5 Nice Things Guys Say That Girls Hate

There are no classes on flirting in school. And unfortunately, what that means is that when you go out into the world to do it, sometimes some weird things can escape your mouth. Which is why in this video, I'm going to give you five things that you should never say when flirting. You may have in the past because they're very common. No more after this video. So the first one can occur in a lot of situations. You're looking at someone's Instagram, you see they have an attractive friend, you think they might like them, or you're talking alone with them and then all of a sudden, boom, competition shows up, or you hear that they have this celebrity crush. In any of these scenarios, it's easy to feel threatened. And what we sometimes do when we're threatened is we lash out. Guys will say, oh, that guy is too handsome, he looks gay. Sometimes women will use the S word. Whatever it is, we think that what we're doing is disqualifying that person. You can't date them because of this. What we're really doing is disqualifying ourselves because we're showing how insecure we really are. Much better. In the scenario where you start to feel insecure, you're not sure they like someone else is A, you could say nothing, or B, you can give a genuine compliment to that other person. This shows one, that you're secure in your sexuality. Two, that you think that there's more to you than just your looks. Right? You can deal with a bit of competition on that front. And the three, everyone isn't an enemy in the world to you. That's how secure you are. You don't need to be best, better, perfect in any way. You can dish out compliments and still have value on your own. It makes you much more attractive and confident. The second thing here, a very different angle. This is the scenario where you're looking at someone and you really like them and you have those rose colored glasses on. Everything they say is perfect. So they're telling you a story. You know, I went to Jamaica with my family. Oh, that's amazing. And then we went to this restaurant. That's amazing. And I had this delicious steak. Oh my gosh, that's amazing. When you hear yourself saying, that's amazing, that's so cool. That's so awesome. Repeatedly, stop yourself because you are alienating this individual. I, I certainly encourage enthusiasm. I do it all the time on this channel. But not everything in life is truly amazing. And when people hear that, you think everything that they do is, even when it's not. That's going to make them go, okay, this person likes me a little bit too much. It's needy and I don't want to continue with them. So much better here is to honestly say things are amazing when they truly strike you as amazing, and to not do it when they're not in those situations where there's something, this person really is truly amazing and you don't know what to do other than keep repeating it. Some playful sarcasm is very powerful. So they're telling you this honest to God, awesome story. You can go. Hold on. Wait a second. Let me guess. You also volunteer with orphanages on the weekend and probably practice rocket science for fun in your free time, right? That is a playful way of saying you are really, really cool. That isn't just repeating you're amazing. It makes them laugh and it decreases the tension. So the third thing here comes when you're finally ready to spend some time with that person and maybe a more romantic setting. So you want to ask them out and you work all this courage up and you say, ugh, do you want to go out sometime? And to your surprise, they say yes. And you go, great. And you're out of there, right? This is terrible. You may have had a scenario in your life where you've met an old friend on the street. You both go, oh my God, so good to see you. We should hang out sometime. Totally. You split and what happens? Can we go out sometime? Means let's hang out never, right? So don't leave any sort of plans that you want to make on can we or should we go out sometime? Much better is to make concrete plans so you can say instead, hey, Wednesday night, there's this concert. I know you mentioned that you liked it. Would you like to go with me? I think it starts around 8pm now you're getting a yes or a no for a real thing rather than the fake yes or even the completely vague no that you would get from let's go out sometime. So fourth, very similar to this one is, I think this is popularized by movies, is can I get your number? This has a lot of problems. And the same thing occurs with can I get your Snapchat? Can I get your Instagram handle? It treats the trading of contact information as the goal of an interaction when, if you're trying to see this person again, the goal is to actually see them again. So that's one weird thing. But the second thing is imagine that someone's just out of the blue and there's no concrete plans asking for your phone number, your head is going to go to, what does this person want? Are they going to text me all the time? Are they going to call me when I'm at dinner? Like, why would I give them my phone number? It can actually make someone who is interested in you who way more leery about spending time with you. So instead of asking for Instagram, Snapchat, that stuff's a little bit easier because we trade it or phone number instead. Make concrete plans. And once those are made, you're going out. You know, she says yes or he says yes, you're going out at 8pm on Wednesday, say, awesome, what's your number? You're not asking for the number, it's just facilitating that contact between you. And the fifth one has a lot of different flavors, but it starts with, you would look better, prettier, more handsome if you cut your hair, worked out, changed your shirt and. And one that I feel like is very popular, unfortunately for men to say to women is if you smiled. So I think this comes from a not knowing what to say. They see someone who doesn't look like they're having fun at a party and they want to give a compliment, they say, you'd look prettier if you smiled. That person will never smile at you. You just made them so self conscious about the fact that they are not smiling. You put yourself on opposing teams, they're not going to warm to you. So cut that one out of your vocabulary. All the other ones, you'd look better if, I mean, you can imagine this. I don't know why we do it other than just nerves, but when we're telling someone they would look better if we're saying today is not so good, right, that's going to make them associate bad feelings to you. So unless it's a very particular scenario where they're asking, what should I do with my hair? You could say, oh, I'd like it better in this scenario. Don't do this, just leave it out. So those are five things that I hear all too often that you should cut out of your flirting vocabulary. Now, I actually have two announcements for the end of this video, very exciting ones. The first is that we will be having two videos this week. The next one is coming out on Thursday. It's a bit of a departure from our normal style of video. It is a cringe compilation reaction analysis. And so it's a new style of video. I'm testing it out. Please check it out, let me know what you think because we're going to be trying to expand into a number of different things and I want to know what you guys like. The second announcement is that I have to thank for that video. Our sponsor, Simple Habit, they in part make it possible for us to experiment like this. Simple Habit, if you haven't yet checked it out, is an app that has guided meditations. Now I've used this in the past for meditations on joy for feeling more gratitude. But what I would recommend it for, if you're interested in this topic, is confidence. Because I've actually gone on and recorded my own meditation for boosting confidence and you can listen to it before you go out in a dating, a social, some sort of career scenario to really put yourself in a confident state. So if you want to check that out completely for free, you can go to the link below simplehabit.com confidence to get your one week free trial and if you like it beyond that you can just pay $11.99 a month to continue it. I know that I certainly have and I at the very least recommend checking this one week trial out. For those of you who are interested. I have two meditations that I've recorded. That first one is on confidence and I also have another one on self love and self acceptance. So I hope that you guys enjoyed this video. I look very much forward to seeing you in the next one on Thursday. Let me know what you think of it then. Take care.