Are you still taking time to heal? STOP IT! 🛑

Hello there, Facebook family! I'm back, I'm back, and you know when I'm on vacation I get inspired to talk to you. However, I'm getting ready to go to dinner tonight, still here in Montego Bay having a good time, getting ready to party, eating, party, eating, party. However, I read so many comments and got a bunch of messages. Y'all found me because my messaging on this page is off because y'all be bombarding me with a whole bunch of stuff, but y'all found a way to get around that to ask the question about, you know, you said timing, um, isn't important, but it is important because you have to take the time to heal and everything like that. So, you know, you got to take the time and do you and do your self-care and learn how to put you first. That's how I read it, y'all. That's how I read it. That's how it came across me. You're gonna want to share this one because I'm about to help somebody get freedom this here evening. So I said, let me stop before I go eat and everything like that and help the folk have a breakthrough. Y'all need a breakthrough? I need y'all to get a breakthrough on this here evening. Okay, we got 5 more people on. I'll give you the breakthrough when we get to 100 folks. I'll give you the breakthrough. So you might want to share it because some of the stuff that I'm hearing, um, it's very— oh, y'all didn't did that real quick. Some of the stuff that I'm hearing, it's like I understand where it's coming from, and a lot of it has to do with religion and what we've been taught. But let me help you right quick. Let me help you right quick because my stomach growling and it's just need to eat. If you're still thinking you have to in this healing process, stop the BS. Here's the thing, yes, I do believe that you have to heal, right? But I don't believe that it takes you all freaking day to heal. When we go through a breakup, what keeps us from moving forward into something new is because we're using the lame excuse of 'I have to heal,' but actually we're not doing the work to heal. What we're doing is replaying over and over and over and over and over again how things could have changed, or have been different. I'm talking from experience. When I got divorced, it took me a long time to start dating again. My ex-husband got remarried, what, a couple of years later, because the ex-wife emailed me asking me some questions, honey. But I was still, you know, trying to let me heal, let me better myself and everything like that. Let me go read all of these books and everything like that. And, you know, let me go to these old healing retreats and everything like that. Now don't get it twisted, I am for those things, but I'm only for those things for people who are intentional, intentional about what it is that they want. So what I decided here recently, okay, you've been an empty nester for 2 years, you didn't have fun, you didn't date it, you know, enjoyed your empty nester life. Okay, it's time to get serious and choose you a husband, because I believe women choose men and men know that. I don't know why women don't, but Most men, if they're honest, they shoot their shot, and it's up to us to decide if we're going to welcome, um, this— him into our life. So, okay, so once I got serious about— now at this stage in my life, this is what I want— I didn't have to go through, uh, replaying all this other stuff. What I said to myself was, I'm intentional about attracting my husband now, so what I'm going to do is make this a priority to me. I'm not going to let all of the other stuff that I've gone through hold me back and then hide behind, you know, God is gonna heal me. No, he not. No, he not. This is what I mean by that. Let me— for my church folk in the back— God heals people through people, okay? Even thinking about it, when you're— when you go to the doctor and you have a surgery and the doctor heals you of whatever you had, a person was used. I hear people say all the time, well, we come into this world by ourselves, so we have to, um, we can lead by ourselves. That's a damn lie. When you come into the world, there's a nurse, there's a doctor, there might be a midwife, there's your mama, and hopefully your damn daddy. You do not come into this world by yourself. So stop feeding yourself the lie. And you're feeding yourself the lie because it's easier to hide behind an excuse than it is to do the work. To become a better individual. That's really what it is. It's easier to hide behind, um, you know, God is still working on me, he's healing me, versus taking control and saying, you know what, I went through a bad situation, I dealt with a bad breakup, I dealt with a bad divorce. I know about a bad divorce, been there. I've dealt with this and been mistreated and, and traumas and all that, but today I'm making the choice that my healing is today. Period. Because the longer you keep playing this old victim role, this old role of, you know, I'm still healing, you got to take the time to heal— I once again, before y'all non-listeners, non-comprehension folks start, let me say, well, you gotta heal. I'm not saying you don't have to heal. I'm saying it doesn't take you all freaking day to do so. And the only reason why you have not healed is because you're choosing to hold on to the violation. That's it. So whether you're grieving, whether you are, um, dealing with a breakup, or you did it with a broken friendship, whether you're dealing with a mama issue, a daddy issue, whatever the case may be, and you keep using that— I don't have a bunch of women friends because women ain't loyal, so I don't trust women— that's because you're holding on to a violation. So in your world, you're only going to attract women in your life that ain't about nothing. Even as friendship. Well, you know what, I dealt with an infidelity, but I always seem to attract these men that they don't want nothing. Well, it's because your energy is holding on to what had happened was, okay? It's really that simple. And I wish I would have known this a long time ago, honey. I wish I would have learned this a long time ago. But I'm, you know what, as the teacher, when you're in a leadership position, what I found out is that I was like, God, why always got to be me? I have to go through everything first before I teach it to you, and I'm shaving years off of your growth, years off of having to go through what I went through to get the knowledge. Because as the leader, and you're in that public figure position, and you're helping millions of people, you can't just— well, you can, but I don't— you can't just be getting up here talking out the side of your neck. You got to be able to bring, um, people information that can actually change their trajectory of their life. And how it's been given to me is I've had to walk through everything that I share with you. I just pick up no book and say, oh yeah, this is what it is. No, I had to go through it. And then if I read a book or something or was led to a book, because I believe in taking inspired action, all it did was confirm what I was doing and then just showed me more in depth and gave me more insight. But you can't just— I can't just be up here telling y'all this stuff and I ain't been through nothing. So understand, for those of you that have a problem with uh, letting go, and you're using hiding behind God as an excuse, you know, in God's timing, that BS. All time is God's timing because everything was already created. The only people that hold up the manifestations of that, what you want in your life, is you. It ain't God. Because guess what? People, people try to use the 'I'm waiting on God' or 'God is preparing me.' No, you already been prepared. You're already okay. The thing is The only reason why you're not is because you're choosing not to be, period. If you say you're not ready for a relationship, that's what you say. The same way you can say you're not, you can say you are. Thank y'all so much for sharing. The same way you say, you know what, I ain't ready to start a business, okay, well don't complain about not having no money, honey. You can't complain about that. So I say to you tonight, darlings, Stop living in that excuse, that area of excuses, because waiting on God is an excuse. I'm waiting to hear from God. Most of you don't have a spiritual connection, you have a church connection. So you not— you couldn't hear from God if he was telling you audibly, you would still question that. Thirdly, when you finally get an answer, if you were spiritually connected, you connected, you would move on it. But because you're not spiritually connected but you're church connected, you pray about the answer that you got and what you wanted, you go back and pray about that, wasting more time. Because if you had a spiritual connection, you would understand what happened. What manifested did not come out of you. What it did was it was downloaded, and you should be able to trust that. But until you get your spirituality on point, you will always pray for a thing. That's why I asked my ladies in the Teach Me How to Date VIP Academy last week, I asked them, if a man wanted to marry you, and I think like a 3-month period, could you do it? Or something like that. Many said no. I said, but you say you spiritual. If you spiritual and you really is spiritual, not church, your soul and spirit would have connected with that man's soul and you could marry him. True enough, there's still other things you got to learn about him, but when there is a spirit connection, it don't take all doggone day, period. It does not. But when you are still fearful and you're not connected and you're living in the, oh, the Lord gonna have to show me, and living in this church stuff. Y'all got to go through all four seasons together. Who said that? Who said that? They should be teaching you to get your spirituality on point, not your church on point. That's a whole nother video. But that's why so many people can say, I'm waiting on God, and use those excuses. It's because they're not spiritually connected. Also, they don't understand that timing does not exist in the way we think we do. So if I spend X amount of time healing and supposedly healing— because you're really not healing if you're not doing the work. If you're just passing time, you're not doing the work. Totally different. When I went through my transformation into, um, rediscovering and reigniting my femininity for over those 18 months, I was in it. That was all I did. I wasn't worried about nothing else because I felt when it was time to shift. Why did I feel that? Just same way I felt, right? And I think I did a video back in March and I told you I start crying and y'all, I gotta take a break. It's time for me to take a break. My spirit was functioning me to say it's time to take a break and time to focus on this and focus on that and that's it. And I took a break and I've been gone since what, May, uh, April, May? But it wasn't idle being gone, it was self-development. But people don't understand, you can do self-development and date at the same time. You do know that, right? You can be working on you and still attract your Mr. and Miss Right, right? Because here's the thing, none of us will be healed to the capacity that we need to be healed— those of us that are open. I ain't talking about those of you that ain't doing no work, but those that are doing the work on their own and you will never be totally healed until you meet that person that comes in and is the missing piece. So meaning, fellas, if you're not accustomed to a good woman in your life, it's going to take you being open and doing a little bit of work to say, okay, I don't want that kind of woman no more. And you're gonna be tempted with Big Booty Judy and all of them, but it's gonna be up to you to be disciplined, say, nah, that look good, but that's not what I want. I ain't even gonna sample that. When the next woman come along and she's about substance, she's going to show you what a great woman is. And she's going to re-establish, and she is going to, um, help you, uh, reconnect with your faith, with women, with the respect a woman's supposed to give you, how she's supposed to honor you, how she is supposed to be there for you, be that nurturing soft place for you, be that beauty, that seduction— not— well, I say seduction as well as sensualness— as your woman is supposed to be for you. She's going to repair what was damage. The same thing with a good man. Ladies, y'all talking about where the good men at, where the good men at. Ask that women, we don't ask that question because we know there's good men everywhere. You know why we know that? Because we operate in the feminine and we attract them to us. So anytime a woman asks, or to ask me where, you know, where the good men at, I already know she a basic chick because I said women, we don't ask that. We never ask that. Because quality, high-value, quality men are around us all the time. They can't help but be attracted to us because we resonate something on a different frequency that basic women don't. And so we all— we are always set apart. So until you understand that this healing, I'm waiting on God, this, uh, God will send me a good man foolishness that you've been saying, but you ain't been doing nothing on the other side, is not helping you, it's keeping you— it's hindering you, it's paralyzing you because it's causing you not to do any work, baby, you will be single for the rest of your life if you still believe that. So all you honestly have to do, the solution, darling, is choose. Okay, and this is something that I do anytime I've gone through anything that really hurt my feelings. Now, I do believe in feeling, you know. Some— somebody wrote on my other post video yesterday, why she crying? She make it because we're human. I believe as women we have to deal with our emotions and we should embrace our feelings. We should feel that is what we should do, but we don't stay there. But what I do is when I go through stuff, and my friends know this because they will check on me to make sure that I'm abiding by it, it was only one situation in the last couple years that I allowed myself to kind of, uh, deal with for a little longer than that. And if you want to teach me how to date VIP Academy early on, y'all know what that situation was. But other than that, I give myself 48 hours, 48 hours to deal with the BS. I, uh, teach my ladies over there, and I'm gonna give y'all this even though y'all ain't paid for it, the 3, uh, what is it, uh, the accept, uh, assess, accept, decide. So I'll assess the situation, I'll accept what it is, and then I will decide how I'm going to respond, because as that woman, we do not react. But I couldn't be able to do that if I'm Choosing to hold on to whatever the violation was, situation was, and then hide behind, well, I'm waiting on my healing. No, you're not. Time don't heal all wounds. Choice does. So until you understand that your choice will heal your wounds, you will always be hiding behind them doggone church clichés, and I'mma be always waiting on God. That's it. I'm not telling you not to feel. But what I'm telling you is to accept what it is and stop trying to replay it over and over in your mind of what it could have been. Or why am I not good enough? Why don't he want me? What did he want her for? Am I big enough? I mean, am I too big? Am I too small? Am I this? Am I that? Am I too dark? Am I too light? Am I not tall enough? Do I not have enough money for her? Is my car not nice enough for her? Why did she choose him? Why she— can't she see I make a good man for her? Cut the BS. Assess, accept, decide. That's it. Doesn't mean you don't feel. And that's— I have been accused of that from people. You act like you didn't care. No, I actually care. But when you showed me who you were, I accepted it. I accept— assess the situation, I accepted it, and I decided your behavior was not something I could deal with. Doesn't mean I don't love you, it just means I accepted what it is. That's it. So I have the ability to detach, um, like clockwork. Doesn't mean I didn't feel— I don't feel, but I'm very accepting of what is. And that's how I learned to put me first. Okay, April, does this— is this an alignment with what you want for your life, girl? Okay, this don't feel good. I like him though, but he's sexy though. Damn, why you gotta be all like that? Oh God, if he would just only But when I see what it is, April, he's showing you, and it's up to you as an asset woman. Your job is to lean back and to assess and to see if this is something you want for your life. No matter how fine— y'all know I like muscle— how much money and muscles he got, the biceps and the triceps, Lord have mercy, I gotta keep it moving. Doesn't mean I don't see, doesn't mean I don't like, because I am definitely all woman, but it means that I follow my heart, but I take my head with me. And I, I've gotten to a point where I know, okay, yeah, I'm not trying to fix nobody, you know. So it's what it is. You assess, accept, decide. So if you're still trying to figure out this whole healing thing and how long it's going to take you to heal, and, you know, a person shouldn't date right after the divorce because they, you know, they're not healed, they gotta decompress. That's everything that you're putting on you to do. So if that's what you're putting on you to do and that you need to do, yes, that's what you need to do. My spiritual mom, y'all met her at my, um, my last conference. Her— she, she was going through a divorce. She just happened to log on Plenty of Fish, and right before her divorce was final, she logged on Plenty of Fish. She met— I called him Daddy Tommy. Daddy Tommy August. They didn't meet in person until September. Her divorce is final in October. They have been joined at the hip ever since then, and they got married within a year, and they're still married. And that was in 2015. That's because she knew she was a wife. So I said— she said, she said, baby, I said, God, you know, you made me to be a wife. I'm not gonna stop until this— until I get this right. And that's what she did. And I love him for her. So she didn't have to take all that time. But the thing was, when Tommy came into her life, true enough, she had some walls up, but who he was, his presence of who he is, is what healed her. That's it. Sometimes it's not what a person does, it's who they are. I remember I had a, um, a guy I was dating come by my house and he was like, you have a healing house. I said, well, why is my house a healing house, darling? He said, people just feel comfortable and relate. He said, you just me sitting here telling you my whole entire life and I hadn't said much. It's the energy of the house and of the person. I have a gifting of encouragement and helping people to heal. I am a healer by just the presence as well as the words that I choose to use. I get that, I understand that. So it's not always about what you can do for a person, it's who you are. Okay, it's who you are. So if you want to be in a relationship— and I'm gonna leave you with this because I gotta go eat— but honey, that's how I heard y'all, that's how I was reading y'all's post. Hi there. If you really want to be in a relationship, ladies and gents, stop hiding behind 'I need to heal,' especially if you aren't picking up a book, new tools, going to conferences on the subject, um, going to therapy. If you're not doing any of that, and then intentionally choosing to think different thoughts, intentionally not holding your past as, uh, the barometer, you know, choosing to say, you know what, I am a different person now, okay? I'm a different person now. And now, especially if you've been listening to me any, any amount of time, and if you're in my Teach Me How to Date VIP Academy, you can say I'm now equipped with new tools. So the old me and the way I chose women, the way I chose men, I was not equipped with wisdom and new information. But now, because I've been listening to Miss April and I've been smart enough to pick up a book and go to a conference and invest in myself Now that I'm making love a priority in my life, I'm going to do what it takes. Because we may get— getting started business a priority, getting our degree a priority, where the kid— we even make where the kid's gonna go to school a priority. So we will pay more money to live in a better neighborhood and so that we can put the kids in a better school. But when it comes to love and what we really desire, that support system that we really desire and need, we try to go at that alone. I don't understand that. I have mentors in every area of my life. Even if when it comes to men, I got mentors. I don't know everything. I know how to be a feminine woman and teach you how to be that, darling. I could do that. But I have male friends— Jack, Joe, Sean. Y'all love Sean Lovings too. He's single too, y'all. Um, but I have that in my life because once I'm— when I made my business a priority, I was all focused on business. That's what I did. I went and hired business coaches. I went and bought programs, everything, because that was the focus. And guess what? I broke my ceiling on my income. I said I wanted to make, you know, a high 5, 6 figures in a month. Well, I broke that. How did I break that? How did I do that? It was because I focused and was intentional about my goal. But for whatever reason, we've been made to believe— for, I think it's from a religion standpoint— that you're supposed to sit around waiting as women to be chosen by a man And it's like, wait a minute, y'all always use that story of Ruth and Boaz, but y'all don't understand. Naomi was the OG and told Ruth where to be. And then she told her, you know, once the man get a little bit drunk, ask him to marry you. And so she shot her shot because she paid attention, she listened. So when y'all get caught up in the spirituality of it, y'all make spiritual things— you know, stop making spiritual things natural, natural things spiritual. At the end of the day, Naomi told the girl where to go to get found. But too many people are sitting around waiting and not taking their own love life into their own hands because we've been taught to sit around and wait. And I have clients, uh, as old as 75 who subscribe to that and just waited around for somebody to come and talk to them. I'm like, wait a minute, baby, just because he finds you don't mean you got to choose him. And secondly, A lady knows how to shoot her shot without him even knowing that that's what she did. I mean, or I get the ones that's 50-something years old. I'm like, well, you know, I've been— I'm, you know, I'm still healing. Hell, you've been divorced 25 years. What are you saying? What my daughter do? She said, what are you saying? What are you saying? What are you saying? My daughter be doing that. Girl, stop. You ain't healing. You just ain't met nobody. That's it. I'm like, that's just like women who say they celibate. I'm like, girl, you celibate by default. You are not celibate. You are not celibate. People for real, for real. You are not abstaining for real, for real. You just ain't got nobody checking for you right now. You ain't got nobody that you like and that you attracted to checking for you right now. Holla at me when you got somebody checking for you that you like and talking about how celibate you are, then I can believe you. Okay, so anywho, stop it with the healing, hiding behind it. If you're really doing it, understand you have to really do it, meaning you have to say, this is where my energy is. I'm focusing on finding out why it's so hard for me to let go. What— here's one of the things that I had to find out, and I'm gonna let you go with this. I have the most utter, um, what's the word I want to use? It makes my stomach turn, disgust, when a person, person is not loyal, because I'm an extremely loyal person. And so I had to figure out where my need to make sure I have a loyal man comes from. This is what I mean by doing the work. You write down the issues that you have and what's important to you, and then you go back, you backtrack and figure out why is this so important to me. Why is it so important for you for a man to put you first in his life? I'm not saying, you know, he don't go to work and all that, but I'm saying I have to be a priority up here. In his life, right? And I had to figure out where did that come from and why as soon as the, the hint of a fragrance, of a smell, of a taint of that comes up with a man, I'm out the door. So I had to really, really look at why that's important to me. That's where the healing process could take place. And it also says, okay, but whoever you marry, he has to be loyal and he has to put you first. And this is why. This is how it makes you feel when a man does do those things. If you're not really identifying and you placing all the blame on your exes and what they didn't want and what— you gotta ask yourself, what was it about me that made me choose that person? You know, loyalty is like, oh, I knew my marriage was over when my ex-husband wasn't loyal and he sold my company secrets to the girl next door. I had a business credit firm and he sold told my company secrets to the girl with a— with the credit repair service next door. Honey, once I found that out, I was done like a Thanksgiving turkey. So for me, loyalty is so important. It's— it's— to me, it's so important to where I can know you did it. But I got you. I'm not getting that behind when we get in the car. But in front of everybody else, baby, uh-uh. I'mma ride for you as long as I know you got me in the same manner. But once that man sold them secrets, baby, and gave them to the girl next door because he wanted his credit repaired and she was wondering how I was getting all of these clients, he said, well, if you fix my credit, I'll tell you what my wife is doing. Honey, that was it. So I had to identify why loyalty was so important and why it makes me cringe when someone is not, um, loyal. It just— you will see a whole nother Miss Mason, I promise you, for disloyalty. But I had to figure that out. Once I figured it out, I said, okay, check that off your list. Okay, you got to have a very loyal man that says, no, I will kill you about mine. Okay, yeah, April, you have to have that, that type of, uh, loyalty. Okay, so I just wrote it on my little list. I didn't sit back and say, let me heal, or let me keep replaying, let me keep— no. No, no, no. So stop it with the, uh, with the whole I'm healing thing, especially if you're not doing the work. And also give yourself a set time to deal with whatever you feel like you gotta deal with, okay? Give yourself a set time because I want to see you all in loving relationships. I want to come to y'all's weddings. I want to be there, you know. I'll be a flower girl and everything. Um, I want to be there. I sit there, I do what you know, sitting there in the front and to be crying and whatnot. I want to come to y'all's stuff, but we're not connecting because we're hiding behind something that is nothing more but pseudo, meaning fake. Okay, okay. So that's what I need you to do. Okay, let me block a troll. Hold on, I see a troll. Okay, I don't know how to do it, but I'll block him later. I don't know what he talking about, I need to put a t-shirt on. Hell, you pay— if you paying attention to what I'm saying, you ain't worried about whether I got a t-shirt on. That's that lust demon. That's what the church people would say. Anywho, y'all, love you so much. Share this video. Make sure you subscribe to this Facebook page, YouTube, or Instagram if you're watching on either one of those platforms. And like I said, when I go on vacation, I get inspired to talk to you, but I'll be back full-time real soon. Love y'all. Good night.