6 Common Mistakes That Ruin First Impressions

Look under any YouTube video of Simu Liu and you'll see commenters praising his charisma. He's new to being an A list celebrity, but he's making an incredible first impression. So in this video, we're gonna go through six mistakes most people make during their first impressions and six habits you can learn from CEMU that will let you make an amazing first impression instead. These habits are super easy to do. Most people just don't know to do them. Once you learn a few of these habits, you'll find that the people you meet start thinking stuff like this after meeting you. My problems. It has been an absolute pleasure. Thank you so much for being so much fun.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

The first thing you can learn from CEMU is how to make an entrance. Most people mistakenly think a first impression starts when you start speaking, so they don't pay attention to how they enter a room or what they're doing before getting into a conversation. Your first impression actually starts as soon as someone first notices you. For an over the top example of a strong entrance or watch how Simu enters a talk show, please welcome Simu Liu.

Say hello to Simu Leo, everybody. That was one hell of an thank you.

Thank you. It's my first one, so I knew I had to make it count.

You know, in your own life, you obviously don't have to dance as you enter every room. But these examples highlight two easy habits that can help you make a good first impression. Confident body language and positive energy. At a party, that might look like those last two clips. But at a work meeting, classroom, or calmer social event, it can be as simple as walking in with your head held high, shoulders back, a smile on your face, and saying a big hello. The easiest mental cue to give yourself is to come in one energy level higher than the average person in that same situation. If you want one specific tip for how to instantly look more confident, get comfortable taking up the space around you. A common mistake that will make you look like you lack confidence is keeping your arms tight to your body while you speak. In contrast, watch how far from his body Simu's hand gets in this next clip. It may seem like a small detail, but but it subconsciously influences how people perceive you. For context, this is Simu at Comic Con after being introduced to Shang Chi in front of thousands of people just a few days after he got the part.

Literally. Guys, I was cast on Tuesday. I screen tested on Sunday in New York. And this is just the craziest, craziest dream all Your beautiful faces.

One other quick tip for entering a conversation. Well, once Covid is over, you'll want to lead with some form of touch. Depending on the setting, that can be anything from a handshake to a big bear hug. So, for example, when you walk into a meeting, rather than wave, shake everyone's hand. It takes longer, but it helps you build an instant connection with the people there. Watch Simu again at that comic convention. This is when he was first introduced.

Simu Liu. Wow.

Okay, so at this point, your body language is solid and you've come in with big positive energy. Now the question is, what do you actually say? One habit that you can take from Simu is to look for observational compliments early in the interaction. In addition to his positive vibe, Simu looks for opportunities to be verbally positive.

Welcome to the show. Thank you so much for having me. Jimmy. Oh my God.

Best.

Can I just say, best swag of any talk show or any I've ever been. I mean, look at the detail.

The average person goes into most conversations neutral in terms of their energy, tone of voice, and body language. Some people even make the mistake of trying to be cool by coming in aloof or standoffish. Instead, Simu actively looks to give a compliment.

Comic Con is great. This is the best crowd ever.

This isn't about lying or saying something fake. If you do that, it will seem like false flattery. Instead, when you start a conversation, ask yourself if there's anything you can genuinely compliment. If there is, say it. If not, don't sweat it. If you don't feel comfortable starting off by complimenting someone you've just met, there's another habit you can steal from cemu. Instead, compliment the people in your life that you're already close to. Instead of focusing solely on trying to make yourself look good like most people do, spend time elevating the people around you. Simu will do this to their face, but also when they aren't around. For example, here are a few clips of him talking about his parents and his co stars, Awkwafina and Tony Leong.

Both of them. Yes, they're very, very intelligent people and they have no idea what happened to me. She was so great in grounding me because I was just a nervous ball of insecurity and anxiety at that point. Tony is wonderful and fantastic and has zero ego about him. Is so gentle and soft spoken and friendly. I respect him so much. And he was, again, very patient. Such a joy to work with.

Hyping up people you're close to. When they aren't around is a great habit to have. First, if it gets back to them, they'll appreciate your kind words. Second, it highlights that you have close relationships with awesome people, which makes you look good. And third, it shows you aren't a try hard who's always trying to center yourself and your own accomplishments. Simu's positivity comes through in another habit as well. He's able to be an encouraging listener. There's a few ways you can be an encouraging listener and make people love talking to you. The easiest is simply to smile and make eye contact as you listen. You can also call out if they make a good point or ask a question. You're Shang Chi. How the heck did that happen?

That's a really good question. It's a really good question, man.

How did you do some of this?

Yeah, that's a really great question.

To deliver all this action and all this, like, heart that you had to bring to your character.

Well, you know, that's a wonderful question, and thank you for differentiating those two, because I think Shang Chi is so much more than just a martial artist.

Another easy way to be a likable listener is to lower your filter and laugh easily. Watch in this next clip the difference in reaction between Awkwafina and Simu. Who would you like more if you were the woman speaking?

I love working with him because he's so funny, and I just. I just love watching all of them roasting each other constantly, like on set. And just, you know, often we think.

That in order to make a good impression, we need to be funny and charming. But people will also love being around you if you make them feel funny and charming. That said, it does help tremendously to be able to make people laugh. An easy way to do this during a first impression is to be playful when you answer a question. For a quick example, watch how Simu injects some humor into this answer from that question we saw earlier. You're Shang Chi. How the heck did that happen?

Well, I was asked to audition for this film like any other. Of course, I knew it was special because it was called Untitled Marvel Project. You know, I'm no Sherlock Holmes, but I put two and two together.

You know, some people struggle with this habit of being playful. You may not be sure how to think quickly on your feet and come up with clever jokes on the spot, but that's totally fine because there's an easy way around that. Simply think ahead of time about the questions you're likely to be asked. We all have questions. We know we get asked in almost every first impression. In Simu's case, during his press tour of Shang Chi, it was very likely he'd get asked about his past tweets.

It's sort of like, I loved your tweet. Like, you know, you shouting out like, hey, Marvel, can we make this happen? And then like on Monday, it sort of does.

Wait.

And I think the way you went about, I don't know if this is true or not, but the way you went about getting the role for Shang Chi, is it started with tweets or something or is that really true?

Wait for it. And it all started. This is what I love. Everything started from you tweeting this tweet in 2014.

Yeah.

Hey, Marvel, great job with Captain America and Thor. Now, how about an Asian American hero? So did you have any expectations after that tweet of maybe them possibly reaching out?

After 10 plus times of being asked the same question? Simu had his answer dialed in. And you may not realize it, but in your own life, that same thing is happening to you. Think about it. What are the questions in your own life that come up again and again when you first meet someone? Maybe it's where are you from? Or what do you do? You know it's going to be asked, but do you have a home run answer? If you want to get good at consistently making an amazing first impression and you don't want to have to rely on quick wit, then you'll want to think about the questions you get asked most frequently and have great answers for them. A great answer can either make the person laugh or showcase something interesting or attractive about you in a way that feels natural and unforced. If you want an exact blueprint for how to answer those questions, well, you may like our program, Charisma University. On day three of the program, we walk you through exactly how to craft great answers to the most commonly asked questions. You'll get fill in the blank worksheets so that it's effortless to know what to say. And you'll get exercises to help you get used to answering in a way that feels easy and natural. That's what's nice about Charisma University. We try our best to make the YouTube videos as helpful as we possibly can. But in a 30 day program, we're able to lay out everything sequentially so you know exactly what to do each day to become more charismatic. And each day builds upon the next. So rather than tell you more about it myself, I think the best way to let you know what CU is about is just to let the members speak for themselves. So here are a few things that people have written in the first is from a guy who is interviewing for new jobs. He says, I interviewed at dozens of places for jobs after medical school. At the end of one of my interview days, the doctor pulled me aside and said that I had hands down the best interview out of everybody and they would love to have me at their program. They ranked me number one and it's my current job. Another person wrote in about their social life saying, it has truly been incredible. I've instantly had results that seem insane. So many more meaningful connections. My friendships have improved. My interactions with total strangers are are a new, exciting, fulfilling thing. I want to recommend this to everyone. This should be in our basic education system. And the last one is from someone who says it's been life changing. Your course has been life changing to the point where I wake up in the morning feeling like I've been transferred to a new person's body. The person I kept dreaming of becoming before I found charisma on command. It is incredible. I found myself and I found what makes me happy. You'll see more stories like these in the comments if you decide to join the course. If you do join, it comes with a 60 day money back guarantee which is 100% for any reason at all. I make it 60 days even though the course is only 30 days, because I want to make sure that every single member truly feels like they're getting a ton of value from the course. If you want to check the course out, go ahead and click the link on screen now or below in the description to learn more. We've had thousands of members go through this course and get a ton out of it and I would love for you to do the same. Either way, I hope you enjoyed this video and I look forward to seeing you in the next one.