3 Ways To Be a Little Happier Every Day

A few months back, I made a video on a breakup I had. And ever since then, I've been very interested in the specific actions, not just the mindsets, but the actions that lead to feeling happier. Because at the time, feeling happy was tough for me. It was something that had always come easy. And all of a sudden I just couldn't tap into it. So I tried dozens of different exercises and really settled on three that were head and shoulders above the rest in terms of immediately changing the way that I felt. So whether or not you're struggling with happiness today, or you would just like to feel a little bit happier every day, because why not? I want to share these exercises with you because they are truly powerful. First off, create space for your brain to subconsciously solve problems. Now, I gotta explain that, because what a lot of people don't realize is that we spend a lot of our time engaged in active problem solving. We're thinking about the future, we're thinking about the past, there's some kind of problem we want to solve. Or we're just passively absorbing media, really, Right? Whether it's from your computer screen or your phone, wherever you're being stimulated in some way, or you're directing your brain. What we don't realize is that our brains sometimes work best when left to their own devices, when we just give them space to unwind. And I realized this because when I was going through the breakup, I'm a writer, and one of the first things I did was like, gotta write out my feelings, get rid of them, right? That's helpful. But what I didn't realize was gonna happen, and the reason I've continued free writing since is that I started solving problems. I didn't realize that I had, like, at the time, I'd go into a free writing thing and I'd come out with some sort of business solution for charisma on command. Or I'd realize, I'd be like, you know what? I haven't done jiu jitsu in a while. And that's really bothering me because I said that that was important to me. In any event, what I started realizing is that we have these subconscious pebbles in our shoe, if you will. And while they don't always bubble up to conscious level, they bother us, they weigh on us. So in giving yourself time to realize what those are and then solve them through something like free, which, if you don't know what it is, it's just taking 10 minutes or so to write about 750 words, three pages. There's applications that I'll link to that you can do it. That gives your subconscious brain permission to say, hey, we gotta deal with this stuff, and then fix it. And it's incredible how much it helps. I really recommend free writing, but if you're not a writer, you can also take a long walk. You can go for a run. You can do traditional meditation. A lot of these things can help tremendously. So that's the first one. The second piece and the third piece are related to gratitude. Because in just about every credible scientific study of happiness, gratitude ranks among the top things that you can do to feel happier. But there's not a lot of good exercises for actually doing it. It's just write down five things that you're grateful for. And I found that that wasn't really connecting with me. What connected with me was as really horrible as it sounds, was imagining the worst case scenario was in negative gratitude. So instead of just saying, I'm thankful for my health, I would say, imagine that you went to the doctors today and you walked in and he did tests and he said, I'm sorry, we just looked at your results and it appears like you have cancer and it's likely to be terminal. And then I would sit with that. Or instead of just saying I'm thankful for living with my friends and spending time with my friends, I'd say, okay, right now my friends are abroad. What if their plane crashed and they were gone? Like, that creates a visceral fear in me. And I would sit with that for 30 seconds a minute whenever play through. Like, I know this sounds really morbid, but, like, the funeral and what I would say, and that would take me to a place of when I stopped and I went, I'm thankful to live with my friends where, holy cow, that feels amazing. And not only does the gratefulness sink in, but all of a sudden, all of your other problems, whether it's a breakup, something going on with your business, or somebody's being mean to you, they seem so petty. You're training your brain to really put things in perspective. You don't want to do this every minute of every day. I'm not asking you to constantly do this, but for one moment a day, as you're doing these exercises to do this, I found it's really helped me tap into honest gratitude. And then the third thing, once I get there and I'm like, wow, I'm so. Like, things are amazing. I'll take it to the next level and go like, not only is it my friends, not in a plane crash, But I get to live with them, I get to hang out with them, I get to do all this cool stuff. Then when I'm feeling really good, I extend that gratitude to people that I especially am feeling envious of. And to give a quick example of someone that I might feel envious of, I love music. I've been playing guitar for 10, 12 years. I just started learning piano and I've been trying to sing for like three, three years now. And I've moved from horrible, screeching terrible to eh, mediocre. That means that when I see people that seem to do it effortlessly, especially when they're younger and they break onto the scene, there's a moment of, I like that song. But man, f that guy, like, screw him. It's just not fair. And what that does is that sort of thought pattern can become habit and you can start to see it in other areas of life. So rooting it out is going to help you be much more happy. And what I'll do here is go. Okay, take someone that I really like his music, but I'm jealous. Sean Mendez, kid. Sync's great. I'll go. You know what? That's amazing that he gets to travel the world and express himself musically for so many people. That his full time job is to just get better and better and better at that. That is amazing. That's so cool for him. Or if I see someone that has anything right, you know, it doesn't have to be someone that I'm jealous of. Right now my friends are traveling. I don't want to travel, but I can go. That's really great for them that they get to travel. They've been wanting to do this for so long. You train yourself, you do five things that you're grateful for and the opposite, but then five things that other people have that you don't have a reason to be grateful for. But just try to tap into that gratefulness for them anyway. It can feel hard at first, but go through this practice and what you become is really incredibly charismatic. This is tough for me, but if you can really be the guy or the girl who is out there and is genuinely happy when good things happen to other people, like filled to the brim, man. That's the kind of person other people want to be around. And it just gives you so much more happiness in the world to tap into and have yourself. So I hope that you guys do these things. If you want to roll them all into one concrete thing that takes 10, 20 minutes, it's go to the apps the description and do your free writing. That's just, you know, let yourself write. Brain dump. Get things out, solve some problems. Then at the end, do two or three minutes of this negative gratitude where you're only going to write down five things, but you're going to sit, actually, and you're going to think about, man, what would the opposite of this be? And really associate with that. And then be grateful for the things that you have. And then when you're feeling good, you're like, man, my life is so. For not only these bad things aren't happening, but that I wasn't born in the fifth century. There's just so much to be grateful for, for just about every person in the world, especially those of us who can watch, have leisure time to watch YouTube. Then you go and you spread that gratitude to other people. It takes about 20 minutes, 10, 20 minutes a day. And if you do that, you will find that you condition yourself to be happier all the time. So I hope that you guys have found this helpful. If you have, make sure to subscribe to the channel. We've got tons of videos like these. Happiness is a pet project of mine that I'll definitely be doing more. But how to learn faster. We do charisma breakdowns of the world's most charismatic people. So subscribe and that way you'll never miss a video. And of course, I hope that you enjoy this video, hope that you guys go out and apply some of this stuff, at least for today, and I will look forward to seeing you in the next video.