more people like you who are locked in. We need more people like you who are in a good mental state. Because that is how we're going to help this world, this universe, whatever you want to call it, shift into the next phase. Whatever phase we're going into right now, we can all agree we're shifting and we need everybody to come along for the ride. So if you are in a good place, number one, stay there. Number two, feel good about that. That is a good place to be, especially in a year with so Much uncertainty. And number three, play your part to help everybody else get there. I know. I'm trying to do it myself. The third observation.

You are too focused on the outside world right now.

If you want to make it through 2020 alive, if you want to make 2020 a better year, the best year you've ever had, you got to go within, work on your mind.

If you want to look at the people right now who are really thriving through 2020, despite all the chaos, despite all the bullshit, despite all the restrictions, the rules, the pandemic, it's the people who have gone to work on their mind. That's one thing Amy and I are probably more proud of right now than anything else. In fact, we literally just had a conversation a couple days ago.

Because let's face it, guys, with the post elections going on, you know, still going on here in the United States, we could argue it's going to get a little worse before it gets better. Whether it's financially, economically, with new restrictions, new lockdowns. And Amy and I made a promise to each other that we are going to stay as mentally strong as we can be. And that requires us to get up every single day and work on ourselves, mentally work on ourselves within. That's why we pride ourselves so much on our morning routine. Whether it's the reading, the journaling, the breath work, the meditation, the exercise, guys, you have to do the same. Quit focusing on everything else going on out there. An election, riots, restrictions. They can't control your future. Only you can control your future. And you control your future by the choices you make. And I'm asking you right now to make the choice to work on yourself mentally. I truly believe coming out of this pandemic, whenever that happens, there's going to be a new definition of the have and the have nots. For so long, we have used that phrase to define who has money and who doesn't. But coming out of this pandemic, this phase, the shift, the haves are gonna people. The people who are mentally strong. The haves are gonna be the people who have spent this time working on themselves versus sitting there watching the news, getting freaked out, worrying about what everybody else thinks, worrying about what their family, their friends are gonna think about the fact they might do holidays in person.

Work on your mind. The have nots are gonna. The people are gonna be the people who have sat there, who have sat there for the last eight months and done nothing, who have sat there in fear and watched and let everybody else's comments, opinions to say rule their Life. And I know this is very opinionated today, but dang it, this is my 43rd birthday and I am just going to let it fly today. Work on yourself internally right now. That is the third observation. Quit focusing on your outside world. If you want the outside world to change, start from the inside.

All right, now the fourth observation.

There are just way too many snap judgments today. Way too many people who are making quick judgments about another human being based on something as simple as wearing a mask. Now, you know that right there. Just me saying that probably stirred up emotions within, within, inside of you, right? You're saying, well, does Andy believe in masks? Does Andy not believe in masks? I don't know. Maybe I do, maybe I don't.

My point is this. I listen, I watch way too many people right now based on one person's actions, make this snap judgment about that person as a human being. Let me give you an example. I walked into a store in Fort Collins.

Amy and I were doing a little shopping, and there was a woman also in there with her mask on, right? We all had our masks on. And another gentleman walked in the store, and this goes back a few months, and he walked in without a mask.

Now, what this woman who was about to make the snap judgment about him did not know is at the time, he lived in another town here in Colorado, which did not require masks. Larimer county, where we live, required masks. The county he came from did not require masks. So he walks in the store, he's asked to put his mask on.

And he's politely said, sorry, I didn't realize I had to wear one. I didn't bring one. I live in a different county. We don't have to wear masks. So unfortunately, he was asked to leave the store and he obliged. But as he walked out of the store, this woman that we were standing near looked at one of the cashiers and literally called this man, this individual, a horrible human being for not wearing his masks. The other day, I watched two cyclists ride down Harmony Road, the main street here in Fort Collins. And in Colorado. Maybe it is same in your neighborhoods. We have turn lanes which require cars to kind of cut across the bike lane to make that right hand turn. And there was a vehicle. I had my windows open. There was a vehicle driving beside me. I was in the middle lane. This car was in the right lane. And he had to get. He had to turn right. So that required him to change lanes across the bike lane to make that turn. And he did it with at least 50ft of clearance between. He and the two cyclists that were approaching. So he made his turn, he made his move. And I listened, I listened to the two cyclists approach the stop sign and I heard the woman in the back say, man, what a fricking jerk. And I just, it just made me stop like what is going on? So here's my observation. Way too many snap judgments going on today. And I'm going to challenge you if that's you right now. If you're judging other people's actions, you're judging other people's words. Take a look in the mirror.

This is the last observation. I know this is a strong one. But you have to stop judging people before you judge anybody else. Look in the mirror and make sure you are judging your own actions. As Gary Vee always says, judge the judger. So those are the four observations I have today. I know again guys, this is a very, probably a more emotional podcast, but hell, these are emotional times. So number one observation, start showing up as yourself. Quit trying to be a different person for everybody you are in front of. If it's family, if it's friends, if it's business partners, just be you. Just be consistent with that. Number two, if you feel good right now, it's okay. Feel good about it, but help everybody else get to that place. Number three, quit focusing on the outside world. You want to come out of 2020 live. You want to have 2020 be the best year you ever had.

Work on the inside, work on your mind, get strong there and everything else will change for you. And the last thing is quit judging others. Just stay in your own lane, worry about yourself and do not judge others actions. Now.

Those are kind of words of wisdom. I get it. But I'm gonna make three words of wisdom now because I'm 43 today. If I were to sit down with my 21 year old self, if I were to go back 20 years and have that same conversation that I'm having today with my 21 year old self, what would I tell him? This brought me back. Last week I had a chance to sit down and.

Give a little talk to uw, Milwaukee's current athletes. You know, a place in my alma mater where I played baseball and it was such a proud moment for me to be able to sit down, albeit in a virtual setting, and provide some words of wisdom to those athletes. Right? Because a day's going to come, their sport's going to end, there's very few of them will ever get the taste of playing professional sports. So I felt it important to shed my words of wisdom on them and I share them today at age 43 because for too long I didn't live by them. I didn't believe in them. That's why I would love to sit down with my 21 year old self today and have a conversation. Because here's the three words of wisdom I.

Would share with my younger self. And I want you to think about this. I want you to, I want you to use these words of wisdom to propel yourself into a strong finish to the year and again, an unbelievable 2021. No matter what happens, first word of wisdom, be consistent. I'm asking you to be consistent right now. When I go back 20 years ago, I was after quick wins. I was after overnight hacks, I was after silver bullets. I would start a new habit. But if my life didn't absolutely change within a week, I was done. I would sit down every quarter and lay out these amazing goals for myself. But guess what? The quarter would I wouldn't hit those goals. So I would do it all over again. I would start a whole new set of goals for the next quarter. And it was just a dumpster fire of rinse and repeat, of getting nowhere. And I wasn't showing up consistently. Whether it was with exercise, whether it was with my nutrition, my daily habits, my business professionalism, the activities I needed to do to be successful in my career, I just wasn't showing up consistently. I would let myself talk myself out of doing the right things, you know, because I just didn't feel it. Today I take plays off, as they say in sports. And one thing I've learned today, if I can tell you why I feel better than I've ever felt before here at age 43, why I love where my business is, I love where I, my health is at, I love where my relationship with Amy is at. It's being consistent. Are you being consistent today? Make consistency your superpower. Show up every day, take no plays off. Do the small boring things you need to do every day to be super successful. I talk about this all the time. Everybody wants to be LeBron James making the game winning shot in the NBA Finals. Everybody wants to be Aaron Rodgers throwing the touchdown pass in the Super Bowl. But what people don't realize is those guys go through daily Borden boarded boredom, daily monotonous activities that give them that chance to have those highlight reels that we see on tv. So before you focus on having that highlight reel moment, get really good at showing up every day and putting in the work when no one is watching. Because that is where success is found.

Quit trying to reach your goal tomorrow, quit trying to reach your goal next week. Play the long game and then just show up every day consistent. Whether it's as a leader of your organization, whether it's the leader of your family, or whether it's for your friends and family. Show up every day. Show up consistent. Number two.

Be kind.

There's absolutely no reason today to be a dick. And I'm watching far too many people show up. It goes back to my fourth observation, those snap judgments. If there's one rule in life I can pass on to you, that's maybe the simplest rule about life that far too many people don't follow, it's don't be a dick. Be kind. Before anything comes out of your mouth, I want you to ask yourself these two questions. Is it the truth and is it kind? If it's neither one or the other, you don't say it at all. Don't let it come out of your mouth. One thing I love about starting my coaching business is you get to choose who you get to work with. And I have one rule of thumb that if you want to work with me, you can't be a dick. If I meet you and I hear you trash talking other people, I hear you trash talking your colleagues, I hear you saying making snap judgments about others, there is no chance. You can pick, you can hang up the phone right there and then because you and I will never work together.

In business. When you get to pick who you work with, that's the beautiful thing. And I just, I want to spend the rest of my life helping those who are good people. Helping good people do good things. That's what life is all about. So my second word of wisdom, and I would pass this on to my 21 year old self is just be kind. Do not be a dick. I look back at how I would allow myself to get caught up in the gossip of other people. Sometimes my friends and man, it just feels dirty now. So just be kind. So two words of wisdom. Be consistent, be kind. And then the last one I want to pass on to you is just be you. It goes back to that first observation.

When you have the ability to show up every day and you're just the best version of yourself. You're trying to be nobody else. You're just being you. You're just saying what comes from the heart, man. Does life get good? Does life get clear? And does life get easy? Because here's what happens when you just show up as yourself.

You're always Going to attract the right people into your life.

You see, it's when you're trying to be somebody else to please other people is when you start attracting those customers you don't want. You start attracting those friends that after about six or seven months you realize don't have your best interest in mind. But when you show up as the real version of you, the authentic, and I know that's a cliche word, the authenticity version of you.

You really can never say the wrong thing to the right person.

So that's my last word of wisdom for you. It's something I would pass on to my 21 year old self. When I was young, I just wanted to fit in. It's one reason why my pro baseball career lasted as short as it did. I just wanted to fit in. I didn't want to stand out. And I just kept melding myself to the people that I was surrounding myself with. I didn't let my true personality come out. And one of the best things I've learned in the last five years is it's not giving a shit what other people think about you. So that's my last word of wisdom. My last piece of advice is just show up every day as you show up consistent, show up kind and show up as you. If you can do all three of those things every single day, no matter what is going on in the world, in the United States, in your family, I can promise you you're going to have your life locked in. So that's where I want to end today. I'm going to go use the rest of the day to celebrate my birthday because I'm not good at celebrating small wins once in a while. And so I ask you to do the same thing. Just show up today, show up consistently, be kind, be you. And man, go into the weekend with more clarity and confidence than you've ever had. Because if you do this, if you put this plan in place, I promise you will get more momentum between now and the end of the year. You'll end the year on a high despite whatever happens on the outside world. And you're going to make the next year the best year you've ever had. So go out, make it happen. Because you know when clarity and confidence collide, action happens. Make it happen today. Shift your mindset. Hey, thank you for taking the time to listen to this Friday bullpen session. If you are enjoying these episodes, please do me a favor, go over to Apple subscribe, give it a five star rating. And if you know of anybody in your life, whether it's in your family, personal life, your friends, business colleagues that you think would find benefit in listening to these episodes as well. Do me a favor. Please share the bullpen sessions with them. I'd be extremely grateful if you did and again, go out and make it happen today. Thank.

You.