April Mason from the Single No More Project outlines a checklist for single mothers evaluating romantic partners as potential father figures. She covers what to look for: respect for you and your kids, acceptance of your past, being a positive role model, genuine care for your children's wellbeing, and future-oriented language like "we" instead of "I".
Chapters
Hey everybody, this is April Mason here with the Single No More Project, and I bet you can't guess what I'm out here on this beautiful sunny day with no cares, no worries, but it is kind of windy, sister hair blowers, uh, out here doing today. I'm doing what some women would not admit that they do. It's called daddy shopping. That's right, it's daddy shopping day. But you know what, one thing you must do when you go daddy shopping— oh, you're still looking at the screen like, I know she didn't say that. Let me explain, ladies. For those of us that are single parents, a lot of times when you talk about you want a man in your life, but you only look for a guy that's good for you, but you don't look for someone that's also good for your children as well too. So he might fit the details of what you would want, but does he make a good father? So that's what daddy shopping is. And if you will be woman enough to admit that you do daddy shop, the sooner you'll be able to position yourself to be found to meet the man of your dreams. So the first thing about what you must do when you are daddy shopping is you gotta have a list. How many times have you gone into the grocery store and you didn't take a list and you end up buying junk and crap that you do not need? And God forbid you get to the register and you see all the different varieties of candies and goodies and hand sanitizers and stuff that you really don't need. And all of a sudden you buy it, compulsive shopping. Well, when it comes to daddy shopping, sometimes we've done that as well too. We picked up the quickest one that seemed, that looked like the part, well, he was there at the time, he seemed good for us, and it was a compulsive decision. Well, time out for that. You will no longer make those mistakes. So from now on, you're gonna have to have a daddy shopping list. That's right, I have a daddy shopping list. And here's just a few suggestions for you of the things that are on my list, and you can put on your list as well too. Number 1, he must respect you and your kids. That's very, very, very important. Gotta respect you and your kids. He's accepting of your past. Now, some of us have gone through some things and we've done some stuff that we are so not proud of. However, when you get to that point to where you can divulge that information to him, he must be accepting of your past. He gotta be a role model, ladies. He has to be a role model. I know for some of you out there your kid's father is in your child's life, but for some, you know, he's not. So either way it goes, as most, most 9 times out of 10, that guy's going to be living in the house with you all. So he has to be a great role model whether the child has a father or not. He has to want you to be happy. He has to be concerned about your happiness, and that's very, very— it's going to be very, very important to him. Which brings me into the next one: he has to care about not just your your well-being, but the well-being of your children as well too. Can't be selfish. The thing I hate the most is a selfish behind man. See, that's a whole nother video. We're going to talk about this. I got to talk about the selfishness. Um, the next one is he talks about the future. Now listen to when he talks. Does he say us or do you say— does he say I? Anytime you guys are making plans, does he say this is what we can do or this is what I can do? Make sure he's open, um, and talks about what the future is. No time to waste time if he's not about you and your, you know, you and your children. And you should know this way before you even introduce him to your kids anyway. Um, another one is, ah, he wants to make sure that not only is he a good role model, but that he's a good person. Period. Because a person that's just not a genuinely good person, and that he— and make sure that he likes kids. That's so important because you might have people out there that are not good. You know, they claim, oh, I love kids, but they're really not a good person. So you want to make sure that he's a good person and that he loves kids and that he can treat your kids like his own. There's no— well, for me, whoever I end up with, there's no step. It's either he has children, it's our kids. You know, I have children that they're his kids. So I just— that's just me now. I don't believe this step. I don't want anybody calling me stepmom. I'd rather, you know, call me something else. You don't have to call me mama, but it's something about that step thing that seems like it causes a divide. So that's just my list, ladies. Daddy shopping is what I'm doing today, and, and I see something that kind of interests me right here over to the left, so I gotta go. Talk to y'all later. This is April Mason with the Single No More. Experience. Hold on, I'll be right there. Signing out.
