5 Clear Signs Of A Manipulative Personality

Narcissists don't behave like most people. They take advantage of the social rules that we expect people to follow, and their manipulations are shockingly effective if you're unprepared. That's why in this video we're going to cover five tells that you're dealing with a narcissist, one who is likely lying in an attempt to gaslight you. That way you're going to be more able to catch them and defend yourself. We'll be using Jussie Smollett as an example for those of you who missed out. In 2019, he claimed to have been the victim of a hate crime, but his story quickly fell apart in ways that are instructive for catching narcissistic liars in your life. The first sign to keep an eye out for is the inclusion of details that only serve to establish a desirable Persona. For instance, at Jussie Smollett sentencing, he.

Shared, I am not suicidal and if anything happens to me when I go in there, I did not do it to myself and you must all know that.

Now obviously Jussie is not someone who's going to be targeted for assassination inside prison. So this outburst makes no sense as a protective measure, but as an attempt to establish his own importance in it makes perfect sense. In a similar vein, during his Good Morning America interview, he emphasized I want.

Them to see that I fought back and I want a little gay boy who might watch this to see that I fought back and it does not take anything away from people that are not able to do that. But I fought back, they ran off. I didn't.

To catch these tales in real time in your life, ask yourself why is this person sharing this story or this detail if there's no other purpose other than giving them a reputation they'd like to have that is a red flag? Concretely, this often comes in the form of unsolicited name dropping or stories of success that have little to do with the topic of conversation. But to be fair, we all tell self aggrandizing stories from time to time, and sometimes those can be necessary to include for the sake of a story. So this first point alone isn't enough to determine if someone's a narcissist. Which takes us to our second point in a much more telling giveaway, the way a narcissist describes other people is as if all their motivations relate back to the narcissist. For instance, ask yourself what kind of real human being would be prepared to do the things that Jussie describes Who.

Says, Empire, this MAGA country ties a noose around your neck and pours bleach on you.

Real people can definitely be motivated to commit heinous acts due to racism, but very few MAGA loving racists are probably watching Empire. And even fewer of those people would walk around with bleach and a rope at 2am Looking to assault Jussie without taking his wallet or getting some kind of benefit for themselves. In a narcissist's mind, though, it makes sense that other people would be totally obsessed with them. That's just the narcissist protecting his own worldview. Outward, he is so obsessed with himself that he can't imagine anyone else not feeling that way. And it shows up in stories of other people whose motivations revolve entirely around him. A great example of this is Jussie's guess at what would motivate these supposed attackers.

I come really, really hard against 45. I come really, really hard against his administration.

Again, the idea that Jussie's criticism of Trump was so remarkable that Trump diehards tracked him down at 2am is absurd. It requires caricatures of human beings who ignore the much more famous people criticizing Trump and also ignore their own desire to not freeze in sub zero temperatures. So in your life, if someone tells you stories where everyone else puts them at the center of their universe, you've got a good sign you're being lied to by a narcissist. Now, with these tells in mind, you might start to raise suspicions, at which point you should keep an eye out for the third tell. And that is someone making skepticism evidence of a character flaw in the disbeliever. When most people tell true but tough to believe stories, they're capable of seeing that what they know happened is difficult for other people to instantly believe. So they say things like, look, I know it sounds crazy, but I swear it's true. Those who tend more towards narcissism, though, struggle to view things from other people's perspectives. Doubt is met with aggression, as if skepticism wasn't a reasonable response to an unreasonable story. For instance, here's Jussie when he's asked how he feels that people didn't instantly believe his story, that strangers carrying rope and bleach recognized and assaulted him at 2am on a freezing cold night.

It feels like if I had said it was a Muslim or Mexican or someone black, I feel like the doubters would have supported me a lot. Much more.

Jussie makes reasonable skepticism evidence of their moral failing. So if you find Yourself constantly defending your character when asking clarifying questions. That's a strong sign you're being gaslit by a narcissist. And it's helpful in these situations to recognize that belief or non belief is not a choice you make. It's simply a result of how the facts line up in your mind. You actually have zero control over what you believe. Like when you stop believing in Santa Claus, that wasn't a choice. It just stopped making sense, and you couldn't choose for it to make sense again. So the only control you have when you're suspicious of someone is whether or not you ask for more details to try to understand their claims. Anyone who calls you out for doing this is criticizing you for being as supportive as you're capable of being. Don't allow anyone to make you feel guilty for this. Onto the fourth sign. When most people are caught in a lie, they break down and admit it. But with narcissists, there's not always an oh, you got me moment. In the face of overwhelming evidence, they tend to dig in deeper.

I did this. Then it means that I stuck my fist in the fears of black Americans in this country for over 400 years and the fears of the LGBTQ community. Your Honor, I respect you and I respect the jury, but I did not do this.

Most people can't imagine denying the truth when caught red handed. And it makes them second guess themselves when they see another person do that. What if they're telling the truth after all? It'd be crazy to deny in the face of overwhelming evidence. But it makes much more sense when you realize that the more narcissistic someone is, the more important cultivating and preserving their images so that image will be defended until the bitter end. This is the highlight that, unfortunately, you might never get the closure of the narcissist fessing up. And you'll probably be stuck with lingering uncertainty. Were they really lying? Why would they even risk that? Which takes us to our fifth point. A cost benefit analysis of a narcissist's lies will probably make zero sense to you. Like, why would Jussie risk his budding career to fake a hate crime? Why would he pay to get punched in the face? We always ask these motive seeking questions when determining if we're being told a lie. With narcissists, we often detect no motive that we can relate to. And this leads to us saying, well, nothing here adds up, but they've got no reason to lie, so I guess I believe them. Unfortunately, this isn't necessarily a sign that they're being truthful, but a sign that their lies are narcissistic in nature. A lie that helps a narcissist move closer to a desired image is worth a big risk. Image is paramount, and what makes them dangerous is the extreme lengths that they're willing to go to build or maintain that image. So a highly suspicious claim that has no clear motive is a strong red flag for narcissistic manipulation. And here's a bonus six tell that relates to all of us Narcissists tend to be perpetually unhappy due to that image focused nature. Sure, they might put on a veneer of happiness since that's what their Persona demands, but because their worldview revolves around other people's perception of them and not the things they actually like. Narcissists struggle to feel joy and though they can appear highly confident, it really is just a cover for a deep lack of self esteem that demands other people's admiration to prop it up. So don't envy the fake confidence of a narcissist and try to restrain those image focused behaviors in your own life. They will not lead you to happiness, confidence or real connection. So hopefully you found some of these tips helpful for identifying and removing narcissists and in your life. And if you're interested in actually building deep self confidence that isn't reliant on what other people think, you might like our flagship course, Charisma University. It's a step by step program for building your confidence and charisma as quickly as possible. Over 9,000 people have joined the program so far and here's what just a few of them have to Loving the course. I have cherry picked a few things, for example the Filter lesson in the conversation module. This one lesson completely changed my life. I've liked a girl for over a year now but never thought much of it because I thought she was just too pretty. Took your lessons, gave things a shot and now we are dating. Another member wrote. I've already watched a lot of the YouTube channel and loved it, but Charisma University's action guide really helped me put this stuff into practice and changed my life. Insane social experiences I never thought I'd have and work wise I ended up getting a best selling author as a mentor. I am so glad I joined and this last one comes in saying I am significantly more confident in all social situations. The connection I feel with strangers and close friends and family alike have increased dramatically. I transitioned from someone who never got asked to hang out regularly to multiple people texting me on a daily basis. Many people have openly expressed their admiration for me and I get a lot more positive attention. I have grown so much because of this course. I can't thank you enough. Now the program comes with a 60 day money back guarantee, which is for any reason whatsoever. It's a 60 day guarantee even though the course is just 30. So there's absolutely no risk on your side. You either like it, you become confident and charismatic up to your standards, or you get every penny back. So if this interests you and you want to unlock your own confidence and charisma, go ahead, click the link on the screen or in the description below and you can learn more about joining. Either way, I hope that you guys enjoyed this video and I look forward to seeing you in the next.