You Are Not Your Results: 3 Lessons On Success

Hey. Hey. Welcome back to Bullpen Sessions. My name is Andy Neary and this is episode 296. Today I am sharing a special episode. I delivered a keynote talk last week to a group of high school athletes at my alma mater, Oconomowoc High School. And in that talk, I shared three lessons I learned from my baseball career that I apply to business today to have success. And I wanted to share these lessons with you, quite frankly, because I had to learn them the hard way. And I think they'll be really beneficial in this episode. You're going to lear why you need to control how you show up for your prospects and your clients or show up in the office. Number two, we're going to talk about the work you're putting in off the field when no one is watching. You're going to learn why that matters the most. And number three, we're going to talk about results and why you can't be tying your self worth to the results you're creating or lack of results you're creating right now. So it's a really fun episode. Like I said, I had a really fortunate opportunity to speak to local athletes here in Oconomowoc. And it was a unique talk because I had my own family in in the room for the first time. My niece is an incoming sophomore at o'. Connomach. She's an athlete. And so, yeah, I'm going to share the lessons with you. I think they'll be very helpful to your insurance career. So buckle up, let's dive in. I think you're going to really find a lot of value in episode 296. Hey. Hey. Welcome back to today's episode. I am excited today. This is going to be a special little episode. I am going to share some insights that I provided last week in a keynote talk that I gave to high school athletes. The first time I have given a keynote high school athletes, it was a very cool experience. And what I want to share with you is the lessons I shared with them that I have learned as an athlete and how I'm applying those lessons today to have success in business. And trust me, I also have had to use these lessons to learn them the hard way through a lot of failure. But what I thought I would do with today's episode is walk you through the talk I gave last week and the lessons I shared with these young 15 to 18 year old athletes and how I think you can apply the same lessons to your business journey. So last week I got a chance to talk to the athletes at Oconomowoc High School, which is my alma mater. And it was a really cool experience because.

This is the first opportunity I've ever had to talk with a bunch of high school athletes like this and above and beyond talking baseball. But it was really cool to be able to stand in front of a room full of athletes who attend a high school that I attended almost 30 years ago. When I kicked off the talk, letting them know that I graduated from this very high school almost 30 years ago, it really made me feel old. And so it was also a challenging talk because for the first time in my keynoting career, I had family in the audience. My niece is an incoming sophomore athlete, and so she was there listening to her uncle.

Give the keynote talk. You know, and she's at that phase where uncles aren't so cool. And anyways, but yeah, it was a talk. They had asked. The high school had asked me to deliver this talk and to talk about specifically identity and how it's so easy to tie your identity to the sport you're playing or sports you are playing, and how that can actually have a negative impact on, you know, after sports are over, when you don't. You don't know who you are. And so when I delivered the talk, my goal was to share three key insights, and that's what I'm going to share with you today. And I deliver the talk in three chapters. Number one, my life as a high school athlete at Oconomowoc. Chapter two, my life as an athlete at UW Milwaukee. Chapter three, my life as an athlete in professional baseball. And each one of those had failures and lessons. And I'm going to help you apply these lessons to your insurance career. So chapter one, my life as an athlete at Oconomowoc High School. You see, I had a really unique opportunity in high school to play baseball for my dad. So that unique perspective as a coach, as a kid, I think can make high school life.

Different. You know, when you grow up in a small town in Oconomowoc at that time was a fairly small town, everybody knows everybody. And as the coach's son, people will say things, people might even do things, and you can be the target of ridicule, especially when.

You'Re getting the opportunity to play varsity baseball when you're a sophomore. And that's really where this story starts. You know, as this coach's son, I was promoted or sent to the JV team as a freshman. And as a sophomore, I played on the varsity team. And not everybody was pleased with that. And despite what I thought was talent, a lot of people are going to say things to you like, hey, the only reason you're playing varsity as a sophomore is because your dad's the coach, right? And so as a kid, as an impressionable 14 and 15 year old, I really took that to heart. It really impacted me. And I can remember a specific moment going into my sophomore year where this was really devastating. You see, I had been brought up as a freshman to the varsity baseball team for the playoffs purely to provide backup as a pitcher in case we needed it. You know, pitching's important in the playoffs, and if something were to happen, somebody gets hurt, you need pitchers. And so my dad had brought me up as a. As a backup pitcher. I don't believe I ever saw the field during the playoffs, but it was. I was there just in case. And I think that came with a lot of ridicule. People want to know, why would Pat Neary, you know, promote his son as a freshman at the varsity team? He's not ready. He's not talented enough. So going into my sophomore year, the heat was really on. And I remember my sophomore year, we had a high school newspaper called the Cooney Crier. And the newspaper was created to, you know, update students on the news, things we needed to be aware of in the high school. I'm sure you may have gone to a high school with a similar newspaper, but at the same time, we actually had an underground newspaper that was being distributed. I don't remember if people actually knew who was behind it, but this paper was distributed, and it was often. The articles inside were often used to, you know, pointed. With pointed attacks at certain students. Certain people make fun of people. And I remember my dad and I were the center of attention in one of these articles. And it was an article written about my dad and I basically saying, pat, Coach Neary, if you even think about bringing your son up as a sophomore, you should retire. You should quit. He is not talented, he's not good enough, blah, blah, blah, blah. And that devastated me. You know, here I was, a sophomore, and at that time in my life, I was very concerned about what people thought of me. Right? I definitely live life through the opinions of others. And yeah, I just. It really impacted me. Come to find out, a couple months later, I learned that that article was actually written by guys that I considered childhood friends. So it really hit me hard. And I can remember when it happened, all I want to do was like, get out of the spotlight. It felt like this spotlight was on you. And I remember having a conversation with my dad saying, hey, let me play JV baseball again. I don't want to go up to varsity. I don't want to, you know, face this pressure, the spotlight. I just want to play JV again. And he. In that moment, he shared a really important lesson. This was the first insight I shared with the high school athletes last week. And that is, he said, andy, listen, you're my son. People are going to say things because you are the coach's son. People are going to do things. But the only thing you can control is how you show up on the field. You can't control what people say. You can't control what people do, but you can certainly control how you show up. And I need you on the varsity. You're going to be one of our better pitchers, and I need you to show up. I need you to play varsity baseball. And that talk was really impactful for the rest of my high school career, because instead of letting that newspaper article devastate me and continue to impact me in a negative way, I actually used it as a chip on my shoulder. And I know it's easy to argue, Andy, it's not good to go at things with a chip on your shoulder. But I'm here to tell you, as a former athlete, sometimes it's all the motivation you need. And I use that as a chip on my shoulder to go out my sophomore, my junior, my senior seasons and prove that I belong. And I did. And I really look back at that time in my baseball career as a very pivotal moment because it forced me to grow up, and it forced me to really feel like I have something to prove. And I think that helped motivate me to get better every single day. And I remember a quote, a famous quote from Kobe Bryant when he said, booze can't block dunks, and people are going to boo you. And I want to share this lesson with you. People are going to say things about you. People might do things to you in your career, but the one thing you will always have control of is how you show up. So I want you to look at your business today. Are you letting the things people say that people do, whether that's a teammate, a peer, a family member, are you letting the things they might say or do impact how you show up? Because you can't. You have to control how you show up. That is the one thing you will always have control of every single day. Are you showing up prepared for your clients, your prospects? Are you showing up prepared for Your teammates? Are you showing up prepared for your family, despite what anybody might say or do to you? Are you showing up the way you're supposed to? And I use that motivation for those three years I spent on the varsity baseball team to give my chance, myself, a chance to play at the next level. And I can remember where this really, this showing up when it matters the most, really.

Really revealed itself in my senior season. You see, going into my senior season at oconomowoc, I only had one scholarship offer. It was to Winona State up in Minnesota, Division 2 baseball program. And I really thought, you know, going into my final spring season, that that's where I was going. I was going to Winona State. Good program. Let's go. And it's. It's interesting to share this with you because in a day and age today when kids are committing to colleges as freshmen and sophomore, which is ridiculous, I really didn't get any offers. My high school career, and we were embarking on our playoffs, the playoffs, my senior season. And I remember the first game of the playoffs, we were playing Stoughton, Stoughton High School. And I learned that the UW Milwaukee coaching staff was going to be in attendance. Can't remember if they were there to watch me watch somebody else. I honestly don't remember. But I used it as motivation. Control how I show up on the field, right? I use that as an opportunity to grab the spotlight because I have one more opportunity right now to get a Division 1 baseball program's attention. This is it. And I remember looking back at that night as one of the pivotal moments in my baseball career, because that night I threw one of the best games of my life. I threw a one hitter. I remember I gave up a hit to, to the Stoughton batter. On the first pitch of the game was a. Threw it down the middle of the plate just to get ahead. Kid hit it up the middle, base hit. He was the only runner to get on that night. And that night when I got home from the game, about two hours later, I got a call from Jerry Augustine, the head coach at UW Milwaukee, and I was offered a scholarship. So going into that game, three hours previous, I was committed to Division 2 Winona State University. By the time I woke up next, the next morning, I was playing Division 1 baseball. And I look back and that lesson my dad taught me had such a huge impact on my high school baseball career. No matter what anybody says to you, no matter what anybody does to you, you can't control what they will do or Say, but you can control how you show up on the field. And that's the advice I want to give you today. No matter what anybody says to you in your career, no matter what anybody does to you, the thing you have to control every single time is how you show up. Whether that is as an insurance advisor, a parent, a husband, a wife, control how you show up for others.

Now I'm off to UWM for chapter two of my baseball career. I'm now a pitcher at the University of Wisconsin, Milwaukee. Now, my four year journey at UWM was a roller coaster. First two years, all I wanted to do was fit in. I was hanging around the wrong people. I wasn't focused on baseball like I should be. And it reflected itself in my stats. I think my earned run average my sophomore year was almost eight. It was terrible. And when you get to college, especially when you're an athlete, you learn something pretty quickly. Moving from high school to college, you have more free time. And with more free time comes more freedom. And when you have more freedom and less structure, you can make some really bad decisions. And I was not using my time effectively. I wasn't spending the time on the sport of baseball like I should.

And I had what I would call a mediocre first two years at uwm. At best, mediocre. My one highlight is, remember I beat Notre Dame. I started as a freshman and beat Notre Dame at Notre Dame. But other than that, my first two years at UWM weren't very good. And when my sophomore season was done, I almost quit. I almost transferred. Quit. I remember coming home that summer, I didn't play baseball for most of the summer. I took the summer off for the most part, and I didn't know if I was gonna go back. And I remember when I decided to play, pick it up again, I saw my coach. And just seeing him and talking to him gave me the motivation to be like, dude, you gotta get back at it. Let's go. And when we arrived back on campus, we held a team meeting and we were nominating the team captains. And I remember in that meeting, something clicked for me which really got my act in gear for the final two years of my career at uwm. You see, in that meeting, I was one of the two captains named. And it made me realize in that moment that despite the fact I don't have a lot of confidence in my ability right now, my teammates do. And they obviously see something in my leadership to name me a captain.

This moment forced me to grow up again.

And leaving that meeting as one of two captains at the UW for uwm, I told myself, I made a commitment to myself that for the final two years, I was going to do everything I could possibly do to become a better pitcher, a better teammate, a better leader, and I was going to put in all the work in off the field when nobody's watching to become that better player. You know, when, when you're in college and you've got that freedom, it's easy to put friends over film study, put in the parties over the work you need to put in to become a better athlete. But those final two years, I committed to become a better athlete. I skipped the Thursday night going out to the bars. I was in the gym, I was in the field house, working on my craft of pitching, getting better every single day. And my final two years were a lot more successful than the first two. And I really just leaned on this. Put in the work when no one is watching. And that was the second lesson I taught the high school athletes last week, is are you putting in the work when no one is watching? I made them make a list with their phones, make a list of all the things you know you could be doing better when nobody's watching, when, when, when you're off the field that you're not putting in the work to do right now. And I ask you that same question. Are you putting in the work to become a better advisor to get better at your craft, or are you just showing up and winging it because you think you've already made it? You don't need to be prepared. You see, what you do off the field when no one is watching has the biggest impact on how you show up on the field. How you do one thing is how you do everything. And it's the work you put in when nobody is watching that matters. And that is what I'm going to challenge you to do. If you know you need to be better, you need to be creating better results. My first question is, go look at the work you're putting in when no one is watching. Are you doing enough of it? Are you putting in the time to prepare for prospecting, to prepare for client meetings, to prepare for just being a better advisor? Are you investing in your own growth and personal development? Are you putting yourselves around people who are playing the game better than you? Are you investing in the courses and the videos, whatever you need to get better? Or are you just winging it day by day, hoping luck falls in your lap? You see, if you want to get Better results. The number one thing that'll dictate your success is the work you're putting in when nobody is watching. And I applied that concept to my career, my final two years at uwm. And when my senior season came to an end.

It opened the door for one final chapter to present itself in my life and my baseball career.

You know, I've talked about playing professional baseball, but I haven't really shared how I got there. You see, when my senior season ended in the spring of 2000, I sat by my computer for three days as the MLB, the Major League Baseball draft, went through its 50 rounds. That's how many were back then. And I didn't hear my name called. So after the third day was over, I assumed my baseball career was over and I started an internship for a financial institution in downtown Milwaukee. That following Monday I had one semester left to go at uwm. And yeah, I went off and started my summer internship. And I can remember coming home that first night, that Monday night one dreading the fact that I was going to have to do this internship the whole summer. I love to be outside and here I was going to be inside staring out the window at warm summer weather with sun, the beach, all that stuff. But when I got home.

There was a voice message on the machine. This was back when we had machines, voice machines, message machines. And it was my pitching coach Todd Froorth from UWM and said, hey Andy Fro, give me a call as quick as you can. So I picked up the phone, called Fro Worth and he said, hey man, just got off the phone with Harvey Keen Jr. The Brewer Scout and they want to sign you to a free agent contract. You got to give him a call right away. And I just remember like you know exactly where you were when that moment happened. Like the, my, my body went numb.

So I picked, picked up, hung up the phone, picked it up, called Harvey Keen Jr. And sure enough, they wanted to offer me a free agent contract. You see, when major league teams go through the draft in the back half of the draft, they'll typically draft high school kids who will ultimately not sign and go play college baseball. They used to call that the draft and follow. So they would draft a kid knowing he would probably go to college, but they're going to follow him throughout his college career and if he improves, they'll draft him at, in a much higher round when he becomes draft eligible after his third season of college. And so they wanted to sign me for, to a free agent contract. And.

I look back at that moment, you know, thinking about all the work I put in off the field when owners watching my final two years. And here was my chance to truly live out my childhood dream at this moment. And so, on a Monday, I was relegated to data entry at a financial institution in downtown Milwaukee. By that Friday, I'm sitting in a bullpen in Helena, Montana, pitching for the Helena Brewers. So my lesson from the second chapter of my baseball career is the work you put in off the field when nobody is watching is all that matters. And are you putting enough work in? You want to be better? You want more money? You want more sales? Start by looking at the work you're not putting in off the field right now, because that is where success is going to be found.

Now we hit my third and final chapter of my baseball career. And I wish I could share a story of how I overcame the odds and I made it all the way to play at Miller park here in Milwaukee. But I didn't.

But I look back at my pro baseball career and I realize that my entire pro baseball career could be described as living in fear. And it's easy to do when you're a free agent, because when you're a free agent, every day could be your last day. It's easy to let a free agent go because you don't have a lot of money invested in him. And when I look at my pro baseball career, I lived in the fear of comparison, because every day you're getting compared to your teammates. Minor league baseball is unique. Everybody is competing with everybody. You're competing with your teammates to get promoted. Coaches are competing to get promoted. The umpires are competing to get promoted.