Independent Women and Marcus Blacks Comment!

Well, good morning, darlings. This is April Mason here, your number one femininity and dating coach for the successful woman and the fellas too, because you guys live on this page and we love you for being here. And I thank you so much for your support and for sharing my videos. Well, I've been getting so many people tagging me in Marcus Black and what he had to say about independent women, wanting to know, Miss April, what do you feel about Marcus Black and what he had to say? So I watched the video. I said, okay, let me see what Marcus is talking about. And he talks about— he said women— men don't want an extremely independent woman. So then someone tagged me in a response that another lady gave calling him a cornball. What man does not want a 100% independent woman and all this stuff? So I'm looking at the comments. It was actually in the Shade Room's comments, and all of these women are, I know that's right. I know that's right. You know what, man don't want a woman to be independent. Just because I'm independent, it don't mean— you see how I'm doing my neck and stuff? You see, you see how you transform into that? Because that's the energy that, that, that those words and those statements come with, right? So I'm listening at it and I could just feel it through what was being written. So y'all been asking, so I decided, all right, April, you know, go ahead and give your thoughts on what Marcus Black said. And here's the deal, if you guys don't know who Marcus Black is, he is on Love Hip Hop Hollywood. Here's my response to that. Marcus Black is absolutely correct. Okay, let's start right there. He's absolutely correct because see, this is what happens. Women will always say no one ever comes to their rescue. I'm always the strongest friend. No one ever checks on me to see if I'm doing okay because they think I always have it together. There's a reason for that. It's because you scream how independent and strong that you are. So you can't expect people to want to come to your rescue all the time when you are proclaiming, you are making a declaration, you are standing there with your chest out screaming how independent and strong you are. It's almost like you want someone to come and rescue you from your own verbal devices. I want you to show me that I don't have to be independent. But here's where the problem comes in, ladies. If you are not used to allowing someone to help you, what makes you think that when a great guy— that is, I'm not saying he's perfect— but when a, when a man comes into your life that knows how to lead What makes you think you're going to allow him to do that? If you have not been practicing allowing someone to help you, you will not be able to handle a man that knows how to lead because you're not working that muscle. I had this conversation in the barbershop yesterday with the fellas. It goes the same way. I said, I'm listening to all of you fellas talk about the type of woman that you want, but I'm also listening at your backstory of the women that you're accustomed to dealing with. I said, you could never date a woman like me because I don't give you the psychological drama that you're accustomed to. So you can say, I want a woman that has my back, I want a woman that is, you know, drama-free and stress-free, she's my peace, she's all of these things. But if you are not accustomed to dealing with a drama-free woman, a woman that's gonna go through your phone, a woman that's not gonna bust windows out your car, a woman that's not going to emasculate you and tell you you ain't ish and all of this— if you're not used to that, when you do meet her and try to date her, because she does not give that to you, one of two things are going to happen. Either you're going to get bored with her because she doesn't have all of those issues, because she's an asset woman, as my shirt says, and she's done her work. So you're going to get bored with her, or you're going to subconsciously, on a psychological level, create issues that are not there to get her to respond in the way that you're accustomed to. So you can't say, I want a woman like this, when you have not been working the muscle, number one, and doing your work, and number two, being able to identify a diamond. You're used to cubic zirconias. So cubic zirconias are, are equipped to take that basic that you've been given. It's the same thing with you ladies. You, when you've been used to dealing with men that, uh, you have not allowed to step into your life and lead, you're going to always claim that I'm a strong independent woman, but I can need you too. You're not accustomed to needing someone. That's why you are the friend, my dear, that everyone comes to that feels like you're strong. That's why when you need somebody in your life to come and rescue you and you sit there like, oh my God, I don't— I just, I just need somebody to help, nobody ever comes because you are self-proclaimed strong and independent. So if what— for the women that took what Marcus Black had to say as a negative, you, my dear, need a little wisdom. And don't my shirt say wisdom? You know, she wise, you know. So what I teach my audience and the ladies that I mentor to say is to say, instead of saying I'm strong, say I'm resilient. Instead of saying that I'm independent, say I'm interdependent, because what you say is what you will attract. So if no one is ever coming to your rescue, it's because of the words that you continue to say. I'm independent. And the girl called him a cornball. And what man don't want an independent woman? And, um, 100% independent woman, he should want that. No, he does not, because when you are 100% independent and you're not used to allowing anyone to help you when you do meet Mr. Right, what's going to happen? He— people always say this, and I don't believe this: what's meant for you is for you. No, what's meant for you is for you if you wise enough to pick it up. Please understand, God does not waste his best, his good, on somebody that cannot identify it. He's not going to waste his diamonds on someone that's only used to dealing with cubic zirconia. Now, the diamond will be presented to you. It's up to you to make a choice to mature and get to the place that you need to be in order to pick that diamond up. So Marcus Black once again was 100% right. Yes, it was the video on Marcus, the Marcus Black video. It's, um, on his Facebook page, Instagram page, and it's on The Shade Room. The Shade Room, someone posted a, um, they posted a response to it. And so y'all been inboxing me since last week about this. Miss April, what you got to say? These women out here doing it. What you got to say? So I said, well, let me respond, uh, to this because I think so many women are— missed his point. And also, fellas, here, here's the flip side: be a man that we can depend on, okay? Be a man that we can depend on. So ladies, even if a man is not someone— the one you chose cannot be depended on, it doesn't mean that you step out of your position as being a resilient and interdependent woman. Let me say that again. Just because a man or the men that you have been encountering have not shown you that they could step up, just because they're out of line, that doesn't mean you get out of line. In my book, Are You an Asset? I talked— I have a chapter called Independent. And one of the things that I said in that is when a single father is raising his children by himself, he never says, I'm mom and dad. Only we do that. He stays in his position, although the position of the mother may be out of pocket. She, you know, she might be a deadbeat mom, or she might be deceased, or he might be divorced, or whatever the case may be. He never steps out of his rightful position of being daddy, being father. So just because, ladies, a man may not have stepped up, that doesn't mean we have to get out of position of being feminine, of being spiritual, resilient, wise, classy, interdependent, resourceful, and sensual. We are responsible for holding our place on this earth because we birth things and we can shift atmosphere. But you can't shift atmosphere back into the feminine, which we, we are truly missing. If you are getting out of position, going more over to the masculine, it doesn't work like that. So then once again, you sit back in a position wondering why nobody ever comes to your rescue. It's because, darling, you have proclaimed and you have that energy and that spirit of independence and that energy and spirit of I am strong all on you. But then you get— you, you know, when you're by yourself, you know, in the wee hours of the night, or something goes on, like, don't nobody ever check on me, you know. Everybody think I'm so strong all the time. They need to— you know, I see a post circulating around, so I'll text, call, check on your strong friends. How about it's okay to, to be vulnerable and let people know that you're not okay? How about that? How about making a choice to say, you know what, Let me wise up so I can pick better people in my life, okay, that I can be vulnerable with, that I can depend on. The other day I got— last week I got some really, you know, bad news, and I just told my friends about it. I text them and told them about it a couple days ago. Each one of them picked up the phone and called me. I made a choice to not be the strong friend, okay. I made a choice, and in my text I said, this is my way of letting you know what's going on so that I don't have to deal with this by myself. And my friends all stepped to the plate, okay? So you can't be upset when people do not come to your rescue, or people do not really think of you, or to wonder what you're doing, when you have programmed them to believe that you're strong and independent. You're going to be the lowest on the totem pole when it comes to them checking on you. Ladies, have you ever felt like you got all your stuff together and then a man never comes to your rescue, but a girl over here act like the damsel in distress? She don't have the education you got, the car you drive, the money you have, she don't look as good as you, but they swarmed to her rescue. It's because she understand the importance of being interdependent. She understands the power of being a damsel in distress. Doesn't mean you have to downplay and dumb down. Please understand, don't think I'm saying sweet is supposed to equal weak, and being feminine, you know, is supposed to mean that you are a doormat, you know, or being nice means you got to be naive. Absolutely not. But if you're not getting the result that you want in your life, not just in dealing with a man or any other area, it would suggest that you are the common denominator in the mix, okay? It's you. So this whole independent thing, it's ruining us, especially in the Black community. Ladies, we have beat our bodies down trying to prove that we are Superwoman and that we can do it all. Honey, my wrists are broke, especially when I'm out with a man. Oh, I can't do nothing, honey. There's nothing that I can do. And I, I allow them to enjoy catering to me, and I reciprocate it once I find out the way that he needs me to reciprocate. Because some will say, well, what is the woman gonna do? It all depends on the man. Every man doesn't need a woman to reciprocate paying 50/50. Sometimes he just needs her feminine energy to be sitting right next to him on the— oh, you know, in the car. And so just he can suck up that energy, okay? So you have to decide if you want the same results. I'm sick of these fools because I'm— as I'm looking at the Shade Room's post, all these women, and they got these thousands and thousands of likes on this foolishness. And that's right, you men got to step up. But guess what? Even if a man did step up, because you have not been functioning in the space of allowing a man to be— be inter— to be interdependent with a man, you wouldn't know what to do with him if he showed up. You would give him a whole bunch of pushback. You would give him a whole bunch of mouth. You would give him a whole bunch of extra ish that he did not sign up for, because one minute out of one side of your neck you saying, I want a man that can lead, but because you have not been accustomed to that, you don't know how to— know how to allow them. So I'll get— before I go, because it's raining out here in the A today, um, I'll give you some ways that I teach my clients. And where my VIP Academy ladies at? They already know. I'll give you a couple ways that you can start practicing on letting a man help you so you can change that energy of I'm independent and everybody looking at you as strong. Okay, y'all ready? Do y'all want me to give you a couple ways that you can do that? If you want me to give you a couple ways, say me. Just say me, me, me, me. Just say me. I'm gonna see if I can see that on here because I don't want to just give you what you're doing wrong without giving a solution. If you're not used to letting a man lead Do not petition and say, I want a man that can lead, if you don't know how to handle him. Fellas, if you, if you're not used to dealing with a drama-free woman that doesn't give you all of the other stuff, and even though you say that's what you want, but look at your background, look at all of the women that you've dated in the past. Those women have programmed you to psychologically and subconsciously want a woman that's going to give you that type of dynamic. It's time to get out of that dysfunction. All right, ladies, here we go. Okay, here y'all, y'all got the me's. Okay, here it is. Number 1, when you're out at the store— and I've said this before— when you're out at the store, ask a man for help. Number 1, ask a man for help, meaning you have to be so in tune with you that you realize that you off balance. I have 2 phones, and when I'm going through some stuff and I need to make some adjustments, I program my phone to remind me of how to get back in line. Oh, hey, oh, hey, get back in alignment, get it back in alignment, get back. We paid, but this phone is a $1,000 phone. I got two of them. We gonna be using them for something, honey, other than talking to people on the phone. So program yourself to remind you. Give, put an affirmation in there. That's number 2. Put affirmation in your phone to go off at 6, 7, 8, 10 times a day to remind you, I am a soft and gentle woman and I am open and welcoming to a man that I can be interdependent with. I'm resilient. Say that. Number 3, when you are at the gas station or if a man around asks you for some help, say yes. When I'm at the gas station and a man says, can he pump my gas, even if it's a bum on the street, I say yes and I give him a couple dollars. Why? Because that is what helped me be able to accept help from a man. And the only reason I can say and talk to you guys like this, ladies, like this is because I used to be you. Until I stopped liking the results that I was getting in my dating life. I'm like, wait a minute, part of the girl in me was pulling on, I want somebody to come rescue me, I want somebody to come take care of me and make sure I'm taken care of, I want somebody to— I'm doing all this, right? But yet in the daytime, I got on my Superwoman, my, you know, cape, I got my S on my chest, okay? So it was like an oxymoron. One minute, the real me, the feminine me, The essence of the woman me was crying out for some help, but I put the mask on in the other areas of my life. So I had to intentionally make a decision to say, how am I going to get used to a man helping me when I don't— I'm not used to it? Even that's how I— that's how I ended up in— one of the reasons why I ended up in divorce, because he said, you act like you can do everything. And I'm like, shoot, I got things to do, and this and the third. Don't make the same mistake that I made, ladies. You can be assertive. I'm, I'm a very powerful and, and assertive businesswoman, but guess what? I even take my femininity with me when I go to the table to close deals. I don't have to try to close deals in the same manner as a man does. A lot of what has happened, why these women feel like they got to be, uh, stand toe-to-toe with a man in corporate America is because they feel like they got to come in the same manner. And the problem is the masculine balances out the feminine. So you can't be mad when you talking to a man like you a dude and he talk back to you like you a dude, then you want to get in your feelings. No, either be a woman or be a man. What is it going to be? What's going to be? You can't be mad. Oh, how you going to just talk to a woman like that? Well, why you getting aggressive with him like a man? In his mind it's like, oh, she coming to me like I'm a dude, well I'mma come back at her like a dude. He ain't thinking about you being a woman. You know why? Because you have not postured yourself like a woman. Feminine women, we don't debate, we converse, okay? Two totally different things. So when you watching television, you watching all these masculine women and you wondering why they're not getting the results that they want to get, is because they don't understand that you can be assertive and stand your ground but be feminine all at the same time. Okay, that's what we missing. That, that's what our country is missing. We have too many women trying to be in the masculine world, not understanding your power is in your femininity. We could get so much more done if we were in our femininity and we understood the balance of it. Once again, sweet doesn't equal weak, and being feminine does not mean that you are a doormat. It means you understand the God-given power that you have. To make things happen. So those are the things. Ask for help when you're at the store. Like what I do here, here's one of my things. When I'm at the store, I'll say, excuse me, sir. My daughter hates when I change my voice. I'm like, you look— matter of fact, I was in Walmart 2 days ago and I couldn't get the carts loose. And I saw a man walk up, older gentleman, and I said, excuse me. I said, you look like you got the muscles that I need. He said, I do? I said, yes, I can't get this I can't get this cart loose. And I wasn't lying. It's just I said it in a feminine way that ignited his masculinity, that ignited him to want to jump to what? Rescue me. And I said, I just— I said, you look like you got the muscles. He had to be probably about in his 70s. And he said, I think I got the muscles. And I said, all right, well, let me see what you got, Dad. Let me see what you got. And he got it loose. I said, thank you so much. I really appreciate you. He said, anytime, little lady. And Not only was his day made, but I got my card. So when someone would say that's manipulation, it's not manipulation, it's understanding the gift that God gave women to use to communicate with a man. I do not talk to men in the same manner that I talk to my friends because that mean I would be talking to another female. I understand how to talk to men, and you need to learn that too. If you're still trying to talk to them like they're your girls, or when you get mad you go off like, you know, he's some joker on the street you need a little help in that area, honey. You— if you talk— once again, if you're talking to your man the same, or the men in your life the same way, no. You are a woman who should be proclaiming that she is resilient and interdependent. And here's the thing, wisdom is key. I've been teaching you guys that. If you guys are new to me, mwah, thank you for being on here. But Go back and watch a lot of my videos. I got about 200 videos on here, and I talk about the importance of wisdom. You see, being cute— I'll take being wise, have— having wisdom over being cute. I'll take having wisdom over having a nice body. I'll take wisdom over having a degree, okay? When somebody says shake your money maker, shake your head, baby, okay? You got to understand that wisdom and that spirituality coupled with that femininity and sensuality, honey, when you understand that You stop all of this foolishness. I'm independent. And I know there's going to be women that watch this that does not— that do not know how to comprehend that I'm not saying that just because that men have gotten out of position, I'm not in control of them. I'm in control of me. So just because a man gets out of position, it doesn't mean you leave your post. You don't do that. That's when you stand your ground as a feminine woman. And guess what? Heterosexual men that want a woman, they will conform if we all are banding together saying, I am resilient, I'm interdependent, I'm wise. If we all are doing that, they're gonna have to come correct. No, it's not our job to change a man, but guess what a man will— a man will change for? A woman. Let's not act like we don't know a thing when we know a thing. I taught you this before as well. For those of you new to me may not know this, but I've taught it before. I said men have mastered what to do to attract us, but we buck the system on what to use to attract them. And being interdependent is one of those things. They've mastered it. That's why we like them, especially if they got the feminine— I mean, the masculine energy going. You know, they protectors, they providers. They look like stay well put together. That's why the man with the nice car drives around his nice car. Please understand, everything a man does, he does to get us. The nice car, the haircut, the cologne, and all of that, that's for us. But what we do is, no, he got to accept me as I am. You got to accept me. I'm a woman that I can do X, Y, and absolutely you can do whatever the hell you choose to do. But guess what? Don't be mad when you keep trying to give a cat dog food and wondering why the hell it's not taking it. Women, we have gotten out of position. We have gotten so out of position. We don't understand our healing power. We don't understand the wisdom that we are supposed to have. We don't understand the feminine essence and feminine energy. We don't understand that we are the creators of life. We carry life. If your life does not— is not full with life and you are always going through some ish all the time, it's because you, darling, do not understand your power and the life that you carry. So that's all I have to say. I got to get out of here, y'all, but I wanted to share that. And for all of you that inboxed me that video. Thank you so much, because I had not seen it. Um, and I believe Marcus Black is absolutely correct. And matter of fact, tag him in this, tag him in this video, tag The Shade Room too, because this is Miss April's response. A grown, seasoned woman, wise, mature woman that understand the male-female dynamic. And ladies, if more of us understood the male-female dynamic, we wouldn't be screaming about our independence and how much we are trying to prove that we don't need men. And you, you know, you, you wouldn't be going to bed all sad all the time, you know. You wouldn't be wondering, when is somebody gonna come see about me? When is somebody gonna step in and be my own superhero and be my own personal Superman? When is somebody going to step in and be my rock? When is somebody going to step in and be my support system? Hmm. Somebody said, April, I am married, but I use your tools in my marriage, and you are 100%. Keep spreading the word. Thank you so much, Norma. You know, we want somebody that's going to be, um, all right. Somebody making a delivery to my house. Oh no, is that my house? Oh, we got deliveries. Y'all, Amazon live at my house. But yeah, that's what we want, ladies. We want someone that's going to be there for us, okay? But my, my message is start preparing yourself for what it is that you say you want. You can't be mad when men don't come to your rescue, or even your friends, your family, or you got that sibling that your mama always go to they rescue but never come to yours. Oh well, you my strong child. That's because of what you've been displaying. I'm not saying you have to be wussy and just, oh, you know, down in the dumps and got to be— no, no, no, no, you don't have to be that. But you can show vulnerability. And I taught my ladies in the Teach Me How to Date VIP Academy levels of vulnerability. There's levels to vulnerability. A lot of you think being vulnerable, you got to tell everything. No, you don't have to tell everything, but people do want to know that they're needed in your life. But if you keep screaming that, well, in one way, I don't want no 100%— no 100% independent woman. No man want 100% independent woman, because if she's 100% independent, she hasn't been practicing needing anything for anyone. She has— she's been self-contained. And when you're self-contained like that, can you really receive what you're not accustomed to having. It all sounds good, like we will be like, yeah, when I went— well, when, when that man step up, when he step up, then I'll be, uh, independent. No, I mean interdependent. Nope, you gotta see it and be acting as, as if before it comes into your life. That's on every other area. If you want a new car, you got to act as though you already got a new car, even when you own the bus, even when you got the car that you got to stop every every quarter of a mile and put some coolant in it. You have to act as though. So if you're not acting as though you have a man in your life that is, um, there for you, that you can be interdependent with, that you can rest in, that you can have peace with, that can be your support system— if you're not acting like that every single day, I promise you, you gonna be bumping heads when you meet him, and it's going to take a very patient man to deal with you. Okay, he's gonna have to be patient, and his patience is gonna run out. Because here's the thing about asset people: we will stay around as long as we know you're making strides to be developing and becoming better. As soon as we realize you're gonna keep bucking the system on all of this wonderfulness that we have to give, we have no problem walking away. We are the queens and kings of chucking up the deuces. This. So don't be mad and use the old cliché, what God has for me is for me. No, hell to the no to the no, no, no. What God has for you is for you if you're wise enough to pick it up, okay? Same thing goes for the fellas. You can't say you want a peaceful woman without drama and all of this stuff if all of your past relationships and baggage are filled with women that gave you drama. You need to take some time to yourself and figure out why do I need this type of this friction in order for me to believe that somebody like me. Because asset people, we not fixin' to sit there and do that. We not fixin' to sit there and, and keep giving you this, uh, these psychological things. We don't sit around and say, well, I'm trying to show you, I'm trying to show you. No, as soon as you show us that you're not open to receiving something better and making a shift, we out of there. We do not waste our time. We will take the time to show you, but if you're not reciprocating or you're not receiving it, oh no, baby, no. We— yes, we are super quick to leave when you have come into a higher level of thinking, higher level of growth, and you've done your work. When you meet someone you that is not on your level with that, but you see that they are open and have the potential to— they want to grow— you stay in there. You say, okay, let me see. But the moment that they keep reverting back way too many, one too many times, you would be the fool to stay in that. Because elevated people in their spirituality, in their self-worth, in their value, and they've gone through hell and back and they didn't put in the work, we don't have time for it. For, for like that. We will show you, we will be there, all of that. But the moment you keep trying to throw stuff at us to where it's like, I'm going to give you— I got to create some psychological drama because they need that in order to function, we hightail it on up out of there because you ain't ready yet. So I'm saying, ladies, get ready so you don't have to even put a man through that, to have to be patient with you in that particular area. Because that's something that you can work on right now. Fellas, it's the same thing. Do your work so that you don't have to deal with— a woman don't have to deal with you creating stuff and self-sabotaging relationships because of what you're not accustomed to. Do the work now, okay? Love y'all, have a great day.