5 Body Language Mistakes That Make People Distrust You

This is hard. So I was on the Internet today, specifically YouTube, and I noticed something interesting. As I scrolled through the feed, I saw that there were several videos with Bill Gates in them with a lot of views, but with a terrible upvote ratio like in the Red. And as I click on those videos, I see that they either have comments turned off or the comments are absolutely awful. So, for instance, here I am on his Instagram right now. Are you reading this comments while having those babies? Blood as dinner. So Satan showed what he did, and he said, today there's no superiority. So a lot of Satan, the world says no. Down with the system. The false prophet despises free lunch. No to Bill Gates. We do not consent. And if you do it on YouTube, there's a lot saying that he's the Antichrist, devil, Satan incarnate. If you're interested in the specifics of why people are saying this, that's on you. That's not what I want to analyze in this video. So what interests me the most is what is it that Bill is doing that make him so hard to trust? For a lot of people, I really am just interested in what we can learn from a charisma perspective about why the. These rumors stick to him. I think that what is most upsetting to people, actually, is the way that Bill Gates portrays himself has to do with his body language, the way that he speaks. And we're gonna dive into that, but let's just start right here. So here's Bill Gates on Ellen, so.

Happy to have you here. This is the first time having you on. So thanks. So I know you were.

I'm gonna play that back. Here he is, Bill Gates. First time he meets Ellen, she says, great to have you here. First time I've seen you. And he does this.

Happy to have you here. This is the first time having you on. So thanks. So I know you were. You were nervous.

So right off the bat, he seems to be uncomfortable, which I think if you look up people like Mark Zuckerberg and you think back to his Senate hearing, I'm seeing some commonalities here.

Thank you for doing this. And how is the family? How are you?

Well, I think everybody's lives have been completely upended by this social isolation that we're doing to, you know, get the disease numbers way, way down. So a completely different routine.

He smiles as he's talking about very, very depressing statistics. And people, I think, take this to as a disconcerting thing, whether or not they logically register it or not. That Makes them not trust him. It's been termed Duper's delight. The Duper's delight is when somebody smiles in this particular. In this situation where they shouldn't smile because they're getting away with a lie. And unfortunately, I think that can often be confused with any sort of smile because someone is uncomfortable. It's also completely possible that when Bill Gates is smiling at these awkward times, that what he is is just socially uncomfortable. Or perhaps earlier in his life, he didn't emote at all and was told, hey, man, you need to smile more. So now every time that he's uncomfortable, he starts smiling more. And this is something that I'm saying. He's just. He doesn't seem to have picked up on a lot of the unspoken social cues that a lot of people get.

My question is, you warned everybody about this in a ted talk in 2015. You predicted this would happen.

And again, so what we're seeing, we got this shrug going on right here. So you predict that this was happening. You would expect someone in this kind of circumstance to recognize that this is a really sad thing, even if they didn't feel sad themselves. Show that in their mannerisms, their body language. And you don't often see that from Bill Gates.

Well, the goal of the 2015 talk and the detailed article over the last five years, the foundation and others, he.

Says a lot now. I'll say you'll see me on this video. Everybody says. But when somebody is as smart as Bill Gates is and we see them hesitant in their speech, it communicates that they might be trying to hide something. And that doesn't necessarily mean, of course, that that is true. You're gonna see something else here, which is where he swallows. So take a look at this.

Even a vaccine, all of those things dramatically faster than what we're going through.

So everybody swallows. They have to came across the wrong way at some point. If you're speaking and you start to get a lot of saliva in your mouth, of course you have to swallow. When you someone do that, it is showing you that whatever's going on, they're probably not totally comfortable with because they're speaking cadence and their breathing is such that they can't time the swallow in a way that isn't in the middle of a sentence.

I did make investments in things like a coalition called CEPI that will.

Here he is again just a few seconds later. This is. This is part of what I'm talking about. Swallowing once during conversation. Okay, maybe you had too much saliva in your mouth twice within about 15 seconds. That is a fairly strong indicator of discomfort. But it also can mean lying. You don't know what you're gonna say. You're choking back the truth. All of those things can be associated with correctly, by the way, with swallowing. But this is part of the problem, I think, with reading body language and with the way that people make assumptions about other people. It's that one, you cannot one to one, take any sort of body language cue and associate it with lying or not lying. It's very, very tough to read into this. And the reason is because there's many different reasons why people might do one thing or another. Discomfort, nervousness can very, very easily be conflated with deceptiveness. And we see the same sort of thing in Mark Zuckerberg. If you look back at his Senate speech, the way that he sipped the water was just strange and uncomfortable. You see the same thing with Bill Gates. Both he and Mark Zuckerberg appear uncomfortable in their own skin. So you take that, you take the fact that he's got these strange body language things going on, the fact that he's very introverted. You add to this that we're in a climate where billionaires are being reviled right now. Rightly or wrongly, they are. They are not public friend number one. That's not to say that being a billionaire is immediately going to be the thing that makes people hate Bill. I think if you take a look at somebody like Mark Cuban. So here's a handful of Cuban.

He wore the mask present, baby. He's a businessman all the time.

So right off the bat here, you see him just being much more comfortable in his own skin. He's loud, he's gregarious. He's got an amazing tan line going on here. But he makes Kevin Hart laugh straight off the bat.

Poorly. Basketball.

Amen.

I think I could probably go on.

And you see right there, what you don't get from Bill are those encouraging smiles as you say the types of things, oh, good to have you. He loves basketball. And Mark Cubitt is. Amen. He's all into it. He's just immediately got that vibe of a big smile. He's. He's comfortable in his own skin. It makes him much more trustworthy and likable.

I love that you didn't bring. That you didn't bring the black guy from the show here. I got questions for him. Damon's a good dude, man. He is a good dude, but he don't buy enough. He buys nothing. He buys nothing at all.

Nothing.

I want to I want to know what's in his account. I don't think he should be on the show anymore. No, you gotta have David.

David's my guy. I'm watching Mark Cuban. I'm realizing one of the other things that, just to summarize that Bill Gates is missing is the positive effusive emotion. So you see Mark Cuban here really compliment Damon from Shark Tank. You see him laughing unrestrained. You see him with just a big smile as he is talking to Kevin. He seems to be really enjoying himself. And Bill Gates always seems much more reserved. If you don't see those positive emotions from people. Again, I'm not saying that this is appropriate. I am saying that this tends to be the initial thin slice that people might have of you is one just not going to be one where they're super attracted to you, even in a platonic way. But second, that it does come across as a little bit less trustworthy if you can't enjoy your time and laugh with someone. He really reminds me and some of the reception that he is getting reminds me a lot of Mark Zuckerberg. And I want to look just in terms of these disconcerting small facial tics that he tends to have. You can see Zuckerberg has ones that just. They're not evil. They just don't line up with what you might expect or hope.

Senator? Yes. There will always be a version of Facebook that is free. It is our mission to try to help connect everyone around the world and to bring the world close.

So Bill isn't as bad as Mark here, but Mark has almost no movement in his dynamics, meaning the volume of what he is saying or in the pitch of what he is saying. And so when you do that and you are talking about what your mission is, when people are passionate about something, they tend to get louder or they may vary their dynamics or they might speak with a tone that is goes. It has a little bit more to it. It goes up and it goes down. So here's what we get instead from Mark when he's talking about his mission.

Version of Facebook that is free. It is our mission to try to help connect everyone around the world and to bring the world closer together. In order to do that, we believe that we need to offer a service that everyone.

So when you see that from someone, what you know is that they have likely practiced what they are saying, which is the case. And what gets read into that additionally is that they do not mean what they are saying. So, interestingly, he is much more likable when talking about things that he is passionate about.

So there's this one, it's a fiction book called Infinite Jest. But I'm trying to decide if I start it or not because I watched the movie the end of the tour. I loved it. David Foster Wallace comes is a super interesting broad.

So this is the most enthusiastic that I have seen Bill. And it's very interesting thinking person.

If the book was like a two or three hundred page book, there's no doubt he's got.

He's modulating a little bit more and he does sometimes, but he's moving forward.

Because I watch the movie, I dive in, but it's quite long and complicated and, you know, I don't want to make an exception. It's my rule to get to the end.

This really does touch on something that can help, and it's to find a way to segue the conversations that you're into without hijacking them. To perhaps have a handful of phrases that open up the door for you to really talk about the things that you're passionate about. Because when I see him talk about the things that he's passionate about, he is much more likable. So what is it about Bill that makes him so much more of a target than Richard Branson? It's not the money, because they both got money. I do think it comes down to charisma. And I want this to highlight how important some of this stuff can be in your own life for two things. One, you do want to start to learn some of the things. So if you want to click some of our body language videos where we go into deeper, what might help. If this is something you struggle with, go ahead. I'll link to a playlist or some videos in the description and in the corner over here. Also, I want to encourage people out there. If you've done your research and you've decided that you hate him, fine. But if you've watched a YouTube video or if you see that the social consensus is on the side of not liking him in whatever circle you're in, I would ask you to hold off on making a judgment. And not just for the sake of Bill Gates, but for the sake of everybody who might struggle to portray themselves in a way that is instantly charismatic and likable. I think one of the worst things that I see in this is dehumanization. And when I look at the things that are being said about Mark Zuckerberg and Bill Gates, while some of them fine memeing and jest, it really is that they're lizards, that they're robots, that they are Satan incarnate. They are not human. And I think what is really occurring at a deep level is that there's a lot of frustration, resentment and anger for the way that things have been going in people's lives. And that is occurring at the macro scale. We're all stuck inside right now. People are losing their jobs, but also it could be on the micro scale within one's own family with some anger that they haven't worked out with their friends or their parents or their brothers or their sisters. And I think that inner anger looks for an escape route. And this has happened all throughout human history. And some group or some person becomes the subject of it because they are different. And the reason that they make such good targets, if you think throughout history, is because they are other. They are different. And we can say that the world's problems are coming from this class of people. If you think that it's the billionaires, if you think that it's the immigrants or the poor or the Republicans or the Democrats, I would really, really urge you to pause, take a deep breath, look inside, find where maybe some of that frustration is coming from, and assume that while some people are doing kinder, nicer things than others, there isn't a class of person out there that isn't a human. And so just be careful what you say, be careful what conclusions you jump to. And I don't think it helps. So, anyway, I'm gonna get off my soapbox now. That's it for this video. I hope that you guys liked it. It's been a bit of a different style for me. I'm not totally. I feel a little bit like Bill Gates myself. This is my bedroom, actually, and I haven't quite got a lay of the land. I don't know what to do. But I do have this thing right here. Take a look. So if you guys have a preference of lighting. Ooh, that's kind of nice. Why didn't I do that one? Let me know which ones you got. So that's green, that's blue. We had, like, an orange or a red going on earlier. I think I kind of like the green. That looks pretty. Pretty nice. Maybe the shadows are harsh, but let me know what you guys think of the setup. I'm getting more and more comfortable on camera in my bedroom. It is a strange thing to shoot like this, but I do hope to do more videos like this, that I can get out faster when something topical happens. And it allows me just to to give you guys my thoughts that are a little bit faster off the top of the dome. So hope that you guys enjoyed this video. If you liked it, please subscribe, hit the notification bell and I will see you in the next one. Peace.

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