Your Last Holiday Alone!

Well, hello darlings, hello! I'm back. She's back two times in a night, back to back. I'm feeling good today, y'all. I'm feeling good today. So, um, I wanted to address this topic about being alone for the holidays. So since we are live on Facebook, I will, uh, wait for you guys to come in. I guess I can do this live on IG too at the same time. Let's, let's try to do dual things, do dual things here. Let's see how y'all doing. I wanted to talk about it. Let's see, I go live on IG again too. Hey Instagram, I'm back! She's back twice in one night. Nope, I couldn't stay away, I couldn't stay away. I know I haven't been going live a lot lately and you guys, guys and gals have reminded me that I have not been going live, um, quite— oh, there's a reason for that, but we'll talk about that at a later date. So I decided to come back two times, two times, and tonight we're talking about something that is near and dear to me and other, others that I, um, have come across, and I've experienced it myself, and I understand how you could feel about being alone for the holidays. Okay, so let's jump right into this, you know, and make sure you share this with someone that, you know, might be in the same position as you. Or even if you're not alone for the holidays, you know people who may be alone. Hey, aloha from Hawaii! Hey there, Hawaii! And all my, my, uh, I see my Johannesburg folk and my Australia folks. I see y'all in here. And my United Kingdom folks, thank you so much for, um, tuning in and being with me twice, twice in one night. So in the Teach Me How to Date VIP Academy, I asked the ladies, how does it make you feel? You know, how do you really feel during this time of year if you are alone? And I've read some of the comments. I haven't really responded, but this is something that I wanted to talk about. Hey Dubai, how you guys over there in Dubai doing? I wanted to really discuss this because I know that it can can be very tough spending the holidays alone. And I, if I'm honest, majority of my adult life I, um, spent the holidays alone. Even when I was married, you know, I spent the holidays, uh, up by myself because either we were having some issues, we separated, some stuff was going on. But I understand how you can feel that You may have the love of your family, your friends, your kids, your grandkids, but there's something special about having romantic love during those special times of the year, those holiday times. So I totally understand it. And a lot of times people try to tell you that, oh, just keep yourself busy, busy, busy. And in my opinion, there's nothing wrong with being having something to do and, you know, um, being proactive. But I find it that people will crash when you try to act like you don't feel okay, when you try to act as though you're not bothered by spending another holiday season, especially the Christmas season, alone. So I'm not here to tell you to go pamper yourself and throw yourself into, you know, all of these things trying to distract yourself. I'm here to say, feel it. Feel what it feels like again to be single and alone for the holiday. You can feel that. It's okay. Now that you felt it, make a decision today. Uh-oh. Hold on, my son. Oh, sorry, IG. Make a decision today. Well, see, that's— now see, now let me make a pause because I gotta do this. Um, you know, I, I— when you have— even though I know this is getting good— hey, Miss Jackson— when you have a son, um, and he calls you this late at night, um, I, I get nervous as a mother of an African-American son. Uh, I get a little nervous, so hold on, y'all. Let me make sure nothing was going on. Um, and I will continue this because I do know we— that we want to, um, talk about this. Hello? Hey, baby, you okay? What's going on? Where are you? Okay, um, like, where are you? Yeah, yeah, can— are you, are you in a safe place? Like, where? Can— is there— are you by anything? Okay, um Are, are there any lights or anything? I mean, are you by a gas station or something? Okay, give it 5 minutes and see what happened. Yeah, I get it, but you still have to give, give it about 5 minutes to see what happened. Put your emergency brakes or lights on. Okay. Bye-bye. Told you, as a mama, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta check on the kids. And his car's— his little car's acting up, so I'm like, give it 5 minutes, it may, um, it may start. He was on his way to work, so I, I'll check on him in a second. But, um, yeah, he's— this is my child that like to do things on his own. But when you have an African-American son that calls you at 11 something at night, you gotta make sure everything is everything. I'm just saying. So, uh, yeah, uh, but anywho, as I was saying, um, I'm not here to tell you that you should not feel, you know, that you are alone for the holidays. I'm here to say feel it, but I'm also here to say make a declaration that this will be your last holiday season alone. Stop leaving your love life up to chance. Stop feeling as though you're waiting on something magical and mystical to happen, okay? Stop waiting on that, all right? You are the artist and your life is the canvas. You determine, you determine, um, exactly— you determine exactly what it is that you want in your, in your life. Um, let's see, I'm telling— text me your location, I may have to go soon and just go, go do mama duty and go on down there. But this is my one— before I just step out, I gotta make sure— no, he likes me to just— mama, chill out, let me handle it as a man first. So he said let him handle it first, and then— so I'm trying to sit back as mama, but you know how we get, you know, when I— when our 20-year-old who driving the Lexus is out by himself on his way to work, you know. So I'm gonna let him get— I'm gonna give him a few minutes, but after that I'm gonna have to go. I'm gonna go check on my baby. But, um, be, be okay with being honest about what it is that you want, okay? And I think a lot of times we don't get what we want because we are not honest, because we're like, well, if it's meant for me, it's for me. No. If God— if that's what God has for me, it's for me. No. Just because God may have something for you and presented to you, that doesn't mean you wise enough, um, to pick it up, okay? Y'all like my cover, my glass cover? I take this Take this out to me when I'm at places. It's pink, put over my glass. Everybody be like, oh, she must be fancy, she must be fancy. And I am, y'all, I am. Um, but don't beat yourself up and keep replaying the past, okay? You make a decision right now, today, at 12th— it's 12th, um, 12/4, December 4th at 12:55 PM Atlanta time, Eastern Standard Time— that this will be your last year of being a single man or a single woman. Once again, people will say, oh, you got the Lord, or you have your children, you have your family, you got your grandkids. That doesn't replace romantic love. So stop letting people try to make you do other things to act as though, or distract yourself from what you really— what it is that you really, really want, okay? Don't allow, don't allow that to seep in, because what you'll find yourself doing is getting so distracted with doing all of these other things and volunteering and giving up your time and pampering yourself that you don't put any focus on saying, I'm going to develop who I am at my core. I'm going to be the type of woman or the type of man that gets this result? If this is what I want, what do I need to let go of? What do I— who do I need to become? Do I need to let go of past relationship issues? Do I need to let go of past family traumas? Do I need to let go of unforgiveness? What do I need to let go to be the person that I need to be to get this result over here? And then once you identify what's been holding you back, you are going to have to make a solid decision to say, I release it. My desire to have a meaningful relationship outweighs the heartbreak, the trauma, the trust issues, the lies that were told, the, the things that I may have done in the relationships. Because you got to look at it— wasn't just somebody else's fault, okay? Wasn't just everybody else's fault. What did you do? You know, if you didn't know who you were with your low self-esteem and you didn't have the confidence, you chose somebody body that was a reflection of what you didn't want. And I wrote a quote, uh, today. Let me read you my quote. Let me read you my quote. Uh, where'd it go? Come on, Miss Mason, where's your quote? Um, you will always attract someone who gives you what you fear. Okay. Once again, you will always attract people into your life that are a representation of what you fear. They give you back what you fear. So if you're afraid of, um, meeting someone that you can't trust, or you're going to constantly meet that. If you're going to meet someone that you feel like, um, if you— I mean, if you're afraid of, of somebody cheating on you, won't commit to you, or, you know, you're not being enough for You're— that's your fear. You're going to always attract what you fear. Instagram, okay? So at this place in your life right now, you can make a declaration that this will be the last holiday season that I will spend alone and mean it and let everything else go. The holiday time is one of the most, uh, with the suicide rate go up because loneliness is something else. People don't understand. They'll tell you to, you know, you lonely because you don't have nothing going on in your life. You can have a whole heck of a lot going on in your life, but there's nothing that replaces romantic love. I could kiss my grandson and my granddaughters all day, but guess what they don't replace? The love of a man. It doesn't replace the support system, the biceps and the triceps, and the pectoral muscles, and, and all of that stuff. It doesn't replace that warmth, that somebody to snuggle up with, somebody to sit back and that to watch Netflix and chill with, and they want to be with you, not just want to Netflix and chill and get on about the way, okay? Never let anybody try to downplay what you desire. You know, one of the things that I noticed is elderly, the season when their spouse die, you'll see some of them die of loneliness right after that. Or you also see some of them say, forget that. Like my grandmama, when my grandfather died, um, and Mr. Vaughn's wife passed away they wouldn't married each other, honey. So when people say you shouldn't be getting married because you're lonely, that's the dumbest thing that I've ever heard. Because loneliness should not be the only thing. But if it's something that's on your list of saying, you know what, I don't want to die alone, I don't want to be lonely, I want to be in a committed relationship, then that's why you— that will be your reason for wanting to get married and be in a relationship. Elderly people, they don't have all of them hangups. That we have. Let they spouse die today, Uncle John gonna go find him another woman 3 months later. Didn't mean he didn't love Aunt Mary that he was married to for 50 years. It just means he understands he does not want to be alone and he wants to share his life with somebody. We are the only ones, us younger folk, that you don't— you get married for somebody because you lonely, you know, you and you run the risk of just, uh, just marrying somebody. See, let me correct this for you. Just because you marry someone because you're lonely does not mean you did not do your work to pick someone that meets your core needs. Okay, hold on, let me see. Do I need to come, son? That's him texting me, trying to— he trying to handle it like a man. And I'm, you know, I try not to just, you know, step in as mama, you know. I try to You know, not, not my baby, but you know, I do. I'm just texting, do I need to come? Because Mama will go put on her turtlenecks and her Timbs and come out there with you, okay? Um, but never let anybody make you feel like just because you, you're lonely and want to be in a relationship that you're desperate. Just because you marry someone because you're alone does not mean you did not do your due diligence in vetting them. It doesn't mean that you didn't see if they met your core needs, if you— they were a purpose mate, if you guys were compatible. It doesn't mean you didn't do that. It just means the top thing on your list is I do not want to be single for another holiday season or for the rest of my life. That's just high on your totem pole. Where some women, you know, they might say, I— a security is important and I need a man, um, you know, for, you know, for security reasons. Whatever your thing is on top of your list, but never let anyone make you feel bad that being married or being in a relationship because you're lonely is a bad thing because they— when they do that, it would suggest that you were desperate and just picked anyone. And that's not what you did because, you know, I don't teach you that. Okay, but if that's important to you, yeah, I'm, I'm getting married because I, I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. That's what elderly people do. If financial stability is what you, you know, what you want, somebody to support you, not necessarily, uh, you looking as a gold digger, but you understand the importance of coming together and you want that security, there's nothing wrong with that for a woman looking for that in a man, because men provide security. We know that. So whatever your thing is, let that be your thing, as long as you're coming from a genuine and authentic place. You ain't trying to run game on nobody, okay? So be okay this— with this being your last holiday season, okay? Be okay with saying, I don't like the way this feels. Okay, after hearing you speak, all I can hear is you should pray over your listeners. I'm not religious, so I'm not gonna pray over them, but, but my folks that have been following me for a long period of time— if you're new to me, take what I'm saying and know that where it's coming from. Is from a place of I want to see you succeed. I want to see you have what it is that you desire to have. Okay, you already know God the Creator has the best for you, but what happens is you don't take the actions to move forward. So I could pray all day if I wanted to But the prayer is not going to do anything. It's your action that's going to do it. Okay, it's you saying, I release the past and I'm ready to embrace this new future. 2019 is my year because I'm making my 2019 my year right here on December 4th. Who knows, you could meet somebody tomorrow and they might be in the same place as you, don't want to spend Christmas alone. And y'all might go do something and have a good time. You never know. You never know. So action— to be honest with you, action trumps your prayers because people pray all day, but prayer means nothing without the faith. To move. And in this season of your life, it's time for you to let go of the baggage. Let go of what had happened, what he did, what she did. No more living back there in the past. Those days are over. Because guess what? You holding on to that is keeping you single for the holidays. It's keeping you without companionship for the holidays. So you're manifesting, but look at what you're manifesting. Look at what you're manifesting— the same experiences. Okay, do you want the same experiences? No, you don't. So this means you have to do something different. You have to do something different. God is tired of y'all praying about the same foolishness that he's already given you the ability to change. You could pray all day, but if you already have the power and this is what you say you believe, why does not your life reflect the power that you say you have? Okay, it's up to you, Instagram and Facebook, to make the decision and then do the work. Don't just say amen. Won't he do it? No. He's already given you the power to do it. He's not doing anything, because if he was doing it, all of them prayers that you've been praying, it will be done. But it's not your prayer that you're lacking, it's your implementation and procrastination that has you caught up. It's your using the ability that God gave you to create in your mind. Because everything, you know, I taught you guys— if you're new to me, you— this is new for you, but if you're not, you already know. Everything in this world, I teach you, was created twice. Out of your brain, you think of it first, and then it comes to life. This phone was created in Steve Jobs' brain, then it manifested. These glasses, somebody thought of them, and then now we have this. They have these— this remote control, all of it. Was created twice. So the reason why you keep going through the same situations is because you're using your God-given ability to create, to recreate your same experiences and your same fears. You can't change that, okay? You can't change the past, so stop living back there. I say it's okay to be afraid to enter into a new relationship. It's okay. But guess what? Even though you might be afraid and a little hesitant, you strap yourself down like you're sitting in a roller coaster and you got the harness over you, and you take it. You take it even though you're afraid. Because when you get on a roller coaster, you scared. But guess what you do? You get on there anyway. You have the courage to keep going and get on there anyway. And you could lose your entire life. But I'm afraid, but I'ma keep moving. I'm afraid, but I'ma take a chance. I get on a roller coaster and I take a chance of losing my life even though I'm afraid, but I'm willing to take that chance. So why not take a chance on love again? I know I've been there, been heartbroken, been, uh, been divorced. I get it. I totally understand it. But at the end of the day, your desire to have a meaningful relationship has to outweigh all the hell that you done been through. You have to decide, does the result that I get and I'm getting right now— is there— is that the result that I want in my life? If not, who do I need to become? What do I need to let go to get this result over here? Make this your last holiday season of being single. Be okay with it. Doesn't make you desperate. It doesn't make you, um— see, they don't— they're not happy in their singleness. No, no, you can be happy in your singleness, but baby, you don't have to be content. Okay, I'm sorry, I said that wrong. You don't have to— you could be happy and content in your singleness. You don't have to be complacent. That's what I meant to say. You don't have to be complacent. And religious folks and religious teachings makes it seem like you just focus on this and focus on God and focus on— and God gonna send you somebody. No, your heart has to be open to receive. You have to be willing to take a step and get off your knees praying. The prayer has been already prayed. What you— what are you gonna do about it? What are you going to do about your love life? Are you going to be the 'I'm too busy woman'? I got the 'I'm too busy' um, uh, syndrome. Are you going to be her? 'I don't have time. All these men, they don't want anything. These women, they don't want good men.' Are you going to continue to continue to continue to create that story? No, Marcus, I don't agree. Focus on God and all these things will be added. That's not, that's not true. There's people that have been focusing on God, but they're so focused on God that they, that they have no concept of when something comes into their life. You could be spiritual and have a relationship with God. You don't focus on God, you have a relationship. A relationship is reciprocal. That's religious talk. That's the talk that I'm trying to get you guys. Majority of my audience come from religion and come from church. I'm trying to get you out of that because it's not working for you. If it was working for you, you would have the result that you want. Those, those clichés— focus on God— those, those clichés, you know, God will give you everything you need. No, he's giving you the power to get everything you need. You're just not using it because people hide behind religion. They hide behind, won't he do it? They hide behind it, what God got for me is for me. That don't— where is that written? Where is that written? These clichés are keeping you lonely. These clichés are keeping you single. These clichés are keeping you bound up. Most people in religion have no relationship, period. A lot of you women are waiting on a man of God. I'm waiting on a man of God. A man of God don't necessarily have to go to church. You want a spiritual man, you don't want a religious man. That ain't what you want. You have the power because the Creator has already given it to you. And so you wondering why you keep praying and keep praying and keep praying, and then you still— you get back up and tell somebody, just pray about it. No, because you've already prayed about it. Have you gotten a result? Are you gonna still wait? Asset women take control of their life. That's what we do. We take control of our life. I'm trying to— hold on, y'all, I'm trying to see. Do you need me to come? Because Mama will come. Oh shoot, yeah, I'm about to go because now— let's see, don't tell me I'm sorry, the person you— yep, gotta go now. His phone is not, uh, he must, he must— his phone must have died. So let me try him again. I'm sorry. Yep, let me go get my baby. But anywho, I wanted to make sure I, I did this video for you guys. Um, be okay with saying this will be my last year alone. And after you say it, believe that you are enough. Believe that the best is waiting for you, is waiting for you. What you're seeking for is seeking you, but you have to get in alignment to get the best. Stop settling for better and get what's best. But the only way you can identify best is that you have to get clear vision. You have to get to a place where you say, my past was my past, and I'm going to bust the door to get through it. I'm not gonna hold that, you know, I went through a divorce, you know, I'm a man and I've been through a divorce and I don't want to get my heart again. They say a man, you know, you know, we only fall in love one time. That's a lie that you are— you holding. That's something you are choosing. If you choose that I am not ready for a relationship That's a choice that you're making. The same way you can choose you're not really ready for a relationship is the same way you can choose that you are relationship ready for a relationship. Oh, it's bad timing. There's no such thing as bad timing. You know why? Because you determine the time. Okay, you meet somebody awesome today. Oh, I'm in school, was bad timing. That's only because you're putting something else over a relationship. You determine the time. You determine the time. There's no such thing as bad timing. If you're single and ready to mingle, there's no such thing as bad timing. Oh, I gotta get my money right. But yet the person that the Creator puts in front of you could be that helpmate that you need to help take you to the next level. As women, you know, fellas, I ain't even gonna get into it, but you know we the favor, baby. When we, we put our— what we put our fairy dust, but our bibbidi-bobbidi-boo on it, whatever we touch, asset women always amplifies. So because of that, you trying to grind it out by yourself, you might just need that helpmate. Ladies, while you trying to grind it out, it might be that man that comes with the tools that you need to help you get to that next level, okay? It's up to you. To choose. Up to you to choose what the timing is for your life, because everything is already done. It's just waiting on you to catch up. When are you going to stop playing small and catch up? What if you've done all of this and it doesn't work? Then apparently you haven't done all of that. You haven't done all of that because it Works. It works because you can go out and make a decision today. It works. It's all up to you and what you decide to let go of. So if you don't want to be alone for another holiday season, what are you going to do about it? Well, I just don't want anybody. Nobody told you to just take anybody. Nobody said that. I don't know why we equate to I don't want to be alone anymore to— don't be careful, you don't want to get anybody. I know, I teach asset women. An asset woman can say she doesn't want to be single anymore, and she can do the work to make sure she picks, chooses the best candidate. Just because someone says they don't want to be alone and single does not mean they're desperate or they're going to take the first person that approaches them, because asset women, we always have options, honey. But we will vet to make sure we have the best purpose-made for us. So never let anyone who makes you feel like if you say, I don't want to be alone for the holiday season, or no, again, a period, I'm ready to be in something serious, that that equals desperation, or that you did not do your due diligence, or you just pick somebody out of this, you know, out of desperation, not want to be by yourself. I don't know why people do that. But the way I teach, asset women know better than that. They know to say, you know what, I'm doing my work and I've done my work and I'm ready to be in a happy, successful, fulfilling partnership. That's what I'm ready for. I'm tired of being by myself. I'm tired of creating memories by myself. This is what I want. Doesn't mean she's going to just go grab the first guy to tell her she cute. Asset got a whole lot of men telling her she cute. Asset women have a whole lot of men vying for her attention. Asset women have a whole lot of men wanting to do for her and take care of her. Asset women, we have that. But what we have done, because we have worked on ourselves, is we become selective, okay? We become selective in who we allow in our space because we've done so much work to become this amazing woman that we don't just want anything in. So it might take you a little bit longer sometimes because your pool gets a little bit smaller when you start doing the work because You've unplugged from the Matrix, and everybody else is plugged into the Matrix. So when you unplug from the Matrix and you look back, always is a bunch of choices back in there, but you've come out of the bubble and you don't want to be back in the bubble. So you'd rather wait than go back to the bubble. You'd rather continue to develop yourself and push your position yourself to be found. Y'all know in 2012 I came out with Single No More, position yourself to be found. And you would rather sit back and, and, and go into the environments with the type of people that you want are— you'd rather do that instead of just grabbing someone. So never let anybody make you feel like if I say I'm ready for a relationship or ready to be married that I'm desperate. No, asset women, we don't operate from a desperate place. We are women that can declare and say and verbalize what we want. Even to a man. But what we didn't say is that we want it from that particular man. We're just okay with saying it. Be comfortable in what it is that you look— you're looking for and what you desire. Be okay. Don't shy away from it. No, you don't have to sit back and just stand up and broadcast it from everywhere, but if you're asked, be okay with saying, at this time in my life, I'm looking for something real. I'm looking for a partner that I can— that we're on the same page, that I can settle down with, and that we can build something. Someone that can join me on this exciting life that I have, someone that, um, can add to my happiness. Be okay with saying that and not feel like if you say it, people are going to immediately equate you to being desperate. Doesn't mean that. How do you make them go away when they're married? You just send them on their way. It's not a big deal. When you are an asset woman, your energy will attract all kind of people because you're just radiant. It's up to you what you accept. Okay, y'all, love you. Gotta go, gotta go get my baby because his phone done died and I want to make sure he's straight. So, you know, like I said, when you got an African-American son on his way to work and don't go dang near midnight, you get nervous when you get them calls. So let me go throw on my Timbs and my sweatshirt and go get my baby. Love y'all. It's okay. This will be your last holiday season alone. Bye.