3 Habits That INSTANTLY Make You More Attractive

Today, we will be covering three traits that instantly make you more attractive. Now, this is attractive in the sense of your working life and your friendships, but also in the dating world, whether you are a guy or a girl. So we're just going to jump right into this one with the first enthusiasm. Now, enthusiasm is something that is probably the fastest way to be more charismatic across the board in any area of your life. And I got a very vivid lesson of this many years ago when I lived in Costa Rica. Now, at the time, I was doing my best to learn the language I was studying there. I was trying to integrate with my friends and adopt the culture and the mannerisms of everyone around me so that I could fit in. And I did a pretty good job. But I actually had a friend who came and visited, and he brought another friend. Now, this other friend was very unlike me. He was excited to be in Costa Rica, and he did try to speak Spanish. But more than really integrating, he was just interested in throwing his enthusiasm at people. He was excited to go to the beach. He was excited to learn about the country. He was excited to talk to everybody. And I watched him charm almost all of the friends that I had immediately made, whether they could understand him or not. And I thought, okay, well, that's just the people that I already know. Let's see what happens later. Later in the evening, we went out, and though we were underage in the States, we were able to go to a casino in Costa Rica. And we sat down, and there was a woman there who I'd seen before, and she was the type that was very beautiful and was always, always hit on by all of the customers, whether they were locals or where there were foreigners traveling. She'd seen it all. And now this friend saw her and said to me, oh, my gosh, her eyes are so beautiful. And I said, yeah, they are. I think she probably hears that a lot. He says, how do I tell her in Spanish? I start to tell him. He goes, it's okay, I got it. He walks right up to her with a big smile on his face, like he talked to everybody. And he says, ah, me amo misojos. And he has this big smile at the end of it. Now, if you don't speak Spanish or you can't speak terrible Spanish, that is, roughly translated, I love myself, my eyes. And I remember watching this woman crack up laughing at first and then speak to him probably for 20 minutes, despite the fact that she had a job to do. And at the time, we were young kids, we didn't really have any money. There was nothing else particularly impressive though he was a solid looking guy. It wasn't based on that because I had seen attractive wealthy men hit on her before. It was his enthusiasm. And this isn't just the dating world. Think in your life the people that you like spending time with, they are the ones that are happy to be there. So whenever possible, tap into what is wonderful that is going on around you and come from that place. There is a caveat which is if you try to be enthusiastic with just the singular aim of getting positive responses from people, it usually doesn't come across as congruent. Your body language doesn't match, your tonality doesn't match and it seems try hard like you're faking. So remember, tap into the things that you are genuinely enthusiastic. Spend time doing things that you really like doing and the people that you meet there when you will be ones that are naturally drawn to you. The second thing is decisiveness. We like people who make decisions. Now the problem here, where a lot of people get confused is we don't like people who steamroll everyone else on the path to making decisions. So what do you do? I saw this again during my time in Costa Rica. I had a friend who was the decisive type and we'd be sitting around planning what we were going to do for that evening. Should we go here? Should we eat here? Maybe we should just stay in. And when it became clear that not everybody was in consensus or there was nothing that was going to happen, you say, okay, everybody up. We're going to go to this restaurant, then we're going to go out dancing. And for that group that was exactly right because nobody had a strong opinion about what to do and it was just kind of banter going back and forth. That is what decisiveness looks like. Make decisions quickly for yourself. Make decisions quickly for a group that is stuck and isn't making a decision. Now in those cases where people genuinely do have a preference, don't steamroll them. This is the trouble that this particular friend sometimes ran into. And when he could butt heads with people, it wasn't his decisiveness, it was his ignoring of other people's opinions. So here's the rule. If there is a decision in your own life or that other people have not made and they're just kind of pitter pattering about, ask yourself, will I care about the outcome of this decision? What one week from now, if the answer is I won't really care where we go tonight, I'm going to have forgotten about it. Just Pick anything. Pick anything and do that. It's the way to live. People will be drawn to you, and you'll wind up trusting your gut much more. In those cases where people do have strong opinions, absolutely consider everyone's choice. You might not even be the ultimate one who makes a decision. In fact, most of the time, that can be the case. That's okay. But offer your decisive point of view clearly, as everyone is getting a chance to offer theirs. Don't be a waffler. This is a huge thing that people are alienated from. We like people who can decide. So the third thing, and appropriately, someone that I actually saw this week from a guy who was Latin, he was actually from Mexico, in this case is gesticulations. Now, I'd forgotten about this, but we were sitting, there was a number of Americans there. We were all talking. Oh, I hit the microphone. That's not good. We were all talking and he interrupted to speak. Now, not in a mean way, but I was instantly captivated by him and I didn't know why. And it occurred to me, when Americans speak, oftentimes we talk like this. We have our hands down, and even when we're telling a story, it's a little bit less animated. And when he was speaking, his hands were out. He was moving around like this. Every single point that he made corresponded to something he did. I was, oh, man, we used to make videos about this. Where did I let this go? So add gesticulations. Now, the natural question is, what types of gesticulations should I add? Great question. The answer tends to be ones that a, are not floppy. Right? This is like, if you're making these kind of floppy, wavy things, that tends to not inspire confidence. At the same time, if you're too robotic in nature, that's not going to work. So think comfortable. Tension. I'm not squeezing my hands as I do this, but there is tension. And they're not just waving around like this. Secondly, you want to show your palms fairly often. You can, of course, make gesticulations that have the back of your hands, but if it gets too long where you're going like this. And I did a video with Mark Zuckerberg at the hearing, and in the way he often speaks, this can feel guarded. Even if I'm going wide, if I'm covering up, it feels like I have secrets when I do this. It indicates that I have nothing to hide on a subconscious level. So add some of those gesticulations. I'll also throw some videos in that discuss this in finer detail. So I hope that you have enjoyed this. If you find that you are having a hard time with the enthusiasm part, we have other videos on being self amusing and generating. I look forward to seeing you next week. And also let me know in the comments what sort of people you would like me to break down. I'm going through my list, I've knocked off a whole bunch of them. But I'm curious what is interesting for you today. So let me know in the comments and I look forward to seeing you next week. Sa.