Act Your Age, Not Your Shoe Size? The role of influencers and social media in defining and redefining how aging is viewed.

Hey, I'm Camille D. Jamerson, and this is Life at the Half, my midlife style podcast about shifting the over-40 crowd from midlife crisis to midlife clarity. Over the course of this limited season, Life at the Half will make you laugh, think, cry, feel, and it will inspire you to intentionally design this funky in-between season in our lives. Midlife doesn't know who it's messing with. We are Gen X, baby, and it's just halftime for us. There is still so much more game for us left to live. So let's figure out our next play together, okay? Here on Life at the Half. Hey, hey, and welcome to Life at the Half. I am your host Camille D. Jamerson, and I am so excited that you have tuned in today. Now, anybody who knows me for real, for real they know that I am a major Prince fan. So I had to at least name one episode in his honor. So today's episode is titled "Act Your Age, Not Your Shoe Size," and it's a lyric. And if you are listening to this, you actually should know, but it's a lyric from Prince's 1986 hit "Kiss." Now, when we hear the first part of that phrase, "Act your age," our immediate assumption is that someone is acting much younger. Than they should be. You know, somebody's acting like a baby, you're like, act your age, you know. Um, and that's what Prince meant by it in that lyric. But let's turn that on its ear. What if somebody has fallen into the trap of acting much older than they are, right? What if their definition of what it means to be this age has been kind of skewed by what they've heard, by what they've seen, by what they believe to be true? What if somebody 40 or 50 years old like us has taken on the mindset of a 90-year-old and has simply stopped living and stopped dreaming because they think they're too old. I found myself slipping into that, um, real talk. And one day I was scrolling Instagram and looking at all the things I would never do, and I saw this page called Fly Hip and Ageless, um, and on it were men and women who look like me. Some were even older than me. I mean, they were dancing and partying and styling and profiling and doing fashion uh, clips. And I mean, just all kinds of things. They were just living. And I immediately followed the page, and it really helped shift my paradigm on what midlife should look like. So I looked them up, and it's the tagline for me. Uh, the tagline is that the real glow up happens after 40. So I wondered, what, what role does social media and social media influencers play in how aging is viewed and how do we push back and define it for ourselves? And I thought of no one better to have this conversation with than the CEO and chief flyologist of Fly Hiffn' Ageless herself, Miss Kimberly Bunton. Kimberly, welcome, welcome, welcome to Life at the Half. It's such a pleasure to have you.

Oh my goodness, it is a pleasure to be here, um, with such energy. I am too very much a Prince fan. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Um, I, I'm still, I think, mourning, um, right?

It still doesn't seem real. It still doesn't seem real.

So, oh, this is that infamous, you know, um, act your age, not your shoe size. Well, I probably, what was 12, 13 years old, I don't know when he actually said it, um, and I had to have really big feet. So, uh, my shoe size was probably somewhere near matching.

Like they were neck and neck, neck and neck, always for a long time.

But that's a whole different conversation. I believe he was talking about, you know, not being mature, right? Right. And, you know, in this particular game that we're playing, Flying Hippenachulis, it's all about your mindset.

Absolutely. So why don't you tell our listeners kind of the story behind Fly Hip and Ageless and why you started it.

So Fly Hip and Ageless is my brainchild that really comes from me not wanting to get old, Camille D. Jamerson. I was 45 years old when I founded it, and I wasn't founding this community or this agency that has become— I was really just very new to Instagram. Well, I wasn't even on Instagram at the time. I founded it on Facebook. I wasn't on Instagram. I'm an attorney by trade. So at that time, it really was kind of taboo for us to be on social media. We were being advised not to be on it. And before I was an attorney, I was a journalist. And there was just all of this negative, I guess, stigma associated with being on social media. But I had started a coworking space and I was using my sister who was all over social media to manage the page and she just wasn't quite getting it right for the coworking space. The coworking space was called the Fly Cubicle. And so she just really wasn't quite hitting the mark. It wasn't given the right amount of wittiness. It wasn't given the right amount of fly with wittiness. And she's fabulous at what she does and has grown a lot of pages, but it just didn't have my personality. I started to introduce myself into actually managing social media at that particular point with a journalist mindset. So we have a schedule. This is the theme for the day. This is all these things organized. Yeah, organized as if you can be. You can, but not really.

Not really.

Right. And then we started having these paint parties that were really popular and amongst those who were over 40 at the coworking space. And we were just joking around one day because I'm a big hip-hop head and I said, I basically was like, I'm going to be listening to hip-hop for the rest of my life. And when I say hip-hop, Camille D. Jamerson, I am speaking of hip-hop today and hip-hop of yesterday. Okay, so I'm not just an old head, I'm a new head as well. And I may not look it, but that's what I am. And so I got all this kind of weird response, like, you know, you're gonna have to give that up at some point, or something along those lines. I was pretty— that's what the rules say. Yeah, that's the rules. Like, I think there's a rule maybe that if you reach a certain age, all you can really listen to is Frankie Beverly and others. Like, I think that's—

wow.

Um, at least that's the way it feels sometimes. And no, no knock to that, but I, I love that. But honestly, um, it felt very, very, uh, confining for me. So I was out there looking and I said, I don't think there's anything like this. So I started Fly Hip and Ageless, and it was really just to fuel my own energy, but it grew pretty quickly. People were catching on. And so I went at it for a while, and ultimately we've grown it into the community that it is that actually exists on social media to really to motivate and inspire others to live their lives the way that they want to at this age. And I stress that particular part. Um, but it also has grown into a creative agency that represents, uh, Black and Brown influencers over the age of 40.

That's awesome. Now, I, when I get on the page, I've noticed that all types of people are drawn to your brand.

Yeah.

Are there, are there any demographics that surprise you?

No. Well, they, they used to surprise me. None of it surprises me. Right. So believe it or not, we're almost 50/50 with, you know, Black and white. Audience that follows us, which is amazing when people, you know, when we're, when we're talking to brands and companies, that always amazes them. But I think the thing that surprises most people is that 45% of our followers are under the age of 40. And I think that's because they're drawing from the, you know, the inspiration. And it's aspirational, too, that it shows them that, you know, when I get to this age, I am not going to have to abandon, you know, who I am. I can continue to do all those things that I used to do. I might even be able to do them better, but I'm damn sure going to be looking good when I do it. I don't have to— period. Yeah.

And I think it takes the fear out of it for them. Like they don't have to fear aging.

Well, that is the thing, because whether, you know, it looks like it or not, most of us fear aging, right? We do fear aging in some form, whether we fear it like how we're aging in the way that we look or how we're aging in our minds, not being able to do the things that we used to do. So we're all kind of fearing it and we're all seeing the signs of it. So it's unavoidable, right? It's completely unavoidable. However, how we approach it is completely up to us. And that's what we are really promoting in the community of Fly Hippenagelis.

And let's talk a little bit more about that. How much does mindset affect what aging looks like to an individual.

100%. Yeah, 100% is 100% mindset. So when you hear the term fly, hip, ageless, it's really a flyology. It's really a philosophy, which is why I am the flyologist. That's why I call myself that, right? So fly is really paying attention to your own personal style, whatever that may look like. We've got a 40-year-old on the page right now, who kind of has— I think she calls herself kind of a fairy, you know, she, she has a very light, airy, whimsical, if you will, style about her that is unique to her. And her message today is that, you know, they tell me that I'm too old to be dressing this way. Well, you know, honestly, it's about empowerment. You do whatever you want to do, right? Especially once you get to 40. You get to 40 years old, you should not be taking instructions anymore unless there has a consequence to it. Um, and so fly is about your personal style and how you move. Um, and hip is really keeping your mind up to date. That means continuing your education. That means, you know, knowing what's trending, being innovative. It's all about your mind. That's what the hip part is about. And then ageless, despite what people think it is, it is not about looking less than your age. It is about being in tune with your mind, body, and your spirit. Because when you do those, then you're— you become beyond your age. You become something that is not thinking about age, but about how you preserve and maintain your body.

That's awesome, Kimberly. We're going to take a break in a minute, but when we come back, what I want you to think about is some of the things that you may have seen or come across on your page that you think we should stop doing as we get older. I, I know the list could be mighty—

no, but yeah. Okay, okay, well, everybody, don't move, don't move, don't move, don't move.

We'll be right back. Welcome back to Life at the Half, where we are interviewing Kimberly Bunton, who is the CEO and Chief flyologist of the Fly Hip and Ageless brand. Before we went to break, we asked Kimberly a question, and, um, I am looking forward to her response. I asked you, Kim, what things we should stop doing as we get older.

Judging. Oh, we need to stop judging.

That's gonna leave a mark.

Ourselves. Like, we really just need to just, you know, embrace who we are. And when you do that, I think you're— it's easier for you to embrace others. At this age, we all have made plenty of mistakes. We all, you know, know that we don't do things perfectly, um, and we are entitled to our opinions, but I don't think that we should be so judgmental. And so that's one of the things in the Fly Hip and Ageless community that I really try to promote is not being so judgmental. So we keep it at a positive level, right? And there are times when, as a content creator, I miss the mark on what people really like. Sometimes it doesn't happen all the time, but usually when I missed a mark, it is something that seems very left field to people, something they've never seen before, or something that goes against, you know, what this generation believes is a, a societal standard, and I stand by it. I will stand by what I post, always.

I don't— what I said.

Yeah, I said what I said. Um, I'm not posting anything that's risqué, so it's nothing along those lines. But, uh, you know, at the end of the day, people are entitled to their opinions, so let them have it. You know, you don't like it, keep scrolling. So for me, um, when people get on there and they say, oh, you're too old to you're too old to wear such and such, or you're too old to do such and such. Well, you would think they're on Fly Hip and Ageless. They're in the wrong space.

Yeah, you're in the wrong space.

But there are some times where I get surprised at how triggered we can be. And it really usually shows that that individual feels like they have been shackled in some way and not allowed to do something that they wanted to do. And then it just kind of comes out in the comments sometimes. So if there's one thing that we need to abandon while we're aging is the judgment of ourselves and the judgment of others.

And I love that you said the judgment of ourselves because that could be tricky too. Yeah, quick to, you know, judge someone else, but you, you're also judging you personally and putting restrictions on yourself.

Like, yes, yes. And that's probably why You know, some of us are, you know, get more miserable as we age, you know, because we start to get confined into these boxes that we think that are built for us. And there's no box. There literally isn't. And so, you know, live your life and let others live theirs without you commenting on it.

That part. Well, and she said what she said. Now, one of the things I noticed about your page too is that nostalgia and music, um, play a big part, um, in, in the brand and, and kind of what you share. How important is that as we get older to remain somewhat nostalgic to where we kind of remember, um, Prince and, and all of his music and, and just kind of some of the things we've been exposed to culturally but not getting stuck there.

Yeah, that makes sense. Oh, it definitely makes sense because I don't like to get stuck there. So for us, we use it as energy triggers, you know, just to kind of trigger, you know, some music that takes you back for a second to a time that would be great, right? So I think nostalgia is good for that, but I literally try not to stay there. Like, I— when I say I— that hip in the middle of the name is very important, staying on trend and knowing and being innovative, because that And that is very important as we keep our minds fresh. You know, we've got to stay open-minded and be open to the next generation teaching us some things as well and learning how to integrate, you know, some of those older principles into today. So nostalgia is important. We use it definitely, but it's more like energy triggers. It's not like, you know, we want to stay there. All day because I am not one that can listen to a playlist that is old all day long. I will run out of the room.

I love that. And one of the things that my kids just— and I love to shock them, I mean, it's kind of what I do— but, um, is that how diverse my playlist is, you know? You know, it's like I can go from, um, my stuff, you know, my Prince stuff, to Timberland, to Frankie Beverly and Mays to Hall and Oates, and they're just like, you know, it's too much going on.

I, um, I've got one still in the house, and I take him to school in the morning while he's still waiting to get his, his license. And believe it or not, you know, I listen to his music the entire way. Um, and I do that for a lot of reasons. Um, one, I just don't subscribe to the principle that every all the good music is of the past. I do not believe that. And I know they do a lot of sampling and there's a lot of things going on, but I still maintain that some of that great music is still in the underground. You remember when we were growing up how, you know, there were certain musics that hit certain markets first and then you kind of had to wait. I don't know if you had to wait, Camille. Maybe you lived in one of those top markets, but I did not. Detroit, so yeah, so I didn't know a little bit, um, or, you know, I got the trending what was hot, you know, um, on, on the radios. And, and so, but everything that was really, really good tended to be in the underground for a while before it popped up, you know. And there is, you know, there are so many different ways and venues and channels to be able to see and enjoy new artists, and a lot of them are amazing. Um, you just got to be open to it. So I try to be open. I'm open to that, and I just I believe in that next-gen support.

Love that. My daughter and I, we have music battles where she plays something from her generation and then I find something to match it in mine and back and forth. And I love it because what I really love is showing her that there is nothing new under the sun, you know, so that sample stuff, you know, and I'm like, oh, I know where that came from. And then I'll put it on and she's like, are you kidding me? So, but it's a really cool place where we bond, um, our love of music and being able to kind of navigate in both of those worlds, the old and the new, I think is important. It not only helps, um, the next generation have kind of a history and a background, background, but I think it helps you stay young and like you said, stay, um, fresh in how you view things. Um, what things do you think age us? Faster than time, because time is going to do what time does.

But I think I'm sounding like a broken record, but our mindset ages us more than anything. Uh, when we get stuck into just an antiquated mindset, then we just continue to age. We don't— we're not open to new ideas, we're not open to new ways of doing things. Um, when we start to limit ourselves, that ages us. You know, we're not going to be able to do a lot about our external. You know, we can keep in shape, we can take good care of ourselves. That's not what I'm saying. But at the end of the day, if we do it all right, if we do it right, we're going to get old. And that's a good thing. And so I think that it's more of a mindset, like if you can just keep yourself open to new experiences and new information. Then it actually works best, you know, as you're aging.

So what do the kids get right and what do they get wrong?

I think they get individuality right. They get that part right, allowing others to be their individual selves. I think they get that part right. Where they go wrong is forcing, um, their individuality, um, and their mindset onto others.

Others. Yeah. Yes, I, I see that.

Yeah, I think they need to be just as open to all of us as they are to themselves.

Got that. I'm writing that down. Um, that's good. That is good. So as far as Fly Hip and Ageless and the brand as a whole, What's the future for the brand and for that community coming down the pike?

Yeah, so it's all evolving. Like, it is crazy. So this year we're focusing more on content and creating more written content for the platform. And so that is something that we're going to be rolling out at the end of the quarter. So Fly Hip Ageless as a business is Fly Hip Ageless Media. And we do, believe it or not, we do a lot of support for other social media pages. So we manage a lot of pages on behalf of other companies and brands, particularly those that are trying to reach out to those who are over 40 and Black and brown. And what I've learned in this experience is that the social media world and the platforms are a lot like neighborhoods. And so, you know, I had one of our clients that came on and they were like, oh, we've got, you know, these, these young people and they've got these Twitter fingers. And I'm like, yeah, they do. They've got Twitter fingers, but they're tweeting in the wrong neighborhood for you. You know, you've got to be able to focus and curate an audience that is designated for what your brand, who you're trying to reach. And for that particular brand, it was our market. And so for us, it's growing that piece of it as well. Doing more activations. We do activations that are social in nature, we call them fly spots, and that's where we come together and we party. At the end of the year, we started to come together and party, and then on that, that, in that morning, we actually had something that was educational or informational, something that, you know, helps feed the hip part of it and keep our minds together. And so we're kind of growing as that comes along. But at the end of the day, Camille D. Jamerson, the main mission is for us to become and be the largest digital platform of over 40 creators. We are trying to build the largest database that we can.

Let's go. Yeah, well, you guys are well on your way. I was so attracted to the brand, so I would not be surprised at all if you guys don't glow up. Um, in that area. Um, now these are questions that I ask every guest as we wrap up.

Just a couple things.

First, what are you reading, or what do you recommend that people read?

I never make recommendations because I am all over the place as a reader. Um, I'm an English major, so I'm always reading and never reading as much as I want to because I've got lots to do. But currently I am rereading The 36 Arguments for the Existence of God. Um, it is a fiction work. It is written by a philosopher who is also an atheist, um, but it makes very good arguments for the existence of God, um, in very— in a very philosophical way. So I reread it. This is probably my fourth time rereading it, um, because it gets my mind going philosophically. Um, but I'm also reading, um, Matthew McConaughey's, um, autobiography. Yeah, it's amazing. Um, he too is very philosophical. I think it probably surprises people, but I'm reading it for that reason. But I love the formatting of it, so I'm trying to curate different formats in my head for my own undertaking. And then, um, I just keep certain books, you know, that are just on standby just because I think that they are good ones as I lead because one of the things that I do outside of YHIPP and Ageless is that I'm president of a national workforce development company. Our book that we've adopted for this year is the 48 Laws of Power. Wow.

That's a heavy one.

Yeah, it is.

Yeah.

I'm working on number 18. Number 18 is the one that I've got a weakness in that I really need to work on.

And if you guys have never heard of that book, that is definitely one that I equally, um, would recommend. Um, now Kimberly, think about yourself at 16 years old, what you were like, what you were doing, and describe— give me 3 words that describe her.

Stoic, mature, and focused.

So kind of like now, huh?

Yes, not much has changed.

I love that.

What would you— heavier now. I'm heavier. I think that's what's—

okay, because my next question—

there you go.

Yeah, because what I was going to ask next is, what would you tell that 16-year-old?

Oh, well, I'll have to admit to you that the first word that came to my mind was a curse word, so I'm going to keep that to myself. But I would tell her, even though I was pretty confident, I would tell her, just go for it. Do not pause at all. They're not going to catch up.

Wow. I love that. I love that. Anything else you want to share before you leave? Um, any final words? Or—

no, this is amazing. I, I always love the opportunity to, uh, share the ministry of Fly Hip and Ageless, and, um, I really appreciate you providing me a platform to do that.

Awesome. Thank you so much for joining me today, Kimberly. It's been a pleasure.

No, thank you.

Life at the Hive.

Thank you.

And thank you all for tuning in today to Life at the Hive. Um, what I really want you to take away from this episode, if nothing else, is that Gen X has the authority and now the tools to turn what aging looks like upside down. Why? Because first of all, we already don't care what anybody thinks, and this is our season to kind of grow into our own skin, um, and kind of redefine what aging looks like to us. So put the old lady clothes up, guys, comb your beards. And let's just make the decision that we're going to glow up together, and we're going to make the decision for ourselves what we look like, um, at this age. So before we go, just a quick reminder: if you or somebody that you know would make a great guest on Life at the Half, we'd love to chat with you. Would you drop me a line at camille@thecamillecompany.com? Again, that's Camille, C-A-M-I-L-L-E, at thecamillecompany.com. Drop me a line, let me know, and either myself or someone from my team, um, will certainly get back with you. Um, thank you again for tuning in as we consistently move us from midlife crisis to midlife clarity here on Life at the Half.