Relationship Thursday: Is your relationship with yourself like this?

Hey people, people! Hey, how y'all doing? It is Thursday and this is Relationship Thursday on the April Mason Live Show, and I am your host, none other than April Mason. How y'all doing out there? You know, you saw the start of my music, I got that Michael Jackson, that Heartbreak Hotel. Some of y'all been dealing with that heartbreak here lately, reading some of the letters that you guys have sent over, honey. You've been really dealing with some things in the heartbreak area, so We're going to discuss some stuff today. How y'all doing? Y'all know how we get started. Give me a shout out where you from so I can give you back a shout out. Everything in my world is going good. I've been, I've gotten you guys letters and emails. Haven't been able to respond to all of them because there are just so many, but I thank you guys for sharing my videos and for liking my page. If you don't, haven't liked my page, please like my page. Please, please, please like my page and and let your friends know what's going on over here at April Mason Live. Hey, Rashida from VA and Christopher from Memphis. O'Brien from Trinidad is in the building. Miss Hunter from Texas and Stephanie from Tampa. Hey girl. Good morning, April. Love the choker necklace. Thank you, Christina. Marlon, Manuel from Orlando. Rashawn from Decatur. Team April, let's go. That's what I'm talking about, Aaron. Hey, LaFonda from Dallas and Deitra. From Atlanta. Cheryl from London. Uh, Miss, uh, let's praise the Lord, praise the Lord back at you too, Miss Marita. Um, JoJo from Paris. Uh, Raquel from Homestead, Florida. Hey from, um, London. Hey Ronnie and Brenda from Indiana. Deitra, love you more girl, you better stop with all that love. Hey Kevin from Savannah and Stacy from Memphis, Tennessee. Victoria ATL is in the building baby. Uh, what they say, A-Town up? Portland, um, Oregon. I see you, Marie. Hey, Anna from Maryland. And, and hey, Pastor Bashad, good afternoon to you too, darling. Felicia from Alabama. Army Strong, that's what I'm talking about. Sharita, um, from Miami. And Keisha from Montgomery. Hey girl, Nikki, I love you more. Gotta spit that knowledge. Well, I got some— something to share today with you. Terry from, um, from Baltimore. Um, Nikki from, from Richmond. I got a little caught up. Hold on, I'm trying to keep up. Johanna from Miami. And Dionne, you say, hey, hi April, ready for it? I got something for you, baby. Um, Vicki from DC. And Loronda, hey, how you doing, girl? Uh, let's see, Sandra from Texas. Antoinette from Miami. Miami is in the building. What's the weather like in Miami? I need a little, little heat in my life, a little warm weather. Hey, um, Lolita from DC and Anne from Dubai, thank you so much for tuning in. Uh, Jessica from Mississippi. Tessie, you looking happy today. Miss Mason from Kenya, girl, I'm always happy, baby. It's a part of who I am. I've learned to, uh, if I'm feeling bad, to change what I'm thinking and it will change my mood. I always taught y'all that. Change what you're thinking and it will change your mood. Because I don't need no foolishness in my life, and y'all don't need none either. So you're looking at— okay, let me go back to this one. Hey, Zoe from Nashville. Anthony Brown, good afternoon to you, darling. Kendra from Dallas, love you, love you more, girl. Let's see, uh, who else? I'm trying to get everybody because y'all be inboxing me so much. You didn't say my name. Hey George, you got on me about not saying your name last time. I said your name, said your name, baby. Um, let's see. Hey Reginald from St. Louis, Missouri, and Jackie from Chicago. Monica, hey Monica from the D! Uh, Mika from Wilmington, or no, Mimi B, I see you girl, I see. Who else I see? Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. I'll be trying not to touch my screen so it don't shake, so I'll be trying to go fast. Hey Danny from, um, Harrisburg, PA. Ross from Houston. I hear that, April. Hey Wanda. Uh, Lakeisha from Philly. Jackson, Mississippi is in the building. Hey, Ashanti Barnes. Mr. Smooth from Memphis. Marcus, say my name. Hey Marcus, say my name. Say your name. Good afternoon to y'all. I hope everybody is doing well on today. Hey, um, Andrea checking in. Um, I see, uh, Mika from Ohio. The Yo is in the house. Y'all know I lived in Youngstown for a while. Don't tell nobody. Um, hey, April from Fort Lauderdale. Sam from, um, DC. Let's see. Hey, loving that Michael in the background. Ain't that Michael some— that just make you feel good. Sometimes if you're not feeling your best, put on some music, honey, and it will change the way you feel. All right, you know, I only do my shouts out doing my, doing my songs because, uh, that keeps me on track because I, you know, I always tell you I'm not trying to hold you long but I end up doing it anyway. But I hope that even though I'm a little lengthy, that you're getting something out of it, because I think what we've done, we've become microwave, um, a, a microwave culture that we want everything done so quickly. But to be honest with you, the, the average adult, if I'm not mistaken, attention span is 28 minutes. So I'm just saying. Yeah, and y'all know my word is I'm just saying. So that— I think I need a shirt that says I'm just saying, because I, I, I use that on, um, a regular, a regular basis. Uh, let's see, to the brother that look like— listen, okay, you should reach out to the brother that look, listen, and watch your videos too. Watching you makes make deeper on a whole lot of things. I reach out to the brothers. You know, we all are, uh, when I speak, I'm not just speaking to the women. If you watch any of my videos, what I say go hand in hand. I'm not one that says, oh, it's the man's fault, or it's all a woman's fault, but I do believe that as women, if we get in alignment, the men will follow, because men has been following women since the beginning of time. So I do believe that. So I'm, I might be a little harder on the women than I am men, and a lot of ladies get upset about that. And, and I'm sorry, baby, but if you understand the dynamics of how men think and how the much, as much power as us women have— now, we're not trying to change men, we're changing ourselves, which, which in turn will make others around us want to change, and we will start attracting a different thing to us. So I'm never saying that the men aren't at fault, because some of y'all, y'all, y'all do some things that just ain't right. However, it's not for me to reset you, it's for me to reset me so I can attract the type of dude that I don't have to act like that. And if that dude is one that acted like that in the past, when he run across a me, it inspires him to want to change. You guys know my motto: I'm not in the business of changing people, I'm in the business of inspiring people to want to make changes. Okay, so before we get started, let me give a shout out. I went and got my hair did yesterday, y'all. See, I, um, I let them, you know, let her do my little sides and all of that right there. Let her do my hair, and her name is Sparkle. She's over there at Thrive Hair Salon over in Jonesboro, Georgia, honey. So she did that. She, uh, I told her I get tired of messing with my little hair and, and when I cut it, the girl cut it wrong and it got a little thin and I just don't wanna put no tracks in it, so can you make me, you know, make my hair right? And Sparkle Darlin', you did that, baby! Thank you so much. Another thing I have for you is go to my website, AprilMason.com, and get your free MP3. It's entitled How to Position Yourself to Be an Asset, and it's maybe about 30 minutes to 45 minutes long, but Go to my website right now, AprilMason.com, and, uh, download that as well. As I don't know if you guys saw my announcement the other night. Y'all was so caught up in the Megan Good stuff that I had to say, y'all may have missed my announcement. But I had been working on something very close and near and dear to my heart. I told you guys I took a time off for me from January. I keep saying it was 18 months, but actually it was longer than that. Everybody's process may not be the same, um, but I went from not dating or anything from January 2014 up until recently, maybe about, I think I went out on my first, like, for real date in October or November of last year. And that was by choice. Cause you know, I, some of y'all, y'all, you just ain't got no date. No, Mason always have a plethora of fellas chasing. However, it's not about them chasing me. It's about me knowing who I am at my core to know what I want. That's two totally different things. So, um, go to my website and— oh, but I didn't get to tell you, hold on, let me back up. So in that time, God gave me this ultimate revelation about femininity and womanhood and how we've gotten so, so far away from what he intended us women to be, and how we've been strong on this end as a man, but we've not been strong in our femininity as women. And I know we've had to do it ourselves, and I wish our men would stand up. I get it, baby. But at the same time At the same time, we got to stop placing blame and hit the reset button and say, it doesn't matter whose fault it is, baby. How we gonna get back to where I need to be as a woman? So what I created and have been creating over all of these months is the I'm an Asset School of Womanhood and Femininity. And it's an online course that you'll be able to take, and I'm going to walk you through the process that I went through. I did a lot of research, not just from, from a biblical standpoint, but from different cultures cultural standpoint as well, to see, um, what they were doing and why, you know, um, my, my Indian sisters and my Asian sisters are more, more feminine, and, and, but yet they get the stuff, the same thing that we're after. They, they mastered at how, how to get it. I told you I have a multicultural family, so I'm watching my, my Asian cousins and things, you know, the very men that they try to get, that what that they wanted, they went out and got the very men that, as, um, women, um, in our culture that's saying, well, why, they're— those men aren't available. Actually, those men are available. It's a lot has to do with how we've been presenting ourselves. So you can't have a masculine woman over here, not realizing it, trying to get with a masculine man over here. You know, the masculine men and straight men, they don't want that. They like girls. They like girls. And but that— but don't mistake that and for, uh, being, uh, you can't be educated. You can't— a lot of times people say being strong, they take being strong as you don't want me to be educated, you don't want me to be opinionated, you don't want to be That has nothing to do with it. I'm educated, I'm very passionate when I talk, uh, I, I can command a room, all of those things. But at the same time, I'm still a girl. So at home, I'm a straight beta female at home all the time. So it's, it's, it's knowing how to play your position and play, um, know your role. But it doesn't take— it doesn't mean you have to step down from your intelligence, from from what you've accomplished, from your degrees and all. It doesn't mean that. I'm trying to put together, I'm bringing together with this and that. We only have this because we go to school, we learn what we need to learn, we climb the corporate ladder, we get our jobs, we get our, our, um, our big salaries, we buy our houses, we have our good credit and all those things. So we put— we feed ourselves in that area, but there's nobody on this end feeding us, wait a minute, those things are good, but learn how to be a feminine woman and embrace your womanhood at the same time. So So for those of you that keep coming with the, why I gotta dumb down, you're not hearing the message. You're already defensive. And that's, that's the being defensive is not, um, a characteristic of femininity. So did y'all see that? My little picture fell. So that's not being, um, you know, feminine. I wrote below, um, today I posted a picture that says femininity, masculinity is debate, femininity is conversation. So it's just changing some things about how we do things and take down our defenses because everybody is not trying to knock you. You don't always have to be strong. You don't always have to be, you know, ready to tell somebody, read somebody. All of that is not always necessary. And you can read somebody without doing all that. I'm a master at reading folks without even having to raise my voice. So please understand, nobody's taking away from what you have accomplished what I'm trying to do. Now, that was no paranormal activity. I was messing with this— don't be trying to put that over here. I was messing with this, uh, picture right before I got on, and I guess I didn't pin the thing in the wall. We don't do no paranormal activity over here. So as I was saying, we don't want to, uh, take away from what you have done, but we want to also help you in the area of bringing that together. Because like I said, Femininity, it comes across in different ways. I'm like I said, I'm a feminine woman, but y'all know I can get passionate when I talk. I— when I, when I do my videos, and if it's something that I really believe in, I get passionate. But don't let my passion be mistaken for she's strong or she's independent or all, all of these other things that do not go with what it means to be feminine, uh, be a strong woman. Because being a strong woman is in my femininity. It's not necessarily in my ability to go toe-to-toe with you. First of all, I ain't going toe-to-toe with no man, no way, because I ain't got time for that. It's like, if I got to be going toe-to-toe to you all the time, maybe we just don't need to be together. How about that? So go to my, um, go to my website and number one, get your free MP3 called How to Position Yourself to Become an Asset. Number one, that's my free gift to you. And number two, go right below that and click on, um, get notifications, and we will see our beautiful banner of The Almanac School of Womanhood and Femininity. So you will be one of the first people to know when we launch that course. So before I put it out to the world, I'm going to give it to those that are on my email list first. And we're gonna, we're gonna talk about some— we're gonna get into some deep stuff in this course. It's going to be 4 weeks, a 4-week course. But this is not for the weak. This is not for those that's gonna get offended and all of that. If we got to be called out on our stuff I had to be called out on my stuff. And so if I had to go through it, I'm gonna let y'all have to go through it as well too. But this— my message is not for everybody. If you still stuck in, well, tell the men to do this, tell the men to do that, you are not who I'm talking to because you're still focused on placing blame. The blame game over here is over. If you're ready to really say, what does it mean, um, to be a feminine woman? And a lot of you say, well, the Bible gives the blueprint. No, the Bible gives us a compass. But the Bible doesn't give us the how-to. So even though God lists the characteristics in the Bible, that how-to— somebody said, well, being a virtuous woman is having dignity. Well, what is dignity? What is grace? What, you know, what are these things? What is femininity? So it's that piece, the how-to of it. So we read the Bible for, um, you know, as our compass, but we gotta have some practical application on how to do it. And so that's where I guess God, when he took me through what I had to go through for those 18+ months, kind of gave me more of a— the ability to explain what each of those pieces, uh, mean. Because I talked about— I did a women's conference and recently, and I asked, what is femininity? So the ladies gave a whole bunch of great answers, but then one lady says it, um, it was what, uh, a virtuous woman. My question to her was, what is a virtuous woman? We've gotten so accustomed to just saying things without understanding or realizing what the definition of it means. So we cannot break it down. Well, I'm here to help you break that down, to get in position. Like I said, ever since I came into this newfound understanding of femininity and, uh, womanhood and embracing that and, and taking that into the marketplace— because we don't, you know, you know, I talk business, but you can be feminine in the marketplace. We'll have a section in there about femininity in the workplace. So for my ladies that's working, doing your thing, you don't have to go toe-to-toe with a man. I promise you, you can get more out of being a lady than you ever will trying to go toe-to-toe with a man. And not saying that they're better than us, it's not that. It's let's just be women, okay? So I wouldn't— I wasn't going to go into all of that because that ain't got— kind of sort of got something to do with my topic today. But, um, I wanted to share that with you. So go to AprilMason.com, get your free MP3 as well as click below and register and sign up to be on the list, um, to know when the school, uh, our online school launches. And just here's a hint, it's both— it launches on the same day the CD comes out. If you don't have your I'm An Asset, pre-order your I'm An Asset, um, 10 Keys to Being a Woman Who Brings More to the Appetite audiobook. Make sure you go to my website, you'll be able to get that there, um, as well too, because we're still offering free shipping. So go ahead and save yourself $4.95, um, for shipping. Okay. Mm. Well, today what I wanted to talk about, I'm not, I'm not really answering anybody's questions per se, but I am. When I get a lot of you guys' emails and inbox messages that you send me about relationship things, even though they're different situations, they have a common thread in all of them. And today I want to talk to you about you. Why it is that you don't value and love yourself more than you do. The best relationship, since this is Relationship Thursday, that you can have, darlings, is with yourself, okay? That's the best relationship that you can ever have. So a lot of the messages that I'm getting about people cheating on you, people abusing you, people lying all of these different things has to do with you and what you continue to allow in your life. When you love yourself, you don't allow people to mistreat you. You don't allow people to run over you or mishandle you because of the value that you set upon yourself. Now, your value is not coming from your things, fellas. It's not come— your value not coming from your good job, your good looks, and your penis size. Gotta say it because some of y'all lead with those three things, and it's like, that's cute, but who are you? So it's not those things. Your value don't come from that, ladies. Your value does not come from your ed— your degree, how much money you make, uh, your body, and how you got a banging body. And y'all, that's not what your value is. Your value is knowing that the simple fact that I am on this planet, God saw fit to put me here, I am valuable. All of those millions of sperm that got to that egg to create you, that means you were supposed to be here, okay? So take away all of those things, and when you understand that I should not be treated any kind of way, when you understand that you are a son or daughter of a king, Ask yourself, would my king, the Father, want someone mishandling and mistreating me the way that I keep allowing myself to be mistreated? All in the name of, well, I'm trying to work them through it and all. Okay, how much working through— yeah, not through, but how much working through you gonna do if a person in your life makes you feel bad about yourself? If they don't help bring you up, if they are not pouring into your life but all they are doing is taking, then you are with the wrong individual. Now, for my married people, yes, go into your prayer closet, baby, and pray about it and make sure— now, I was married, and I'm one of those people that before I make a move, um, especially in a committed marriage type situation, I make sure that I do everything that I need to do before I walk away, because I'm just ain't taking no abuse. And I don't believe, you know, that God wants us, even if we're married, to sit back and take people beating on us, mentally abusing us. A father don't want that. So for those of you that's gonna try to come scripturally with the, with the, um, God don't like divorce— no, he does not like divorce, but it is allowed. Just because somebody don't like it doesn't mean that it's not allowed, because You, you have to read that in the context of what it was said. Men back then were just divorcing women, letting them go for just any old reason. Get down and get into your concordance and read the why, but by that was said. Now, if you're going through a situation and you're, like I said, you're married, make sure you go to counseling. Make sure you go and take the Love Language test so you can find out how, um, how you can, uh, find— better serve your mate, and they do the same. Take some marital counseling, change your attitude. If it's a relationship that you want to work, you need to do your part, and you might need to make the shifts. If it's something that just is non-repairable and it's like, you know what, I'm not getting beat down emotionally and mentally no more, you know what to do. If you're just dating somebody and you're going through those things and it's all this back and forth, pulling teeth back and forth, Maybe you're with the wrong person. And sometimes we stay with people, um, because we don't want to be alone versus saying, you know what, this just ain't working. I'm sorry, this just— this is— it's just too much. It's just— it's just bringing too much, uh, sorrow in my life. If you find yourself, you're more sad than happy in a relationship, something is wrong with that dynamic. That tells me that you will put up with anything. You will put up with anything and you're accepting anything for that little piece of what you're defining as love, but that is not love. So many people say, you know, I don't want to settle. Well, actually, darling, you are already settling if you are not with somebody based upon your core needs. If you don't know your core need, if you don't love yourself, you will not find what your core needs are. Because, um, love says to me, honey, April, you the bomb.com girl. Let me, let me figure out what it is that, that you need so you can, uh, get— attract the kind of man that you need in your life, because you are just that valuable, honey. And not everybody can just step to you today. No, what's— oh, I'm sorry, not today. Somebody said something about I needed this today. Good, I'm glad you're getting it. But not anybody can just step to me, not out of arrogance, not out of conceit or vainness. It's because I know what I need at my core. And if not step into me correctly, I already can identify the foolishness before you even, uh, keep continuing, uh, to open your mouth. I can, I can detect it because I spent time getting to know who I am. Now, if I chose to entertain that just because it might be something to do, that's something that we choose to do, but it doesn't mean that I don't see through the foolishness. See, there's a difference. So You have to ask yourself, am I loving myself in a way that I, uh, to present myself for the relationship that I want? This goes for friendships too. If you got a friend that always taking, taking, taking, taking, taking, that's a problem. You might need to, uh, you might need to reevaluate your friendships. It's a problem. So I wanted to discuss this, well, you know, with you guys because it's, it's becoming an issue as I, um, I read your letters and everybody It's, you know, different, different situation but same problem. And all of it stems from you're trying to make a round peg fit into a square hole, and you need to walk away and be okay with walking away and, and think from a place of abundance versus a place of lack. People who hold on to relationships that are not good for them, but just so they can have a piece of relationship, what you're saying is, I have a mindset of lack. I do not believe that there I will meet somebody who meets my— the standard that I've set. And so if you have a lack in your mindset that way, every other area of your life, do you have a lack of mindset? You can't be double-minded. A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways. So if you're— if you are unstable in your relationship as far as loving yourself and, uh, um, knowing when to walk away and all that, you're going to be unstable in everything. It's just going to be a different situation. So ask yourself, do I love myself enough? And when you ask yourself that, look at the foolishness of what you're dealing with. Look at how you feel when you're with the people you're around. It could be family members. I'm quick to cut people off like an umbilical cord, and not because I don't forgive them. Forgiving and hanging out with you is told to do two totally different things. Yes, sometimes we are, we are, we are the to plant seeds in people's lives, but When you plant the seeds, you got to back up and let it grow, honey. You can't just sit there and get your head cracked all the time, be out of the sake of, I'm trying, I'm trying to help. No, you help them and you keep it moving because you get one life. I was reading today and I was— it was so sad that, um, Big Ang from Mob Wives passed away, and it made me really think, wow, Wow, we get one life to live. Why are you taking your one life that you have and positioning yourself to deal with unnecessary foolishness because you don't love yourself enough and you don't have an abundant mindset to say, I love myself enough to walk away from this situation that I know I won't— may not have companionship right now, but I'm going to set myself up for something else. And I'm okay with being by myself right now. Gotta ask yourself that because you get one life, like one. There is no do-overs. You get one body. There is no do-overs in this body. Take care of it. I'm getting better myself. I ordered the detox system and, and all of this stuff. I'm taking— I took it today. I'm gonna see how it all works. I'll let y'all know how it go. And, um, I had to take better care of me. I love cakes and pies, but April, you know, cakes and pies is not your friend, especially when the number one, uh, cause of death between women is heart disease. So we got to take those things into consideration. Some of y'all got offended about, um, when I talked about being overweight on the video. I talked about Megan Good when I said if you are a Christian, call yourself a Christian, and coming at her but you're overweight and you're obese and it's not due to health issues or anything like that, you're not in a position to talk or say— call anybody out because you don't take, um, in consideration that you're supposed to be moderate, moderate with your food, as well as the Bible talks about gluttony. So it was not that I'm knocking overweight people, I'm saying shut your mouth if that's you. And whether it's lying, cheating, stealing, whatever, shut your mouth if that's not— I mean, if that's you. So we have to understand we do get one life. One. So what are you gonna do with the life that you have? Are you going to continue to let foolishness into your life? Are you going to continue with your one life that you get, keep trying to make somebody be what you want them to be when they clearly showing you they're not ready to be it? Are you gonna still hold on to the hope that Um, if you— the more you give, the more a person will change. Are you still willing to hold on to that mindset? You give, you sow into people's lives, but if it's— if it's you pouring in more than you're getting put back into you, something is wrong with that dynamic. Something is wrong with that. So you have to make— you have to make the decision to say I'm okay because I love me more. Which is what you say, what y'all say. Um, how is she commenting when I never see her typing? Just curious. This is live. Yes, it is live, but I have a staff, so they are in different parts. They might be at home or wherever they are, they are commenting. So when you guys see me, my hands, and you see comments, that's not me, that's my staff that's, um, typing for me. So no, ain't no spooky stuff going on around here. So make sure that you, um, prepare yourself to have the love that you want by preparing yourself for the best relationship that you can ever have, and that is with yourself. That's what yourself— what do you say? Somebody said, I need to find a balance. Let people walk over me so much in my past that I'm now quick to walk away. Yeah, there is a balance in that. There definitely is a balance in that because growing up I seen um, uh, women being totally passive in my life. So I went extremely aggressive, and I had to learn balance in the middle. I picked my battles. Matter of fact, I don't even battle, baby. I, I choose to speak on what I want to speak on, and I— if I choose not to speak on it, I don't, I don't always have to have a comeback or try to defend. And I don't always have to do that because I understand who I am and who God created me to be. So in that, sometimes, you know, it don't matter what other folks got to say. Don't matter. Doesn't matter. I'm okay with that. Some of y'all, a lot of times folks share my videos and they don't agree and they call me all kind of names, but it's okay. But my message for who is for who, those that it's for. I don't always have to explain what I mean because my audience gets it. Learn how to choose your battles and get your blood pressure all high about— you get your blood pressure high about people that don't even matter. You don't matter. Bible says how, you know, worrying over in Matthew— worrying can't add one cubic foot to nothing. So why do you do it? It's learning how to to understand who you are, who God created you to be, and know that that is the best relationship you can ever have. So if you don't love you enough— and okay, here's the, uh, oh, meter to just to determine how much you love yourself. Okay, you might not like this, but I need you to do it. Okay, that's my grandbaby, she says okay. Um, look at what the people that are in your life and look at how they treat you. That will determine how much you love yourself. Mama, daddy, sister, brother, friend, relationship, doesn't matter. What you allow people to do to you is a gauge for how much you love yourself. It's so much easier said than done. Actually, it's not. We always use that as an excuse. It's only easier said than done because of your mindset. If you think it's easier said than done, that it will be easier said than done. If you say I can do this, then you can do this. If you say I can't do this, then you can't do it. So we, we, we hide behind these clichés because it's a safe place. We hide behind trying. I'm trying to do this, I'm trying to do that. But trying is just an excuse that we try to make ourselves believe, and we try to sell to other people. And if we fail, we want to say we failed gracefully. At least we failed gracefully. At least I tried. No, we're not going to do— we don't try, we do. We do. So whatever you believe it is, is what it will be. If you believe you smart, you are. If you believe you stupid, you that too. Whatever it is, is what— whatever it is that you believe is what it will be. So that's all I have for you guys on today. Um, I may be able to have a few minutes to take a couple questions. If you got a couple questions real quick, I may be able to answer. Don't go too deep on me because some of y'all stuff be requiring some therapist, and I am not a therapist. I just, I just expressed to you my experiences, what I've learned throughout my journey of being a woman, as, as well as in business. So I'm just saying, Mason don't know everything, honey. I'm still learning. Trying is an effort. No, Trump, when you go into the mindset, when you go into something with the mindset of I'm going to try to do it, you've already failed. You go into it with the mindset of I'm going to do it. That's why when you meet people, they, um, instead of being the representative that they're showing you, because I gotta tell you this, anytime you meet someone and you're dealing with their representatives You're dealing with who they want to be, but they're not willing to put in the work to become that. Can you be my mentor? Oh, Brian, that's— you know what, we have— we do have a mentor group on Facebook, but it's more geared toward business at, uh, mentorcoaching.aprilmason.com. But it's a lot of ladies in there, so we, we do talk about this stuff as well. If you go down my— on my timeline, you'll see one of the ladies, um, one of the ladies who just turned 40 in the group, and she talks about her femininity and what she's learned inside of that group. So you can go down below and, um, look at her picture. Miss— Miss Angela, I am so proud of you, girl. If you are watching, I saw you in your blue dress rocking it. So, um, we do have that, mentorcoaching.aprilmason.com. Let's see, well, let's see what the— I saw a question. Let's see. Uh, let's see. Can you be my mentor? You are a teacher, hunty. Yeah, am I a teacher, hunty? I saw a question. I thought— yes, people say it's easier than done when they don't plan on doing it. You're absolutely correct, because if something you want done, you will do it. If it's something that you like, it requires some work from you, you're gonna try to do it. But if it's something that you want to do, you just go ahead. Oh no, I got You know how we get, girl. I got this, honey. We about to do this. We about to get down on this. See, um, you, you do it. Let's see. Uh, I'm enjoying being alone. I don't want to be alone, but I'm just digging through the process. Yes, none of us really— those of us that have a lot of love to give, none of us really want to be alone. However, I suggest you get you together first, and then after you get you together, get out the house and go mingle and meet people. What did you learn on your journey? Um, on my journey, I learned that it's okay to be a woman in all aspects. I learned about femininity. I learned about how to position myself for the things that I want versus the things that I thought I want. It took me time to figure out what I really wanted, um, based upon me going on what society say I should want. I had to understand, April, it's okay to be who you are as the woman, because I am more of the homemaker kind. I'm more of the support your man kind. Even though I am a forefront kind of woman, I can do both things. I take pleasure in being the builder of my house. So I had to be okay in that versus people say, well, how can you be doing all of this stuff? You on stages, you writing books, and you're a powerhouse. But yet at home you're like the Susie Homemaker. I had to be okay with being that woman. And I— one of the things that I did to figure that out was I looked at when I was married and the two relationships I had after I got married and what was the common thread between them. That's something you can do as well too. Look at the common thread. And all three of them, um, even my ex-husband, he, he wanted to be that even though we tried and it didn't work. But the common thread the, the common thread was they were all entrepreneurs, and I took pleasure. It made me happy to put their stuff together and make it work while I was at home, um, not necessarily cooking and cleaning all the time because you can hire people to do that, but I was being able to work on my business and, um, take care of my kids and take care of my man at the same time. So my last full-time job was when I was— when my daughter, who is now 21, was in the 4th grade, because I made the choice to say, I want to raise my kids. I don't want the world and the streets raising them. So April, you do whatever you got to do to make sure you are there and being their mother to raise them since their father was not in the home. I took that upon myself to do that for my, for my kids. And I can see, definitely see the difference, um, in my kids than some of their classmates who end up at my house all the time because it's like, Miss April, we can talk to you. A man, y'all talk to y'all mama about sex? And y'all— because I've built that open relationship with them because I was there with them. That was a choice that I made. That may not be for everybody else, there's other ways to do that, but that was the choice that I made. So, those were the things I learned about myself on the journey because I felt a little funny because it's like, wait a minute, I do do all of these things, so why do I like taking care of my family so much? Why do I take more pleasure and can be more productive when I was in a relationship and when I was married making my man's stuff successful, but in turn, I still had that security and all those other things that are important to me. So I had to look at that and be okay with the fact that I am a builder kind of woman. And when, um, when you guys join the online school for, uh, for Womanhood and Femininity, there are different types of women. So you have to understand your type of makeup. I had to understand that my makeup as a woman is a builder kind of woman. So I have to be with a man that is okay with me helping him build. Now I ain't talking about from the ground up. I'm talking about somebody that's already in their vision doing what they do, and here come mama, here come Lil Mama to help him take it to the next level. I had to become okay with that where I wasn't okay with that. So to answer your question, Felicia, those are some of the things that I have learned on my, um, my journey. Let's see, April, how do you stay focused? I don't all the time stay focused. Now there's certain things, disciplines that I have in my life that it's like, no, April, you got to do this, this, this, this, and this. When it comes to men or relationships, how do I stay focused by not getting into the wrong stuff? It's I know my value and I know what I want. So it helps me weed out the folks that really don't want nothing but companionship, but not a relationship. So that's my way of staying focused because of my value of me. Now, I might get off focus— I might get off focus in some work I need to do and I don't get it done. So yeah, I ain't perfect, don't get it twisted. I ain't all that disciplined because I'm thinking about a cupcake right now while I'm thinking about Y'all would thank the Lord that my grandbaby didn't spill them all and I can't even get none. So I have my vices as well, as well too. Please share how you arrived at your core needs. Well, it goes back to sitting down and dealing with me. I didn't get to my core needs until I said something is off. I got all of this over here, but I don't have this piece over here, so I need to get it together. And so I had to sit down and say, April, Who are you as a woman? Remember I said a few minutes ago that I had to realize the kind of woman that I need— that I am, so it would determine the kind of man that I need to be connected with. I can't be connected with everybody because everybody can't appreciate what I bring to the table. So you got to know that. You got to know that. And you— and once you understand that part, you'll stop dealing with these jokers trying to make them it when they not it. So I had to sit down and say, April, what's important to important to you? Is money important to you, or is being generous important to you? Is, um, uh, security important to you? Is, uh, someone being kind and caring to you? Though, that's how you find out your core. What is it that, that makes you move? I know my number one core need is I have to have somebody that makes me feel secure within them. And for those of you that have gone through traumas, a lot of our traumas will dictate What is the— what's one of the things that resonate the most with us? Because I dealt with— you guys know my story— I dealt with the molestation for 12 years, domestic violence. I've dealt with the rape. I've been emotionally abused and, you know, all of those things. That meant I never knew what it was like to have a man cover me. So that means I did not have the security in a man. I don't— I didn't know what that looked like until, um, all my married— all my friends are married except maybe one or two. but they are in relationships where the man is the head and she feels secure to be who she is. I know now that's the kind of man that I need. So that's how I came up with what my core needs were. And now in the School of Womanhood and Femininity, we're definitely going to be talking— that's going to be a course all on its own. You may— you might end up crying. I'm not— of course, but a module. You might end up crying, you might end up, you know, really breaking down because I'm going to ask you those hard-hitting questions. This is how, um, you get, you know, to that. I had to say, see what was important to me. A lot of women say, I want a man that, that got all six figures. Or, or is it the six figures you want, or is it a man that can provide for you and take care of you? Those are different things. So I think we're saying stuff, but we're not connecting what it really is that we're— what we want. But we're just blanketed over, um, one particular thing. I want a man with money and all of this when all you're saying is I need a man that is, um, can provide security and provision for me. That's something totally different. So I hope I answered that. Many guys my age don't see that. I guess it's because I'm very young and already successful. I hate leeching situations. Well, my daughter is 21 and she's successful. She has her own house. She's written two books. She bought her own car. She's not a welfare mom. She got a lipstick— like, what we're doing, a lipstick line. Oops, I wasn't supposed to say that together. So she's very successful in what she does. And I told her, maybe you got to date, um, you date people older than you. Well, actually, a young man that she is seeing, he's her age, but he's very mature because he was raised by older people and he was raised by his grandfather. So he opens doors. He, he does everything that a lot of these 45, 50-year-olds ain't doing, this young man does. So it's not that you men your age aren't doing it. You have to once again find out who you are, what your core— what your core needs are, and then you will attract that kind of person. So my daughter, um, has been, um— I've instilled those things in her. So now she knows, Mama, this ain't working. No, that ain't working. And or she might try to make somebody be what it was, or she say, Mom, why couldn't he just be— I'm like, because he just You know, that kind of thing. What else? Can you be my mommy? Honey, I got enough kids. Stop it. But I'll be auntie. I can be auntie. Um, you are so brave to put yourself out to the world. You know, Bible says that we are overcome by our testimony, and for me, my testimony helps others, and I'm transparent. That's why when people come throwing stuff at me My life is an open book, so it's like it's nothing that I've never said before. So you can't try to come get me when I've already let you know what it is. Uh, I'm driving. I struggle with letting people, people go. Please give me some advice. I'll give you this, Dorothy. What advice would you give your son or daughter if they were having the same problem you were having? We wouldn't tell them, well, just keep letting them run over your baby, let them go. We wouldn't say that. We'd be like, look, first of all, ain't nobody gonna come in here and treat my baby any old kind of way. You belong to me and we don't do that. That's the same way God feels about you. So you got to look at it from that standpoint, darling. Um, let's see, let me see if I can get one more in here right before I, uh, leave out of here for today. I've been following you for over a year and you keep me interested. Thanks. You're so welcome, Wanda, and thank you for following, um, as well. I learned— let's see, anymore. I'm a single mom who never been married and dealing with getting me together, but I still feel like I will never be that catch. Help me with my value. So you only believe you'll never be that catch because something in your life happened to make you feel that way. I'm gonna give you guys this story before I leave, and I'm gonna show you how I was able to get over abandonment and rejection. When I was 18 years old— I don't, I don't know if I wrote about this in my book or not, I might have, I might have missed that one— when I was 18 years old, I was dating a guy He was 23 and I thought he was my guy. I thought he was all about me, right? Well, one day he invited me to a picnic and I'm so excited because my man invited me to a picnic. Well, when I got there, he spoke, hey, how you doing? But he had his real girlfriend there. I didn't know I was a side chick. Had no clue. Because I didn't sign up for it. I thought it was just he and I, but his real girlfriend was there. And his mama kind of looked at me, and I could look in her face, and she was just— she felt so bad for me at that moment because she had no clue that I was even going to be there. Or she, she was just like— you could tell that she felt pity for me at that moment. Just so happened one of the guys from my neighborhood was driving through the park because it was a picnic in the park, and I said, can you take me home? That, that at 18 stuck with me for so many years that I would always feel like I would be abandoned and rejected. Another thing that added on to that is when I ended up in a relationship with, um, my kid's father, I walked in on him having sex with another woman. That added to the abandonment and the rejection. So I got to the point where I wouldn't— I don't show up and I wouldn't show up at nobody's house. Um, my thought process, even if my— whoever I was seeing knew I was coming, I'd be like, Lord, please don't let me walk in on nothing. Please don't let me walk in on nothing. Because that had been— that soul seeds have been planted when I was 18, 19, 20 years old. So it carried with me all of that time to where I was— I would hold on, um, so tight. And the very thing that I would think would happen would happen because I would create that outcome in my mind because I would think about it and put put feeling on it, and then it would manifest. Whatever you put your feeling to and, um, your emotions to, and you can feel it down on the pit of your stomach, you're manifesting that. So we got to change what, um, we're thinking. So those are the things that happen that caused me to deal with, deal with rejection and abandonment. But not even just that. Go back to when I was younger and I dealt with the molestation from my father and stepfather. Those are once again men who only, um, um, took from me but rejected me, and I felt abandoned. See, from there I had to— I got married with all of those things, and I married a man that could not handle those things. Whoever God blesses you with, they will be able to handle your stuff. They're not going to walk away. I think I heard on a Tyler Perry play, if a man loves a woman, a woman, right, if he show her that that he gonna be there through it all, she'll be down for him like 4 flat tires. Hmm. And that is the god-honest truth. So what I did to help me get over people leaving and abandonment and rejection and creating these scenarios in my mind of how it would play out— I would create scenarios of me arguing with them and, 'Why you with her?' and all that, because that's what I knew, that's what I saw. You know, I know what it's like to be, uh, to be cheated on. I know what it's like to walk in a party and, you know, your, your, your man, your fiancé is there, but, um, when you get there, you know, everything, everything, everybody is all about you because everybody in the community knows who you are. But then you got these side chicks. I know what it's like to, you know, to be at the football game and your man playing ball and, um, you got women in the, in the stands talking about how they'll bang him and all that. I know what that's like to be um, cheated on and feeling like I am not enough. I know what that's like. But it wasn't until— I can't stress to y'all enough— I mean, understanding number one, who God created me to be, and number two, understanding that I'm supposed to be here, and number three, knowing that I'm valuable just the way that I am because I was put on this earth for a particular reason. And number five, I sat back and got, uh, started dealing with my core issues and the things that would bother me me. That's when I got over the rejection and abandonment issue. Because anything— it looks like this: if you were— if, if you're rejecting me, I don't look at it as you doing something to me. I look at it as God protecting me because I don't need to be in that environment if I'm being rejected from it. So I hope I answered your question, um, on that. See, I didn't— I didn't give y'all some more stuff I wasn't supposed to give y'all. But, um, I hope that helps you understand who you are and understand the best relationship you can have is with yourself. Um, let's see, is that— was that it? I had to see— I was created between mother and father, staying and not leaving an abuse. Absolutely, that's another issue for those of you that are staying out of, um, the fact that I don't want the kids to see that, you know, me single, and I want to raise them out. All you're doing is creating dysfunction. That's all you're doing. You're showing your kids that it's okay to cohabitate with, with a person, but they don't need to love you, they don't need to show you any affection, they don't need to do any of that, but I'm going to stay for the sake of saying I have a man or woman in the house even though they are mistreating me. You're creating a perpetual cycle amongst your children. So love you guys. Make sure you go to my website. I will— hopefully I will see you Tuesday. I hope not— no, don't nothing go crazy to where I gotta come back on. I, you know, Auntie come back on and give her opinion. Um, thank you guys so much who shared my video with Megan Good because I hope she got to see because I love her and, and we embrace her for everything that she is. So thank you guys so much. Um, for sharing that. And like I said, go to AprilMason.com, get your free MP3. It might be in a zip drive, so you might have to open it on your computer to unzip the drive. I'm not sure, uh, I'm gonna unzip it. I'm not sure, but, um, go check it. I'll check it in a minute to see if it— to see if it's uploaded or how it's uploaded. But just because it may not open on your phone, it may open on your, your laptop or your computer if it's in a zip drive, okay? And also make sure to go to aprilmaison.com and register— not register, but, um, get on my email list so you'll be first, one of the first to be notified when our online school starts. Yes, there is a fee, but it's not a— it's not an astronomical fee, because when you invest in yourself, that's the only time you put, uh, uh, things on— things on a priority list to get them done. It's when you want everything for free. I'm giving you free right now, Somebody been blessed today by Auntie. So make sure you go to my site, AprilMason.com, as well as get your DVD. I cannot wait to share. I gotta go rest my voice because we're still recording. My goal is to get it out before the due date, but I've got to get my voice together because I have calluses on my vocal cords as a speaker. And my speech pathologist said I can either stop talking for 2 weeks or I can talk real breathy like Marilyn Monroe, and I told her, darling, I can't talk like that all the time, so I'm gonna try to be quiet a little bit more and not put extra stress on my vocal cords. Okay, so love you guys. Make sure to go to my site. Take care. Mwah! Value yourself and know you're enough and you're worth it. Bye!