April Mason argues that chemistry and physical attraction matter as much as kindness in a relationship. She draws on personal experience and a quote from friend Rodney Perry to warn against settling for someone good on paper but who doesn't excite you. Lacking that spark isn't a failure, she says, it's a reason to keep looking.
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Greetings, it's April Mason here once again on April Mason TV. Listen, I'm on the deck again. You know, as I told you guys all the time, I come to here to meditate and, you know, free my mind before my day early in the morning. But what I didn't tell you is I have a fear of heights. And yesterday, when I did yesterday's video, I was a little further back. But today, you know, sister's making some progress. I'm a little closer to the water. See, I don't know if you can see, you can see my my shadow. But I want to go hang gliding and I want to go, I want to parachute. But I can't do that if I'm scared of heights. So this is my way of helping myself to overcome my challenge of heights. But today I want to talk to you for a quick minute about something that I feel like is becoming more and more of an epidemic and it's making people feel really, really bad. And I believe that is just wrong. I hear a lot of people talking about, um, how they meet someone, they're a great person, they have some of the things that they're looking for, they're great quality of person, good person, it's all around balanced or whatnot. But the issue is there's no chemistry and there's no attraction. I have to speak first. Hand on this because I've experienced this and it's not a great feeling where you have someone that adores the ground that you walk on, everything about you, will go to the ends of the earth for you, but there's no attraction or chemistry there. Forget what you heard, chemistry and attraction are very, very important. When you start talking about I'm looking for my wife and I'm ready to get married and what my husband— and the things that you want, be specific. Make sure when you pray, you make sure you tell God, Lord, please let me be attracted to this individual and have chemistry. I've met a plethora of great guys, but there's no chemistry and there's no attraction. And what happens is they'll adore me, and I'm sure they'll adore you, but they'll get the wife or husband that they wanted, but you won't get the wife or husband you wanted. So don't feel bad. I know they talk about the 80/20 rule and I'm sorry, if attraction and, um, chemistry is in the 20%, that 20% will override that 80% because there's just certain things, um, a man and a woman is supposed to have. And there you have those people that you can hang out in the mall with, you can, you can talk to, you can even possibly even sit up all night watching movies with them. But as soon as they try something, it's like, uh, I want to throw up. Been there. Done that. So I don't want you to feel bad because you may have met someone that, um, overall everyone seems— says that they're a good person, you see that they're a good person, but there's something stopping you from taking it to that next place. And that thing may be chemistry and attraction. Don't feel bad. I also don't want you to settle for this individual because they adore everything about you and they treat you well, thinking that you won't meet someone that you're attracted to and have chemistry with that won't adore you and treat you well too. So I'm just saying, don't feel bad. No, I'm not saying you just turn everyone away, don't give anyone a chance. But if there's— this person annoys you and just disgusts you when it comes to romance, you might as well go ahead and keep it moving because it would— you— it wouldn't be fair to them and it definitely wouldn't be fair to yourself. So don't feel bad. I know what we've heard, you know, long as they love God, they got a little something going on, you know, they're good heart. Why not? No, we never talk about chemistry and attraction. Those are so important. We make it seem like those things are things that are taboo and we're supposed to overlook. I'm sorry, whoever God sends to me, he has to be fine. I need to be able to look over at my husband on the other side of the room and be like, yeah, that right there, that's mine. And we have to have that. Even I— one of my good friends, Rodney Perry from The Monique Show, we were doing a radio show together. If one thing he said Well, if you can make love, you can make up when you're married. But if you don't have that chemistry and that attraction, if you— you've made— you can't make up and you can't make love, you just might be doomed a little bit. So I want you to understand that it's not you, it's not the fact— I don't want you to overanalyze everything. If the attraction and chemistry isn't there, it just isn't there. And New Edition said it the best. <LYRICS>Sorry, you're not my kind of girl.</LYRICS> No, I'm not a singer, but that song right there, he said, it's not your looks, you're very pretty. It's not your style, the way you dress. It's not the way you carry yourself. He said the chemistry just isn't there. So it doesn't make that person a bad person. It's just not the person for you. So if you need to make yourself really understand that and stop beating yourself up, just throw that New Edition on and start doing it, you know. <LYRICS>It's not your look, you're very pretty.</LYRICS> Ooh, this is April Mason and I'm out.
