6 Secret Phrases That Instantly Persuade People

You probably like to think of yourself as a rational human being. Like, when you have a decision to make, you take all the information, you make a pros and cons list, and you add that up to make the best decision possible. But you're a human being. And the truth of human beings is we are far more irrational than we'd like to admit. Oftentimes our decisions come down to the smallest irrational things. And oftentimes that can be just a few words. Which is why in this video, I want to give you six phrases that you can use to about talk. Turn the tide in your favor when you're trying to persuade someone to do something that you might like. Now, this is not going to be a substitute for really developing a true persuasive strategy. It's not a substitute for empathy. But start adding these phrases into your vocabulary, and I think you'll be shocked with how quickly and how effective they are. So the first one is when you're coming up against a gatekeeper, and the phrase is simply going to be, have you ever made an exception? Now, now, I used to use this all the time when I would try to get into bars and clubs after it was technically out of capacity, and it worked pretty well. I had a buddy who was going to a graduation ceremony. They had six family members and four tickets to get in, and they were there. And the guy clearly would have liked to have done something, but it was against the rules. So my friend said, have you ever made an exception? He said, no, I'm sorry, we can't do that. He said, would it be possible to just make one exception this time? And the guy looked around and he said, okay, go ahead, get in there. This one is most effective when you have a gatekeeper that is just doing their job. Like, they're not. They're not staunchly against you getting in. They're trying to follow the rules. But the idea of making one little exception, even of thinking back to a time where they did and going, okay, that wasn't such a big deal, that can often tip them over to the edge, just shooing you in. So that's the first one. The second one is for when someone has really dug in their feet against you. They do not want to be persuaded. They do not agree with you. You're coming out of left field and they're not into it. And I found myself using this one recently with my family. I wanted my brother to go to this personal development seminar, but it's long, it's three and a half days, and it's about 12 hours a day. It's really intense. There's a ton of reasons not to go. So he was dug in. He did not want to go. And I remember saying to him, henry, if I were in your position, I got to be honest, I'd feel the same exact way. And he looked at me and I said, then followed up with all the reasons that I'd feel that way. I said, look, I get it. It's a ton of time. You don't know if it's going to be valuable. It seems like a crazy. I get it. All of that said, and then I proceeded to give him my reasons that I thought he should go. When you say, if I was in your position, I'd feel the same exact way. You are validating that person. You're saying you're not wrong. You just might not be seeing something from a different perspective. If you try to jump into someone who is staunchly against you with your side, they're just going to dig in deeper. But when you take their side and you say you're actually right, that sort of gets them to loosen up and then they become a little bit more open to change. And in my brother's case, he did wind up going to the program. It was really great. He's happy he did. I'm happy he did. It all worked out. So the third one, you can use this. This one is amazing for interviews. And I thought about not including it because I don't want to flood the market. It is incredibly powerful. Use it sooner because I am going to say it. It is going to. Apparently, a lot of people will see this and hopefully use this, but you use this one towards the end of an interview when they're asking you if you have any questions for them. And it's kind of a long one. It goes something like this. So obviously I'd love to get this job. But when you're thinking down the line, whether you hire me or whether you hire someone else, how will you know a year from now whether or not you made the right choice? What will that person had to have done to have been an excellent hire? When you say that, first off, I've gotten many, many messages from clients who have said, first off, the employer loved it. They were so happy to hear that you took the initiative to find what it takes to be good in this role. But second, when they start reciting to you what a fantastic employee looks like, they're looking at you. And if you say it the way I said it, they're imagining Having hired you and having had you been this person, when that is in their imagination and they go back to think of who are we going to hire, they've already spent time thinking of having you been an incredible employee. This one is so powerful, so valuable. Obviously you still need to be qualified, but if you get to this point, it can really push you over the edge. So use it. The fourth one, this one you can use added to any of these to make it more powerful. And it can seem ham fisted and clumsy, but it's simply just adding the person's name. When you hear your name, you perk up. Your attention is instantly called in that direction and somewhere it implies that that person knows you, like there's a connection there. The weird thing is today we often have times where there's a gatekeeper that has a name tag. So I remember at bars or clubs when we're trying to get in, the guy would have a name tag. We'd learn his name earlier or read his name tag and say, how's things going in there tonight, John? And he'd look at us and be like, do I know these guys? I'm not really sure. He said, it's good. And so when it came time to ask, could we go in? He was much more amenable. And if it came down to that final question of have you ever made an exception, John? He felt like he knew us and that made it easier, even more likely that we could get in that night again. You can use this not just with bartender, with going into a bar club, you can use this all over the place to make any sort of ask much more powerful. The fifth one, this is a sales tactic and it's called the yes ladder. If you've ever been called up by your university when they're asking for money, you know that they don't just pick up the phone and go, hey, would you like to donate a hundred dollars today? That would be crazy. They start off by putting you on a yes ladder. They say, is this the correct address that we can reach you at? How is this phone number something, something, something? They try to get you answering yes to easy questions before they hit you with a big ask for money. Now the time that I tend to use this the most in my life and that I recommend that people use it is when they're asking someone on a date, right? You don't want to just jump into, hey, can I have your phone number? Can we go out Wednesday night, 8pm Rather, it's better to walk them up a yes ladder. And so since I like salsa dancing, the one that I tend to ask women when I'm asking them on a date is sitting. Have you ever heard of salsa dancing? Now, just about everyone's heard of salsa dance, so yeah, I've heard of it. I said, does it seem like something that you think you would like? They'll think about it. And they go, yeah, I like dancing. Yeah, absolutely. Say, okay, would you like to go with me sometime? Again, easy. Will I go sometime? Sure, yeah, I'd like to go sometime. Say, perfect, why don't you give me your number? This Wednesday at 8pm There's a class and afterwards there's open dancing. We can go do that, right? It's only after three questions that I say this specific ask. And it just seems so natural at that point. If I were to jump in, sure, they might give me their phone number, they might sign up, but that instantly engages this, okay, this is kind of a big ask. Simply by walking people up the yes ladder, it feels much more smooth and natural. So use that one. And then of course, the sixth one, this one you're going to want to use pretty much everywhere. It comes from Robert Cialdini. It's so simple. I thought about not including it, but any list of persuasive phrases would not be complete without it. And it's the word because. When we hear the word because, we assume that whatever comes after because must be justifying what came before it. And I remember the first time that I used this. I just read it in the book. And I was in college and me and my buddies had this tiny couch where we'd watch South Park. And oftentimes what would happen is three of us could fit on the couch, four could fit kind of in a squeeze. But typically the last person in would have to sit, sit in this lousy chair. So I came in late one night and they were all started to sit and I said, you know what? I'm going to try this because thing out. And I said to my buddy, hey, Andrew, could you slide over? Because I'd like to sit on the couch. Now, normally the answer would be no, get on the chair. But I remember he didn't even blink. He said, sure, slid over, everyone scrunched together, and there I was sitting on the couch. Now, was it the most comfortable? No. But it felt cool to know that the power of because was on my side. So. So those are six phrases that you can employ today into your speech that will make you instantly more persuasive. This is not a substitute for truly understanding human psychology for developing empathy. But it is surprising, like I said, just how adding these can really make a huge impact immediately. So I hope that you liked these. If you did, make sure to subscribe to the channel. If you've not yet done so. We have videos every Monday and Thursday to teach you how to be your most charismatic and confident self. And if you're already subscribed, you you might want to hit the notification bell, because I realized that YouTube is not always notifying people of new uploads. And if you definitely want to hear of it, that's the way subscribe just doesn't do it anymore. So I hope that you enjoyed this video. If there's any suggestions, let me know in the comments and I will see you in the next one.