9 Signs To Know Where You Stand With A Man!!!

Hey everyone, it's April Mason here, founder of Single No More and the I'm An Asset Movement. And I was sitting in my room a little while ago reading my email, and I get quite a few emails from ladies asking dating questions. Well, this last one I was reading, it prompted me to kind of look at a lot of them that I have received, and I noticed that 75% of them have the same similarities. They have what I call the fantasy and excuse syndrome. Yes, they go to explain in the email exactly, you know, what's going on in the situation, how the man's behaving, and then they turn around and give me the excuses of why. And then they create this fantasy based upon what they believe the relationship is, even though his actions are really showing you what it really is. So I put together my list of list of things that I believe will help you kind of gauge if a man is into you. And this is my personal list, this is what I look for, and currently in my dating life, this is the treatment that I get. So I figure, you know, if it's good for me and I'm okay with it, then hopefully these tips can help you as well. Number 1, he calls you for no reason, like just to check to see how your day is going 'Are you okay?' You know, 'I hadn't talked to you, you know, earlier today, and I'm concerned about you. Everything good?' For no reason, he just wants to call to see how you're doing. And ladies, as you know, most men, they are not phone people. You know, they don't like us to give a lot of words. So if he's calling and taking the initiative to call you, that's a good sign. Don't be the one that's always calling him. Let him, um, call you. It's okay once, you know, he's, he's proven himself that you know, he's interested and he's pursuing you, that's cool. But don't be the one that is initiating. If he's not calling you, that means he's just not that into you either. He seeks your company. He wants to hang out with you. He makes plans to hang out with you. I know for me, when I hear the, well, you know, Earth, Wind Fire is coming to town, or you know that new movie's come out, that's my cue. That's his way of saying I want to hang out. But normally it's, honey, what you doing? The concert. But sometimes, you know, men will throw it out there like that because sometimes they don't want to feel like they're intruding on your time. So they'll throw it out there, and it's okay when they do that for you to catch the bait and say, you know what, I'd love to go to that concert. So we can— it's like a give and take. You can, you can give, give, give some as well too. He makes time for you, and not just in the midnight hour. Y'all know what I'm talking about. That friends with benefits, that booty call, that all that, that I'm not sure where the relationship is going, so I'm just gonna flow with it. And you let him take control and he just turns you into a booty call in the meantime type chick. Yeah, if he's doing that, he's not that interested. I don't care, you know, if how busy he is. Just recently, I know for me, um, he was out of town and had things to do, and I knew he was tired, still had an event that night, flew in But immediately after that event was over, after a 5-hour flight, after teaching a class, immediately as soon as he got in the car, what you doing? You want to go to dinner? It had to be about 9 o'clock, 10, almost 10 o'clock. But the fact is that I was that important to him to make time for me, even though he was— I know he was dog tired after all of that. That's important. It shows you where a man is and where you fit into his life and how much you mean to him. If he's not calling you to make plans with you or always have an excuse, that's not a good look because you are a woman of ass— you're an asset, baby, and you have to treat yourself like one. An asset, the definition of that is something or someone that brings value. If I'm not valuable enough to you for you to make time for me, baby, we don't need to be together. I'm just saying, ladies. I'm just saying. The next one is he takes you around his friends and family. Honey, that is very, very important because a man that's into you, he wants to know how other people may feel that he's close to and that he respects how they feel about you as well too. If he doesn't take you anywhere, because he's not into you like that, it's like you're cool for the— to be the— in the meantime, you're cool for right now. But trust me, he's out there searching for something or some— for someone that he can, um, take around his family and that makes him say, hmm, I need to investigate this. There's something about her that makes me want to see exactly, um, what she offers and what she brings out to the table. I want to get to know her. So he'll bring you around his friends and his family. He listens when you speak. That is so, so, so, so important. That a man listens when you speak. I know, I remember November-ish, December-ish, I said, "Oh, Mint Condition is coming to town on Valentine's Day," and that was it. I never said anything else. Well, I know Valentine's Day was coming around, he hadn't said what we had planned, and I sent an email, a text message that said, "Oh, you know, the Mint Condition concert is sold out," and he texted me back and said— and so I said, "Let's go to Dua Lipa," which was the next day. He texted back and said, "So you want to go to Dua Lipa too?" I didn't catch the "too." So I said, "Okay, well yeah, that, yeah, I want to go to Dua Lipa." Later on that day, after he was finished with work and business, he called and says, "You forgot who you dealing with. Did you think you were not going to the Mid Condition concert?" And I was a little startled. I'm like, "What do you mean?" He said, "You said you wanted to go." He said, "I've had our tickets for a while now." He listened when I spoke. He, he listens when I spoke. So it's very important that a man, um, listens when you speak. It's also— it's great, you know, to have a man in your life that also will play Prince Charming. See, because sometimes— have you ever had the situation where a guy that you were dating and a situation came up in your life? I don't know, something you might need. You had a flat tire, might need a ride or something, but he wouldn't rise to the occasion and say, well, let me go you know, rescue her, that's a good indicator that he's not the one. A man that's really into you, when there's a situation, he always wants to be your Superman. Hello, somebody! He always wants to be the hero in your life. If he's not trying to be the hero in your life, he's really not trying to be in your, in your life. I'm just saying, it is what it is. Next ones are he touches you, and it's not in a sexual way, but he wants to be close to you. He might grab your hand, he might want to hug you. You guys can be walking through the mall, um, you could even be in the car and he'll grab your hand and hold your hand. Walking, you know, in the mall or at the park, and he grabs your fingers and, you know, hold— you know how we like ladies, he kind of, that kind of holds you like this. He wants to be close to you. A man that wants to touch you, like I said, not in a sexual manner. He ain't gonna feeling all on you, but it could be something as simple as putting his arm around your waist to hold you close, or holding your hand in the car while he's driving. That's a good indicator that he's, he's not only into you, but he's attracted to you too. Next one is he supports and is genuinely interested in what you're doing and what you're interested in. This is so important. I know for a woman like me, that is really important because I do a lot. And sometimes, you know, your girlfriends, they cool to tell what you got, go have what you have going on, that's cool. But sometimes the man in your life, you know, you can't wait to tell him what's going on. I know for me, when I get good news, the first thing is, honey, guess what, guess what. As soon as he get good news, guess what happened. So we have that type of, um, relationship where we genuinely support what each other, you know, what we do. And that's really big for me because when I was married, um, my first marriage, um, I didn't have that. It was, she thinks she all that. It was, yeah, that's cool, but I didn't have any support. And what I was doing was for us, it wasn't for me. Or I got the, uh, you deal with the insecure, intimidated kind of guy that doesn't want you to outdo him. And it's like, nobody's trying to outdo anybody. I just doing what, you know, my purpose, and I want you to be a part of it, so support me. That's all. But being able to have that, someone that's genuinely interested in your interest, is so, so, so, um, important because you won't, you won't feel like you have to go seek that, um, somewhere else. Like I said, anything good happens, I'm the first one picking up the phone saying, guess what? But I love, I love that, and And a man that takes interest in that and doesn't just blow it off, he— that's a good indicator that he's, um, into you. Now, these last two I'm getting ready to give you, ladies, these are very, very crucial. These, I could— you can forget all the rest of them and go— and it boils down to these two. Where he spends his weekends. If he doesn't— if he doesn't spend his weekends with you, he's not calling to make plans with you, it's time for you to move on, baby girl. I'm just saying, a man that makes plans for the weekends with you shows that he's genuinely interested in you. Don't let my male friends get me started on it. They say you have the weekday chick and then your weekend chick. The weekend chick is the one that, um, you guys might be dating, but you're taking a genuine interest in her and you guys are getting ready to go toward that courting stage. The weekday girl, she's more of a you like her a little bit, but she's someone you want some companionship. Let's go to dinner or something, you know. But that's not it. You don't make plans with her. So ladies, who are you? Check, check his record. Is he, is he actively seeking your company? Is he actively making plans with you to spend his weekend with you and include you in his life? It's men that are interested in you, he, they include you in their life and And then if you listen to them talk, they start talking about we and us. It's no longer I. Think about it. When he makes plans with his life and where he's going, does he say, you know, we can do this or we can do it that way, or does he say I? And the next one is how he spends his holidays. It doesn't even matter if it's Memorial Day, Labor Day. Do he include you? And his holidays. Those are so important. If you are not going with him to the family barbecue, the picnic, you know, the, um, what do you call it, New Year's Eve bash and all that— if he's not taking you anywhere, baby girl, I'm sorry. I'm your sister that just want to keep it 100 with you. Then you might like him and he might give you those, those few moments that, that's like, he text me or he called me, but it's not on a consistent basis. He's not that into you, and you are just the in the meantime. And I promise you, when he meets that one, you'll never hear from him again. You know, you might text him and he might say, you know, okay, thanks, you know, thanks for reaching out, or, you know, God bless you, or whatever, but it's not going to be anything meaningful because he's just not that that into you, and no matter how much you try to prove, sell yourself on why you are of value, he just doesn't see it for whatever reason. But it's okay, because God has somebody out there that will see the value, and you won't have to sell them on you. Because if you have to sell someone on you, you always have to sell them on why they should keep you. Well, I'm not on the market, baby. Mm-mm. If I got to sell you on Miss Mason, I'm sorry. If you don't see my fabulousness That's your problem, not mine. And actually, it's good for me because you wouldn't be able to give me what I needed anyway. And baby, that poses an issue. We don't want to— we don't have time for issues. We are assets, and an asset is something or someone of value. If you are going to say that you are an asset, I'm going to need you to raise your value on the inside. It starts on the inside first. View yourself the way God views you. If you are— say that you are a king's daughter. A king's daughter does not bow down to low self-esteem, no value, and no self-worth. A king's daughter never chases men, but all of the suitors always come to her because of her value. Are you an asset? Think about it, ladies. Don't let past situations and past issues or your, your need to want to be loved and not be lonely anymore, um, cause you to become a desperate woman even though you would never intended to be that. Every man that you meet will not be the one. Just because you haven't gone on a quality date in a while and one quality day just happens to come around, that— don't try to hold on to him. Check, check it out, date him. Which is I call collecting data on him, and, and go be cool with it. Don't do all of the extras. Mirror what he does. If he's not calling you, if he's not checking on you, he doesn't have any general interest in what you're doing, just mirror what he does. That's a perfect indicator of where you are. And if you don't like it, don't be upset and try to change him. Change you and remove yourself from the situation. I've always been that way. If a man was not giving me what I needed, I didn't fuss and argue and argue with him. I just helped him along and I removed myself from the situation. So he never had to worry about me, and nor did I have to worry about me not getting what I felt like I needed or be tugging. I wish he would just please just see me for who I am and know I'm a good woman for him and and all— no, baby, we don't do that. We don't do that. If he cannot see your value, he doesn't need to be with you. A man that wants to be with you, there is nothing anybody can do, anybody can say, um, any, uh, his busy work schedule that will stop him from being with you, because he— that means he sees you as value. So don't worry about it. Just make sure you hold yourself up to the standard of how you want someone to treat you. When I started to gain self-esteem and I got out of my slump, I started attracting men that valued me. No, they all weren't, um, my husband, or it's someone that I was, you know, spend my life with or date for a long period of time. But the fact that when I switched over who I believe myself to be and start valuing myself is when the men that I started to attract, it changed. You know, I hear people say, well, you can't, you can't, um, determine the type of people that will approach you. Yeah, you can. Every now and again you might get a few jokers, but even with them, they're still going to come in a respectful manner. You might find out down the line, you know, that they are full of foolishness because you can only keep up the facade for so long, but they're initial engagement to you, and as far as getting to know you or approaching you, is not, hey boo, hey baby, hey, shout out, how you doing, you know, you know, I want to holla at you for a minute, or hey, hey, hey, you know, you know that one right there, girl, girl, you won't get that anymore. So it all starts, um, it all starts with you, how you value you. Matter of fact, if you get a moment, go check out my other video, is, are you, is your low self-esteem Attracting Mr. or Ms. Wrong. Check it out. So back in the house to get my work done, but I had to stop for a moment and, uh, do this video because these emails, ladies, we got to do better. There is somebody out there for you, I promise you. God will give you the desires of your hearts. Don't pay attention to this, uh, society and their stats, and for every one man there's 15 women. You know what? God created it all, and he could If God placed it in your heart to be married, he will give you your boo. If God placed it in your heart to start that business— you know, I'm always talking about having a business and a boo and being an asset— you can have all of that. It's all about your belief system and how you view yourself. Let go of the past. Let go of the past hurts, pains. I told y'all, y'all know my story. I didn't told all my business. I walked in on my ex having sex with another woman. I found porno videos that he made. You know, with other chicks in the past. I, I've, um, dealt with the domestic violence to where you wouldn't recognize the left side of my face. I've dealt with the molestation, the rape, and all that. So if for me I should hate men and I should be a bitter old woman somewhere sitting, sitting around somewhere, but I'm not. I love, I love me some brothers. No matter what I've gone through, I can't take that with me. I can't put that on somebody else. I can't. So you have to let go, let God heal you, because it says in the scriptures, he mends the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Let God bind up your wounds. Once your wounds start to be bound up, your self-esteem starts to grow. You start to become an asset. You realize, I do deserve the best, and I am a king's daughter. So hope that blessed you today. Sister gotta go back in here. I'm working from home today. Gotta go back here and get some work done. Um, I'm April Mason and I'm out.