Black & White Truth About Benefit Advising Ep 5: The Most Successful Have Coaches

I can't hear you. I can't.

I can't hear you at all.

As soon as you went into tape mode, it.

There we go. How does that sound?

Bingo.

Hey, let's do this again. Welcome back to the Black and White Truth or Benefit Advising. This is episode five. I am joined by the one and only my man Kareem. Kareem, what's up?

What's up, baby? As we say in Detroit, man, I'm gonna give you a good Detroit greeting whenever you talk with folks from Detroit, man. It is specific to Detroit and it is simply, what up, doe? So, what up, doe? So if you ever watch Jalen and Jacoby, and Jalen will start out the show and he'll say, what up, doe? So Detroit own what up, though? So, Andy, when you come back, the next time you're talking to some advisors in Detroit, you're gonna tell them, they're gonna say, oh, you know somebody from Detroit here. So in my famous greeting from Detroit, what up, though? Andy Nerius, Fantastic to see you, my friend.

So, okay, so if I walk into Detroit, if I'm walking around Detroit and I'm yelling, what up, dog? Are they gonna take me seriously or laugh me out of the city?

Well, first we're gonna get it right. Cause it's not dog, it's doe, like D, O, E. What up?

Oh, what up, doe?

What up, doe?

See how you changed that. Your whole swag came in. Know exactly you're.

Hey, I talked. I told you last week I got a chance to meet the. A true Detroit Tiger, Curtis Granderson. Yes. So we are talking all things Detroit today, but I love it. Sports is a great place to start this off, Kareem, because today we're going to talk about seeking coaches and why you can't just seek coaches when you're in a slump. And here's where we're going to start. Last week, for whatever reason, I was looking up Michael Jordan's sleep stats. Why, I have no idea. But what blew me away, because I did not realize it was he won the scoring title something like 7 out of 9 years. And I'm saying it wasn't even close. Like, when he won the scoring title, he would win by three or four points a game.

Lights out.

He was also the MVP of I don't even know how many MVPs he won regular season MVPs, but he was the MVP in every NBA Finals he ever played in. He went 6 for 6 in the NBA Finals.

6 for 6, baby.

And here's the funny thing. He Had a personal coach the entire time, Tim Grover.

Do you think he just sought Tim Grover when he wasn't doing well?

Hell, no. He said Tim Grover at all points in time because he wanted to be the greatest, and that's why he is.

So let's talk about that. I want you to start. You know, you've been doing a lot of mentoring. I have. For some college students, which I absolutely love. And offline, you shared a story about a girl you're mentoring at Florida A and M. Let's start there. Let's talk about, you know, the purpose of having coaches and mentors in your life isn't to. Isn't to leverage them when you're not doing well. Yes, it helps when you're in a slump, but it's more important to leverage them when things are going well. Talk about this story.

Things are going. So it's interesting when you and I were talking about this episode and thinking about, you know, just talking about coaching, and I think over my career, how many times I went to the next level is simply when I had coaches that were coaching me when I was winning. Now I wasn't going to seek them out because I was losing it. So as I'm sharing this with the young lady that I'm talking to, she's telling me about an opportunity that she has post graduation. And she said to me, she said, Mr. K, you know, she said, I'm so excited. I was very concerned that I would not have an offer after graduation, and I really just wanted to have a job. So part of me sharing with her was really getting her mental towards, no, I'm not just trying to find a job. I'm actually trying to find the career in which I want to pursue. So we want to take off just the any job type of scenario. But in her mind, she's thinking that the end goal is a job. And I'm saying, well, that's not quite it. So she gets this offer from someone that she actually wants to work with. So what was great about it from the last three weeks when we spoke, she was simply looking for a job. Three weeks later, after our conversation, she's actually looking for her career path, and she has an offer from someone in her career path. And so she says, well, Mr. Kate, I think I'm. Well, I'm all set to go in August. You know, I'm excited about this. And I told her, I said, this is fantastic. I'm glad to hear that you have this offer. Tell me about the offer. She walks me through the offer Fantastic offer for a 21, 22 year old coming out of college. She's going to New York City. I think the offer is about 91,000. And I said, you know, what I want you to do is that now that you have this offer, I want you to go secure three more offers. If you can hear the silence on the other end of the line, Andy, she's thinking to herself, like, what do you mean? I just told you from our last conversation, you know, I was looking at any job. Now I'm telling you that I got a specific job in the career path that I want to go after and now you're telling me to go after more. And I said, well, you know, the best time to go after more is when you just had a win. So now that you've won this one, I want you to take that same energy and that confidence. I said, because here's the difference for you now, when you go interview, you're not concerned about getting a job because you already have a job. You've already got that out of your mind. And that little space that's clouding you when you go into an interview because you're wondering, will I get this position? I are they going to like me? You're putting this best foot forward. Now what you're going to do is you're going to play loose. When you go to that next interview, you're going to say, hey, I'm great. I've already got this done. So even if this is for practice, this here. But I said, what I want you to do is to secure three more and now we'll have four. And now we'll leverage one against the other to find out which one is truly the best opportunity for you. Because right now you've only got one deal going. And one deal is, we know in our business, we I did I tell you over the years, countless years of coaching agents, they will always be telling me about this one deal. We were always constantly talking about this one deal. That when this deal comes, that when I finally get this deal going and I'm like, hell, if you're going to wait in this business on the one deal to close, I tell you what they used to tell me, man, he who waits on one deal, they raise skinny kids, man, because they're not eating at home, brother.

Well, think about, and think about this woman you're mentoring. You know, had she got the offer and then said, you know what, Kareem, I'm good. I appreciate the mentoring you've been doing. I don't Think I need help anymore. That advice you gave her right there about how to take that one offer and now leverage it to potentially create an even better offer, she wouldn't have gotten that advice because she thought, you know what? I'm good. I got exactly what I needed. Kareem, I don't need you anymore.

I don't need you anymore. I'm done. Thank you for the little bit of insight that you gave me on the beginning stages, but I've accomplished the goal. And, and I think as you and I were talking about it, when we start thinking about a Michael Jordan who arguably is the greatest, depending upon who you talk in the different areas, and you can argue with the semantics, but the point simply being, if we're six out of six and we're still going and seeing our personal coach and getting personal development on a regular basis to take it to that next level, what does that say about someone in our position that's an advisor, and we're sitting back and saying, oh, but you know what, Andy? You know, hey, I got this one deal. We're back to this one deal. I've got a couple things in the hopper. Ah, I don't need any coaching anymore. I don't need anything at all. And then those will be the same folks that we see later when things are not going well and they want you to coach them from bottom to the top. I want to coach you. We already got something going, man. You know, coaching from the bottom to the top is a much harder situation for us when we think about getting the momentum to go. Anytime we've got momentum going, Andy, there's an opportunity to capitalize on that, man. And so I don't understand the mindset of an advisor that would simply say that, you know what? Because I've got one deal done now, Andy, poo poo, that I don't need coaching these birds. I think I've got it all figured out.

Well, and this comes from. It's interesting. You know, we talked offline recently. I've had a couple conversations with advisors reaching out to me, seeking help. And what's so, so interesting is, is in these two situations, Karim, they scheduled calls with me, but before the time of the time and date of the call arrived, they canceled them. And so I sent them an email and just said, hey, saw that you had to cancel. Do you want to reschedule? And, and what's interesting is in both cases, they said, no, I'm actually good now. I, I, I 1, 1 mentioned that he had just earned a new account, won a new account. So he's good. And the other, the other mentioned that they have a lot of activity in the pipeline right now. So they're good.

That's crazy.

It just made me laugh because I'm like, wait, so you were reaching out because you obviously one, you were seeking a silver bullet.

Yes.

Because whatever you were doing in the moment wasn't working. So you thought you needed help because you were in a slump, but you got one jolt of positive news and you thought you were good.

Un freaking believable. And where else do we operate like that? Any folks that we're looking at, Andy, when we think about winners in life, when we think about winners in life, they all have coaches, whether it be team sport, individual sport, as you and I were talking about, if we were to go through, whether it be Tiger woods working on his swing, whether it be Serena working on her swing. I mean, whatever it is, when we think about these incredible athletes that we simply look at and say, oh, they just kind of got there. Even those that have incredible athleticism have a coach, man. They have a coach. And you look at some of those guys when they are in the slump and we always know what it comes back to. It's never about their skill set. They still have the skill set to do it. But somewhere in between here, this real estate is all jacked up at that point in time. And you're looking at someone who can look inside of your activity to see what's going to offer some suggestions and recommendations because they're not in the fire with you. They're not that close to the action. And when you're close to the action, you miss a lot of things because you don't have someone else giving you some other wisdom and insight that you haven't thought about on your own. And so when we think about this and I'm thinking about an advisor saying, ah, I don't need guess why I still have a business coach. I have a business coach that I talk to because she provides me with value. And part of when we've talked about this before and part of leaping to next levels in my business came because I sought out those folks, but not simply when things were going bad. I sought them out when I thought everything was good. I've got a meeting. I got to mention this. I got a meeting with someone today, this afternoon, and we sat down last week. And she's someone that I definitely have respect for in the LinkedIn world and has done fantastic things with women in sales. And we're sitting down as you were talking to me earlier today, and we're talking about kind of our marketing strategy at Great Lakes, and she's listening to me and she's like, okay, that's great. But she keeps coming back to the question, like, okay, but what's your next. What are you going to do to really, you know, take this thing to the next level? I'm like, well, I'm speaking at these deals. Yeah, Kareem, that's great. But, but how are, how are you going to be in more places than when you physically can be there? Because you cannot run to every place at every time. What are you going to do? And so I told my team this morning, my staff meeting, I said, I already got my ass kicked on Friday. Like, I mean, like, she read my mail and as well as I thought that I was doing, getting all the high fives and all the accolades and everybody saying, you're great, you're great. She sat down and looked at what was going on and said, you got some great things going here, but damn it, if you're trying to go to this level that you told me they're going to, if you want to have this kind of revenue going through the agency, you sure as hell ain't gonna get it doing it this way, man, and kick my ass. And I had to, I had to be vulnerable to the team and say, hey, literally. Yeah, she, she told and it was all true. I couldn't argue with her. I was silent. And you and I know we talk all the time, man. They talk for a damn living. I was silent, man. And so I'm looking forward to this meeting because the coaching is taking place. And when is she coaching me? She's coaching me when I think I'm winning. Right now, my confidence is at an all time high. We got great things going on, great clients, great stories. We're doing some great work, having some impact. But she saw the opportunity and she said, you know what? You're not maximizing or optimizing your true opportunity. And so as you and I were talking about this, I'm like, hey, I'm in the same position, folks. Absolutely same position. I need coaching, brother.

Well, and what I love about what you just said is twofold. One, you have a business coach too. You said she, I, I, I also have a female business coach.

Yes.

And I, you know what I realized? I grew up, I've been surrounded by independent women my whole life. So why not have an independent female as a business coach? Because she knows when to kick my ass when I need it.

Absolutely.

And what you just said, think about.

It and who's great? I mean, whoever's bringing the value. Brother C. He bring the value, man.

Absolutely. Well, and here's the key. That conversation you just had, strategically, you might be doing the right things.

Yes.

What she was referring to is to take it to the next level. Kareem, do you think it's more skill, strategy, or up here?

And she was challenging me right here. I tell you, when she dug in and it started out nice, and here's the analogy she gave me, it was so funny. She said, well, you know, if I'm really going to be a true coach and really be in a position to help you, I'm not going to warn you that there's a Mack truck coming to hit you. I'm not going to move you out the way because then you're going to prepare for it. She said, what I wanted to do was to hit you square in between the eyes in order to get your attention and to see where you were if you were going to be willing to accept what I was sharing with you. And when I saw that you were open to it, I just ran you over because I knew you would be able to take it and do something with it on the back end. And she ran me over, brother.

Well, and I think that's so important because the point of today's topic is whether you're, you know, we focused on the insurance industry. So if you're an advisor, even an agency principal, I don't care what, what role you play in the industry. You need coaching, you need mentors in some way, shape or form. If you can get them inside your own agency, that's awesome. But I will tell you that's few and far between. And it's interesting, Karim, because when I get, when I get advisors and principals reaching out to me for seeking help from, with me, you, they usually come at, come to me from two places. Number one, they're struggling and they, they want to, they want to improve from where they're at or they're in a good spot, they're doing well, they've done well, but they're trying to take it to the next level.

Trying to take it to the next level.

And I will tell you, hands down, the one nine times out of ten, the person who's going to hire me and move forward is the person, person sitting in a, a place where they're good and they want to take it to the next level. Why? Because their mind's in the right set in the right place. The people who are struggling, they don't believe in themselves. Yes, they don't believe they can actually create a better result. Therefore, they may not believe in my coaching or consulting. And so for them to lay down the investment is going to be really hard. But that person who already believes in themselves, him or herself, and they know, but they know they want to strive to be better. They want to take that business to the next level. If they believe in themselves, the odds that they're going to believe that I can help them get there is exponentially greater.

It's exponential because when again, as she was sharing this with me on Friday, I spoke with her some time ago and here's what's interesting about this. This is a great story and oh, I'm glad we're going this route.

Get your pen and paper out right now.

Because she was a client of ours. She was a client of ours 15 years ago. She was the admin for an HR professional at one of our groups. Hadn't talked to her in a number of years. Started seeing the profile on LinkedIn, top 1% LinkedIn, 33,000 followers. And I started looking and she was involved with women in sales. And I started watching this and I'm like, damn, 15 years ago, she was admin. And so here's my first nugget in that man, you've got to be open to wherever the information is coming from. Because I could have looked at that and easily said, hell, you were the admin for somebody when I first met you. But when you're looking at success, it doesn't matter. When she came back and we started talking, what I realized is that she built an incredible business. And what she said to me, she said, kareem, you know what? You can build this fast or slow, and slow is so painful. So if you're looking at some of the other things that you can do, I just want to share some things that I see in your business because I'm talking to sales folks from across different industries on a regular and, and here's some things that I see that they just don't get it right now. Here's the other thing that I'll say she was doing some coaching with someone in the insurance industry and asked that I speak with the other young lady. Just because she said, hey, it's going to be some vernacular that you know. So the other thing that I'll say, the second thing is that not trust other people. First of all, as we talking about never know what information will come to, but the number two thing is simply saying, you know what, you've got to barter some things around. There's opportunities for you to be able to do some things where it doesn't necessarily have to be cash flow exchange. But what we simply said, she said, hey, if you can help this person, this would be fantastic for me. And I said, great, no problem. I mean, a one time deal for 20 minutes, I have a problem with that at all because it's you. Then what she came back and saw was, oh, you know what, now that I've looked at what you're doing, there's some things that I could offer from you, what I'm seeing in my business for you. And I jumped on it, man. And I'm looking at this thing and saying, wow. The thing she shared with me in that short amount of time was again, taking it from where we are, which has been fantastic, but man, taking it to that next level. When I look at those agencies that have grown at a greater pace faster than we have. And basically what she also told me, she said, look, you know what, you can make more money or make more excuses, but you can't do both. You know what I mean? So what are you going to do? And I'm like, well, let's get the excuses out the way, Andy, damn it. Let's get the excuses out the way and let's sit down and figure out what this looks like. But coaching is the key. And being open to coaching, even when you think that you're at the top of your game, that's it. And to your point, what I did with Young Emanuela was say to her, great that you have an offer, but you're going to get several more offers because right now you're on fire. And when we get folks that are on fire ready to go, those are the ones as to your earlier point, that will catch it, that will get it and want to use it and not look at that. They're spending money with you, but they're actually investing money with themselves. And you just happen to be the kind way helping them get there, brother.

So let me ask you this. With your business coach.

Yes.

In the time that you've worked with her, would you say, I know it's, it's part tactics, part mindset. Yes, but where she has helped you take your business to the next level, do you think that's more mindset shifts she's helped you make or is it more the tactical things she's helped you do?

Mindset specifically because you know, we have kind of a saying in our office that I can teach skill set, I can't teach attitude, bro. I mean, you either have a good attitude when you come or you don't. But I can teach skill set. And so what she's done to say, okay, here's your talent, here's your skill set, Some of these things are just your God given talent. This is what you're good at. Things that you worked on to make yourself better. However, to go to that next level, you're going to have to start thinking like people that are playing at that next level. Because what is different about them and you is that they're not looking at their problems and or their solutions in the same way that you're viewing them. And so I had to be open to the fact of saying, wow, okay, as good as it is that I think that I'm doing or as good as I think that I am and what we've done as an agency, when I compare myself to some other agencies and not that I'm comparing for the sake of, oh, I want to be like them, but just simply saying I like to run with winners, man. And when I have respect for winners, if you've come in this business and, and you have won and you're doing a fantastic job, I want to learn from you. Because if I'm not there, there's something else that I need to be doing. Because in the skill set alone, I've got that. I'm going to do the work, I'm going to be diligent about it. But the mindset, what am I listening to, what am I reading, who am I talking to, what rooms am I in? That begins to change my mindset to get me thinking outside the box. And what I still realized when I was talking to her, heard the other day is that, you know, I had some old thinking, man, I had some old archaic thinking. Things that we used to do in this business that got me opportunities and at bat have changed. And these young kids that come in and look at it differently, man, they're like, man, look at this old man. And I told her, I said, you really treated me like I was an old guy. Like, you know, she's like, well, yeah, because if you were talking like things that we were talking about in the business 30 years ago and you hadn't evolved, you were going to do more of what we already know, which was working 30 years ago, but you can't scale that way. And I'm like, damn, okay, yeah.