Choose somebody already!

It's April Mason here. Welcome, welcome. Listen, I wanted to chit-chat with you really quickly. I know I haven't been live on, um, YouTube in a very long time, but I see y'all coming in here though. I see y'all coming in here, but let's get right into it. This video is Choose Somebody Already, okay? Choose somebody already. And this is what I mean. I was having a conversation yesterday with, uh, my cousin called and, uh, my good friend Sean Lovings. Y'all know Sean, he actually was at my boot camp here in Atlanta. And we were talking yesterday, uh, especially the conversation that I had with my cousin. And my cousin is a very attractive guy. The women be just all on him. Hey y'all, I see y'all coming in. Texas in the building. And, um, You know, we were talking about dating and, you know, I told him, when you gonna get a wife? And all that good stuff, right? And here it was, it finally, finally came out and I totally could get what, uh, he was saying. And I wanted to share my thoughts on choosing somebody. This is what I mean. When you're in a position and you have a lot of options, meaning not just random people, but you have a lot of on-paper options, right? And you're considered attractive and you're considered smart and intelligent and you pretty much got your ish together, um, you get a lot of people approaching you. I understand it, I lived it, right? But as I was explaining to my cousin When do you say, I'm going to choose someone that I think that I can get along with, um, we have similar goals in life, we have fun together, um, you know, and they meet your basic core needs? Because you're not going to get everything you want. Now, you're going to get some of what you want, not everything that you want, but But as long as they meet those, whatever those core needs that you have are, choose somebody. So my cousin, I— that was the question that I asked him. I said, so, um, cousin, do you think because you have so many women to choose from makes it harder for you to make your decision? He said yes. But all of the moves that he's making is like for a family. And I'm looking at— he showed me the new house he bought and all of these things. And I said, uh, it's just you. What you need that big old space for, right? But he doesn't really— he didn't realize subconsciously he really does want to be in a loving relationship. But when you've gone through so much and you've been hurt, it's hard sometimes. And I raise my hand to let the guard down, to let somebody in. So we got to talking. I said, all right, what is it that you like? Tell me what you like. And You know, he was like, April, I need you to hook me up with one of your asset women. But as I talked to him and got more and more in touch with him, I realized he really wants a relationship. He's tired of going through different women. And it just really, really made me think, you know, how many first dates do you want to continue to go on? How many random vacation— I mean, vacations do you want to take with random people? You know, how many Fourth of July events do you want to go to, or celebrations, with a new date every year? You know, it really gets tiring having to do the whole get-to-know, first-date thing over and over and over and over again. And I won't lie, you know, and I've, I've lived this life myself. Oh, I'm trying to make sure that the ceiling isn't out in the way. This is life myself before, that when you have options it's easy to just walk away from people without working out any of your disagreements, your communication. And I was the queen of that. My friends will tell you. They'll tell you. They're like, April will walk away. And I had to learn to communicate better. I'm still learning how to communicate better. And the biggest thing— and as I was talking to Sean and my cousin— is People with quality options, not just, I'm so tired of these jokers, that ain't about nothing. No, but people with quality options tend to have less patience and shut down quickly and just keep moving, keep moving on, keep moving on. But when do you get to a point where you just say, you know what, I'm going to choose someone that I like? I like how I feel when I'm in her presence. I like what I feel when I'm— how I feel when I'm in his presence. I like these things about this person and I want to explore. When do you say, I'm going to stop here and I'm going to focus on this individual? And that brings me to my friend Sean. And, um, Sean and I were talking, and when he came to my birthday party, you know, he's dating someone. He said, April, um, at 48 years old— well, he about to be 49. He said, you know, I got the pick of the litter. And I said, yeah, I've seen— I'm like, I'm like your little sis, so I know, I know what you're working with, honey. I've seen them. He said, but the lady that I'm with— I told myself, I'm tired of going through different women. I'm tired of not being able to build with somebody, you know, a solid foundation. He said, so I told myself I was going to give her 100% of me so that if it doesn't work out, I can't say that I was dealing with her, her, her, her, and her, and people were pulling my time. No, I made a decision that because I'm almost 50 years old and I don't want to keep running through women all the time, I don't want to keep, uh, randoms around, you know, I want to build something with somebody. You know, and so I totally understood what he was saying because I was like, I feel the same way, Sean. You know, just want to choose somebody and say let's focus on each other and see what actually happens. Hey, I see y'all telling me, uh, hey. And so I said, you know, really this whole thing is about choosing somebody. And I remember earlier this year I was, um, I was dating someone and I had to let him go. Only, you know, he was a lot older than I wanted, and, you know, that wasn't a good fit. But one of the things he told me— he was actually a good guy. I actually hooked him up with somebody else because I don't believe in just because I dated you that if it's a better fit that I won't send you to somebody else. I don't hold men hostage, you know. But he told me one of the— and it stuck with me. He said, April, he said, your problem is you have too many options and you're afraid to make the wrong decision. I said, interesting. He said, for you, it's like going in a candy store, and instead of just going to get some chocolates, you have access to a whole lot of different types of chocolate. And he said, because of what you do, you have access to calibers of men that most women would dream of. He said, so you have a big, big pool of options. And I said, yeah, that's true, but quality over quantity is more important to me. He said, yes, but you're afraid of making the wrong decision. And I said, you might be on to something. And then it really— that statement really made me think, you know, April, attract someone into your life that you like. See what he's about. See how he adds value to your life. See how you can add value to his life. Make sure he treats you right, he meets your core needs, and stay there and see what happens. So I'm giving you the advice that I had to give myself because dating for me is very easy, you know, and you get tired. Okay, we— I don't— I teach people how to date. I've mastered that. I know how to go out on dates. I know how to attract, uh, high-valued, high-quality men. I know how to do all that. That's the easy part. But now it's time to say choose somebody already. Am I making sense? Choose somebody already and decide to focus on that person. That's really what it is, because when you do have a lot of options, it does— it can keep you from making the right choice. Because it's what I call the FOBO syndrome. That's why I talk about that all the time. I talk about it because I've, I've had it, the fear of better options. But there's going to be something wrong with everybody. Nobody's going to be perfect. You can never have the perfect person, but you can have the perfect partner, and that's so important. So choose somebody already, folks. Just choose somebody. And say, this person, I'm going to stay right here. Am I speaking the truth? I, I see y'all just choose somebody. Love is a risk. Letting your guard down is a risk. Moving to that next level is a risk. But how many random dates do you want to go on? How many different women and men do you want to keep sleeping with because you miss companionship and you need some sex and you know, and you're not taking the time to get to know somebody so they can learn your body. They can learn what you like, what you don't like, so they can— they can study you so they can please you. Because when you're constantly jumping from person to person to person, you don't get to do that. You don't get to do that. It's easy to go out on a bunch of dates. It takes you being grown and mature to choose somebody to focus on and say, I'm going to give this person 100% of me. So even if it doesn't work out— now you got to be okay with that though— even if it does not work out, you can say, I gave it everything. And someone that I'm seeing, one of the things we were talking the other day, and he asked me what I liked about him, and then I asked him what did he like about me, and the first thing out of his mouth was, you're— I like it that you're vulnerable. That's the first time a man had ever said that. You know why? Because I didn't get vulnerable. I made a decision to say, the next person that I start seeing I'm going to be who I would be if I was in a full-fledged relationship with them, okay? And it got scary because it required me to communicate better. It required me to be open and honest. It required me to do some growing. I'll say that. Okay, but y'all say awesome video. Thank y'all. So it required something of me, okay, and it stretched me, but I made a decision that I was going to be vulnerable with the next man that I encountered, that I started seen. Okay, and it's so interesting because there was two things that he said since we've been hanging out that I know that I made a conscious decision to do. One thing was, before I even met him— it was so funny— a few days before I met him, I said, you know what, I'm going to make it a point to be on time. I'll be on time. On our second date, he whispered in my ear, I love it that you're punctual. And what I'm teaching you, showing you here, is the power of your words and manifestation. So he gave me confirmation that I was heard, and then it was noticed that I was on time. And then when I said I was going to be vulnerable, the first thing he says that he likes about me is the fact that I'm vulnerable. It's a scary place to be, folks. Very scary place to be, especially when you've gone through things. We've all gone through things, and you guys know my story. Y'all know what I've— you know what I've gone through. Um, but that was a choice that I had to make. April, you're gonna have to be vulnerable with somebody. You're gonna have to let somebody see you. You have to do that. So I chose that. So whether it works out or not, I still benefit from the growth, okay? I still benefit because I made a choice, a conscious decision to be a better woman in my communication as well as my level of vulnerability. That's why I wrote the post the other day that, um, I had to be honest when the question was asked, what's your biggest fear? And normally I would, you know, I'll give the surface answers, but I'm like, April, if you want somebody to be open with you, you got to be open with them. Because I believe that everybody is— that you meet is a form of you. It's a mirror of you. If you don't know how to communicate well, the person that you might be, um, the drawn people you're drawing in your life, they may not be communicating well either. If you can't— if you keep attracting emotionally unavailable people, it's probably because you're emotionally available on some level. And I just made a decision that regardless of how scary it gets or how open I have to be. I made a decision to do that. I made a decision to do that. So ask yourself, am I tired of randoms? Am I tired of randoms? And You know, the guy that I, you know, I told you about earlier this year that I kind of, you know, sent back, he said, April, all you have to do for you, just choose somebody, choose somebody that you like, and then decide that I'm focusing here and do what you need to do. He said, because you— she said, you know how to keep a man. He said, now that I know you know. He said, but you're afraid of making the wrong decision because of how your marriage turned out. And I didn't even realize that I was still a little shaken in my boots, just a little bit, um, because of that. Because my daughter told me the other day, she said— well, yesterday she said, Mom, I can really say I admire you because I didn't realize what you went through and the sacrifice that you made for us. So, um, when I got married, it wasn't the best marriage. Um, I wasn't in love. Um, I loved him, but I wasn't in love with him. So I didn't know what it felt like to be genuinely in love with somebody and somebody genuinely loving on you, you know, and, and just want you. Um, because I just I'm married because of religious reasons, of how I was taught. But my kids never saw me in a relationship growing up. They never— well, my last relationship, they got to see a little, see that. But other than that, growing up, they didn't see none of that. I didn't have men running in and out the house. Um, they didn't even know when I went out at night, uh, when I would go to the— at the club. They didn't even know any of that because I made sure that I protected them. And she said, Mom, I didn't realize how much you sacrificed, you know, for us, uh, you know, with your dating life, you know. Because I could have been married, you know. I've had several proposals, um, since then. But after dealing with what I dealt with growing up, I didn't want nobody abusing my kids. So, you know, they're grown and gone now, but At the same time, that's just my— that was my thing, you know. I didn't want to do that. I'm sorry, the camera moving, y'all. I can't put it on the, on the, uh, little mount I have here. For some reason it won't stick. So at this stage in life, I said, all right, April, you just turned 44, um, you're the love of somebody's life, you enhance folks' lives. You know, you, you know how to inspire men to be better and do more and be more. You know, I'm very domesticated. You know, folks don't— there's a lot of things about me y'all don't know. Um, yes, I'm the woman that make my man plates. All y'all that got some problem with that, hey, I was raised that way. I'm gonna, I'm gonna always make daddy plate. And I remember going to a barbecue a few years back and We— he and I were just dating, and we— this is the first time we went out amongst his friends. And I said, well, I said, what would you want on your plate? So the women were looking at me like, why you ask? He can make his own plate. I'm like, no, I make my man's plate. I mean, that's just what I do. Even if I'm— even if we're just dating, you know, I know I'm— I make his plate. That's just what I do. So there's a lot of, like I said, about me that you all don't know, but I had to be okay with letting a man see those sides. Okay, I'm on my lip. I had to be okay with that, and I normally would not, but I made— and I can't wait to tell y'all. I haven't told anybody this part, but I can't wait to tell y'all, um something. We go— we— I'll tell you, we're gonna see. Um, but I can't wait to tell you all what I did when I was in Key West. And it is just— I'm kind of mind-blown right now. But I, I will tell y'all soon. I'll tell y'all soon. Hopefully I'll be able to tell you soon. But I, I can't wait to tell you what the whole purpose of my Key West trip was. I can't wait to tell you, but, um, some other things have to happen before I, um, before I share that information. So I won't hold you all too long. I just wanted to share that with you because I got— of course, you know, I gotta share this with my Facebook folk because I'm not sure if I can download this video and put it on Facebook. But choose somebody. Ask yourself, does this person add value to my life, or they are— or are they just something to do? Do they, do they believe in you? Do they support you? That's very big for me. Like, men tend to not support what I do, or get jealous, um, or downplay. And I dealt with that when I was married, so With that, I know having a supportive person in my life, a supportive spouse, is a must because Miss Mason ain't downgrading. My career, everything is doing nothing but skyrocketing. I have some stuff to tell y'all about that as well too. Y'all saw that I was filming another show. So having somebody there— and I remember Fantasia said when she prayed and asked God to send her somebody, one of the things she prayed for with somebody to cover her because she's out in this industry all by herself. And that's why I have to have somebody that covers me at this stage, because this next level of what God has in store for me career-wise and, you know, books— actually, I am working on another book. Hopefully it'll be out for the holiday. Um, and no, it's not the erotic book. That one coming. But this is another book that I've been working— that I'm working on. I have to have somebody that can cover me and protect me and be a safe place for me that I can just be April, not Miss Mason, not— y'all know y'all call me Auntie— not the mentor, not the life coach, not the, you know, femininity coach, but a safe haven, peaceful place that I can retreat to, and he's there, and I can let my hair down. Uh, and that is so important to me. It's not about how much money he's making, you know. And like I told my ladies in my VIP Academy yesterday, I said it's not about how much money he spends on you, it's about the time that you spend and making sure the time is quality. Because my primary love language is quality time, and it doesn't mean I have to see you every day, but the time that we spend has to be quality time. So I know that, and I just made a decision to say, all right, Ape, it's time for you to get serious about this. You didn't have your time, you know, being an empty nester. Y'all know I've been an empty nester for 2 years now. And you've had your time, um, you now are ready to be open enough to welcome somebody into your life. And it's one of those things where I have to tell men, just because I'm ready for something doesn't mean I want it from you. So don't get nervous, don't get nervous like a sister trying to lock you down. But I am at a place where I'm able to verbalize at this stage in my life I, I want to focus on one person, and whether it works out or not, it's the decision that I made to grow. They said, where do you find men? If you're in my Teach Me How to Date VIP Academy, you would know we don't find men, and we understand that men are everywhere. Like I meet men every time I come out, walk out the house. Like, it's not a— it's not a one particular place the men hang out. Now, of course, there are places that are heavily populated with men, but when you understand that there is an abundance and you don't live in lack, there's men everywhere. So there's not— I do have a, um, if you can go to my website and download my course, uh, Girl Get Your Day 8 or 50 great places to meet, um, quality men. I do have that, and I list my top 50 places, uh, that I've used in the past, uh, that some of those places that are on the list, you're going to be like, whoa. So it's a video and an ebook as well too. So you can go to AprilMason.com, click on store, and download that. But also make sure you go to AprilMason.com, and I'm doing a free teleconference call for the ladies on Tuesday at 7 o'clock. So make sure you go to AprilMason.com, click on free teleconference, and all of the details are there. So I gotta go, um, but I want to share that with you. Choose somebody already, you know. I'm ready to build a legacy. I'm ready to, uh, make memories, not going on trips you know, dudes flying you here, there. Not— I, I, I've already lived that. I've already done that. I'm, I'm tired of that. I don't want to, you know, do that. I dated the celebrity dude, some of y'all favorite folks. I didn't been out with— I've done the athlete thing. That ain't, that ain't it for me. I, I know what I need. So once you get to that place, those aha moments in life, and you realize, I thought I wanted that. That ain't what— that ain't what you want. That ain't what you want. You want this over here type of man. And you start really digging into yourself, digging into you. That's when you find out so much more about yourself and the persona you is just that— the person that you present to the world. But the core you can never be satisfied by the type of people you attract to your persona. Oh, I said something right there, because I've dated men that were attracted to the April Mason brand. They like what that represented. They get to, you know, put on suits and get on red carpets with me and all that kind of stuff. They, you know, They have access to the celebrities and people that I have access to. That's the April Mason brand. But because I knew that, it never allowed me to let my guard down enough to show them who April Mason was or who she is. So choose somebody. Don't be no punk. This is a no punk zone, baby. Don't be no punk, okay? No punks. Choose somebody. And I'm not just saying just you needy. This is not about a needy thing. This is about understanding what you need in your life and being okay with saying, you know what, it would be great to have a partner that I can focus on, that I can make memories with, that I can make money with, that I can make love to, that I can um, go on trips with and, you know, walk through the park and just walk through IKEA with, you know. I don't even have to be nothing major. Find that person, attract that person to you. And if you're one of those people that have a lot of options, do like my boy Sean did and said, yes, I got women everywhere, but I'm choosing to give this one 100% of me because I could see what we could do together. She's not just beautiful, um, she is smart, she's intelligent. We can make money together, we can build a legacy together. And he started listing all of the things that they could do together. So he said, I could continue to date a bunch of random women, but why would I do that when this one right here, I enjoy how I feel when I'm in her presence. So I wanted to share that with you as I drink my ginger ale, settle in my stomach. Mm. Do that. Choose somebody already. Okay? Love y'all. Have a wonderful day. And make sure you go to my website, AprilMason.com, baby. And sign up for my free teleconference call for the ladies on Tuesday at 7 PM. I think it's 7, 7 or 9, one of the two. The details are there. Okay, hold on, somebody asking a question. Oh, I can't see it. Wait a second, hold on. I'm gonna see if I can get to your question real quick. Can I see? Can I see? Can I see? Because I'm on my phone. But I don't see it. Oh wait, hold on, there we go. Let's see. How can you differentiate the guy that wants to build something with you rather than 50/50? He'll say it. You like the guy that wants to— like, I don't, I don't build with a man, I amplify, meaning I'm past the building stage, but God gave me something real special. I can put my hands on it and I can amplify anything. Like, if you got $1,000, baby, I can turn that $1,000 into $10,000. So, uh, you, you got to know the type of man that you're dealing with, you know, is what you got to know. You have to know, um, that what he, what he's after. Your goals in life have to be the same. I know I could not date or be with a man who does not have the desire to leave a legacy and build something. Because a man— I can only be with a man with a vision. And I learned that about myself maybe about, um, 5 years ago. I can only be with a man with a vision. Why is that? Because how God made me, he made me in a way that I enjoy helping him birth the vision. Now, of course, he got to come to the table with something, you know. This ain't just, you know, Miss Mason doing it all. No, but I realize I'm what's called the— you know, well, well, I was affectionately given the name the, um, Amplify Woman. Okay, so even when dating someone, for me, this is just me, I have to figure out early on what is it that they want to do in life? Because if they don't have anything for me to put my hands on, to work my magic, to help amplify, I can't date them. Because I take really great joy in saying, hey, look, look what we did, look what I did, look what I did. Okay, this is what you do. All right, I did this part for you. All you got to do, baby, is show up. I like that. I like it. I, I, it's not for every woman, but I wrote a post back in 2016, and I think it's somewhere on my Facebook or my Instagram. It said, proud to be a domesticated woman, and I explained, and I'll repost it on my, um, Facebook— I mean, on my YouTube stories. I'll, I'll post it so you guys can see it, but I wrote it in 2016. Uh, and I like that. I enjoyed— and I had— and how I figured this out was I was married, and since my divorce, I've only been in two relationships. Now, I've been divorced, you know, '07, and the next relationship I got into was '08, well, no, '09, somewhere in there. And then my, well, my next real relationship I got into was in 2012. Well, I noticed the pattern of the men that I chose. They were all men that were entrepreneurial-minded. They, if they had a job, they weren't con— they, they liked it, but they weren't satisfied with just the status quo, you know. They, they needed to have some type of business or something going on, or they were just full-out, full-fledged, um, entrepreneurs. And I enjoyed having my hands on the things that they accomplished. Now, whether they worked out or not, is that much Is that my son-in-law? What y'all doing at my house? Hold on, what y'all doing over here? Where your clothes at? Okay, you all right? Oh, y'all— you— what, you picking up your baby? Um, I got kickball practice. Oh, okay, so they in the house. So they— so your whole family in my house? Bye. Uh, my son-in-law owns a, uh a football, a semi-pro football team here in Georgia and a kickball team. So he just came to check on his family. I didn't even know they were still over here. But anywho, um, I've noticed that the men that I chose, they had, they had visions, right? And I like putting my hands on it. It wasn't that I was trying to build them. It wasn't that I was trying to, um, make them better men. It wasn't that. It's just I'm wired like that. Okay, I'm wired that way. So any man that I entertain, I have to find out quickly what it is that he wants to do with his life, or if he's already in it, and how I could add value to that. If not, I'm not gonna be content. I'm not gonna be content because my— I have to I have to do something. I'm like, I'm, I'm wired. I'm just wired that way, y'all. I can't help it. I'm not trying to change it. I'm just actually wired that way. So I asked specific questions up front, and if the answer isn't something that moved me, I'm like, I don't think I would be able to add value to his life because I would be the type of— I'm a visionary's wife is what I am. I would say that. I'm a man that has vision, has concept, have ideas. I— that's the kind of man that I have to marry. If not, if you just content on your job and saying you don't have no plans for the future, I'm not the one for you. Definitely not the one, um, for you. So to answer that question, you got to know the man that you're dealing with, okay? Yes, even if it's a lawn care empire, because that's what I was trying to build with my ex-husband, but he didn't want to do it. But yes, even— I don't care what it— I don't care if that joker makes the best ice cream from home, from scratch, homemade, baby. Guess who's gonna be out there helping scoop the ice cream? In my little outfit. Me, baby, I know it's hot out here. And here, the funny thing is, I'll tell you this, my daughter is the same way. So my son-in-law owns the football team, right? And one day, um, they would, you know, he needed somebody at the concession stand. So my daughter said, Ma, I'm gonna go work. Can you watch the baby? I'm gonna go work the concession stand for my husband today. And she got out there, it was scorching hot because she was texting me, my, it's hot as hell out here. I said, but you do what you got to do for your man, girl. This is for your family. This ain't just for you, this is for your family. So she gets out there and she is out there, you know, selling everything, the chips, the sodas, and all of this stuff. And my daughter has a similar personality, um, as mine to a degree, where, you know, we, we're people, you you know, we're people people. We can talk to folks. So when it was all said and done, she handed him the money. She's okay, babe, I sold everything, um, and so this is what— this is what you made. She made $1,500, uh, and he was like, $1,500? You really made $1,500? Oh my God, you, you, you did that? And she went to the store, bought more stuff, all of that, right? So the next— later on that night or the next day, she called me. She said, Ma, my husband just gave me $700 for helping him, um, at the concession stand today here to help him build this. They're young, so they building, you know, and He gave me $700. I said, see, sometimes you make the sacrifice and, you know, you get the reward. But that's your husband, so I get that. So for me, I have to have somebody that's like that. For the person that, that asked that question, okay, here's a visionary. I hope you do a video on long-distance relation dating. I've already done videos on about that on my Facebook page. Um, it can work. I just don't do it because I need mine close to me. Uh, but I don't do long-distance dating because my primary love language is quality time, so I can't do it. But I do know people that do, do have done it. My sister did it for 2 years and they've been married over 10 years now. So I think you have to— you can have date night, um, when you are in a long-distance relationship. Y'all can both get on Netflix Y'all, if you got FaceTime, uh, then on phone, kind of phone you got, y'all can watch the movie together, you know, on using video. So there's so many different things that you can do. But I know for me, long distance, um, doesn't work because when I get good news, I want to see you. Babe, guess what? I want to tell you something. I want to see you. I need you by me. Um, and I can't build a bond with anybody that I can't spend time with. So that's me. But there's people do it that have made it happen, including my sister. Somebody said, I need a white man in my life and massive big— massive big what? A white alpha male. We'll go get you if that's what you want. Go get you a white alpha male, baby, if that's what you want. Uh, yeah, yeah, I'm— that ain't my flavor. Um. Let's see, I answer one more question before I go. Uh, I think that that's all I have for you. That's all I can't— because I don't have my good glasses on. I don't have my good glasses on because I can't see. Y'all know I gotta have my good glasses. Oh great, we're glad to have you join the team, darling. Uh, oh, you like my shades, girl? Thank you. I always got some shades, honey. Well, thank y'all. I gotta go, I gotta go lay down for a little while. Um, but, uh, I hope you enjoyed this. Understand, make a choice, choose somebody. Focus on them, and it's really about a choice. It really is. They have a lot of the things that you like and that you need. Give them 100% and see how things turn out. But be okay even if it doesn't turn out the way that you like, because by you making that decision to be open, be more vulnerable, you're setting yourself up for the person that you're supposed to be with. So regardless of if it work out or not, hopefully, you know, you choose someone that wants you just as much as you want them, and they're on the same page as you, and then go for it. All right, love y'all. Bye.