You need to be touched

Well, hello there, Facebook! I hope I found you doing well. And for my YouTube followers, this is April Mason, your number one femininity educator and dating coach for the successful woman. And fellas, of course, I always appreciate you following and supporting and sharing my videos as well too. We love you, love you, love you on this here side. You all know, for those of you that have been with me for a while, you know this is a non-biased page. This is a non- male bashing. You know I'm fair, I get on the women just as much as I get on the men. So let's get right into it. Oh, I see you guys are coming in. Y'all saw that title, you need to be touched, honey. You need to be touched just a little bit. How y'all doing? It's a beautiful Sunday, uh, afternoon. It's afternoon now here in Atlanta, Georgia. I think that today's high is almost 80, if I'm not mistaken. So y'all already know your girl had to get up get myself together because we're heading out in these Atlanta streets. Actually, I'm gonna head over to— I have to check on my daughter because I still have to get my mother of the bride dress. Although my daughter got married last year, they're actually having the wedding in July, so I have to find a pretty gray dress, um, for the wedding that's in July. So I have to go do that today, and it's beautiful weather, darling. But hey y'all, I see you coming on in here. How y'all doing? Make sure you share this one, make sure you share this one because I know it's going to bless you. Uh, what I'm gonna say— y'all normally think you know what I'm gonna say, but I normally don't say what you think I'm gonna say because I ain't basic in my thinking. But before we go any further, if you did not see the post on my last video about the sponsorship, we just got the word, uh, yesterday that if you want to attend The How to Date Like a High Value Woman, my event, April 18th through the 20th, uh, a member of the 100 Black Men organization paid for sponsorship for 5 women off the general admission price. So instead of it being $497 for the 2 and a half days, it's only $248.50 plus tax for those days. So make sure, um, you inbox me. I opened up my Messenger, um, here on this page so So you can inbox me because it's a private link. You can't find, um, the link on the registration page. So if you would like to be one of the 5, and I'll send you the link— the link is scheduled to stop working once it hit 5, okay? Because that's what they paid for. So I was definitely excited and, and happy that the men folks said, you know what, we believe in what you do and what you teach, and we think more— where as many women as we can sponsor um, should be able to be a part. So they sponsor 5 women, 50% of your registration, and it makes it only $248.50 for Thursday night, all day Friday, all day Saturday. And for those of that got the VIP Elite, y'all hanging out with me on Saturday night. So make sure you inbox me on this page if this is what you want to be a part of. It's going down here in Atlanta. I don't know if you got to drive, if you, you know, got to take a Megabus, you know, whatever you got to do, you need to be in the building. But live streaming is also available if you cannot make it, and you can go to bootcamp.teachmehowtodate.com. Once again, that's bootcamp.teachmehowtodate.com, or just go to aprilmason.com and click on events, and you will be able to get, um, get it there. But remember, if you're trying to be one of the ladies that gets the sponsorship, you have to inbox me on this page. And I'm— I— that email went out maybe 3 hours ago, so I'm not sure if the link stopped working as of yet, but it went out to my email list as well as my Teach Me How to Date VIP Academy members there and the Asset Elevation members, um, there. You can, you, um, you can sign up for live streams by just visiting aprilmason.com and clicking on events. I will say, um, if you're coming to the live event, registration ends on the 15th of this month because we got to make sure your workbooks and everything are printed and all that good stuff. So don't hesitate, don't wait, make a decision. Asset Women, we don't procrastinate, we make decisions, honey. So anywho, let me get right into what I want to talk to you about today. The title of this video is You Need to Be Touched, Honey, and this is what I mean. On my Instagram— hope you follow me on Instagram, same name, Miss MS April Mason— I posted a post that said that cuddling helps with depression, anxiety, and it boosts the immune system. And what I find is we have become a society that has learned how to disconnect from human connection. And little story, before I became into the woman that you see today, I was notorious for being busy, busy, busy, busy. I got things to do, busy, busy, busy, busy. And I also was an extreme emotional eater. I also used to buy things and be an impulsive shopper. But what that does, what that did was it masked the root issue, it masked the root cause. A lot of times when people are overweight, it's normally an emotional issue. It's something that's missing. A lot of times when people say super busy, it's because they're not trying to allow themselves to feel, okay? They're not allowing themselves to feel, so they stay busy. They overeat, they overshop, overspend. Um, I've been guilty, um, actually of all of those things. Hold on, somebody, I forgot to turn my phone on do not disturb. I've been guilty of all of those things. And so when I really started doing the work, I realized what the issue was. The issue was not the food, being busy, or spending money. The issue was the lack of human connection. It was the lack of and being able to intermingle. Now there's one thing, you know, let me, let me say this right quick. There's one thing to be in connection with a female, your friends, you know, hanging out with your boys, you know, whatever, you know, that kind of thing, whatever you're doing with your book club, all that. That's one thing. But from a romantic standpoint, it's totally different. And what we've done is we read these books that— and these, we see these magazines when you go to the grocery store You see magazines that say, you know, 5 ways to get your life, and none of them include the opposite sex, right? I remember seeing a magazine, and it was— I saw it happen twice. I saw it with Kandi Burruss, and then I saw it with Beyoncé. Now, both of them are married women, but the magazine cover said Kandi Burruss talks about how to be a successful businesswoman a great mom and a role model. Beyoncé, how she, how she juggles motherhood, her career, and being a superstar, something like that, right? But they left out the fact that these women are husband— I mean, have husbands as well too. Now what I saw with the one, um, even— and she may have said it, but they may have edited it out— on a season of Housewives of Atlanta, you know, when Kandi was— she was feeling some sort of way like she wasn't being a good mom. And she said, she said, I want to be a good mom, I want to run my businesses. But she didn't mention Todd. Now, she might have mentioned Todd, but the network might have edited it out. I've done reality television, they will edit what you say, okay? So she might have said that. So I'm not knocking that because I'm a big Candy fan. I love her as a businesswoman. But I do notice that they promote the woman but they disconnect her from the man, okay? So what's happening is we are continuing to do— to have these— do these— have these perpetual cycles, okay, of loneliness, of unnecessary depression, unnecessarily— unnecessary anxiety, um, overeating, being overweight, all of those things, right? But we won't deal with the root cause. And a lot of the root cause has to do with the lack of human connection, even if that human connection is that something that you did not get from a parent, something that you did not get from a friend, something you did not get from a romantic standpoint. But if you look at the, the root cause, it's normally something dealing with the lack of human connection and something that somebody said or did. Okay, so now what's happening is— and I talked about it, I don't know if I talked about it here But I know I talked about it on my Instagram. I did a video over there about how we have so disengaged so much that you can even go to the store, you can order your groceries and somebody deliver them to you. Not much from your human communication. You can go to McDonald's in certain areas and there is no one working, you know, you can order your food and then the little robot brings your food or drops your food. I even went to a cupcake shop to get a cupcake, um, and it was an ATM, a cupcake ATM. So I just picked what cupcake I wanted and it came out the dispenser. More and more, uh, the lack of human communication. Okay, so we isolate ourselves, right? But the same time that we're isolating ourselves, the very thing that you think you're doing to not be hurt again— I'm not, I'm staying busy because I don't want to open up no more, because I don't want to be hurt. I'm overeating because, you know what, I'd rather sit here and go out and eat this by myself because, you know, I, I will eat my loneliness away. Okay, I would rather do all of those things, not realizing the very thing that you're trying not to do is, which is get hurt, you're actually hurting because you wish you had somebody there. So it's like an oxymoron to a degree. I'm trying to cover myself from being hurt, but actually I'm hurting myself because I still desire something to come in so I don't hurt again. But I'm choosing. Y'all know I'm a chooser type of, uh, speaker. I believe that everything in life is about the choices that we make, okay? So if just like you can choose to stay busy, you can choose to, uh, overeat, You can choose to opt to be an impulsive shopper. You can choose something else too. There's something within you that's causing you not to choose something better. That's all really it is, honestly. So you have to identify what that thing actually is. So now you'll have people out here that will go out on a bunch of random dates with people that you know it's not going to work out with. Because you need that companionship. We, we need that, you know, that closeness. You go out and have sex with random people just to have somebody laying right here in the bed with you, you know, just to have that closeness. But you know it's not going anywhere, just to get, just to get that fix of intimacy or get that fix of companionship. But you know it ain't going nowhere. Instead of saying, you know what, let me stop trying to do opposite of what's natural We are trying to master not wanting or needing human communication. I had a friend tell me recently, uh, two different guys. One told me, um, that in order to keep him from, you know, really desiring companionship, or to feel fulfilled, try to feel his need of companionship, he buys himself things. Okay. And there's another one who told me when he feels the urge to have sex, you know, he handles himself because he don't want to deal with the drama and all that. BS. Yes, Rebecca, there's no fulfillment in that. So then you continue to repeat the cycle. You keep repeating the cycle, and a lot of you don't even realize that that's what you're doing because you've learned how to numb yourself to the very thing that you say that you want. Ain't that something? So out of my mouth I will say there are no good men, and these men out here don't want nothing. But at the same time I isolate myself so I don't put myself out there because I'm afraid. And I keep myself busy and, you know, I'm an emotional eater, I've gotten overweight. But then me getting overweight, then that makes me say, oh, all men want are these beautiful fit women, not realizing I am the one that's continuing to sit here and over and overeat. All of these women want is a man with money and they want these men, these gold diggers, you know, they want you to buy them stuff, not realize I am the one that's the compulsive shopper that's keeping me from not having no money because I'm trying to, to, um, to, uh, mask the fact that I am lonely. With all the technology that we have today, we are at the loneliest time I believe that we've ever been in. Because you can text, I need to see if your LOL, it means is you really laughing out loud. I need to feel you. I need to see your body language. I like— I, I need to see how you function. But what happens is, and I talked about this on my Instagram as well too, I think one of my first relationship videos was about this situation. I was texting a guy, you know, and we were— it was good, it was good. I mean, I'm like, oh yes, honey, he said that. But when we got in each other's presence, he wasn't the same man that was texting. So he could create all of this stuff and have all of this digital courage via text, but in person he wasn't that guy. But what I did was funnel what he was texting through what I wanted it to be and how I wanted it to sound. So I didn't hype myself up, honey, in my little imagination, and I'm sitting here like this with my pillow on it like, oh my God, but it wasn't that. So I'm like, okay, when we got together, I'm like, so I need the guy that was texting me to show up because I don't know who the hell this is. I, I don't know who that is, just saying. So the lack of human connection and manufactured communication, that's really what it is, manufactured communication. I'm like, we gotta stop this. And see, here's the thing, our children don't know how to communicate because all they do is text, all they do is, uh, Snapchat and WhatsApp. They're not communicating. There's so many t-shirts. I've been in Walmart, saw t-shirts. Um, I think it was last year, my grandbaby needed a green shirt to go to school in, so I went to Walmart to grab her a pink— uh, excuse me, a green shirt. And I saw other shirts in the kids section that says, don't call me, text me, DM me. What they're doing, and we're so blind, we don't understand. We are not realizing the powers that be, we're falling into exactly what they want because please understand, they gonna hit us and they gonna hit us hard. But guess what's gonna happen? Because we are not together, men and women are not coming together. You don't even know your neighbors. We don't trust. We have fear. So when all hell breaks loose, which we are constantly seeing it doing, who you gonna turn to and run to? I remember when we had a tornado here, uh, in Atlanta. It was, well, the aftermath of a hurricane, I think from Florida, somewhere something happened. And I remember sitting here with my electricity out. This was about maybe 2 years ago. And I got— felt really, really bad because I'm like, wow, all of the single women in my apartment complex with nobody to cover them. All these single women, you know, here not worrying— I mean, not wondering, you know, if they gonna have food, you know. Is somebody going to be out there, you know, fending for me? Is somebody going to be out here protecting me? But you got a bunch of single women out here doing it, but those same women are women that will say what's not available to them, but then they isolate themselves. Girl, I'm so busy with these kids. Girl, I'm so busy with this work. Girl, I'm so busy getting this degree. At the end of the day, those things don't make you you at the end of the day. So when you strip all that you're trying to do away from you, you're still human. No matter how you try to numb the pain, no matter how you try to numb the loneliness, no matter how you try to, um, sex the loneliness out, no matter how you try to random date the lonely— the loneliness and the need for human companionship out, it doesn't work because that's not how we are wired. God did not make us that way. And it was so funny, and I hate when I hear people say this foolishness. I mean, I had quite a few feminists come on my page with the BS, with the, well, you come in this world by yourself, you don't need nobody. BS. When you come in this world, you come in immediately connected to a mother and a father. Now, whether your father or mother wasn't there, or even a grandparent, whoever was there. So you come into this, you're pushed out of the birth canal. Even you got help coming up out of there, because anybody know anything about childbirth like I do, because I've had 3 there comes a time where you can't push, when she says— the doctor says, don't push. And then the doctor or the nurse has to pull the baby out, meaning they have to help you. So we don't come into this world by ourselves. We're connected to a mother and a father. When my grandchildren were born, especially this last one, Uh, baby Nova, they put her on the, uh, no, not baby Nova because she was a preemie. Baby Charlie, they put him on my daughter's chest to make, because they wanted to make sure he bonded. So all of this, we come into the world by ourselves, we don't need nobody BS. You come into the world with human connection. So how do you think you're going to get to get away from what, what you know? All you've known is human connection from the time you came out the womb. So now all of a sudden you've been hurt, You know, you made some bad decisions because we got to look at the decisions that we made. If the ladies— it's not always the fella's fault. Some of them jokers you chose from the wrong perspective, and the sign was there. Fellas, same thing for you. I was talking to some guys at the barbershop the other day, and one of them told me, he was like, Miss April, you know what, I know I shouldn't have chose her. But I said, she was pretty with a big booty, wasn't she? He was like, man, yes. I said, so you were— you tolerated BS and hoping that she would change. But you wanted her to be something that she was not, all because you wanted it in the package that you wanted it in. Not, not understanding if you become a better man, you can attract a better woman and she can look good too. But you wanted that one. They have no business about herself. She was very basic thinking, and you were trying to get your love and affection from that image. But this wasn't right, and this wasn't right, but you look past that anyway. I don't blame her. I blame you. She did exactly what she does where she is in her life right now. You get what you got. If you see somebody, a guy, the same thing. You see him not doing— you know, he fine, but all these other components are not in place. You are the one, sis, with the problem. That's you. You chose that. Now that you're at a place Even if you've been listening to me for any amount of time, you are now held accountable for putting in new information and getting new perspective because you can't make better decisions with the same information. So a lot of you that are out here, you're saying you don't want relationships, you're saying you don't want to be involved with anybody because all of this other stuff, that's because you have not gotten new information and you don't know who you are at your core. So you can say yes, I made some mistakes in the past because guess what? We don't come here with a relationship manual. A lot of us did not see healthy relationships, so we'll go to school to learn how to be a doctor, a nurse, a social worker, or whatnot. We'll go to school to learn that. We'll get a coach to help us, you know, with our— start our business, we— and, and help us lose weight. But when it comes to the area of inner healing and becoming a better person so we can shift our energy so that we can attract better people in our lives. Oh, we won't go get no coach for that because we say what God has for us is for us. But you know, I was listening to a song, um, what is it? What a Fool Believes. I think it was into the Doobie Brothers. And one of the lines in there says, um, oh my God, hold on, let me find it. Because I get tired of hearing the people that say, you know what, God have for me, for me. And I'm like, yeah, what God has for you is for you if you wise enough to pick it up. But God is not gonna waste his best on people that can't see a diamond because they're so used to cubic zirconias. That's not what we're gonna do. So that puts you in a place of being a passive and not taking action. Um, so, you know, it's like you have to make a decision. Let me see what the lyrics say. I think that's what I was listening to this morning because I was on some Doobie Brothers this here morning. Okay. Let me see, one of the lines say, uh, it's always better than nothing. Okay, uh, okay, where it say— where is it at? I don't see it. Maybe, maybe I'm not look— I'm trying to look too fast. But anyway, that pretty much what the, the lyrics said It's like, you ain't gonna waste your time, you know, I'm not gonna waste my time, you know, just sitting around waiting on you to figure it out. So God's not gonna waste his best because you are refusing to put new information in. You can't, it don't work, it don't work like that. So some of you are trying to use the same data that got you heartbroken, that make you make the same decisions pick the same type of people, and you're trying to get something different, but you refuse, you refuse, you refuse, you refuse to either invest in yourself, whether it's picking up a book, whether it's getting a mentor, a counselor, going to therapy, getting a coach, whatever you need to do. Y'all refuse to do that. So now you close yourself off, you guard yourself, and all you say is, oh well, you know what, I'm busy, I don't have time. But at the same time, you wish you could just lay up in the middle of night, reach over and touch on some muscles or something, some thighs or something. But that's a choice that you're making. Just like you can make a choice to say that you're guarded and that my wall is up, you can make a choice to say, you know what, Although I have been guarded for a very long time, I today am going to choose to open up and make better choices. We weren't meant to live in this world by ourselves. We didn't even come here by ourselves. So all of that, the foolishness when the feminists come on my page, we came in here, this world, by ourselves. No, no, you had a little help. And then on, at the end of the day you were raised around. Even, even if it was not family, you were raised around people. So we crave where we come from. Okay, did somebody give me the lyric? Hold on. Oh, okay, let's see. Yes, don't waste your time. Don't waste your time numbing the pain. All of this obesity out here, that's emotional eating. You're trying to numb something. I remember when I got up to a size 16. Now I'm only 5'3", 5'4". Me and Kevin Hart are the same height. And I remember when I got up to a size 16, and for me That's, that's a lot for me because I've always been a size 6, even after high school, after having kids. I've always been that size. So when I was married, I was, um, I went through about a depression when I was married, and I gained quite a bit of weight. So I went from a 6 to a 16. And I remember when I filed my divorce papers, within that month I lost 20 pounds and I was able to keep that off. The next time I gained weight was years later after I had my hysterectomy because my hormonal imbalance, but I got rid of the depression, right? So I was eating to mask the pain. I do long for a meaningful relationship. I'm still working on me. Just because you're working on you does not mean that somebody can't come into your life. A lot of people think that I have to be working on me means I have to be completed. We're never completed. I'm not completed. No one is completed. All you really have to do, to be honest with you, is acknowledge, okay, you know what, I do know there's some areas of my life that I need to work on, but, but as I work on them I am excited about meeting an amazing man or amazing woman coming into my life. That's it. So you don't have to have it all together. Why y'all— I'm working on me, I'm working on me. Hell, how long you gonna be working? Because you know we work on ourselves until the day we die. And we've been taught that you have to be whole and healed before God will send you someone. No, normally You're not healed when someone comes along, but you're open enough to receive them. And through their love, affection, and, and respect and loyalty, and even some bumping in their heads along the way, your healing comes through that. What, what makes you think that if you have it all together, that I mean, you actually really need someone? Do you need somebody if every— if it's all together? Like, it's very interesting how we are programmed. So it keeps us— once again, another tactic to keep us from connecting. I have to have my life in order and everything together. I've met so many women that say, Miss April, I don't feel like I can date because my money ain't right. What? You are not your finances. True enough, asset women, we got to have some money. But that doesn't define you. Yes, you can be a broke woman today and be living from paycheck to paycheck today, and still out that same mouth that you talking about you living from paycheck to paycheck, you can still say, I'm getting my money right and get my finances in order. And as I do this, I know that I'm going to meet somebody that's amazing, that's coming to my life. And you know what, he's gonna be good with finances, he may be able to help me get my finances right, because he's going to accept me for who I am here, here, and not necessarily be looking for somebody that got a whole lot of money. I'm upset, just saying. So I needed to hear that. Now, how do you continue to work on yourself and build with someone? Well, here's the thing, when you're working on yourself You are based upon who you are, and when y'all connect, just what you're bringing is enough. That's what— that's what I'm trying to get to you. What you're bringing is enough to help them, because what they might need, you just naturally are. What you might need from them, they just naturally are. So while y'all trying to figure out how we gonna do this and do that, you being who you are with the right person is enough to heal them. And it's enough for them to heal you. It's enough. But if you think having material things, um, and money is the end-all be-all, you are definitely missing the bigger picture. So when you're on your road to be a better person, all it starts with is speaking it, affirming it, and then being intentional about your moves, your thoughts, and the things that you do, and go from there. It don't have to be this big old boom bang pow, the sky opened up and I heard the Lord say— y'all looking for way too much. Y'all doing way too much. It's making a decision. Your life starts and goes in the direction you want it to go into as soon as you make that decision and stick with it. I've told y'all before, program your phone to go off to check your thoughts. I'm just tired of men, have a good day. Okay, well, you can be tired of men, Cindy, just like you can make the decision to be tired of them. You can make the decision to make better choices and say, I'm not tired of them and I'm going to put new information in. So I can meet what I really want. So you're really not tired of men. You're just tired of using your same information that you've been using to attract men. So once again, the choice is yours. It's your fault. That's really what it is. Women that say stuff like that, like somebody wrote on my Instagram today, you know, if God drop a man in my lap, he just drop a man in my lap. And I'm like, well, he's not going to drop nothing in your lap because of your attitude. Or if you do get one, you're going to, you're going to get one that will not commit. Well, why would you say that? Because you're random. Random thinking equals random results. I've taught y'all that. So if you're saying, well, you know what, I'm tired of men, and if I get one, I get one, guess what's gonna happen? You're going to constantly meet men, but they will never be able to commit to you because they're gonna have always one foot in and one foot out because they're— you attracted randomness because you are random. Now when you say, you know what, I really would love to be in an amazing relationship, and I just really believe that this, no matter what I'm going through, there's somebody out there and leave it alone. But you can't be back and forth. See, the reason why you're back and forth is because your past experiences— but your past experiences became about with the current information that you have. If you're not doing anything to, to change those thoughts in that belief system and put new information in, you're going to get what you get. That's just what it is. So it's up to you now. If— and I told the same girl, I said, if, okay, a woman that really don't want no man, even God himself that says, you know what, this your husband, If she doesn't want a man, she's going to turn him completely away. Most of y'all would not turn a man down that is a good dude, and you know that he's a good guy. So you can't even say that. You can't even say that because the only reason why you're saying it is because of the hurt and pain. And fellas, it's the same thing, um, with you. I'm tired of these women. Okay, all right, I hear you, but let a good one catch your eye. Let one, you know, be like, oh wow, that just caught me off guard. But the only thing, the downside in that is because you have not even, I can't start working on your thought process, you might run her away because you're not used to good. Start learning how to be attracted to what's good for you, okay? Learn how to be what's attracted to what's good for you. Now this doesn't mean that if they're— I'm not talking about somebody good for you but there's no physical or sexual attraction. I ain't what I'm talking about. I'm talking about you got somebody in your life or trying to get in your life You're physically attracted to them, they do it for you mentally, emotionally, spiritually, all that, and your behind keep pushing them away. That's foolishness. That's foolishness. So at the end of the day, if you believe that you tired of men, if you believe that these men don't want none, I'mma just focus on me, on focus on— well, you've been focusing on you, but where have that gotten you? You still lonely. You still would like somebody to be there, um, for you and we have a support system. But once again, like this, the title of this video, you need to be touched on. Let somebody come and hug you the right way with some, with some muscles and smelling all good and whatnot. Girl, stop. You ain't fooling nobody, honey. It's like, oh Lord, let me get my mind right at that moment. I'm just saying, let's, let's, let's keep it 1000 and quit acting like what we don't want. No, we don't want any more of the foolishness. But because you're dwelling on the past situations, that's what you're going to continue to get in your life. When I got married in my 20s, I focused on what I didn't want. I didn't want a man like my father and stepfather. And guess what I did? I subconsciously put so much thought into that that I attracted that and even married it. Can I really blame him for being who he is? No, I cannot. I can blame myself for my thought processes. What you think about is what you bring about. LaRhonda said, where can I find one? See, wrong question. All right, let me, let me, let me, let me school you on that. Anytime you ask the question, where are the good men, but where are these good women at you talking about, Miss April, that would suggest that you do not believe that they're available. We don't say that. We're not taught in the Teach Me How to Date VIP Academy. We don't— we are not taught to say that, because as soon as you ask where something is You're, you're identifying and acknowledging the lack thereof. Okay, so because you think that way, you're never going to see him. How can I attract him? Join the Teach Me How to Date VIP Academy. We, we, they, they attracting them all day, every day, you know, over in there. It's more than what I can, what I can share, you know, here. But those ladies invested in themselves and joined the academy And they're also— a lot of them are actually coming to see me April 18th through the 20th here in Atlanta. Okay, so whatever you say, where is something, you're acknowledging the lack thereof. So as more you keep affirming the lack of something, the more you're going to see the lack of it. It's just what it is. That's why you not— you are to live at the end of a thing versus talking about from a thing. Meaning, if I keep wanting, wanting, wanting, wanting, wanting, wanting, wanting, wanting, I'm gonna always want. But if I acknowledge and say, you know what, I want to be a married woman, what am I going to do? You're going to start acting like it. You're going to start thinking from it, from where you are. You're already in it. You're going to start thinking about the life that you'll have once it's already said and done. You're not thinking about all of the processes in it. Do he like me? Will he call me? You ain't thinking about those things. Those are barriers. What you're thinking of is, I want to be in something meaningful, and this is what that looks like to me. Stop having these crazy-ass mental conversations with yourself, talking yourself out of a thing. And a lot of things you're talking yourself out of are things that have not happened, and you're just having these mental battles. Your life, what it looks like right now, is an indicator of what you think about yourself. And it's an indicator of what your processes are every day, what you think about every day. Because whatever you think about the most with feeling is what you have. It's just what it is. It's what it is. So if you don't like the fact that you don't have no money, look at what your thought process and belief system to money is. If you don't like the fact that you're not meeting men— now I can tell you where to go meet men all day. Our Academy members, they already know. But when they came in there, they had to understand, I can tell you where to go meet men, but will you know what to do when you get there? That's a totally different thing. I can tell you to go to the restaurant and have dinner at the bar by yourself, but will you know what to do when you get there? Because a lot of them, when they join us, I'm gonna say, "But I did what you said, but did nobody, you know, say anything?" No, because you didn't do what I said. You went where I said. You didn't do what I said. That's all that is. 2 totally different things. So I wanted to share that with you, uh, this morning. I gotta get out here so I can go, um, go see baby Charlie. Y'all know baby Charlie got his first haircut, y'all, and I had to hold my baby hand. He was crying, and I was like, oh my heart, my baby. And then I took my granddaughter to the salon for the first time. She wanted her hair straightened for the first time, so I let her get her little hair pressed and everything. She got little curls and stuff. So I'm gonna see my babies, um, um, now after I finish with y'all. But I wanted to share that with you, uh, that whatever you're choosing to do is what you're choosing to do. If you're choosing to stay busy, it's because you're choosing to stay busy. If you're choosing, um, to be an overeater because of emotions, because you're lonely, you're choosing to do that, okay? Because, uh, thank you guys so much. I love my bedroom. I still haven't found out who sent me these flowers. So once again, whoever sent me these flowers, um, to my office, thank you so much. Uh, I read it, I put the post, I think, below this one, but I still don't know, um, who these flowers came from, but they were definitely gorgeous and they smell really, really good. But so I put them in my bed because I buy myself flowers weekly and somebody heard me say that. And I got those, I think, what's today? Sunday, I think I got them. What, earlier this week? I think so. I don't know, still don't know. But thank, thank you if you're watching. Anywho, y'all have a wonderful Sunday. Have a wonderful, um, Sunday. And understand, human connection is important. It's unnatural and it's not normal to numb yourself from human connection. It's not normal, fellas. It's not normal for you to be walking around here knowing that you really want a woman in your life. And some, you know, because we get to, we get to a point, we get to a point in life where we say, I don't want random. I don't want to go on random vacations with nobody. I don't want to go on, you know, random dates and, you know, all of these different first dates that I have to keep continue to go on. I don't want to do that. I actually want to take the time to get to know somebody. And no matter how busy you are You can find time, just like you're finding time to keep your schedule busy. You can find time to open up your schedule if that's what you choose to do. But if you're not choosing to do that, that is just a choice that you're making. So don't complain. Don't complain. Human connection. So go out there, make a decision today to say, although my life is not necessarily where I want it to be I am choosing to open myself up. Now you don't have to just put your— wear your heart on your sleeve, but you can say, I'm choosing to open myself up to somebody wonderful. And gotta remember, a person may not require all of your time. They just might want a little bit of your time, and you can take your time getting to know someone. So a lot of you have this misconstrued notion that if I open up and I'm busy and I give up my time, that they're gonna want to bombard all my time. No, especially if it's a woman. Ask that woman. We have lives, we have things we need to do. We might be good seeing you once, maybe twice a week, you know, in the beginning, because we have things to do. But it doesn't mean that we don't want human connection, so we're going to make time for that. So fellas, don't start with the 'she need too much time,' 'she wants so much time,' 'she wants so much time.' It's not necessarily that. If she has a life, she doesn't want all of your time. Now, if she bored and don't have nothing to do and she don't know her purpose in life, she might be on you. She could— she content with just going to work and coming home, she might be pulling on you a little bit. But an asset woman that has a life, has some business about herself, has some goals and aspirations, she does want some of your time, she does want to bond with you, but she's not going to want to be in your face all the time. She's going to give you your space because I know me, I need my space. I definitely need my, uh, my space. So a woman like that, she's not going to be all in your face. But she will require a little bit of your time. And then the more that you guys, you know, continue to grow, then you spend more and more and more and more time. But a woman with something to do, she ain't trying to be up under you. Absence, darling, makes the heart grow fonder. Not always being up under you. So ladies, figure it out. Go get a life, because the fellas be running because they think you want all the time. And really, a woman with some business about herself, she don't want all your time like that. Now you might grow to spend more time, but she's not trying to be all in your face, you know, like that all the time. So just like you're saying you're busy, just like you said, oh, I need to go eat, girl, let me go get this chocolate cake, honey, because he done got on my nerve— that's emotional eating. Just like you go do retail, um, therapy instead of really dealing with, let me see why I feel the way that I do. I think that was Solange that said, I tried to shop it away, I tried to, you know, eff it away. You know, I traveled all of these places to try to get rid of it, but that wasn't the issue. She— no matter where she went, I have to deal with me. Okay, love y'all. Bye.