You don't have to look like what you've been through

Hey family, I hope all is well with you today. Listen, I wanted to stop in really quick to encourage you. Oh, excuse me, bless me, bless me, I had to sneeze. But I wanted to encourage you right quick. I was just sitting here, I'm getting ready to go to see my speech pathologist. Some of you guys have been like, Auntie, where have you been? We haven't heard a lot from you, you haven't been doing your show. And I had to do what is the doctor's orders, and I couldn't talk as much. And as you see, I'm trying to keep it low, keep it low, but I get excited. So I'm one of those people that I talk with my hands and my voice goes up and all those wonderful things. So I'm learning how to control my excitement to make sure that I don't lose my voice. But I want to encourage you right quick. I just got a text message and that, for those of you that don't know, I am currently in the process of filming a new television show. So they asked me for some pictures, right, of me, and I showed— when I was in New York last week, I showed them a couple pictures, some before and after pictures. They were like, whoa, we need those for the show. So I sent over a picture yesterday. I sent over two pictures, and I get another text message a minute ago that says, hey April, can you send us over a picture when you was struggling as a single mom and you were trying to make it happen and all that stuff? And I laughed, I chuckled, and I said, well, actually, the picture that I sent you is when I was actually homeless. I didn't have anywhere to stay, uh, at the time. And so there he was like, well, the gag is you still look gorgeous in the picture. And I said, you know what, you don't have to look like what you've been through. Hello, somebody. And he laughed. And I said, but to be honest with you, today's homeless don't look like they actually live on the street. Now, we do have, um, a population of people that are homeless that actually live on the street, and you could tell that they live on the street. But now you have working-class homeless people is what you have. And so you could have someone that was like myself. When I was at the shelter, they would say, you don't look like a shelter girl. And I said, baby, I'm just passing through. I'm just passing through. So it inspired me. I texted him back. I said, you just gave me something to encourage the people with, uh, today. You don't have to look like what you've been through. You don't have to look like it. As well as you don't have to let anybody, um, identify you by what you've been through. Hello, somebody! Y'all know I don't even do the church stuff to slap your but I'm gonna say slap your neighbor right now, okay? Don't let anybody define what you should look like, what you should be like, based upon where you've come from. Because apparently in their mind— I said I was homeless, you know, started my, my business with 3, uh, with 3 kids and $50 from a welfare check— there's a certain look that goes into a person's mind that they automatically think homeless, 3 kids, they're thinking raggedy, living on the street, you know, not, not the right clothes, not bathing, all those type of things, right? But for me, I was still cute when I was in the shelter because I had one suit, y'all. I had one suit I bought from Newport News, that one suit, and that was my interview suit. And I wore it and I wore it and I wore it until I found a job. So even though I may not have had all of the basic necessities of life that I desired at the time, I had that one suit, honey, and I wore the crap out of that one suit. So never let anybody identify you by what you've gone through. You don't let anybody, um, create your narrative. Never let them do that, because people will hold you to your past. They will hold you to their definition of what you should be and where you should be based upon where you've come from. We don't do that, okay? We don't do that. So you don't have to look like where you come from. You don't have to look like where you are right now. Put on some lip gloss, throw on some mascara, honey, uh, Do what you got to do. Comb your hair, do the best that you can. If you can't afford to go to the shop and pay the $80, you better find you a, um, uh, what do you call, cosmetology school, and go get your hair done for $10, $15. Figure it out, because you feel— when you look better, you feel better. It makes you want to go out and be productive and, uh, go out and, and, and make you feel like you somebody, okay? So never let anybody try to tell you or put on you, uh, their identification of what you should be. Because like I said, when I was homeless, please understand, Mason was still cute. I may not have everything I needed. I might have been buying my makeup from the dollar store, and— but I did the best that I could, uh, with what I had. But I knew appearance mattered. If I'm trying to get out of poverty, if I'm trying to get out of the shelter, I can't say I want to be successful, but I don't do what I need to do to look successful. It starts with what you look— you got to see it and believe it before you can be it. Hello, hello. Yes, Miss, uh, Golson, I was still cute, baby, still cute. So I, I had people that wanted to help me because I didn't look the part. They— I looked like I wanted out, I looked like I wanted success. And I don't know if I told you guys the story And I'll briefly tell it to you, cause I got to get out here and get to my doctor about how, when I finally got out, I went from the shelter to the transitional house across the street. And, uh, I was trying to find a job. I was trying to find me a place and I didn't have the money, but I finally found my $10 an hour job in San Francisco, California. And I was going, I was so proud of myself, found my job. Well, I needed a place to stay. And so I saw in the newspaper that they had this apartment available, and it was $475 a month, and it was in the hood. It was— it wasn't the hood when I got there. I think the crack and all of that— for those of you that grew up in Richmond, California, you know, down there by First Street, by around the corner from the Richmond Rescue Mission, y'all know what I'm talking about. And a bunch of people went to go see what is a 2-bedroom, up and downstairs, really cute apartment, $475 a month. I didn't have the money to move in, but I went into— I actually, I took the bus and went in to the rental office, and they said, I'm sorry, ma'am, but you have to go directly to the location. So they wouldn't— I couldn't ride with nobody. So I had $20, and I took that $20 I had and took a taxi over to, um, the apartment. That was all I had. And I went over there, it was about 8 other people looking at the apartment. But I came in, I was respectful, I looked the part, um, I looked like I, I was somebody, you know. I looked as though I belonged, even though they didn't know I was homeless at the time. Well, I went to see the apartment. It was like 8 other couples looking at it. I'm like, God, I don't even know how this is gonna work for me. But what I did was I wrote a letter and I said, look, this is who I am. I got this job, I make $10 an hour, I can afford to live here. Currently I don't have all of the money to move in because I live in a— currently living in a transitional home, but I do have assistance to help me pay the deposit and move in. All of that is together. I can afford to pay it. And I, you know, and I told him I would appreciate their consideration. And, you know, for me and my children, all of those people that came that had the money, they didn't get the apartment. I did. And I believe a lot of it had to do with the fact that I looked the part. I wasn't looking like what I've been through. Hey, Brenda, how you doing, girl? Oh, I'm all loud and my neighbor's looking at me. Hey, y'all, I'm all loud. See, I told you I get a little loud sometimes. But I believe I got the apartment because of my ability to not look like what I was going through, and also to step out on faith and say, you know what, I'm not going to let my circumstances have me, I'm going to have my circumstances. And from that point on, I, I was able to get that apartment. I took care of that apartment. I acted like it was the best in the best neighborhood. You couldn't tell me I wasn't living in Beverly Hills, and I was on 2nd and 3rd Street in the hood of Richmond, California. And I did what I needed to do because I was determined. So a lot of times, in order for you to, to get out of where you are, how about just looking the part? If you want to be a successful businessman, start dressing like a successful businessman. My 18-year-old, ever since he was like 7, he would want me to take him to the mall so we could go look at suits. He always wanted suits. And he's my most expensive, my most extravagant, my probably my best dressed child. That's just who he is, but he started it at a young age. Hey, John from the Bay Area. So I wanted to encourage you today to don't let anybody put what they believe that you should be. Don't let anybody put their narrative on you. Don't let anybody hold you to your past. If they choose to do that, you keep it moving. But it was just very interesting when he said, "Well, you know, the network, they're saying that you still look gorgeous in your picture." And I'm like, "Yeah, but I was homeless at the time." So I said, actually, this is pretty good. It'll be a pretty good thing to show the current state of a lot of our homeless. They look like you and I, but they might be living in their cars. They might be going to the YMCA to take showers. They might be, you know, y'all might have to do like I did. I ended up going— I'm gonna tell y'all, I tell y'all my business. Listen, I remember I was sleeping in my car and I didn't have any money to eat. I had enough gas money but not enough money to eat. Honey, I walked up in one of the hotels like I was, um, stay in there and wouldn't have breakfast. Wouldn't have breakfast. I'm telling you, my life ain't been perfect. I am far from perfect, but I understand who I am and my abilities. And once I began to believe in myself and my God-given abilities, that's when my life started to change. Hey, Tanisha, girl, how you doing? Hey, I didn't get to see you when I was in the Bay. Um, you have to believe in you first before anybody else will. So even though what it looked like, it was bad, you know, I had my kids. At one point, I didn't know where we were going. We was just in my truck. I didn't know. And God opened up a door for us, um, you know, living at the shelter. I've had to do that. So please don't get it twisted. Those of us that you see and you're like, oh, you know, I get a lot of you that say you inspire me or, um, I— you admire me. I appreciate that and I'm humbled by that because of where I came from. And I fought. It's been a journey. I had to fight my way out. And sometimes you're gonna have to fight your, your way out. Even in the Bible, when God gave David the land, David still had to go subdue the land. It was people living on it. He still had to go get it. Did God say it was his? Absolutely, he gave it to him. But he didn't say you would not have to clear out some stuff. He didn't say that you wouldn't have to go subdue it and make some moves and move some things and rearrange some things out the way. So a lot of times when it doesn't look like, uh, when it looks like work, it's like, how could God give me this but it looks like work? Why? Well, what is this? Sometimes even though it looks like work, it doesn't mean that it's not God-ordained. A good friend of mine told me, he said, April, you know, we're talking about dating and mates, and he said, well, you know, if God gave you the perfect mate, you met the perfect person, you would not have a reason to go pray no more because everything would be in your relationship would be right. He said, so it's gonna be whoever you end up with, they gonna have something that's gonna get on your nerves, but it's gonna keep you on your knees. So it won't be perfect. So things in your life, even though they might look a little hard, it doesn't mean it's not ordained by God. If you're continuing to progress and things are looking good, and but yet you still ain't all the way out of it, it doesn't mean that you're not in the right place. It might be a lesson that God is trying to teach you. I know for me, I think my lesson in life, uh, for me going through all the things that I went— gone through is to increase my character, integrity, and make sure that I stay humble. Because I get a lot of amazing opportunities from television to radio, Cable, whatever, you know, I get a lot of opportunities. But Bible says be anxious for nothing. And because of my ability to always do my best to have my character intact, I will walk away from major opportunities. I will walk away from major checks. So I believe part of me going through such a hard time and becoming the woman that I am today, it has a lot to do with where I'm going to make— to groom me for what's to come. So I have no problem walking away from nothing. People can't sell me on fame. They can't sell me on fortune. They can't sell me on any of that. Because my hardships has placed me in a position to where I'm okay with who April is, and I'm humble enough to say, you know what, at any given moment anything can be taken away from me, so I don't take it for granted. So you can't sell me on fame and fortune. I'm happy with my children. I'm happy that my kids love me. My son called me today, he's on his way. He's stationed in San Diego. He called me today, Mom, I'm on my way, my Marine. My daughter's doing good. My son's getting ready to try out, you know, for, uh, the the big soccer team that he wants to be a part of, the Atlanta soccer team that they have coming here next year. So I'm happy with that. Everything else is an added bonus, okay? But that did not happen by chance. That happened through my struggle. Now, if I didn't— hadn't struggled for anything— look, he just texted me now. Mom just boarded the plane. I'll text him back in a second. Um, if I had not gone through that, I would be caught up in fame, fortune, trying to be seen, trying to be that shit. I've never been her. Everything that you see, got you guys see of me, I never went searching for it. It all happened for me. And I think when you understand who you are first, that's when opportunities will start to come your way. So I wanted to share that with you guys. I love you, and just remember, never let anybody place their narrative on you. You don't have to look like what you've gone through, okay? Love y'all, bye!