The Miseducation of Femininity🤦🏽‍♀️ https://www.feminineidentityquiz.com/

April Mason here. You see the title, Watered Down Femininity, and, uh, it is driving me up the wall, darlings. So come on in here so I can give you my thoughts and, uh, where I think we should be headed. As someone who was more so the pioneer of this whole femininity, softer, gentle life conversation on a mainstream level, of course they were the elders that came before us. But on the mainstream level, that the person that really put that in the forefront, especially Black women and femininity, was myself. And you can go back and start looking at old videos that I've had going all the way back to 2008, and then I really start heavily talking about it in 2010, and then went viral I think in 2015. And so when it comes to this femininity talk, and especially in our community on a mainstream level, yours truly started that conversation. However, where it has gone has me totally disheartened. You know, it's been watching this whole thing unfold. It's like, what is going on? Femininity has now been watered down to something you can buy from the beauty supply store, something that is only to be used to get a man. It's very interesting that me talking about femininity, the first people think— a person ask is, but where's your husband? Femininity has nothing to do with your relationship status or a husband. Like, it has nothing to do with any of those things. But the fact that misinformation is louder The fact that women— and I say it— they always come to me looking for the man. How can I be more feminine for blah blah blah blah blah? I seldomly get testimonials from women saying, you know what, Miss April, I embrace my femininity like you taught, and these wonderful things happened in my life minus a man. Now of course we love men over here. Let me say that. We love men over here, especially when you understand what a man is and you understand his nature. You tend to love men because you know how to handle them, but you gotta know what they are at their core. But femininity is not reserved for a man. You know, this whole soft life has gone crazy, and soft life and femininity are not necessarily synonymous. If you're in my All Things Feminine Social Club, I did a whole breakdown on the difference between femininity and soft life and how they don't have to be synonymous. You can tell by the fact that although soft life is supposed to be— I'm in my soft girl era— the world isn't shifting because it's an act, it's not a becoming. And so I have to say you know, as now considered one of the elders, you know, in this, I'm very disheartened at how femininity has been taken and watered down and, and broken down to the smallest, the smallest minuscule of a, of a speckle of salt to what, you know, to compare to what it actually is. You know, when we understand that femininity has nothing to do with your marital status It has nothing to do with your size. It has nothing to do with your skin color. And, and I just— it was made aware to me last year because I got so many women that would email us saying, thank you so much for making it cool for dark-skinned women to be feminine. And I didn't even know that, that was a thing, because femininity has nothing to do with what you look like. It has nothing to do with how you dress. It has nothing to do with class, decorum, um, etiquette. Any— I hear people say, well, you know, to look more feminine, go get some bundles and put on a whole lot of makeup. That does not make you feminine. And so the fact that it's been so watered down and it's only associated with a man— a man— and even men do this. Men talk about women's femininity because it benefits them. They don't talk about femininity as a whole, as what it is for you as a woman. It talks about— they talk about femininity that benefits them. A woman's, a woman's femininity benefits a man to the umpteen power. There's a reason why you see a lot of men who have women working around them, but you will never hear a man talk about the importance of a woman's femininity that does not— then he doesn't make it benefit him. Okay, so that's why you have all of these, these clown podcasters talking about femininity and associated it with, if she's not feminine, she can't get no man, because they don't know the true essence of what femininity is. Femininity has nothing to do with a man whatsoever. Now, the more feminine you are, the more you will attract more of a masculine, uh, a man that has embodied his true masculinity, and hopefully that he is a, um, what, evolved masculine man. But most of the men talking about femininity has no clue of what it actually is because they're only associating it with themselves. So that's selfish. Selfish. That's why I said earlier, you got to understand the nature of what a man is. So, and I've talked— for those of you that have been in my programs and things, I've taught you that. You said my badges are back. Well, thank y'all if y'all giving badges. I don't see it on my end, but I was banned from badges. But as I was saying, you got to know to understand the nature of a man when he's talking about femininity. And you see all of these men talking about single women and their femininity, it's because it benefits them. Let's have the real conversation about what it means to be a feminine woman, minus being a mother, minus being somebody's wife, being somebody's girlfriend, being somebody's, you know, anything to anybody other than yourself. Your femininity, it's not just soft and gentle. If you read my book Identity Switch: Becoming the Woman Who Gets What She Wants, in the chapter about femininity, I talked about femininity is like Mother Nature. It's kind, it's nurturing, you know, it provides for you, but it's also destructive, it's also dark, it's also cause catastrophe, it also pushes back when anything that's coming up against it is not true. This is what the feminine woman is. But the moment you raise your voice, the moment you do something that's not considered classy, you're deemed not feminine because they are associating outward attributes for femininity, and that's not what it is. Even, um, I don't, I don't know if it was Hinduism or something I was reading, and femininity, the symbol for that, the animal for that, is a, is a, uh, a jaguar. Why? Because of how it moves in the dark. You know, femininity rests well and, and is very comfortable in darkness. You wanna know why? When you have your most vulnerable moments, when is it? It's in the wee hours, in the darkness. But we don't have those conversations. We don't have those conversations about the importance of a woman embracing her dark femininity, you know. Oh, that's seduction. No, it's dark feminine. We work real really well in the dark, right? We grow in the dark. Our creativity comes from there. And we have broken that thing down all the way down to be about a man? Are you kidding me? The only people out here in these streets having these conversations about women and their femininity are men because they're understanding that more and more women are pulling back their femininity. And studies show that women cultivate communities and are living longer because men don't do the same. So of course they're going to have conversations about you and what you're not. I heard something the other day that said a woman, uh, by 2060 or 20-something, women between the ages of 35 or 40 with no children and no husband won't be— won't be some— it was something negative. And it's like, see, the only people that are having these conversations are men who want to utilize your femininity for themselves because they understand what it does and the power that it has. So everybody knows how to use our femininity for their own benefit but us. And that's why I started talking about it on— in mainstream, because everybody uses it. Your boss uses it in the workplace. The men that you entertain, they use it. They get— they feed off of it. Men feed off of our femininity. You know, femininity makes the world go round, but it doesn't get the respect that it deserves, because femininity is always attached to how it benefits other people. Am I making sense? Am I, am I making sense? So I know the ladies that are talking about the soft life and all of this other stuff and femininity, I know they mean well, but what's happening is you've taken a subject that you're not versed in because your mothers weren't versed in it because they couldn't teach you femininity. Your grandmothers weren't around to teach you femininity, what it actually is at its core. So now you think it's looking pretty, being fashionable, dressing classy, you know, having decorum and being elegant and, you know, opulent. That's not it. That's not it. How do men use femininity at work? Anytime they have a woman working for them. Anytime a man has a woman around him, he's feeding off of her femininity. Every single time. If you read my book, I talk about why men go to strip clubs and do business, have business meetings, and may never give a girl a tip. It's the sexual feminine, feminine that's in the air. Femininity is creative, and y'all just be giving it away, you know, like it ain't nothing. Femininity and having it, it should cost a man to have your femininity because of what it does to his life. But y'all just don't respect it. You just out here all willy-nilly. Men will go to the strip club and have business meetings and do multi-million dollar deals because the feminine, uh, creative sexual energy that's in the air is feeding his masculinity from a subconscious place. And y'all just be giving it away. Your femininity, yes, is your currency, and I've been teaching you this for years, but y'all just be giving it away. Y'all be just running behind these men and, and all that, understand— understanding that they're using the very thing that God gave you, and you don't even understand the benefits of it because you so wanna— I wanna be a soft life, and it's my soft girl era. Cut the BS. Cut the BS. You're not in the soft girl era if you don't understand the power, the true power of your femininity. If you don't walk in femininity, spirituality, sensuality, and wisdom, you are just doing something. It's a fad, it's a trend. But if you don't understand the power that a woman, a feminine woman carries, you are just going with the trends. And once the next trends come along, you gonna be on to that too. There's an art to being a feminine woman. Wonder why? Because you would have had to study your entire makeup of what you are as a woman. Most women don't do that. Arguing over men? I wish I would. When you understand that men are very aware of what your femininity does, that's why you hear so many women say, you know, I helped him go, I helped him blow up and he left. He used your femininity on you. He extracted it and used it for himself, but you trying to be down and you did not put a price tag on what it would cost. Not— for you, it might not have been money, it might have been a commitment, it might have been a marriage, it might have been whatever your— whatever your currency is, your prices. You didn't put a price tag on it and they just used it and sucked you dry. And now they're off living their best lives because you don't know the power of what you are as a woman. Like I said, pay attention, ladies, pay attention. You know, Auntie be getting upset because I'm like, I set the stage for us, I set the stage for us, and y'all just be pushing back. But when men have mastered how to extract every last bit of your femininity out of you, leaving you high and dry— which is why women say, um, a man don't create a safe space for me to be feminine because he's is not supposed to. You are responsible for your femininity, and it's up to you who you decide get to drink from your cup. But everybody wants to be the builder chick. Everybody wants to be the woman that, you know, you should be striving to be the Amplify Woman. The Amplify Woman is the woman that takes what a man already has and amplifies it, and it's a benefit in it for her too. Because that kind of energy of woman, a visionary man that's about his bag is not gonna want her to leave his side. Why? Because she is the multiplier, she's the amplifier. She ain't building nothing. But no, we gotta be down, you gotta be down, you gotta be down, you gotta hold somebody down. Because you don't know the power of your femininity. But everybody soft life. Everybody's off girl era. Oh, black girl luxury, cut that BS out too. Ain't no such thing as black girl luxury. Either, either you like luxury or you don't. Just because you haven't had the opportunity to be, have luxury things and go to luxury places, don't label it black girl luxury because it makes you look like this, like you ain't used to nothing. No, luxury is luxury whether I'm black, blue, green, or purple. Okay, femininity is not about— and soft life is not about expensive things. It's not about going to trips in Greece so y'all can have a little green, purple, orange, and red dresses blowing in the wind. That's not what femininity is. How much money you can spend— oh, he bought me a bag and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. That's low-class women who do not understand their femininity should not just cost a purse, should not be able to cost a trip to Dubai. Child, please, is that all you're worth? Is that all you're worth? Come on, women, do better, do better. I hate getting on the internet. When I tell y'all I hate getting on the internet, if it wasn't for business, I would not be on the internet because y'all got us out here looking horrible as women. And men are running game all day, every day. Wonder why? Because they have studied women, and y'all don't understand your power. And you letting these lames— it be the lamest dudes— run game on you because you don't understand the power of your femininity the way they do. Okay, it doesn't work like that. And then you wonder why you're getting the same results. If you're having negative conversations about men, you do not walk in your femininity. You just have a— maybe have a soft life because that's what you created. Feminine women do not have negative conversations about men because they attract and entertain a different kind. We love men over here, we just know what they are and we treat them accordingly, okay? Won't get into that. You got to be a part of my other stuff to get into that, darling. That's not for the internet. But when you understand your power and you walk in it, it has nothing to do with I'm a size 16. It has nothing to do with I, I might not be looked at as of society's definition as pretty. It's no— it has nothing to do with I don't have enough money, I drive a raggedy car. It ain't got nothing to do with that. But y'all walk around here and let somebody tell you because you got kids ain't nobody gonna want you because you don't know the power of your femininity. You let people walk around here talking about if you over 35 you didn't hit the wall, but guess who— but you're not paying attention to who's having the conversations. Women aren't out here having conversations about men being over a certain age and having ED and all of this other stuff. They're— we're not having them conversations. Why? Because women have mastered and learned how to live without men. Men have not mastered how to live without the feminine— feminine woman and the vagina that comes with her. But y'all be out here in these— on these internets just making us look stupid, making us look stupid. Chasing behind men, letting men play you because you don't know what a man is and you don't know how to choose based upon femininity, spirituality, um, sensuality, and wisdom. Anybody out— men are out here talking, having these conversations because they see what's going on. They understand, and they understand they have mastered how to play you. No, they don't make themselves look stupid. They make women as a whole. This is an imaging thing, especially with Black women. The imaging of today's Black woman is not getting us anywhere, and I don't care who get mad. The fact that today's Black woman can be duplicated by men on TikTok— I saw a guy do his makeup like a woman, and a woman said something to him. And he said, "Uh, boo, I do you better than you." The fact that a man can say that— the imaging of today's woman has gone out of the window. So yes, as a whole, unless we get it together as a whole, got us out here looking stupid as a whole. The fact that a man can duplicate you today— think about that. And I, I, what nothing I can say. I sent the video to my friend. I said, oh girl, ain't nothing I can say. I said, ain't nothing I can say. Because he told the girl, she, he said, oh boo, I do you better than you do. I'm like, and he ain't lying. He ain't lying. So ladies, it's time to get back to what we were created to be, and that is women. Everybody, every woman has their own feminine brand. Mine is called Refined Hood. I done told y'all that I'm from— I was born and raised in the Richmond, Oakland, Berkeley area. I got that, I got that little edge to me, but I also have the refineness too, and I embrace all that. A lot of women try not to embrace their feminine identity. If you have not taken, uh, my free test, go to the link in my bio and take— go to feminineidentityquiz.com and figure out what your feminine identity is and embrace it. Stop trying to be the prim and proper definition of what femininity is. Everybody's not going to like the color pink like me. Everybody's not going to go to the country club where I'm just coming from right now like me. Everybody's not going to do things in a, uh, more of a luxury, higher-end manner like I like to do. But then I also like— I just, I went to the country club, but then I went to one of my— the older ladies that I just met, I went to her little restaurant in the hole in the wall. To get something I wasn't supposed to have. You know, the little soul food. So you got to understand and embrace all of your femininity in, in the brand that it comes in, as long as you have the key components: spirituality, femininity, wisdom, and sensuality. You take those 4 components because all 4 of them, baby, is going to cause you to have to do a feminine identity switch on the inside. And from there, you, you will be— you will become more of a grounded feminine woman, not the naive feminine, but a grounded feminine woman. And you can take all 4 of those parts I just gave you and put it on your personality type, and then you will have developed your feminine identity. But stop trying to be what we see on these— this here internet. We call it April Mason's internet today, okay? All of this, all of this fraudulent foolishness. Ladies, it's time to rise up. Our government is running amok because there's no feminine energy there. They're women, but there's no feminine energy there, period. The reason why the world is the way it is is because there is no balance. Thank you for the badges. There is no balance. Rise up, ladies. Stop using femininity just to get a man. Put the man to the side. Men— penises ain't ever going nowhere. Yes, it will. It ain't never going nowhere. They gonna always be— men are going to always— heterosexual men are going to always be attracted to women. You can find the quiz in my bio, but make sure you, you understand your femininity is not to get the byproduct of a man. That shouldn't be your motivating factor. The motivating factor is the woman that you become, the woman that you can become to show your daughters and your sons. April, doesn't wisdom, femininity, and spirituality fall under femininity? No, it doesn't. No, it does not. Just because you feminine don't mean— you know how many feminine, unsensual women that I know? They're all different things, but they're all— they all can be used synonymous. Just because you feminine don't mean you got wisdom, because there is the naive feminine, like my granddaughter. She's a little— she's, she's so— she operates in her feminine so much, she's just fluid with it, but she's naive right now in it. So no, they're not the same thing. Women have made men so much the center of their lives that they only get ready to be that feminine woman when they get tired of messing with Pookie and Ray Ray, you know, or the corporate dude that, that end up being a dog. Now it's like, let me embrace my femininity so that I can meet a better man. This next generation, or even the ones right now, ladies, every time I go into the schools And I go speak at a lot of the schools now that I'm between the Midwest and Atlanta. I'm always booked to go speak in the schools. And guess what I see? I see fake little girls running around. They weaves is long, their eyelashes long. They— we ain't taught them how to love themselves before we teach them that it's okay to do a little enhancement here and there. They don't know the love self part. They don't They see us as boss chicks. They see us as, uh, workhorses. They see us as people that can, uh, always do stuff. You can always count on the Black woman to come through. It's the imaging. It's the imaging. So we have to do better. Each and every one of us have to do better. I just— today, after the conversations I had, I'm like, I'm so sick of this. Every time you mention femininity, when you hear coming out of a man's mouth, it's how it benefits him. Because even men don't understand the power of femininity unless they're not included. It's what it is. So learn the power of your femininity minus a man, minus your children. Look within to see who you are as a woman. Okay, yes, there is levels to this, but at least understand that it doesn't matter if you're married, it doesn't matter if you're single, it doesn't matter if, uh, you have children, if you're a mom, or if you're not a mom. None of that matters. Femininity is not reserved for your relationship status, period. It doesn't. I don't have a problem with men speaking on femininity. As long as they not— They don't just include it for themselves every time you hear a conversation from a man on these old whack podcasts. It's about how femininity benefits them well. You know men like feminine women when we're meant to be together? Like my woman needs to be this way. It's all of benefit to him because he understands that fact that even saying I like a feminine woman because X Y Z... He looks at "benefit" for me! For me! Self-centered, i-i-i-i-i-i-i-I! So when you start talking about femininity and women using it for themselves, there's an uproar. Okay, femininity comes with boundaries. If you don't have no boundaries, are you really operating in grounded femininity? There's so many different facets to this thing that do not include a man. Just so happens, people say, well, Miss April, you, you had a dating academy. Yes, but anybody in my dating academy will tell you We seldomly talked about men in there. I just used the man as the bait because I understood that women typically don't become better for themselves without the incentive of a man. How can I say this? Because I've been doing this work over 15 years and that has been consistent. That's been the pattern, okay? I just use the man as bait to get you in there so I can work on you and your femininity and work on you with your mind transformation, honey. That's— that was just the man is the bait because that's what women want, which is fine. I have no problem with that. Just make sure that it's not the motivating factor, because when you, when you make the man the motivating factor— yes, Destin, it was marketing, baby. It was marketing. I got to give you the— I gotta give you the sugar and the medicine, baby. But when you make the man your focal point of your femininity, what you're saying is the moment something happens with him, it becomes, I got to feel, um, extremely safe, you know, um, you know, for my family. He didn't bring my femininity out. Here's the thing, every woman with the man has femininity. Guess what? There's levels to how much a woman allows her femininity to show with a man. It doesn't mean it's not there. I was having a conversation with a man yesterday and my femininity didn't feel safe, so I got extremely guarded. That wall came up. Does my femininity still exist? Yes, but your energy doesn't make me feel safe, so I'm not going to blame you for me letting go of my femininity. I'm just going to walk away from you. That's what that is. So I was like, oh, oh, uh-uh, I don't, I don't do this. And the moment you're— that, that energy comes, it's like, oh, I feel it. I don't feel safe with you. And I let him know my femininity and my vulnerability does not feel safe with you, so I'm going to bow out. So you never can blame a man for your femininity, um, not feeling safe, because you can remove yourself. The moment that conversation started and he started all of that, I was like, oh, child, I'm not going to lose my femininity because of you, because you didn't give it to me. All I can do is go by that feminine and that wisdom within that— my— and that feminine GPS within and say deuces. Elaborate, how does femininity feel threatened? Join my All Things Feminine Social Club, the link is in the bio. I have all of these conversations over there. So yeah, I was very clear and he said, what do you mean? I said, my femininity does not feel safe with you. I said, because the way you talking to me, this is not it. And the fact that I have to raise my voice— I don't raise my voice with men. I don't— my friend circle, I don't have these type of conversations with men. I am safe and have safety when I am around my male friends. So you don't give me that. So I'm not going to say, you know what, you didn't make me feel feminine. I'm going to— I mean, safe. I'm going to say I mean, you made me lose my femininity. I'm going to say, once my femininity felt unsafe with you, I bowed out gratefully, gracefully. It's not that I have to stay. Well, in order for him— in order for me to be real feminine, men got to create a space. No, I create the space. And if your space isn't safe, I leave your space and go to another space. But what you're not gonna do is control my femininity. So that's what we're seeing. So the moment you You place your femininity on how it flows with a man, you've given, uh, you've said, you're saying femininity is about men, and it's not. It's not. I'm not gonna lose what I am because of you. I'm just gonna leave your presence. That's it. And be in a safer space. That's it. So we have to stop using that. Men don't create safe spaces. Then go, go around and, I mean, get somewhere else to where you find a safe space where if you're dealing with men. But don't put the blame on men when your femininity is for you first. And that's boundaries. Oh yes, my boundaries are real. My boundaries are real high. And this is what everybody, including my children, I have boundaries. I will bow out gracefully. The moment that I raise my voice and I have to write, well, hold on, hey, why are you raising your voice? And I had to ask myself in the conversation yesterday, I said, ah, I didn't feel safe and I felt like I was backed in the corner and I was getting ready to claw my way out. Well, you know what? Don't claw your way out. You just don't deal with this. This is not what you do, period. So I cannot place the blame on, well, this person didn't make me feel— he didn't create a safe space. No, it's up to that individual, those individuals, to show me what they are. It's up to me to decide how I'm going to move forward. Okay, no, we don't do that. We don't do that. So the moment you feel yourself having to go there, uh-uh. Especially when you live a peaceful life like I do. Uh-uh. Nope, we gonna bow out. You state— yes, you state your boundaries and your standards. If they people cannot Your walk away game should be so strong that you don't even remember walking away. Oh, you don't even remember. So Auntie just wanted to come and talk to you today about this fake watered-down femininity, darling, because You know, being someone that got this conversation started well over a decade ago and to see where it's gone, it's very disheartening. It's very disheartening. Now, of course, we can always have the conversation with femininity and being, um, associated with the man. We can have talk about femininity and how it plays in the lives of your children. We can have talk about femininity in the workplace. Because I even have a course called The Feminine CEO. We could talk about, you know, different aspects of femininity, but overall, even if we don't add those different aspects, it still belongs to you, period. There's a time and place for it all, but the fact that so many only include it with a man is disheartening. It's disheartening. She said, that's why you have emerged. Have I emerged? It's to save it. Well, you know, every time I try to quit, I'm like, God, I'm sick of these. I can't. And I've been trying to hide from up under a rock, but I just can't. It just won't. I know my purpose on this planet, even when I want to quit on y'all every other day. I'm like, because I don't understand. And it's the imagery that has to change. Because think about it, and I'm gonna leave you with this because I gotta go. The imaging of the Lena Horns, the Diana Rosses, the Diane Carrolls, um the Shirley Horns, the Hattie Lamars, those type of women, the mantle was not picked up. The mantle wasn't picked up. Somewhere we lost our way, and the oversexualized woman, the loud woman, the woman step forward. Yes, the Felicia Rashads, the Debbie Allens. If you noticed, even in music, the mantles were not picked up from those that came before us that showed us what it meant to be a woman. We got something else. We got something else. So that tells you exactly where we are. The imagery doesn't even look like it used to back in the day, but yet the standard that women have about how men should treat them stayed the same. But how they present themselves changed. The vulgarness in the music— women used to be a little bit more discreet, the mystery of it all. Okay, no more. I heard a song the other day and I'm like, what in the hell did I just hear? Talking about her booty hole brown or something like that. And I said, the The fact that this is going on, and then there was another girl, what's her name, the one that gave her guy a blowjob on camera to get to where she threw up. But there is a demographic for that. The problem is it's louder than the other demographic. We don't see that, that other demographic of woman. We don't get to see her. That's the problem. They can do what they want to do. That's problem, but that's not the problem. The problem is younger women don't have another option, okay? They don't have another option of imagery. This is what it is. Everybody's twerking. Everybody. I don't care if she's 15 to— you see the 50-year-olds. Every time I turn on, you know, the internet, it's somebody's behind in my face. Yes, that song about the Count and the Margaritas, the fact that that's even a thing. But women will scream, men don't, men don't respect us. Well, look at you. When you understand the nature, traits, and characteristics of what a man actually is, you will— and that— and if that's what you want, now if that's what you want, there's just certain things, it's just what it is. It's just what it is. Bottom line, there's going to always— the patriarchal system is going to always be in play. But when you understand how to use it for your benefit, you got some power then. But most don't know how to even use the double standard to their advantage. You can't. You can't be one to treat— be treated like a lady, but you don't show that. How? The double standard is not fair. It's not. I never said it was, but I sure as heck know how to use it to my advantage. But you can't know how to use it to your advantage until you embrace embraced your femininity, your spirituality, your sensuality, and your wisdom. God even calls wisdom her for a reason, and wisdom is at an all-time low when it comes to women. It's time to get back to wisdom. It's time to get back to wisdom. Women don't push back on these on these nasty songs. And I remember when I really— when I first realized what was going on, it was, um, and I'm, you know, I'm from the Bay, and, um, so it was a song, "It ain't no fun if the homies can't have none," right? And I remember being at the club and I was dancing, and that was the first time I actually heard the words to the song. And then I stopped and I was like, oh my God, All of us women, we're getting down and we're dancing to this music that's degrading us. It's not true, that's just the media. Then it's true because the media controls everything. If you have no power to control the media, regardless if it's a lie or if it's the truth, it's still going to be true, period. So that means in your neighborhoods, on your jobs, in the community, you have to do your part to combat the imaging that the media is telling. You can't leave it up to the media to raise these babies. I just took on a, um, Uh, I'm so excited about it that you— I'll be, I'll be teaching a lot of the young ladies, um, between, um, like high school and maybe early 30s. I'm so excited I got asked to teach them, you know, some, some womanly things. Okay, so yeah, these young girls, they're seeing it all. They're seeing their— what men— what they think men are attracted to, and they're trying to become it. They're trying all kind of nasty sexual stuff because that's the music suggested. So it's up to us to combat the media. So regardless of what the media says, at home, in our community, I know I can't go down Miss April Street looking like that because Miss April gonna pull me to the side. Oh no, I know I can't just walk into the mall looking like that because, uh, Miss Jackie gonna say something, or Mr. Tom gonna be like, you're such a beautiful young lady, you know, you maybe you should— have you ever think about just do, you know, putting some clothes on a little bit, or whatever, however you say it. The gag with all these female rappers, even back in the day, these songs were written by men. Of course, that's what I'm saying, it's the patriarchal system, and women have become so unwise and helpless that they don't know how to use their system against them. Yes, they gonna tell you today to mind your business, but guess what? I don't. And it's how you do what you do. I run up on little girls all the time. They be like, girl, you so pretty. Thank you, ma'am. But you know what? Listen, come here, come here, y'all. Let me say something. Let me tell y'all something. Y'all like boys? Yeah. No, no, you. I can tell you like boys. Let me tell you something about something. What you think a boy is? What you think? Come over here. And next thing I know, I might have 13 of them in the middle of the mall having a conversation. It's all about how the approach is. Come here, let me tell you about these boys. Now this is what you're supposed to do, right? Do it this way and I promise you, okay? So it's all about how you do what you do. You know, they'll listen. Even the young boys, they listen. They listen to me all the time. Miss April? I remember they would be in my neighborhood playing football and their pants will be down. I remember driving through my neighborhood, it had to be about 15-20 of them. I'm like— I stopped in the middle of that football game. Hey hey hey hey hey! Hey hey hey hey hey! I know y'all not in my neighborhood with your pa— Why do I see your drawers? What's your name? Oh, my name is Keith. Keith, why I see your drawers? Ma'am? Do your mama know your drawers is out? You, come here. What's your name? Derek. Derek, why is your drawers out? When I come through here again, Miss April don't want to see your drawers, all right? If you gonna play on my street in front of my house, I don't want to see your drawers, all right? All right. I remember maybe a week or so later, I came back through the neighborhood and I was driving to my driveway. Keith running, Miss April, Miss April! I said, yes, baby. He said, I got my pants up. I said, good. You know, I might have a couple little pieces of candy. I'll come by the house, get a little candy, but I don't need to see that when I look out my door, okay? And from that point on, even if they've had their pants down, they made sure in front of my yard they didn't do that. We don't do that over here. Miss April not going— hey girl, go put your— go put on a bra, huh? Go put on a bra. Do you need a bra? What size bra you wear? Come here. Where your mama at? She at work. I need you to put on a bra. Well, I don't have nothing clean. Look, what size you wear? Let me see what I got in my house, because you're not gonna be out here with these boys with no bra on. This is not what we doing. You gotta own a bra and a tank top, girl. Come, come on in the house and tell your mama she can come talk to me because I gave you a bra, because this is what we're not gonna do, period. Out here just everything. You, you out here size F playing with some You got booty shorts on and no bra. Get in the house and get a bra. And I got a t-shirt for you too. But I can— in the house. True enough, people, kids will push back. But at the same time, a lot of them want to know that you care. And like I told you guys, my nephew been staying with me and he got in trouble. Because he went out and got on the roof while I was gone. And y'all know, I told y'all, my nephew, he done got kicked out of every school in the county. The police know him by first name and everything. He don't act like that over there. Why? I don't allow it. When I was leaving this morning, he said, I apologize, Auntie, for, for getting on the roof when you told me not to go on the roof. Yes, ma'am, I won't do it no more. Yeah, because you ain't coming over here. So regardless, my point is, regardless of what the media is saying, it's how you do what you do. Get over here and pull your pants up. I don't want to see your drawers, and you need to put a bra on. Don't come out here with no bra on like that, and stop taking your braids out in front of my house. That's— we don't do that. A girl is always supposed to be presentable. You don't be out here letting these boys see you with your head all out. Don't even let yourself see yourself like that. One of the things that I hate, the trend that I hate on social media is women say, what he thought he was marrying versus what he got. So the made-up you is the version that he thought he got and then now you look homeless and that's what he got? That's the dumbest trend I've seen. Women no longer take pride in being beautiful and discreet with their— how they achieve their beauty. It's just, child, listen, help me take these braids out, help me take these— this weave out. It's like there is no mystery to it all, but they want to talk about men— men love mystery. There is no mystery. They shouldn't know all of the things that— all of our beauty secrets. They shouldn't know all of that, but the internet hasn't given people the power just to do whatever, and then they— oh, well, men don't respect— look, for what? Stop showing all of the secrets. No mystery. There is no mystery with about women no more. Nothing. There's nothing to make you wonder. I wonder what— I wonder, I wonder what she looks like naked because I You know, there's none of that because you get to see it. You know, from what I hear, uh, strip clubs are at an all-time low because you can see the same thing on the internet. Come on. I hate that trend. What he got, what he thought he was getting versus what he got. Why you gotta look— why you gotta look homeless? Well, he gonna see me at my worst and blah blah blah blah. Women don't take pride in that, considering, understanding men are visual. But I don't want him to look at no pretty woman, but this is what you gonna get. Hi from Romania. Hey Romania. Yeah, there's no, no mystery, no mystique, there's no allure. They ain't know nothing. And that's one of the powers that God gave us as women. But it's like, what he got— what he thought he was getting versus what he got— and you sitting over there looking like you belong on the street. Got to do better. Gotta do better. Got to do better. You don't create desire, you know, create lust but not desire. Okay, so I just wanted to share that with you today, darling. You know, I get a little passionate about the subject because the way it's gone, it's a trend. Feminine women don't have conversations about, yeah, I live soft life and I got time for these men. No, we don't live that. We don't have those conversations because one, the moment that we see a man is not in alignment with us, we out of there. We don't have to have a conversation about it. We don't have to make an announcement. It's like people that say, I'm about to stop following you. Nobody asked you to make an announcement. Just go exit stage left. I love y'all back. Thank y'all. So, and thank you all for the badges. What does he bring to the table? That subject of what people bring to the table drives me nuts. Yeah, that's the— that's stupid because you don't have to ask what a person what do you bring to the table when you're vetting them? To me, only men that don't understand the true value of a woman ask those retarded questions. I've never in my entire 48 years have been asked by a man, what do I bring to the table? I've never been asked. Well, once, one time, and I never seen him again. I've never been asked by a man— well, he didn't ask me, he slid the bill over to me, but— and I never see him again. But I've never been asked by a man to pay a bill, go half on a check, go 50/50, or whatever. Never. Even in high school, my first little boyfriend I remember getting my first pair of nugget earrings and my first, uh, 375 perfume. My high school— y'all know my high school sweetheart. I— my high school sweetheart, he's a pretty, pretty popular relationship guru. I said we're gonna have to do a live together to tell the people we used to date. You— we were high school sweethearts, darling. But even back then, I wasn't paying for nothing. Because my value didn't come from proving that I'm a generous woman through my wallet. My generosity for men, that was proven to men that understood the feminine woman, was how much of that sensual, nurturing, soft and gentle woman I could be. That was That was how they gauged if I'm generous, not by if I could pay some bills, because they didn't need that, because the femininity is what they crave. They already had some money, they already had the other things. But does she have— is she that feminine place that men crave? I don't need her for no money, and I wasn't offering none because they didn't ask me for it. Didn't mean I didn't do nice things, but at the end of the day, my value didn't come by what do she bring to the table from a monetary standpoint. I've never dealt with a man that looked at me and said, I want to know what she brings to the table, and hey, she gonna pay half the bills. Not one time in my life, and not in my 48 years. And to take it even further, and I think I said this on a different Future Wifey podcast, even if I did try to pay for something, the men that I've dealt with, they will be offended because their value assessment of me did not come from my wallet generosity, it came from my heart generosity. It came from my womanhood generosity. It came from my vulnerability generosity. It, it, it came from me creating this feminine container for them to rest in. That's where my value came from. Not what she bring to the table. Lames. Lames. And y'all be letting them run y'all. But anywho, I gotta go. Yeah, I've been told my money is no good with them. Yes, yes, yes. But when you— when you're a woman that does not lead with your accomplishments and what you have and all of those things, it's easy to meet men that don't want you Somebody said dusties. No, they're not dusties. See, here's the thing with the dusty conversation, which is lame. Here's the thing: the only way you know about dusties is because your energy attracted them and you entertained them. So the dusty conversation is more of a reflection on the woman who's having the dusty conversations than it is the man. He's being what he is. So if you don't have a standard and you deal with that, then you are dealing with somebody who's being what they are. So the Dusty conversation is lame too because it's still an indictment on the woman who deals with them. I'm just saying, mm-mm. You will never hear me having conversations about what's considered a dusty because I don't deal with them. Like, they're not even in, in my orbit. Like, I had to ask what that was. Almost every— don't act like you ain't dealt with a dusty. No, I have not. That if you're having conversations about these low-grade men, it's a reflection on you. That's the conversation y'all ready to have. So many conversations, so many conversations about dusties, dusties, dusties, dusties, and pick-me chicks, pick-me chicks. Only people complain about pick-me chicks is women. Men don't complain about them. It's other women that complain about women that's actually getting picked. Come on, people. You don't hear men talking about pick-me's. You hear women telling other women that, but the women that they talk about getting picked— yes, yes, y'all remember my shelter story. Even at the shelter, I ain't have to deal with that. So ladies, get back to our rightful places. Back to our rightful places. Raise the bar, darling. Raise the bar. Raise the bar. The fact that I hear grown women talking about pixies and dusties and, uh, pignishas and all that, that is the lamest ish I've ever heard, because you shouldn't be in that. You shouldn't be that low. You shouldn't be that low, ladies. There's levels to this. If you that low, I'm telling you, I'm giving you an invitation, my love, today to rise up on out of that. Rise up out of that. You know, it's time to rise on up out of that if you are 35 and over using that type of language. I expect it when I go into the high schools, but when I hear a 45-year-old woman on my, on my, uh, social media say, oh, you such a pick me, and I look at her picture and she looked like she's about 57, not today's 57, but back in the day 57, I said, girl, the fact that you're even using this his language. Come on, ladies, time to raise the standard back up. We are letting down our ancestors, the ladies that came before us that paved the way. We are letting them down. We take what they have with our newfound liberation and we combine them. We don't separate them. We take the traits and the teachings and the wisdom that they had and we combined it with everything that we have now. We don't— you don't separate the two, and that's what's happened. It's been separated. We don't separate the two. We need both. We need both. So like I said, the mantles of the Felicia Rashads, the Debbie Allens, the Diane Carrolls, the, um, Shirley Rouse, the Hedy Lamarrs, the— even the imageries of the, the Marilyn Monroes and all of— it was not picked up. Ratchet was picked up, but then it was like, these men, these men, these men. But when you don't understand the nature of what a man is, you don't have— not studied his psychology, you don't understand why he can't respect respect that, even though he will put his penis in that. But these men don't want this. Look at the pictures that they like on social media, because you don't understand, men are visual creatures. Liking a thing and wifing a thing is two different things, okay? So Auntie just came on to say it's time to do better. And this is all said in love, all said in love. Femininity has nothing to do with a man, but there is a sector of it that does. A lot of times the byproduct of— especially for those that are single that want to be in a relationship or want a husband— well, one of the byproducts just is that You will meet an amazing man. Just like one of the byproducts is if you tap into your femininity, you won't be broke no more. Feminine women are never broke. Just like you can tap into your femininity and you can heal your body. I'm going through that right now and I'm loving the results that I am getting. When you tap into your femininity, you will attract everything you need to you. Not just a man. Although we love y'all when we understand what you are and how you move. Bye y'all.