April Mason & Carl Thomas: Legally Married or Lawfully Married?

Hey, it's April Mason here coming to you once again. I know you saw that other video earlier today with me and Mr. Johans Miles. Y'all love him on, um, oh my God, the name of the show, because they canceled it and we were all mad because we didn't know why they canceled it. And because we don't know why he didn't get with Rondale. But y'all ladies love Mr. Johans Miles, so y'all been trying to ask me questions about him, but he'll be back, he'll be back. But tonight I have somebody special here with me tonight. When I say special, y'all know I've had a lot of guests on, um, in the past, but this one in particular, he has a place near and dear to my heart because not only is he like— not only to say he ain't closer than family, but I know if I need anything, I could pick up the phone. I can be like, somebody bothering me, and he'd be about, what we about to do, you know, how we about to handle this, you know. And He's in town and has been in town to serenade Atlanta with Valentine's Day love. But guess what? He came down to April Mason headquarters so we could chit-chat with you all tonight. So y'all want to know who it is? Who y'all think it is? Tell me, tell me who y'all think it is. If you know who it is, maybe a couple of you might know who it is because I mentioned it inside the app. If you have not downloaded the app, baby, you don't get the exclusive stuff first. So go to All Things Feminine to download the app. So let me make sure I can see your comments because I don't I see them. I see your hearts, but you could keep giving the hearts. Oh, you guys are giving stars already. Thank you so much. I ain't even said nothing. Oh, somebody said Joe. Somebody said Carl Thomas. Somebody said— who is— y'all know why I can't see? Hold on. Y'all know somebody said— oh, everybody, everybody thinks it's CT. I don't know why everybody— y'all must be in Atlanta because guess what? It is CT. Come on over here.

Hey, how you doing?

Good, darling. Good, good, good. So y'all guessed it, y'all guessed it, y'all guessed it, y'all guessed it. So we're going to be talking about some love stuff tonight. Oh, and by the way, if you did not see my video yesterday, y'all see what I did with my backdrop? So y'all know we have a photo booth business, and I said we, we've not finished decorating in here, but we need something to make pretty in the back. So look, don't y'all think that's pretty? So how you doing, darling?

Man, I am blessed. I'm blessed. I'm doing well. Um, I ended up, you know, having to work here, uh, this week, uh, because I came here to do a concert on Sunday and end up getting stranded in Atlanta. So, um, you know, I had to switch my work week to the ATL.

Yes.

Which has really worked out well because I was able to come here and see you.

Yes. See, this is what you do when you have good friends that will support you. He came down to see what I had going on. You like it?

Yeah, this is really incredible. You know, this is really incredible. It's a lot of forward thinking.

Forward thinking.

Yeah, it's a lot of forward thinking. I'm looking forward to, you know, seeing where you're going to be with this in about a year.

Yeah, because my lease is 3 years, so you might as well. So I got to carry this thing on out, honey. I got to carry it on out. Yeah. So we wanted to talk about relationships and things that, you know, I know that you've noticed, things that I've noticed, and where actually we think relationships are actually going. You know, are we progressing or are we going back, you know, backwards, or are we going nowhere, you know?

Well, you know, relationships is kind of like food. Okay, kind of like, um, music, um, you know, as far as no one can really tell you how to do it. There's no set rules. Yeah, um, you know, there, there's ideology, and after that you usually left up to your own vices. Yeah, yeah. So, so there's a lot of different opinions, there's a lot of different opinions about it, but there is only one actuality. You know, there's only one actuality about it. And I know that earlier you and I were talking about the institution of marriage.

Yeah, ooh, child. We had this, we were talking about prenups. Yeah, we were talking about prenups. And the institution of marriage. And I asked him, you know, 'cause y'all get on me all the time when I say I would never remarry for love alone. And yes, a brother gotta sign a prenup. And it's just what it is. All that, we love each other and, you know, we feel warm and fuzzy today, but what happens when we don't feel that way tomorrow? And it's not like divorce does not happen. So what do you feel about when it comes to marrying strictly for love, or should it be more than love?

Well, first and foremost, you know, we need to go back to the beginning, okay? And, um, go back to how it started. I know a lot of people think it started with the Bible, you know.

It didn't say they was married.

I know a lot of people thinks that, you know, the concept of marriage started with the Bible, or, or the Bible, as a lot of people say, you know what I mean. And I definitely do not want to disrespect the Bible, you know what I'm saying. No, but, but, uh, um, contrary to, uh, a lot of people's beliefs, marriage was a business. Uh, it started out as a business opportunity, and it was designed for two extremely rich, prominent families to join together and become one big super rich family. Um, as a matter of fact, in the beginning of the concept of marriage, uh, if you were considered to be a nobleman or a pauper, as they would say, yeah, if you, if you were considered to be, you know, you know, part of the lower society. Basically, if you were poor, yeah, if you were poor, you weren't allowed to marry. And that is the real beginning, uh, of that institution. Now, down through the years, um, you know, there's been a lot of spin on the ball, uh, as far as, you know, the government being involved in that institution.

They gonna get their money, they gonna get a piece of it.

Yeah. And as for me, as for me I've always had a problem with marriage being portrayed as such a spiritual thing. And, you know, and how it crossed the bridge from being a business move to something that God or something very sacred that, you know, I totally get it.

I totally get it.

And the one part of it that never really made sense to me was the actual license, the license to marry.

So you know where it came from, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'll be telling them.

Well, well, well, and I— and don't get me wrong, because I do believe that marriage can be all of those spiritual things. Yes, I believe that it can achieve all of those spiritual levels, uh, but that was not it. That was not its intent. A lot— what a lot of people don't realize is that when you sign a marriage license, you do not have an agreement with your significant other. You do not have an agreement with your significant other. Basically, you and your significant other are signing an agreement with the state. So basically, when you marry, you take on a second set— or a third set, rather— a third set of parents, which is the federal government, because they tell you what you can and cannot do, what you are allowed and allowed— you are not allowed to do. Uh, but there is something, uh, that is growing that I'm paying attention to, um, and, and that is the process of not being legally married but being lawfully married. And the process of being—

I know, I know you're not talking about shacking.

Oh no, no, no, no, not that, not the 7-year rule. Now we're not talking about the 7-year rule, uh, but what I am talking about, uh, is the method of being lawfully married, in which, uh, two people who love each other and want to share their lives, and you know, they love each other enough to go into business together, because that is what you're saying when you want to marry someone. I love you enough to be your business partner. That's what you're saying. So if in fact you want to do that, there is a lawful way as opposed as opposed to the legal way of doing it. And the lawful way of doing it would be two people, two people having their, uh, respective attorneys, and you come together and you would literally write out a contract. And the contract states what you expect, need, and want from this union.

I like that.

He writes out what he expects, what he needs, and he wants from the union. All right, yeah, you both exchange this, slide that paper, right? You go through it with your lawyer, you literally mark it up, and you know, you present it again, and you basically go back and forth until it is agreed upon, right? So until both—

a negotiation.

It is a negotiation, yes. And when it is agreed upon, it's signed by both people.

Yeah.

It is stamped by a notary public, and then it is filed with the county clerk's office, and you are lawfully married. Lawfully married. Yeah. Yeah. And you get all the wonderful tax breaks, and you get everything that everybody with the third set of parents get.

You know what I mean?

You get everything that they get. You get everything they get, you know. Yeah.

And if you want to have your wedding, you still can do all of that. But guess what?

Because you're legally married and that lawfully married.

And that paperwork is right. Yeah, that paperwork is right. So, yeah, you know, we had that discussion. I'm like, okay, yeah, I thought I was the only one. Because people, they, they put so much on marriage that they don't understand it's more to it than I like you, I love you. For me, y'all know I've always said that, said this: what that last name do? I trademarked that, by the way. I tried— the trademark is in on it.

What that last name, that last name do? Please break that down to me. What are you talking about?

What the last name do is this: people get married because they like each other and they feel warm and fuzzy, right? But what they're not doing is paying attention to if that person is going to be an asset to their lives and to the lineage of their family. And the last name carries some weight. Back in the day, like I was telling you last night, back in the day, women would say, oh, I'm the wife, I'm the proud wife of Robert Johnson. I'm the proud wife of Bradley whoever, you know.

So when you say what that name do, you're speaking of weight and prestige.

Exactly.

Okay.

But not just those things.

Okay.

He could actually be a man that has no prestige, but he has strong character, strong integrity.

Well, that's the weight part.

Yeah, he has all of that. Because there was a guy back when I was younger, Carl, and he wanted to marry me when we were young. Everybody thought in church we was gonna get married. We got older. I would run into him now and then back in the back. But here's the thing. Anytime anybody mentioned his name, 'cause it was two men that I dated at that time that had the same name from junior high, high school. We had this triangle love thing going on, right? So everybody thought I was gonna marry that particular guy.

Okay.

Here's the thing. Anytime, even as adults, his name was mentioned, it's always, "Oh, that joker." It's always that. I'm like, you can't be associated, especially somebody like me who has a bubbly personality. My name ain't garbage in the streets, and you say that's your husband and everybody be like, oh damn.

So for me, did he mess the other guy's name up as well?

No, he— no, he didn't. One, it was just that they had the same name. So when they would say, who you going out, this E or that E? And when I would say, oh, I'm going out with this, oh good, because this one, oh God. And he wasn't a bad dude, he just had his behavior was bad and how the community and everybody saw him was not in the best light.

But in other words, he was just simply Black.

There it is.

Okay.

And so for me, it was always, what that last name do? You can't have me out here looking crazy. And at the same time, when you look at women back in the day, they were proud of the last name that they took. Are you proud of the last name that you're taking if you're choosing to take that person's last name. You're taking on their reputation and everything else.

Well, you know, April, it takes 20 years to know anybody.

I don't even think you know them after that.

To really know a person, it takes 20 years. Most people, you know, you got to kind of be okay with that.

Well, you know, my best friend has been married 20-some-odd years, over 20 years, and he tells me all the time, he said, hey, I learn new stuff about my wife every week. I'd be like, How is it that I've been with you 25 years and I didn't know that about you?

But isn't that a cool thing?

Yeah.

I consider that one of the cool things. I mean, you know, I think the reason why that always changes is that a lot of people don't realize that the them of the future is a present stranger to them. Mm. And you have to be okay with that. The me of, you know, the me of 10 years from now, I don't know that man. Yeah, I don't know that man. I don't know what he's going to think, feel, say. I don't know what he's gonna do.

I know what he gonna do. You know, I know what he gonna do.

What's he gonna do?

He gonna be sitting on the couch like this, looking at them young kids like you do. I call him old man, y'all. He gonna sit down and be like, hey, hey, young boy, come on, come on, come on, let me sit down, let me tell you something about this Did you know that the government— that's gonna be you, that's gonna be you. I tell him all the time, you know, you sound like somebody granddaddy.

Oh man, you know, I just, I, I make, I, I, yeah, sometimes I can't come off a lot older than I really am, but really I'm a big kid at heart, man. And April knows.

Yes, I, yeah, I do.

Ask her.

Oh wait a minute, no, don't you do it, don't you do it, don't you do it.

I got to do it.

Don't you do it.

I got to do it. Ask her, ask her about that Mortal Kombat whooping.

He is the only man—

Mortal Kombat whooping that she received. Hello, hello.

He's the only man that has ever been able to beat me in Mortal Kombat. But guess what? I'm coming back to the house and I'm gonna practice. I'm gonna practice and I'm coming back to the house and we're gonna see, because I beat his nephew. Everybody I play, I played— the nephew was in the house anyway and I won.

But anyway, you cheated.

You didn't let me even get out the corner.

No, No one ever beats me.

Just give me one time. He the only man— I will, I, I, I will say that he's been the only man that can beat me at Mortal Kombat. Any other man has never been able, because he don't let you get out the corner. It's before they say start, he already pushing buttons. So, and you—

yeah, I mean, I'm, I'm no quitter.

Okay, all right, we're gonna do this again, but, uh But, uh, when it—

but when it definitely comes to prenups, um, I think there's a— there's a fear, you know, that's really, uh, you know, imaginary.

I think so.

Yeah, it's really imaginary when it comes to prenups. Um, I think if you love someone— I think if you love someone enough, then you also have to love the possibilities as well as accept the possibilities as well.

Yeah, I agree. Because, you know, people will say if they have to sign a prenup, you're going into it thinking it's going to fail. No, because to me, to me, a prenup can be as simple as if we go our separate ways, you take what you had, I take what I had, and we split what we should— what we built together. It's— it— to me, it doesn't have to be that.

And that's a one-pager.

Couple of lines. It's not, it's not that difficult, but I think it's the more the mental part of it, of a person, of a person thinking, yeah, in case it fails. So you're marrying me, it's almost like a personal blow to a person. Like, because, you know, I've seen quite a few men that I know give women prenups before marriage, and the women take it as a personal blow that you just don't trust me enough, you think I do you like that. Well, we've seen marriages fail. It's not—

well, it's not, it's really not that. I think, I think it's that possibilities and trusting someone, you know, they have, you know, neither one of them have anything to do with each other. You know, you love someone, you could love someone, but you may only be designed to be with that person for 2 years.

Oh my God, say that again. Say that again.

But you may love someone, but you may only be designed designed to be with that person for a certain amount of time.

And somebody said that, uh, somebody said then stay single. Okay, well, they can stay single, but we're not gonna act like divorce doesn't happen, you know.

And all you stay single people out there, I just want to remind you, no one respects a clean uniform. All right, just remember that. I know, I know that don't want to be bothered a lot of times. And a lot of times they can just seem like too much game to be involved with and just, you know, not streamlined enough for you. That's what I hear from a lot of women nowadays, that relationships nowadays are just not streamlined enough. You know, be straight up with me, be straight up, you know, be straight up, just tell me what it is, tell me what it is, you know. Um, and that's a, that's a real really big problem. You know, but at the same time, you know, my mother is twice divorced, but you know what she told me? She told me, I'm gonna die knowing what it feels like to be loved and to be in love. And there's a lot of people that won't have a chance to say that. When I really thought about what she said, you know, she wasn't regretful Yeah, and I expected to hear regret in her voice, but I didn't. And that really encouraged me, you know, better to have loved and lost than not to love at all, since you have never loved at all. And that's just the way I look at it.

And I think it goes back to what you said a minute ago, because I've shared this with my audience as well, that sometimes— and well, a lot of times— we try to make seasonal people lifetime right. And I talk about my divorce all the time and where I was mentally. He should have never got anything but a hello from me, but because of where I was in my life, he was the representation of the, of what the subconscious mind knew.

Yeah.

Yeah, you know, so I was attracted to what, what was programmed, but as I started to grow as a woman, I'm like, that's— this is not future. This is not someone that I would even want to take to the grocery store. What was I thinking?

Well, right, the beautiful thing about life is that it, it is designed to move in perpetual motion. So the more of life that you see and experience, the more of it you are naturally supposed to want for yourself. You know what I mean? So, and this, and this equates or supposed to equate to a better you.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yes. And then the wonderful thing about it is once you get to a particular place in your life where you, you've accepted you, and at that point you welcome someone in, you probably have a better chance of being together until the day you die. Because at that point you've taken the time to evolve, evolve into a, a better version of yourself because you let go of your mama's stuff that she gave you, your daddy's stuff he gave you, the bad relationships or whatever you chose from an unwise place. So now you've taken the time to really get to know you and what you want. And when you realize it's like, I don't really want that much, all the other stuff that you had, you have on your list, it— once you start to get to know you and give you the stuff that you're looking for in other people, right, the list starts dwindling down and it becomes, I want a companionship, somebody that we can add our happiness together. And then whatever we blossomed out of that, that's what we do. But a lot of times folks get married, like, I want to make seasonal people lifetimers. No, that girl was only supposed to get you to a particular place, and she opened you up.

Well, yeah, and, and that's a, that's a very good point that you made. Um, you know, seasonal people—

thank y'all for sharing.

Uh, seasonal people, you know, that you're trying to make lifers, as you said. You know, nobody told you to marry them. Nobody tell you to do that. Nobody tell you to go do that. You went and did that because the church told you.

Glo, you know, you know what, they did that because they didn't want to fornicate. They didn't want to fornicate on Saturday. It could be— they could use— they could use— you know, you know, you know, you're not a vegetarian at the altar, you know. So you get married, and once again, that's still for wrong reasons, right?

Right, right. Or maybe the right reasons, if that's all you're interested—

if that's all you're interested in.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, maybe they're— maybe they're just two people that just want to have sex.

There you go. Without being damned to hell for having it.

Damned to hell. Here we go with the hell again. Damn to hell.

Damn to hell, April. He keep me rolling.

I'm the hell.

Y'all don't understand how much of a clown he is.

Sounds like a Charlton Heston line. No, no, I'm serious.

I'm serious. Damn the hell. He pulled out his gun.

The very first Planet of the Apes. I was a little kid watching the very first Planet of the Apes, and I saw Charlton Heston looking at the Statue of Liberty that had been beached. He said, damn you, damn you all to hell.

I promise y'all, you— this is— this right here, this right here is who this man is. Um, uh, I was— he had me laughing so hard last night at the restaurant. Yeah, I thought that the people were gonna put us out because we was, we was loud.

Uh, well, yeah, yeah, I, yeah, I was, I was extremely— I, I don't know, I would— after that, after that third glass of wine.

Yeah, you—

yeah, yeah, all bets are off. All bets are off. Y'all ever want me to get loose with you, if you ever want me to get loose with you, you buy me a bottle of Kim Crawford and, and, and I come with batteries and instructions, man.

I'm sitting around looking like, is they gonna put us out? Is it gonna put us out here tonight? But that— but that's the wonderful thing about being able to be happy, being able to just be in it, be in who you are, right? And just enjoy life, enjoy life. So that, that was good. Another thing we talked about, um, was— it was— oh God, it just left my brain. It's something else that we talked about when in regards to relationships. Oh, the masculine and the feminine.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

What are your thoughts on it?

That's fun. Well, I mean, I just think that that's a, you know, it's a universal law that everybody has to follow. You know, no matter what type of situation you're in. Yes.

You know what's funny is, and I say this all the time and women get upset with me about it, but my gay friends— I have the dopest gay friends, right? But they embrace the feminine way more than a woman does because they understand it. They literally— my makeup artist and stylist, they will literally sit there and be like, girl, look, I don't know what y'all women be talking about all you got to do is do this, this, this, and this. And everything that they're saying is everything I teach about femininity, right? But women will fight you tooth and nail, whereas my gay friends is like, girl, I be learning Miss April, and it be— your ish be working, your ish be working. I'm like, how is it that my gay friends can be okay with embracing the feminine aspect? Because men have feminine energy too, some has more than the other. Women have masculine energy too, some has more than the other, but ultimately women has more feminine energy and men have more of the masculine. But it's so hard for women to really wrap their mind around being a more of a feminine flow.

Being— why do you think, why do you think that, that women have a hard time doing that?

Because I think they believe it's weak. I think they believe that it is something that allow— you know what, I think they believe it's only for men, and it's not.

Well, I'll tell you this, um, I definitely don't claim to be an expert in that area, but I will say that, uh, there are 50 laws that govern the universe, and out of those 50 laws, there are 14 principal laws. One of those 14 principal laws is called the Law of Gender. And it simply states that one person has to occupy the masculine and the feminine, and one person has to occupy the feminine. It's very yin and yang, you know. So I mean, whatever situation you are, gay, straight, lesbian, trans, whatever it is, someone has to fill these particular roles.

Yes.

Because if you look at the symbolism of it, the yin and the yang make one circle. You know what I mean?

Yeah.

You put them together, they make one circle. So, um, you really can't get away with having two people in a relationship that both, uh, service the masculine energy, or, or having two people in a relationship that both service the feminine energy.

Yeah.

Uh, that's pretty much out of order, you know.

Yeah.

Uh, but, you know, to each his own. And, you know, some of that, uh, some of that dysfunctional Nonsense might work for some people, you know what I mean?

I mean, you know, yeah, it might, but the thing is, so we see most of the time that it doesn't work. And so ladies, being in the feminine energy has nothing to do with the— even though Miss April loves the color pink, it has nothing to do with the color pink. It has nothing to do with it's for a man. It's for you first. And if a man has the pleasure of getting access to it, But who are we to tell someone that they can't ride on a burning train? We can tell them that.

You have every right in the world.

You can ride on it.

Hold on.

But here's the thing. If you're going to ride on it, do not complain.

But just know that the train is on fire.

It's on fire.

Just know that the train is on fire. Definitely.

So don't ask for no water. Don't ask for no fire extinguisher. Just know the train is on fire. And you didn't have to get on the train, but that's what you chose to do.

Yeah. I've seen relationships where, uh, you know, there are two people trying to service one side of the energy, and, uh, you know, it's usually, it's usually kind of sad and tragic. Yeah, usually when you watch how it turns out. Um, but for the most part, you know, human beings are instinctive, and we just kind of fall in our instinctive lines. Like, like, like two people can meet and two people can meet and automatically know this person complements my masculine, or this person— yes, yes, you know what I mean?

Because you just be like, when you're around a masculine man— I ain't gonna lie— when you're around a masculine man, you'd be like, you need—

you hungry?

You'd be like— but you just, you just acquiesce.

You know, like, uh, we were— what we were talking, uh, before the— before we went live. Yeah. And I was talking about the difference, uh, and, and for those of you out there who are, you know, lovers of jazz music, I'm a huge fan of, uh, Miss Shirley Horn.

Oh yeah, that was—

yeah, Shirley Horn, that was beautiful. Um, sang well into her 90s, you know, and, you know, just, just an anomaly in music, uh, but in my life I've always listened to Shirley Horn lyrics and I've always listened to lyrics, uh, by Janet Jackson. Janet Jackson and Shirley Horn are the only two females that have this in common, is to where they made their entire careers off macking a man, you know what I mean, and absolutely subduing the masculine energy, and, and they became the Kryptonite. They made the masculine energy bow down to them. Yes, they may bow down, y'all see, but they made— but, but they made the masculine energy bow down to them. And I wouldn't say bow down, but they made surrender. They made the masculine energy surrender. Surrender itself. And, uh, and I— and it's so crazy is that my son, you know, I'm always trying to pass him music. You know, it's one of the greatest gifts I could give him besides any books that I read or any, any lectures that I pay attention to or what have you. I give him music. I passed the music that was passed down to me on to him.

Yeah.

And I remember the very first day that I played "Istante" for him. And the word "istante" in Italian just simply means "summer." Or if someone uses the word "istante," they mean to say that you make them feel like summer. You know what I mean?

You be like forever.

So the very first time that I gave him "Istante," he listened to the lyrics And he got very quiet and he went in a, uh, he went in the corner and I didn't see him for a couple of hours.

Okay.

Later on he comes into my room and throws a curveball I didn't expect. He comes into my room and says, Dad, why don't I hear people talking to each other like this? And then, how can I get a woman to talk to me like this?

Wait a minute. I keep I keep telling them, I keep telling you, I be trying to told you, I've been trying to told you, but no, y'all want to buck the system, y'all want to buck the system.

My son's 21 years old.

So how old was he when you gave him that?

20 years old. Okay, wow, he was 20 years old and he, he wanted it. He was completely smitten, you know what I mean, in the, in the very sense of the word smitten. Uh, how Why have I never met a woman that speaks of a man in this manner? Why can't I have a woman that talks to me like this?

And that's coming from the baby.

From the baby.

So it doesn't matter if he's 20 or if he's 90.

I mean, think about this. You bathe me in the glow.

Hold on.

Right? I mean, you think about it.

Get these lyrics.

These are Shirley Horn lyrics, and I don't have to look them up. Oh, see, you know what I mean? These are Shirley Horn lyrics. You bathe me in the glow of your caresses. You turn my— my timid nose into eager yeses.

You know what I mean?

Like, yes, these are— this is just, you know what I mean? Yes, because when I was looking at them lyrics, but it's something that is both cerebral and visceral. Yes, something that you can think about, but yet also something that you can feel. Turn it down, you know what I mean?

Y'all ladies, these lyrics, I— when I tell you, I was like, she talking that talk, baby. Where's the button that goes— click one of them buttons, right?

You know that, right? Okay, right, right.

When I tell y'all She says, you bathe me in the glow of your caresses. You've turned my eager no to tender yeses. You sweep away my sorrow with your sigh. Oh girl, oh how the golden sunlight bends the willow. Your blossoms send me the perfume to my— send the perfume to my pillow. Oh, who could know you half as well as I? Oh, she know him, y'all. She didn't got to know her man.

She said, who could know me?

Who could know you?

Who could know you half as well as I.

You know, you know what that means? You know what that means? It goes back to what I've taught you. She studied her man. You can't know him like that.

But obviously, for him to make her feel like astante, he studied her as well.

Absolutely.

Yeah, yeah.

So yeah, yeah, y'all have to go, y'all have to go look that up. Yeah, somebody— oh, they writing the lyrics, they write the lyrics, they write the lyrics. So these are the things, what he's I'm sharing with you, these are the, the, just the simple things when it comes to just being a woman. It's not about even trying to do, because women are taught to keep doing instead of just being. Because when you are in the company of a masculine man, just like the— she makes the masculine surrender, the masculine makes the feminine surrender, right, as well. And so that's why I always teach, there's— you don't have to worry about if somebody's going to submit to you because if you are in your right energy, it just naturally— there's a natural surrendering that happens.

And it's important to also add that people know when your point of view or your ideology is coming from tradition, and they know, they know the difference whether it's coming from tradition and whether it's coming from an authentic place. Um, you know, there's a lot of people who, who just naturally have that radar. Um, I, I speak, you know, the conversations that I have with women, um, unfortunately a lot of those conversations are based in tradition. You know, and, and, and it takes a while for me to sweep that away and ask her, well, how do you really feel?

Because she's going by all of the things that the magazines tell her she should be looking for, so she's checking off the, the traditional things off the list.

And I will, and I will admit, you know, you definitely got your traditional checkbox, you know, you got it all taken care of, and that's a good thing. It's not a bad thing, uh, but it's also just as important as you embrace what you've been taught. It's also just as important to reach out and learn and not be afraid.

Yes. Now the thing is, everybody— we talked about this before— everybody wants what they think is the alpha man, right? And we talked about the sigma man. Yeah, give us— give the ladies that were like, what's the sigma man? And so now that you're here, give them a breakdown.

Mind you, uh, mind you, I personally think that the concept, you know, of the alpha male, the beta male, and the sigma male is complete bullshit.

I know you do. I know you do.

But it is entertaining. It is very entertaining. But if in fact I did, you know, buy into that, I would be someone who would be classified as a sigma male.

Okay.

And the sigma males, they, they, have a lot of the same characteristics as alpha males, but they don't care about ruling over others. Sigma male doesn't care about, uh, having the feeling of dominance, you know what I mean? Uh, the sigma man, you know, like, I, I have no desire to dominate a woman. I feel like men who dominate women stop the growth of what they're really supposed to become.

Mm-hmm.

Um, and, and I feel like women who think in traditional manners, they sometimes unknowingly, uh, and mind you with good intentions, they, um, kind of stunt the growth of of, you know, the level that their mate is supposed to reach.

Yeah.

You know, a lot of times, you know, case in point, my father started a barbecue business and he created this really signature barbecue sauce and my mother just out of the fear of stepping outside of tradition, didn't want to step out on that log because the log was just out there floating by itself and it wasn't very balanced and there was a chance of falling into the water. And she didn't follow my father, and long story short, um, he ended up separating from the business and the business blew up and they took his sauce with them and we were still left in the projects, um, you know. And, uh, you know, it was a teachable moment.

Yeah, a big one.

Yeah, it was a teachable moment. So, but it also taught me a lot that, you know, sometimes you have to abandon, uh, you have to abandon tradition and, you know, follow the heart of a trailblazer because those are the individuals, uh, who decide our collective fate. Uh, there's no one in any point of leadership that hasn't taken a chance, you know, that hasn't, uh, rolled that dice. So, you know, when you, when you, uh, feel like, you know, you love someone enough to go into business with them, that's part of loving them enough to go into business with them, is loving them enough to just jump out there on that floating log that's really not stabilized and you know the risks and you're still jumping anyway.

Yeah. Now, if— because I have a lot of fellas that watch, you know, I was laughing and smiling reading the comments that the ladies was saying. They were like, you talking to they soul and all of that stuff. All this that you talk, we know Carl Thomas was this.

Wow. I'm really blind and can't see the comments.

I keep putting my glasses on. They know I wear my glasses, but they have some wonderful things to say. So I have a lot of fellas in here.

Yeah.

What would you tell a man, not, not a male, not just a male, but a man who is looking at this stage in his life and he says, you know what, I'm ready to settle down. I've done my, I got my play out of me. I've done everything that I wanted to do in regards to women. And I'm at a particular place in my life, you know, financially, I'm pretty cool. I'm not wanting for anything. Only thing missing in my life is that woman. What would be 3 things you would tell that man?

As far as choosing a particular woman, uh, I would definitely say, uh, don't be afraid to be imperfect. Don't be afraid. It's all right. You know what I mean? Look at you. Don't be afraid to be imperfect. Um, that, that's a big, that's a big, uh, issue when guys reach a certain age. They feel like, you know, oh, I've reached this point in my life. I'm supposed to have everything. Mm-hmm. And everything isn't everything until you know it's everything. Mm. You know what I'm saying? I would also tell him, I would also tell him, don't be afraid of laying it all on the line, even if it's ugly. You know, because the ugly truth is still the truth nonetheless. It's still the truth. You know what I mean? Even though it may be ugly, you know. You know, my dad, it's funny, he used to say, son, you gotta stop lying to all these women. You gotta stop lying. You gotta stop lying. He said, you gotta stop lying. He said, if you don't stop lying, you're never gonna find one that just simply understands your story.

Because you keep giving her the fake.

Yeah, you keep giving her the, you know, I call it the fake and shake.

The fake and shake.

I call it the fake and shake.

Yeah.

You know, so that's something that I had to learn over time, you know. Everybody can't know where the body's buried.

Uh, yeah, yeah, I don't think, I don't think, I don't think she was going to know.

Right, right, right, right, right. Take some time, know that.

But yeah, I wouldn't want to know what the third thing—

but the third thing that I would have to tell you is always try to end the day with a laugh, even if you've disagreed the whole entire day. Go to bed on a giggle. Go to bed on a giggle, you know. Look at each other and make sure that you can laugh at something. I mean, I know it sounds simple, but it's really important, you know. Laugh, try to laugh once a day, once a day, at least once a day. Laugh together. You'll thank me later, I'm telling you.

Now, if you had daughters, because I know you have nieces, but if you had daughters, what are 3 things you would tell them about choosing their mate if they're at that mature stage.

Don't let them drive you to the pole. I'd also— no, I'm not with you. I'm not.

Don't let him drive you to the pole.

Lord, I would definitely, I would definitely say, um, if I had it, if I had to tell her anything, never run from your Phoenix. Never run from your Phoenix. And a woman, the Phoenix inside of a woman is something that she is constantly running from. Yeah, yeah, constantly running from. But you have to embrace that. You have to embrace that Phoenix, that fire, that, that, that I call it that forever fire, you know what I mean? That, that, that dark place that you don't know so well because you haven't visited it that much, because you haven't visited there that much because it's dark. Mhm.

And you're actually afraid to see what's up under in there.

But, but you have to embrace the dark points of you just as much as you embrace the light. Mhm. And the second thing that I would tell her is Being accountable for your actions simply just makes you a better person. And when it comes to men, men, we have a problem with being responsible.

Mhm.

Women have a problem with being accountable for their actions. How do you know women have a problem with being accountable for their actions? Because the deeper you get into the line of questioning, trust me, she gonna have a boomerang for your ass and she gonna swing it back around to being your fault. It's gonna be your fault. She gonna swing it back around to being your fault. Yeah, this is a problem with accountability. But if men could just simply say, look, all right, you're right, you're right, I have a problem with being responsible, I, I know it, I'm going to work on it. If women could just say, all right, all right, all right, all right, I did it, I did it, I don't be mad. I did it.

Not the penny. Yeah, not the penny.

But if women— but I'm just saying, if women could just, you know, be okay with that. And I think that a lot— that accountability problem comes from that air of perfection that women are programmed to think that they have to have. You don't got to be perfect. I'm not looking for perfect. I'm just looking for perfect for me.

Okay, with that said, I'm sure, because the women been asking. So what is perfect for Carl? Because they was at— is you married? Is you single? Is you divorced?

Perfect for me, perfect for me is someone who allows me to be the Gemini that I am. You definitely the Gemini. Allows me to be the Gemini that I am. Perfect for me is someone who understands the kid who was born in the projects, born in public housing. Someone who understands the spirit man, someone who understands the pimp, someone who understands the gangster, someone who understands the international man of mystery who goes out and fights crime all over the world, terrorism and things of that nature. You understand me? Exactly. But I'm all of these things, you know what I mean? I'm all these things. When I was a kid, I had, uh, I was very seduced by vernacular. You know what I mean? So watching pimps on the avenue and watching preachers in church, I was very fascinated because they acted so much alike. And a lot of times you really couldn't tell them apart. The only thing you can tell is that one was talking from, you know, the Bible and the other one was talking from the Bible from the block. It's the Bible of the block. You know what I'm saying? And, you know, they wore a lot of the same clothes and they drove a lot of the same cars and had a lot of the same rings on their fingers and things like that.

On the pinky finger.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you know, and so, you know, when you get older, you know, you kind of— I guess that's how I learned the difference between using my powers for good or evil.

Yeah.

You know what I mean? I guess you would say the preacher is supposed to use their powers for good. And, you know, the pimp uses the art of mind control. And if you look at— well, if you look at the definition of witchcraft, it is the art of mind control. Um, that's how you know that the dark energies go into, go into, you know, doing that and what have you. And so, and, and also this, this alpha male concept, a lot of men have to careful with that because in the name of being an alpha male, you feel that you have to have a certain dominance or control in your relationship. But what you don't know is that a lot of that, a lot of that, uh, it leans toward mind control. And whenever you flirting with that, just you got to understand that you're flirting with dark energies, you know. And, and, you know, and it's the same thing for women, um, if you want to manipulate him to the point— who's that? Who was What's that comedian, uh, uh, that said— yeah, Chris Rock. Chris Rock said, men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies. Wait a minute, men lie the most. Absolutely, men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies. You know, men lie, you know, about where he was. Women lie about whose baby it is.

You know, we know nothing. We know nothing. We know nothing. But you, like you said, we've been taking accountability. Yeah, but we know nothing.

But you know what, um, you know, I'm just a different type of dude. Um, I've had the experience on both sides, you know, and I've, I've had a chance to—

you—

the empathy in me had to grow. It had to be grown, you know, because I was a mercenary and a loner, so I never had a point of reference. I didn't really have that many points of reference, you know.

Okay.

Me being such a mercenary and doing so much on my own, you know, um, I was, you know, I've played women and I've been played.

You've played women?

No, I mean, but what I'm saying is, what I'm saying is, I, I, I heard, you know, I saw a meme on social media the other day, uh, that was saying, you know, how differently men treated when things that happen to women happen to them, and men just treat it totally different. It's like, nah, they know I've been cheated on before. I forgave her. It wasn't that big of an issue.

It didn't play on your mental. Why? Well, that's typical.

Why? It didn't play on my mental at all. I mean, hey, whatever, you know. I mean, honestly, if we're— if I, you know, women may hate me for saying this, but Um, you know, if we're not married, that don't belong to me.

You heard it out of here.

If we not married, that's ours.

Are you—

oh, not mine, that's ours.

I am not with you. This is the Carl I know.

That's ours.

And this is mine. That's ours.

Yeah, I mean, um, but, um, um, you know, I just kind of handled things in a different manner, you know. And not to say that, you know, I did not allow my emotions to play, to play into it and whatnot, but, but whenever I was cheated on, the first thing I always thought about was, you know, not what was going up inside of her, but the first thing I always thought about is the many times I did her Really?

So you couldn't even get mad because you—

Well, I couldn't get mad, but I could get hurt.

Was you in the corner like this? Was you in the fetal position?

She done broke my heart. No, I don't think I've ever been in the fetal position before. You know what I mean? I don't think it's ever been that bad, but it's been pretty bad though. I will definitely tell you. It's been, you know, yeah, you know, uh, uh, and, and for those of you that are watching this, understand the true meaning of the word karma. Karma does not mean that you reap what you sow, okay? The word karma means the life you create in the simplest form.

They say that's a Gemini for you. Oh my goodness, what else y'all saying in here? They talk, they talking some talk in here.

I see, I see.

Are you going to say, you know what I heard? Yeah, you know something that I recently heard?

What's that?

That you said, that you sang, it was the first minute of it and it was an arrangement that you did.

Okay, what song was that?

I got it right here.

How would you, how, how would You just knowing this, Paul, you just gonna have it.

I just have it right here. Okay, can you turn that down, sir?

Handy.

You know I'm handy.

I mean, she has it handy.

You know I be multitasking. But it was an arrangement that you did, I think it's maybe a year ago, but I never heard this arrangement. And I was like, did he just do us like that? What it did, I'm gonna show you what it did. I'm gonna show you what it did. Hold on, let me put it right here. I put it right here.

You are something with those glasses hanging off your face like that, I'm telling you.

Don't have me do it. Don't have me do it to you.

No, that's the Miss Cra—

Damn, what? In your face. Okay, it was this right here. It was this. Listen, see this one, this version right here.

You hear that?

This, this the version that had you sing— wait, is it all the way up? Hold on, I'm going to show you what I have you doing. This the version that had you going like this on the, uh, what You watched the movie Five Heartbeats when she was sitting in the chair and she was squirming? When I heard it, I was like, "Ooh!" That! I've never heard you do that before. I said, "Look at you!" Yes!

What I did, what I was doing was a performance for Sirius Satellite Radio. Shout out to Dionne Daisy. But that is a version that I do live on stage in my concert.

Did you do it Saturday?

And I had a— absolutely. Yeah, yeah, Sunday actually. But yeah, I definitely did it. And, you know, it's something that I kind of made, you know, as a prequel to I Wish, you know, that, that right there, that give you the 5 heartbeats.

The girl sitting in the seat.

Oh yeah, I was like, yeah, you know, I've actually— I, I actually seen that happen before, um, uh, when I was younger, uh, at a New Edition concert. I actually seen— I actually seen Ralph Tresvant, uh, make a girl literally faint and bust her head. That's not funny. That ain't funny. That ain't funny.

You laughing for a call.

But I actually seen a girl bust her head on the chair behind her, um, you know, being, being personally serenaded by Ralph Tresvant. And you know, when after I saw that, I knew it was real. I knew it could happen. It wasn't just TV no more. I seen it.

So have that ever happened to you? Have you, have you, have you ever done that?

Um, I never got any panties thrown at me that I didn't throw back, you know, because that— you ain't gonna disrespect me like that, you know what I mean?

I'm not—

you're not gonna disrespect me like that, throw your underwear up there. Yeah, yeah.

No, what's the craziest thing a fan has ever done?

Uh, the craziest thing that a fan has ever done was, uh, scale a hotel wall to get inside of my window. And the hotel and the, the floor— I was staying on the 10th floor. Myself and Mario Winans right across the hall. I believe we were in Sweden. I believe we were in Sweden at the time, or Ireland. Ireland. We were in Dublin, in Dublin, Ireland. And a girl, we literally ended up having to call, you know, the cops for them to come and get this dummy off the ledge, you know, before she fell and killed herself. Now I gotta get— I gotta give her credit. Like, you got up there, you deserve something, you know. When I think about it in hindsight, I should I should have hit her off a little something, you know what I mean? Just for crawling that, you know what I mean? Just for her completing that task, you know what I'm saying?

I should have left her a little something. Well, Mr. Thomas, what do you think she wanted?

Well, I mean, crawling through a window, crawling through a window, I can tell you what she didn't want. She didn't want to have lunch.

She didn't want no room service.

Tell you that much. She didn't want any room service. She didn't want any room service, you know what I mean? Woo! I think she want— I think she wanted the OG pound cake.

Not the pound, the pound cake.

I mean, that's, that's, that's what I'd like to call that, the OG.

And he ain't been drink— have you been drinking?

Not yet.

He ain't been drinking yet.

Not yet. I haven't had one glass of wine. Those of you that know me, I don't drink liquor, I drink wine.

I am what is considered a wine Oh, you know, I'm not even gonna lie, I've never seen so many glasses, bottles of wine before until I visited you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was like, who—

it's just you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. I'm like, who go check out— if you ever get a chance, go to the Catalina Wine Mixer, uh, in California. It happens every summer. Uh, it's a really great place. There's a lot of, a lot of great acts perform, and you know, you get a chance to learn a lot about wine. And, um, you know, it's the, the properties of wine, uh, if you want to get into the wine business, um, if you want to know which wine just simply works for you, you know what I mean? So it's a good place to go hang out and you can meet some people with great ideas. And, you know, every time I go, uh, a lot of— I meet a lot of business, a lot of great business contacts that I end up, um, you know, forming some type of alliance with and ultimately making money. So, uh, because I don't, uh, subscribe to the cigar lifestyle, um, I really don't like my breath being that hot all the time.

A man with— a man with smoke breath.

I mean, I'm saying— I'm saying now, now, mind you, with that being said, you got to understand that all— you know, the cigar lifestyle is a very money-driven lifestyle, uh, because most of those conversations are about some form of commerce, you know.

So very true.

But I, but, but, you know, I have a problem with being that close to the smell, so I had to, you know, kind of get involved in that, you know, in a different way.

So, okay, you know, so, um, someone asked, is the— is the song— well, this was— it scrolled up, but are the songs— are you like the songs that you sing?

Um, uh, the songs that I sing are all different points of me at different times. Now, mind you, there are a lot of songs that are me as well, but you've never heard those songs because you don't know that side of me. Um, I've written songs that would better be suited for porn, uh, than to be suited for rhythm and blues.

That, that, oh no, not that, not the little, and he come, and he come in with the, um, with the pizza at the door. He don't have on no, he don't have on no drugs.

She is only here to clean the apartment. Yes, the porn star try to be real actress. She's only here to clean the apartment.

Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Pizza Delivery Guy, I do not have any money to give you a tip, but what I do have, I can tip you this way.

No. But I write, uh, but one of the things that I'm writing, one part of me that I am letting out is, uh, I'm a big dog lover, and anybody that knows me knows that I'm a big dog lover. I have two standard horse-like poodles by the name of Jeff and Eden, brothers and sisters, you know what I'm saying? But, but, but, uh, I'm doing a 5-song EP and the songs are all about the relationship between people and their dogs. So I'm just, you know, just taking music and marrying it with something else that I love, and that's dogs, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Hollywood, Hollywood is taking advantage of that relationship to the tune of about, you know, $10 billion, and I can't, you know, understand why music has never, uh, ventured there, you know what I mean? Music has never tried to, you know, cross that barrier. But, you know, I'm not afraid, April.

I know you're not afraid. I'm not afraid. I know you're not afraid. You're like Mighty Mouse.

Yeah, I'm not afraid. Yeah, I'm not afraid.

You're not afraid? Absolutely not.

Absolutely not.

Yeah. So you have a lot, um, well, you have a— well, we won't talk about it now, but you do have something, a new single coming out soon.

Yeah.

And I, um, it's actually—

when I heard it, I was like Yeah, yeah, the single is called Happy Hour. It's called Happy Hour, but I want you guys to also look out for my brother Darnell Jones. Yeah, um, Darnell just, uh, he's about to— he's actually just released a single called Karma, and we just shot the video last weekend in Chicago. And, uh, we're about to do— actually about to do a remix video for it, uh, uh, with myself, RL, and Dave Hollister. And Jacquees. Okay, yeah.

So you know what that video you was doing, and I saw you with— I was, I was picking with him, y'all. I was watching the video of the, you know, shooting the video, and I was like, I said, look at him, he walking, got his little butt.

She's never gonna let me—

I'm not gonna let— I'm not gonna— I'm never gonna let that go. You're walking, he walking, he walking there, and action.

Is that what I did?

I was rolling.

I can't help it. I can't help it.

Oh, he turns on.

But the single is called Karma, so look out for it. You know, it's a Donnell Jones single, and it is the first of a slew of singles that we are all grouping up and putting out together. And we've decided to just simply, you know, since— I mean, we've always been the best of friends. Um, so we just decided to add equity to each other's careers.

Hey Joe, I see my best friend in here. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. So the thing is, I want to ask you— well, they wanted to ask you, I keep seeing it in here. I don't think he want to sing for y'all tonight.

No, I've been pretty much singing.

He's been singing.

And so I pretty much been singing all week. And, um, I would, uh— and April doesn't really know this, but Um, I'm actually coming back here to her facility to do a performance, you know what I mean? So, so I'm literally going to— I know, I know, I'm actually coming back here to do a performance, but the only way that you can see that performance is through the app. So you can only see it—

I have the dopest, I have the dopest friends. I have no idea.

You can only see that in the app. So, um, if If you are a part of the All Things Feminine movement, of the All Things Feminine—

let them have it!

If you are a part of the All Things Feminine app, uh, then definitely you will see that private performance. And, uh, we're gonna try to fill up the room with as many ladies as we can. And I'm gonna— I'll bring the flowers and you bring the wine.

I got you.

There you go. There you go.

I got you. See, see, see, see?

So if y'all want to be a part of that, if y'all want to be a part of that, please, you know what I mean, uh, uh, please leave it in the app what songs that you would like to hear me perform, okay? And then that will be the song, those will be the songs that I perform.

And you know what my favorite song is?

Which one?

You should know, you're supposed to know.

Well, I still want, you know, you can't act like I know for them, you got to tell them.

No, I'm asking you, I ain't asking them.

Oh, okay. Okay, I would— it would have to be "Submarine." No!

Oh no, you want to— okay, come on my phone, I'm gonna show you. I'm gonna play my favorite song. They don't— okay, you're not gonna give me no copyright.

No, no, no, I promise you, you're good.

Okay, this is— this is— this is my favorite song of yours. Okay. And it's one that, uh, now watch her come with the album cut.

Why'd you come with the album cover?

Oh, it says this song is not available on my region. No, hold on.

I just thought you should know.

Be quiet. Don't, don't do that. Don't, don't do that.

Okay, okay.

This is my favorite song by you, and I can listen to this one all day, every day.

Ah, yes, yes, yes.

This is it. This is it for me.

Yeah, yeah. That record, that record was actually, um, written by Gordon Chambers.

Really?

Yeah, written by Gordon Chambers, who was a very close brother of mine, uh, in Brooklyn. And Gordon, you know, Gordon also wrote I Apologize for Anita Baker. Uh, he, uh, I, I heard it through the grapevine for Brownstone. Um, A Rose Is Just a Rose, I think he wrote A Rose Is Still a Rose, or Franklin. Um, so, you know, he's definitely, you know, put his work in.

Okay, well, you did it justice because it's time to—

well, no, well, no, I actually made Gordon give me that record, you know what I mean? Because there was, you know, he demoed the record, but he couldn't sing it like me.

No, can't nobody sing it like me.

Well, he couldn't.

Well, can't nobody. That you can't.

Yeah, but man, I want I want to thank everybody. Thank you guys for having me. Thank you guys for having me.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

It really meant a lot, you know, to come here. I'm watching April's lives all the time, and for me to finally have an opportunity to be on the other side of the camera, you know what I mean, it's really big for me. So, um, you know, you guys, um, you know, we joke around a lot, but I really like how serious that you are um, about what you're doing. And I wish you all the success in the world. And I just want you to remember that money follows purpose. And I want all of y'all to remember that money follows purpose. Blessings follow purpose. So know what you're doing it for.

Let them have it, Bishop. Go ahead, Bishop. Now it's time to pass the offering plate. Thank y'all so much for joining us. I hope you enjoyed it. It was very impromptu. It ain't no formal— this is just what we do.

Yeah.

Um, like, some of them trying to read and everything. No, this is how we get down when we get together. Bottom line, we talk about— even last night we was watching cartoons at the restaurant, talking about our favorite, uh, absolutely favorite cartoons and the onesies that I like to wear.

Absolutely.

And even our favorite—

April allows me to talk about politics, conspiracy theories, She doesn't call me weird. You know, it's a great thing.

Now we just sit back and I let him talk and I listen. See, I would be the lady with the crossword puzzle. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's what that— what did the government do that for? Real, man. They don't even know what's going on with my crossword puzzle. I love y'all. Thank you guys so much for tuning in. Um, and thank you, Mr. Thomas. Yes, ma'am, for joining me.

All right.

All right.

Yeah.

Bye, y'all.