Ready to Love Review

Well, hello there, Facebook. Hello there, Facebook, and hello there, YouTube. How's everybody doing tonight? Y'all know what time it is. This is April Mason, your number one femininity and dating coach for the successful woman, and for the fellas too, because you guys like to know what we talking about. So I give it to you on both sides. You know, this is a non-biased platform, or at least on my page is non-biased. You guys, I love the fellas because they always say, Miss April, you don't just take the woman's side all the time. You are on our side as well too. So it's a balance here. This— what you find here is a place where we're looking for solutions, not to point the finger, not the men do it too, the women do it too, women do it too. We're above that already, you know. We have, um, matured, darling. So we don't sit there and just talk about what men do and what women do. This is a solutions-based platform. So hey, my YouTube lovelies, I love you guys so much. Started with y'all in 2008 with my very first video, and I've been going strong ever since. And so I see y'all coming in tonight. Good evening, good evening. Oh, my VIPers are in the room. I see my VIPers in the room. So you guys saw the title of tonight's, uh, review. You guys have always asked me, hey, Miss April, when are you going to do some reviews? And I normally don't do reviews because I don't watch a lot of television. I'm not even gonna lie to you, I don't watch a lot of television, but when the show Ready to Love came out and I saw it, I definitely have to do some reviews and follow this because relationship— well, relationships and dating is more my platform. And I— you guys know that I talk femininity a lot, so more femininity in dating is more my platform actually than more relationships. But I believe that we have to get back to the art of dating. We try to get to the end so fast. We try to get to you know, what is it gonna be? Is he gonna be the one? Is she gonna be the one? That we no longer enjoy the art of dating. Hey, VIPers, I see y'all, I see y'all. You love my hair. Thank you, Crystal. You noticed I cut my hair, girl. Oh, cause you guys were in the VIP Academy, we talked on my way going to get my hair done today. So I actually cut my hair, y'all. I went a little shorter because what I'm doing right now is, um, I want to get back into my water aerobics, um, So I needed to something that I can get in the pool, but if I throw some, you know, a little mousse on it or whatnot, I can get back curly or something real quick and still be fly. You know, you should be able to work out and your hair should not be the reason why you don't stay fit. So I'm all about making sure that I'm in shape. So, you know, y'all done lost my 20 pounds, so I'm feeling myself. I'm feeling myself. I'm back in a size 8 dress, honey. I'm just saying. So I'm feeling myself. So I really believe that at 43 years old, grown children. I'm a grandma of 4 now. My son, you guys know my son and his wife just had a baby, and my daughter and her husband, they have 4. So, you know, it's like, I mean, I'm sorry, they have 3. So I want to be the fly grandma, you know, I'm just saying. All right, so let's get right into why we are here tonight because I'm not trying to keep you all night, but let's get right into why we're here about the show, um, Ready to Love, and it's based out of Atlanta. Now you guys know I do live in Atlanta and I'm a part of the dating thing. You know, I do date and it's been a— it's a different way of dating here in Atlanta than anywhere else I've lived. I lived in LA. You guys know I'm from the San Francisco Bay Area. I've lived in Dallas. I've lived in Ohio. Um, and I've visited quite a few places. You know, I've been quite a few places. So dating in Atlanta has been different than anywhere. So before I get into tonight's show, I'm going to give you a little bit of my, uh, assessment of dating in Atlanta. Now, for those of you that don't know, Atlanta is considered the number one dating, uh, single spot for, uh, African Americans. And, uh, what somebody said— April, I wasn't feeling it. What you say? I'm sorry, April. I'm not feeling it, and those ladies need to join the academy. Oh Lord, y'all is started already, y'all. Y'all just started already. Listen, y'all, let me get to this. Let me get to this, my VIPers. Anywho, um, I've been all, you know, kind of all over, and, you know, my job and what I do, um, has caused me to travel all over the place. And like I said, dating in Atlanta has been different than anywhere that I've ever been. And like, um, I'm getting— it was getting at before, uh, you gonna say that they need to be in the VIP Academy, girl. Was that many times what I've seen and what I've experienced here in my assessment, because a lot of my clients are my dating clients that I, you know, I do have something called an academy called Teach Me How to Date VIP Academy, but I also have private coaching. And majority of the women that are in my VIP Academy are successful, educated, high six-figure women. They have it all together. Hey, Larelle! They have everything all together, right? So those are normally my clients. And so I get to see on from a different perspective of the dating scene, you know. And with that, I also have male clients here in Atlanta that say that they can't find love and all that stuff as well. So I get to see, you know, both sides. So that's why Miss Mason is not all just team woman. She is team right, uh, team let's get it together, team let's work together, and team what the hell we fighting for anyway. So when you are in that space and then you are a woman that dates yourself here in Atlanta, this is what you get. You get, um, I find, and this is just my opinion, that in Atlanta, because we are considered the number one place for singles for African Americans, people here, single people here, have number one what I call the FOBO syndrome. And if you guys have been following me for any amount of time, you already know what the FOBO syndrome is. The FOBO syndrome is fear of better options. Meaning you go in the store, you buy a pair of shoes— or you're getting ready to buy a pair of shoes, you put them on, oh, them bad boys fit, they got your shoes looking— your feet looking right, every— you know, you can imagine the outfit you're gonna wear with and everything is right, right? But instead of walking out with those pair of shoes because they fit, they are a match, and they are going to go with everything else that, you know, you imagined in your mind, you put those shoes back and you go get another pair. You put— try those new pair on, it's like, okay, well, this is all right. But then you put those back, and then you get another pair, and you put those back. Next thing you know, you end up walking out with nothing. So in Atlanta, I feel like one of the biggest issues is people have the fear of better options here because there's a plethora of beautiful women here. And people always trip on, oh, it's 20 men to 1 woman. That means nothing to me because quantity doesn't equal quality. Every— just because there's 20 women, every woman, um, is not an asset woman. Every woman is not a feminine woman. Every woman does not is not a woman of value, a woman of purpose, and a wise woman. Every woman is not a gentle woman. Every woman is not a woman that knows how to, um, not try to win the battle and lose the war. So there's a whole lot of things. So for me, dating in Atlanta, I meet quality men, or men that are seemingly quality on paper, all the time. So that may— that's easy. That, for at least for me, it's very easy to meet those type, uh, you know, the guys that are considered the crème de la crème. However, the issue comes in with the fellas is— and ladies, what I'm about to say, I'm not, I'm not knocking us to the point to where it's all our fault, please understand that. But I am saying that we do play a big part. So because of the fear of better options syndrome, we, we tend to have to deal with, you know, that, right? So on the fellas' side, uh, well, before I even get to the fellas' side, let me, let me go back. In addition to the fear of better options With the ladies, we also see a lot of what I call— and I don't know how to— I should use that particular word, uh, I need a better word, but I call it corporate ratchet. But I don't mean ratchet, I mean more of— let me, let me explain. You see the women who look like myself, they're attractive people, they have— they're, they're educated, they're making their money. They drive nice cars, they live in nice areas, and they seemingly on paper they have their ish together. But the problem becomes they have not done their work on the inside, so they still ratchet on the inside. And I don't mean that they out there just— I'm just meaning, I'm using the term in the way of they have not developed who they are, so there's still a lot of shallowness on the inside. So on the outside they look the part, right? So now you have a lot of women that walk around looking like myself that don't have or have not done their healing work, you know, their, their work of becoming a, what I call, a feminine woman. Um, there's a lot of boss chicks and bad bitches in Atlanta. It's all about what I have. I'm a woman that's about my career. We, we have that, and there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with that at all. I'm a woman that's about her business, and I have several successful businesses, but one of the, one of my downfalls at the time before I became the woman that I am now is that I led with those things. So you see a lot of that in Atlanta, that a lot of women will lead with their accomplishments. And so when you do that, when a woman— a man comes across of me who has— looks like the other women, but she's done her work and she doesn't tolerate the BS and she doesn't settle for the foolishness He doesn't know what to do with that because he has not been working that muscle because the women that look like me have not been performing like me. And I'm not saying this to boast or brag, but I'm trying to get, get, get something to you. It's very important to do your work. It's very important that the more that us women do our work, the more the men are going to be like, okay, I can't just treat her any kind of way. Because what's happened is, and I, and I interview a lot of men, and it's— they— I've been told here in Atlanta April, the more beautiful a woman is, the easier it is to get over on her. Now, why would you want to get over on her? I don't know. Or it's the more beautiful she is and the more she has herself together seemingly on the outside and on paper, the lower her self-esteem is. So they put up with more stuff. So when they come across a me who teaches about being an asset woman and teaching about doing your self-work, they have not been used to dealing with that. So it's like I'm dealing with a woman that looks like and presents herself as far as on paper of what I'm accustomed to, but her insides are totally different. So they don't know how to treat a me, an asset woman, the women that I teach, the women that I train about what it means to be an asset woman. So it's easier for the guys to just say, this is— she too much work because she's asking me to be consistent. Oh my God, she's asking me to be, um, loyal. Oh Jesus Christ, she's asking, asking me to put in the effort. She asking me to call her versus texting her. She's asking me to pursue her. These other women didn't require a lot of that, okay? But they look like me. So these fellas, if they're only used to dealing with this, when they come across a you, it's foreign to them. So then it becomes, wow, when are the fellas going to do their work and raise their standard of the type of woman that they want and not just want someone that looks good on paper? So The FOBO syndrome is an issue right here in Atlanta that I see. And the women who look like me are successful like me, their insides aren't like mine. They don't have a lot of self-worth, a lot of value for themselves. They, they value who they are based upon what they do. And you guys know April Mason doesn't teach that. Um, so with that, it's kind of like, you know, everybody's walking around with their ish together. On paper, but what kind of work are you doing on the inside? So you guys know, like I said, I'm not here to bash the women. I'm saying, ladies, we can't just look the part, we have to be the part. So that's what I see in Atlanta. On the flip side, with the fellas, once again, it goes back to they're not used to having to pursue because there's so many women pursuing them. So they're not using that muscle of pursuit, right? So now when you come across a woman like myself who likes to be pursued, and I will reciprocate if you show me you're interested, I will reciprocate. I will answer your phone calls. I'm not going to play the texting game. Oh, he text me and I'm gonna wait 7 hours to text him back. No, because I'm grown. I'm not going to do that. So a lot of the fellas are used to the game playing, but because of the type of women that they choose, this is what they get. That's what they get. On top of that, the next thing is a lot of— in my opinion, and from what I hear from my clients and, and the women that I train, and even some of the men— a lot of the men that I've— that I have as coaching clients they're used to being Captain Save 'Em. So if a woman does not have a lot of drama in her life or anything they need to be saved from, she's not exciting. I had to tell one guy, even somebody I went out with a couple years ago, I said you couldn't date me because I don't have enough drama for you. You know, you chose another woman that bust windows out your car because I text you and called her baby daddy to pick you up from the movies, and you're on a date with her, but you chose her over me because you said April, you're an amazing woman, you don't have all that drama. But because I didn't, it wasn't exciting to him. He admitted that later on, but it wasn't exciting to him. And so a lot of our men are damaged psychologically. Not saying you have to stay that way. And also in Atlanta, you have men that feel like, because I have a good job, a nice car, I'm making six figures or high six figures or even seven figures, that I don't have to develop the inside of who I am. I don't have to really have character. I don't really have to have a lot of integrity. I really don't have to really work those muscles of being an upright guy because Women have let me know that long as I have a nice car, I have a degree, I have some money and a good job, and I might be able to put it down in the bedroom, that's all that's required. So we have, as women, once again are taking away them having to develop because we're not requiring much from them. 2015 to 2016, I did a poll of over 2,000— excuse me, 1,000 men, and I— and one of the questions was why don't men pursue anymore? And I would say 98% of them said because women don't require it. So whatever we require is what they're going to give. If collectively we up our standard to, to what should be basic, then I believe that the fellas would respond differently. But it makes it difficult when you are a really quality woman. You're not looking at just what you may— how much money a man make, how— what he look like. You're really looking for substance. When a lot of these men have not developed substance because once again they're just— these women are just happy to have, uh, a man around. Well, and I had one tell me, and he is a CEO of a major company here in Atlanta. We met last year and, uh, we talked on the phone, everything was good our first conversation. I think I've told this story before. By the second half of the quality— the conversation, it went left. It went to whatever, anything he wanted to do with me with his tongue. I said, but you just met me. You don't know where I've been and what I do, have done, and what I did with, and you would just be willing to do that? Well, his whole thing, he told me, he said, April, here's the deal. I'm a black man in Atlanta. I'm over 6 feet. I have a good job. I don't have to do all of the other stuff. And I said, I looked at him as research at that point. I said, hmm. I said, tell me what you mean. He says, well, see, a woman here, and women here in Atlanta think that they can cook for you, or that they can give you a blowjob or something like that and try to show you what it is in the bedroom. He said, but it's more, um, that I need from that. You don't need to help me build my dream and all that. What else you got other than that? He said, so you could just take them on a vacation, buy them a purse, spend a great weekend with them, and then that's it. This is what this man is telling me. And he's a— he will be considered top of the food chain in Atlanta because he's one of the top CEOs here. And I said, wow, so you thought that it was gonna be that easy with me? And he said, well, I meet women that look like you all the time. I said, yes, you meet women that look like me and present themselves like me on paper, but baby, please understand, you don't meet a woman like me all the time. Let me, let me explain that. You do not meet a woman like me all the time. So I kind of used him as research, and, you know, he was so— he came after me very tough. But I just didn't give him the time of day because I know what you are used to, and I'm not trying to be the one to train you or tame you. I just wanted to use you as research at that point. But it made a lot of sense because, ladies, sometimes we disagree with what these men are saying, but if they're saying a lot of the same things, we have to pay attention to it. So with that, I listen. I listen to what my male clients here in Atlanta say. I listen to what my female clients here in Atlanta say, and it's the same story. And I'm like, the reason why we can't connect is because we're not trying to connect on a more interpersonal level. It's about what you have. I believe people in Atlanta look at what you have versus who you are. And I know being down here in the South, you know, being in the Mecca, you know, people were told to come to school and get their education. I think what happened is we let being educated and having money and having good credit override the character, integrity, and the things that you should be looking for in a partner. So no, I'm not saying having those things are bad. No, I'm saying don't let those things be what you lead with as women. So let's get into the show and some of the things that I saw. Who watched the show? If you watch the show, say I watch the show, and then give me a thumbs up or thumbs down. How you feeling about it? Hmm. Hey y'all on YouTube, I see y'all. I ain't forget about you. I ain't forget about you. So this is what I got. From watching the show. Y'all know I have to put my good glasses on because I cannot see, but this is what I got from the show. One of the things that I noticed was that the women were attracted to the men from merely a physical state for the most part, because if you notice at the end, the men— the two men that they chose had everything to do with how they look. Oh, he got the abs. He, he's nice body. He's tall, dark, and handsome. He's bald-headed. All those kind of things, right? That's what they chose the top 2 for. I think the top 2 were Alex and, uh, who was it? Alex and Aaron. Alex and Aaron, right? Here's the thing, I gotta say, I love Stormy and Pastor. Chris. I like the fact that they connected. And here's the thing, people might say, oh no, she a DJ, she don't want to, um, she don't want to be with the pastor. Okay, let me give you a little insight. Let me give you insight. My ex-husband was a pastor, and my last relationship that ended 4 years ago was with a pastor. Okay, and a lot of the ladies on the show were like, no, you got to be this way and that way to pastor. Let me say something to you before y'all say that those two don't go together. Pastors are the biggest freaks, okay? Let me say that. One of the things that my ex loved about me, which we, we went out, um, he came to visit me last year in Atlanta and we were talking about it and he said, April, I'm trying, I'm dating two women and, and I'm trying to figure it out. He said, one, um, she is spiritual, I can get wise counsel from her, she looks the part, you know, she's very nice and sweet and she's just a people person. And I said, well, what about the other? He said, the other one, she ain't got no God in her nowhere. I said, really? He said, she, you know, she smoked weed sometime, but she'll ride on the back of my motorcycle. And she was saying all this, he was saying all this stuff, right? I said, okay, here's the deal. You're trying to make one me. And he said, I think I am. I said, because I have the spiritual, I can give you wise counsel, I can be there for you, I look the part, I make a great first lady. But at the same time I have fun. We can go dancing, we can ride motorcycle, we can do whatever we want to do. And I said, the spiritual one is trying to get you from a spiritual standpoint, but she don't understand that the bishop like you when you with him with your short skirt on and your titties out. Where— so she trying to grab you from a merely a spiritual standpoint, but this one over here, she ain't got no God in her to the point— well, she don't have no wisdom in her that she can't give you no wise counsel. She can't be there for you when you need her on the more spiritual thing. So you're trying to put together one woman. So I said that to say it's a strong possibility that DJ Stormy and Pastor Chris could actually make a very good combination because I've been in the position being a former first lady and my ex was a, uh, my ex was a, he'll be considered a mega pastor because he was a bishop. He's a bishop now. So he will be considered that. So a lot of times, you know, You might not think opposites attract like that, but I knew who I was dealing with. I knew when he was the man, and I knew when, um, you know, he's the bishop. So I knew that when we went out, when we are on vacation, oh no, uh, cleavage, skirts, everything was on point because he was still a man. So don't knock out Pastor Chris too fast and Stormi. I think it would be a beautiful thing. I think she would balance him out. I think they would balance each other out. Because I've been in that position. And I think he likes her sexy, he likes her tattoos. I think she can have intellectual conversations with him, and I think that they can really, really get to know each other on that level to where it's like, wow, pastor never thought he was gonna be with a DJ. And once again, being someone in that position, I knew, I knew how to play it. And so my ex would be like— he's still single now— he's like, April, I can't find a woman with that balance. I said, do you need me to talk to the women that you date? To let them know, don't be too spiritual because he still want to see you with the titties out when he with you. So don't be trying to get to him through prayer, baby, because that ain't it. He's still a man and he still likes the femininity and softness of a woman. So I said, let me know who you like, babies, and I'll pick them out for you. Let me— I'll give them a little, little help to show them how to lock you in because they ain't been able to lock you in. And see, he and I are still friends, so we just didn't make it because I don't— you know, for our reason, I don't want to be a first lady, um, and some other things. But I get it. So don't knock them two out. So moving on. Now here's the thing, everybody was upset, all the women were upset with Mike, right? Mike and Shay. But here's the thing, Mike did exactly what men do. He was on point. He saw what he liked and he went after it. Okay, so he and Shay were together the whole time because He saw what he liked and he went for it. There was no need to try to go through all of these other women. The other women were mad, like, is he even interested? He did exactly what a man is supposed to do— see what he likes, make a beeline over there to it, and go get it. Let me get to know her a little bit. Let me, let me, let me, let me see, let me see. And that's the kind of man that you want. Like, um, for those of you that came to my, um, my, uh, Teach Me How to Date, our VIP Academy, our anniversary. On the dance floor that night, you guys saw there was a guy on his way to go get a drink for another woman. He saw me, he made a beeline, and he stayed with me the entire night getting to know me. That's what men do when they see what they like. It's like it could be a whole lot of other women in the place but if they see what they like and they're feeling your vibe, they're not going to go nowhere. He just came and said, boom, I like her, I like her responses, I like what she said, she's beautiful, she's like a little angel. I mean, he went in. So we can't really be mad at Mike for going after Shay, and other women feel like he did not give them a shot. That's because he went after what it was that he saw that he wanted. Boom! Isn't that what we want, ladies? We want a man that, that can make a decision quickly. So the other ladies was thinking about voting him off, and I'm like, no, leave Mike, leave Mike, because he knows what it is that he wants. I'm like, uh, leave him alone. So I like, I, I like that. One of the only downfalls that I had about Mike is in his interview process when he said you know, it's hard to approach women if she's in the gym. How do you approach her? She with her kids, how do you approach her? She's doing this, how do you approach her? No, no, you just approach her. You find a way in. So you can't use that as an excuse because I felt like he used that as an excuse of why not to approach. Fellas, if a woman is at the gym and she has her headphones on and you want to get her attention, get her attention, and she's gonna take them off, say yes, you know what? 'How long are you gonna be on that machine?' Or, uh, you make a little flirty, you know, 'The way you walking on that machine, girl, I had to ask you, where in the world are you going?' Make her smile, you know. So it's always a time that you can approach a woman. So we can no longer use that 'fellas' as an excuse. Women love confident men. We like you to approach us with confidence. You see her with her kids and the kids are crying and she doing all this stuff like Mike said, you say, 'Excuse me.' Um, excuse me, but I know your kids are crying and whatnot. Or you see the little boy and you say, hey little fella, what, what's wrong? Why you, why are you crying? What's the, what's the deal? What's the— you, you want this cereal? Mama, can he have the cereal? Okay, Mama, I'm about to go buy this young man this cereal so, so he, you know, so he'll stop crying and he can calm down because, you know, you probably had a long day and I just want to ease some pressure up off you. Boom. What'd you say, Linda? Wish that they— that you were on the show as a love coach. I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I would have been great. I think I would have been great. But something else will come down the pipe for Miss Mason. But anywho, that's how you do that. There's no— if you see what you like or see somebody that interests you, you make a beeline and take your behind over there and find your in. And a woman who is interested, if you make us laugh, fellas, make us laugh, kiki, a little bit. I promise you, it normally, it normally will work out for you. Even though she might not be the one, you at least get a date out of it to get to talk to her and see what's what. Now, Devon, or Devin, I think his name is, um, with the dress— thing about Devin was he made it too much about business. And I think he seemed like he was there to network. But one of the things that I love that he said was he's trying to find out how to date. That's what he said. So I don't knock him too much because he identified that he really doesn't know how to date. He need to come— he need to come, uh, be one of my Teach Me How to Date, uh, private coaching clients. I could show him how to do that. But, um, he did talk a lot about business, and it seemed like he was into more of the, like, networking and talking about, you know, what he does, blah blah blah. Okay, now the one that got to go bye-bye, that got to go bye-bye, um, is Paco. Paco gotta go bye-bye, um, and he didn't present well. You know, he did say he cheated on both of his wives. We don't know why, um, he didn't get into that. We don't know the— we don't know the, the, uh, the backstory, so I can't judge him on that. But what I am assessing is that The last statement that he made about if a woman cheated on him, he wouldn't take them back regardless of what he's done. That's a problem because to me, that's, that's not only is it a double standard, it says to me that you may intentionally go out and do stuff. Um, and if I did anything, you, you hold me to an extremely higher standard than you hold yourself. So Paco would have to go. Um, for me. Now, I do like Ashley and Devin together. I like her. She's young, but I love her bubbly personality. I love— she's eccentric just like Devin is. And so one of the girls said Devin gotta go because he, he don't, he don't have no conversation. But Ashley was like, oh no, he stimulated me. He talked about everything, you know, and I was sitting on the edge of my seat. So I think those two should get to know each other, uh, a little bit better. Now let's talk about— I think her name is Melinda and Aaron. Melinda's 45, but Aaron is 34, if I'm not mistaken. And she was all googly-eyed behind Aaron. Me personally, I would have to pass up on Aaron, um, being 34 years old. And he walked around showing everybody his abs, talking about it was hot. If it's hot, you take your shirt off. If you showing your abs, you raise your shirt up. And so, um, I don't feel like that would, uh, be a good match. But this is what I noticed about the ladies when they were asked about who they wanted to stay. It was the chocolate guys. He's tall, dark, and handsome. Majority of the show, I didn't hear much about people were saying about substance. Now, getting to Tiffany, Tiffany is a beautiful woman, and I could tell she had some substance. I— but her— she— but she did have a little extra. A lot of the women had that strong, independent demeanor is what I saw. Hopefully throughout the show we get to see them, you know, bring that down a little, little bit. Um, and on the preview, Alex— I saw Alex did tell Tiffany, you too strong for your own good. She said, no, you too— I'm too strong for you. But I kind of picked that up anyway as a woman, and I want to see how that actually plays out because a lot of times, Phil, I ain't gonna lie, we, we are a little gun-shy, a little bit, you know, a little shell-shocked because we'd have been through some things. But we also have to learn that if love is what we desire, that we have to take down just a little bit. I had to learn that, y'all. I've been through some things, so I've had to learn that enough to allow someone to show me who they are, you know. And not be hard all the time. So, uh, so that was those two. But Melinda and Aaron, uh, I don't know. Aaron strikes me as a playboy. Uh, that's just me. Aaron strikes me as a 'I'm going— I'm gonna be a serial dater' kind, but 'I'm not gonna pick anybody.' That's how he strikes me. Uh, I might be wrong, but it seems like he doesn't know how to Choose. He say looking for something real, but you wouldn't show all the women your abs. So you're leading with the physical. And a lot of the women on the show, if you go back and watch it, everything was about the phys— oh, he mine, he just like I like him, tall, dark, and handsome. And this— no, to me that was the wrong thing. Another one of the mistakes that I believe that they made is they slept on Darnell. Darnell was the 36-year-old. He was the shy, the one they friend-zoned, right? They say, well, he's like a friend, like a little brother. He doesn't talk much. But here's the thing, no, none of the women asked Darnell questions about him in a way to get him to talk about himself. See, I've dated a shy guy before, um, and one of the things that I realized is they're not as shy as you think they are once you stop making it all about what you can get from them and how they can serve you, and you find out what makes them tick. If they would have asked him stuff about, well, what are your qual— what are your hobbies? Or ask him something about working out, because he did have— Alex had a nice body, but, uh, Darnell, uh, yeah, his body was on fleek too. But they never inquired more about him. So ladies, here's a, here's a tip. If you're going out with a guy and he seems kind of shy and reserved, ask him about the things that he likes to do. Look at what, like, how, what he dresses, what kind of watch he might have on. Like, when I see a guy with it, like, an Invicta watch on, I normally— they collect those. So I said, oh, so you're a watch collector, huh? Or, what made you think that? I could tell by the watch that you have. You know, most men, once they get one, they have a whole lot of them. Well, actually, I do have a watch collection. So what is about this watch? Um, that you, you, that you like. Or if he work out, be like, okay, look, I see you work out and everything, and I see you touching— I see the muscles through your shirt and everything. All right, this is what I want to do. I want to tone up some stuff and lift some stuff and push some stuff out. What would you think? That— what should I start? You get them talking about what they're interested in versus saying, oh, he too shy, he not— he's not for me. Because now you're looking at what you can get versus what you can give. And what I'm, I'm suggesting is you look at what you can give as far as conversation-wise and make it about him for the moment. It's not always about you. So a lot of— there's a lot of guys that are out there that are shy. They don't really know how to talk to women. And you, once you pull out, or once you see and say, you know what, this guy has some good qualities After that, you say, hmm, he's a little bit shy. Ask him questions about things that are genuine interest to him to get him talking. It breaks that. But too many women out here trying to, you know, y'all going after tall, dark, and handsome. And you look at, you know, I liked Alex. I did like Alex. What do you call it, the chocolatissery? I liked Alex. But the thing is, him and Pastor Chris were being slept on. But those two would probably make great husbands, to be honest with you. I'm looking at their demeanor, how they speak. Um, they're reserved to a little bit, but they're open just enough. So we got to stop looking at just the exterior because majority of the ladies on the show said, oh, he's fine, he tall, he hot, dark, and handsome, he got the beard, he got this, look at his body. Blah blah blah. One, even on the preview, one girl said, girl, I didn't imagine having sex with him already in my mind. It's all the physical. That's what I'm talking about. But the ones that came across genuine, but they weren't bad boy types, or they weren't— I wouldn't say bad boys— they weren't as, um, maybe verbal, or they weren't as, uh, outgoing, I guess, for lack of better words. They weren't, you know, like trying to shine. They were kind of reserved a little bit, kind of sitting back watching. The ladies didn't pick them. They wanted, um, Darnell to go home. You mean my little brother? You looked at him as a little brother because you never picked anything, um, gave him anything as far as asking him questions about himself. So a couple of the guys were overlooked. Because they didn't know how to engage. No, uh, Lola, I'm not on the show. I'm not on the show. But they didn't know how to engage, um, these men in a way that gets them to talk to so you can find out more pertinent information. I'm a woman like this. When I go out on a date, I'm going out and I'm getting to know you. So my questions are not about not looking at what you can do for me because Once I find out more about you and who you are, you talking about you, you're going to tell me what you can do for me, and I'm going to make that assessment of, okay, well, I like his character, I like his integrity. I ask certain questions, um, like for instance, um, a guy that I'm seeing, uh, I asked him today, and it did— this is what I mean by being able to find out. So one piece of information can show you another piece of information. He's out of town. But he calls while he's out of town with his job. So today we got to talking and he said, he whispered because he couldn't talk, he said, hey babe, I got another job offered and I had to turn it down. They were making a whole, it was making a whole lot more money than what I'm making now. I said, okay. And I said, let me ask you this. I said, you're not going to take that position, you turned it down. And I said, why is that? He said, well, because I want to finish what I started. I got into this company, I made this, you know, adjustment. They came after me and they wanted me to be a part of the team, and it took several months. And, you know, CEO said you— they really wanted me, so I kind of vetted it some, and then I finally said okay after a couple months. So I would like to finish what I started. And as my next question was, if everything was in place where you needed it to be at the company, now that you're in this position and you got everything straight and this other opportunity came, would you take it? He said yes, because everything else I left in good shape. Everything else was— I transformed it. That told me a whole nother part of who he was. I got him talking about his job, but by talking about his job, let me know the kind of man that he is. He's thorough, he's going to finish what he starts, he's loyal, he's committed. So that let me know other things. So I didn't have to make it about me and say, so are you a commitment phobe? Do you believe in committing? No, I got into what was important to him, his job, and I found out exactly what I needed to find out. To check some things off of my list, to say, okay, he has no problem with commitment and he's going to stick with what he starts. So that's what I mean by asking them questions that are going to get them to give you an answer that will be beneficial to you. So his answer about his job and the loyalty that he has to it gave me the answer of how he would be with me. Am I making sense? Does that make sense to you? If I'm making sense, say making sense. So ladies, that's why I say it doesn't always, um, have to be about us. And one girl was like, well, he didn't let me talk. Well, the thing is, if you would have asked him the certain, certain questions, you would have found out certain answers that you wouldn't have had to sit there and tell him all the stuff, you know. And so I just believe that As women, sometimes we make it so much about us and what we can get that we don't know that we can still get it. But it's learning how to talk and ask questions about them that gets them talking, that will answer the questions that you have with it. So, um, that was, you know, what some of the things that I saw. And I will say a lot of the women were a little bit more aggressive, um, and I felt like they were not having dialogue, they were interviewing. And what I'm, I'm saying, have a dialogue, and in your dialogue, put in things that would answer the questions that you would be interviewing them on. Because a couple of them sound like interviews. So, are you ready for love? Are you ready for a commitment? Are you ready for the— that's not how you figure that out. You look at other areas of their lives that are important to them. To determine where they really are. You know, that's how you do that. And that's why I teach the way that I do in the VIP Academy, because you have to learn how to dialogue better because nobody wants to sit there and, and be interviewed. I was on a date, uh, was it earlier this year? I think so. And he took me to this old expensive restaurant. You know, he was impressed, trying to impress this But he was like, so do you have any questions for me? I'm like, we're not on an interview. I find out what I need to find out by just talking to you. So he had a bunch of questions for me, and I felt like I was on like my third round of interviews. That's not how you do that. And needless to say, we never went out again. Um, that's not how you do that. Just be open and have general conversation, but know how to ask specific questions inside of the conversation so it doesn't come off offensive, so it doesn't come off like you're interviewing, so it doesn't come off like a person can tell, oh, they checking that off the box, they checking out the box, and they checking it off the box. Don't do that. So I find that a lot of the women on the show were a little bit more aggressive than I would have liked them to be. Um, I don't know how it's going— this going to, you know, turn out in other episodes. This was just only episode 1, so we'll be here every Tuesday. After the show to see how things are going. But that's what I found. I, I think the men did what they were supposed to do. And some women say that, oh, some of the men should have been a little bit more aggressive. No, I think as a woman you need to know what type of man that you're dealing with. Darnell is not an Alex. Darnell is more of a reserved, laid-back, kind of quiet kind of guy. He strikes me as a guy that's kind of cater to you. He's kind of a pleaser. Not in a bad way, but he wants to make sure his woman is straight. As you heard him say, the reason why his last relationship ended is because she cheated on him. So he strikes me as that kind of guy. So he needs a woman that can appreciate his subtleness, appreciate the fact that he's not overly aggressive. He's a man's man, but he's not overly aggressive like on Married to Medicine. Um, Dr. Heavenly is more aggressive. Her husband is more laid back. And more subtle, you know. And with that, um, they balance out. Because loyalty to his job means nothing. Some men just love money. Some men are great at making money. But, oh, but Carla, that's not what— you missed my whole point. It's not about being loyal to his job. That wasn't the whole thing. See, you missed the point. You looked at loyalty to his job. What I looked at, the fact that he had a certain level of commitment and loyalty. The job really didn't play a part in it. That's what I mean by being able to be a wise woman and knowing how to decipher information. So yes, he's loyal. He was loyal to his job, but it had, for me personally, him saying that had nothing to do with the job and everything to do with the fact that he understood commitment and that he had, uh, he understood loyalty. This is what I mean. That's why I say, ladies, we got to dig deeper than the surface. You took what I said as, don't he go into a job because he like money and blah blah blah blah blah. Nah, that ain't how I took it. But as a wise woman, I understand how to read that. And that— and it's not just that, it's also, um, the other pieces of conversation that we've had, you know. So it's not just the loyalty to his job, it's the fact that he understood loyalty and commitment and follow-through on what he had— was going to do. So that let me know, for the right woman, he has those same kind of qualities. For the woman that's for him, he's not going to treat her one way and do something, uh, you know, it's his movement. You gotta see, ladies, you got to understand, you have to learn a man's movement, and you learn his movement by the things that he enjoys doing. No, Tyree, he's not chasing money either. He's definitely not chasing— he don't have to chase money. He understands who he is. And I asked that question and that was it. Not necessarily for you, Carla, because you may not understand how to decipher it, context, you know, you might not understand that. So with that I'm gonna let you have that. But a woman like myself and asset women that I teach, we understand and we check off certain things off the list. Now, because he said that, I'm seeing if he's going to adhere to that. But guess what? Before he even said that, he showed me that. So I was already in the ballpark already, because from day one he showed me that he was committed and loyal and all those things. But when he said it today in regards to his job why he wasn't going to go get the more money. It matched what he has been showing to me, period. What if they lied? That's on them, Linda. You know, I don't, I don't sit back worrying about if they lie. I sit back and I allow them to show me. Carla said, I would prefer them to— if I had given— if I prefer if he had given me a history on his relationship with women. I don't care about his history on relationship with women because guess what? See, this is what I mean, y'all. I'm teaching more than y'all saying amen. Let me show you something. Based upon how a man is right now in his life, that tells you the kind of women that he's accustomed to dealing with. Because women, we shift, we inspire, we, we, we, we want— make men want to change. So as a wise woman, I know by the type of men— I mean, by the type of women that a man has dealt with, by the time he gets to me, when he's dealing with me, I can identify the type of woman that he's accustomed dealing with. It's very simple. It's very, very simple. Very simple. But we have to get out of the mode of looking for stuff that's wrong. But they be lying, they be this— it's gonna all come out. It's going to all come out. But only a wise woman, an open woman, a woman that's looking to sit back— a feminine woman, she sit back to receive. And she lets a man show her who he is and she makes an assessment. We don't go in trying to change and trying to do all this other stuff. That's the problem. At the end of the day, I would be able to tell if this man said— after— even though he said, you know, he wasn't going to leave the job because he was committed and all that, I would be able to tell as a wise woman if that was true on a relationship standpoint. It's their actions, it's their words, it's their patterns. And then at the end of the day, if it ain't— if those things still ain't right, you don't know. Uh, Carla said, but their history don't lie. Yeah, but they can lie about their damn history. That's what I'm telling you. See, you're not being a wise woman at the moment. I would rather know about their relationship history. If, if they cheated and did bad and was doing all of these things, do you think they're gonna tell you all that? Come on now, their actions will tell you, their patterns will tell you. So like I said, before he told me anything about his loyalty on his job and staying with the job because he started something, he was already showing me that from day one when we met. So all it does was, to me, was confirm what he said. Now, if I wouldn't have seen that already I would have another story, but I've seen it. So you have to be a wise woman in order to know that— 'I want to know about their relationship history.' They're not going to tell you that. They're not gonna tell you how many women they slept with. They're not gonna tell you how many women they hurt. They're not gonna tell you how many women they lied to. They're not gonna tell you how many women they cheated on. Then I'ma tell you, they're not there. They're not. But what you say, but Carlos, you said, but true, but in time, trust you will figure it out. Yeah, but see, I'm not, I'm not in a place, and I don't, you know, a lot of women are in the place of they are looking for ish. I'm not looking for anything. I'm going to let you show me and I'll make my assessment off of that. I go in, and what I teach my ladies to do is go in saying it's about what I'm— what I need in my life, not trying to figure him out. He's going to show you eventually. But when you sit back and you are, you know, that don't mean nothing, he could be this, he could be that, you already setting yourself up to look for stuff that might not even be there. So They're not gonna tell you everything. You got— that's right, you got to show me. So I only use that analogy to say I've seen what he's— before he said it, I already saw it. So I'm like, okay, so he doesn't have a problem with commitment and being loyal. Okay, I see that. But when he said it, it just even— it was just more confirmation for me. So whatever you focus on is what it's going to be. So if that's what you focus on— I want to know their relationship history— like, they're gonna just come out and tell you because you wouldn't tell them how many— what's up? You don't tell them about your body count. And what— and I hate when people say don't rush it. It's not even about a rush it. A lot of times people think that when two people come together and they get together quick, they rush it and they don't know. When you operating from spirit— and I've already taught you guys this When you're operating from spirit and you're dealing with two mature adults and you both know what you want, you both have done your self-development, it don't take all day to recognize sunshine. If you, if you watched, um, you know, Will Smith said when he saw Jada, when they finally got together, he called him, was like, are you seeing anybody? She said no. He said, well, you seeing me? It don't take all day at all. He said, when I saw her, I knew that we would make good, have, make, have good chemistry, make great things happen together. It doesn't take all day. So everybody, oh, don't rush it, don't rush it. That's why you shouldn't keep to have sex before this. Sex ain't got nothing to do with it at all. You better not have sex before you know exactly where you're at. Sex ain't got nothing to do with it. My kids' grandparents met and in 2 weeks got married. They've been married 49 years. One of my friends, Tia, Tia, I don't know if you on here, But she met her husband in 45 days. They've been married over 20 years. I look at Fantasia's story. She's been married 3 years, met her husband in 3 weeks. Um, um, another person that I know, you know, they got me— so you can't put your time limit on nothing because at the end of the day, when you're dealing with 2 mature people, uh, it doesn't work. It's different. Wade said, but it takes time to get to know someone. My friend Joe been married over 27 years. He said, April, I learned something new about my wife all the time. I'd be like, I ain't know that. So see, that, that's where we miss it. People can spend 5, 10 years getting to know somebody, get married, and they still don't know them. So it's not about what you're getting to know on that level. It's about operating from spirit, knowing what you want, knowing who you are, knowing what you need, understanding who you are at your core, having self-worth, having confidence. It doesn't take all day. If I meet a man today and he meets my core needs and we say, you know what, this is what we gonna do in a short amount of time based upon his core needs matching my core needs and my core needs matching his core needs, we gonna hook up. Doesn't mean that I know all of it. Okay, he leave his socks on the floor. Oh, he got this little habit that he likes to do this. Oh, it doesn't mean that I don't have to get to know him still, but the deal has been made because we meet our core needs. That's what that is. When the core needs are met, everything else would be compromised. As far as, you know, he like to go watch the game, I don't. He likes to— or she, she may like me to go to the opera, I don't want to do that. Or, you know, I don't always clean up behind my— I'm a stickler of— I ain't gonna lie, y'all, I have a thing about leaving tops on us off of stuff. So, you know, at the end of the day, babe, I ain't gonna leave you because you my girl. I don't mean his corny, but can you just please put tops back on stuff? And so at the end of the day, people that's writing stuff like, wait, people pretend and all that stuff, you're always going to meet people who are going to pretend. My prayer is always, God, I want to meet someone like me, authentic like me, knows what she wants. Ready for it, emotionally available, someone who, um, it doesn't take them all day to make a decision, someone who wants what I want, we want, we can amplify together. When you view it from that perspective, you're going to attract people that are like you. But when you always looking at what they aren't and they always trying to play game and run game, you're going to always continue to run across those people. Now I'm not saying that you're not going to run across people that going get in and play game, I ran across that, but at the end of the day, it doesn't change my perspective on what it is that I desire. I have to have a very decisive man. I can't have no man that's gonna take all day to make a decision about me. No, I need to— he needs to know, okay, I see the qualities that she has, that's my girl right there, period. Doesn't mean he doesn't have to get to know me as far as my likes, my dislikes, but based upon who I am, I match like the piece to the puzzle his core needs and he matches mine. We try to do all of this other stuff and we never get our core needs met. So you can easily eliminate people by finding out what your core needs are, accepting those. And when you meet somebody today and they meet them, it's like, okay, this person meet my core needs. Now I might not like how she cook, but okay, I can hire somebody to cook, we take some cooking lessons, or I could be the cook. Or it could be, you know, I don't like the way that he does something, but I ain't going nowhere because he meets my core needs. Too many people are out here walking around picking people not based on core needs, and you wondering why it's not working out. Oh, it takes forever to get to know some person or somebody. Yes, it'll take a lifetime to get to know somebody, but when a person meets your core needs the energy is right and it just gel, it don't take all day to make a decision if you want to be with them. But it doesn't take away the fact that you— there's still things you got to get to know. When you get married on your wedding day, you don't know everything about that person. You will never ever ever know everything about that person. So too many people— you got to take the time to get to know somebody. Okay, how long is that? Okay, how long will that be? Because my friends that have been married 40— I mean, a 40-some year, my kids' grandparents, and my friends have been married 20-some years, they still finding out new stuff about their spouses. So how long does it take to get to know somebody? What does that look like? And I believe it takes longer when you don't know who you are, when you haven't identified what you need, when you are not spiritually grounded, when you have no wisdom. It's gonna take you forever, or it's gonna take you forever to make a decision to pick somebody, but it's going to take you forever— like, like, right, Carla? A lifetime to get to know someone. So with that, there's other components. When you— core needs, spiritual, I mean spirituality, wisdom. I believe every woman should understand what— how to be a feminine woman before she gets married. And femininity has nothing to do with a look and all of that. My people in the VIP Academy, they know what it is, they know what you— they know what it's about. But it's not, it's not, uh, anything dealing with a look. It has everything to do with Femininity, to be honest with you, is the kryptonite to masculinity, and masculinity is the kryptonite to femininity, because we melt when we are in the arms of a masculine man or when we in the presence of that. But if you have not developed understanding what femininity actually really is, you'll never know how to embrace that. And you— and I think what's happened is we've, we've trying to make material things take the place of the natural male-female dynamic. Because when I watched the show, it was like, I do this, I do this, I'm about my business. And I'm a woman, like Dr. Lexi, she was all about— she was very headstrong, you know. It's about my kids, I go hard. It's about this, I go hard. When it's about that, I go— she's very headstrong to me. So we know we've mastered that, we've mastered that. But there's something to be said about a woman who knows how to master those things, but she also knows how to master and embody and embrace her femininity at the same time too. That was something that I had to learn. Yes, Tanya, femininity will have them weak in the knees. Howdy, we're gonna do it. And that's what you want. You want some, you know, you want it to be where they weak for you and you weak for them as well too. It's not a manipulation, it's just the things that God gave us to attract one another, and we keep trying to change the natural male-female dynamic. So women don't come to the table saying, I have a standard. Well, what's your standard? He gotta have this, but do you have this kind of job? He has to have his degree, got to be educated. He has to have this kind of car. He got to have his own stuff. That's— so that's your only standard? What about character? What about integrity? What about loyalty? What about kindness? What about him being grounded? What about him being selfless? What about him being a giver? What about him having empathy? What about him being able to understand you? What about him being able to communicate? How was he with family? Family? How is it— would he be with children? What— how is he as a protector? That's not a part of your standard. Normally when a woman says he has to meet her standard, it's always a list of material things and a look. And so yes, Jasmine Shea was soft, she was feminine with a little edge, with a sassiness to her. I like that about her. She was able to say what she needed to say, but she was still able to be flirty when same time too. And he, he loved that. He loved her assertiveness, but he also loved that she knew how to be a girl when time came, you know, came for that womanliness to come in. So it's kind of letting you know, baby, I'm sweet but I'm not weak. I'm nice, but baby, I really am not naive. I like that about her. And he was fixated on her, okay? How do you deal with a man that can't be with you because um, you make more money than him. I don't. That's easy fix. I don't. I don't try to make anybody be with me that they can't. That's the whole thing about being a feminine woman and knowing how to lean back. You let people show you and you make a decision on yourself, period. That, that's it. And that's all. I don't try to deal with anything. If you show me you can't be with me, or you have an issue with me making more money than you, or might be a little bit more successful than you in my career, I just don't deal with you. I'm not trying to prove or show anything to you. That's not my job. Only person that can make you inferior to me is you. The only person that can make you insecure or intimidated by me is you. So if I'm not complaining about the fact that, that you make less money than me, and but I love the way that you meet my core needs, I'm still gonna be with you. If you can't be with me because of that, I don't know what to tell you. Go find somebody that make less money than you that makes you feel better. I don't know. I personally don't deal with it. Mm-hmm. And to be honest with you, I've had to send quite a few of them packing because of that, you know. Monet said, I really need to learn to be more feminine. I look feminine, but I'm missing a major piece. Join the Teach Me How to Date VIP Academy, honey. I promise you, the ladies in there are right, getting right. All the different levels. The youngest is 19. She said, I needed to invest in myself because I needed to be a part of this. Night— the youngest is 19, and then we have on ladies up in, up in their, um, you know, their, um, their, uh, upper 50s and 60s. So this is what we're learning, you know, and this is one of the mistakes that we have been making. You know, that it's like, you know, it's, it's, it's interesting that we've lost that, right? Caller, there's so many other components than money. Is— money isn't everything. Can you meet the core needs? But once again, for a man, if his money ain't right— because what they normally do is when they see you, they assess you to see if they can afford you. I get that all the time. And they say if they can afford you, that's— I had to tell a guy tonight, we were talking and we're just having general conversation about another guy. I said, well, if his insecurity is money but he want to be with her Go get us some more money. Go get some more money and then come back. If that's your issue, if you can't date her because you don't feel like you make enough money, baby, go get some more money, honey, and then come back. Because that's not her issue, you know. Uh, how do you join? I'm from Toledo. You go to teach, uh, teachmehowtodate.com. I will post, um, I will post the link. Hold on, let me see if I can post it. For you right now on my other phone. But it's, it's really not that, you know, is we make more of it than we are. And a lot of times as women, we forgot— we forget that how to sit back and be asset women. Just be a woman. Just be. We try to do too much and versus just be. Every time I'm with a man and I'm— and I just be It's like, he's all over me. It's like, I ain't did nothing. Nada, none at all, honey. I'm just me operating in the feminine energy, and that's it and that's all. But we're trying to impress them with other things, and it's like, no, I'm not trying to impress you. I'm just being me. That's it. Okay, I just posted the link, um, for you. Just be. We have to learn to stop doing and just be, period. Overthinking and trying to figure it out— just be. Have you ever noticed that when a little boy sees a little girl, even when you were younger— and me and a friend of mine was talking about this— he saw a pretty little girl or a little girl Period. His eyes got big. What did he do? She was just being a girl. What did he do? He started flexing his muscles, trying to want to show her how strong he is, trying to show her, you know, he could lift up the truck and he could lift up the, you know, the little bricks, and he wanted to show his muscles and stuff. What was she doing? Just being a girl. That was it. She wasn't trying to show him, well, um, my ponytails and look at my barrettes, look at what I got on. She was just being what she naturally is, a girl. Think about that. Think about our little boys growing up that you saw, you know, they riding on their bikes and they see a pack of girls. What they do? Want to start doing wheelies, showing out, just showing the hell out. What was she— the girls doing? Just being. He popping willies, falling on his face, but I got it, I'm gonna show you, I'm gonna do it again. He's showing you who he is by you just being. And we have to learn the art of that. Just being. That's it. And that's all. Just be. So love you guys. I will see you again on next Tuesday as we see, as we watch to see what actually happened on Ready To Love. Hopefully, um, I hope the ladies aren't as aggressive because what I noticed is, um, the women are doing more of the pursuing, in my opinion, than the men. And I want to see the women lure the men over, okay? That's what I want to see. I want to see the woman use their feminine energy to draw him to him. I want, I want to see the women use what I call the 6-second stare. My VIP Academy um, know what the 6-second stare is. I want to see them use that. I want to see them use all of their feminine energy to, to that. What's that, April? They moved the show to Saturday at 10. Oh, that's my date nights. I might not be able to do it on date night. See, I thought it was on Tuesday. So what we might do is do a recap on Monday. How about that? Okay, how about that? Because if they moved it to Saturday nights, Mason— like, Mason, that's Mason dates night. Mason not gonna be here on a Saturday night talking to y'all. I know, 10 o'clock. But, uh, if they moved it to 10, then we can recap on, uh, Tuesday. I mean, Monday. We can recap on Monday or Tuesday, one of those days. So, uh, but I'm not gonna be here no Saturday. I have to watch the replay, um, on the app. Yeah, I got the DVR, honey, because that's data. Front Saturday nights is prime time for Maisie, honey. So I'll be either doing it on a date or in my own little world at some place, some concert, uh, all of that, you know. So no, not, not, uh, no, no, no, not a Saturday. Saturday. So love you guys, have a wonderful day, a wonderful evening. And ladies, learn how to lean back and just be. Stop overthinking, use your feminine energy. If you don't know what that is, go to Teach Me How to Date VIP, teachmehowtodate.com, and I will post it, the link again for you as well. And just join us, have a great time. I mean, we have a good time over there. Nothing is off-limits. Over there. Today we talked about— can I say a little bit, y'all? Can I say? We talked a little bit about— we talked a little bit about penis today. A little bit about penis today is what we talked about. So nothing is off-limits in the Teach Me How to Date VIP Academy, okay? So you never have to fear or feel like I can't say this. No, honey, we talk about everything. What'd you say, Joy? Very open. Lord, yes, yes, yes. Very, very, very, very open. And I think it needs to be that way. We have a sisterhood is what we have, um, and it's very an encouragement environment, encouraging environment. We don't put anyone down. I do become mama sometimes in the group and, uh, That is a— do you deal with women who are waiting for marriage? Yep, we got videos in there about them too. Uh, so we deal with those, um, as well too, because there's quite a few women in the group that are waiting for marriage, and there's quite a few women in the group that say, hell no, I need to know what I'm getting into before I say I do. I don't have enough faith in, in, in his stroke area. So that's what we talk about. That, fellas, if you could be on fly on the wall and some of the stuff that we say— I don't know, we might talk a little bit worse than y'all because we get, we, we get blow by blow and be like, girl, let me tell you what And what I love is that some of the ladies could be on a date, right? And they might not have had a date in a long time, so they'll excuse themselves and go to the bathroom and go to the VIP Academy and say, okay, I'm on a date, this is what's going on, what do I do? And everybody will chime in and we'll be like, okay girl. We had one lady, and I'll tell you this, she was on a bad date. She's like, oh my God, I'm on a bad date, help! And I was like, what's your phone number, let me call you. And everybody was like, let me call you, girl, with an emergency. You need us to call you with an emergency? So that's what we do. It's like a sisterhood for real. It's like, no, I got my girl back. Uh, she don't like him and he tripping and he not doing right. So let's call her. What do you need us to call you? What's, what's what you want us to do? So we, we zoom in just like that is what we do. So we have a good time. It's, I believe it's worth the investment. I believe the women come for the content, but they stay for the community. Because we have developed a very amazing sisterhood that when anything goes down with anyone, um, they— we, we talk about it. Even myself, I've spilled a lot of tea over the last, what, 3 weeks, ladies, about, um, what's going on with me and dating and all that. They didn't got— oh, kill them! They didn't got some juiciness from Miss Mason because I feel like although I am a dating coach I let you see what I deal with and how I date as well too. So I never wanted to be one of those people that I— you never get to see what I have going on. I'm just telling you but I'm not showing them. I show my ladies in real time what's going on. I had to go live today and spill some tea. What'd you say, Joy? Today the tea was real. Yeah, I had to spill that tea because they was like, oh my God, I didn't know that. So yeah, it's— we have a lot, we have a good time. So, um, if that's what you're looking for, you're looking for a sisterhood, you're looking to learn how to date and be a romance— uh, not a romantic, but be an asset woman, be a— date like an asset woman. That's the thing, you have to learn how to date like an asset woman. And when you date like an asset woman, you start to attract a higher caliber and a higher quality of man. Doesn't mean every higher caliber or higher quality of man is for you, but you're dating pool will actually, um, change. Uh, April, you somehow put the link on the post I shared on— not your— your— huh? Put the link to the post I shared? Okay, what I do? I don't know what you mean. Tell me what I— tell me what you mean. What'd you say, Rhonda? I have to listen to the tea from there. Yes. Um, what'd you say, Victor? Felt sorry for you, my sister. Don't feel sorry for me. That, y'all, that happened like 8, 9 months ago, the story that I shared. So I'm good, I'm healed from it, I'm good. But that was a while ago. It just pissed me off because it happened to my cousin as well. And when she told me what happened to her, I just had to talk about it at that moment. So I'm good, you know. Yeah, he was a liar. You know, all of those things we find out, you know. But at the end of the day, your desire for love and a committed relationship has to outweigh the pain that you've gone through. So that was— that wasn't recent. That wasn't recent. Uh, he has cheated. ATL needs a hehascheated.com. I'm just saying, you right, you right. I might start that this evening. But yeah, or heismarried.com, you know, what, that kind of thing. So With that, um, no, thank you, Victor, though. I love you out there in New York. But April Mason is, um, April Mason is fine. That was months ago. I believe that you take the time to heal and you take the time to do your work. I'm not a woman that, um, you put it on the post I shared and not the— oh, okay, I'm sorry. Thank you. Oh, I got it, I got you. I got what you mean. Thank you, dear. Here, let me go and put it on the post. Um, I believe that, uh, you know, people, people are who they are. People, you know, they do what they gonna do, and you have to, you know, heal. Thank you, darling. Okay, let me write that. That's why you guys don't see the link. Okay. Um, and you move on, but your, your desire for love has to outweigh, um the pain that you've gone through, period. It has to outweigh it. And if it doesn't, you're going to always be sitting back wondering about the shoulda coulda wouldas and holding yourself accountable. You are not accountable for someone who sets out to intentionally deceive you. As an asset woman, you are not above deception. I'm not above deception. So all you can do is accept it, heal from it, and move on. And that's it. And that's what I did. So y'all, so that's why I said you never know what a person is going through, because the whole time I was going through that, God was dropping these amazing nuggets on me. And I think during that time, if you go back to like April or May or March or something, I was dropping videos every single day. And a lot of times, um, I was on the, on the, uh, tennis court walking. All of this stuff was going on during that time. I hated to hear an airplane because it reminded me of him because he's an executive at Delta International side. So every time I heard an airplane, I couldn't take it. But I live so close to the airport that I couldn't help it. I was like, oh my God, how am I going to deal with this? My stomach is turned. But guess what? I let it go because— and I didn't do what I normally would do, and it's when I get hurt I go back into my shell. I didn't do that. I chose to not let anybody take that power away from me because my desire for something meaningful and a successful marriage outweighed what this joker had done. So I did something different this time. And the funny thing is, I did something different this time so I can tell you what I'm telling you right now. Even though you might have went through some heartbreak— and this is, this is, and this is the benediction— even though you might have gone through some heartbreak and, and someone may have mistreated you, or even, you know, something just didn't work out that you wanted work out. Your desire for something real and meaningful has to outweigh the pain, because if you don't allow that to lead you, what will happen is you will shut yourself off. And you look down the road, 2 years you haven't been on a date. I chose not to do that, okay? I chose not to do that. So my lesson to you in that is feel it, accept it, move on, okay? Feel it, accept it, and move on. I'm not responsible for somebody's intentional deception because if I asked you if you were married or divorced and you tell me you'd have been divorced for years and it's like, okay, so why would you lie about that? So you, you are not in control of anyone else. The only person you always be control of is yourself. That's it and that is all. When you try to ask yourself the why questions It keep you depressed. It keeps you trying to figure out what's wrong with you. You don't do that. You never know the reason why a person wants to deceive you. It's their issue, it's not yours. So thank you, Victor, for being concerned about me, but your girl is fine. I done met somebody, honey. I'm good, you know. Um, so you— I move forward, but I don't think I would have been open to meeting who I've met if I would have allowed that to, uh, hinder me, because I wouldn't have been open. I wouldn't have been open. But at the same time, I knew, April, if you're not open, you can, you can, um, protect your heart, but don't guard it standing there with a, with a, with a, uh, with a knife guarding it. You protect it to a degree, but you don't just stand there and guard it like put this big old wall up. Up. So I don't think the person that I met, I would have been able to meet him and our energies would not have connected the way that they did if I would have been, uh, jaded by what had happened. Thank you, Carla. Carla said you worked through it beautifully. I had to work through it because I had to show you what not to do, and I didn't do what I normally would do. So Self-develop— self-development is so important. I'm not gonna let anybody take my desire away from me. Now, what his wife do with him, because I know that wasn't the first time he done done it because he was too crafty. I feel bad for her because she got to deal with the foolishness, but at the end of the day, that's not my problem. My pro— my thing is, April, you heal, do what you need to do. You get quiet. I had a strong support system, you know, like, like I said before, big ups and shout out to my good friend, um, JoJo Hill was there. He was— JoJo Hill was there. Jack Daniels from the show, um, uh, Black Love, and he's the therapist on, um, what do you call it, uh, Housewives of Atlanta. I know some of y'all have issues with him, but funky Dineva is— I know Q the man. Very smart, very intelligent man. One of the most intelligent men I've ever met. I appreciate Funky Dineva, also known as Funky Dineva. Um, Spirit, she's a therapist, she's a friend of mine. She's on, um, Ricky Smiley For Real. She's a therapist for Ricky Smiley and she's on Sister Circle. And my friend, um, you know, Tanya was there and my cousin, uh, Cynthia was there. So I had a great strong support system. Around me to help me get through that, and I give them a big shout out, you know. So yes, a lot of the walks that you saw me filming was— I was working through that, y'all, but I was getting the nuggets all at the same time, so I could not not share with you. So I knew, I was like, God, this is crazy. Why I gotta tell these to these people? I want to go put my cover over my head because this ass did blah blah blah. But that wasn't the case. I was getting some of my best content. And like I said, y'all remember, if y'all remember, I was going live every day in the morning for like 5 days straight because I was being awakened, um, at 5. Hey, what's good, Joe? I was just telling the people how you was there for me when we found out Delta was married. Yeah, huh? And Joe was ready to beat off in his behind. I was just saying, giving you your props and thanking you, um, for being there, uh, for me during that time, you know. But during that time, I was going live every day and y'all had no idea, and I was dropping some heat. That's because I remained open to receive, even from a spiritual standpoint. It plays a part, ladies. It all plays a part. This wasn't a part of the review, but somebody needed to hear this. It all played a part because I was dropping some heat. I was watching it, I'm like, dang, girl, 'Where you get that from?' It's because I was going through it. Going through it, meaning I didn't stop. I was actually passing through. And me being okay with allowing, you know, or being open spiritually allowed me to get those nuggets to share with you even in my time of hurt. Do I help people, women that are overweight? I help them to the degree of a mental thing. Losing weight is a mental thing, you know, it's a mental thing. So I help with— I help with the confidence, with the rebuilding of the woman, which will in turn help you lose the weight. So to answer your question, yes. So I— yes, Mary, I was passing through it, but y'all had no idea. Y'all was giving me props. That's right, Miss April, you dropping that heat. Y'all had no idea what I just went through. But I had to keep going. So you got to keep going too, especially if your desire to be in something meaningful outweighs what someone done to you, what someone said to you. You cannot sit back and not open your heart to love. You got to be, like the show said, ready for love. Love y'all. Have a great evening. I'm going to go and watch a little, little TV because, you know, it's a girl don't watch TV and I gotta catch up. I don't know if y'all know about that show, um, Manifest, but I love that show, so I gotta go catch up. I've been from, from California twice in the last, what, 2 weeks, to Philly, to, to Jersey, and your girl ain't got caught up. But that's the show that I like because I like the concept of the show. Y'all know Manifest, I got a course called Manifest, so of course you know I'm gonna like that. So love you so much, see you next week. Um, I'll let you know what day because I thought the show was going to be coming on Tuesdays, so if it's on Saturdays, we'll probably get together on still Tuesday since the show is Saturday. So we may have to get us— get on, uh, still will do it— we'll do it on Tuesday nights or Monday night. So love y'all, have a great night, bye!