5 Ways To Develop Charisma Faster

Learning things slowly is a bummer, but unfortunately, that is the route that I see most people go when it comes to learning confidence and charisma. Either they don't try to learn at all, or they spend 10 times longer trying to take skills and integrate them when it could be done much more quickly. And that's exactly why in this video, I want to give you five tips for taking everything that you've learned on this channel about confidence, charisma, and perhaps elsewhere and making it an unthinking habit much, much more quickly. Now, this is actually a fan question that we received on the podcast, but I think this answer is important enough to share with you here on the main channel. So here it is.

So we were talking about last night at dinner, the fact that we're hiring someone to hopefully write charisma scripts.

Yes.

Right.

Yes. And we've been working on this. So Ben wrote a couple of scripts. He did the Thor one.

That's the only one.

We did Rick and Morty. He did a handful of them. He did the Floyd Conner. We've made some bad predictions. We said, Conor McGregor's going to win every fight.

I said might win. I audible at the last minute. I wasn't feeling confident, changed it to might win or could win.

So Ben made a handful of videos. I've made a lot of the videos and in the last six months I've started to get help researching, which was really nice. But then I was like, okay, I wonder if someone can help me research. I wonder if I can be involved sort of as an advisor role and somebody else can do the writing of the script. And I'll be like, ah, here's an interesting point, here's an interesting point. But also this person would need to find. Find interesting points on their own. So just that's the background is what we've been trying to do.

And one of the things that we realized is this person is they're very smart, they're very hard working, they write very well, but they don't have the same handle on charisma. Right. And so you're gonna train them on how to be a better writer. I'm gonna start training them on how to learn charisma.

Yeah.

So I thought it'd be interesting to talk on the podcast about how do you learn charisma as quickly as possible? Because I need this guy to learn charisma as quickly as possible.

Yeah. So the first thing that we discussed last night, which I'm sure of, is this can't be simply an intellectual exercise. I think some of the, since we've been working with writers, it's a thought process which is important, where you experiment in your mind and you go, oh, what would happen if this person had done this? Or what would happen if they did the opposite? But what is critical is that you take some of those hypotheses out into the real world in your life and see how they apply. Because what is occurring on Graham Norton show is not going to port one for one exactly to every situation that you're going to encounter in the office. So that's the first thing is to come up with hypothesis by watching your friends, family, other people who are charismatic. Oh, I think his stories are good because when he's talking, he takes a really deep breath before he hits that main point. I'll try doing that in my life. I'll see if it works for me. So testing, that's one thing that definitely needs to happen.

Yeah. So I think one step before that is being aware of your own reactions to people and who makes a charismatic impression on you, good or bad? Because first you have to come up with, what am I going to test? Right. So one way you can do that is watch our videos. But another way is you can just be aware in your own life. Pay attention to the moments that you really like someone, that somebody makes you in awe of them, or that someone pisses you off, makes you uncomfortable, makes you feel creeped out. Note what that person did. Try to play the scene back in your head, because that's what we did. We didn't have many charisma breakdowns to watch, Right. But what we could do is just watch charismatic people. And when they get a big laugh, or when we would go, oh my God, I really like this person, you stop and you think, what are they doing that makes me really like them? So we have a neighbor, Grant's roommate, who I really like, even though I've never really spent much time with. And I realized it's because whenever the elevator's closing or whenever we're going our separate ways, he stops what he's doing for 15 seconds to finish our conversation. It makes me feel like he's genuinely interested. And I thought, oh my God, I really like this guy. Why? And then that's my hypothesis. And then I can do what you said and go test it in my own life and see how it goes. So, yeah, I think that self awareness of your own reactions to people can be really helpful.

And that's a great point. And that's something that you'll Never see on the Graham Norton show. Because you don't ride in elevators on the Graham Norton Show. But that's. Yeah, that's just an excellent point. The other thing that really helped you and I was having one another, and I think I just can't speak to that.

I don't feel that way. I've kind of got it on my own.

The ability to bounce that idea off of me and then have me go, oh, wow. That relates to this thing that I experience in work, but it doesn't work in XYZ scenario. Super, super useful. So can't overlook that. Anything else?

Yes. Don't try to do everything at once. So I think this is why in Charisma University, there's one daily action per day. I think There's. With our YouTube channel, there can be a sense of. This is really fun to watch. I'm gonna watch six videos, and then you go out into the world, and you go, okay, I'm gonna touch like Chris Hemsworth. I'm gonna make eye contact like Tom Holland. I'm gonna tell stories like Kevin Hart. And it's overwhelming. And I know what we did is we just went, all right, today, all I'm gonna do is try to make eye contact with people. I don't have to speak. I don't have to be funny. I don't have to do anything but look people in the eye. And you do that three days or however long it takes to feel comfortable. And then you go, okay, now that is kind of an unthinking habit. Now I can focus on storytelling, and I think that way it's not so overwhelming. And weirdly enough, you'll get good much faster by only focusing on one thing at a time.

Yeah, totally. That's huge. And even within one video, there's five points. Pick one of them. The videos have five points to be entertainment, but you got to pick one thing to do and. And then one way to pick the things that I get to do as a job, which is really nice, is to pick someone who you consider sort of a charisma icon, someone that you like, and do that watching of a handful of their videos or even just five to 10 minutes in the morning. So when I want to be funny, I watch the best of Stepbrothers because I like Will Ferrell's sense of humor in that, and I just steal his jokes or I'll watch Chris Pratt. And five to ten minutes before you go somewhere really does drive home the mentality. And then you pick one concrete thing to add to that. So you have this underlying willingness to be absurd, to just have fun in the moment. And then you add on top of that, okay, I'm gonna spice these jokes up with one particular thing. I'm gonna double down in there. And then if you do that for a handful of days, you're like, okay, I'm starting to develop that skill now. It's time to move on to something else. And I think that that would be the way that I would recommend that most people use our channel to go about learning it as fast as they can.

Yeah, for sure. When I wanted to be more playful, I started watching Brooklyn Nine. Nine 20 minute episodes, one a day. Incredibly helpful. It just incepts you. You almost can't help but start to be like the people that you're watching.

Totally.

There's also why it's really dangerous to watch macabre or watch characters who are dicks for too long because you really can't. It is Inception. You don't get to ignore it. It's like hypnosis.

Yeah. And then you wind up being sarcastic because that works for this character in this particular role. And you're like, oh, what do you know? Like the good hypothesis to have tested in the real world. Because people don't really like it when I one up everything they say with my incredibly awesome zinger. Like, there's not a laugh track. This doesn't work the same way it does in that particular TV show. So. Yeah. So good luck teaching. It's been interesting to do a meta analysis of what is going on as I look at these things. And also to meta analyze what we've been doing for 10 years, which was we were analyzing people and now I'm analyzing myself as I analyze those people to try to find where we got most of our wins from. It's very confusing. One day I wonder if it'd be interesting. I don't. I don't know if it'd be cool for the main channel to talk through the process of making one of these charisma breakdowns. It might be a sort of a niche audience thing. Maybe.

I bet people would be interested in it.

Perhaps on the podcast I can. I can discuss it in greater detail because it does get. It gets to nitty gritty. And once you see how the sausage is made, you're like, kind of just wanted to eat the hot dog.

I just want to watch. Yeah, I just want to watch your peaky blindness. Right.

Exactly.

I don't need to know why this took 30 hours.

Exactly. And the timestamps that you wrote and all the points that didn't make it in. And like, yeah, it's not as, it's not as fun and interesting as the final video works out, but I do enjoy it a lot. So if it's the right person, if it's the right person. So I hope that you have enjoyed those tips and that you start implementing them right away. If you're interested in checking out the entire podcast, you can do so with the description in the link below. But also, let me just say, I hope that you decide to check the podcast out regularly, because I've been having a ton of fun with it. First and foremost, I am a philosophy guy. That's what I studied in college. That's what I spend my free time doing it. And I'm always interested in how that intersects with psychology, what's going on in the media today, and personal development. And the podcast, in terms of the reviews we've been getting has reflected that this is something that we are passionate about. People seem to really enjoy it. So if you want to check that podcast out, it's something that Ben and I have been doing twice a week, every week over on our podcast channel or wherever podcasts are streamed. I hope that you decide to stop in, take a listen, leave a comment, let us know what you're liking. But either way, I hope that you've enjoyed this video and I look forward to seeing seeing you in the next one.