Ladies, you're playing to small

Well, hello, hello, hello there. Happy Monday, everybody. I hope I found you doing well today. You good? I'm on Grandma duty right now. My baby come— she's come over to her granny's house to spend the night. So you said hello? You have to wave. You have to wave your hand. Say hello. That's Leah. Leah Bobea. So if you're watching the replay, know that, um, you don't want to hear my rambling, you'll— you can fast forward. But we're out and about in these Atlanta streets. Where we going, Mama? We don't know. We're— I'm hungry, she's not. I just ate some chips. Yeah, but that wasn't food, Mama. You want to get something to eat? Because we were— I was gonna take you to Six Flags today, but it looks like it's gonna rain. I know, but it looks like it's gonna fix the rain. It was just raining a minute ago, so— but it's not raining. Well, we'll see, we'll see. Anywho, how you guys doing? Happy Monday. I hope you had a great Memorial Day weekend and understood that what Memorial Day is actually all about. So listen, What? What, ma'am? You want to go on Party City? Well, you know, my birthday is coming up, so we do need to see what kind of decor we're gonna have for my party. Oh my party! So, oh yeah, your birthday is Friday. Ah, you'll be 6. My birthday coming. My baby will be 6. Some of you, um, have been with me since she was born, have been following our journey. So, um, you've been with me for a while. So anywho, this is one to talk with you briefly about because this one is not gonna let me really get my talk in because she wants to talk too. But ladies, here we go. Are you playing? No, it's not are you. I'm telling you, you're playing too small. And this is what I mean from how you live your life, what you believe you can have, the type of men that you choose to date. The lack that you put on yourself. You are playing too small. Let me park. I'm gonna park. We're gonna— you want to go to Dollar Tree? You always want to go to Dollar Tree, Mom. Hold on. You've been playing too small and it's costing you. You're playing small, has you second-guessing who you are, your confidence, your self-esteem. You, you accepting, uh, Bob the Builder kind of men because you feel like you can't have anyone that has it all together. Now, when I say have it all together, I didn't say perfect, okay? So with that, you're thinking that you're less than, or that you're not realizing that you are enough, has you in a place where your confidence is low, your self-esteem is just shot. And that's not how it's supposed to be. You're supposed to automatically know, I am a woman of character and integrity. I'm an asset woman. I'm a woman of value. And when you understand that about who you are, you will stop playing small. You'll stop saying, well, all I need is this, you know, I can just do, you know, that barely making it mentality. No more. No more. You— it's time for you to rise up and be that and stop watching others soar ahead of you. Stop watching others living a life that you can sit back and merely watch from the sidelines and admire. Those days are over for you if you choose to make them over for you. You don't— you, you can have with the desires of your heart. You just have to believe. You can't just have a desire in your heart and then believe you can have it. And I always tell you guys, one of my favorite quotes is by, um, um, Nelson Mandela. He said, you can't see— you can't prepare for something secretly believing it won't happen. It doesn't work that way. You have to make a choice and say, I'm tired of taking the bottom of the barrel. I'm tired of taking what is given to me. Just because life happens doesn't mean that I have to accept what, what is given to me. I don't have to accept that. You're accepting it. So when people tell me, April, yeah, but you don't know, this is a job that I have, this is a life that I live, you know, this is what— no, you're accepting what's given to you. You're not questioning anything. You're accepting everything versus saying, no, that's not what it is. That's not how it's going to be for me. So it's not about what you can have. It's about the fact that you're playing so small that you don't believe that you can have it. So we've been taught, we've been programmed by our family. We've been programmed by— okay, sorry guys, I was— I better pause. Pull over right here. I was in an area where the internet went out. As I was saying, we've been programmed by our families and what we see, what we've been taught, what we saw, what we saw our grandmothers accept. And I'm here to say, just because that's what they accepted does not make that your norm. It doesn't have to be your normal, you know. A lot of times what we, we say we're not teaching our children things is because we're not saying it. But what we accept, the life that we live, is training our children. So right now, if you're living from paycheck to paycheck, if you keep dealing with raggedy men, if you keep dealing with what life gives you and you keep accepting it, if you don't feel like you're good enough to apply for a better job and make more money, that's because you are playing too small. You're playing too small, and it's time for you to rise up and be the asset woman that you're supposed to be instead of shrinking down. And I don't know, I I don't want to shine. I'm like, no, it's all about being humble, but I refuse to dim my light because someone else cannot deal with it. Okay, it's up to you. It's up to you to decide, this is what I want in my life. What do you want? And what changes are you willing to, um, to make to become the woman you need to be in order to live the type of life that you want to live? It's up to you. It's not up to anybody else. You determine what your life is going to look like. If you want to be a worker bee all of your life, that's okay. Just make sure you're going to be the best paid worker bee on the job. Okay? There's nothing— everybody's not meant to be an entrepreneur, and I hate when people try to push everybody toward it. I had to learn, April, just because you're an entrepreneurial spirit does not mean everyone is going to be that. So if— but if you are going to be someone who takes— it makes you feel better, or you feel, you know, more secure working on a job, go get the best paying job that you can get, baby. Don't just settle for the crumbs. Playing small— normally if you play small in one area of your life, you're going to play small in the other area of your life. When it comes to men, why are you playing small, taking average treatment? You know, people will treat you how you allow. So You can't be mad at them for how they're treating you when you're the ones that, that show them that it's okay to do you that way. So they're only doing what you're allowing. So you can't be mad and say, why would he treat me like that? Well, why wouldn't he treat you like that? You've shown him exactly how to treat you, so he's only doing what you've allowed. If you don't want average treatment, if you don't want to deal with average men anymore, stop being a basic woman. Stop being an unwise woman. It's time for you to rise up and be the asset woman that you're called to be, period. It's time to go through the emotional change that comes with pain. I mean, the emotional— the pain that comes with a change. It's time to do that. See, what happens is you say you want to think so much, and you, you know, you'll hear me, you get motivated. Okay, April's saying that, she said that, amen, amen, amen, right? But what'll happen is, what— when I'm not around, when I'm not going live, when I'm living my best life, when I'm enjoying myself, when I'm out on trips and, and having great time, when I'm out dating and, and having men treat me the way that I'm supposed to be treated, you're no longer motivated because I'm not here to do it. So even if I'm not here, you should be able to say, I'm a valuable woman and I'm an asset woman regardless. Of if she's here to motivate me or not. See this Atlanta weather? This sun is not all in this sister face. Let me try to turn this hair away. So regardless of if I'm here or not, you should be able to say that because you are valuable. You can't want someone to put more value on you and treat you better than you treat yourself. A lot of women say, you know, I have a standard, I have a standard. A lot of y'all don't have standards. A lot of you don't have standards, and this is how I know. Look at what you've been dealing with. Look at the things that you complain about when it comes to men. Look at the things that you complain about on your job. Look at the kind of friends you have. That tells me what your standard is. So a lot of women say, I have a standard, and they're talking about, you know, he got to make this kind of money. It's all material-based stuff. That's not having really a— okay, sorry about that. Once again, that internet, that intranet. Um, is where I'm located right now. It's acting up. But a lot of you don't have standards. What you— you have talk, but you don't have standards. Because what we do as women, especially dealing with men, because we're nurturers and we want to help them get through it, you, you put up with stuff that you should not be dealing with. Whereas there's a difference between a man that's trying to be better and a man that's just, you know, he's showing you his potential, but he's not trying to live up to showing you. But what do we do? We play small. We don't believe that we can have someone that's actually on the right track and getting his life together and really, you know, want to be the man that you desire. Oh, you got sleepy, Mama? So we can't go anywhere if you're getting sleepy. My stomach. Your stomach hurt? That's because you need some food and you ate those chips. No more chips for you. No more chips, we need food. So with that, you're wondering why you keep attracting the same type of— why I always get the Bob the Builder kind of man. He always needs some help making a come up. Now I'm not saying that you don't— you're not a supportive woman. Not saying that at all. But what I am saying is, isn't it time that you raise your standard so you can attract men that are above where you are, or, you know, they're like, okay, I see who she is, I see what she's doing. You know, she's a supportive, she's an asset woman. You know, why do you feel like you always got to get the raggedy, the bottom of the barrel, and then you try to build them up? It's the same thing with you fellas. You get the women that you really want an asset woman, but instead of you becoming an asset man, you'll get kind of more of a woman that's more of the low-hanging fruit because she hasn't been taught and she has not elevated and became and did her self-worth and became an asset woman. So you'll go get her because in your mind she's beneath you and she might need you more. Um, and instead of you rising up to become a better man so you can attract a better woman, you try to change, turn that kind of woman into an asset woman, and she has not done her work to become that yet. Gotta stop doing that. Gotta stop playing small. Gotta get rid of the insecurities. You gotta stop waiting on other people to come in and save you, okay? And when I talk, I talk from experience. I used to date men that were beneath me because I didn't feel like I could have a crème de la crème man. I didn't feel that I could have a man that would have my back, or the man that was financially stable, a man that, um, you know, had his stuff, his ish together. I used to be that kind of woman. So I even married a man that was beneath me because I felt like It wouldn't require me to do much. But when I found out, April, that part of that woman on the inside of you that needed to rise up— you chose the wrong man to marry based upon your insecurities, based upon your self-esteem issue, based upon the fact that you were taught as long as he loved God, he'll love you. So I chose to marry a man that way. But what— the more self-development— because what I want to happen, I promise you, I'll tell you no lie, what'll happen is the more self-development that you start to do and become a better woman for yourself He's no longer tantalizing to you. You want someone that can meet you on the same wavelength mentally. You want someone that can meet you on the same wavelength, um, from a spiritual aspect. You want someone that's above you. You want a man that can teach you something. That's what you want. You don't merely just want someone that's going to— here go the sun again, hold on. Well, that— I got too dark. You don't merely just want someone that's good for where you are but not good for where you're going. When you become an asset woman, you, you become a woman that is not only good for a man for where he is but also where he's going. No, you might not have all of the finances that you need. Well, most, most asset type men, they're not looking for a woman or to marry a woman because of her finances. They're looking to see if she's an asset woman. She's— they're looking to see, can she be loyal? Can she be faithful? You know, can she have my back all the way around? That's what she's— that's what they're looking for. So being an asset woman is not about how much money you have, it's about who you are on the inside is what an asset woman is all about. So when you start looking at, um, I know they're wondering why she parking in our parking lot like this. When you start looking at, um, hold on, oh my baby, my baby don't want to sleep. Leah, Leah. You don't want to go eat? Are you— you want to go to— would you want to go somewhere close? Close? Yeah, we'll go somewhere close so that you don't— you— we can go right home so you can finish your nap, okay? Since you're spending the night in my house. Anywho, you don't want a woman that's an asset woman. As I was saying, has nothing to do with how much money she has. It has everything to do with who she is. And asset men aren't looking for you to come to the table and be doing 50/50 and you got to pay half of this and Normally, normally— now I'm not saying if hard times hit, you don't kick in. Yeah, if hard times hit, you gotta have your man's back. But at the end of the day, asset men are not looking for a woman to take care of him. They're looking to see, is her mental state together? They're looking to see if she's a woman of integrity. They're looking to see if she's a woman that will not embarrass him out in public when he's around his colleagues. That's what he's looking for. Will she be a good mother to my children? That's what she's looking for. Got me? That's what he's looking for. So when you be— when you start to become that asset woman, you have to understand that in order to become her, you have to stop playing small. You have to go for what you know. You have to go get what you want. You have to stop all of this, well, maybe, what if— because some of you guys are asking me questions like, well, April, what if he's not pursuing you the way he was? Get the hell on. You, you, you go where you're appreciated and not for where, um, you're just tolerated. You don't do that. So you don't try to make something that's not treating you right into something that's treating you right. Especially if you're single, you are in the perfect position right now because you are in a position where you can become the best woman that you, you can be for yourself first. And then when you present yourself to someone, if they're not up to par, you can pull yourself back and say, no, that ain't it. Okay, it's not just about I'm becoming a better woman for a man. No, you become a better woman for yourself first, because what that does is it elevates you in other areas of your life, not just from a relationship standpoint, but in a business standpoint, on your job, how people treat you, how the type of friends that you bring into your life that you attract. All of that changes when you become better. If you don't like your friends, it's because you're just like them. If you don't like the type of men that you're attracting, it's because it's something going on within you. If you're not a part of our VIP Academy, make sure you join. And don't just join so you can get the information and leave. Join so you can learn, learn some, um, some new information, honey, because this— our master class for June is called How to Stop Attracting Emotionally Unavailable Men. And there's a key to this and some things that I'm going to share with you that I had to learn, that I had to deal with. Dealing with— I was like, why is it that I would always attract emotionally unavailable men? And I'm going to show you who— what you need to do and who you need to become in order to stop doing that. Because it's no fun when you are— when you are— when you think you're ready and you keep attracting emotionally unavailable people. You don't want to do that, um, darling, anymore. That's not what— that's not what you want, okay? That's definitely not what you want. So make sure you go to vip.teachmehowtodate.com and join us and become, you know, one of those women that invest in herself. That's what an asset woman does. When you play small, you don't invest in yourself. That's another thing. You don't invest in yourself when you are playing small. Because what happens is when you play small, you feel like everything is all good. You, you where you want to be, you got what you need. Asset women don't do that. I've invested thousands in books, thousands in hours, thousands of learning how to become a better woman. And what it did for me was, uh, because I grew up with low self-esteem and no confidence, and I really didn't have that backing and that push, it played out in my adulthood. So I said, April, what result do you want? And I always look at it from the result standpoint. Whatever result you want, you work backwards. So you look at what it is— what is it that I want? Okay, if you want to be in that loving relationship and that married to that amazing man, the question becomes, what type of woman do I need to become to get that? If you want to have a successful business, you look at the result. I want a successful business. I want to be able to work when I want to, and I want to make money in my sleep. My PayPal goes off in my sleep, my Stripe, my Square. That's what I want to do because I want to have time for my family. Well, let's go back. That's the results you want. Let's go back. Who do you need to become to get that? Okay, that's how that works. Stop blaming other people on your shortcomings and start changing that. Who do you need to become? I want a man that's not a liar. Then stop lying. I want a man that's honest and has integrity. Will you be honest and have integrity? It all goes back to you. I want a man that's not so busy. Will you stop saying how busy you are all the doggone time? Everybody's so busy. You know, I told myself the other day, I said, you know what, I think I need to marry— I think my man will be a retired man. Because the more in tune that I get with me, and I'm dating, and I'm, you know, having fun, and I'm getting to know people, I'm realizing more more about myself. Okay, well, based upon your schedule and how you live your life, you probably need someone that is not all about his hustle and his grind like that. Meaning he's made his money, he's done what he needs to do, he's not push, push, push, I'm trying to get to that next level. He's stable, so he has time. He might work, he might have a little business, but he says, you know what, my life and my lady and my family is more important to me right now, and I'm not, I don't have that grind. So When I'm telling— I'm sharing this with you to say, when you start getting more in tune with yourself, you start knowing and understanding what it is that you need so that you stop wasting other people's time and you stop wasting your time. So I had to say, you know what, maybe I need someone that is, that is retired. Because men, you know, I used to think that I wanted an entrepreneur man. Now I've shared this with you guys here. I thought I wanted a man that was an entrepreneur like me and he was doing his thing and he was grinding it out. Well, the more mature I got The more wise I got, the more settled I became, the more I started nesting like I am now, the more I realized, April, you don't really don't want anyone that's overly ambitious and a workaholic. That's not what you want. So guess what happened? And I'll tell you no lie, the moment I started understanding that about myself and noticed that I've changed even from coming live with you guys, what I thought I used to want like clockwork, guess what I started attracting? Retired men. Retired men that are in their 40s, early 50s. I'll be 43 next month. And if you're in Atlanta, you gotta come to my birthday party, June 22nd. Go to AprilMason.com/BdayParty and it's gonna be at the St. James Live on June 22nd. So as I was saying, the moment that I started really identifying who I am and what it is that I need, I'm no longer on that grind anymore. It kind of even switched when I was, um, had smaller children. When I had smaller children, I wanted to date someone that had smaller children because that's what I thought, that's what I needed at the time. Well, the more mature I got, my children got older. My youngest is 20, my oldest will be 24 next month, and my son, because he's getting ready to be 22, I don't need a man to be daddy anymore, to be that, that man in their life. So the more you get to know you and stop playing small and just accepting something just because it's there, you start to become more, a more wiser woman. So now that I am, you know, 42, getting ready to be 43, been an entrepreneur for 15 years full-time, haven't worked on anyone's job, I now realize, April, when you were in the heart, when you were in the thick of it, building your business, building your brand, building your companies, you wanted someone that had that grind, you know, that grind, it was on it, right? Now that I'm settled now that my business— a lot of them are functioning automatically. Now that I'm an empty nester and I've calmed all the way down, I realize you may not need a man that's on his grind and on his— on the go 24 hours a day. He's on his job 12, 13, 14, 16 hours a day. You probably will need someone that's more family-oriented, that's retired, or if he's not retired He's settled, he's grounded, he's mature, he's stable. And as soon as I identified that with myself, I said, this is interesting, but the last 3 men that I've met within the last couple of weeks, they've all been retired. And one of them even told me— we went out Saturday One of them being Toby. He said, hey, you know, I'm retired. He said, I had to tell my boss, you know, no a couple times. And I said, so you don't have a problem telling your boss no? He said, no, because I don't need this job. I'm retired. This is just something that I'm doing. And he said, well, honey, you know, if I had a woman in my life, I wouldn't have made that impulsive buy Saturday and bought a new motorcycle. I don't need a new motorcycle, but you know, I don't have a woman in my life like that. It's not that I can't afford it. I just didn't I'll just be doing stuff. So I realized, April, that's more of the type of guy that you need, not one that's trying to climb the corporate ladder. And, um, so he'll do anything. He'll sacrifice himself, he'll sacrifice the relationship, he'll sacrifice time because he's trying to get to that next level. Now, that type of guy, I used to like him. Yes, y'all hear my baby snoring? She back there, ain't she? So I used to want that guy. I really did. Um, because we could be a power couple and we could do all these things. Now that I'm older and wiser or it's like, April, are you concerned about being a power couple, or do you want a man that meets your core, um, love— your primary love language, which is quality time? Well, every retired man that I've gone out with, they're looking for that quality time. So we have to become women once again that are not playing small, because when you play small in one area, you'll settle and play small for— in other areas of your life. It's all interconnected. It's all— I hope I'm making sense. If I'm making sense, say, girl, you making sense. I hope I'm making sense, um, um, to you. Yeah, y'all hear my baby back there? Little mama sleep, but I'm hungry, so she'll have to wake up. We might have to go to one of these restaurants around here. I live by several restaurants. Or maybe we can— she might like a, uh, I don't know if I've ever taken her to the hibachi spot over here. I think that's what we'll do. So anyway, I wanted to share that with you today. Make sure also you join me in Atlanta on June— July 21st for Will the Asset Woman Please Rise. These are some of the principles and how-tos that I will be teaching, um, teaching you on at that event. And some of it— let me give you some of the topics that I will be covering because it's time out. You know, we say that there are no good men out here, and there's a lot of great men out here. We just don't know where our priorities are. You know, we're overlooking great men with great quality because we are, we are the ones playing, and we're the ones that don't know what it is that we need. So some of the things that we're going to be talking about at the Will the Absent Women Please Rise event is how to operate from a feminine place in every area of your life, how to make yourself a priority, how to develop a supportive and loving relationship with yourself. Now let me say that one again. How to develop a supportive and loving relationship with yourself. Learn how to forgive yourself and others the correct way. Learn how to operate from a place of wisdom. This right here is so important. Ashley said, I will be there. You got your ticket, Ashley? Can you drop the info on the VIP? You just go to AprilMason.com. It's on the front page. Go to my website. How to gain clarity about what you want and need in your life. Now let's start right there. And I'm gonna go deeper, um, into this, um, at the event. But gaining more clarity— y'all go— y'all know my friend Jack Daniels and his beautiful wife Marshawn? Marshawn said something to me, said something one day that just stuck with me. She said, you're, um, when you get clarity, cash comes. Cash comes after clarity. If you don't know where your money is at— because we're going to talk about that— because asset woman— although asset men don't look at you for money It's good to have some money, okay? One of my favorite movies, um, is Jumping the Broom. And when he had blew all the money, Angela Bassett said, oh, did you think that if we didn't have no money, honey? You think we had no money? So asset woman is going to always have some money that when if daddy gets himself or get the family into something, mama not going to trip too hard because she said, baby, I got your back. You've been supportive of this family. You've been taking care of us. You've been doing it all of these— this time, all of these years. I know we've had some— hit some rock bottom, and we've— not rock bottoms, but some hard times. But baby, please understand, mama got it, okay? So we not broke. It's okay. Come lay on my lap. Mama got it. How much money we got? Don't worry about that, baby, but just understand we're not going down, okay? I'm just saying, that's what an asset woman does. An asset woman is a woman that is about her business. She does make money. She's not just sitting around waiting for someone to take care of her. Although asset men, mature men, old school men, that's what they like to do anyway. But he knows I'm taking care of her and I'm making sure she's straight, but not because she's a gold digger, but because she's a woman that I, I like to have on my side because she got my back. So I, I take pride in being able to take care of my woman. That's a different kind of man, and you have to be a certain type of woman to attract that type of man. So make sure you join me on the 21st of July, and I'mma show you the type of woman you need to be in order to draw up the type of man— that type of man into your life. Another thing you will be talking about is how to trust yourself in the decision— the decisions that you make, how to use your femininity to turn your business ideas and life by turning your business ideas, um, into wealth. That's so important because one of the things, as an asset woman, you have to have something going on in your life other than a man, okay? Other than your kids. I made the mistake, and some of you may not agree, but I made the mistake of making my kids first, making my kids a priority. That was the wrong thing to do. I should have made myself a priority. Then as a single parent, my kids came. My life, my relationships should have been more of a priority to me than my children. Because when your children get older and grown, they leave you anyway. They go— they make themselves and their relationships, their marriages a priority. So I'm not saying that you don't take care of your family and take care of your babies. I'm saying They should not be the center of your life because they sure as hell don't make you the center, you know, of theirs when they get grown, um, and gone. That, that's not, that's not what, how that works. They're off living their lives, doing their things with their family, and you don't, you don't have that because we make the mistake of my family come first, my family, my family, my kids, my kids, my kids come first. No. They should not come first. You take care of them, but they should not come before you, baby, especially if you are a single mom. Your children should not come ahead of you. If you are married, your children should not come before your spouse. Absolutely not. Now, do you make concessions and things? Yeah, yeah, you do. But your children should not come before your marriage or you. I don't know, it might not be— oh, they don't open till 4:30, Mama, so we have to go to the other restaurant. Um, but they should not come before you. And I did that with my children. They came before everything, but then they often married and gone about their business. You— that's not what we do. You put you first. Your needs, your desires come before your children. Now, some of you may not agree, and I'm not asking you to, but I am want you to ask yourself, am I suffering or am I closing off parts of my life because my life evolves around every sport the kid has to go play? Every— all my— every dime I have is going toward my child because I wanna— I'm overcompensating because I want to give them more than what I had. And even though the jokers may not even deserve it. But because of how I feel and what I'm lacking, I want to go overboard with the children. That's a lesson, a hard lesson that I had to learn. Hard lesson that I had to learn as a mom. So you need to put you first, stop playing small, and live your life to the fullest. Is what you— but I, I— that's just what I had to learn, you know. I don't— I'm not telling y'all what to do and how to do it, how to live your life, but in order to get a different result, you have to do things different. And number one means— number one would be stop playing small. Stop playing small. Stop putting these kids first all the time. Stop dealing with men that don't value you and appreciate you. Stop playing small because you think that you don't— you're not deserving of a great man that will come in and be the head of that house and make sure everything is straight. He protects you, he provides for you, he pray with you, all these other things that you need. You can have that guy, but you have to learn what it means to be an asset woman first. Because what you would desire, you're not ready for. You're not ready for that. And you have to get ready for an asset man. Although I talk about being an asset woman, you got to remember, asset men are out there. Men who are stand-up guys, not just in the area of protection and provision, but he has integrity and character too. That's the man you want. But in order to attract that, there's a different type of woman you have to be. That's why I go against the grain with all of these uh, television shows about these boss chicks and boss bitches, and I need a man that's gonna come in and do this. No, he don't need to do that because you're doing that. Masculine man don't want a masculine woman. I operate in a masculine— sometimes I have to. We both have— we have those traits. I have to in order to be successful in business, but I put my masculinity away when it comes to relationships and men. Doesn't mean I'm downplaying or playing dumb. It's just I understand the male-female dynamic, that's all. When you understand that, you stop trying to compete and show him that I can do what he can do. I don't want to do what you can do. My job is to be your woman and be your wife. My job is not to show you that I can carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. That's on you. Like I said, when I started getting more in tune with April and I start realizing that I started changing even some of the things that I said— what, wait, hold on, Marcus, you said I sound 30 years older? Hey, I know I'm only 42, but wisdom, Marcus. I had to learn wisdom. I had to come off of that independent, strong, I can do it myself, I'm not dependent on anybody type deal. You know, I didn't want to be a boss chick anymore because boss chicks cry and get lonely at night too, regardless of what they want you to think. You know, boss chicks, they, you know, yeah, they have Bob, their battery-operated boyfriends, but they would rather have a the Bob, the human, the man that's there not only just to make love to them but to also be there to nurture them, to cater to them, to support them all the way around. So I didn't want to be that anymore. So it goes back to what I said earlier. Look at the result that you want. Who do you need to become to get that result? Just because I can do it by myself doesn't mean that I want to. And on the flip side, fellas, let me tell you this. Just because you see a woman handling it, handling it, if she still is a feminine woman and she still knows how to lean back and let you lead, don't look at where she drives, what kind of— where she lives, how she dresses, and assess her and think that she does not need you. She does. She's only doing what she's had to do. Now, I'm not talking about the woman that does not know how to lean back. I'm talking about the woman that has had to do for herself, but she's, she's desiring and she craves for you to take control. I was out this past weekend and one of the things that, um, he's probably watching, I had, I ran into my ex and we had a long conversation. One of the things that he said to me was April, you've always been an amazing woman. I just wasn't ready for you. And his friend was sitting there, and he said, he said, I could tell you're the kind of woman that you don't want to be in charge anymore. So my ex looked at him and said, one of the things that I've always admired and loved about her was although she can grace the stage and she can command the room and she's a very powerful woman, that's not always who she— that's not all she was. He said, and it was hard for me to wrap my, wrap my mind around a Black woman being successful, making her own money, making her own way, but at the same time she didn't have that bitch attitude. She was not overpowering and controlling. He said, I was the one that did not know how to deal with that, of her showing me that other side. Of her. As a man, I thought I wanted to be a power couple, and with her, we would have been. But he said out of his own mouth, I couldn't handle that because I didn't understand the complexities of who April Mason was. Y'all, when I say that, I was telling— me and my girl Tanya was out yesterday. When I told her what happened, she said, I respect him for even being able to come back and say that to you. And he said to me, I'm— although I'm married now you would have been— you were the one woman that I let get away that I should have married. And as a woman, it makes you feel good to know that, because sometimes what we do is we'll put— place all of the blame on us. Like, what did I do wrong? You know, why did you leave? What, what was it? And it's not always what we did wrong. Sometimes it's what we are doing right, and everybody isn't able to handle who you are. So fellas, I said that to say, just because a woman is not on welfare, she's not living a destitute life, she's just not in lack, doesn't mean that she does not need you. We need you. We're waiting for you to relinquish control. And we know— we're waiting to relinquish control. And his friend, like I said, told me, April, I can tell you're the type of woman that's that you're tired of being in charge. And so my ex looked over at him and said, yeah, that's her. She's— he said, I just didn't get it back then. I get it now. He says, April, everything that I'm doing now, you told me this almost 10 years ago. And when I'm sitting here with my business partners and we're talking, you come to mind because I'm like, April told me this. He said, I just wasn't ready for you. So fellas, if you had a woman in your life that was that and she's available, go back and apologize. Go back and let her know that it wasn't her. Go back and let her know that she was an amazing woman and she didn't do anything wrong. It was more of you were not able to appreciate her and you had to You had to become a more mature man. Tell her that. Tell her that. Because I'm not gonna lie to you, it made me feel really great when he sat there and he said that. I looked like, wow, you know. He said, I can't say anything about you of why I didn't— we didn't get together. He said, he said, if it weren't for me not being mature enough, you would have a husband right now. So fellas, if you have that woman in your life, or if you're still single and she's still single and you gained another level of maturity, go back. Let her know it wasn't her fault. You know, no, she's not perfect. I'm sure she's done things— like I told him, I said I wasn't perfect. He said, no, you weren't perfect, but you would have been perfect for me if I was mature enough to be able to accept and see who you really were versus my ego was in the way. I almost hit the floor, y'all, because it's not often that a man will come back and say that, say those things to you. So that was my nugget for the fellas. We don't always want to be in charge. I know I don't. I can't wait to drop everything, and not drop everything because I'm trying to be a moocher, but because I understand the order of the home. I understand that. So ladies, in order to attract men that understand the order of the home as well, You have to stop playing small. You have to stop playing small. LaDonna said, does going back apply to women as well? Yes, if you were a rotten woman in a relationship to a good man, you need to go back and apologize to him. See, what we do is we ghost people, we disappear, we don't give closure or anything, and we— that's a coward's way of operating in life. Go back if that person was good to you. Go back and say, you know, he might not even be available anymore. He might have moved on, but it's not gonna hurt you to say, you know what, it wasn't you, it was me. Okay, so I gotta go get something to eat. I gotta wake my baby up. Look at my baby. Look, y'all, she done fell out. She's sitting straight up sleeping. So I'm gonna go get my baby, go get something to eat. And but I wanted to share that with you, ladies. Stop playing small, because you playing small is keeping you from your— the type of man that you want. The money you need. It's keeping you living in lack. It's keeping you driving old— driving certain type of cars, living in certain type of neighborhoods, taking certain kind of jobs. You playing small is holding you up from everything. It's holding you up from everything that you say you want. Thank you. It's holding you up. So stop playing small. Go through the emotional pain that's going to come with change. That comes with the change. You gonna have to do it. So make sure also, in order to learn how to do it, that you join me on July 22nd here in Atlanta at the Georgia International Convention Center. It's going down. Now, if you're not ready to change, if you're not ready for tears, if you're not ready to, to be broken down, to be built back up, to be showing the raw you, do not come. Money is not everything to me. I don't need your money. I need you to become better women because when you become better women— oh, my baby didn't fail— when you could become better women, you— we, we help to change the next generation. And we have, we have all of these little girls now that wants to be boss chicks and bad bitches and I get my coin, it can't no man— they, they doing that right now. We don't want that. That's not what we want. So in order for us to become— to see a difference in the next generation, we have to be a different woman. We have to be a different woman. So love you guys. Mama, mama, mama, lean over that way, mama. We have to be a better woman. So in order for me to instill what, what I'm talking about now into my granddaughter, I had to become a new woman. Go to AprilMason.com to get your tickets, and if you're really about that life, you'll invest and join me the night before. It's going to be only for 10 women, and it's definitely— it's going to be real raw, and it's going to be more raw and uncut than what I give you on that Saturday. But it's only for 10 women. We will be in a luxury private location for 10 women on the night before that Friday, and it's going down. It's going down. We're gonna have a good time. We got food. We're gonna have laughter. We're gonna have tears. We're gonna have aha moments. We're gonna have breakthroughs. The night before. Make sure you join me, Invest in Yourself, the night before that, on that Friday, so you get Friday and then you get Saturday as well too. If you register for Saturday, you notice on, um, the registration form I asked what burning question do you have. Don't be surprised if someone gets called to be on the stage and be in my hot seat. Okay. Because I ask questions for a specific reason. But it's, it goes down. The event is, is Saturday, June 21st, but the night before you get private time with me and we're going to really dig deep into your issues. You'll have other, uh, 9 other women there to support you. I really want you there Friday. For those that can be there Friday, make it a point to invest in yourself and be there on that Friday night. All of that information, the VIP information, is on the website. Go to aprilmason.com. It's on the front page. And join me, join me, join me, join me Friday if you can, and Saturday. If you thinking, I gotta see what I gotta do in July— nothing. You ain't got nothing to do. We always find something to do when it comes to distracting us from becoming better. If you can, if you can buy a ticket to go to a concert 4 months in advance because it's entertaining. Aren't you valuable enough to where you can buy a ticket and to invest in yourself and becoming a better woman to get the results that you want? They already have the results that you want. They live in their lives. It's time for you to stop playing, playing small and watching others. I'll do whatever I have to do, and I've done whatever I have to do. I've invested in coaches, from different cultures on how to be more feminine because other cultures have more of a feminine— some other cultures have more, um, they're just naturally more feminine. Feminine— our femininity was beat out of us, so I had to learn how to get back to that. I've invested money in business and etiquette, a lot of different things, because I know the result that I want. And if it requires me to investing in myself for the long run is going to be worth it. So I've done it and I'm here to take you on that journey with me because you don't have to go through everything, every step that I had to go through. What I've done, mama, what I've done is I'm cutting the learning curve for you. You don't have to go through all of the hay, pain, and heartache if you just listen. Several ladies in our VIP Academy, one just got engaged. Another one is getting ready to get engaged because he just asked her ring size. The other one said, Miss April, I'm getting ready to send you an invitation to our wedding. Because they're following the steps. They're following it, and they didn't have to go through all of the pain and the brokenness and the lonely nights and dealing with all of the things that I've had to go with. I took what I've learned inside of that, and I'm showing you a formula of how you can get to it without having to deal with all of the other stuff. Now, you do have to go through your own, your own pain to get your breakthrough, but what you don't have to go through is every little step that I've had to go through because I, what I've done is I've took away the parts that were not really important, my own personal journey, and I'm giving you just the nuggets. Do this. And as I watch one of the ladies in our group, Miss Pat, she says, April, when I saw you, I followed, I saw, saw you. She's bought pretty much all of my products and she's followed all of the steps. And she says, I'm going to be your biggest testimonial. Because I've got tired of it. And I'm watching her soar. I'm watching the women in our Academy soar. And that's because they're, they're being intentional and they're taking responsibility for their lives versus saying, I don't need no coach, I don't need nobody. A girl child, what up? Then that's not what they're saying. I'm watching their results. I'm watching my own results. It was just so amazing that when I made the decision and said, you know what, maybe I need a man that's more on the retired end or headed toward retirement That's when they start showing up like clockwork. That's when they start showing up saying, I have more time. That's when they start showing up saying, what are you doing this weekend? You want to go on a trip? Because they have time. They have hobbies, but their hobbies don't have them. So it's like, we— I can do my hobbies, but I want to hang out with you too. I had to become a woman and stop playing small, taking what was given, in order for me to start attracting the type of men that I wanted in my life. And I'm so glad that I didn't do this beforehand because I didn't know because I could have been married. Our sister always have options. I could have been married a long time, remarried a long time ago, but I got to tell you, I'm so glad that I had not. Hey Patricia, you hear me talking about you? She says, April, yes, it's working. Honestly, it's surreal, but I'm still doing it. Thank you so much. That's who I was talking about in our, in our group. And you know, I love what, you know, Patricia's progress that I even asked her to be one of our board of advisors for our Arm and Asset Women's Network because I like to see women who are actually invested in using the information, and I'm watching them become better. Those are the type of women that I need around me to help continue to make the organization what it needs to be, because those are women that are invested and they are seeing the results. As she said, it's surreal, and it's very surreal when you start seeing the results of the work that you're doing. It can get scary, I'm going to tell you that. It can get scary because you're not used to having those type of results. Because you're thinking, I can only have this, or I'm only good enough for that. So you start the process, you take baby steps, and you keep going, and you keep surrounding yourself with people who are doing it, and you keep surrounding yourself more and more with people who are doing it, and then you start attracting those type of people. And next thing you know, you went from this caterpillar to a butterfly, and it feels weird. But guess what? The weirdness that you feel is natural. That's what it should have always been. You feeling like you're, you're good enough, that feeling like that you can have whatever you desire, you knowing that I can make whatever money that I want to make, there's no limits. That's normal. We've been, we've been trained that it's abnormal and to take what's given, hence playing small. It's like, you know, you are qualified for the job but you're afraid to apply for it. Why? Because we're taught you don't need all that, do the bare minimum. It's time out for being mediocre. It's time out for being average. Time out for being basic. If you don't want a basic man and an average man, you don't be basic or average. You attract what you are. So if you keep getting Bob the Builders, you gotta ask yourself, why do I, why do I feel the need to have to always build someone? That's because of your self-esteem level. And I'm only talking from personal experience. And it wasn't until a friend of mine, um, Dr. Rael Sims, he was a relationship coach out in Beverly Hills. What's wrong, Mama? Oh, oh, that it was in here. Thank you, Mama. Um, that told me back in 2010, I was on the 405 in LA and we were talking about men and he said, April, why is it that you feel like you're only good enough to attract men that you have to build or men that you are better than? That stuck with me. It took me a little while to, to understand it and get and go through the process, so I didn't do that anymore. And I did run across several men that needed building and stuff, but I had to be more conscious of what I was attracting. When he said that to me 8 years ago now, it stuck with me, and it had everything to do with how I viewed myself. I felt like I was good enough for business, and that was the only thing that I could offer a man. So that meant go get someone that wants to be an entrepreneur or on the grind, get that kind of guy who, you know, because you're already above him. I didn't want that anymore. So I have to look in the mirror and do the hard work and become the woman that's an asset woman. And what makes me an asset woman is not the fact that I can make money and can start a business. Business. It's who I am as a woman at my core, minus the businesses, minus the cars, minus, you know, where I live, minus my credit, minus, you know, minus, you know, any accolades or any awards or anything that I'm getting, minus all of the books that are in courses that I've created. Who am I outside of that? That's what makes me an asset woman and wife material, because I've taken the time to cultivate those parts. The same time, the same stuff you take, you go to college and you cultivate yourself so you can get this degree and you all of that, you need to spend that same time becoming an asset woman. And I'm going to show you how to do that on July 21st. Make sure you're in the building. And if you really bad about that life, you'll join me that Friday, July 20th. So love you, love you, love you. Have a wonderful day. You ready to eat now? You took a nap? You hungry? My baby, give me five. My pretty girl, my pretty girl, my pretty girl, my baby. So I'm about to go do grandma duty. We're gonna go eat. And yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am. Aunt bit you? Okay, we gonna bite them back. So love you guys. Have a great day. And remember what I said, ladies, stop playing small. And also, fellas, just because you see it looks like on the outside she got her ish together doesn't mean that she doesn't need you. If she's an asset woman and a woman that's working on being better, she's waiting on you to come in and take control and take the lead, and she has no problem relinquishing it. Now, a lot of women aren't like that. We have more women