Energizing Questions: Look Charming Without Saying Much

Some people mistakenly think that to be charismatic, you have to be loud and energetic all the time. But that isn't true. So today you'll learn seven tricks to be charismatic and make a great first impression, even if you're quiet. We'll do this by breaking down some clips of Chris Pine, since he's both soft spoken and incredibly likable. The first thing to consider is what are the benefits of being loud that you may be missing out on if you're quiet? One is that it's easier to grab attention in conversation, especially in groups. But there is another way you can do active speaking. Sync hand gestures with your words. Watch this clip of Chris to see what this looks like.

It's a high pitched, fast paced play, so there's no breaks. No breaks, no. And our director was constantly saying, no breaks, no breaks. Then finally there's a pause. And then in this pause, I'm looking at the woman that I'm in love with and we're gonna reconcile in this moment of tremendous drama. And then from just stage left, you hear, louder, please.

Good hand gestures aren't random movements. You want to accent what you're saying. For a great example, watch Chris talk about learning the Scottish accent for his movie Outlaw King.

Look at it like a record and you're building grooves into the record. So once you put the note on the record, your brain and your mouth, because you've done it so many times, just play the record purposefully.

Using hand gestures also gives your hands something to do, which naturally cuts down on nervous fidgeting, making you look and feel more confident. One other thing you'll notice when Chris talks, he smiles with his eyes and speaks through a smile, which prompts people to smile and laugh with you.

And then I got chased down the street by a large.

You got chased down the street by.

A large man wearing a sock around his.

Really? So wait, I was shouting.

Shouting Captain Kirk as he was.

Smiling as you speak also naturally changes your vocal tone in a positive way. So even if you're just having a phone call, you can make a better impression if you smile before you speak. This is why salespeople have the phrase smile and dial. Notice in this next clip how the audience laughs when Chris starts to smile with his eyes and get more animated with his face. What is it like to play a superhero's boyfriend? You don't see that very much.

It's great.

Do you have powers?

None. Absolutely none.

One thing today's video will hopefully make clear, just because someone speaks quietly doesn't mean they're boring. Just listen to Gal Gadot describe what it's like to work with Chris.

That was the dynamic, right? I'm being the serious one and then he makes fun out of me.

Then she talks like goofy and then, then we laugh.

So it was pretty. It was a pretty easy task.

That playfulness is especially important in the first few minutes of your conversation because people have a heavy first impression bias. They form their first opinions about you in the first minute or two and those first opinions can be very sticky. So in social settings, try to be playful and fun in the first few minutes of meeting someone. You don't have to have a great stand up comedy set to open a conversation. Any playfulness at all can help set a more positive tone.

All right, I got my notes. Here you go. You look the part, Chris. There, you're on it. I looked at old enough for those glasses. I've always wanted to do that.

If being playful seems intimidating, you can also simply lead with a little more energy and enthusiasm.

I got that. I have this long hair now. I feel really bad. Yeah, you're like a young Kenny Rogers.

It's really. Many quiet people do the opposite of this. They begin overly serious and low energy and by the time they start being playful in a conversation, the other person has already made up their mind about them. Now, while speaking through a smile and being playful help you leave a positive first impression, the mirror of this is also true. You can make people like you simply by being a likable listener who laughs easily. You'll make the other person feel good and they'll enjoy speaking to you. Notice in this next clip how Chris can make co star Gal Gadot laugh just by laughing himself.

The Muscarian part was shot in Italy, which was amazing and beautiful and tasty. And I'm telling about the experience.

It's a great adjective. It's tasty.

It was.

Compare that to this next clip of Chris where he doesn't smile, laugh or speak with his hands. If this were the only clip you'd ever seen of Chris, what would your impression of him be? Honor roll or detention hall?

What do you think?

Honor roll or detention hall? I think honor roll. There it is. Chris Pine. Would you rather do an impression or tell a joke?

Oh, an impression. Go and do the impression.

Let's get it out. One important caveat here. Your goal is not to fake laugh. The goal is to laugh freely whenever you do find something funny. Unfortunately, many people unconsciously limit their laughter, repressing it to a quick chuckle or even just an Exhale. The good news if you are someone who struggles to laugh is that laughing is a habit and it gets easier the more you do it. So one trick. If you want to laugh more easily, watch something you know will make you laugh right before going out. This will prime you to be in a better state and to laugh more in conversation. Ultimately, the goal is to be confident enough to show your genuine emotional reaction. In Chris case he does not force himself to laugh with a group every time they laugh.

Two new cast members so hilariously, effortlessly.

We were terrifying. But if Chris does find something funny, he definitely lets it show summer break.

Well, actually something, something. We got into this with so much ambitious and I think the movie is.

Why are you laughing?

I was overwhelmed.

It shows confidence if you're willing to show your genuine reaction even when it makes you stand out from the people around you. There's one more trick you can use to make people like you without you needing to do much talking. Ask energizing questions. A question is energizing if it's open ended, meaning not a one word answer and about a topic that excites the other person. This next clip is a great easy example. Graham Norton asks Sally Fields a question about her memoir. That leaves her a little tongue tied. Sally. So Chris asks her a question she's more excited to answer.

There's so many personal things in here and I understand the urge to figure it out in your head and to write it down, but it is weird that then yobs like me can know it and people will read this and know these things about you.

Yeah, yeah.

What compelled you to write it? That is what compelled you to write it.

While today's video has hopefully shown you that you can be charismatic even if you're quiet, there are a few times when even the quietest person would benefit from being a bit louder. While one time this is helpful is in very loud environment settings like parties and another is when someone cuts you off. When someone tries to speak over you. It can be helpful to raise your voice to recapture attention. But once you've recaptured attention, you can return to your quieter, more natural speaking voice. For example, listen to Chris talking to Jimmy Kimmel about the time a supposed fan confused him with multiple other celebrities.

That's a weird one.

Not quite, but thank you.

I'm sure I remember that for the rest of my life. Well, at least he's a handsome guy. And then he said so. Then he stopped me. He's like, Joey Lawrence. I said, no, no thank you, no. He's like, come on man, tell me who are you? Who are you? I was like Chris Evans, Captain America.

Now for everything in this video and everything related to Charisma in general, knowing intellectually what to do is one thing. Having the confidence to go out and do it is another. If you want the quickest way that I know of to take both your confidence and charisma to the next level, then you may like our program Charisma University. Rather than tell you about the program myself, here are a few things that our past members have said. I had confidence in some areas but not in others. Then Crism University changed that for me. It has helped me unlock the confidence that comes with knowing that I can go into any social situation and crush it. Another member wrote in I've always been bad at expressing myself in situations that weren't one on one. In conversation. I'd find myself hesitant to speak or I'd get caught in my own head overthinking things. After cu, I am now way more confident in saying what I think. I feel much happier all the time. I was even able to talk to a woman I've had a crush on for about a year and made a great first impression. Overall, I love this course and I keep going back to it when I need a refresher on the Daily Action modules. And lastly, one member writes, thank you so much for this program. After going through Charisma University, I've made more friends, have higher self esteem and can more easily talk to people I don't know. I've solidified my values and I know who I am. The program comes with a 60 day money back guarantee so you can take the entire course and if you don't think it's worth every penny, you can give yourself a full refund from right inside the program. If you want to see if Charisma University is right for you, click the link on screen now or in the description below. Either way, I hope you liked today's video and I look forward to seeing you in the next one.