It's ok to love again

Hey darlings, happy Sunday! If you're watching the replay, I am waiting on my Facebook audience to be notified so you can fast forward. Hey darling! Oh, y'all coming in? Okay, I see, I see. Hey Mr. Lil Jon, are you feeling? Are you feeling? Oh, you guys are sharing this already. You must think it's gonna be good. You must think it's gonna be good. Well, I'm in the car. It's date night. I'm headed out on a date, but the weather got really crazy. It looked like a tornado or something. The sky is really dark, so I had to cancel— well, getting ready to cancel my date. I told him, give me a few minutes and I'll let him know, because he said he didn't want mama driving out there, you know, out there in the streets like that. So I may have to postpone, but As I was sitting here before I got out of the car, because it's raining, I wanted to, um, chat with you since I can't get out the car because this is— look, I don't sat up under the dryer today, y'all, and put my hair under the dryer, so I don't want to get it wet. But anyway, listen, um, it's okay to love again, and this is why I say that. The only reason why you're not loving again is because it's a choice that you're making. Would they make him drive in the rain? No, no, no, this is, this is, this is— we ain't got to that stage where we can— he could, he could just come to the house yet. You gotta, you, you gotta be all right with just taking yourself and we'll meet there, okay? You being able to pick me up from the house, Darius, is a privilege. So he ain't got there yet. It's a privilege to come pick up Miss Mason from the house, baby. So I have no problem with driving. But anywho, as I was saying, it's okay to love again, and the only reason why you're not loving, um, again is because you're choosing to. I was having a conversation with a friend yesterday, um, and he was telling me some things that happened to him when he was younger, and every time a certain thing come up like a holiday comes up, he gets upset and it pisses him off because he thinks about what happened when he was younger. And I said, darling, you're choosing not to celebrate. You're choosing to, to remember those times. That's what you're choosing to do. I said, so you can't hold anybody else responsible for something that you're choosing to hold on to. So it brought me to loving again. So many people are afraid to love. And one of the things that I've learned about love, that I really love about love— actually, one of the things I loved, um, being married was being in a— being in a marriage, being in a— at the time when I, you know, before it got ugly, being in a healthy relationship at the— when it's healthy can make you the best person that you ever thought you could be. As well as there's so much stuff that so many of us are trying to do by ourselves. I'm trying to get my coins, I'm trying to be about my life. That's what the women say. And the men are, you know what, I programmed myself to where, you know, I'm busy, I don't have time for this because it's best for me to stay busy because I got things I gotta handle in my life and what— and you know, I gotta make things together. So it's better for me to cut out a relationship and just grind as hard as I can. Now what's funny is this, um, I date. You guys know that I date. And, um, it's, it's so cute to me. And I just be like, oh, ain't that so cute? Like when I go— when I'm invited over for dinner, we got to the point where I'll go over for dinner or they'll invite me over for, you know, watch a movie or whatever, right? I can walk in the house house and see, and that there's no feminine energy in the house anywhere. Now mind you, they might have other women that they may be dating, because I date, um, I'm not exclusive with anyone just yet, but that, that's not a problem for me, you know. I have to— I don't push for, push for exclusivity until I know that you are what I'm looking for and you carry what it is that I need. So I'm not one of those women that say, oh, if he dating other people, I can't date him. No, because it's— I'm only collecting data. You know. And to me, collecting data means you go out. Normally when you meet people, especially men, 9 times out of 10 they got somebody. And if you like him, you know, all you gonna do is come up in there and get in his head, and then the other one's gonna just dissipate anyway. So I'm not concerned. I'm never concerned about the next woman. So when I walk in, it's like, oh, it's so— that's so sweet, that's so sweet. Um, there is that, you know, He's grinding it out. He's making it happen. He's doing his thing, but there's no feminine energy in the house whatsoever. Like I said, maybe, you know, if he's dating other people that he might be doing whatever with or hang out with, they're not a permanent fixture. Because if there's a permanent fixture of a woman in a man's home, it'll be feminine energy all over the place. At least if it was my man's house, it would be some feminine energy all over the place. And what I mean by that is, it's not even anything like leaving clothes or anything like that. It ain't, it ain't that. It's, it's a, it's a, it's an energy in the house that you can feel there's a permanent woman that's there. So I'll go in and then we'll sit and talk and, and have dinner, and they be telling me about the grind and everything that they got going on. And, and to me, it's, it's so cute because I can appreciate the hustle and the grind. But what they don't understand is if you had a woman, a wise woman in your life that grind that you're doing so hard and that, that heart that you're trying to cover, you could get to where you need to go a lot faster because we were created to help each other. So one of my main reasons, um, for getting back into the dating game and deciding that I wanted to be in a relationship again is because I understand the importance of how we make each other better. You know, we make each other better. But everybody's grinding it out. Your body is tired. You are stressed out. You're not getting enough sleep. You're not getting enough rest because you're trying to do it on your own. But at the same time, you're saying, God, I need, you know, give me some more opportunity. And God might be telling you, go get you a wife. He might be putting people in your path, the very help that you need. And I'm not saying that you get with people just to help out. You know, some people are looking for a help, a hand up. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about a purpose mate, not just a playmate. Two totally different things. And when you connect with someone and you give them the opportunity to get to know the real you, you can realize that, wait a minute, the very thing that I'm trying to accomplish, this person carries those missing pieces. And the very thing that he's trying to accomplish, he might say, wait a minute, I've been trying to do this on my own, and she came in here with her girl magic, that feminine magic, and she just made it happen just like that. Now, if you ain't understand that, why wouldn't you open up yourself to love again? Like, why would you not— why would you not do that? And so I had to take a check in the mirror and say, April, wait a minute, your man is going to be somebody that's going to come in, and whatever it is that you're doing, he's going to complement your purpose, and you're going to complement his purpose as well. And I I was able to identify that early on because every man that I've dated seriously, um, I haven't had that many relationships in my life, but anyone that got that close to me, their, their life was, was totally changed because I was in it. I get calls on a regular basis from exes saying, you know what, I made a mistake, or I wasn't ready at the time, or I might have married the wrong woman. I mean, like, everything I'm trying to do, you know, I, I, I'm trying to do this, but I can't seem to get it done. I said, because, baby, you married someone that you could hire someone to replace what she does for you. See, you were supposed to marry a woman that could touch your soul, your purpose. She could take you to a next level. But you got caught up in— she could cook, she could clean, you know, she could, she could do little domesticated stuff. And that's cute. I think all women should have some domesticated uh, nis nis nis about them. But when you connect with someone basically, uh, strictly on those purposes, that means baby girl can be replaced. That means you could hire somebody to cook for you, you could hire somebody to clean for you, you can hire somebody to have sex with you if that's what you want, but you can't hire nobody to connect with your soul and your purpose and your spirit. So now you looking back over at Miss Mason because she knew how to do that, but it's too late because Miss Mason done moved on. So now you trying to find a replacement or try to make her into something that she isn't. So you gotta understand, when you connect with somebody that's good for your soul, your purpose, it's a totally different thing. But if y'all— if you just want the big button to smile. You want the woman that can, you know, she could cook a nice little cake and all of those things. You want the brother that, you know, he look good, he drive a nice car, he got a good job, but he cannot connect with your purpose. He cannot take you to another place, baby. You just wasted your time. You just wasted your time. Thank you, Lisa, you like my hair? Girl, I did it myself today. I did it myself. I washed it and conditioned it and set it up under the dryer, girl. I had a date, so you know, you ladies, uh, okay, here's, here's something for the ladies. Dating, um, 101. When you have a date, for you, always make your— it's something about— it's your scent. Make sure your hair and everything is together. So I'll teach that at another time when the fellas ain't around, okay? Make sure you go join my group, I'm an Asset Women's Network, and we'll be talking about that a little bit more. But yeah, this— you got, you gotta— you have to leave your aura all up and through there. I'm just saying. So, um, Robert said it's rare for a woman to be able to touch your soul and spirit. No, it's not rare. It's about you using wisdom and look for that, and that woman from your spirit place, not from just an eye place. See, we get so caught up in the look. We get so caught up in, you know, um, uh, can we— do we like all of the same things? See, you got to remember, sometimes opposites attract. And what you're missing they have, and what they have, um, you need, and vice versa. So we got to start giving people a little bit more chance. Now I know, you know, my friends, they say, April, my male friends, you'll be sending these jokers to the guillotine quick. And I can do that because I know who I am at my core, and I ask specific questions in my own April Mason girly kind of way, and I'll know the answers that I need to decide if I want to go out with you again. So if I decide to go out with you again, it means that you've intrigued me enough, and certain questions that you asked, answered without you even realizing that you've answered them for me, makes me say, okay, yeah, yeah, he, he might, he might deserve, you know, to just to sit in my presence for a second time. So with that, you— it's not rare. It's, it's, it's only rare when you're not operating from spirit. That's only when it's rare, because we're spirit beings in a fleshly body. So you should be operating from your spirit in order to attract what you need. So it's, it's very— we've been made to believe that everything is about— like, like when I had, um, Titus on, we talked about paper marriages. Everybody looked good on paper, but Everything that looked good on paper doesn't make it necessarily right. So you have to start operating from your soul— from, excuse me, from your spirit, from your spirit, from your spirit, from your spirit, from your spirit. And, and the only way you can do that is being connected. Gotta be connected. And so from that point, um, that's how I got out of not wanting to date again. I was like, okay, bro, it's time, you know. You gotta have— you're the type of woman that has to have somebody to take care of. You, you like that. I, I'm what's called a builder kind of woman, so I understand. Another friend of mine called it— he says, you, you know how to amplify a guy. Yeah, I do, and I enjoy doing that. Now, that's not for every woman. That's just how I am wired. That's a part of my DNA. And, um, I look at it as a blessing because what it does for me, it puts me in a position to be that rare. It puts me in a position to be that rare, um, that rare woman that the other guy was talking about. So I'm enjoying dating. I, um, when you are in the driver's seat of your life, you're not anxious about anything. People come into your life and every man that you meet, you don't say, oh, is he the one? Is he the one? Is he the one? No, no, you don't, you don't do that. What you say is, let me see if he has the potential to go to date. To. Let's see if we have, um, some interest. Let's see. That's what you do. You don't, you don't sit back and, and try to— oh girl, he like a latte and I like a latte too, that's my husband. No, no, we don't do that. We don't do that. At least I don't. But I understand it because I was raised in church and, and they don't teach you actually how to date. So my good friend Jack Daniels, um, he's— he loves my dating life. I was talking to him, I was talking to Rodney Perry— hey RP, if you want— the other day, and they love to hear me talk about my dating life. So Jack said, April, you have more quality dates than the average woman, so maybe you need to teach, uh, do an event called Teach Me How to Date. And I said, I might just do that, Jack, because I'm having a good time and there's no pressure. There's no— I hear so many women say, oh, I just get so frustrated. I said, you only frustrated, baby, because you want to go out and on your first tryout, oh, I'm ready to meet him, is that the one? And then you're not looking at yourself as a secure, confident type woman to, to know that, wait a minute, I have the pick of the litter. I don't live in a place of lack, I live in a place of abundance. So if he's not the one, then there's another one that will be the one. And I don't live by the statistics that, oh, because there's so many Black men in jail, oh, because you got so much down low, oh, because you live in Atlanta, be careful. I don't live by those restraints. I live from a place of abundance, which is why I have an abundance of dates, quality dates at that. It's just about figuring out who's the best purpose mate for you. So we, we live by the standards that other people have set. I don't live that. I don't live that way. I don't live that way at all. I don't live from a place of lack. I don't. I just— I used to— I'd be like, man, these men out here, they're not this, they're not that. But number one, I was saying that, but guess what, April? You weren't getting out of the house. So how can I expect to meet Mr. Right if you don't get out of the house? You don't do nothing. Number two, at that time in my life, I, I lost my purpose. Well, I didn't lose it, I decided not to do it. And when, when I got back on my purpose doing what I do, I— y'all When I did this Redesign Your Life Tour, you have no idea how many men I met along the way being on purpose. When I got on purpose doing my life, but I prioritize love in my life, I saw things differently. Some women can't even get to a date. I said, y'all talking about marriage, can we talk about going on a date first? Because some of the stuff that I've seen on my tour, I'm like, you don't even know how to date. You don't even know how to date. Because a date is nothing more than collecting data. And when you understand that, you go into it differently. You don't go into it trying to lock nobody in, and, and you don't put all your eggs in one basket. You don't do it. You go have a good time. You enjoy the moment. You put the ball in his court. You know, you go— you always a lady that's positioned to be found, but you are okay with making the first move. And the making the first move had nothing to do with being, um, classless or anything like that. You just let it be known that you are interested and available, and at that point he takes the ball and run with it. And 9 times out of 10, he gonna be shocked. It's like, she like me? I, I didn't even— I didn't even know if I was her type or not. I didn't even— and so he's, okay, okay. If he, if he's a man that picks up kind of quickly, okay, okay, well, what— how you doing? What's your name? What's your sign? What you do? How you been? So it's that kind of thing. And when you understand that, you start telling yourself, it's okay for me to love again. It's okay for me to dust myself off, forgive myself for the mistakes that I've made, forgive myself for the choices that I've made in men and women, operate from a place of abundance, know that there— if there's a desire in my heart to have a mate, that there is a mate out there for me. I'm no longer going to pay attention to the stats. Facts change. Facts can always change. And what you can do is choose to change what your facts have been. Um, Nikia, you say it's always bad when you make the first move. It's because you, you, you're not operating from wisdom. You see, I've never had a bad or mistake when I've made the first move because it's all about how you do what you do, girl. All about how you do what you do. And I'm gonna— I'm actually— I told Jack, I said, I'm looking for a venue now. I'm going to actually teach this, Teach Me How to Date. And it has a lot to do with your feminine energy. A lot of women don't know how to date because they don't know how to tap into their feminine energy. So if you— if you put it like this, if you operate on your day-to-day in masculine energy, meaning you don't ever question why you walk so fast. You don't ever question why you always say no and never say yes when someone's trying to help you. If you are identifying who you are by your job, your degree, and your, um, your status, you're operating in a masculine all day. So of course you're not going to know how to date as a feminine woman. Of course you won't. Absolutely not. So your dates might be going crazy, or you might not be getting any, or when you make the first move, it might not work out for you. But if you're not— if you're not practicing daily to operate in your feminine energy, what makes you think that you can attract a man from a feminine place and, and, and go out on a date and act like a lady Forget think like a man, act like a lady, think like a lady, represent like an asset. Okay, how do you, how do you, how do you think that's gonna happen? You can't. See, when I decided to start dating again, I put myself through classes and I hired coaches, um, to help me in my feminine, my femininity. One of the coaches I hired, she was, she was an Asian woman, and I hired her. People said, why did you hire Asian woman versus a Black woman? First of all, I didn't know, I didn't know a Black woman that was all feminine and could teach me that. But what I did know is that I have a lot of Asian family members, and they're married to some of my cousins on my father's side. Now, these women get whatever it is that they want, and I'm sitting there like, girl, this house is just immaculate. How did you— and one of them, she took me in the kitchen, she said, I've learned how to fight my battles. She said, I learned that you stroke his ego, it doesn't make me feel any less. I'm not dumbing down, but everything that I want he gives me because I know how to stroke his ego. Ladies, I have to tell— I have to teach y'all about what I learned, and I use it all the time, and it works. And, uh, my male friends would be like, April, you, you, you got game. I said, it's not game, it's woman. It's not game without at all. It's called being, oh, finally being okay with being a woman. And so you can't act like a woman when you're operating from the masculine all the time, and everything that you bring to the table is all masculine. You know, when a person asks who you are, you tell them what you do. That is not woman. That's not girl. So what you say, do it. You ready to learn? Y'all ready to learn? Yes, yes, yes. It's, it's a, it's, it's a, it's a wonderful feeling when you tap into that feminine energy and you understand the power of it. I was talking to my girl Tonya Blunt, um, and I'm gonna bring her on with me. I text her today to see if we could do something for the ladies this week. Time— y'all know Tonya Blunt from Sister Act 2, His Eye's on the Sparrow. She's the only one who sung the song Through the Rain from when she was on Bad Boy. That's like my ace queen, that's my sister. And so both of us, we've been friends for over 10 years, and both of us were hard and masculine and all of that, right? But we were talking the other day about how we are so in love with being the feminine woman, how we've evolved, and we walk— because we, you know, we're friends, have been friends for so long, we, we saw where each other, you know, where we were. And she's like, April, she's— she not— she got married not too long ago, and she said, my husband loves everything about me. When I became that feminine woman, I attracted a man that was looking for a feminine woman. So I'm gonna see— I'm trying to check her schedule to see if she's available this week, and we can go live right here, um, together, uh, and so we could discuss it because This is something that women need. Ladies, you know, I know you desire a mate, and you're supposed to, but you can't get to even a date if you don't know how to operate as a woman and if your heart is closed off to love. I'm choosing to love again because love is a choice. I'm just following my heart, but I'm taking my brain with me. That's, that's, that's the only difference. And see, now that I've matured and I operate as a wise woman and not just a woman, Two totally different things, baby. I can make decisions. And I posted a post yesterday about sometimes people put up walls to see who cares enough to tear them down. And you know, some folks had to say, no, that ain't wise, that ain't this, that— no, no, no. See, a wise woman can hear certain things that a man says, and that will determine if he's worth her showing him another side. Now, she's not going to sit there forever and, and try to, uh, let me show you, let me show you this, let me, let me help you unpack. A wise A foolish woman doesn't do that. But what a wise woman does, she hears key things. And even though he has the wall up, based upon his conversation, the questions that he asked— she asked— and if she's in his presence, in his space, he will get vulnerable just enough for a wise woman to pick up on it. And she can say, you know what, I hear what he's saying. But I also hear that vulnerable part, and I also hear that if the right woman came along and showed him something different, that door, that mustard seed door, is open just a little bit. Now, a wise woman is going to use her girl and reel him in. A woman is going to say First of all, she ain't gonna hear none of that. She's not going to be wise enough to hear key things because why? She's making it all about her. She's looking at what she can get. A wise woman look at what she can give because she knows if she's choosing to give to that man, she would have done her due diligence in the man that she chose. That's why I don't understand women that can't submit to, um, to their husbands. You chose the Joker, so why wouldn't you trust him to lead you down the right path? Why wouldn't you trust his judgment? You chose him. See, it's only when a woman is not wise in how she vets and how she chooses and how she listens that she has a problem with giving too much. She has a problem with not being able to hear correctly. She has a problem with always trying to get, get, get, get, get first before she gives. She knows just how much to give. She doesn't overdo. She actually mirrors what he does, but she does it in a girl way. I'm teaching more than y'all saying amen. I need an offering. Y'all need to go to my PayPal, me doggone it. I'm teaching right now. Got all what, 300 people in here tonight. What if a woman is too feminine? She can't— she, she needs some masculine to achieve success. I didn't, I didn't say she didn't. Masculine energy on a woman should not be done in the same way as it is in a man. I have to teach that. I have masculine energy, that's why I've been successful in business. But guess what? I, with my masculine energy, I take my girl with me to every business meeting. So yes, being a mask, having some masculinity, because there's men have some femininity, but my masculinity is not overdone. It does not overpower my femininity. The only reason way that I'm able to be in business As a feminine woman, I have to have some masculine traits. I have to be goal-oriented. I have to be ambitious. I have to be a logical thinker on some things. That's different, but that should not overpower. And what's happened is so many women have let their masculinity— they hustle, they grind, get that education— overpower the feminine side. And so now when you, when you're presented with the opportunity to go on a date you don't show up as that feminine woman. You show up as that masculine dude. And last time I checked, masculine men do not want a masculine woman. They want a feminine woman. And so no, there's nothing wrong with that because I'm a businesswoman and my, my friends call me a pit bull and— what, pit bull with heels on when I go handle business? But no, pit bull with lipstick on. However, I still can make it happen in the boardroom. But guess what? I take that girl with me all the time, and I know how to be coy. I know how to listen. I know how to bring that feminine energy out even in a business meeting. And even if I'm having a meeting with another woman, I know how to bring that feminine energy out because a lot of women carry more masculine energy. And so I have to break all that down and like, hold on, baby, are you not dealing with no man, sweetheart? We don't— we're not doing that. We're not doing that. We— I'm a woman and this is how women operate in business. Women— when to me, women in business that are, that are just not— that are all masculine, all they talk about is being bad chicks, getting my coins, and they, they got to do all this. I don't do that. I don't have to. I don't have to do that. I've gotten so much more being a woman than I ever have trying to prove something to a man, trying to prove that I'm just like him. I'm not. I'm okay with being the weaker vessel, but weaker vessel doesn't mean that I am a doormat. It doesn't mean that I'm weak. It doesn't mean that I'm a pushover either. I am— I control the temperature in the home. So because I have an understanding of that It doesn't kill me to say, baby, you great. It don't kill me to stroke his ego. Don't get— don't kill me to laugh at his little corny jokes, be like, really, is that what you're gonna do? It— see, a lot of women, they have a problem with that. And it's like, it's like what I said the other day when it comes to men, ladies. Why is it that if a man will tell you— and now even Titus Unlimited that I had on last week, I brought my good friend JoJo Hill on, I brought Rodney Perry on, I brought my friend Jack Daniels on. So if men do not choose women— if she's going to be a good wife by her degree, by how much money she has, by how much— what kind of car she drives, her good credit— why are you still trying to force that down their throat and then get mad when they don't accept it? Now, yes, men love a resourceful, resilient, interdependent, intelligent, smart woman. Absolutely. But If you're trying to sell them on pick me, pick me because I have all of these accomplishments, because I did what— did it the way society told me to do it, you're trying to feed a dog cat food and you're wondering why the little doggy is spitting it out. And then you get mad and say, well, all of these men are intimidated by women. Now we do have a selection of those because I've ran into those that are intimidated even if you are presenting your girl. And they just— that's just on them. However, if men are saying that's not what I'm choosing a woman on— oh, here come the— here come the angry feminists with the angry faces. I can't help it, it's what it is. If you keep trying to give a dog cat food and wonder why they not taking it, that's on you. So that's why there has to be a balance. That's why there has to be— get your education, be smart. Use your masculine energy in that and then take your feminine with you. But also bring the feminine with you in relationships, because I ain't gonna lie to you, I used to date like I was interviewing these jokers for— to see if I wanted to do business with them, because I was so used to operating from the masculine in business. And so it would run the dudes away and they would go get somebody that wasn't even as cute as me. And I'm like, where did that But what I realized is that she operated from her girl. She might have operated a little bit more from her feminine place. Now ladies, don't get it twisted. Yes, hey RP, I was just talking about you. Rodney Perry said, get your feminine on, because we talk about this all the time. Men do not choose women if she's going to be a good wife based upon her degree, how much money she got, how educated she is, none of that. So if you keep forcing that down men's throat That's what men present to us. That's what we're looking for. We're looking for the protector, the provider. But you know, that's how we naturally are. Even when, when you look at, um, animals, they're the female— she's looking for that provider who's going to be the best mate. We're the same exact way. So if you keep presenting all of this criteria that men present to us, why he want you? It's like he might as well date himself. He might as well date himself. So ladies, yes, it's so important to choose to love again, but take your feminine energy with you. When I tapped into my girl— I'll tell my daughter, we'll be out, I said, watch your mama work, watch this, watch this. And as I'm doing this, I'm teaching her that— I taught her that. That's why she's getting married in a few months. Now, if I would have had the same type of teaching that I had when I was her age, by now I probably, probably would have been married at least 15, almost 20 years by now. Yes, Rodney. Rodney says men have to step up and be that. Absolutely. We not saying that the men ain't got nothing to do. I'm saying that women can inspire men to be better by raising your standard. Fellas, if you, if you want to ask that kind of woman, you got to be an asset kind of man. So this— what I'm saying is I'm speaking from an asset woman now. Now let me clarify that. I'm speaking from a woman that if you want a woman that's about her business but about you too, you got to be about your business also and about her too. Hey, Keisha, a manly man don't want no masculine woman. No, he does not. That's Keisha, and Keisha got married after— what, what you say, Keisha? You got married to your husband after what? What, what was it, 6 weeks or something? I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying. But yes, fellas, y'all gotta step up because you dream about women like us. You dream about having a woman that's gonna have your back. You dream about a woman that is going to support you, that is going to care for you, that's going to nurture you, that's going to be able to pray for you, that can give you wise counsel, that can give you the best loving you'd never had, fulfill all of your fantasies. She exists, but you got to become the man that you need to be to attract her. We here, and the thing is, we're just not accepting the crumbs. That's all. We're waiting for you. We're waiting for you to rise up so we can be everything that you need us to be. Yo, every fantasy. We can, we can pray together, we can eat together. We can build an empire together. We can make love together. Whatever it is the daddy need, we can do that. But the issue is we're waiting on you to rise up. She exists. It's so many of us out here. Some of us need to tap into that feminine energy, but at the same time that we're tapping into the feminine energy, we need y'all to be rising up. Greg, will you say where? If you ain't found her, maybe, just maybe your criteria, what you're looking for, is not coming from Spirit. Because we're here, we're out here everywhere. And my job and my, my purpose on the planet is to show women how to tap into being more of a feminine woman so we can be identifiable. Hello, somebody! You got to be identifiable. But you can't be identifiable if you acting like a dude. And y'all, anything I tell y'all, I'm talking from experience because I was once that woman. I was once that man-hating, you know, these black men get on my last nerve because I— y'all know my story. I dealt with domestic violence, I dealt with, um, sexual abuse from my father, stepfather. I dealt with being cheated on, lied to. I dealt with all of those things, but I had to make a choice to love again. I refused to hold on to the past when my heart was desiring a mate. So I was choosing to paralyze myself. I was choosing to hold on to fear of what might happen again versus choosing to be a woman that— April, you change. You make the change so that you'll be wiser in the men that you choose. But hey, what's acting like a dude? Was you listening, Angelique? Girl, acting like a man is presenting yourself in the same way that a man presents to you. If you meet a guy and instead of using your feminine energy, you start to list off all of your accomplishments and everything you do, that's what men do too, as we call it, peacock us, that show us all their colors, because That's what men do. Women, we don't do that. We, we sit back, we're receivers. We sit back, we nurturers, we hear, we listen. That we don't, we don't do the same things that men do. We, we just don't. And so I understood that the reason why I wasn't getting, at that time, getting quality dates, um, was because I was presenting like a man. So how do you feel about side chicks? I think they're the worst things on the planet. I think side chicks— side chicks are women that think that they are helping the man, but the thing is, you're on the side because you'll never— you weren't good enough to be number one. So that's my thing with side chicks. And to answer that question, side chicks, um, are, are not first-round draft picks. And what's always funny to me about side chicks is that they'll say, well, you need to learn how to take care of your man. Well, you can take care of your man You know, she could be taking care of her man, but guess what? Even if you're taking care of him too, there's something about that other— his main woman that he ain't leaving. So he ain't leave her, you're on the side, and he's still going back. So there's something, you know, it's something that ain't just the kids and I gotta split all my stuff. No, no, it's something over there. So I mean, beside me and side chicks, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't agree, um, with that. Because to me, a side chick is saying I'm not enough to be the main. That's just, that's just, uh, that's just my, my, uh, take on it for those that— for the person that asked. What'd you say? She make me want to get married ASAP after that talk. Well, well, you know what, good, Mr. King, good. That's, that's why I'm here. Even though I'm talking to the women, I'm talking to the fellas as well too, because in order to be able to obtain the type of woman that I'm talking about, it took— it take work to get here. And so because it takes work, and it took me work to get here, I can't just let myself go to just anybody, honey. Mm-mm. It's not that I don't have a plethora of options. Miss Mason always have had options. It's just now that Miss Mason knows who she is. She's been doing her work and constantly does her work on a regular basis so she could be the best woman for her, and so she could be the amazing woman to the husband that's waiting on her. When you understand and operate from that point, you don't let people say, well, you single. Yeah, honey, I'm single and I am mingling and I'm having a good time because I'm not operating from the place of lack. I'm not operating from a place of desperation. I don't— I took that perfume called desperation. Oh, I threw her away. She didn't— she, she wasn't fitting for me. You know, she wasn't, she wasn't fitting, you know, you know, it didn't work well with fit, that, that didn't work well with my body chemistry. So at this point in my life, yeah, I'm not just going to, to anybody. No, no, everybody don't get my time, everybody don't get my, my, my phone number. And most people that get my phone number, they get my Google Voice number. Miss Mason is— I, I'm— I love me enough to protect me. If I let you in, it's because I saw something in you, and I'm going to present my best self, and I'm going to reciprocate. Now ladies, I'm not saying that you put yourself on a pedestal and you, you know, you put your standards so high even the Lord can't reach them. That's not what I'm— that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying if he is a quality man, you reciprocate. You don't, you don't just sit back and make him fish, keep throwing his rod out there and ain't catching no fish. No. You gradually reciprocate. You, you know, you follow your heart and take your mind with you. So you don't just sit back like, I am the prize, I am, I am, I am sitting on the pedestal, and, and you got to work to get me. Yes, you do have to work, but guess what? I have to work to get you too. It goes both ways. So I don't, I don't position myself so high. It's like in a real estate market. You can position yourself, uh, price a house so high you price yourself out the doggone market. You don't want to do that. And, and a lot of women are pricing themselves by their education, their degrees, the kind of car they have, the neighborhood they live in, the, the kind of credit that they have, the sororities they're a part of. That's what you're basing your price on. I don't base my price on that. Absolutely not. Because those are things that can be taken away. Will you still love me if I didn't have any of those things? Just saying. I don't price myself like that. I, I don't, I don't put that out there like that. You have to be a woman who understands her value and where your value comes from and where your strength come from. Stop saying I'm a strong, independent Black woman. Stop. And for my— and for my non-Black women, because I— y'all, I got a lot of my, my Caucasian sisters say, Miss April, but what about us? Is, is your message— my message is for you too, baby. You guys just don't say I'm a strong, independent woman. You might say I'm an independent woman. Don't say that, okay? Because when you're saying you're strong, all you're saying is give me more burdens, give me more problems, because I'm strong enough to handle them. Them? Uh-uh. No, no, no, no, no, we're not— we're not going to do that. We're gonna say we're resilient, interdependent, loving feminine women. That's what we are. That's what we are. It's when you stop trying to prove that I can do what a man can do. I don't want to do what a man can do, honey. You go break your back. You gonna let your knees hurt. You go out there and do what you do. You can go work them long hours if that's what Daddy want to do. Mama don't want to do that. Mama want to be at the house running her businesses, running your businesses on the side if that's what you need me to do. Make sure Daddy eat and he's all taken care of. And we, you know, whatever we do with what we do, that's what I want to do. I don't, I don't want to do and show you that I can compete with you. My success is not based on if I could compete with a man. That's not my— my success was because I had 3 children who are now grown to feed. So I put myself out there and I chose to be successful, but my success has nothing to do with showing or trying to prove to men that I can do the same thing that they can do. I don't want to do the same thing men can do. Baby, you go out. Baby, you need some lemonade? You get— matter of fact, mama car need to be looked at. You thirsty? What you need? What you— what outfit you need me to wear? Who you want me to be tonight? The nurse? The astronaut? The French maid? Who you need me to be? That's— yeah, we can do that. Daddy can go out there and make it happen, and Mama make sure that everything at the house is great, everything with his business is great, everything that he needs is great. So when we try to compete, when we try to be successful just to compete or show a man that we can do what they— that they do, you're actually running them away. I ain't trying to do that. Uh-uh, uh-uh, no, honey. What you need? Come on, get in the car, baby. I'm taking Daddy out tonight. Where we going? Um, wherever your daddy want to go is where we going, because Daddy done worked hard. I don't know, I appreciate you, and I'm getting ready to take Daddy out to do something, whatever it is he want to matter of fact, let's role play in the mall and act like you don't even know me. I'm gonna text you and I'm gonna walk up on you and act like I'm a new girl you trying to holla at, okay? That's what I'm about to do. I ain't gonna give all— I ain't gonna give out all my secrets. I'm just saying, ladies, I'm going to teach the class. Jack got me— Jack got me teaching the class on Teach Me How to Date. So, um, I'm gonna teach it but from a strictly feminine place. Period. Because we have to get back to womanhood and femininity. If you don't have my audiobook, um, Are You an Asset? 10 Keys to Being a Woman Who Brings More to the Table Than Her Appetite, I talk about the importance of femininity in there. You can go, um, to aprilmason.com and download it. Actually, we got the new hard copy, um, the 2-disc CDs in the mail, um, so you can, um, you'll be able to order that tonight. And I'll sign it and I'll send it to you, okay? But I talk about some of this, uh, the 10 Keys to Being an Asset Woman. And like I said, success is wonderful, you know, going and being able to take care of yourself is wonderful. But if you're still not even getting quality dates, something is wrong, you know? We got to do better, ladies. We have to, um, we have to do— we have to do better, okay? So we have to be women that are about our business But at the same time, we can, we can, um, be women who are about our men too. What'd you say? Do men— do women really like non-rich guys? Stefan, baby, let me tell you something. Most men are not rich. Okay, fellas, this is for you. Let me break it down for you right quick. Oh, that's a— look, that's the right song that just came on the radio. I'm living a single life. Okay, Stefan, let me break this down to you real quick. When a woman says that she wants a man that makes six figures, what she's saying is, I want a man that can provide. Now, if he does not make a lot of money but he is responsible with his money, that plays a different— that's, that's totally different. So I know a lot of men think, oh yeah, women, all y'all want is money, money, money, money, money, money. And it's not necessarily that she wants money, okay? One of my good friends, uh, told me, he said, April, a man, no matter what you say, he's going to funnel it through something sexual regardless of what. That's just how we're wired. Women are just wired to look for the best provider. That's just what it is. It doesn't mean provider by dollar amount. It means provider by who has wisdom with the money, who knows how to take care of his family. So don't be turned off if a woman has not learned how to choose her words right just yet by saying, I want a man that can provide. So personally, I would take a man making $50,000 a year that treats me well and that I'm attracted to over a man that makes a whole hell of a lot of money, but he got an $800 car note, an $8,000 mortgage, student loans, and all that. I don't look at it the same way. Just because you make six figures, that doesn't mean that you are saving money. That— it doesn't mean that. It doesn't mean that you're good with your money. And then again, you could be making six figures and you could be good with your money too. You— it's not this or that, it can be this and that. But to answer your question, Stefan, For women, it's a security thing. It has nothing to do with trying to be a gold digger. It's more of we, we are wired— it's like, you know how men are wired to be hunters and men are wired to funnel things through their sexual brain all the doggone time? We are the same way when it comes to provision and security. So never get offended unless she's, unless she's just being real disrespectful with it. But never get offended when a woman starts to talk about provision, because we're wired the same way. You guys are about— about sex, we are about provision. How long should you be with a woman before you propose? Winston asked. That's up to you. I don't believe it. I don't— see, I'm a woman that doesn't believe in times. I, I believe in this: if a wise man knows what he wants and he's figured it out and he can spiritually identify this is the woman for me from a spiritual place, it don't take all day. Now if you are unsure, it to me is when it takes all day. But when you're operating from like when I started this video, I talked about being in spirit. When you operate from a spirit place and you know what you need from your core, you can meet a woman in 30 days, propose to her, because because you're not operating from logic, you're operating from spirit. Yes, you, you have— you, you follow in your heart, but you're taking your mind and your spirit with you. But you're, you're operating mainly from spirit. Your spirit's connected. Her spirit would have connected. So in that, you determine what the time is. All of my male friends, they propose rather quickly because they knew who they were. They could identify it when they saw her. They didn't have any mental blocks trying to keep them from, um, making that move, or, oh, maybe she gonna try to get me for this, or maybe, you know, she gonna do me like my ex did, maybe she's not gonna understand me. They didn't do all of that. They took the time to find out who they were as men. They knew exactly who they were, what they needed, and they were able to identify from your spirit, that's my purpose mate. And every last one of my friends, um, that have done that, they've been married over 15, 20 years. Um, Brian says, I need a woman that's very supportive and we're supportive together. Okay Brian, you want a woman that's supportive? Right now, this week, find some— find a woman to be supportive of. It could just be a friend. You have to start exercising your support muscle. Everything that it is you want, you need to start exercising that. Um, when I, when I started dating again, I started complimenting men. Just, you know, if they look nice or they smell nice or nice shoes, a nice watch, I started complimenting them. I got— I started working that feminine, that girl muscle. Do I have advice on how to love yourself? Absolutely. Love me or leave me. I think I gave this before, but I'll give it to you you again. The easiest way to start loving yourself and make better choices is two things. Love yourself the exact way that you would love someone close to you. The way you love your children, the way you love your parents, the way you love your friends, the way you love your, your, um, your— if you're married, your spouse, the way that you love your, your cat, your dog, whatever it is that you just got this love before. You love yourself exactly that way. How do you make better decisions? Take the same advice that you would give one of your girlfriends that's going through some hell. You take that, you give yourself advice just like that, and you take it. That's how you start making wise decisions. Because normally when our friends come to us, we can give them the bomb advice. Take it yourself. Oh, this is my song. Hold on. See, see, I must be on it today. The right songs are coming on. I'm Lost Without You, that BB and CeCe Winans. See, y'all gotta get back into— y'all gotta get back into love, honey. Everybody thought they were BP and CeCe back in the day. Anywho, you have— like I said, in order to love yourself, you have to love yourself with the same tenacity, that, that same passion that you love others. That's how I did it. And when I start realizing, April, you give more people more love and you put them above you than you do yourself. I had to switch that out because the only reason I'm able to date quality men the way that I am is because I had to love myself first. I had to become a quality woman, not just in appearance but at the heart, at the soul, in my spirit. And once I do that I go outside without no makeup on. Yeah, I meet men when I ain't got no makeup on, when I ain't all dolled up. When I'm at the— when I'm at the gym, they be eyeing a sister. I'll be like, I see you see me on this treadmill, boy. And so, but it's the spirit that resonates, um, from the inside out. The outside is just an added bonus. It's just added bonus. Hey Willie, how you doing? Love today seems commercialized. It's only commercialized if you make it commercialized. No matter— it's not about what they make love, it's about what you make love to you, what it means to be— what it means to you. See, we live too much by the standards that other people have set. We don't have to. It doesn't matter if they commercialize it. Heck, Valentine's Day is commercialized, but I still love Valentine's Day because it has a different meaning to me. I decorate my house for Valentine's Day like I decorate it for, um, Christmas, because I'm just, I'm just that ball of love kind of woman. I'm just, that's just what I am. So I, it means something different, you know, to me. I always want to make sure that my home is in a position and, and it has an atmosphere of love and peace and serenity and sexy too. All that we got. We don't talk about that in church, Ladies, you got to keep the sexy alive. You can be single and sexy. I believe in that. I, I really do believe in the single and sexy. And, and sexy doesn't mean raunchy. Sexy doesn't mean that you got to show everything. Yes, I will show some cleavage, and some of y'all my church folk done got pissed off at me. I'm like, I got about 2,000 pictures on this page. I show 2 or 3 pictures with a little cleavage and they done lost their mind. I'm a Jezebel now. Well, I'll take it because Jezebel didn't have no look, so, you know, so Some of that— some of them don't even know what Jezebel mean. It's like, Jezebel didn't even— what was her look? What she looked like? I thought she was a spirit. Okay, so I wanted to share that with you guys today. And, um, it looks like it stopped raining. So I look— I didn't— while y'all was sitting here, I didn't— I didn't text my date on my other phone and told him that I was— I was on my— Mama's on the way. Mama's on the way. So I hope you guys— I hope you guys got something out of this tonight. Who is this? Who am I listening to? Put on some love music if you're not feeling love, you know. Put on some— put on— watch a romantic movie, fellas. Y'all can watch a romantic comedy too. Get that love stirred back, um. Up in you. What'd you say, Chantel? Go, go ahead. There is, uh, there you go. Jezebel had no look. That's what I'm saying. They be calling me Jezebel and the church folk be getting upset with me, y'all. And I don't care because I'm not church, I'm a woman. And if you understand the spirituality, femininity, and sensuality all goes together, once you learn that, you'll be unstoppable. Of all. So love you guys. We got over 500 people in here tonight. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. You better get a ring on you ASAP. Oh, you know what, uh, Mr. King is coming. He— and I gotta tell you guys this, but just because you don't see somebody in the picture doesn't necessarily mean there's nobody in the— just because you don't see any pictures doesn't mean there's no one in the picture. And I'm the type of woman where you would never see a man that I'm dating posted on social media. Now if you just happen to see that out, fine. But I'm the type that won't say a word, the next thing y'all know I go live and I'm— y'all at my wedding. So don't worry about it, sister, I appreciate y'all. But please understand, I would never— I'm not the type that would flaunt, um, somebody I'm in a relationship with. Because number one, because I do social media, I wouldn't want him being known as, you know, oh, he dates that girl from, from Facebook. I wouldn't want that. As well as I don't want y'all in business like that. And number 3, I see so many people who do that, and when it don't work out, all of a sudden all of the pictures come down. They'd be like, wait a minute, what happened? And lastly, I have a responsibility. My, my mandate and purpose in life is to show women how to get it done right. I can't be out here taking pictures with every man that I, that I'm dating and then posting them. And even if I do become exclusive and there ain't no ring on it. And Miss Mason ain't one of those that does that. It's— unless there's a ring on it and a marriage certificate, or I'm walking down the aisle, y'all not gonna know no way unless you just happen to see, um, some pictures. It was so funny because I've gone out with a couple celebrity guys and they were like, wow, you different. I said, what you mean? You didn't ask to take no pictures. I said, baby, I don't need nobody knowing that we even connected just yet. I know that all the ladies think you fine and you can do this and you that, but I'm a different breed. Me. I don't even want anyone to know that I know you like that. I don't even, you know, I know a lot of other women would like to take pictures with you and, and being able to say, hey, I'm dating such and such, but I value me and what I have to lose, just like you value you. So I'm not a groupie. I'm trying to get to know you. I know your gift already, baby. I see, I've seen your movies. I've heard you I know your gift, darling. I'm trying to get to know the man behind the gift. And every time, you know, they like, I wasn't expecting that. I'm like, because you different. You're dealing with a wise woman. You're dealing with an asset woman, honey. Asset women, we don't need to— we don't need to flaunt you. We don't need to prove anything to anybody. If I'm with you, if somebody just happened to take a picture and folks see it, and next thing you know it's on TMZ, well, that's how y'all find out. Other than that, No, no, I don't— I don't need no pictures like that. I don't need— I don't need none of that. So let's get to know each other on a strictly woman-man situation, not you're a celebrity and, you know, people know me from social media. No, we're not gonna do that. We're not going through that. But I like your movie though. So you got to just learn how to operate as a, um, as a wise woman. And when you, when you get into that energy, ladies, when you can get into that, it's such a great feeling because you're not desperate and you don't wear that stinky perfume of, of, of anxiety and desperation. And will he like me? No. Will I like him? You know, let— I'ma present my best self. I'm not gonna feel like if he don't like me, he's the last man standing. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I don't— I don't— I don't operate like that, and I don't think anybody should operate like that. But you can't get to that place until you know who you are at your core. You know your value, you know your worth, you know that you're enough. You know that you don't— you— you assume that, you know what, if I'm in his he like me. You don't, you don't sit there wondering, do he like me, don't he? No, he's in my presence, he like me. Yeah, he like me. He think I'm cute. He, he like my curves. Yes, he does. That's what you think. You don't think the other way around. You don't think, okay, I don't know if he gonna like me. I don't— if he out with you, there's something about you he like. You just, you just reel him on in being your authentic self and learning how to use choose your strength, which lies in your femininity. Y'all have a great night. I gotta go get to my day.