Tears for Fears: Working through fear to design the life you REALLY want in this season.

Hey, I'm Camille D. Jamerson, and this is Life at the Half, my midlife style podcast about shifting the over-40 crowd from midlife crisis to midlife clarity. Over the course of this limited season, Life at the Half will make you laugh, think, cry, feel, and it will inspire you to intentionally design this funky in-between season in our lives. Midlife doesn't know is messing with. We are Gen X, baby, and it's just halftime for us. There is still so much more game for us left to live. So let's figure out our next play together, okay? Here on Life at the Half. Hello out there and welcome back to Life at the Half. I am your host Camille D. Jamerson, and it is a pleasure having you, um, back joining with me today. You know, you really can't think of the '80s without thinking about the band Tears for Fears, um, and their hits. I mean, like "Shout" and, um, "Everybody Wants to Rule the World." Their, their music is the kind that transports you back to the time of Jordache jeans and a side ponytail, like, in seconds. But for today's purposes, I was focused on the name of the band itself, Tears for Fears. In researching, I found out that the name came from some sort of primal therapy, uh, but anyway, at its core, it's, it's really a statement of exchange, right? Anytime you use the word for in that way, it's an exchange of some sort, as in this for that. In today's episode, we're going to talk about some of the fears that some of us have to really claim and live the life that we want to live, and what we will have to exchange in order to make that life happen. Now, we've been trained by the boomer generation that we're supposed to work our 40 years and then get your watch, and then once you retire, you can shift then and live the life of leisure in the sun. But, but what if I told you That sounded Matrix-ish, but seriously, what if I told you that you could live that life now? What if you knew the path or the secret to creating an environment that's more indicative of how you want to spend this season in your life, but you could do it now? Well, guess what? You can. I know somebody who's done it. Now it cost him, but I'll let him tell you whether or not it was worth it. As he comes into the studio, I want to read a little bit of his, uh, bio to you. My guest today, his name is Dr. Mario Jackson. Now Dr. Mario has a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology, a Master's of Education in Guidance and Counseling Service, and a Doctor doctor's degree of education in instructional leadership. And lastly, he's a certified coach, certified with the Coach Training Alliance, better known as CTA. And right now, Dr. Mario is helping Gen Xers learn how to think creatively about the future. He's created a signature coaching model that gives Gen Xers the permission to ditch the idea of waiting until retirement to enjoy the lifestyle that they want now. He works with his clients through that coaching model to get their heads out of the fog and create a clear vision of the life that they desire. Will you guys help me welcome today's guest, Dr. Mario? Hello, sir. How are you?

Hi, Camille. Thank you so much for having me on today. That was an amazing introduction. I loved it. Awesome.

Awesome. So as you, as you know, I just read like a smidget of your, your bio because your story is so phenomenal, even though I'm slightly jealous of how it all ended up. And we talked about that before. I don't care, I'm mad about it, but whatever. But I, I want you to tell your story because I, I just think you would do it more justice. Um, tell people kind of, um, how you got to where you are today and what fears you kind of had to overcome to realize the life that you have now.

Okay, and before I start, Camille, I'll let you know sometimes I have a little bit of issue with noise because I live literally behind the university So you'll hear trucks and kids and lunch and all that kind of stuff at some point.

No worry. When you guys hear where he lives, then you're going to be irritated too. So whatever, Dr. Mario.

Well, you know, Camille, first of all, I just want to say thank you for sharing your platform with me today to share my message. I am on a mission to disrupt the idea that you have to wait until you retire to live the life that you want to live now. Right. And I can't wait for us to get into some of the ways that we're going to— you can do that. But I want to just kind of share the evolution or the genesis, my genesis story, if you will, on how I came to do this type of work. So back in about 2018, I was living in Washington, DC, having a pretty okay life.

Right.

I was, you know, I had a six-figure salary job. I was working for a university. I was progressing, I guess you can say, professionally, but I just was not fulfilled. Right. And I know it's so cliché. Everybody says, oh, I just feel like something was missing. But I truly felt like that.

Yeah.

And I recall one morning I woke up and my feet hit the floor, and the first words that I said to myself that day were, I'm done with this city. Wow. Like, that was how my day started.

Like, good morning, and I'm done here.

But the interesting thing is that that happened to me prior to— that was actually how I ended up in DC, because when I lived in Atlanta, I had a similar experience. But what was different about this experience this time was I couldn't figure out where I wanted to go next. Right? And, you know, for lack of a better, you know, term, I just didn't have a vision of what I wanted my life to be. And I felt like I was just at the mercy of, you know, my employer giving me a raise or giving me a promotion, or, you know, meeting that special someone who would sweep me off my feet and take me into this brand new life, right? All BS, right? Because we know that when you rely on external things to bring you joy and happiness, you are setting yourself up for failure.

That's right.

So at that moment, I didn't quite know what direction I was going to take, but what I did decide to do was that I was going to travel a little bit more, and particularly on my own, which was something that I had not done up until that point. So I guess it was about June or so of that year, June or July, and I took a trip to Puerto Rico. And when I came here, I was like, oh, this is a really cool place. Like, there were so many similarities from how I grew up to what I saw in Puerto Rico, in the people and the food and the culture and the music, the lifestyle. Having grown up in the rural South, we ate everything, every part of the pig. And when I got here, I was just with people who were a little bit lighter complexion who ate every single part of the pig.

Every part of the pig.

Yeah. So I had a really good time. I had a blast. So I came, I went back to DC and I went on about, you know, my usual life, even still with kind of knowing like, I'm ready to leave here, right? So I said, you know what, I want to do something different for Christmas this year. I'm going to travel. So I went, I came back to Puerto Rico, I rented a car and I started driving around the island. And one of the first places that I visited was a town called Ponce, which is kind of like the original capital of Puerto Rico. So as I'm driving through mountains and, uh, you know, this, this very scenic landscape, I get to a point where the highway comes around a mountain. And on one side, after you come around the mountain, you have to your right the ocean, the rocks, the cliffs. You just see everything down. This is— it's vast. You can just keep— just look into the distance forever until the horizon literally disappears. Piers. And then to my left are these glorious mountains with trees and foliage. And it was just a moment— trying not to get choked up— it was just a moment where I had this opportunity to say, wow, look at what is available to me right here. And It was just so beautiful in that moment that I felt like I was connected to something.

Yeah, right.

And I don't know if anyone out there is listening understands what that connection feels like, but you feel grounded, you feel safe, you feel secure, and you feel like you actually have a purpose and a reason for being in that place. So long story short, went through the holidays, I spent Christmas here, and I came back right around New Year's, and that was probably one of the hardest flights to board, was leaving Puerto Rico to go back to DC. One, it was cold.

Let's start there.

Um, but I didn't know what was going on, and when I got back to DC, I was back in that environment of, I'm done here. And what occurred to me was it's time for you to make a change. And the change is not just about relocating. The change is really about you taking advantage of what is available to you in life right now, in this present moment, without having to delay another 20 and 30 and 40 years to actually enjoy having a vacation, or actually enjoy having a work day where you're in control of your schedule., and you can take a nap in the middle of the day if you want to, or you can actually sit down away from your computer and eat your lunch. Right. So little things, the simplest things. It was the simple things that I was not taking advantage of. And it wasn't quite in that moment, but within a few weeks, I made a decision that I was going to move to Puerto Rico.

Wow.

Right. Here's what I did at first. I told maybe 2 or 3 people, right? Because I knew there was going to be some backlash, right? Are you crazy? Like, what's going on? Like, are you having a midlife crisis? Probably. I'd like to call it a midlife awakening. Come on. I knew that if I did not make a change, I wasn't going to get what I wanted, right? And I was not going to sit around and wait for someone to give it to me. So I developed a plan. I not only wanted to relocate to a new environment, I also wanted to work for myself. So in DC, I incorporated my business and I started working in educational consulting, but also in life coaching. Life coaching. So as that was going on, I started preparing for my move. Now that was a whole situation. And for the listeners, I also have a podcast called Gen X Unlatched where I talk about this situation where I had to literally pack my life up in 14 boxes and put them in the United States Postal Service's hands. Now, that was scary, right? Because one, I'm looking at my 45 years at that point of living in 14 boxes. That's what it all comes down to. 14.

Bring your life down to 14 boxes.

Talk about having a little bit of a reality check and a wake-up call. But there was something about that that felt good because I knew that what was traveling through the post office was coming to me was what I needed.

Yep.

Right. The essentials and not all of the other stuff that I thought I needed. Right. Yeah, right.

Yeah.

Now here's the funny thing, Camille D. Jamerson. I wrote the wrong address on all 14 of those boxes.

Oh snap.

And it was by the grace of God, the universe, whatever deity you serve, that I just happened to catch the postman one day. And I'm checking these boxes, right? I'm checking these boxes, right? I know that, you know, oh, they're in Miami, or, you know, they're getting on the plane, they're coming to San Juan de Carolina. And I told him, I said, listen, you know, I explained, I introduced myself to him, I, you know, explained to him what was going on. And it must have been the universe because this guy was so nice. He said, don't worry. He said, I will make sure that all of your stuff gets on the truck, and when it's here, I'll call you so you can come down and I'll bring it up for you. Like, this stuff was heavy, right? There were some boxes like you can only send, like you have a weight limitation to get through the mail. And like, I kind of was like on the edge of all of them, you know, 14 of those boxes. But you know, that was one of my first signs that, you know what, you might be doing the right thing.

Yeah, right move.

Right. So flash forward, uh, 2 and a half, 3 years later, I've not really looked back. I don't think I've had one single day where I've regretted making this decision. And I'm so grateful to be someplace one, where I can live under the sun, and two, not only that I've embraced Puerto Rico, but it has also embraced me. It's also reached back out and hugged me and protected me and kept me safe. So to me, that was something small because it wasn't the first time I moved, right? I moved more times than I can count, but it was the first time I moved with the intention of started to live my life differently, and it has stuck. And it is why I want to encourage people to think about what it is that's going on in your life that's, one, preventing you from experiencing joy, what's blocking your happiness. And just start with the small stuff, the low-hanging fruit. I am not encouraging anyone to leave their life, quit your job.

You got bills to pay, you got to work. And it's like I could almost hear the listener And there's like, I can't pack up and leave and move to Puerto Rico, you know. I gotta— I got a husband, or I got a wife, or I got kids, or I got a job, right? You know, I— it's like I can almost hear all of those valid fears, but just fear nonetheless. Absolutely. And if I'm hearing you right, what you're saying is, is that you could build a portion of the type of life that you want to live, but not— you don't have to go all the way to that level in order to start living the way you want to.

Eat your elephant one spoonful at a time. Yeah, right. So it doesn't have to be something so drastic, but maybe something as small as, you know what, on the weekends I'm really just going to put my laptop away and be engaged in my family, right? Or, you know, the kids' softball game or hanging out with my girlfriends, whatever. But I'm not answering email, right? And you'll be surprised that just those simple changes to your lifestyle and how much fulfillment they can bring you when you commit to doing that work.

How important is it for people our age to really be able to learn how to work through those types of fears?

Well, I think it's important at any age, right? I wish I would have gotten the memo maybe 20 years ago.

Yeah.

I think for folks our age, it's important to unlearn our fear response, right? Because What is the acronym people pass around? Fear stands for Forget Everything and Run.

Yeah.

Right. And I like to go the opposite, which is Face Everything and Rise.

Yeah.

Right.

How about that?

For me, I have embraced fear on this point. It's where the gold lives. That is the hidden treasure. If you can work through that fear and you can manage it, right, and it does take work to learn how to manage it, you are going to come out on the other side having learned so much about you, the situation, and the process that when you keep repeating this, you're going to notice that your fear response doesn't have the strength emotionally as it used to before you started practicing leaning into the fear. And that's one of the things that I have to work with clients on to kind of help them understand It's okay to be afraid. That's there for a reason. It's there to protect you. So let's use that to our advantage. Let's lean into the fear and find out what we can learn so that if you're really committed to making the changes that you want, this ain't going to be the first time you deal with fear.

Yeah.

So get in the habit of exercising your fear response muscles so that you can use it to get the things that you want out of life.

That's a good segue to the next thing I was going to ask you. So Are you a proponent, or, or what do you think about that phrase, do it afraid? Should our focus be on doing the things that we need to do regardless of the fear, or should the focus lie more in getting to the root of why we're fearful in the first place, or a combination of both?

I think it's a little bit of both. Um, you have to accept that fear is just a natural part of life, right? So you're doing a lot of stuff afraid that you don't even think about.

Yeah, right. And like, you know, like this whole podcast, right?

Or you can start in a business, right? You know, you know, deciding that you're going to give up that six-figure salary and do what? You know, I had no income coming in at that point, and by the grace of God, I ended up, you know, going into a freelance consulting role. Literally, Camille, with those 14 boxes packed up in my apartment behind me, every time I was on a Zoom call, people saw boxes.

Wow.

Right. But if you're going to let that stop you, then just go ahead and accept that this is a life that you have and it's not going to be any different. But if you want to get beyond that, then the second part of that, which I said it's a little bit of both, is now you dig into that root cause of what's underlying your fear. Right. And for some of us, that might be going to therapy. Right. For some of us, that may be getting a coach. For some, it may be relying on your your inner circle, to help you just uncover and discover things about yourself. But for me, the beauty of all of it is, as you are working through fear, you are growing, you are learning about who you are and what you can achieve. So for me, that's why I think it is so important not to, uh, you know, just drop everything and run, but to really lean into it and see what you can get out of it that you can use to your advantage.

Awesome. Now we, we got to take a quick break. But when we come back, what I want you to start thinking about and be ready to answer is, when you work with your clients, what have you found to be true, that they're more fearful of the known, what they know they have to give up, or the unknown? Which are they more fearful of? You guys stay tuned. We're going to be back in a minute and you'll get to hear Dr. Murillo's response to that.

Stay tuned.

Life of the Half is sponsored in part by the award-winning firm CDJ Associates. With CDJ Associates, bringing on a consultant to help pull your business together doesn't have to be overwhelming and stressful. Our firm is dedicated to bringing innovative, out-of-the-box creativity to every single project, creating dynamic, doable solutions for every client. Our unique expertise in branding, PR, communications, and strategic planning will catapult your brand into brilliance and boost your bottom line. Contact our squad of gladiators today at info@cdjandassociates.com. Again, that's info@cdjandassociates.com. All right, well, welcome back everybody. As you know, I am here in the studio with Dr. Mario, who is a coach specifically for Gen Xers, and he helps them get over fear and live the life that they want to live now instead of waiting for retirement. And the question that I asked, um, Dr. Mario before the break is, um, kind of in, in working with your clients, um, have you found that they are more fearful of the unknown or are they more fearful of the known? What, what do you think?

Well, I would just, based on what I work with clients, it's more of the fear of the unknown. And but there's another piece that goes along with that, and I'll get to that in a second. But okay. You know, look, you're a human being, right? Not knowing where you're going is scary. There's no doubt about that. So the moment that you can acknowledge that and not make it as if you're somehow weird or you're out of the ordinary, that lowers the stakes for you. All right? That allows you to sit with whatever that fear might be regarding the unknown. But like I was talking about earlier, the more you walk in that space of fear and not knowing, the better able you're going to be able— the better you're able to manage it. But I also think that when we are trying to unpack that unknown, it's not necessarily just, I don't know where I'm going, but it's also, I'm afraid that I may not be successful. Yeah, right. The fear of failure prevents people from doing the simplest things, right? And I give you a really good example. So I'm here in, in, in on the island trying to learn Spanish. And it is one of the things I would probably say that has been one of the greatest challenges that I've encountered. That's after writing a dissertation, right? You know, but just the simplest things like, you know, going in the grocery store and asking where a particular food item or product is. Like, I found in the early days, like, literally paralyzed with opening up my mouth to say that in Spanish. Now, I'm not going to sell you a bill of false goods and tell you that I'm completely conversational and fluent in Spanish, because that is not the truth. But what has changed is that I'm not afraid of failing. I know that when I open my mouth, I'm not going to sound like a native, right? I'm going to jack some stuff up, right?

But I bet y'all walk out of here with some potatoes, though.

Exactly. I'm coming out of here with what I came for, right?

Right.

And what I found is that people are willing to help you. They're like, oh, you mean this thing? And I'm like, okay, guess what? Now I learned something, right? And that's what I was trying to emphasize before the break, is that you're not going to learn if you're afraid to fail. Failure is invaluable. It is that hidden treasure that you have to find in order to pay finance, or, you know, just commit to what it is that you want to do. You've got to have that failure experience in order to succeed. I know, I knew that as a teacher, but it's very different in a personal type of experience in your life, right? You know, I submit chapter 1 of this dissertation, it came back all marked up. Well, guess what? I make the changes and I move forward. The same thing applies in life. You make the changes and you move forward. So I think that when we think about that fear of the unknown, it really is, I'm not going to be successful, I'm going to fail. And additionally, what are people going to think about me?

Yeah.

Right.

And I know one of the things that paralyzes me is my issue with perfectionism. And it's something I own it. It's like I have this thing. It's like it needs to be polished. It needs to be professional. It needs to be. This, that. It's like, no, I couldn't just throw up— throw a podcast together. I had to go hire a producer, massive branding, and, you know, it's just, right, just extra. And, um, I know to some degree that it has, um, it has helped because I use that perfectionism when working with my clients, but I do understand that it also paralyzes me.

Yes.

Do you find that that's also an issue with your clients too?

Yes. Right. So I think this is where we really do get into the Gen X stuff. Right. I think somehow, somewhere along the lines, right, we have been programmed that if it's not perfect, don't show up.

Yep.

Right. And you fast forward that to now, you know, Gen Xers who have raised kids who now are raising— and they're Gen Xers who are now grandparents. And we see that whole everybody gets a trophy kind of thing.

Oh my gosh.

But I know that that paralysis that comes from perfectionism is detrimental in a few ways right now. Let's frame this like from just a coaching or podcasting perspective. If you spend a whole lot of time trying to cross all the T's and dot all the I's, your podcast is not going to come out, right? All right. Or that coaching website that you're trying to create is not going to be published. You're going to have to be okay with jacking some stuff up. It's just the way that you're going to learn. I didn't know how to build a website. I didn't know how to build a website. I had to go on with it.

My first website. Oh my God. I hope it never resurfaces again. It was horrible. I mean, looking at it now, Right. Yeah.

But when you reflect on that, you think about that process you went through, what you gained on the other side of that, and most importantly, now what you're taking to the next situation. I think that that is the part that we have to think about when we get tied up into that perfectionism, that if it's perfect, I'm not going to learn anything.

Oh, oh, that's what's—

what's the point, right? If you can do all these things perfectly What's the point of doing it?

So how did you end up specifically targeting Gen Xers? I mean, outside of the fact that that's kind of your generation.

Yeah.

How did you end up determining, you know what, I need to target on Gen X?

You know, one, I was just surrounded by so many things, uh, that were commonalities in the way that I thought, the way that I felt, the way that I behaved as it applies to engaging with other Gen Xers. But for me, it's more about this kind of being that lost or forgotten generation. And I don't really buy that we are forgotten. Right. And I think for most Gen Xers, we don't give a rip about whether or not we're forgotten.

First of all, that's a— and I always say that we're not. We're just stealth. We're just lowkey.

Exactly. Under the radar. We've been flying around under the radar. Think about it. We're the original latchkey kids. We are badass, right? We were at home when our parents were at work. When we got out of school at 2, 3 o'clock in the afternoon, wasn't nobody home. We had a key. You go in there, you lock the door, don't answer it, right? If they don't have a key, they're not supposed to be in here.

That's right.

You do your chores, and when I get home, that's when you can go out and play.

That's right.

So we've been on this path of kind of self-sustainability and self-fulfillment. But as adults, we've moved into a little bit of the in-between because now we're thinking about our parents who are older and aging. And I don't have children, but if I had children, I'd be stuck between elderly parents and young kids.

I have plenty if you—

I'm good.

I'm good.

I'm just letting you know if you need anything. I think that ship has sailed, Camille. But, you know, getting so deeply entrenched in all of that, it's easy to forget about yourself and your own life. Truth, right? And that's what I wanted to remind people of, right? I wanted to remind y'all of that time when we were back in the house by ourselves, just being the boss. Yeah, right. It's totally impossible— it's totally possible for you to enjoy some of the things that you want in life without having to wait 10 and 20 and 30 years. So I didn't see that in the space of Gen X. You know, there was a lot of stuff out there about how to, you know, handle your finances, you know, what to do when your parents get, you know, get, get sick, uh, you know, that first step of sending that first kid off to college.

College. Yes.

You can throw a, a dart at Google and land on anything there. But what I didn't see was how do you get the best out of your life at 45 when you've got all these things going on? What is it that you are not with, that you're missing, that you keep dreaming about, that you keep thinking about, that you cannot give up, even if it's just in your head? What is that idea? What is that style of life? Where is it that you want to be? And that's what was missing. So I wanted to get to really speak to this particular generation to say, look, look at all the stuff that we've done so far, and we're still doing great stuff. There's no reason why you can't have what you want out of life, that, you know, you have to sacrifice this and that in order to have the things that you want. I think there's room on your plate for everything.

Now, as it relates to courageous moves and working through fear, what, what do the, the kids, as I call them, the kids, the millennials, the Gen Zers, what do they get right about that and what do they get wrong?

You know, poor millennials, they get beat up on all the time. Y'all need to leave leave these kids alone. Let me tell you what I love about millennials, and it's their courage, right? They're not waiting until they're 40 and 50 to tell you, no, I'm not gonna do something.

But here's the thing, Dr. Mario, we taught them that, right? It's like I birthed millennials. I taught you how to be badass, and now I got the issues and you're amazing. You stole my life force. Well, so they get that right. They get—

and I like the fact that they're saying no to 60-hour work weeks. I like the fact that they say no, I'm not working in your physical office, right? And no, I'm not going to be on your Zoom calls all day, right? They have things that they enjoy doing, and the wonderful thing about this generation is they have learned how to monetize that, right? So if I like, you know, bubble gum Right. I can create a YouTube channel, a TikTok, you know, everything that I can all around Bubblegum. And it is astounding to see, right, how people gravitate to these things. And it creates, you know, success for some of these generations. But I say go for it. They have already figured out life is short. Not going to be sitting in somebody's office behind a computer. For 40 years, and then you give me some janky old little watch to say thank you for your service, right? And, you know, 5 years later I've got some terminal health condition. Now I can't even go out and do what I want to do. So I don't think that they're really interested in this whole idea of delayed gratification that we have been taught.

Now, what do they get wrong?

Now you really want to make me sound like an old person. Well, I think I think it's finesse, right? I think that when you get to a certain age, you've got wisdom. And I've seen this happen a couple of times in my consulting work. I work on projects, and a lot of the staff or the colleagues that I work with, they're young millennials. They're eager, but they don't know how to finesse a situation, right? It's almost like knowing when to speak and not to speak, reading the cues, understanding how to ask your questions subtle without hitting someone over the head with a hammer. It's just those life things they just have not gotten yet. And the absence of those kind of puts them to be perceived as being harsh or abrasive or too candid, which I don't think they have any ill intent. They just don't know how to package what it is that they're trying to do.

That's good, that's good. Um, now questions that, um, I try to ask every guest. Um, first one: what are you reading or what do you recommend? So I'm an avid reader, so I literally— yeah, want to know.

I read a lot, Camille. I mean, I read for coaching, I read for consulting, but a lot of stuff that I'm reading right now is just to improve my Spanish. And I'm reading a book called Los que dicen ay bendito, and that translates to Those who Say Ay Bendito. So ay bendito is a Spanish expression, and I'm not sure if it's particular to Puerto Rico because I hear it all over Spanish-speaking countries, but the book is really about the colloquialisms that you hear on the island. So I was saying a little bit earlier about I'm having a hard time with the Spanish and learning it is because there are so many colloquialisms and ways that the language is spoken here that makes it challenging to understand if you don't know what you're listening for.

Okay.

So there's a lot of color in the language. Now, I'm from the South, and we have— we got bless his little heart, right? Is dumb as a day is long. You know, we have all these little expressions, right? And when you don't know what those things are, you're lost in the conversation.

True.

So it's more of a kind of like a reference that when I hear something I haven't heard, I go and look for it in the book, but also just kind of perusing it and making, you know, looking to see, huh, you know, I never knew that that's what this, this, this meant. Because when you're kind of early in your Spanish learning process, you're translating word for word, and these don't translate that way.

Ah, that makes sense. Now, what book do you recommend?

Well, it depends on what you are doing.

Okay.

Um, for those— I will say that a few months ago— well, actually, I'm sorry, last year, for the first time, I actually hired a coach, uh, to help me not only with some business stuff but personal things as well. And he gave me this book book. Um, I can't remember the, the author's name. It was Mike Kim, I think, and the title of the book was, uh, You Are the Brand. Um, it seems— I think it's a very popular book. And he take— Mike Kim takes you through your— how to develop a personal brand. And I was reading this, I think I probably got like all the way to the end of the book and just realized that, you know, yeah, I read this in the context of, you know, providing a service as a coach or having a business. But this is what life is now. You are a brand. You go to interview for a position, you're taking your brand of work and skills and style with you into that interview. So I would recommend that for anyone who is thinking about self-promotion, whether it's through services that you provide or a product. But even just to think about it in the context of career and what it means for your personal brand in the world of work and how you want to show up there.

That's great. Now think about Dr. Mario at 14 years old. I know, right? It's like, think about that little boy, 14 years old, maybe 9th grade-ish, maybe 8th, 9th grade. Camille D. Jamerson. I know, right? Give me 3 words that describe him.

A hot mess.

Wow.

So let me tell you what was going on at 14. Okay, so 14, this is 9th grade, right? So I'm going from 8th to 9th grade, and what a lot of people don't know about me unless you grew up with me is that I was, uh, overweight as a child. Most of the men on my dad's side of the family, we have these this thing is, you know, we're obese in adolescence. And somewhere overnight it all melted out off, and suddenly I was a freshman in high school. And the attention that I got, both positive and negative, I wasn't really ready to deal with that, right? Because people were expecting me to show up as, you know, chunky little fat Mario. Yeah, with his little, you know, bass drum marching around on the band. But I was actually skinny spelled kind of hot Mario. Um, but I didn't know how to make sense of that, so I was really confused. I felt awkward. I felt, you know, green. Like, I just didn't know anything. I didn't know anything about girls. I didn't know anything about dating. Um, it was just a whole— it was a hot mess situation.

So what— I love this. So what would you tell that little boy now though?

There was nothing wrong with you, boy. Everybody's a hot mess.

You are right. Everybody, everybody crazy.

The secret is you were feeling that way and everybody around you were probably feeling that way and nobody was talking about it.

How about that? Well, Dr. Mario, we're going to close out here. Um, I want you to share with the Life at the Half family just kind of where people can find you, what you're offering right now, and you know, if they want to hook up with you or your businesses.

Sure, sure.

You for a minute.

My, my one-stop shop for folks who want to connect with me is my website, and it's www.officehoursdrmario.com. And that's Dr. abbreviated without the period. Um, I just created a new evaluation tool to help Gen Xers know where they may need to make shifts and changes in their lives. So it's a short 10-question quiz that reveals some of the areas in life where change or transition may be warranted. So that's for free. You can find that on my website and take that quiz, and it'll give you some insight into where is some of this low-hanging fruit that I can work on now as I'm working up to retirement, so that when that time comes, or even prior to that time, I can make that shift and know exactly where I want to be.

That's good.

Quiz is free, costs you nothing to take it. And if you want more support, there are resources that are embedded in there that will help you to continue thinking about how you want to create that vision of the life that you really want to live.

And can you give that website just one more time?

Sure. It's www.officehoursdrmario. That's all one word. Dr. is abbreviated, Dr. with no period.

Got it. Awesome. Thank you so much for being on the show. Thank you. Oh, it's been such a pleasure. So fun. And, and more so even for being just a beacon to our generation and sharing so openly about your journey and helping others in Gen X kind of craft a new life for themselves. I really appreciate you coming on the show.

It's been my pleasure. I, I told you I was so happy to find you.

Yes, same, same, same. Well, hopefully we'll connect again and do some big things in the future.

I would love that.

Awesome. Well, everybody, thank you, fam, for tuning in today. Was that not fun? Oh my gosh. I truly hope that we said something that— or shared something that sparked or renewed a new infusion of courage in you to begin to take a hold of your life and to begin to work for the life that you want now and later. Right? So until next time, I want you to continue to take midlife by the neck. And we will be right here cheering you on here at Life at the Half.