6 Small Things That Dramatically Boost Your Charisma

It is often the littlest things in life that make the biggest impact. And the same is absolutely true of your charisma. It's tiny little actions that over time lead to people feeling like you have a truly magnetic personality. And that's why in this video I want to give you five small things that you can do to dramatically boost your charisma. Now, I don't normally get to post videos on Saturdays, but we are this week thanks to our sponsor, Paramount Pictures and the movie Downsizing. So if you have not yet seen the previews, this is a movie that is starring Matt Damon, Kristen Wiig, Christoph Waltz, and, and it's all about downsizing your life in the case of the movie, literally in order to be more altruistic to the people around you. And that is going to be the theme of this video, as you will see. So if you would like to check out the movie Downsizing, go ahead, click the link in the description below. You can buy your tickets through us and it will support the channel and also be a fun thing to do. So the first thing in the spirit of downsizing is going to be downsizing your gift. And this is the greatest gift idea I have heard for the holidays. You will blow people away with this one. And I have to give total credit to Mikey for this one. So the idea is that rather than going and buying the most expensive new thing, the car, the jewelry, whatever it is, you simply go out and get a notebook or a tiny little journal. And for a week each day, what you do is you pick the person you'd like to give it to and you write down what you are grateful for about them. And you can take a new prompt every day. So day one, maybe you'll go in and just write down some of your favorite times that you shared together. Day two, maybe you draw a picture of a couple of those times. Day three, maybe you write down the emotions that they make you feel and just the small things that they've done in your life that they might not have known had a huge impact on you. At the end of this, if you take 15, 20 minutes each day, you've got a little gratitude journal that is personalized to someone that you care about. And I promise you, if you give this to that person, they will appreciate it far more than anything that you can buy in a store. So that is an easy way to spend just a little bit of money and have a huge impact on other people. The second thing that we want to do for again, it's the holiday season right now. And this isn't, I admit, directly tied to your charisma, but it makes other people feel wonderful. So I'm including it. And that is to something I did many years ago, which is take the clothes, the toys, the stuff that you have in your house and find an outlet or a charity that you can get rid of it from your clutter in your closet and give it to them. Now, I did this when I moved from Brazil. I've been living pretty much with everything I could own that fit into a single suitcase since then. But I have to tell you, the freedom that you get for not necessarily having to have all this stuff in your house is amazing for you. But. But also, there's people out there that can use the clothes that you're having. It is cold in a lot of the United States, so if you have spare clothes that you can give or toys that you haven't played with in 10 years, give those away. Other people appreciate it, and it just frees you up in your life. So I want to move now to conversational tips, the kind of stuff that you guys are used to getting from us, because I recognize we don't often talk about charity, but tis the season. So these are things that you might get to do in your holiday party, if you have one. And again, I want to keep the focus on other people because so often we talk about ways to put ourselves in the spotlight, which is great, but sometimes it's nice to do that for other people because it makes them feel good. And, of course, they appreciate you for it. So the third tip is going to be to pick the shyest person in the group that you find yourself in. Maybe you know, a relative that is this person, this was me when I was growing up. And you're going to pick that person, and you are going to make it a point to go up to them at the holiday party or wherever you find yourself and ask them what they're excited about. Now, I know that if someone had come up to me and asked me, I wouldn't really have known what to do because I wasn't very communicative way back in the day. But I did have uncle, and a particular uncle who did this and always made me feel seen and special. And to this day, he's my favorite uncle. So if you want to go ahead and do that for someone, they might not be able to verbally share everything, what they're totally excited about. They might just give you a few words. But I promise you, if you ask them what they're excited about, you ask them why they're excited about it. You ask them to tell you a little bit more, just a few questions about it. They will feel so seen and heard. And it's just a little thing that you can do to make someone feel fantastic. And they'll probably love you forever for it. The fourth thing that I'm talking about in this video is something that I came up against very recently. And it's something that is small, that I've seen people do very wrong even when they don't intend to. And the way that it came up for me is I was speaking to someone and I guess they did this wrong, which made me feel completely like A, like they did not like me, and B, like I didn't like them back. And it was the way that they listened. There was a couple things that went into it. I was speaking and this person was eating food, so they were facing away from me. So they were like this while I was facing them. And they didn't really ever glance back in my direction. They just kind of nodded their head. The second thing that they did was they were pretty stone faced. I'd say something, crack a joke, and they just go, mm, yeah. And it seemed like they were in a rush to recompose their face to neutral with me. And also the tonality that they expressed was just completely flat. So I got the impression that this person did not like me because they were not actively listening. So things that you want to do that are going to make the people that you're speaking with feel like you're engaged, obviously pay attention. But I actually found out later this guy was paying attention. He just didn't know how to show it. So one, face them so huge. Two reassuring looks. This is smiling from your smile. Smiling from your eyes. You can see my eyes change when I smile. So allowing your face to be expressive. And three, there's these little verbal cues that we give to show people that we are listening to them. And a very simple one that my friend does all the time, and I appreciate it, is when I've said something he agrees with, he just goes off totally, totally. And that simple word lets me know that he's on board. So you can pick whatever word works for you, but that kind of active listening goes a long way. The fifth thing that I want to share with you is actually from the same person. And it is so powerful that it took me from feeling like he didn't like me and therefore I didn't like him, to actually feeling a really strong connection with him. And it is supporting the dreams of the other person. Now, the way this came up is that later in the day I was hanging out with a group of people and it came up that I played music that I hate. There was a guitar there, and they're like, you got. You should sing a song. I was very nervous, as I get, as I tend to be when I'm asked to play music in front of other people. There was about 20 people there, and I did. I played a song. People rocked out, seemed to have a good time. But I was very quick to want to get rid of the guitar and put it down because it was out of my element for me. And as I was going to put the guitar down, he said, no, no, no, no, no. Play one more song, man. That was amazing. You have to play one more. And in that moment, I felt like I loved him. It was actually incredible. And what I've realized is that there are people in our lives that it's very obvious have something that they're passionate about that they're maybe not totally certain other people will support. And if you go to their social media profiles, you'll see that there's people trying to start blogs, you'll see that there's people that are trying to start music careers. They're writing, they're taking photos, they're trying to start a new business, Whatever it is. If you want to do something small that is incredibly altruistic, right? That's the theme of this video, right? If you want to do that, the simplest thing that you can do is reach out to them and tell them that you support what they're doing. You don't even necessarily have to love their art. But if you say to them, as many people did to me, or actually not many, it was very few at the beginning. Most people didn't. When I started charisma on command, most people said, you're crazy, you're quitting your job. That's dumb. I think you're out of your mind. But there were a few, and Ben even remembers them that they boosted in our minds as friends who said, you know what I mean? I just have to tell you, man, it's so cool that you are chasing your dreams. And I think that's amazing. When you do that for someone, you find a way to support their dreams. They instantly will feel a bond for you. So again, just another small altruistic thing that you can do in the spirit of the holiday season and of course, our sponsor downsizing. So I hope that you have enjoyed those five little things that you can do take them with you, use them in the holiday parties and I will say one more you get a bonus today which is not for the holiday party but if there's a service person in your life right somebody that you order food from or you see often or some guy who is the doorman at your apartment building please please remember their name and just say something kind plus their name. It goes so far to humanizing these people that most people in the world do not treat like humans they treat as functions of their job. So that's your bonus. Sixth tip I hope that you enjoyed this video. I will have a new video I believe on Star wars this Monday so if you want to see that make sure to subscribe. If you want to see the movie downsizing click the link in the description and you can get your tickets there. And of course I hope you like this video and I will see you in the next one.