3 Body Language Habits That Make People Dislike You

What's up, everybody? I am Charlie from Charisma on Command. And today I want to do a breakdown of charismatic gesticulations, specifically what to do with your hands, because this is one that people don't realize sabotages you without you even realizing it. So I want to start with good examples and then get to bad. And there's three specific things to keep in mind. First thing I want you to do with Chris Evans here is pay attention to how he reveals his palms.

Did you move into your home, your family? Did you live?

I mean, kind of. I did. You know, I were growing up. I do spend a lot of time back.

So first thing to notice is that his palm is open and available for the audience to see from the get go. And he continues to do this. Just a little bit of nuance here. This is not a hard and fast rule, but if you place your palm out and down, people tend to understand this as more authoritarian, like you're giving a command. If you extend your palm out and up, people see this more as a request, like you are inviting them to do things. In either case, you are better off revealing your palms than not. From an evolutionary perspective, what this shows people is that you have nothing to hide. You are not trying to do them harm. This is true across many, many cultures. So definitely keep this in mind in.

Massachusetts and my mother, you know, my mother and my sister, my other sister and their family, they all still live in the same house that we grew up in.

So there is the first run through the clip, Same clip. What I want you to pay attention to this time is tension in the fingers and wrists. This is a big no, no. A lot of people have floppy wrists, floppy fingers. If you have either of those, you actually come across as more flimsy and less in command. So just pay attention how there is some muscular tension without feeling robotic in the hands and wrists.

Live.

I mean, kind of. I did, you know, I do spend a lot of time back in Massachusetts and my mother.

You know what you'll notice this tension causes. The fingers will be separate from each other at times or together at times. But it allows him to pause and not have the wrist just completely collapse under its. So you'll see motions and then pauses because there is muscular tension there.

My mother and my sister, my other sister and their family, they all still live in the same house that we grew up in. So when I go home, you know, I'm still in the same house that I, you know, I was.

So that might not look too impressive right now, but I want to go to another clip and you'll see what a big difference it can make. This is a bad example of what to do with your hands. And you notice right from the get go, we've got crossed hands on the lap. So the first thing, pay attention. One for no use of like making the palms available. Second for flimsy fingers and wrists. And then third tip today is to avoid ticks. You're going to see that Jonah has a tick where he constantly touches his tie. He's moving.

Yeah. He was watching his own movie.

He was watching his own. He was dying. Dying, laughing.

He couldn't get enough of it, man.

So this isn't to say that Jonah isn't telling a good story or making people laugh. We're actually talking just about hand gesticulations today. So focus on that. But not. He has not yet revealed his palms and he will do very little of that.

I love that story so much.

That's so good.

Another tie touch. I think there's even one or two more before the end of this.

He's the man.

You know, when we were writing the mike.

So pay attention to this. Contrast this with Chris Evans. Very open, available palms and strong fingers to see what Jonah has going on with his wrist, which is. It's kind of flimsy. It kind of just shakes there.

Writing the first treatment for the first one, the first thing we wrote on paper was we want the guy who wrote the police to play the police captain in our movie.

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.

When he said yes, you see what's going on with his fingers. He had this weird shape going on because there's not any really muscular tension going on in his fingers.

When he said yes. I grew up in la, like Magic Johnson and Ice Cube are my childhood.

And his wrist is bent backwards here. Again, it's great to show your palms, but if your wrist is bent, you actually come across as more flimsy heroes.

Yeah.

This was so cool. I probably annoyed him with every nwa, Ice Cube, Three Kings, Friday here.

He actually does a little bit better. He's got some tension going on in his wrist and his fingers.

Any question ever. But he's. He's the man.

He's good.

He destroys the movie. And I think we just read that Sony is. It was. You know, they test these movies before they go out. It's the highest.

To recap really quick, the things that you want to take from this video are one, reveal your palms, whether it's face up or face down. Two, have some tension in your wrist and in your fingers. And three, eliminate any ticks so that that you don't come across as nervous. If you've liked this video, and I hope you have, go ahead and subscribe to the channel. We've got lots more. Everything from eye contact, gesticulation, storytelling, from people who do it right and people who don't. So hope that you found this helpful, hope that you subscribe, and I look forward to seeing you again on the next video.