April Mason: Singles Conference Part 2

Fun. Have some fun. Go out. Do some things that you like to do. Love your flaws. And ladies, I know we always talk about we want to lose weight. Embrace your body. This is who you are at the moment. Love everything about you. The things that we trip on as far as how we look, how many times I tell you, they're not tripping on that stuff. That's us doing that. And they're looking like, what are you talking about? I like those extra four rolls that you have. I like them up the top. So why are you trying to— so we tripping out on things that we should not be tripping out on. I'm just saying. My mother told me, I remember, I was going through my divorce, and I'm 5'3", but I've always been a smaller woman, but I got depressed and I got up to a size 16. And so I was like, "Oh, Mom, I gotta get all this." She said, "Girl, men like a little mush." I was like, "I don't want the mush." I don't want the mush. I don't want the mush. Learn how to be soft. Be soft in your answers. Think before you speak. A wise woman does what? No, she builds her house.

She builds her house.

I know Dr. Gumbo, I know they teach you this in here. What a wise woman does, she doesn't just— she's not so quick to speak. And I was hurt. I would mess up so much stuff with my mouth. It was like, I done had to bring him close to it about 4 or 5 times. But that mouth! But what did I do? I went and got wise counsel about it. Because one of the things that I did, I said I needed to know what it meant to be a wise woman. We think we We think because we get saved and love God and all of this stuff that we automatically become virtuous women. We don't. Just like a woman— girl grows up to be a woman, not every woman grows up to be a lady. That's something that has to be taught. Just like being a Proverbs 31 woman has to be taught. Have an expectation. Expect good things. Stop expecting every man or every woman to do you wrong. When you expect that, that's what you get. It's like we're believers that have a hard time believing the positive things. If God says it, why can't we believe it? Every man won't dog you out. I had to get past every man is not going to cheat on you. After all that I went through, I had to renew the mind. That's why renewing the mind is so important. You need to hit that reset button. Everything you think you know, you don't. So if you're not getting the results that you want and you're doing your own thing, that means there's a flaw in your system. So you need to check your system. Never say, "I'm going to go with the flow." Just say— when you go out and you say, "You know, I'm just going to— whatever happens, happens." No! You get random. You have to be laser-targeted and say, "God, I believe you're going to bless me with a wife. I'm going to position myself. I'm going to do what I need to do to get to where I need to go. So now when I meet that one or they're presented to me, I can identify him or her." Because God doesn't make choices for us. He'll present it. You have to make the choice. But if you're not making wise choices, you can't blame it on God. Never say, "I'm not expecting anything." Yes, you are. You are expecting God to really do it. I teach my students that there's nothing wrong with going out to lunch. There's nothing wrong going to a movie. Dating is nothing more than collecting data. It doesn't mean that you're getting married. And in our society, they put dating and sexual intercourse together. That's not what that is. It's collecting data. I need to know if you crazy. You need to know if I'm crazy. It's nothing more than collecting data. Dating shouldn't feel like a chore. Going out shouldn't feel like a chore. I hear women all the time, I just want to get to the happy part. Well, you got to go through the process of elimination. You can't just say, I want to be blissfully over here, but yet you don't want to go out. You just want him to show up. Last time I checked, Jesus wasn't delivering men via UPS. Unless he is the UPS guy. Have a good time. Go out. How many people in here actually go out by themselves? I go to dinner by myself. I go to the movies by myself. How many people go on vacations by themselves? How many people go like all in a pack? All a pack of women? Let me share a little something on the side with you ladies. When you go out in a pack, that's really intimidating to some men because you gotta figure, you got 4 women, 5, 6 women here, all these eyes on this one right here. And then what happens if he chooses you but your girl's looking at him too? That's too much extra stuff. I'm just saying. Go out by yourself and enjoy, enjoy, uh, your life. Get out of the my type syndrome. You never know who God is going to bring you. We all have an idea of what we like. Well, my tall, dark, handsome always dog me out, so maybe it was time to kind of open up a little bit. Stop— don't get caught up in, uh, caught up in that. Don't turn away good guys just because they may not necessarily look the way you think they Ain't nobody gonna look like Denzel or Idris. Ain't everybody not gonna be that way. Get out of your comfort zone. Go places alone. Limit girlfriend's night out. Limit fella's night, because I have some friends that all they do is complain about there's no good women, but all they do is hang out and watch the game together. You gotta get out. Get out and go do something. Make time for love. Position your life to receive it. Even though you may not have anybody in your life right now, act like you do. You can't get to a place if you do not— if you can't connect with it. I hear people say all the time, I want to be a millionaire. Well, who— what millionaires do you know? Well, you need to connect with what you want. Get up in the morning, get dressed, make breakfast, slow down. If you got to get up an hour early, Think about it. If I was married and I had to make sure he got up to eat, I would have to get up 5 hours early. Start positioning everything about you for what you want. When you want a great career, what do you do? You go to college. When you want to be a preacher, what do you do? Most of us go to seminary. Why do we neglect that part of our life? Because we think we know. And we think we already got it because we're human beings and this is just a part of life. No, these areas have to be cultivated. Position your schedule so you have some free time. The 5 categories men immediately put women in are the wife, the in the meantime, the eye candy, and the sex buddy. Which one will you be? You know where you stand. You know where you stand. Action show, everything. Make sure you're healed. If you've been through a divorce, make sure that you heal, get healed first. Before you step out of that. Ladies, purpose is so important. How many people in here have a business or want to start a business or have the desire, or you know you want one but you don't know how to go about it? OK, here. I'm going to give you this, right here, that raised your hand. This is What's in Your Hand: How to Turn Your God-Given Gifts and Abilities into Wealth. God has something for everybody. We all have a gift and ability that God gave us. If you are broke, it's because you're not using your God-given ability. If you don't have enough zeros in your bank account before the decimal, it's because you're not tapping into your God-given abilities. How many people have gone through some traumas and broken and all of that, and the molestation and stuff that I talked about? Here, I'm going to give you my book. This is my story of how I got over that. So I'm going to be a blessing to you today.

Amen.

Amen. And how many women in here, or people really want to know how to position yourself to be fat? I'll give my DVD to you in the back because you waved all your hands. I know you don't want me to know how to embrace your femininity, but I'm sure there's some things that you can take away from this, from how to boost your self-esteem and confidence, why you continue to attract the same type of women, how to be an asset as a man, how to affirm yourself, how to let a woman— well, it said I gotta let a man be a man, but how to let a woman take care of you.

Wow.

How to control your emotions and how to position yourself to find Ms. Black.

Mm-hmm.

So, as I end my close, I'm going to give you a few tips so that you can remember why you're here and some things that you can do to help you position yourself. Number 1 is pray and ask God what you want. Be specific, people. I said I wanted a husband, and I got it. He was just like my daddy. And that wasn't good. Let go of the baggage. If you take the same bricks from the same relationship, you'll build the same house. Embrace all your flaws. Let go of past relationships that may have failed, be it your fault or not. Quit replaying what had happened. It's over, it's done with. Make a list of the relationship, all of your relationships, and write down what you've learned from them, whether good or bad. Stay away from women and men that are negative and bitter towards the opposite sex. Pay attention to the signs and go with your gut instinct. Just make sure your gut instinct is is not fear. Learn how to decipher the two, because God can send somebody awesome into your life, but you allow that fear to stop you from moving forward. Make a list of all the wonderful places that you would like to go and take yourself. You don't have to wait on a man to do nice things for you. When you treat yourself nice, other people will do that too. Don't be so busy that you don't have time for love or to go out. Don't be a part of the I'm-Too-Busy.com club. You don't want that. Go out alone, prepare your life to receive love. Don't just say it with your mouth, but start to rearrange your life for someone to come in. We all say, "You gotta get in where you fit in." Well, most men go bounce when you say that. I have a friend, I'm like, "You know what, Mike, the women, they're not— you have to open yourself up and schedule some time." Nobody wants to be an afterthought. We all want to be special. Release the past so you can embrace your future. Be honest with yourself. If you want a wife or a husband, be okay with saying that. Cut back on the girls' night out and the girlfriends' cruises. And fellas, have goals and ambitions. Don't just talk about them, make them a reality. Speak and think positively about men or women. Believe there are good men and women out there, and one is specifically designed for you. Take care of business, ladies and gents. Bring something to the table other than your appetite. Get rid of all email addresses, physical addresses, phone numbers of men or women you have no desire to be with. Keeping them around will only tempt you to contact them when you don't need. Walk with your head up, shoulders back, and a smile on your face. Don't carry your burdens and worries on your face. It shows in your body language. And apply those tips on a regular basis and make sure that you always pray God's word over your situation. As the word says, none shall lack its mate. Amen.

Hello, my name is True, and And I'm here because I want to be single no more. I'm having a great time here. The first thing that I really learned and kind of understood was that my self-worth, that's what really brings and that's what attracts men. That's what attracts people to you. And listening to her talk about that has given me a different outlook. She talks about how sometimes we walk around and our facial expression is, you know, mean or we're overthinking things. So, you know, that kind of really made me think about how I look towards other people when I'm around them and how sometimes I can be overdramatic or, you know, rough when I'm handling things and I need to be more feminine.

I'm thankful that I'm here and One of the things that she had brought to my attention is how my exterior looks. I'm really rough and domineering and abrasive, and so the idea of becoming more soft and feminine, being more feminine, is a lot— it's interesting, and I'm interested in actually being more feminine and soft. So just the idea of being vulnerable though is not— I'm not really with that right yet, yet, yet, quite yet. But I am willing to be a little bit more softer and to be a bit more feminine. And also I know, recognize that what I should do is change the exterior of my face. I should not wear my issues on my face. So I would like to smile more. And to be softer and to be a bit more kinder in my appearance of my face. So does it look soft?

Well, the Single No More seminar for me is really a blessing because although I'm married, it's great information I can take back to other women who are single and I can share with them what April Mason has began to share with the ladies here. First off, knowing your worth is very important because if you don't you know what your worth is, nobody else can know what your worth is. So you need to learn how to communicate that. So that was one of the biggest points that I gained today here at Single No More.

Hi, my name is Lisa and I'm volunteering today for information Single No More. I chose to volunteer today because event planning is something that I want to do and I know God has put ministry in my hands, especially for singles because that is my passion. So I just wanted to get together with like-minded people. I know that, you know, April is one who is also like-minded, you know, definitely with the singles and working her ministry. So that's why I'm here today, just to glean and learn from April. Learn new aspects, new avenues, and how to really position myself into being in a position to get Mr. Right and to upstart a new entrepreneur with my business.