4 Creepy Habits That Make You Look Desperate

No one teaches you how to flirt, which is a shame, because it means that sometimes, even with the best of intentions, you can come across as creepy. In fact, it's more common than you might think. And especially if you like someone, you do not want that to be the case. So in this video, you're going to learn four common ways that you might be creeping your flirt out without even realizing it, and what you can do to adjust so that you come across as cool, confident, and suave. First off, remember the Goldilocks rule. But when it comes to eye contact, not too much and not too little. Now, we all know what too much eye contact looks like. It's when a guy sees a girl and just stares at her. Or worse, when he gets right up in her face and invades her personal space. You probably know not to do that. But what most people don't realize is that too little eye contact can be just as uncomfortable. Approaching someone from behind is usually going to freak them out. Even worse if it's on the dance floor. Now, you need to get this just right. And here's how you you make eye contact and hold for long enough to smile at this person. If she glances away, no big deal. But if she smiles back, you can consider that an invitation to go speak with her. Just make sure not to do this too many times without actually approaching her. Otherwise she may think, why is this person staring at me and not saying anything? Best is to usually approach within the first one to three times you actually make eye contact. Now, the second common way that you might inadvertently come across as creepy is by laying on the compliments a little too thick. You know, when you hear someone say something like, oh my gosh, you're just so beautiful. Like, wow, I don't even know. It's like you fell from heaven. It gets a little bit cringey, right? An easy way to fix that scenario is by combining sincere compliments that aren't over the top with a joke to ease the tension. And this works because when someone over compliments you say someone at work who might want a promotion or an intern, it feels like they want something from you. That compliment builds tension and it doesn't get released. The same thing occurs socially, but if instead you say something sincere and then playfully tease the person, that releases the tension. For instance, you might say something like, I'm really having an awesome time talking to you. Too bad that you're a Patriots fan and we can never hang out again. That allows the compliment to land without building unnecessary discomfort because the person laughs at the end. And that takes us to our next point. The third most common way that guys come across as being a little bit too creepy is with touch. Again, the Goldilocks rule applies here. Too heavy or too light can both be bad. Now the first is obvious. For instance, a guy grabbing someone's arm to get their attention. Now she's going to be startled, physically intimidated, and have her guard up. As you can imagine, she's not going to be too pleased to talk to him. But the opposite can be bad too. For instance, if you're taking a picture with someone that you might like and doing the hover hands, or if you're giving butt out hugs if you're trying to flirt with that person, this discomfort, this strangeness with physical contact can be a turn off. Instead, create some kind of a physical connection with one to three second touches, like resting your hand on theirs or briefly touching their shoulder. Or at least a non butt out hug when you're greeting them. This gives them a chance to reciprocate if they like you back without crossing the line. Oprah Winfrey does this incredibly well, and you can see more of her particular style in the video we did on her linked below. Finally, a surprisingly common way that women often get creeped out by men is when they make them feel trapped without realizing it. So in social settings like bars or clubs, men might make the mistake of trapping women by physically blocking their path to an exit. Perhaps they're approaching a woman with her back to the bar, or they sit at the outside of a booth while she's sitting on the inside, pinning her between an immovable wall and themselves. Now, men don't often realize that they're doing this. Their physical size can be intimidating to women and they don't know what that feels like. Not to mention that at the onset, you're a stranger to this person. She doesn't know your intentions. So instead, to make women feel comfortable in these sorts of situations, position yourself so that you're the one against the wall. Let her sit on the outside of the booth. The unconscious sense that she could leave whenever she wants, which is true, will actually make her more comfortable and more likely to want to stick around. Now, these are all super simple and quick fixes that will make a huge difference to prevent creepiness from ever occurring. But if you want to actually exude confidence attractiveness, I highly recommend checking out Models by Mark Manson. It covers the fundamental mindsets that lead to you being more attractive without having to change who you are. In fact, it's all about being more attractive by being more authentically yourself. And it's probably the best primer that I can think of on the topic of flirting and dating. And you can check it out today for free courtesy of this video's sponsor, Audible. When you go to audible.com charisma or text charisma to 500500 you will get a free 30 day trial of Audible including one free audiobook and in this case I would definitely recommend models. You also get two Audible originals which are titles that are exclusive to Audible. And if you decide to stay on, you get an audiobook every month after that, which makes for an excellent chance to learn while you work out or you're on your way to work. Basically, time that might have been under optimized or wasted can go towards becoming the best version of yourself. So I would definitely recommend checking out models if flirting or dating or even being happier in a new relationship is important to you. And whenever I recommend this, people seem to love it. So I'm happy to be able to offer it to you for free with your 30 day trial of audible@audible.com charisma or texting charisma to 500 500. Either way, I want to thank Audible for making this animated video possible. These aren't easy to do. Also thank you to the super talented Zeno, Guillerme, Ella and Cody for making this animation come alive. This is content we've touched on before, but it got this amazing fresh coat of paint thanks to their hard work. And of course thank you to Audible for sponsoring. I hope that you've enjoyed this and I look forward to seeing you in the next one.