Successful, Educated, Independent and Single

I have a run-in at the restaurant. Hey everybody, how y'all doing? Hold on, you said do what now? Get them to the restaurant? Yeah, because we gotta get you right. Yes, we gotta get you right. What was that? Okay, I don't have my glasses. Goodbye. Leave that man alone, I keep telling you. This is my intern, y'all. I'm trying to get her right, but see See you later. All right. Hey y'all, how y'all doing on this Monday? Hold on. I'm in a company meet— well, we just finished our company meeting this morning and I'm sending out my newsletters. If you are on my email list, you should get— you should have gotten my newsletter this morning. Hey, hey, happy Monday. Got my little laptop. We start early in the mornings, y'all, on Monday. So she's gone for the day, and then I gotta go get some other things ready. Hey, To Be Continued Girl! Hey, Ashley! Hey, Steve and Tina! How y'all doing? Hold on, let me put my glasses on. I see. Hi, y'all! Hi, y'all! Hi, y'all! So here's, here's the thing. I'm sitting at home, I was sending out my Monday newsletter. And you know, I get a lot of single women that are in the same position I was in when I first started. Well, before I realized what part of my problem was of why I was not attracting quality men. Like I said, if you did not get my newsletter, you should have gotten it. To get on my newsletter list, go to the top of this page. You might want to refresh and click and get your free MP3 from me. And a lot of people have gotten it. We've had thousands of downloads of it. So go get your free MP3 and it'll put you on my mailing list and then you'll get my newsletter from today. So make sure you go do that. So I was, you know, sitting here and I was talking to my intern and a couple of other people on my team and we were talking about why so many women, you know, are, that are successful, educated, they got their stuff together. Okay, bye-bye, babe. They got their stuff together and they can't seem to attract quality men or even a quality date. It's kind of like, dang, you know, I got it all together. Can't he see that I'm educated, I'm successful, I'm the executive at this company? And for me, it was I'm the CEO of my own company. I run 3 companies now. I minimized it to 3 companies because, you know, Business 101, you got to see what's working and what's not working. So I minimized it down to 3, but I added 4 because you guys know that I'm now part 50/50, part partner of, um, of— I get all excited, wait— Long Branch Ranch, where we're actually having the, uh, ladies night out this upcoming Saturday. So yes, Miss Mason is out there with nature cultivating the land and everything and messing with the horses. I never was really into animals, but now that I am part owner of a ranch, I have to do it. So I'm learning the business, learning the business. Actually, I'm— after I do this, I gotta head on over there, uh, to go look at some of my investment. But, um, for me it was very hard to date, um, as that CEO because— and it wasn't that I was the CEO, it was that I didn't know how to take the CEO hat off. So when you read my newsletter, um, today, you'll get a better understanding of what I'm talking about. I'm not gonna go all into it deep. If you want the rest of it, you got to go get on my newsletter list. And how do you do that? Go to the top of this page, even if you have to refresh after this, and sign up and get my free MP3. I gave you a very free MP3, it's 15 minutes long, and I think you're gonna really like it. The response has been really great, and it's my Redesign Your Love Life Affirmation Attraction MP3. And go listen to it. My son did the track on it, if you hear behind me speaking. So it's free to you, my free gift to you. So go get it. So one of the things that I learned, you guys, for those of you that are new to me, I took a 2-year, 18-month to 2-year hiatus because I was still working on me because I didn't like the results that I was getting in my love life. Now when it comes to business, Ms. Mason knows how to make money. That's the easy part for me. I know how to make it happen. I know how to get it done. I know how to run rings around a man when it comes to being efficient and organized and making it happen, making things jump. I know how to do that. And so with that, when you're in that position, whether it's your own business or whether you're a top executive or you're in a management position, or even if you're not in those positions but you might be in just a regular position but you are responsible for making things happen, what tends to happen is— think about this— you spend more time on your job than you do, um, in your personal life. So whatever you pick up Whatever you do the most is what you pick up the most. So for me, I ended up picking up more masculine traits. Masculine traits would be, um, I listed a lot of these in my Are You an Asset? 10 Keys to Being a Woman Who Brings More to the Table Than Her Appetite audiobook. You can get that at store.aprilmason.com and listen to all 10 chapters. But I'll give you a few of them. Um, some of my, the masculine traits that you use probably more on a daily basis is, um, getting it done, being more logical, thinking, doing, being solutions-based. Those are more of your masculine. And when you are operating in that as a single, successful, educated woman running her own business or being in a position on your job, that's what you take on most of the time. So that's how you know how to function. Even when you're at home, you're in fix-it mode. Even when you are at, you know, doing things with your friend, you are in fix-it mode. Make it happen. Oh, I'll do it, I'll do it. Even when you're within the company of a man, you don't allow him to make it happen, you automatically are on. So for me, one of, one of the things that I realized about myself was, April, the reason why you can't even attract a quality date at the time is because you are operating from a masculine energy. But you need— I've learned later on that I needed to practice the law of receptivity. And what happened is I I was into doing, doing, doing so much and I was trying to use those same logical business skills, that knowledge, that business knowledge. I was trying to apply that in the love department and that don't go together. But I didn't know that. I didn't know that I was using my business skills in love skills. And I would have men tell me, um, you, you introduce yourself like you're in business. I said, what do you mean? You don't say hello, my name is April. You say, hey, my name is April Mason, like you're doing an introduction. I didn't catch that until somebody taught me that. Another guy told me when I remember we were hanging out, um, and he came over. Well, I went to, I got to his house and we were having dinner and when he opened the door he put his arm in the doorway and he said, before I let you in, here's the deal. We got to make this deal. And I said, what's the deal, dear? He said, no business talk, no product talk, none of that. We are here to have a good time. And I said, okay. I'm going to do my best to not, um, do that. Okay. And so he made me aware of that because I wasn't aware of it. And so he and I could talk business, but I didn't know how to turn it off and he did. So that— so one of the things I know in my life, the man that I'll end up with, he has to be someone that knows how to do business but know how to have fun too, because he brings me into his world and shows me how to have, have fun. I might be a little bit more business savvy than he is, but he would have to be a little bit more balanced because I'm still working on that. I'm more aware of it now. I will only bring up business if he brings up business, or if we're, you know, we're talking about it, I'll do that. But I was so caught up in that masculine energy of making it happen because once again, I was in survival mode. I had to make it happen. I was a single mom, I had children, I had to do what I had to do. But I tried to employ those same, uh, analytical tactics when it came to, um, relationship— overanalyzing everything and making moves this way and strategizing that way. And that's not how it's supposed to be. So I had to literally figure this thing out. How do I not do that? And my spiritual mom, she— I remember she told me when I first got back out, I came back out dating and that Um, and, and it was like 2 years or 2 or 3 years ago when I said, okay, ma, I've been, I've been, I've been sitting down and I've been, you know, doing all this femininity work. And, and how I work on me is I have to shut down everything. So I set my businesses up so they can still make money so I could take care of myself, but I'll, I'll take care of myself. And when you read my newsletter from today, you'll understand, you'll get a better understanding of that. And so she said, baby, here's the thing. Um, she said, you are amazing. When it comes to business. She said, I watch you and I, you know, I watch what you do and I love what you do. She said, but what you haven't learned is how to be more in tune with what a man desires. A man desires that other part of you that make it happen, but that's not the part that hooks him. And so she had to teach me this. And I was like, okay, Ma, you know, all right, this is what he texts me. How do I not respond in this type of mode? So I actually I actually got intentional about how I would respond. I would say, "All right, Ma." I would screenshot it. "Ma, here's the text. So what do I say?" And some of the stuff that she sent me back to say, it made me feel uncomfortable because it was like, "That's a little too mushy. That's a little too feeling." And now that I understand better, feeling is from a feminine place. That's why I talk to you guys. For those of you that are in my Teach Me How to Date VIP Academy, you understand the teaching that I did last week and I talked about we're too much in our head and not our hearts and not our feelings. So if you're not in our VIP Academy, you might want to join over there. I did a 90-minute teaching all about that, but I had to learn how to get back into my feeling. I had to learn the importance of, um, sexual tension. I would, I wouldn't create that. I was like, nope, you gonna see me from my mind. You ain't gonna see me from nothing else. I wouldn't create that. And then I would get friend-zoned. Or we would have connection, but we were missing that other element that takes you from being a friend to actually a partner. So I had to learn those things. Oh, um, and I started learning these things back in 2014, and it was like, okay, April, you don't want the same results anymore, so you have to do the work. So when I'm teaching you guys and I'm sharing what I've learned, it's because I had to go through it. It's because I got tired of the same result. It's because of what I heard about me, you know. And one of the things that I do, and I suggest that you do this, ladies, I text messaged about 15 of my good male friends and I said, describe me. Um, at that time, that was, uh, it's 2017, so that was 3 years ago. And I said, describe me. And so they all described me, but one of the things that they all said is that you're very smart and intelligent and you know how to make it happen. And it wasn't anything from the feminine. Thank you so much, uh, Miss Jackson. She said, please join. I love Teach Me How to Date VIP Academy. I'm learning so much. Worth the investment in me. Yes, it's only $10 a week. So if you could— if you can do $10 a week to invest in you, I promise you I do deliver. Uh, I believe I deliver every time based upon what my ladies over there have to say. And I go way more in depth over there, stuff that I would not say here. I can be mama and I can be girl and I can show you vixen and I can show you the feminine. I can show you the walk, the talk, the all— I can show you all of that over there. So what my male friends said is they told me how they perceived me. You know, they told me that, you know, you're very smart, you're very intelligent. Everything was more from a logical business standpoint. They didn't really say— they said you're beautiful. They said you're smart. They say you have sex appeal, all of that, right? They said that, but they didn't say anything about from my feminine standpoint. Thank you, Miss, um, Miss Shante. She said, yes, the VIP Academy Academy is getting us all right. Thank you. And so now I did that same text message to my friends over, I mean, this year, and I said, all right, y'all, you know, I do this, you know, periodically now. Tell me, describe me to me. What do you see? This time it became something different. It was like, you, you are, you are a very soft woman. You're very, um, um, you're very sensual. You, you, you're very in tune. You're very kind. It was, you're very caring. It's like you got, you ooze that, that sex appeal without trying to be sexy. I got those things now. That I did not get before. Everything— it showed me, the light bulb came on when I got my results from my friends this time. One of them, he said— one of them, he said, April, you know, I never even looked at you like that, but now that you have done all this other stuff, it's like, well damn, that's my girl. Like, I never— I never looked at her like that before, but when you walk in the room, you have an air about you, a presence about you, and it's a positive energy. It's like you're a big ball of light. It's And, uh, one of them said, you carry this feminine mystique. I get it now because I had to practice what that was. So I got intentional about becoming the feminine woman that I was designed to be, not the hard, I'm independent, uh, I don't need nobody woman that I was taught to be. So a lot of women are successful, single, and educated because they have not tapped into that feminine side. And until you do that, you can't really complain about the men because you're showing up as a dude. I was showing up as a man, so I get it. But as soon as I tapped into that other side— and it was so funny last night on Collecting Data, after the cameras went off, they were laughing at me because they were like, your whole body language, you just like this, this flirt, you know, you know how to attract. I said, you got to understand, why do I— I never understood why women try not to attract. Men and they say they want men, but they won't do the things that attract them. It's not about being raunchy. It's not about being floozy. But when you understand the psyche of what actually attracts a man, you will stop trying to give a cat dog food and wondering why the cat ain't taking it. Because you're trying to give them what you want to give them and being upset when they don't accept it. And then you say, well, they don't want a successful woman. They're intimidated by a successful woman, a strong woman who got her ish together. And you know, she bad. And I look like this. It's not that. It's your masculine energy that's showing up. That's why you can see that same man that you like go get a woman that is not near as educated, don't have as much as you have, but she oozes femininity. And you're like, wow, what is it? Why did he choose her? Because he did not choose her based upon the same things that you're presenting. And that was a hard pill for me swallow. I had to learn how to get out of survival mode and learn how to get into receptive mode. And it's called the art of receptivity. And so I had to learn how to do that. Was it a little challenge? Yes, because I didn't have anybody to teach it to me. I started learning it myself because I got tired. I'm one of those people like this. When I get tired of seeing the same result, I will go full-fledged in with books, full-fledged in with workshop, full-fledged in with YouTube videos. Reading, writing. I'll go full-fledged in and I'll focus specifically on that. So when I started becoming more of a feminine woman, I shut my everything down. Like I said, I set my businesses up to run on automation and I even— that was the year that I stopped taking on so many clients because I realized, April, you have so many coaching clients. And at the time, I was taking on a lot of big businesses because My skill set in corporate America was business finance as well as I end up doing a lot of marketing work because marketing communications, social media, that y'all, as y'all see, that's my platform. So I taught a lot of businesses how to utilize that, but it was so much on me, you know. Oh, it said, Chantel said, but why does he get hurt but always come back to me for substance? That's because if you had the feminine and the substance, you would be the perfect woman. See, the thing is, if he comes back to you for the logical part— because my exes have done it to me too, they'll come back and say, man, I wish my wife had some April Mason in her. But you got to remember, at the end, the end result is he still married the woman that had more feminine traits than I had. He didn't— he, he did not choose me, the more masculine woman. He wished his wife had a little bit more of that make it happen in her. But overall, as the man and what he needed, he picked a woman that was more feminine at the time than I was. So regardless of if they do come back, because, you know, I would say, well, shoot, you might have married it, but you come, you be coming back over here to get— that was not a compliment. I don't take that as a compliment anymore like I used to, because at the end of the day, he still married the more feminine woman, although he wishes she had a little bit more of what I had. But if I would have had a lot more of what she had, he would have married me. So he would have got the feminine woman and the businesswoman at the same time. But what was more important to him was the feminine woman. So yes, they can come back to you for the substance, you know, because I've had it happen. But at the end of the day, it's not a compliment because somebody else has the ring. Somebody else gets the benefits of him. Somebody else gets, um, you know, his time. And you know, when he— when she needs him, he's there. He can call you for the other substance part, but that's not the thing that his natural makeup as a man, what drew him. So that's That's the thing. That's the part. And I used to think it was, you know, shoot, you know, but it's all right though. He's still calling. Didn't matter. I zoom all the way past that and look at the result. She got the ring and I didn't. So that's the part that you should look at. Don't take that as a compliment and tell him to stop calling you because I had to tell one, oh, April, you know, we should do this. We can do this business together. I said, ask your wife those questions because what you're doing is trying to pull from me, my expertise, but she gets the benefit. I don't. So ask your wife. So, um, that's what I would say, Chantel, when it comes to that. Just something that I had to learn, you know, it ain't a, it's not a compliment. Um, so in that, I find it hard to, as a single parent, to be soft and feminine. That's only because you're not practicing. And so that's what I was wanting to talk to you guys about. Um, I wanted to give you that, but I also wanted to share with you in the month of December, I probably will be taking off in the month of December from my Relationship Thursdays and all that. That's my April Mason cleanse month for the last 3 years. I said, God, I want you to bless me and give me the knowledge to be able to sustain myself and my family without having to work the month of December because that's my renewal time. So probably in the month of December you won't see me as much on social media. I will be in my— I will always be in my VIP Teach Me How to Date Academy. I'll always be over there. But on my Instagram, my YouTube, my Twitter, my Facebook pages, you probably won't see as much because that's my cleanse time. But in the month of December, if you are in the VIP Academy, I will be teaching you the art of receptivity. I will be teaching you. I wrote some of the things down that I'll be teaching and here, here are some, some of them. Um, because we become too hard and we get upset while these, while men aren't accepting us. But can you really, would you accept a feminine man? Would you do that? You probably wouldn't. So why would a man want a masculine woman? I know that our men are, you know, these men out here, it's a different time, day and age. But I'm not convinced that all men are not masculine and not hunters and don't want us. Okay. So some of the things that I'll be teaching over there is, um, where'd it go? Hold on. I got my hat, got my, my, my grandbaby. She don't say laptop. She said, "Boo'cause you got your laptop." So let me look at my laptop. Hold on. I wrote some of them down. Some of the things that I'll be teaching is, um, how to reactivate your feminine energy. I definitely will be teaching that because I can't give you the other pieces until I help you reactivate your, your feminine energy. For those of you that are already inside the VIP Academy, of course you're gonna always get this. For those of you that are not, we are over 100 women, and once we reach 250 women, it will go up from $10 a week. So right now, in the month of December, until we reach 250— 266 women, I'm sorry, um, it will be $10 a week. And if this is information that you want, it's not gonna cost you $3,000, $4,000, $5,000. I wanted to keep it economical. But I understand that I couldn't give it away for free because people only value what they invest in. You can go to vip.teachmehowtodate.com. Uh, Chris said is, uh, um, excellent word. Thank you so much. So I'll be teaching how to reactivate your femininities because like I said, anything else that I teach you until we reactivate that, it's not gonna work for you. But I will tell you this, you will be uncomfortable, okay? So get ready to be uncomfortable and it's just what it is. I had to be uncomfortable. You can't get my results if you don't do what I do, and I can only lead you to the water, darling. I cannot make you drink. So be teaching that. I'll be teaching how to transform from the CEO, or if I'm not a business owner, or the executive, into a high-value feminine woman. Yes, Paula, in December, because right now, um, we're— right now we're into our book. Our book of the month started November 2nd. If you're not in the group, you still go over there and get in the group because, uh, the, uh, the book is ooh kill 'em. I'll post some of the, some of the responses the ladies got, but we, um, right now we are in the book, so I can't teach it right now, Carla. I gotta wait till we get finished going through the book, and I have some homework assignments that I'll be putting in the group in regards to the book. Chantel says, trust the VIP Academy, the VIP Academy Teach Me How to Date is on point, and I am uncomfortable. Good sis, I'm glad you uncomfortable. Another thing I'll be teaching is how to flirt with men without feeling like a loose woman. So I had a bunch of women with me last night after we did Teach Me How to Date. I mean, excuse me, collecting data, and there were men in the room. And so my intern and our bachelorette was like, your body language, you just switched out. You just— I said, it's just a natural thing for me now because I understand Paula said, girl, that book— I know, Paula, that book is getting y'all right, and I'm glad. But I'm creating some homework for you. Don't think that you're just gonna read it and not do some homework. So I got some— I have some worksheets coming for you. So I'm going to teach you how to actually flirt without feeling like a loose woman, because I'm just— I'm a natural flirter. And what it does is it puts me in a different ranking than most women because I do it in a very classy way. It's not a floozy way, but it's in a very classy, high-value woman way. And we have to understand that a lot of our men have been beat down and been said that they are— they look like they thirsty if they approach you. So they might look at you, might not say anything, because all they keep hearing is, oh, he thirsty, he keep calling me. He— but we want high-value asset women. We want you to pursue us. We want you to do that. But other women have made it so bad. Other unwise women has made it so bad that Sometimes as a woman you have to say— you like— matter of fact, my intern, um, and here's— I'll give you one of my little dating things. My intern was sitting here and, uh, she said, okay, Miss April, I saw this guy, he was looking at me and he just kept looking at it and we was looking at each other, but what— I didn't know what to say, you know. I didn't want to just walk up over to him. I said, this is what you should have did. I said, what you should have did was— and I had this happen to me not too long ago in Walmart— the man He was looking, I saw him looking and he just kept, he was stocking the shelves. He was bringing, you know how the guy brings in the Coke or the chips or the Frito-Lay guy. He was putting the stuff, but he kept moving closer and closer to me, but he wasn't saying anything. And I was with my girl. I said, watch this. And so when he kept looking, I would look at him and I would smile. And then I kept looking, he kept looking and I told my girl Stacy, I said, watch this. I said, watch me work. And he looked again and I said, excuse me. Are you going to continue to look at all of this chocolate or are you going to come over and say hello? And he smiled. He said, I really didn't know what to say. I said, well, you can start by saying hello. And so that was it. That's how a high-class value woman approaches. She don't do all the other stuff. She, she, you gotta be in a VIP Academy so I could teach it to you. I can't really teach it all to you now because there are different steps to it because you got to get comfortable with who you are. Chris said that would, that would have done it. And that's what happened. I said, are you gonna continue to look at all of this chocolate and not say hello? I said, because she just might say hello back. And it was that simple. So a lot of women aren't comfortable doing that because you have not become comfortable in your feminine energy. Chantel said trick or treat. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. So I Even though it's— your smile is definitely inviting. If you see him keep looking, all you got to do is just give him a little, you know, flirty flirty. Or here's another one of my lines. It's— I'll say something like, um, you know, excuse me, but you know, you know, you hurting me right now. He was like, what? How am I hurting you? What do you do? You look at me, you're looking at me so hard I can actually feel you. So are you going to say hello or are you going to continue to hurt me? So I'll be teaching you guys, uh, all of that stuff, um, over there. Chris— what Classic Tea says, very smooth. So it's, it's all about how you do what you do, and it's just being, um, inviting, and you letting them know that it's okay, and that if he approaches you, you actually putting the ball in his court. So I'll be teaching you guys that. I'll be teaching you how to enjoy, um, interacting with men. I'll be teaching teaching you how to, like I said, how to approach a man without being the pursuer. The power of feminine mystique. I always tell you guys, I go sit at the bar by myself. Now, I'm not a drinker, and every now and again I may have a glass of wine, but my tolerance is this low, so I'll just be doing it trying to be cute so I can hold my glass the way, you know, one of my wine connoisseur friends taught me. But honey, that glass of wine be sitting there for a long time. But I'll sit there, and I've learned the feminine mystique mystique and not like clockwork. So somebody comes in or somebody's— I'm just saying, don't tell all our business. I ain't gonna tell all the business, Paula. They gotta come join the VIP Academy. So I'll be teaching you guys that about the power of feminine mystique, how to build more confidence, because you can't do anything that I'm suggesting that you do unless you understand when you make an entrance in that room that you own it. I always say there's always going to be a woman that's prettier than me. Have a better body than me, but guess what? There's nobody better than me. When I understood that, it changed the game. I'm, I'm not in competition with any other woman. I can compliment another woman. I don't feel intimidated by another woman. She might have a bigger booty, larger breasts, bigger hips, prettier face, clearer skin, whatever else she has. She may have all of that, but guess what? She's not better than me. Nobody, when I walk in the room, is better than me. Even with all of that other, that other stuff. But I had to learn to get to that. That's all. I had to learn to get to that. And I'm going to teach you how to get to that because we're going to have to break down what made you put the wall up and not be that already. And one of the sexiest things to men, I've learned, is confidence. So when I walk in a room, It's like it attracts them and it's just my daughter, I don't think she's on here today, but I'll say when she's driving me around, I said, ooh. And she's like, what? I said, watch your mama work, watch your mama work. And they'd be like, ugh, mom. I said, watch your mama work. Watch this. I said, my grandbaby said she want a granddaddy. So, so watch your mama work. And so my sons, they hate it. I'm like, but y'all got wives. You getting ready to have a husband. What are you talking about? Watch your mama work. And so one night my daughter and I, we went out and I was real cute and I had on this dress and I had just came from being a keynote speaker and at this event and I was like all glammed out and I said, I ain't ready to go home, Adriana. She said, Mom, what you want to do? I said, I want to go look at men's. She's like, Ma. I said, I just feel like, I just feel like being in the company of masculinity. And she said, all right, well, where we going? I said, go here, here, here, here. So I said, watch how your mama walk in the room. Honey, when I opened the door, I swung that door open, the wind was blowing, and I walked up in there. You couldn't tell me that I didn't own that place. And my daughter, she sit there, she was like, Mama, you are so dramatic. I said, you know, when you confident and you're friendly and you're playful all the same time, you think that you are just— and you are the best thing that entered into the room. So I'll be teaching you guys how to do that because I— if you know my— if those of you that don't know my background, I had to really fight to get to this. So I'm not teaching you something that I didn't have to fight to get to because I dealt with domestic violence, I dealt with molestation for 12 years, I've dealt with date rape, I've dealt with those things that brought my self-esteem and self-worth really, really, really really low. My self-esteem was so low you couldn't walk on it. So I understand where you are. Hey cousin, I can't wait till you get to the A. Um, so I'm not talking from a place of somebody that has never been through anything. I've been through those things. I walked in on my then fiancé. We ended up being— didn't get married, but I walked in on him having sex with another woman 2 months before our wedding. I remember being 18 years old and thinking my boyfriend was my boyfriend girlfriend, and I didn't know I was a side chick. So he invited me and his main chick to, uh, the family barbecue. His mom, she felt so bad because she was like, why would you invite her? And I didn't know he had a girlfriend. I thought I was the one. So I've been beat down in the self-esteem, the self-value, um, and self-worth department. So what you see now is a product of me doing my work. I've dealt with it all, so I can't I can't say that everything was, was really all peaches and cream for me because it was not. You know, being able to walk in a room and see your man butt naked with another woman, um, 2 months before your wedding, that, that, you know, tell you what it did to me. Um, even if a man told me that I could stop by anytime, I wouldn't. Because I was nervous of what I might see. And I just got over that at 40. I'm 42 now, but I just got over that. And I had a friend of mine tell me the other day, I said, well, I'mma come by later. He was like, April, you know you don't have to ask me to come by. He said, just tell me you're on your way. I said, well, in my immediate, I caught myself because I was saying, but I don't, you know, you might have some company. He said, April, don't nobody come over here like that. I said, well, you said I could just come. He said, just call and tell me when you're You on your way. You can do that. Nobody else has the right to do that, but you can do that. And so it still haunted me for a while because I was like, no, even to the point where I might have a key to the house. It was like, well, baby, here go the key. No, I was still calling and say, honey, I'm on my way, baby. And he said, you don't have to tell me you're on your way. You got a key to the house. Yeah, but I don't know what I might see. I don't know what I might see, you know. I, I just— and, um, even dealing with the domestic violence, um, I think I talked to the ladies about that in the group as well. It was to the point where, because I had not healed from the domestic violence, I had my face ran into a wall one time to where you wouldn't recognize the left side of my face. It was so swole. And I didn't wear weave, but I had to go get an aliyah weave because I had that same day because I had to go cover the side of my face so I could go to work. I had to deal with being choked out when I was 9 months pregnant. I was dragged by my hair to the back room. So all of those things— matter of fact, my son came early because of that. So I've dealt with all of this stuff. But I remember in 2011, I was at a friend's house and we were having a conversation. He was just my friend, he's like my big brother, and we always had these little friendly debates. And we were talking And he said, nah, April, nah, cause that ain't it. And I went like this and, and, um, I backed up and he said, April, what, what's, what's going on here? And I said, what do you mean? I didn't realize that I was, I turned into that woman again that used to get hit and beat on all the time. I turned into her. And so I put my hands up or I backed up and as my way to protect myself. And he was like, because I'm 5'3", I be taking 5'4", but I'm 5'3", I'm a pretty little woman. But he's like 6, he was like 6'2", 6'3", bigger guy, like a Shug Knight kind. But he's like my brother and I knew he would never do anything to me, but that, that reaction, you know, that protective mode, um, came back in. And he gave me a hug, he said, "Girl, did you think I was gonna hit you?" And I was like, I don't know what I thought. I don't know because the abuse happened in between '90— how's my daughter? My daughter's 21. So from '94 until '98 is when it happened. And to this day, my daughter at 23 years old remembers seeing my ex slap me in front of her when she was 2. So I'm not— when I teach you guys this stuff, I'm not teaching it from a I'm not somebody that just picked up a magazine and just decided to say, okay, I'm going to teach this. No, I understand the benefit of getting back to who you were prior to the heartbreak, prior to the abuse, prior to the disappointment, prior to the molestation, prior to the rape, prior to all of those things. I understand that because the only reason why we're not operating from that feminine place is because we're afraid because of what happened in the past. So when I talk, y'all please understand I'm exposing to you and sharing with you my life, you know, what I've had to, to deal with. And most people say, I would have never thought that, you know, you, first of all, you don't look 42. And secondly, I would have never thought that you went through all of that. I know what it's like to be homeless and living in a shelter. I've done that. I get it. So in that, um, when I teach, I'm teaching from an authentic place. I'm teaching from a place of I feel you. So there's nothing, no excuse that you can give me. I'm an example of someone that takes away your excuse of why you can't be a feminine woman or why you can't choose to love again or, you know, why you can't let a man lead. I'm a perfect example of of somebody that should hate men, especially Black men, because all of my abuse came at the hands of a Black man. But I love them dearly regardless of what, because I've learned that, April, that's not every man. And I also learned that you were conditioned, so the choices that you made based upon your— some of the things that happened to you when you were young had conditioned you to not love yourself. So you in turn chose men that were a a reflection of the love that you did not have for yourself. So it, it go— it goes so much deeper. Um, and I, like I said, I'll be teaching a lot of that stuff, but you got to stick with me over there in the VIP Academy. I'll be definitely teaching that. And, um, it's not really— Teach Me How to Date really isn't about as much of dating per se as how to attract a man, as it is how to become the, the partner that you want. Okay, that's what it's about. So I'll be teaching that. I'll be teaching how to build confidence, how to enjoy interacting with men, flirting without— with men without feeling like a loose woman, how to transform from a CEO or executive into a high-value classy woman, how to reactivate your feminine energy, the power of feminine mystique, and so much more. So go over to VIP. I'll post the link, vip.teachmehowtodate.com. If you join now at the $10 a week Once we hit our 266 women and it goes up, your rate never goes up. You'll be the same forever as long as you stay in the group. If you leave, I can't guarantee that it'll be the same, but I wanted to keep it economical because number 1, I couldn't do it for free because people don't value free, and number 2, I needed you to learn how to invest in you and not just your makeup and not just getting your hair done and getting your nails done, buy a cute outfit, a cute purse. I needed you to learn how to invest in your self-development. And 3, I needed you to understand that only the only person that can change the results that you get is you. Chris said, willing to sponsor a single mom who can't afford. Mace, inbox me if you have a candidate. Thank you so much, Chris Davis. That is so, that is so sweet. Sweet of you, um, to do. It's $10 a week, or if you want to pay quarterly, it's $110 for 3 months. So thank you so much, um, Chris, for doing that, because I just believe that we can't keep talking about what us women are doing wrong. We can't keep continuing to perpetuate the cycle and have daughters and create them to be the same broken women that we are. If I would not have shifted out, my 23-year-old daughter would be broken mini me and, but she's not, you know, so I had to do that. So this is so bigger than just you finding a man. This is, this ain't, this ain't it. My, my job, my, my goal is not to get you to the altar. My goal is for you to become a quality woman so that you can at least start attracting quality men into your life. So you understand, I don't have to pick the first man that comes my way and tell me I'm pretty and that he likes me. Because I like myself. I know that I'm pretty. I know that I'm a beautiful woman inside and out. I know that I'm a resilient, interdependent woman, and I'm a kind woman. I know those things about me. I know I'm intelligent. I understand that my education, my degrees, and the social circles that I'm a part of are a byproduct, but that doesn't make me me. That's not who I am. That's what I've been able to accomplish. I understand those things. So when you get to that place the sin of desperation, you lose that, you know, it's not the same. So I wanted to be, to share that with you today and to get to tell you that I'll be teaching that in December. I probably won't be on Facebook as much because like I said, I'm running a new business down there on, on the ranch. So I want to, I really do want to learn as much as I can about that business because I want to open up another one. You know, I'm partner on this one, but I want my own. So I'm using this as an opportunity to learn how this type of business is run because from what I'm getting is very lucrative. And I like being outdoors with nature and all that good stuff. So I'll be taking off in December but I won't be taking off from my VIP Academy. That's an ongoing thing. You know, I answer questions in there. A lot of you inbox me questions. I answer questions over in the VIP Academy. Your personal situation, we go into it and you have a community of women that are rooting you on. You know, Great Britain, we got to ask you about what happened Saturday on your date. I always ask, okay, so what'd you do on your date? Let me, let me see. What line did you use? What did you say? How did you walk in? I'm, I'm, I'm really involved in that group because, um, I'm your accountability partner. So with that, um, I'll be over there. So join the VIP Academy. So December we'll be doing that, but you still have time to join us now. To get in on the book club that we're reading. That book is getting these ladies together. I've been reading the comments and that book got me, got my life. And so it's going to help you get your life as well. So for the next 4 weeks, so at 7 o'clock I go live inside of the group and we discuss this book every, um, for the next 4 weeks on, on Thursday except Thanksgiving. We'll, we'll follow it up that next week and then right after that will go into, um, this whole feminine piece that I'll be teaching you and transforming out of just being the, the CEO woman. Because like I said, whatever you do the most is what will come out. So because we spend most of our time working for someone else, that's what— though those are the traits that we cultivate, so that's what we do in our day-to-day life. Rhonda said, wow, on the book. You like the book, Rhonda? Is the book getting your life? Uh, Chandra said the book in the VIP class is a life changer. Good. I have been, uh, Chantel said I have been scared to download it, but I will because you all in my business. Download the book, Chantel. You did not join the group to not participate all the way through. So download the book. I'm gonna tell you, it's gonna make you uncomfortable. Some of the ladies said when they listened to the first chapter, it made them need a hug. But at the end of the day, it helps you get your life. Um, so, and then I posted something about 23, 23, um, things to, to look at to decide if you've been single too long. And a lot of ladies, one lady said, oh, number 9 and number 15, you— and so I get it, I totally get it, I, I get it. But you can't desire a man and not want to be better for yourself first so that you can attract the quality man that you need. What is the book? You got to join the group. This is a part of our VIP Academy. You have to join the group to get the name of the book and go through it with us. Michelle said, I really want to read the book. You got to get in the group, got to get in a group. So I know sometimes it can be hard investing in yourself, but look at it like this: I invest more than $10 a week into getting my hair done. To be honest with you, if you stayed in the group for the entire year, It's only $500 for coaching for an entire year, and I charge more than that for one-on-one coaching, um, just for one session. So I'm giving you a $500 for entire year. Think about that. You get all of this information at $10 a week. Um, you attract a lot of men. Do that means they have to be more successful than you? Because No, it doesn't. That's the funny thing. When you get into your feminine energy, you realize what I used to think was my ideal is no longer my ideal. I actually, to be honest with you, the blue-collar guy actually gives me more of what I need than the white-collar guy does because I learned, and I'll give you guys this little tidbit, I learned that my primary love language is quality time. Well, the white-collar guy that is always on the grind, always working, always trying to climb that corporate ladder, he doesn't have enough time for me. So although on paper and in pictures and in image I look great with that successful CEO or that successful businessman or that artist or actor that I've dated or that football guy that I've gone out with, we look good together, absolutely, hotness. But when I take away those things and look at what are my core needs, what do I need, I find that the confident blue-collar guy is more in tune with me. He's more, um, open. He has more time for me. Um, yes, he balances me out. He actually, um, I respect him on a whole nother level. He, he can tell me to get somewhere and sit down and be like, no, we ain't doing that. And I'd be like, we're not doing it? No. Um, and one, someone of them told me the other day, April, unless I tell you, you can't do that. You can do whatever you choose. It's only when I tell you that you can't, that you can't. I'm like, okay, you can go to, uh, actually, Derek, the group is only for women only. Um, but Ladies that want to join is vip.teachmehowtodate.com. So with that, I find myself to answer that question. Doesn't mean that he has to be more successful than me because if he's a man that knows how to, um, if he's a man that knows how to use his brain and he's trying to do more, I know how to make money. I can take, I can pull, extract what he has in him. And help him amplify. I know how to do that. That, that's the easy part for me. So I kind of operate a little backwards than most women. Most women looking at the, you know, the financial part. That's cool, but I don't look at that because I know with the right man, with the right vision, with the right ambition, with the right drive, although he might work 8 to 5, but he's trying to get off of that. He's not trying to do that for the rest of his life, but he treats me treat me well, that will be the guy that I chose. So with that, I'm a little bit different. So on paper, yes. Yeah, I've had somebody tell me, you look like you'll be with this guy, this guy, this guy. So everybody has said that. I always get the, you look like you will be with the Morris Chestnut type or the Boris Kodjoe type or the Idris type or the football player or the this type. I get that all the time. Those guys, now that I'm in tune with what April needs, those guys don't have enough time for me. So you gotta stop looking at— I always taught you guys, stop looking at ideal and look at what your core needs are and what it is that you need. So my guy might be a country guy, straight, straight out of Mississippi, and he talked with a little Southern drawl, you know, my little cowboy boots. But he has that masculine energy that I need. He also may have the ability to have the time that I need, and he treats me well. So you got to look at those things. So Corey says, "Ms. Basie, you have a great understanding of men." That's because, Corey, darling, I've studied the psychology of men. So I'm not— when I talk, I'm not talking from somebody that think. I'm I'm talking about somebody that has actually studied. If I want better results with men, how do they think? Why would I not study a man in the way that he thinks if that's what I want? Why would I not do that? I'm not going to sit here and try to force-feed him what I'm thinking and what the TV tells me that he wants. I'm going to say, if, if it's a man, a great man that I want, I need to study how men think. Now, do I know everything? Of course not. I'm not a man. I'll never know. But when it comes to women and how men think, I had to learn how to study that. I'm like, if I want to learn how to fix a freaking car or make a cake, I'm going to study the recipe on how to make a cake. I made my first pound cake for Christmas last year. What did I do? I learned the recipe on how to make that cake work. So when I decided, you know what, April, I don't want the results of bad men anymore. What type of woman do I need to be to attract an asset kind of man? How do asset men think? How do they choose women? I had to study that because that's what I wanted. And to me, that's just common sense versus trying to give a man what you think they want and then label them as being intimidated because you're trying to give them stuff that they don't need. That, that the stuff that we try to give them are what I call added bonuses. You trying to give them what you've accomplished. You're not trying to give them the feminine woman. And the feminine— the masculine man, a true masculine man, is attracted to that. So that's, um, that's just— that's just my thought process. I don't know, I don't know. That's just Mason. So if you would like to do that, and for those of you that was like, wow, $10 a week, you got to get to a place to where you can stretch yourself. It wasn't until I started making an investment. For those of you that are new to me, I started my first business with $50 from a welfare check, homeless, that I was living with, living in shelter with 3 kids. So we afford what we want to afford. If you go to work and you're spending money on lunch, how about buy your lunch at groceries at home and make your lunch so you can afford the $10 a week. Look at, look at your budget. Look at where you're spending money that you're wasting money. So that you can invest that into yourself. Because we spend more than $10 at the drive-through. I spend, what, get it just, I don't even have on any false nails, but getting my nails painted, gel nails, and my toes done, my natural stuff without any, um, any artificial anything, is $47. No, this, it was $55, and it was what it was. For me to get gel nails and my feet done. So that's a whole month of Teach Me How to Date right there. So you have to ask yourself, as a wise woman, am I willing to invest in my self-development, or am I only willing to invest in my outward appearance? Two different things. So if you are working and you can't afford $10 a week, you have to ask yourself, where are you spending unnecessary money? Because I'm not gonna lie to you, it was very difficult for me to invest $50 into myself to start a business when I knew I had to buy those kids' shoes. But I understood if I didn't do it now, I would be in the same position, um, you know, now. And then my next big purchase after I started that business that had me sweating, y'all, was I bought a $99 HP all-in-one printer so I can print out my own flyers. And I was sweating when I did that because I had never invested in me and my development and my family like that. But I had spent $100 getting my hair done, getting my hair braided and all that. That was easy for me to do. So it takes you maturing and say, you know what, I'mma budget myself this week. I'm going to spend X amount of dollars and I'm going to take my lunch to work. I can't hang out with the folks at the job. I'm— if I got to eat the same thing a couple of days in a row, I'm gonna make enough of it and I'm gonna put it in the freezer and I'm going to do what I have to do. Because until you get tired enough, you won't do anything about it. So if you want to get into the group and you say, April, you know, the $10 a week I'm working, but I got all of this other stuff. I promise you, you have $10 a week. You just aren't budgeting your money right to not have it. That's all this is. So you have to decide what's more important. Is eating at McDonald's more important? Is going to the movies more important? Or is it time for you to become that feminine woman so you can attract a man into your— well, first of all, so you can be a feminine woman for you, but then attract a man into your life so that you have two people in the household so you ain't tripping on $10 a week no more. So you don't, you don't have to be worried about that. And so many people are on their hustle and grind trying to do it by themselves. It's kind of like if you cultivate that woman that's in you, you can attract somebody to come in and help you. Same thing with the fellas. If you stop being on your hustle and grind so hard and trying to focus on getting this money right, you can actually open up a little bit to say, you know what, I am on my grind, but if a woman does come in, I'm going to— I'm not going to put her off or not date her because I'm trying to get myself together. I'm actually going to date her because she might be the missing link to help you stop having to grind so much. Absolutely. Um, Monita, she said, if you want a man to be more, you got to do more. You got to do something different. What you've been doing isn't working. So like I said, that is what I had to do. And I want to share that with you. And I made it really reasonable. And, um, like I said, I'm not talking off the side of my neck. I'm talking about what I've had to learn. And my daughter told me the other day, we were talking because she— we planning this wedding and she just been calling me all day. And she, um, I told her, I said, girl, check your mailbox on, um, Friday, you know. And she's like, why? I said, I sent you something. And I didn't tell her what I sent her, but she was trying to plan this wedding on just you know, via email. I got all the emails. So I sent her a wedding plan. I went on Amazon, ordered her a wedding planning, um, book. And so she was like, oh my God, Mom! But then we started having these chit chats. She said, Mom, it's amazing how you've transformed over the years. I said, really? She said, it's very noticeable. She said, because you used to be real strong and loud and angry and yelling, and, and I don't— I just don't have that in me anymore. It wasn't until I transformed and I decided I wanted a different result. How do I— how can I be that woman? That woman. I found a woman that represented what it is that I wanted to become, and I said, what do I need to do to become a woman like that? What do I need to do? And so I took control of my own life versus placing the blame. But you know, these men— I don't care, you chose him regardless of the information that you use to choose him. Was flawed. Doesn't matter. It's time to become unflawed. It's time to take responsibility. And I'm just a big, um, I'm just big on the power of a strong family, the power of two. It took two, a man and a woman, for you to be created, to get here. And I just believe it takes two to make it happen, especially when it comes to family. I just, I'll never take down from that because I understand the power of people, two purpose mates coming together, not two playmates, not, oh, he cute, she cute, I love him, I love her. Now you don't get married just because of love. A person should come in to complement your purpose and help you fulfill your purpose. They should be able to help you fulfill your purpose. Um, you know, hey, see what you doing, girl? That's my intern, Sia. She said, I can't even imagine you any other way, my sweet Sweetie, beautiful April. Thank you, darling. Y'all, if y'all would have seen me way back when, you would have been like, that is not the same woman. If my kids was on it, I put, I put them on here. They, they have a lot to tell you about, um, how, how I was. And, and, but the funny part about it, I'll leave you with this, the funny part about it, even though when I was that kind of woman there was something on the inside pulling me and me desiring to be that other, that other woman, but I had barricaded her all the way in that I couldn't become her. So it was something about that woman that was just like, this can't be all that it is, but I have to be strong. I have to be independent because I chose to have kids without being married. So I added burden on to my life because that's what I chose. But who can I blame? I couldn't blame anybody but myself. I had to take responsibility for my actions. And so I put myself in a position to be a single mom. Even, you know, I didn't wait and make him marry me first. I did that. Nobody else did that. I believed the hype. But what I didn't do was respect myself enough to say, you know what, I really do want to be with you, but in order for this, I have to start building a family. I need you to put a ring on it. You know, this is not for men, but I got something coming for you. My good friend Jojo, because Jojo and I teach on the same wavelength, I talked to Joe and I don't know if I made this announcement, but I talked to Joe the other day and I said, Joe, A lot of men want to join my group, but I think that they would be better served hearing from you. Joe and I sound exactly alike, but he does it from the men's standpoint. He talks about how to even recognize a diamond. Matter of fact, I'll reshare a video of his on this page today so you can understand how he teaches and you can hear, you know, that we teach very, very much alike. So he's starting a Facebook group. It's a free group for the men where he's going to teach teach you the men's side of what I teach the women. So I didn't want to leave the fellas out there because I know that you always ask me, hey April, how can, um, how can we be a part of this? And I don't, I don't, as a woman, I don't want to give you in-depth information like that. I want a man to do that. I can, I can show you some things. I can show you how to attract an asset type of woman. But I can't teach you how to be an asset type of man. I could only tell you what an asset woman looks for. Joe is going to teach you how to be an asset type of man who can actually recognize a diamond woman and how you need to be as a man, even if you didn't have a father or if you didn't have male role models in your life. He's going to teach you that. So I'll call him and ask him when he's going to start this group so I can share it with you. Matter of fact, he and I might come live together um, this week so we can discuss it and so you can hear what he has to say. But I just think the fellas will be better served hearing it from a man than me. I just happen to be using my platform to teach it from a different perspective, and the men say, okay, well, you know what, that makes sense, and you want to learn more, which I'm glad you want to learn more. But I think you'll be better served hearing it from him because he can teach you stuff that are strictly man that I might say something, you say, yeah, but April, this and that and the third, but I might still try to give it to you in a way that a woman gives it to you, but you can't receive it. But Joe can give it to you in a man's way, but you can still hear me live here and you'll be able to say, okay, now that I learned this before over here from Joe, I understand what she's saying about why wise women would not say that. A woman, I can identify the difference between a woman and a wise woman now. So I'll talk with him and see when he's going to launch this group, but I did tell him it was needed. I told him this about 2 weeks ago. He set it up, he just hasn't launched it yet. So hopefully I can get with him this week and maybe we can come live together and he can tell you what's in the group, and maybe he can do a little session with you live right here on my Facebook page. You guys can go join the group, but I think he said it's going to be a free group, um, for you guys. So it's not that I'm not creating things for the men, it's just that I think a man to teach a man. Like, a woman can raise boys, but she cannot teach him how to be a man. I can teach you and show you what an asset woman looks like and what she needs and what she desires. And while we think totally different from the women that you've been dealing with, I can show you that. But I can't teach you how to become that type of man to attract that type of woman. And we need more of you becoming asset men, because if I'm teaching— there's 120,000 people people on this page. My view, my, you know, I get up upwards to over 100,000, sometimes a million views on my video. So if I'm constantly teaching hundreds of thousands of women how to be asset women, we need somebody teaching hundreds of thousands of men how to be asset men. So I employed my boy Joe because I know we teach on the same wavelength. So I gotta go, I gotta head on over there to the ranch. You know, I got my cowboy boots on. Um, And so going over there, go to— if you want to join the group, go to vip.teachmehowtodate.com. I'll post the link here and join the group today. I promise you, you'll be blessed. I got videos over there. I did a 90-minute teaching last week. I did a teaching, um, over there about why you being too available, um, keeps him from, you know, from connecting with you because you just do— you have no purpose. You're not on purpose. You you're not, you know, in your feminine energy doing something with your life. So I have videos over there about that. I think I have a video called 7 Keys to Tapping into Your Femininity. So we got all kind of stuff over there. We got the Teach Me How to Date Workbook you can download. So I just go into the group, I answer your questions over there. I'm very engaged, um, over there. I do a live Q&A, um, over there as well. You can ask me questions. So my— I'm dedicated to helping you get get from where I was, you know, because it's a, it's a hard feeling, you know, when the holidays come, you see people, you know, connecting, you, you don't have anybody to support you, especially if you are a woman in a power position like myself. And I got on— if you don't have my book, um, 10 Keys to Being a Woman Who Brings More to the Table Than Her Appetite: Are You an Asset? I wrote that book and I did that audiobook because I was at an event and it was about 600 women there and they got awards and about 30 of the women that got awards, they never thanked the spouse. Maybe 2 or 3 thanked the spouse. And I was like, wow, that's interesting. 2 years after that, 1 or 2 years after that, I got the same award. I was one of those women that was presented with the Innovator/Entrepreneur Award. It was in Sacramento. 600, 700 people were there. And I too was one of those women that did not have a spouse to stand up and say, I thank my husband. Or my man for being there and supporting me in this. So I became one of those women as well. Um, so I understand it. So I'm teaching from that perspective, that strong, powerful woman that needs to be able to take it down a notch, not be dumb, because I'm far from stupid. I'm far from, um, somebody, a doormat that you can walk over. I'm very assertive. I just learned when to use it and when not to use it. And I I understand what moves men. And I had a group of women say, April, isn't that wrong? I said, no, I've learned what moves men. So the way that I dress, the way that I say things, how I even answer the phone with, hello, this is Ms. Payson, how can I help you? Or if I say, I see your name on the caller ID and I might say, I might answer the phone. Let's see, who do I, a Chris, it could be a Chris. I'd be like, hey Chris, how you doing today? He's like, that voice. I said, what is it about my voice? He said, you sound like you just woke up. I said, maybe I have. How you doing today? I understand what moves. I understand scent. I understand all of that. So it's— so once again, when I study the psychology of men, why would I not employ the things that I know will attract that versus trying to do what the crap I want to do? And sir, he want a steak and I'm trying to serve him up some sloppy joe and then get mad when he don't eat my sloppy joe because he don't eat sloppy joe, he eats steak. So am I, am I, is he wrong for not, for rejecting my sloppy joe? Cause that ain't what he wanted. I know I had to learn how the man ate so I could give him what he needed. And me giving him what he needed, I got the response that I wanted. So love you guys. Let me get on out here about these little horses. See you later.