Here is why you get friend zoned!

YouTube, hello Facebook, and hello Instagram. It's April Mason here, your number one femininity and dating coach for the successful woman, and I guess the fellas too because you guys stay on my page as well too. So thank you, thank you, thank you so much. I'm trying to do dual things. I know some of y'all be like, wait a minute, she has not gone live. I don't think I've gone live all week. Let me see. I don't think I've gone live all week long. Um, for my Instagrammers, the name of this video is Here is why you continue to get friend-zoned, okay? This is why you continue to get friend-zoned. Hey, um, uh, YouTube, YouTube, y'all been rocking with me since 2008. I actually ran across my very first YouTube video I did in 2008, and it was me telling my story of overcoming sexual abuse. And y'all, I was looking at the video and it was green, you know, the lighting wasn't right, it was just bad. But that's just to let you know, it doesn't have to be perfect just start. So I have over, what, 10 years in the game? Over 10 years in the game, um, now going live and doing live Facebook— and I mean not Facebook, but live videos. Hi y'all over there on, um, uh, YouTube. So this is my first time actually going live live on YouTube, and you guys are actually chiming in. The last time I went live, I didn't have it on public, I had it on private, so nobody was in there with me, and I was in my feelings. So I know I didn't do a video this week, and I have been kind of quiet because I didn't feel good this week, you guys. And what I've learned is to take care of your body, you know, listen to your body. And my body was saying chillax. And, you know, you know, I had a little girl talk with y'all sometimes. Y'all know I had a hysterectomy a couple years ago, but I still go through the symptoms. So my body said, April, shut it down, shut it down. So I shut it down for 3 days, and today was my first day actually getting out the house. Of course, I had to go make my first appointment, was at the hair salon. Big shout out to my girl Sparkle over at Thrive Hair Studio in Jonesboro, Georgia. She always keep a girl together. So, uh, this is my first time going, and in the afternoon. But what I love about her is she gets you in and out. If she give you a 4 o'clock appointment, you in her chair no longer— no later than 4:05, maybe 4:10 possibly, but she gonna let you know. So big shout out to, uh, Sparkle over there at Thrive Hair Studio in Jonesboro, Georgia, for getting the girl right. Because tomorrow I gotta be, uh, I gotta be up early because if you're in the Atlanta area, and if you're not in the Atlanta area, you can still tune in. I'll be on KISS 104.1 FM, Atlanta's R&B station, tomorrow at 8 o'clock in the morning with Art Terrell, Zoo Man, uh, Miller, and it's a couple other folks over there I'll get acquainted with when I get there. So, hey, girl's just about to get her hair done, I'm just saying. So let's get right into what I wanted to talk to you about. It is this whole friend zone thing, you know, and it's so funny. Uh, we've been— in my opinion, this is just my opinion— we've been given wrong information about this whole relationship thing. And I see, um, why we do some of the goofy things that we do. Um, we always say that you've got to be friends first. If you heard you got to be friends first, say aye. Say I, or put a raise, put the hand, the hand on in the comment section. Let me know if you've ever, um, if you've ever heard— okay, Deja on, uh, YouTube said I. Yeah, say, say I. Have you, have you ever heard somebody say you have to be friends first? I had this conversation over at my VIP Academy briefly because, um, sidebar, our Teach Me How to Date VIP Academy is coming up on our very first 1-year anniversary, and it has not even been a year. In our— in our academy, we have 2 women that were engaged, one got married, and we have several relationships that's happened since the ladies been in the group. Yay! So we were— I was just over there talking to the ladies because we're having our first anniversary party here in Atlanta. We got the party bus and everything for the Teach Me How to Date VIP Academy. So we going to have a good time. And if you're not joined, if you haven't joined, join now because the rate will go up Uh, it was now $10 a week, but the rate goes up to $67 as of October 1st. So if you've never— if you haven't joined, go to Teach Me How to Date VIP Academy. If you join before October 1st, your rate will never go up. So I'm just wanting to throw that in there. So what made me do this video, that's why I brought it up, is because I was over in my VIP Academy and I'm doing a class, um, instead— our master class in September is called How to Use Your Vulnerability to Draw Him Closer. In our October, um, class is, uh, master class is entitled The Art of Seduction, how to build sexual chemistry without having sex. So we were taught, we started talking about, I started giving them a little bit of information about October's class. And you know, I find it funny, and a friend of mine, we've talked about this before. Hey Cynthia, I see you cousin. All right, here's the deal. If you've ever been told you should be friends first before you get into the relationship, that's the dumbest foolishness I've ever heard in my life. Think about it. How many male friends do you have that you would feel, eh, if they tried to kiss you, if they tried to sleep with you, if they grabbed your booty, if they said anything to you? Because you've made them your what? Your friend, right? Do you have a desire to be sexually active with your friend? No. Do you have the desire to be all warm and fuzzy with your friend? No. So when you start off trying to be somebody's friend off the rip, you're only fooling yourself. And you wonder why he goes over there and get another woman, is because you trying to be his friend. I just want to show him how good of a woman I am being friend. No, you should be here the vixen, not the friend, the asset woman. I'm just saying. So that's why a lot of you— I get a lot of my coaching clients will say, I keep— you know, these men, they friend zone me. It's because you aren't saying Your energy says, be my friend. That's what your energy is saying. I want to be your friend. And the straight craziest myth, in my opinion, is that you should be friends first. That's not what we want as women. We want to have a romantic interest in you, and you turn out to become our friend. But I'm not going to have— look at you and make you my friend and then turn, turn it and make it romantic. It's not like that. Even when a man meets initially, he's not meeting you to be your what? Your friend. That's not what he's meeting you for. He's not interested, you know, in anything else. He's not interested in being your friend. And then you wonder, what was it about her that made him choose her over me? Well, she didn't come into it trying to be his friend. And I had, I had a guy text me the other day He said, hey, I was just checking on you, my beautiful lady friend. Well, it was definitely a turn-off for me because you tried to kiss me a couple weeks back. And I was like, whoa, because see, you didn't come at me as romantic interest, you came at me trying to be my friend, and I put you over there. So don't try to use the back door of my friend being my friend and then try to make your move. No, you are now over there. You keep your friendship lips over to yourself. I'm not interested. So, um, with that, you know, you gotta ask yourself, do I want a relationship or do I want a friendship? And I tell men now, at, you know, where I'm at in my life, I don't, I don't have no positions open. I'm not taking no friendship applications. And what you say, YouTube? What you say, Instagram? What you say, Facebook? I'm just— yes, Joseph, women do that foolishness too. It's stupid. It's stupid. If you want a romantic relationship, why are you trying to go after people to make him a friend because they said you got to be friends first? No. If I am romantically interested in you or you're romantically interested in me, step to me like you are. Come with the real. And I hate when men do that. Well, I get men that try to come through friendship or they try to come through the business door. I would love to have a business meeting with you. Then all of a sudden it turns into So what kind of— I see on your, on your social media you buy flowers every week. What does me buying flowers have to do with you, your business? Somebody says, Miss, just got it. What is your shirt about, Miss Mason? Oh, actually, you know what it says? Pressure Apply. It just came in the mail. My daughter Adriana Mason started her t-shirt line and I was the first one to buy her shirt. I forgot I had it on. I was the first to buy her shirt and it came in the mail today. So I, um, I put the— put it on and I was just wearing it. So pressure applied is going to help me, you know, with my workout, you know. So that's what the shirt is about. Thank you, Misty, for asking, for reminding me. I got on my baby shirt. I'll post the link if you want, if you want a reminder, um, you know, yourself. Okay, Angela said, wow, so this is why I'm always put in the friend zone. Yep, because you don't show your girl that. You got to show your girl if you don't want to be put in the friend zone. If you want to be put in the friend zone, you go right ahead. But that's what we're talking about in the VIP Academy, how to stay up out of the friend zone. You got to get up out of there. And there's some, there's some specific things that are probably going to be challenging for you to do, but in order to get out of the friend zone and people always friend-zoning you, or you can't get a second date You gotta stop coming off as somebody friend. And then you ever see the movies, like the Lifetime movies? Um, what was the movie that I saw? Queen Latifah in Just Right, I think, the basketball movie. Um, and everybody wanted to make them her friend. Yeah, she said, I know, I know, I make a good friend, I make a good friend. Every guy friend-zoned her, right? But guess why they did it? Because she didn't show her girl. And so she would get upset because she wasn't getting any dates. But guess what? She wasn't showing her female, her femininity, her girl. It wasn't until she put on that dress and she got all sexy with it that he was like, oh, where the heck you come from? But if you don't want to be friend-zoned, be honest with yourself about what it is that you want. Stop the bull. Like, you know, I want— I'm gonna come in and I'm gonna show him that I'm different from every other woman. Um, you know, no, you are a woman and show your woman. That's what you do. That's what you do, YouTube. You show your woman, you show your girl. And fellas, it's the same thing with you. Stop trying to come in as— I'm gonna come in under the radar of her friend, or like for with me, come under the radar of I would love to do business with you, and then the next thing you know, you looking at me googly-eyed from across the table, and I'm sitting there ready to collect a check from you. I'm not looking at— I'm— can you sign this contract, baby boy? I'm not here for, uh, for this other stuff. If you wanted to come at me from a, um, romantic perspective, let it be, you know. Don't try to put it like this. Bottom line, it boils down to confidence, fellas. Boys like confidence. Women, we love confidence, okay? So if you see a woman just step to her and say, you know what, I've been watching you. I was watching you from, you know, at the grocery store, and the way you move, you just look like a woman that might be my speed. And the fact that you picked up an avocado says to me that you might know how to make a real good guacamole, and I would really like to taste it. And so I just wonder, and you know, if we can get to know each other better, maybe one day I can come to your place and you can come to mine and we can cook that— we can make that guacamole together. See how simple that was? It wasn't that simple. Yeah, I got a little game, but see how simple that was? Say what you mean and mean what you say. Ladies, stop all the 'I don't want him to think I'm desperate.' No, men want to feel wanted too. There's a difference between desperation and needy versus a woman that's showing genuine interest, you know. Chuck said that lie will never work, but I understand it might not work on you, but it works on every other man that I don't— I didn't use it on, okay? And then if it don't work, that means you probably don't have no sense of humor, and I'm gonna send your behind on your way anyway because that could— that'll be a turn off anyway. Jimmy says a good woman is hard to find these days. Well, Jimmy, the fact that you said a good woman is hard to find would suggest that you believe that they're not available, so you're never going to see them. So you have to change your vocabulary over there on YouTube to say, you know what, I desire a good woman and I know there's one specifically designed me. You have to know a thing is a thing before you— before it manifests into your life. So I'm just saying, you know, it might not work. It might not work if you don't know how to say it right, if you stuttering, if you ain't got no confidence with it. Then she was looking like, what the hell he want? What, what, what do you want? So, uh, but now back to you, Jimmy. If you don't believe there's any good men, good women out there, that would suggest that you need to relocate or you need to change some things about you so that you can attract a better woman. Because if all you're getting is the same kind, baby, and not good women, uh-uh. What if you have no game? It's not even about game, Islander. It's not even about game. It's not about game. It's being honest. I want to get to know this woman, find something on her. Okay, let me give y'all a little bit of my how I do it when I flirt. Let me— and I taught this in my Teach Me How to Flirt class. It's over in our Teach Me How to Date VIP Academy. But let me give y'all a little, ladies. A few things on how to flirt with a man and let him know you interested without coming off desperate. This is what I do. So I must be feeling better because I wasn't this excited all week. I'm feeling a little better. So this is what I do. I will see somebody— my radar, of course I'll check to see if he got a ring on, but now, nowadays, after what I went through, I got to remember that everybody don't wear— everybody don't wear no ring, okay? And so when you go in the store and you see somebody, I'm— I am the queen. My daughter laughs. I'm the queen of lowering my voice. And I taught a master class last year, how to talk to a man in a way— what did I call it? How to talk to a man in a way to something. I forgot, I forgot. But it was all about how to use your voice to talk to a man. Um, uh, thank you, Patricia. Denise, you should hang out with the VIPers. Yes, the VIPers are making it happen. So this is what I do. If I see somebody, um, and if he's looking at me and he— and I can tell, um, you know, he's interested and he don't know whatnot, because I'm the queen of giving you mixed signals. And sometimes I'll do that on purpose just because I already know, okay, I'm gonna ease on over here, you know. Um, so, uh, Denise said, I tried, it's a little too advanced for me. The VIP Academy is not too advanced for you. It's if you don't want to do the work. That's what that is. The VIP Academy— sidebar, I'm gonna give y'all my flirt— but the VIP Academy is not too advanced. We have women in there from, uh, in their 20s to their 60s. It's only too advanced for those that are not ready to do the work. All those that are ready to do the work, they're going out on dates, they have men calling them, they're— they're— they're— two done got engaged, one got married. We have several relationships that have happened. So if it's up to you, you know, it's up to you to decide if it's too advanced for you. What it's saying to me because I make it real basic. What it's saying to me is you're not ready to do the work. When you're ready to do the work, then, then you'll join us. But, uh, for those of you that didn't hear at the beginning of the video, the Teach Me How to Date VIP Academy goes up at the top of October. So if you join before October 1st, your rate will stay the $10 a week. If you don't join before October 1st, it will be $67 a month because we doing it over there in the VIP Academy. Um, so anywho, here it is. When I want to flirt with a guy, and I'm gonna make it real simple so y'all don't feel like y'all, oh my God, I'm being all extra. Okay, I'm being all extra. I will do one of two things. I'll ask for help, especially if I see him. I am— yes, and I walk over and I'll say, excuse me, sir, but your muscles look like they're— they are exactly what it is that I need. And I say it just like that, and I lower my voice just like that. Like, you think so? I'm like, well, you know, from what I saw from across the room, you know, and I feel like I need a little help with this water, this case of water, and you just look like the perfect man that could do that for me. And, or am I, am I, am I overthinking it? You know, am I— was I wrong? Oh no, no, no, you ain't wrong. I'm just saying, I'm just, I'm just saying, you know, I just thought your muscles looked like they were real strong. And then I'll touch them. Can't be afraid to touch, honey. Most men— here's the key— most men's number one love language is physical touch. I'm just saying. Um, followed by words of affirmation. I'm, I'm just saying. So that's one of the ways that I do it. Or, um, if I see they picked up something that I might be interested in, I'll say, you know what, I've seen that salad dressing before, but what do you think? Should I, should I use it? I mean, what's your thing? What's What do you think I should do with this? Or if somebody walks up to me and says, and says, um, excuse me, miss, but what's your name? And I'll say— my VIP Academy know about this one— I'll say, um, depends on who's asking. Oh, there you go, seducing spirit. That ain't no seducing spirit, that's being a woman. That's why you friend-zoned. It's not about seduction, it's about knowing how to talk to a man in a language that he understand. Don't come in here with the church stuff. Because you will get blocked. It's not about a seducing spirit. Men use their masculinity to attract us. We use our femininity to attract them. If you're trying to seduce someone, that's something totally different. But if you are using your God-given skills, you know, to— and what he gave you as a woman to use, that's what you use. Men use it on us all the time. Why do you think men always coming at us trying to show— they try to peacock us and show us, you know, that they can protect us and they can provide for us and that, you know, they have nice cars. Everything a man does pretty much is for a doggone woman. To get the best woman, he get his haircut, the line you got. I was dating somebody and I said, oh babe, I really love when you have your goatee. That joker grew that thing out and kept it even in this hot 90-degree heat here in Atlanta because it was to please me. So everything a man does is for a woman. He gets a better job because of a woman. He goes and gets a nice car so he can try to get the best woman. Why do you think the most unattractive men with a lot of stuff have the woman? Because he understands, he understands that a woman is naturally looking for a provider. We know that. Shane said that stuff don't work on me if I'm, if I'm If I'm interested, I know how to open my mouth. Just open your mouth, you know. And trust me, um, Shane, femininity works on any man. It's the kryptonite to any man. If you don't know, ask somebody. Start with asking your mom or your grandmom. I'm just saying, uh, femininity is the kryptonite to any man if it's used correctly, okay? So any man that say, well, ain't no woman gonna get me like that— it's not, it's not that she's trying to get you in any kind of way, because it's naturally what causes that, that, that attraction, that masculine to that feminine. So there's nothing, baby, that you can do about it. Okay, okay, okay. There's nothing that as a woman we could do about when we see that man. Okay, is this just me? When we see that dude— Joe got me saying honey like that because we, we heard a guy say something and he said, uh, give me that body. And ever since he said that, it's been stuck in my mind. But think about it, think about it. Have you ever seen the fellas working on the side of the road? Now, back home in California And for those of you that are in the Bay Area, your girl will be home for a few days in September. I'll let you know when, keep it posted. But, um, um, with that, uh, you ever see those guys that work on the side of the road and they have on them little— they have on their Tims, their work boots, you know, um, and they, they looking all good, you know? And we'd be like, we don't even care if they got some sense at that moment. It's like, oh, he is that just masculine, he's oozing masculinity. Um, Shane said, uh, I'm not Superman, fictional character, so kryptonite doesn't work on me. Well, Shane, I wouldn't fool with you no way because you got too much mouth and you don't know how to have fun. So as soon as you started all that with me, I'll chuck up the deuces. I holla. I like a man that know how to have fun and know— and he likes witty banter. If a man doesn't like witty banter, I'm, uh, yeah. I had to recently tell an investment banker who didn't get it, you know. He was getting— I'm like, why are you so deep? I'm just playing. But you— somebody say Shane is boring AF. Well, I'm just saying, you know, I would— if you give me all that, when that girl stuff don't work on me, it ain't even about the girl stuff. It's called, uh, witty banter. I love a man that can, that can go back and forth with witty banter because it brings out the attraction. It's like, okay, he can hang with me. Okay, I thought so. You trying to hang with me? And so I like that. But so Shane, as soon as you started that— oh, to the left, to the left, left. That's my left. Your left might be over there. I just can't do it. But, um, we like that. So no matter what anybody says, kingdoms have been torn down because of a woman. What is it, King, uh, what, Edward III of England? He had the opportunity to reign, but his wife, the one he was gonna marry, was an American woman. He gave up the kingdom for this woman. So you can't tell me that the feminine don't work on a man, because that's how God naturally made us. The Creator made us to where there's something that attracts the man and there's something that attracts the woman. So regardless of, you know, when a man says these women, they just won't go dig, they gold diggers, most of y'all ain't got no doggone gold. What we looking for is what's naturally in us, and that's to be naturally a provider. And just like y'all are naturally thinking about sex, we naturally thinking about, can this man provide? It's, it's, it's just what— how— it's just how we're wired, um, you know. And that's all. It's just, it's just how we are, um, how we're wired. Most of these women pretending about wanting a man, 85% of them, um, like being single. Um, okay, The Truth, how do you know? Do you know 85% of women? Have you met 85% of the women in the United States? Oh yeah, I'm just saying, that's like saying, you know, all, uh, 95, um, of men, you know, especially because you're a brother, 95% of brothers sell drugs, they don't take care of their kids. And you know, we know that's true. So that's maybe the 85% of that, you know. And so, uh, you, um, and Mr. Dickey said Ruth got a King Boaz. Oh, now let's, let's talk about that for my Bible thumpers. If you know anything about the story, y'all know I'm not religious. I don't— I'm not a Christian or anything like that. I'm spiritual. I mean, me and the Creator, we tight. Now check this out, even in the story, uh, you know, that everybody, y'all church folks, use as the story of getting a man, Ruth and Boaz, please understand Naomi showed her how to go snatch that dude. And technically Naomi told her, get him drunk, and once he get drunk after the party, because he had the good wine, ask that man to marry you. So it's been going on since way back, them Bible tales, the stories. It's, it's just what it is, and we keep trying to change and act like it's not what it is, and it is what it is. Femininity is the kryptonite to, um, masculinity and vice versa. After you Yeah, Esther got ready for him. Yeah, thank you, Tina. Ruth was told how to get him and was put on game. And see, if you want to get a little technical with it, um, if you know, if you read the story— do I need to say it in my church voice? Um, if you read the story, huh, about Ruth and Naomi, huh, what ended up happening was, huh, They was pretty much homeless and didn't have no food, huh? So what Naomi did was, huh, secured the bag for herself, huh? And she did it through her daughter-in-law. Why you playing, huh? Because you got to remember, if they was hungry and they had no food, huh, please understand this had to be done swiftly and quickly. So what she did was she secured the bag, not only for Ruth but also, baby, for herself, because she was what? A wise woman. I'm just saying. Now I need an offering, doggone it. Y'all be— y'all be— don't— y'all don't go deep into the passages. Uh, I'm gonna call the pastor on you. Well, you might as well call my ex-husband there because he was the pastor. I must be feeling good today, y'all. I was feeling real bad Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, and I feel it real bad. Uh, you know, yes, right, Perdale, go to PayPal and send it on through. I'm just saying. So I'm just saying, I'm just saying. So anywho, back to, you know, this whole friend zone thing. I mean, this, this is why you get friend zone. Main reason why you get friend zone is because you come into it trying to be someone's friends versus letting your intentions be known. I'm not trying to be your friend, girl. I'm not trying— I'm not trying to be your friend. I'm, I'm trying— I'm looking for something, you know, and my energy and my spirit connected with yours, and you just seem like, um, that you somebody that I want to get to know. Because all jokes aside, I know we joking and kikiing tonight because I'm feeling a little bit better But honestly, when your spirit connects with someone, when your energy connects with someone— well, I won't say energy because you can cut out, you can have great energy with everybody, but when your spirit connects, you will know. You— I mean, that's why there's a lot of— most of every one of my male friends said upon seeing her, I knew she was the one. They saw her, they had— they knew what it was that they were looking for in a wife, and something about Like, today's my friend Jack and Marshawn's 4th anniversary, and I asked Jack, did you know off the rip? He said, I knew off the rip. Something about her, without having to really talk to her, caught his attention. My friend Jack, uh, Joe, he was on a date with another woman, saw Dawn on the stage singing, told his boy, that's my wife. His spirit connected with her. So they've been married over 20 years, you know. Uh, my friend Tia and her husband, they met in 45 days and they've been married, what, 20-some years. So Although, like I said, we joking and kicking and whatnot, when your spirit connects, it's something totally different. And you're not going to come to somebody trying to be in the friend zone. I'm trying to be your friend. No, don't date me like you my friend, because I'm going to treat you like you are my friend. And don't be mad when I treat you like my friend. You can't try to be my friend and kiss me at the same time, because I don't kiss my friend. We ain't no kissing friendships. I have no desire to sit by the fireplace or go on a horsey, um, you know, carriage ride with none of my friends. So quit it, fellas, especially you. Stop the friend stuff, you know. Stop the friend stuff because we like men to step to us with confidence and step to us correctly. And if you don't, you're going to get friend-zoned. And also, fellas, this might be for y'all tonight. Let me give you this one: don't disqualify yourself before she says anything. Meaning, I'll meet— I meet men, and I've met men that'll say, um, you know, I love to get to know you. And I'll say, you know, and I'm always asked, you know, what makes you want to get to know me? Oh, I didn't mean to offend you, you know. If I offended you, my bad, you know. The fact that you said that, I'm not interested. Because it's like, oh no, this is why I want to get to know you. I never said I was offended. I just said, what makes you want to get to know me? So you gotta step with confidence and stop disqualifying yourself. I had a guy tell me, uh, a couple days ago, what we— I met him somewhere, I forgot where we were, and he was like, well, if I'm not your type. I'm like, dude, you didn't even give me a chance to respond. But because you said that, you're absolutely not my type. Because my type is confident and he gonna step to me and he's gonna like, he's gonna say, no, I, I want to get to know you because I was watching you and I, I've been watching you from across the way and, uh, yeah, I'm feeling your vibe. I like how you move. I, I, I like how— I like the thing about you. I like your energy. I like, I like what's your spirit. I can feel it from here. Be able to say that. What happens is when a woman actually give you a chance, you don't know what to do with it. That's the issue. So walk up to her with confidence. I had a guy tell me, tell me, you know, I would love to get to know you. Um, and I'm like, okay. He wasn't expecting me to say okay. Then it became, well, after, you know, looking at, you know, you and what you do and how you do all of this, that, and the third, you know, I'm out. You know, I don't think I'm on your level. As a matter of fact, I want to date. Remember the date I went on, you guys? And, um, I was doing my makeup on my date. I went to go see Boney James. Well, my date that night, yeah, we had went out before and I went out with again because I thought he was a pretty cool dude, you know, without again. But what made me never want to talk to him again is because he says on our date while we're sitting there watching Boney James, he says, well, you know, I've been thinking. I said, what you been thinking about? He said, I've been thinking that, you know, sometimes you got to be honest with where you are. And I'm like, okay. And he says, um, sometimes you, you know, the nerve of myself to try to date a woman out of my league. I said, what do you mean? He said, well, um, you, you're definitely out of my league. I said, what makes you out of my league? What makes me out of your league? He says, um, I could tell by the lifestyle you have. I could tell by what you drive, how you dress, the fact that you chose to come to Boney James and not this. I could just tell by how you, how you flow, how your movement. And I said, okay. And I said, so I'm out of your league, not thinking she's already went out with me before and I got to go out with her again. So I shouldn't even be having that conversation with her. I should not even be thinking that. And then immediately I was turned off because you looked at me to decide if you could afford me. Ladies, that's normally what it is. Yet our first date wasn't anything spectacular. I met you out and we just went and grabbed some— you grabbed some wings, I grabbed the salad. Wasn't even being big, but I'm like, okay, you know, this is interesting, you know, that you would say that. So then he tried to kiss me at the end of the day. I'm like, wait a minute, And he's like, I'm sorry, I would— I hope I didn't mess up trying to build a friendship with you. You don't want to build a friendship with me, you want to date me. But you didn't have enough confidence to just say, I know I'm out of her league, she's a different kind of woman, um, that, you know, I ain't used to, but I'm a stepdaughter, that's not my, uh, my kind of man. Uh, Jarvis said his money ain't right, but I didn't ask for his money to be right. A lot of men will shoot themselves in the foot before, before a woman has the opportunity to say, no, I'm not interested. I understand, and I'm fully aware, if I want a brother in America, that a lot of them will not make as much money as I do. I am definitely aware of that. I'm also aware that a lot of the majority will work an 8 to 5, and I don't. So I'm fully aware of that. However, I went out with you, I already knew where you was at, I already knew where you were at, but I'm fully aware of that. So if I choose to go out with you again, it should not be about money, you know. He said, April, do you think women should feel like a certain man are out of their reach? I don't think any man is out of my reach. Reach. It's all about your confidence level. I think that no man is out of my reach, uh, Tina. That, that is not my thing. I don't walk around— if my thing is, when I walk in a room, I, like Jay-Z says, I don't ask, you know, if they'll like me. I'll walk in and ask, will I like them? Because I had to rebuild my confidence and self-esteem because I was broken down. Um, and so now that I've rebuilt it, nobody's off my league. When I walk in a room, I walk in there like I own it. The atmosphere shifts when I walk in and it shifts when I leave because I know what I bring to the table as a woman. Not what I do, not how much money I make, not how much— what I drive, none of that. As a woman, just a woman, I know what I bring. So it's all about the confidence. So that's what I mean by friend-zoning yourself, because you're also— that's another way to do it. You're overthinking. You're overthinking. And my thing is, I can make more money than you, but at the end of the day, if Daddy bringing it— meaning, I can see, fellas, this is for you. This is for you tonight. This is for you. Y'all gonna need to send me a, uh, Cash App under Miss April Mason. Now, fellas, this is for you. This is for you. Here's the thing, a woman can make more money than you, but If you are confident— and a good friend of mine said it's no longer the alpha male, it's the alpha male X. I have to have him come on one day and explain that with me, um, to explain that to you guys. But if you make— if you bringing it, if she feels safe with you— think about this, and I'm not sure how much money he makes, I'm just assuming— Fantasia loves the hell out of her husband. She met him and they got married in 3 weeks. Now she's the star. He owns a courier service or something like that. But every time you see Fantasia with her husband, that's probably not doing or making as much money as she is. That's her king. She, you know, that's her, that's her lord. That's her, that's her boo thang. You can't tell me that, uh, Kendall don't make— run that house. You can't tell me that Kendall is not the head of the house. She just happened to have a job that requires her to be in the spotlight, but baby, she be waiting on him right at the end of her shows. And so it's that level of confidence that a man has to have when dealing with the woman that, um, makes more money than him or has more notoriety or more spotlight. It's all about you. It's— and I always tell you people and my clients, I— the first thing when they start working with me, it's Baby, you date on the level of your self-esteem, period. Orlando said, absolutely true. My girl makes way more money than I do. We have a great relationship. It's what it is. We have a lot of men with self-esteem issues. Ladies, get it together. But fellas, this— I guess this is geared toward you tonight. Get your self-esteem up. How you, you, how you view yourself will determine the type of women that you date. I often told the story about the man that I met, um, it was right after my birthday, so it was around June, uh, 22nd or so, 27th or something like that. I went to this concert, outdoor concert, and this man, he— I seen him, but then I seen him about an hour later and he came back and he had hurt himself. And I said, oh baby, what happened to your leg? He said, I was chasing this baby, I was chasing a 2-year-old. He walked away, but then he came back and he was shaking his head. I said, what's wrong? I know it's a little hot out here, but baby, what's wrong? He's like, I can't do this. And I said, what can't you do? He said, I'm— he said, I'm on a, um— he said, I'm on a date. I said, okay. And he said, um, and this date, um, she has a little girl. And he said, but I don't have no kids, my kids are growing up, or something like that. Either his kids were going— he didn't have— or he didn't have any kids, um. And so with that, I said— he said, I can't do this. I said, oh, you don't like her that much? He was like, well, you know, I'm dating her because I'm getting my life together. And immediately, you— y'all know what I heard. Y'all know what I heard. I said, I said, let me ask you something. You just told me that you're rebuilding your life. Is this the type of woman that you would pick and you would date if you had your ish together the way you said? If your money was right, if you had a nice place to live, if all your ish was together, would you dare pick her? He said no. I said leave her the hell alone because you're dating her based upon your level of self-esteem and you think that she's not above you and she's not requiring much of you. You can get her little nails done and she's okay with that. She's happy with her nails done. But yet if you try to date me and talk about, baby, you know, I'm about to get your nails done, it's like, oh, well, okay, I'm not— I'm not impressed by that. She's impressed. She's impressionable. You know, so if you wouldn't date her if you had your ish together, she would be beneath you. Why are you fooling with her now? He said, well, I didn't think I had anything to offer. I said, and I'm gonna tell you, I said, I'm gonna tell you like I tell my good friend, because he was the king of that. And I said, listen here, Mike, at the end of the day, your confidence will get you the woman that you want for this level and next level, okay? Okay, but it's your confidence that will pull her. It's not what you necessarily do not have. A, a woman will follow a broke man with a vision anywhere. Have you not been watching Love Is? Yaseer ain't got a pot to piss in or water to throw it out of, but he's sexy as all get out because he be letting Yuri— uh, Nuri have it. He'd be like, nah, no, this ain't what we doing. And I love how he, he just comes in and he's just like, regardless of what I don't have, baby, I'm a man and this is what we gonna do. And she be like, okay, that's what we do. But when you come into the table with no confidence and no money and no vision, hell, what we gonna do with that? What we gonna do with that? Just saying, if you know already that your stuff is not all the way where it needs to be, that should not deter you from meeting a woman. Meaning, this is what I mean, Yes, women want a man that can provide, fellas. Absolutely. That's what we do. We do want a man that can provide. So kill it with the gold digger stuff because most of y'all don't have no gold, you know, at all. We barely got health insurance. So we— that's not what we— that's not— we just want to make sure that you can provide. So with that, your level of how you can provide should not determine if you're not going to approach a woman that you see for your future, period. Or you determine, I'm going to at least make her my friend, because I have one tell me that. I'm going to, you know, you know, we can be friends. He wanted to be friends until he got his ish together, so he was trying to still have a way, a little way in there, but by being my friend, not realizing you just became my friend versus saying, you know what, I might not be able to take you to the fanciest restaurants that you used to. I might not be able to do this and do that. However, as a man, you know, this is what I can offer you. I can protect for you. I can protect you. I can make sure that you secure, you know, I can provide for you. You can, you can, we gonna, you gonna have a place to stay, a car to drive, and some gas, and then there's some food on the table, some clothes. That's all I could do for you right now. I can't, we can maybe might not be able to take a vacation like you do every doggone month. I've had a guy actually tell me that. So It's the way that you do it, fellas. So if you want to stop getting friend-zoned, step to us like a confident mask, uh, masculine, uh, what do you call it, he call it, um, alpha male ex, not pseudo-masculinity. Tina said, what courses do you have or suggest, uh, would you give a female, uh, to build her confidence? Go get my course, How to Become a High-Valued Classy Woman. Go to aprilmason.com, click on store. It's a PDF, it's an MP3, and it's a training video. It's only $47. Go download it right now and you can get your confidence on point. Start getting your confidence on point tonight. But it's How to Become a High-Valued Classy Woman, and being a high-value woman starts with confidence. Okay, so fellas, I wanted to say that to you because, um, this friend zoning thing, y'all, a lot of you complain about the friend zone, but you put yourself there. Either you approach her in a way that is saying, well, you know what, I just want to be her friend first, or you will sit back and you want to talk to her and be in her life romantically, but because of how you view yourself what you have and what you don't have. You come at her under the guise of let me be her friend, but then what she's going to do is like I do. I talk to you about the other men that I'm dating, and then you get mad. But you could have stepped to me with confidence. So now you get to hear about— oh, let me tell you about my date. Well, why you want to tell me about your date? Because that's what I talk to my friends about. Let me tell you what happened. 'April, I don't want to hear that.' Why not? Because you wanted to be my friend. I, I'm not taking you out of the friend zone because you put yourself there. I'm not going to rescue you. When you say— when a man says something like, um, 'Well, you know, I just want to get to know you, but if you're not open to it, hell, your ass didn't let me answer.' That is a pet peeve of mine. Got me cussing. It's a pet peeve of mine. It'd be like, 'I'm not interested.' So one of my friends was like, 'Well, April, maybe you have to give— make them feel more, um, reassured. Hell no. If you, if you can't step to me and say, look, I'm interested, I'd like to get to know you, maybe we can have dinner— if you can't say that, I will not remove you from the rejection pile. I'm not gonna do it. Don't ask me to do it. I had to tell my friends I'm not doing it. No and no, no. No, I don't do it because you shouldn't come in disqualifying yourself. Because that's how you start something to me tells me how you think. If you're going to automatically be sitting there automatically thinking that I'm going to reject you, or you reject yourself, that means I can't really do business with you because you're not going to be willing to take a risk. That means a whole lot of things, things for me, because I don't look at just what you say. I look at how you process information, and how you process based upon the answers that you give or the statements that you make tells me everything that I need to know. So that's how I— that's just me. If you say that, I want to get to know you, but if you ain't open to it, you know, Brother was just— okay, well, I ain't open to it now. Dang, you a meanie. No, I'm not mean. You put yourself over there and I just, I just agreed with you. That's it. I just agreed with you. I'm not— oh, well, you can't. I've had guys tell me, well, you know what, um, I would love to take you out, but you probably busy. I said, okay, you right. Oh dang, you— so you are busy. You assumed I was busy. So yeah, I am busy. You didn't say I would love to take you out, what day is good for you. You said I would love to take you out, but you probably one of them women that's always busy. Um, Yeah, because I'm not fixing to sit here and coach you. I'm not fixing to sit here and coddle you and make you feel comfortable with it. I'm just not. For those of you asking for— have questions, if you have an iPhone, go download the Magnify app. It's under— you can go to the— actually, the website is Magnify, M-A-G-N-I-F-I co.io. And you can call me directly— not tonight, um, I ain't taking no calls tonight— but you can call me directly, um, tomorrow after— well, after 10 o'clock, um, and we can chit-chat. So it's the Magnify app. M-A-G-I— M-A-G-I-N-I— no, let me make sure— N-A-G-I-F-I.co is the, um, is the website. And you can call me directly and we can talk about your issue and all that good stuff, um, tomorrow. Yeah, I get the one that assumed that I'm married too, um, all the time. And I've had guys say— I've been at an event, I was at a networking event, and a guy walks up to me, um, finally. They all— I was cute, y'all. I had on this yellow outfit and she was the bomb. All that yellow on this chocolate skin, y'all, I was the bomb, right? So I saw him all looking, but nobody said anything until closer to the end of the night. I pretty much sat by myself. Guy and I exchanged numbers. He called me the next day and he said, well, we— he said, me and my boys, I gotta say, you, you definitely were impressive when you walked in. Um, and I said, okay. And I said, well, nobody came over to speak. He said, well, honestly, we were talking about you at the bar, but, um, we thought that you were, um, we thought that you were married because you carry yourself like a married woman. And I'm like, but I didn't have a ring on. And he's like, yeah, I understand you didn't have a ring on, but the way you carry yourself is like you are a spoken for, uh, you know, taken care of woman, a kept woman. I'm like, oh. So I get that all the time. I, I get that, that one all the time. But that's, that's a good thing. That's how you manifest in what you want. That's all I'm saying, manifesting what you want. So let me make sure I give you guys this, this, um link right sidebar. I just bought a new— I just bought a new MacBook Pro. This thing is so difficult to use. I think I'm gonna go back to my HPs. Am I the only one? I'm just saying, I'm trying to do this over here. Let me see..io, I think that's it. So we can chit chat. And you can call me tomorrow. I think I don't have— I don't take calls on Sundays, but if you have an issue, yes, go to mmagnifi.io. Uh, Malari said keep the MacBook. I know, don't do it, MacBook. Well, I have a MacBook, I have a— and 3 HP laptops. So y'all, I'm just learning how to— I just bought this this MacBook, um, not even 2 weeks ago, and I, I, it been under my bed. It's too much. I need a tutorial. It's too much. Um, I just can't. I'm just, I'm sorry. It's just, I'm— there's certain things I'm used to doing. I'm used to, you know, having a screen, you know, you can scroll on the screen. My grandson be scrolling on my screen with his little fat finger. I'm just saying. Still can't work. That's okay, I'm not the only one. Somebody said I had mine for 5 years and still can't work it. Okay, because I'm just trying, I really am. But this is not the business, and so I've had it under the bed, but I need to learn how to use it to edit my videos and things. So anyway, it's the website, and I'll post it on the, um, I'll post it on YouTube, I'll post it on Facebook and Instagram. I think I have to post it, uh, right here so you guys can see it. M-A-G-I-N-I— is that it? N-I-F-I. Okay,.co. So if you want to call me and we talk about what you got going on in your life, we can do that. Okay, and oh, so that's all I have for you guys tonight. I was feeling better because I know I had not, um, I had not, uh, been live this week because your girl wasn't feeling well, and I'm feeling much better. And my grandson came over, and I'll be on grandma duty, uh, next week while my daughter going there. They go on their honeymoon. Um, so I'm here on— I'm gonna have a 10-month-old with me for 3 days. Pray for me. Somebody said you look so young but sound like somebody's grandma. I know, right? I know, I know. That's the wisdom kicking in, girl. The wisdom, uh, you know, uh, kicking in. Put that on IG. I'm gonna put it on IG. Thank you so much, Pernell. Um, let me make sure I wrote it right. M-A-G-I No, G-N-I-F-I. There we go. Dot. There we go. So yeah, I'm gonna go find something to see. I gotta see what I got. I'm gonna wear tomorrow because I have, um— make sure you guys tune in. I'm gonna see if I can go live from the radio station tomorrow on KISS 104. Point one. And then it's relationship talk, and I, I know what the question is. They told me what the question is already, honey. And so y'all gonna be very— it's gonna be very interesting. A lot of y'all ladies gonna get mad at my answer, okay? Barbara, you love my glasses. Oh, me, girlies, look, am I the only one? Now that I'm getting a little older, I have a bunch. I go to the dollar store and buy like 20 pair of dollar store glasses. See, this is what I'm saying. Killer of white supremacy and coons. You all this time you were talking, you were just saying, you know, I'm the alpha man that you need, this, that, and other. Then you're gonna say wear some thongs for you. See, my dude wouldn't say that, not, not right here on social media. So your true self is coming out, all that wonderful stuff that you said, and then you wear some thongs. See how you had to mess it up? Friend zone, boom. Friend zone. See, I see y'all know how to mess up a moment, but you don't— well, my, my, um, my ex used to say, kid's dad, he used to say when I was a mess— made the man— you know how to mess up a wet dream. Um, that is private. No, it ain't private, killer of white supremacy and coons, because you said it publicly. So because you said it publicly, over to the friend zone you go. See, you gotta— you have to learn how to talk to a lady. You know, you don't get to go directly from friend zone, you know, I mean, directly from first initial meeting to show me some thongs. You a pervert. Um, somebody said, hey, Brock, filled out the questionnaire on Facebook when you said about finding your purpose thing. Well, a lot of you did not get accepted into the group because you did not answer all 3 of the questions. If you did not answer all 3 of the questions to join the I'm an Asset Women's Network you are not, not, not accepted into the group, period. And because— and we do this because if I am willing to give all of this free content and free information, and we ask you to fill out 3 questions thoroughly— the only people that did not get accepted into the group, if you did not get accepted to watch the video, is because you did not fill out every question thoroughly. And if I'm gonna be giving my good stuff over in my private group you could at least answer the questions thoroughly. So if you don't— so we had about— we had quite a few women that did not get accepted into the group, and that's just how we run our group. And I think what we have to do is learn how to follow instructions all the way. And you can't say, I want your information, but you can't ask those questions. Somebody said, I saw my ex is in there, but I don't think she's paying attention. How you know? You don't know what she doing. You don't know what she doing, boy. You don't know what she doing. You might— you don't know what she doing. Well, that video was down. It was only good for, um, I left it up for a couple more days. It was called Discover Your Purpose Before You Attract Your Mate. If you didn't see the questions, Facebook sends you a notification in the inbox that says you have not filled out the questions. So on my end, it says still waiting for questions to be answered. So you got to go in there, um, you got to go in there and, and if you want to join the group, click to rejoin. But you got to fill out the questions, okay? And I got something special coming for the I'm an Asset Women's Network, and I can't wait to make the announcement. We made the announcement for the Teach Me How to Date VIP Academy. If you are not a part of it, go to teachmehowtodate.com. Um, someone said, April, if you could go back to your 20s, how would you— would you date differently? Oh, I can answer that. I'll answer that one real quick. A lot of people will say I wouldn't change anything about, you know, my life, or I wouldn't be here. Hell up the hell, I would. I wouldn't have had children early. I would have went to an HBCU, and I would have became a, uh, AKA. There's a lot of stuff that I would have done differently, but when it comes to dating What I would have done differently, and this is no, no joking, and gangs to the side, I would have understood my value and understood what I deserved. If I could do it all over again, that's what I would do. I would understand that because, um, for those of you that have never heard me say it, I've always attracted men that I thought I was not deserving of because either they were the captain of football team, baseball team, You know, my kid's father played football, you know, for Ohio, so he was all on TV, ESPN, all that. So I never felt like I was deserving enough, um, of those kind of men. But looking at my life, I've always attracted influential, powerful men, whether it's— I don't care if he was, he was the, the man at the post office, you know, he was always in a leadership position. Um, he was always someone of influence, of power, all of those things. I've always attracted them when I go all the way back to my, you know, my life, uh, from the very first boy that protected me, you know, in, in middle school, you know, all the girls loved it. He was like, oh my God, he's so fine, blah blah. He was that. Um, so I didn't think that I deserved that guy because I was once again valuing myself by my self-esteem and what I did not have. So because of that, I never thought that I was good enough. And so I've dated men that were just, just all just swooned and just, just love them some April Mason, from some of your favorite actors, some of your favorite R&B artists, some of your favorite gospel artists, some of your— I did a couple athletes, I talked to a couple of them. But what I would always do, I'm more politicians um, mega pastors. I, I would all— if you, if you see what I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm— the type of occupations they had, they were all men of power. And I just always attracted them, but I would always, um, shun it because I didn't think that I deserved to be with that man. I'm like, dang, I don't have a college degree and they have all these things. I don't have this. They don't— I don't even got no damn furniture in my house, you know, when I was younger. But, um, you know, they want to be with me. What do they want from me? All— maybe all I have— what they want, my body? I mean, because I don't really have anything to offer. But I told the story about one of my, um, guy friends that wanted to marry me when I was 25. He was a man of wisdom. I didn't see it then, but I definitely see it now. And he wanted to marry me at 25. Um, he had one of the top jazz stations in the country. He syndicated. He lived in the same neighborhood as the Dallas Cowboys and everything. And we met, and we met, matter of fact, on Black Voices back in the day. And I'll never forget, he was trying to marry me, trying to marry me, but trying to marry me when I was 25. But, um, I didn't understand what he saw in me. Well, fast forward to 2015, he inboxed me on Facebook and he said, hey sweetie, just wanted to tell you— no, he called me. He asked me for my number and he called me and he said, hey babe, I just wanted to let you know I've been watching you and the woman that you are today at 40. This was 3 years ago is the woman that I saw at 25. So although I didn't think I was good enough, he did, because he saw that there were some components that were already in me, the making of who I am right now. So he saw that. I did not see that in me. So because of that, what I did— and, and, um, since Tina, I think it was Tina that asked. Let me, let me go a little bit further. Um, one of the reasons people say, April, how do you know so much about femininity and womanhood and being girly? Because, because I did not have the education that I thought I needed to have for a, a, a certain type of man, I really embraced the feminine side of me, not realizing that was— that's what I was doing. So what ended up happening was I could go and get a man easy, the type of man that my friends wanted that didn't have any kids. Those men will be attracted to me. Because I understood that men did not choose women based upon their degree, how much money they had, and the fact that I didn't even have no furniture. It was because I didn't even know that I was a woman woman, and I had to overcompensate. And now that I see back— now that I look back, I overcompensated in an area. And I won't say overcompensated, I developed the feminine, the woman the flirt, the understanding how men think, talk, walk, understand what they wanted. So I never had a problem attracting men, even with 3 kids. All of them always wanted to marry and take care of me. I just didn't know until I got to— I was 39— to what it was really called and what I was— what I had been doing all of those years not knowing. So with that, you know, that, that's That's what I learned, um, you know, to do. See you later, Instagram. That's what I ended up learning, um, you know, to do because I didn't think that I had enough to offer. So to the person on YouTube that asked what would I do differently, I would understand that I was deserving. And what I, and what I do, what I did, um, what I did with my daughter is I let her know that she was enough off the rip. Because in the 8th grade there was a boy that she liked, and, um, he liked her, but he liked another girl too. He met another girl first. She came home all sad and she said, Mom, you know I like him, but he said he met another girl too. I said, you don't like him no more. I said, number one, if you are not a first-round draft pick, baby, you are not a part of the team. Understand that. And number two, you play second. To no one. From that day on, my daughter never had the same self-esteem issue that I used to have. And so I— it took me years of dismantling and the self-esteem and not deserving part. I put it like this: even when I start feeling like I understood that I was deserving of a good man, my money even changed, baby, because I now understood I deserve to live the kind of life that I want to live. And I do, and I'm excited about it. I was able to take off for 3 days because I didn't feel good and didn't miss a beat. Nothing was late, nothing wasn't paid. And it's because that whole dynamic of understanding what you deserve is all a part of you understanding, you know, who you are. Somebody said, April, do you have a pole in your bedroom? No, it's at your mama house, baby. Um, anywho, she borrowed it. Uh, as I was, as I was saying That me, me deserving a good man opened the door to me deserving to live better. It is, um, deserving to have better, deserving to put it like this, in my businesses— I own like 4— deserving of a successful business. All of that is deserving. So, and once I understood that I am that and I can have it, and I started— my good friend Joel, we were talking about 3 years ago He said, Mase, look at the type of men that you've always attracted. And he started just naming them. He said, look at all— look at— he said, look at all of what they do. Look at all what type of men they are. And I was like, that's interesting. But I never would fool with none of them because I didn't think that I was deserving. Fabulous, would you say? Love my comeback. You like my comeback? See, that's how you gotta— you have to have those witty comebacks even when you flirting though. So, um, I don't know what MGTOW means. I don't, I don't know what that, what that is. So with that, it's about what I deserve. So Tina, I think that was you that asked me the question, what would I do differently? I hate when people say I wouldn't do nothing different if I, I wouldn't be who I am today. No, I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say, um, say that. I, there's some things that I would have done I would have went to college. Um, I probably would have been, um, a psychologist because I, I think I would have been, uh, I think I would have been good, um, at that. Um, I also wanted to be a— my mama talked me out of it, y'all. I was gonna be— but my 5'4 self, I was about to be a police officer. And then, um, I wanted to be a bounty hunter. Y'all don't ask me why. But I wanted to be a bounty hunter because I wanted to kick down the door in my stilettos. I thought that'd have been so sexy. And I also wanted to own a bakery. I think out of all of those, I probably will open the bakery. Um, Monique said it's not too late for college. It's too late for me because if the goal to go to college is to make the money, I already do that. So I don't feel like at this point, I don't feel like I've lost anything. And I make probably more money than a lot of psychologists. Do. So now that we have the life coaching space, would I pay $150,000 to go back to school to help people like I do now, to be in debt to maybe make $150,000, which I'm already doing? No. That— if the, if the goal is to make the money, because that's what we're taught, go to school, get a degree to make the money. But if I'm making more than the psychologists and therapists that I know by helping people with my life experience and as a life and dating coach. If the goal was the money, I'm making the money already. I don't need no debt. I only— I don't need— I don't need no debt. I know too many therapists and psychologists that don't even make nowhere near as much money as I do by just giving and helping to people, um, and, and being a blessing and telling my life story. So I don't believe that I need a degree or to go into debt to just— now, if I was a person that was concerned about accomplishments, then, then that, yeah, I would do that. But because I'm not, I'm not concerned about accomplishments, um, I'm concerned about making sure I leave a legacy for my family. I'm not going to go to school and get in debt when I already make more money than most of the psychologists and therapists that I know. That, uh-uh, no. That, that— and I think there's always more ways to learn, and college just wasn't for me. But if back then, if I would have— you know, because you got to remember, I didn't know all of this stuff back then that I know now. So the question was, if I was in my 20s, what would I do? I would have probably been in college. I would have been a Delta— I mean, I'm sorry, AKA. My daughter, she wants to be a Delta. Probably would have been an AKA, um, And, um, with that, I would have gone to school probably either to be— honestly, if I wouldn't have went to college, it would have been to be a psychologist. I would have been— I would have been an amazing lawyer because I hear what you don't say. And I would— I would have been a prosecuting attorney. That's what I would have been. Um, and so with that, I would have done one of those two things. And I also would love, love to be, um, a social worker. So, um, yeah, but that was then. Now I have enough sense not to go in debt, not to go in debt trying to go to school to learn all this stuff. And then everybody, majority of everybody I know got a bunch of student loans and they're not even operating in their degree. I believe that you need degrees for certain things. You can't be a doctor and be doctoring on me and you don't, you know, and fix it on me, don't have that. Uh, but, um, with that, uh, there's certain things I don't believe you actually need a degree to have. You know, my son, we're talking about him going to a trade school now because he's like, Ma, I don't want to go on no debt. And I said, I don't want you to go on no debt, um, as well either. What do you want to do? And let's find a way to take care of that without having to take out student loans so you can just enhance your God-given gift and skills. Let's figure what that thing is out. So, um, that's just me. You know, if I was 20 Um, that's what I would do. Somebody said, do you recommend dating multiple at once? Go join the Teach Me How to Date VIP Academy. I have a video all on that. It's teachmehowtodate.com. If you're not in the group, as of October 1st, the cost goes up to $67. Okay, $67 right now is just $10 a week, so it's gonna go up. So I have a, a group full of all kind of master classes all about that. So, um, let's see. I hear you, Monique. I'm finally finishing my degree after being out of high school. Okay. Um, so yeah, if that's for you, that's for you. But the person that asked me would I change anything, um, you know, with my dating and my life in my 20s, I wouldn't have had kids early. I would have went to college. I would have been an AKA. And I would have um, understood. But the biggest thing is I would have believed and understood that I deserve. That's what I— that's what I would do. Mr. Swags asked me, well, how do you operate from feminine energy? I don't— I don't know how to teach a man to do that. I only know how to teach a woman not to do that. Um, you know, so I, I don't know how to tell you that. Um, if I'm not on Facebook, can I still join? Yes, you can still join. However, we will be changing over our platform in the month of September. Um, our, our technical department is working on that now. And, um, so we will be changing over to Teach Me How to Date VIP Academy. So we'll have a community on Facebook, but all of these stuff on Facebook, as far as the videos, the workbooks, the PDFs, the handsout, all of that will be in our site that is not connected to to Facebook, so you can join. However, right now, as of today, you will need to be on Facebook to log in. Um, K. Williams said, how do you— how did you come to realization that you deserved it? Good question, good question. Well, to be honest with you, and I speak— I say this all the time, look at your results. And, um, I know we're talking about friend zone, but I'm answering a couple questions tonight. Look— oh, I gotta hurry up because it's only have 20% left. So look at the results of your life right now. Do you like what you have? Do you like where you are? I understood that the choices that I made, regardless of the 12 years of molestation, the domestic violence, the rape, the being homeless, that all of that stuff— gotta remember, normally when a person has low self-esteem and no confidence and feel like they aren't deserving There's some things that happened prior to them that stamped that or embedded that mindset, um, in them. So when that happened to me, that's what caused it. At the age of 5, I dealt with molestation from 5 to, um, till I was 17 years old. So that's what I knew. And it's something that happens to you when you're molested that's stripped away from you as a child. And my mother said I, all of a sudden, I became a dark child, but nobody knew what was going on, you know. So with that, I had to dismantle— I— and here's the thing, it, first of all, it has to be a choice. First and foremost, I start looking at my life, I start taking inventory, and I said, I'm tired of meeting this, the same look. Although I would attract this one kind of man, I would go after the other one because I didn't feel like I deserved him. But him over here, I felt like I was smarter than. But yet I wanted what that one— the masculinity, the security, the protector, the provider, the leader over here. I just didn't feel like I deserved it. So I end up going over here and marrying somebody that was opposite of what I wanted because I thought this, um, was safe because I'm smarter than him, I'm more business savvy than him, I make more money than him. See how twisted that was? But at the same time, I still wasn't happy over here with these kind of men. So I had to ask myself, what is it that you want in your life? How do you want your life to look? I asked the same thing in my business— I mean, my personal life as I did in my business. How much money do you want to make every month, April? What kind of lifestyle do you want to live? What do you want your life to look like? So to answer the person that asked me, how did I figure out what I deserve? I asked myself, why have I not felt like I didn't deserve it? What caused me to feel like I didn't deserve to have a good man in my life? What caused me to think that I had to live poor, live in lack, and that my businesses could not be successful? What gave me that process, you know? What gave me that? And what I felt— and for me, and this is just how I was raised, for me it was religion that gave me that, that I had to suffer. I had to go it out, you know. God eventually is going to bless you, not that everything is already here and I have to take my tail over there and get it. I had to become the woman that I needed to be to get what it is that I'm supposed to have. So a lot of you aren't getting anything because you refuse them to become the person that is required of you to be to get the result. I said, what do I need to do? And that's when I told you guys I took an 18-month hiatus, you know, when I was in my late 30s, 38, 39 years old. I took a hiatus. I was like, wait a minute, although I'm over here teaching and doing all this stuff and everything that I'm saying is good, it's working for people, there's something that's stopping me. And I think it's Rumi that has a quote that says it's not about finding love. You're not supposed to go find love. It's about you finding out the barriers that's keeping you from love, you know. So I had to figure out what my barriers was. So once I figured out what my barriers was and I start asking questions of why I believe what I believe— why do I believe that you got to start from the bottom, you know— and I was telling my, my group, um, um, the other day, I think it was one of my groups I was talking to, and I was telling them, look, I have a client that started out coaching, and she was trained by me, and she had never done it before. She did her very first event and made $250,000 on her very first event. Did she have to start from the bottom just because she was getting into the coaching space? No, she didn't, because she was smart enough to hire me first and foremost to help her. So I shaved off years of failures and issues that she didn't have to deal with. So she walked into it knowing that she was deserving, and she didn't have to start out at $150 an hour or $950 an hour or giving away her stuff for free. So once I understood what my barriers was at that point, I said, I need to break these barriers because these barriers got me this result. So if you want to know what you deserve, look at what you do not have now. What you have now is an indicator of what you believe that you deserve. And I was like, wait a minute, April, you're an amazing woman. You're caring, you're loving, you're feminine, you know how to talk to a man, you, you're very loving and catering. I'm the catering guy, y'all. I like, I like to cater to my honey. You hungry? I'm the type where I have your dinner ready when you get home because I'm just wired like that. You know, I'm, I'm very, um, like I said, kind and caring and, and spiritual. And I'm, you know, I definitely pray with you and all that. I'm very supportive. All— I'm, I'm that woman. So if I'm her and that's the her that was trying to come out, what is the barrier that was keeping her in? I had to figure out what my, my things were. You know, I had to figure out, you know, okay, April, you want to be this woman. You are— I'm— regardless of what you guys see of me in business, I'm a very domesticated, uh, yes, I'm a gender roleist. Yes, I believe the man is the head of the house. And yes, I believe that it should be my option to go out and go to work, um, because the man should be able to take care of the household. Doesn't mean I won't do anything, but it just means that it's an option. But because I see Daddy can handle it, I'm gonna kick in if I need to. And if Daddy hit hard times, baby, don't worry about it, I had a couple million dollars in the bank. Because, you know, just in case. You thought Mama was just sitting here looking crazy? You thought Mama was just sitting here and wasn't doing nothing? I figured, you know, we need a day, you know, that something's gonna happen. But, uh, and then go get my debit card. It's a debit card in the box to the left on the side, on top of the hat box, at the bottom of that. And go get the debit card, hit the PIN number, go ahead and get that money. Hi there, because Mama did that. So I understood that about me. Here's the thing to the person on YouTube that asked Here's the thing. I realized— here's one of my barriers. I realized one of my barriers was I saw my mother be vulnerable and open up that side of herself to my stepfather, and he dogged her out. So I would suppress that caring, loving, kind— you know, I'm the type that you can go, babe, what happened today? Come lay your head in my lap. Laugh. And you can tell me all about it. I'm the house— gonna all my friends laugh and say, your house always smell like candles, it's always gonna be nice and neat, you're gonna always have something to eat. That's just how I'm wired. And I love to please, I love to serve. That's what it is. So I had to figure that out. And I realized my mother used to do that with my stepfather, and he took advantage of it. So I went extremely hardcore, not realizing— April, you are hardcore. And my nickname was mean and evil. And you know this, hey, they used to talk bad about me because of that. But the whole time I'm struggling to suppress who I really am because I don't want to happen to me what happened to my mom. But while I was trying to suppress it so much, I ended up marrying a man just like my stepfather because I was afraid that I would. And whatever you think about is what you bring about, which is why I ended up in divorce, because I should have never been with that man in the first place. So Once you start realizing your barriers to love, you'll start understanding more and more what you deserve. And when you start understanding what you deserve, you start changing how you think. You start changing how you think. Wait a minute, who told me I had to drive a hoopty? Who told me I had to live where I could afford Why can't I afford to live where I want to live? Because I chose not to either get an education, or I chose not to go start a successful business. I did that. So I— it's pretty much I'm taking what I'm given. I didn't want to take what I was given no more, baby, and I didn't want to accept what I've been accepting. Just because somebody come your way, that doesn't mean you've got to accept them. So that's what I did. I think it was Tina, um, that asked me the question, how did I do it? I started changing, and I— well, I looked at where I was and what I had and where I was at and decided this ain't good enough for Mason, honey. This ain't good enough for Mason, honey. I don't want— no, I didn't want to go to the car lot so they could tell me what I could have. No. How many— if you've ever had bad credit in the past or currently and you want a new car, and you would go get a car and they would take you to the other lot. And I'll never forget, um, several years ago I saw this one car on the lot and I wanted it. It was cute. I wanted it. I forgot what it was, but I wanted it. After they ran my credit at the time, they was like, I know, Miss Mason, you got to go to the $5,000 or less lot. What you mean? So because I needed a car, I had to what? Take it. Well, this time when I went to the car lot a few months back, I knew what I wanted. No, I want this. This is what I want to pay for it. Yes, that in the third. And I got what I wanted. But I looked at, you know, here's, here's the difference between the mindset shift. I bought a BMW. My friend bought, um, a Camry, I think. Now mind you, My BMW cost less than her Camry because I negotiated it, right? But she could have had the same thing, a luxury car like I have, but her mindset was, let me get something that I can just drive. Am I making sense? We want— both wanted cars, but she didn't even think she thought getting a BMW or Mercedes was out of her league. I said, no, I found it at the dealership online. I'm coming down there tomorrow around my paperwork. This is what I want. But yet her car costs more than mine, and it's not a luxury car, whereas mine is a luxury car because I believe that's what I wanted, so, and that's what I deserve, so that's what I'm going to go and get. That's how it all works. Once you start realizing— and that's the difference, the difference in the mindset. I don't look at what— I look at how can I afford it, you know. You go for what you want. And I got tired, and I've worked smart throughout the years, and I had not bought a car since I took what was given to me several years ago. I have not had a car note or anything since then. But when I said when I want to go do something else, when I want another car, I went and got what I wanted the way I wanted it. I'm just saying. Uh, Tresser, if you— can you get an email? I don't answer emails like that, but if you would like to talk to me about your situation, you can go to the Magnify app, N-A-G-N-I-F-I dot I-O, and you can call me directly, okay? So anywho, that was just to answer the questions. You know, the way you, you change what you do, you change your mind about what you deserve when, uh, you look at what you don't have and you then you stop talking about other people and what they have, why they need all that. Because they can have it, because they understand they can't have it. Everybody don't need to have all that, yet that's what they want. So they, they, if they can afford it, they can have it. So stop talking about people and why they going and spending $5,000 and $10,000 popping bottles at the club. That's because they can— they have money to do that. They should give it to the homeless. No, they do what they want to do with their money, and you don't know if they are giving money to the homeless. That's because when you are in a broke mindset, you can't see how somebody can take $50,000 and do something with it. Like, I was on the phone with, you know, doing a business deal in California, and I was like, well, so what do you think the investment— when we do this next year, what do you think an investment gonna be? He's like, oh, about $100,000. $100,000 ain't no money to me no more because I understand what I deserve. When you understand what you deserve and you understand money is nothing— matter of fact, when I go home to California, I gotta go look at this house. Friend of mine, he's a realtor and he know I need motivated. I saw a $30 million mansion and we gonna walk through that bad boy. I said, oh, $30 million, April, ain't nothing but money, you got it. And so my friends, we think like that. We think money is nothing. But a tool used to get what you need to get and to be a blessing to other people. I'm just saying. The Magnify app is Magnify, M-A-G-N-I-F-I-O. Let me make sure I'm giving you that right. It's Magnify, like you spread a magnifying glass, just with the, uh, without a Y. But what I is what it is. Magnify, M-A-G-N-I-F-I dot I-O. And I'll make sure I post the link in the comment sections on both. Okay, so you know, you're changing your mindset, changing your mindset about it all, honey. I can call you on there? Yep, you can call me on there and I will answer directly tomorrow though. Because I think my last call was at 6 o'clock Eastern Standard Time. But you can call me tomorrow. I will be available tomorrow after, um, after 10 o'clock. I think I have it set to 10 o'clock, and we can chit-chat. We can talk about your issue. We can decide if you would be good for one of our VIP academies, or if we need to do some one-on-one coaching, or if you just want to talk because you have a quick question and you want to know, hey, what should I do in this situation? Okay, so love you guys. I feel better, I feel better, I feel better. I was, I was feeling bad. I didn't know if I was getting sick, um, or what, um, this week, but I was feeling bad. So I was like, uh-uh, I gotta get back to my family right here. I gotta get back to my folks. Okay, so as a recap to the video about friend zone, don't put yourself in a friend zone. If you want to step to someone and get to know them, do it from that place. Okay, that's it. Do I believe in law of attraction? I live by the law of attraction. I live by the law of receptivity. So, and I taught that in my course. If you don't have my course, um, Manifest— How to Create the Life, uh, Magnify— Magnify— How to Create— I forgot the name of my course. Got so many of them. It's at store.abramason.com. It's called Magnify, how to change the way that you think in order to create the love life and abundance that you want. So go get that if you really want to know how I think and how I'm able to— I was able to go from $50 from a welfare check, living in a, um, shelter with my kids, and started a business with $50 from a welfare check to the woman that I am today. Get the Magnify. I give— I mean, uh, Manifest. I give you Everything in that step-by-step. Right now we're just kind of talking. In there I put it all together, um, step by step. Do this, do this, do this, and watch what happened. I promise you, one of the things that happened when I learned how to manifest is I swore I had superpower, and I explained that to you in there. It's a book, uh, ebook, a workbook, an MP3, and a video. Um, training. I think it's over an hour long. So what I'll do is, um, Miss Vega, I will post the link to the app. It's for iPhone users. If you don't have an iPhone, I will, I will put the information on, um, on there as well on how to connect with me. Okay, uh, please list that course in the comments. I definitely will list that course. It's called Magnify— I keep saying Magnify— it's called Manifest: How to Change the Way That You Think in Order to Create the Love Life and Abundance That You desire. And it's a full course, it's over an hour long, but I promise you, you ask anybody in the comment section that have listened to it, that have invested in it, they'll let you know about that. Okay, you can go to aprilmason.com and go to the store. If you don't have an iPhone, I will put, put in the description section in, um, YouTube and in the comment section on Facebook how you connect with me. Okay, love y'all. Let me go eat my salad and go find out what I'm wearing to the radio station in the morning. All right, bye-bye.