Here is the ONLY reason why men cheat!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, y'all! It is April Mason and this is April Mason Live on Relationship Thursday. How y'all doing? You know I give you guys a shout out, so I'm gonna wait for you guys to come in. I got my song on today. I'm a big India Arie fan. If you know her, tell her April Mason said she loves your music. And this song is called Yellow. It's one of my favorite songs of hers. She said Stay With Me in the Yellow. Stay with me. Some of y'all may not know this one. I don't remember what album it was on, what CD it was on, but, um, it's one of my favorites. It's one of them little happy songs. Hey Patrick, how you doing? Hey Aaron, I see you. And Rasta, hey darling, because they can, can and they want. Nicole, hey Nicole, girl, stop getting in my stuff, you too early. Nicole, hey Kristen, how you doing? Girl, you all in, all in my stuff. Hey, great, Chicago in the building, I see you, I see you. Good afternoon to you, Val. Hey Mika, Latifa, Rasta from Baltimore. 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Honestly, I don't know if I'm telling some secrets or I'm just using, you know, common sense. Um, um, what'd you say? Hey, Millie, how you doing? Angela, loving the hair. Thank you, girl. Um, Jamal from Baltimore, hey bro, watch you all the time, I haven't— I just haven't spoken. Thank you, thank you so much. Uh, Sharita in Greensboro. Terry, I see you. Haha, lipstick popping. My lipstick is popping. Hey, Ronald, San Antonio here. Uh, Club Savoy tonight and start— no, we're not— I got, I got other plans this here evening. Hey, um, Maryland and Queens is in the building. Uh, Elizabeth, April, love you, love you more, girl. Love your hair. Thank you so much, Jennifer. Hey, April in the VA and Denise, some men don't need to cheat. If you are truly in love, there is no need for that foolishness. We gonna get into that. Y'all know when the music stops, that means we get into the show. Well, before I do, you know, I gotta give a shout out to my product, of course. Do you have it? 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Thank you guys. For those of you that have it and have not sent me a picture of you holding it like some of my other ladies have, make sure you do that. I really appreciate it. I put you on my Instagram, and then, you know, you let me know your Instagram name and I'll follow you back. So that's all I have as far as promotions today. Make sure you go get this. Now let's get into today's show. I see y'all are all up in in here. Y'all want to know why do men cheat? So here is the letter. Hold on, here's the letter. It says, Auntie, I love you and I love your show and I really love your advice. Here's my issue. My husband cheated and I am devastated. He says he loves me, but why would he— why would he betray me like this? He said it had nothing to do with me. So why, why hurt the one you love? Do all men cheat? Well, well, I'll say this. This is, this is, this is what I have to say. First of all, I don't believe in cheating. And honestly, some of y'all are look for excuses and reasons why people do what they do. But in all honesty, people cheat, men and women, because they choose to. Bottom line. No matter what is going on in their relationship, no matter what has happened, no matter what the circumstances, no matter any of that, people choose to cheat because they want to. To me, it's equivalent to racism, right? People wonder, they trying to stop racism. You will never be able to stop racism unless you can control people and the choices that they make. Same thing with cheating. You will never be able to control somebody's actions. So everything in life is a choice, bottom line. So we try to come up with all of these— well, she wasn't cooking for him and she wasn't taking care of him, you know, the woman on the side, she see if she do this and she was doing that. No, he only gonna tell you the parts that she wasn't doing. She— he not gonna tell you how she held him down. And this goes in, you know, vice versa with men, um, as well too, that have been cheated on by women. She, uh, she ain't gonna tell him all of the wonderful things that the man has done. She's only going to tell the bad parts where she is not, um, where she is not getting, you know, what she believed that she's getting. So it's bottom line, there is no reason for a person to cheat other than choice. So we can go through all of the, you know, you're not giving him no sex, you're not cooking for him, you're not listening to him, you're not respecting him, you are not, uh, you're devaluing him, you're emasculating him. You can go through all of those excuses, but at the end of the day, that person can choose to leave that situation, or they can choose, um, to not cheat. What you say, read Michael Bay's book and gives, gives the reasons, complete reasons. There honestly, there are no complete reasons to why people cheat. People cheat because they choose to. You can, you can list all of the reasons, but at the end of the day, you, you can choose to cheat or you can choose not to. Yes, there are things that's, that may influence you to want to cheat, but I know people that have been in not so great marriages for years, but the man chose to not cheat because He said, I'm not losing my family. And even though this ain't what it is, it should be. And even though I got women coming at me all day, I value my marriage and I'm making a choice not to cheat. So we always give people passes because of what they say is going on in their relationship. But what you're actually saying is people don't have discipline and they selfish as crap. Because if you cheat on somebody, what you're— and try to still stay with them, what you're saying is I— it's all about me. I, I, I, me, me, me. Because I'm not man or woman enough to leave you, but I am man or woman enough to cheat on you and still try to have you over here just in case it work out. So to me, there is no reason to cheat. Yes, statistics show that people do cheat. Men and women do cheat. However, it's all about the choices that you make. There— you can choose— like, you can choose good, you can choose bad. Just like you can choose to cheat, You can choose not to— thank you so much, Rodney P. You can choose not to cheat. So there is no real reason why people cheat. People can cheat because they get bored. And in the letter she says he said she didn't do anything. Maybe he was bored. Maybe he had the opportunity. Maybe the temptation was too great. There— it doesn't have to be a specific reason or the thing that somebody may not be doing to cause them to cheat. We can— people make millions of dollars off books teaching women on why men cheat. So women be sitting there, okay, let me do this, let me do that, let me do this, let me do that, let me do that. Okay, if I don't do this, let me make sure I take care of him, let me make sure I'm gonna give him enough sex, let me make sure I validate him enough. They can go through all of these things and he still cheats. Why? Because it's a choice. Everything is a choice. Everything. No matter what the excuse is, no matter what the situation is we cheat. He said, should we even be monogamous if you decide— here's the thing, this is the thing about that, Rodney Perry. You know you always coming here starting trouble, but I love you because you my bro. Here's the thing, if you choose to get married or if you make a vow or decide to be exclusive with someone, you made the choice to be monogamous. You made the choice to be in an exclusive relationship. So if that's the choice that you make then that's on you. Now, you could actually go out and find somebody that does not believe in being monogamous, then that's, that's your choice. But if you get with somebody that, that is expecting you to be monogamous— that's why I never understood, like, like athletes, right? Athletes that go get married and then they'll have all of these women around and they'll cheat all on their wives, right? I never understood that because nobody told them to go get married in the first place. That's selfish if you have not gotten it out of your system to at least make a conscious decision that I'm going to do everything within my power to not cheat. Because don't no woman just come, come in and fall on your thang. I'm just saying. I know that didn't sound right, but I know— didn't no woman just came, oh my God, babe, I was just sitting there and she just came and my penis fell out and she just sat on it? Don't work like that. You have to make a choice. So some men are stronger than others, just like women. Women cheat too. Women just are more clever in their cheating. Women— a woman can cheat on you and come back and make love to you like nobody's business and cook for you and act like ain't nothing wrong. So women have the ability to do that, but at the same time, she can make a choice not to do that too. So the question becomes Where does your self-discipline lie? That's where the question is. So if you have no self-discipline and if you cannot put yourself in situations, then— like, for instance, Rodney— okay, since Rodney P, you watching— Rodney Perry and I have been friends since, uh, 2000, for almost 17 years, right? And we've had this conversation, and Rodney is around beautiful women all the time. He's a comedian. But when we talk, he says, Mace, it ain't worth it to me. See, Rodney, I'm putting you on blast. I'm putting you on blast. He's been married years, but he's told me, with all of the beautiful women around— and yes, he sees, yes, all of that good stuff, and, and lipstick is popping, and, and booties is out, and hips is out, and boobs is out, all of that, right? But Rodney Perry, being who he is in Hollywood, in the entertainment industry, doing all that he does, he told his little sis when we have this conversation, baby, it ain't that deep. It, it's not worth me losing everything that I have built with my wife and my, uh, my kids. So anyway, um, if you don't know who Rodney is, go watch, go watch a bunch of Madea stuff, and you see him on all kind of movies and stuff. Google them, Google them, Google them. So in that, um, that's what he said. So that takes a mature-minded man to say that. Doesn't mean he don't see It doesn't mean that he might say, hey girl, you looking beautiful. It doesn't mean that he is not a man and blind. Oh, what'd you say? Who don't know Rodney Perry? I know, that's right. I know, right? I know, I know, that's right, Sharita. So in, in that, my, my brother and I have had those conversations, and he's somebody that hasn't been married forever and got a gazillion kids, and he told me— we were sitting one day um, at a comedy show or somewhere, or even on maybe on the phone. And I asked him about it, said, how do you, uh, keep the women off of you? Because you got women that come at you all the time because they see you on TV, they see you on the radio, you in Hollywood doing your thizzle. How do you do it? And he said, it ain't worth it to me. So like I said, just like he can make the choice not to, any other man can make the choice not to. So I'm just saying, I'm just saying, it's that— to me, it's that simple. It's, it's that simple. So nobody has ever has an excuse, a good enough excuse, on why they are cheating, to me, in my mind. And, um, a friend of mine asked me earlier today, well, what do you consider cheating? Cheating is emotional. You got an emotional connection to somebody that you should be having with your spouse that you don't have. It's physical. Is to me, bottom line, is anything you would do, you would, would not do in front of your mate. If you could not do what you're doing behind closed doors in front of your mate, you out of line. But it doesn't matter if it's conversation, it doesn't matter if, you know, she's good, you know, for me to, to talk to because my wife— no, you go get some communication classes for you and your wife. You go take it to counseling. You never let somebody else come between what you got, especially if you're saying what I got is what I want, and what I got is real. Do we all get tempted? I think sometimes you fellas, y'all don't understand that us women get approached too. There's a lot of guys that sit back and waiting on you to mess up, so they waiting to come in for the kill. So while you thinking, okay, that's my girl, she love me so much, she won't do nothing, there's a man out there that have seen what you doing and see how you treat your wife. And he just easing on in. He, he creeping on you. He ain't gonna come in, you know, just, just straight full force. He gonna creep on in. He gonna lie in waiting like a serpent, just kind of gonna lie and serve it like a serpent before he attacks. So please understand, don't think you got her on lock like that to where you can do whatever you want to do and there's nobody coming after her too, especially if she's a good woman and other people have seen it, including your friends. So don't, don't, don't think that, that she can't. I'm just saying, as a cheating in marriage must be defined with clarity, especially dealing with other cultures. We're not talking about other cultures right now, Greg. We talking about in America what is considered cheating and what you can get a divorce over. The other cultures, they can deal with that over there. We ain't talking about that right now. We talking basic cheating and what's considered adultery. If you could have multiple wives and all of that, then that's not, that's not a topic. This, this is not the topic for that. But if you are getting— get up and get married and say forsaking all others or anything like that, or if you consider yourself a Christian and abide by the Bible, if the Bible was used in any way, shape, form, or fashion in your marriage when you got married, what you're saying at that time, since that is the book that you are using, is that even though you may not say Uh, all of the other vows and forsaking all others, what you are saying when you use that Bible is and get married as a Christian that you abide by the Bible's definition of what adultery is. Come on, somebody. I'm just saying, I'm— y'all might have to send me an offering today. I might have to send me an offering. So in that, let's not get too deep in, you know, that this culture, that culture. At the end of the day, I doubt if I have all, all the followers watching, people from cultures that don't believe what cheating is, that, that, you know, I can have multiple wives. I might have a small, small percentage, but ultimately that's made— you know, if we talk about other cultures, that's majoring in the minor. We're not going to talk about the few that might have the ability to date multiple people— I mean, be married to multiple people and all of that. If you decide, if you decide to bring somebody into your bedroom as a threesome, is that— somebody asked me, is that cheating? Well, If you said forsaking all others and you consider yourself a Christian and you got married using the Bible, that is breaking the covenant. Now, if you are someone that just says, you know what, we like to get freaky and be swinging, and you have no type of, uh, any, um, anything governing you, do what you want to do. But you can't say I'm a Christian and I use the Bible, or I vow to forsake all others, but you want to have— be a swinger. So at that moment you violated the covenant. But like I said, if there's none of that for you, go do what you want. It's a free-for-all. You— there's nothing binding, you know, and holding you. So go ahead and do whatever you want to do. But we got to stop making excuses for why we do what we do. I know, I mean, been there, done that. Make it— we make excuses. So in that, to me, there's no reason to cheat. And I believe you— if you feel like you got to cheat, you can leave. But most people don't want to leave. They want the benefits, the other benefits that come with that. But this piece of my life, you know, it might not be all the way where I needed to be, but I don't want to leave. That's selfish to me. So now not only are you jeopardizing yourself, because if you're sleeping with somebody else, you can bring them— they can give you a disease that you can turn around and give it to your husband or wife. Oh, well, we gonna be protected. Some, some stuff ain't protectable, baby. Condoms do break. Honey, you know, so there's other things that, that can happen. And absolutely, we're all human. We, we are all human. We, we all got something. We all have something that we, we struggle with. But when it comes to the whole cheating thing, the question was, why do men cheat? And my answer, Auntie's answer, is because they want to. You can list every excuse and reason in the book. And just like he can make it a, a decision not to cheat, he can make a decision to cheat. So to me, that, you know, it's that simple. It's not that deep. People make choices. Whatever choices you decide to make is what you decide to make. So we can't blame anything on anybody because in this letter she said he told her it wasn't anything that you did. So if it's not anything that she did He did what he wanted to do. He got caught up. Maybe, you know, because some of these women, you know, some of y'all, you know, ratchet chicks that, that, that are, um, glorifying it, glorifying the side chick movement, some of them, they don't care. They will come after your man like they don't see a ring on his finger. And no matter how much he tell them no, you got some venomous chicks out there. You got some women that see what he's doing for his wife that he— she will do whatever it takes to get that. And they just don't care. We live in a time where women do not care about being the other woman, and they will let you know. Yes, I'm another woman that I saw. I saw a video and it said, um, um, I love her husband, you know. And these women are walking around like that's the thing to do. But if you do it to them, I bet you they might— they gonna want to cut you if you do it to them. So you— we live in a time where Morals and standards have been lowered. Vows and commitment are pretty much, you know, you people say them, but they're vain. They just talking out the side of their necks, and it really doesn't mean anything. It's just something to say. Like I said, that's why I didn't understand athletes when they get married. If you're gonna get married and you— why, why get married if you want to sleep with multiple women? If you want to do what you want to do and you, you know you do not have any discipline at this point in your life, It sounds good to be married, but you going from city to city and these women, they coming tough. They— I mean, you know, they getting the liposuction done and getting their bodies right and doing exercise. Some of these women are getting in shape and getting theirs themselves together just so they can go after somebody else's man. That's their day-to-day job. I'm gonna snatch him because I want to get what I want to get out of him, and I want some purses, and I want, you know, a new Bentley, and I want— they're in it for the stuff. But that's a different type of woman. But there are women out there that do. And it doesn't— ladies, let me, let me explain something to you. It doesn't matter your man's occupation either. He could be the mailman, he could be, uh, the preacher, he could be the congressman, he could be the chef, he could be the truck driver. It doesn't matter. If a woman sees that there's some type of value in him and she know he with somebody else, she will come after him. That's just what it is now. But see, you know, when it comes to them, if it were them, like I said, they would not want that to happen to them. So the side chick movement need to be obsolete at this point. But I don't understand what causes women to be okay with being second best, be okay with being somebody's release portal. And when you have your, uh, your hard times that you're going through and, and you need some help, and it ain't even financial help but some emotional stuff, the fact the family is having some issues. Mama got cancer, you know, your son is acting up out in the street, and you ain't got nobody there to be that rock for you. But you— he there enough for you to— him to dump all of his, his stuff about what he got going on at the house on you, and you the cleanup woman. But are you really cleaning up anything, or are you actually making a bigger mess? Not just for him, but for you too, because it's only but so for so long that you can do that without getting attached. And so now He's, you know, thank you so much, I really appreciate you, you really a good woman. But why he going back over there? And his wife got the pension, she got the retirement, she got the, uh, what do you call, life insurance. She got him if anything goes down. I mean, emotionally, mentally, he's there. You're just something to do. I call them release portals. To me, side chicks are nothing more than release portals. You, you are there to be a man's release portal. You know, a friend of mine, he hates when I said— he's April, that You was using her to be your release portal, and in your mind you had yourself thinking that it was something different than it was because you didn't want to— you didn't want to accept that you was as ratchet as you were just by using her for your release portal because you knew you didn't want to be with her. I'm just saying, y'all got— y'all gotta be in here rolling over here, rolling with your comments. Yeah, but I'm just saying, it's really that simple. So, darling, your husband cheated. You have a decision to make. You can either stay and work it out, or you can make the decision to go. But I will say this, this is always my suggestion: if someone cheats on you and you decide to stay with them, you, my dear, have to make a choice to not continue to bring up the past. Yes, that person has to rebuild their trust, whether it was the man that cheated or the woman that cheated. Yes, you have to bring up— they have to rebuild the trust, but you have to make a conscious decision to not bring it up. Every single argument or anything that comes up, you have to make a choice not to bring it up. If you can do that, you may be able to repair. But if you know within yourself that, you know what, I can't— you— because women— fellas, let me, let me, let me explain the mental turmoil as women go through when you cheat. We think about everything that you have done with us. Do you do it with her too? So the, the visual of that is the mental turmoil that we deal with. You might say, hey, it was just sex, but for us, because we are the receivers and we're taking you in, and normally we are really emotionally attached to you, it's deeper for us than just sex. That's why most men that I know have told me, April, my wife cheated, I ain't taking her back, because they know women are emotional. And if she goes that far to have sex with somebody else she has an emotional connection with that dude. It's not just a physical thing where men can say it was just physical and go on and be about their business and don't think about the woman no more. We are emotional. So it's that emotional turmoil, that mental turmoil that we go through replaying what you have done in our mind, honey. So think before you step out. Do everything in your power to get counseling, to learn, you know, how the other person's love language, how to communicate. Do all of that. And if that doesn't work think twice about cheating. And how about just saying, you know what, this ain't working? But like I said, I know people that have been in marriages for years that have not been right. They might have felt like, I married the wrong person, or whatever. They got married fast and they didn't get the chance to really dig in deep to figure out who they