6 Charming Habits To Make People Feel Special Around You

Hugh Jackman is one of the most charming people in Hollywood. And the best part about his style of charisma is that once you get it down, it's effortless. Specifically, Hugh has six habits that make him charming to almost anyone he meets. Once you learn a few of these habits, you can go into any conversation with confidence, knowing you'll find it easy to make people smile, laugh, and love being around you. My hunch is you get this a lot. Just seeing your face has lifted my spirits. Your natural sort of sense of self.

Lifts people around you.

Do people tell you that we all have some degree of natural charm when we're comfortable, but we lose this in situations where we feel like we're being judged and need to impress, like in a job interview, a first date, or when meeting a new group of people. So the first trick you can steal from you is to reframe those situations that make you nervous. Here's Hugh explaining how he does this for audition.

I used to always go into an audition as though it was a rehearsal. If they said, look, I think you should sit down in the chair and say, you know, I think the character would stand. And so it wasn't just, you've got all the power and I'm trying to please you, but rather, we're trying to work together.

So, for instance, if you find yourself entering a date or an interview feeling pressured to perform or impress, make sure you find time to ask questions designed to see if you like them too. This will reframe the situation in your mind and give you more confidence. Another thing that helps you tremendously is that he's doing something he loves.

In a way, when I'm on stage, it's probably the most calm I feel.

Most people screw this up when they're making plans with someone for the first time because they try to plan something they think will impress. Instead, make plans to do something you'll enjoy in a setting that will make you comfortable. If you're relaxed and having fun, then you'll feel more confident and you'll perform better. Hu applies this to everything from athletics to singing to acting. And it's true of conversations as well. He calls it the 85% rule. Here's him describing it on the Tim Ferriss show.

I think that they call it the 85% rule. If you tell most sort of a type athletes to run at their 85% capacity, they will run faster than if you tell them to run 100 because it's more about relaxation and form.

This also sets you up well to succeed at the second habit that makes you incredibly charming. He's a master at being contagiously positive. Simply put, people love being around Hugh Jackman because he makes them have fun and feel good about themselves. And you can be confident that people will love being around you if you can do the same. This starts with a mindset. Your first goal in social situations should be to have fun yourself. Hugh applies this even in high stakes situations like hosting the Oscars.

When I hosted the Oscars, I was, I was like, wow, man, this is a billion people. And I just thought, okay, whatever you do, just remember you're a kid from Muronga in Sydney. You're hosting the Oscars, have some fun.

And you can see this in action. When Hugh is performing at the Oscars, notice the audience reaction when he can't help himself from laughing. The reader.

I know I need to see the reader.

Hugh has the classic signs of happy confidence, a big smile and a big laugh. But what makes his positivity so contagious is how encouraging he is with other people when they start to join in. Watch how he engages with what this interviewer is saying.

My dad loved you, but he never got your name right. What was it? Stu Jackson for like better name.

He asks her a question, laughs and compliments the punchline. This is less than 30 seconds into the conversation. Imagine if you were her, how this would set a tone for a great interaction. Here's another example from the same conversation where they try to sing together. Note that Hugh is a Tony Award winning singer and she self admittedly cannot sing well.

Paper peeling in the corner. Sunset Boulevard, Queensland Boulevard. That's it, very good.

She easily could have felt self conscious but his high five and encouraging words make her feel good for joining in. If you smile big, laugh loudly and encourage other people when they become playful, they will love being around you. Now that said, the goal is not to be fake. It's to get in touch with your natural playfulness and positivity. Hugh's next habit actually helps tremendously with this and it makes you feel more confident and look more confident to the people around you. This may seem counterintuitive, but it's to give yourself permission to admit to emotions beyond happiness. Most people think admitting to certain emotions shows some sort of weakness. But Hugh is confident sharing emotions many men wouldn't be.

Saw it in Berlin next to him and I was just weeping and I was nervous, man, I was really nervous. All my head is saying, you're going to screw this up. This is yours to lose, right?

The Reason this is charming is because everyone has these feelings. So when you share them, people connect with that experience and they respect you because you're sharing something they'd be scared to share. This also helps your confidence because you train yourself to realize there's no emotion you have to hide or pretend you don't feel. And it makes the conversation more effortless because you don't have to worry about pretending to be someone you're not. This ties directly to Hugh's next great habit. He owns his flaws and isn't afraid to talk about them. For instance, here he is talking about being weaker than the guys he worked with when he did a cameo in professional wrestling. When the guy said, you hit me like a girl, did you feel emasculated? You're like, don't f do that to me.

Did you get pissed off? No. He was absolutely right. I'm an actor. If you hit me, I cry. It's the real world.

As another example, listen to him tell a story about when he was cast to play a part in a musical that was outside his vocal range.

I said, but I can't sing that. You'll be fine. And every night I would go out there. Every night, there was three performances. Every night I went out there. Maria, Marie and I would go.

And for one last example, listen to him tell this story about his dad and watch for the interviewer's reaction. At the end of the day, no.

Matter anything I've ever done, acting wise, he says exactly the same thing. Hugh, wonderful work, Van Helsing. It just really.

Van Helsing got terrible reviews, and the fact he's willing to poke fun at it goes over incredibly well with the audience. Now, that said, in your own life, it's best if you start with flaws you aren't terribly insecure about, rather than stories that highlight your deepest insecurities. Save those for once. This becomes something you're very comfortable doing and that you're getting great reactions from. A good place to start is simply being able to laugh when you mess up or make a mistake.

I am. Whoa. I've got it today.

One thing that will help you share your flaws charismatically is being a good storyteller. Hugh is particularly good at telling sticky stories. They grab your attention and keep it. He does this by focusing first on saying a hook that builds curiosity.

I don't know if I've told anyone this, by the way. Anyway, wow. This is another story. I don't think I'll tell. But she did not. Oh, God, he's an embarrassing story.

Start your stories with a hook like that and you can be confident that you will grab people's attention. If you aren't sure how to hook people into your story, a great go to is to explain why it was a high stakes situation for you. Here's an example from hugh.

We did four workshops over four years. There were about 80 people with a checkbook in there, like, so it was, will this or will it not happen based on this one performance step?

Watch how as he continues to tell the story, he reinforces that this was a high stakes situation.

I had 80 stitches in my nose and I passed up and said, great, I'm back to rehearsal, gotta sing tomorrow. And he goes, the doctor's like, no, no, no, you can't sing tomorrow. I said, you know, because it may. The stitches may come apart. And I said, you don't understand. This is our make or break.

Set your stories up with curiosity and stakes and people will be captivated. Now, we can't discuss Hugh Jackman's charm without touching on perhaps his greatest strength of all. He has an incredible ability to make the people around him feel special. One of the best ways Hugh does this is with his oh, wow compliment.

I would never forgive myself, Gary, if I didn't tell you you are one of the greatest actors to have ever lived. You're one of my inspirations.

A genuine compliment that feels special is one of the fastest ways to make someone like you. But compliments can go wrong in two ways. If it seems like you're just saying it to be polite or like you're sucking up. In this next clip, notice how Hugh's compliment could have come across as just being nice. But then watch what he does to make it feel genuine.

There I was, sitting next to one of my heroes, and I'm not just saying that to be nice. I was at drama school watching the John Barton how to play Shakespeare tapes with Patrick playing Shylock, and I thought, one day I want to work with him. And there I was.

Hugh adds context to the compliment, which makes it obvious he's being real. Here's another great one. You can tell that initially this compliment doesn't mean much to Emily.

Listen, don't undersell what you did. Look, there's. Julie Andrews is unbelievable in every single way. You are unbelievable in every single way. No, I mean it.

Now watch her reaction as he adds context to the compliment.

It's also, you go in as someone who knows musical theater and movie musicals. You go in like, that's a lot. You've taken on A lot. That's a big hard. Like it's a. And from the opening scene you just go, ah. Oh, you're the best.

By adding context. In this case, that his compliment comes from his own experience in musical theater. He gets Emily to laugh and feel the compliment comes from a real place of appreciation. We've covered compliments in detail in other videos, but just to quickly review, the best compliments will be something you genuinely appreciate about the other person, something the other person takes pride in, and ideally something they don't hear complimented often. If you can get all three, you'll make someone light up and love you for it. Now, that said, delivering that type of compliment might be something you're not comfortable with at the moment. So there's a much easier way to make someone feel special that you can be confident you can pull off in any conversation. Eye contact. This is something we've all heard before and yet many of us don't actually use eye contact correctly. And Hugh is world class at it. For example, how often do we see celebrities answer fan questions by looking around vaguely at an entire auditorium? Watch what Hugh does instead. Wants to know what was it like.

For you to say goodbye to that character last year? Jenna, you there?

Yes. Hi, Jenna. He gives his full attention to whoever he's speaking to. Whether it's an A list celebrity or an audience member, he doesn't know. This is a powerful thing. What most people do is listen with eye contact, but then break it when they're speaking. In our Tom Holland video, we talk about how to spread eye contact around while telling a story to keep an entire group captivated. But what you can learn from Hugh is how powerful it can be to lock in on someone after they've asked you a question. Having the full focus of someone you like feels amazing. And once you start doing the other habits in this video, you may find people even start to ask you questions just to try to earn your undivided attention. Now, hopefully, this video has given you the tools to enter any conversation with confidence, knowing how to make anyone have fun and feel good. If social confidence is an area you really want to improve, I recommend checking out our course, Charisma University. It's a step by step online program guaranteed to make you more confident and charismatic. In just 30 days, over 5,000 people have joined the program. And here's what just a few of them have had to say about it. First, before cu, I sucked at having conversations and I had low confidence around people. But I am way more confident now, having gone through the daily action guides and I can see a big difference in the attention and respect that I get. It makes life so much more fun. I don't think it's an overstatement to say charisma is literally a gateway to getting anything you want in life. So thank you for making Charisma University, another member wrote, after completing only just a few CU modules, my biggest breakthrough has been gaining more confidence. If you knew me a year ago, you'd see a socially awkward guy. But that same guy had hidden confidence and charisma that has now been unleashed. If you're reading this or listening right now, think about who you want to be in a year. This course will teach you how to be that person. And this last one comes from a guy who says CU helped his dating life. He says, firstly, loving the course. I have cherry picked a few things, for example the filter lesson in the conversation module. This one lesson completely changed my life. I've liked a girl for a year now but never thought much of it because I thought she was too pretty. Took your lessons, gave things a shot and now we're dating. Charisma University also comes with a 60 day money back guarantee which is 100% for any reason whatsoever you and it's 60 days even though the course is only 30 days. Just so there's no risk on your part. Either you become more confident and charismatic or you get every penny back. So if this interests you and you want to unlock your confidence and charisma, I highly recommend you click on the link that's on screen now or in the description below to find out more about Charisma University. Either way, I hope that you've enjoyed this video and I hope to see you in the next.