Give Me 8 Minutes, And I'll Show You How To Get Real Dates From Tinder

With everything going on in the world, online dating is absolutely booming. And that means that more and more newbies are joining and more and more of the same common mistakes are being made all the time. You don't want to be that person because it means you're getting fewer matches and probably less likely to meet someone that you really like. So that's why in this video, I want to cover five of the most common mistakes people make on these apps and what you can do instead. So you wind up standing out from the crowd, you get more matches, and hopefully you really meet someone that you like. So the first piece comes down to the bio. Believe it or not, more than half of people on Tinder have a bio that is either completely empty, is just emojis, or is a quote that somebody else said. That's over half of people, which means that if you have anything better than that, you've instantly stood out from the crowd in a very positive way. Now, none of us are naturally good at writing these bios, but there is a structure that you can take right now and it will instantly spruce it up. It's got three parts. The first piece is something funny. The second piece is going to be something interesting. Your values, what you like. Just talk about yourself in an authentic way. And then the third piece is a call to action that gives someone something that they could say to you if they wanted to start a conversation. So the first piece, going to something funny. Just as an example, my friend, I believe, married someone that he met with this. So he doesn't mind me sharing. He used to have something that said, didn't work out for me on farmersonly.com or mulletpassions.com so giving this a try, said that he got a lot of initial messages that thought that that was very funny. Now, I'm not saying steal that one. If you all steal it, it's not gonna work. But just anything funny. Tongue in cheek, works here. One line plenty. The second piece, share your values. What do you like? What is interesting about you? What cool hobbies do you have? What projects are you working on? Anything that lets them know what is cool, interesting, fun, engaging, about you, works here. A lot of people make the mistake of talking about all the things they don't like. Trump voter swipe left, Hillary voter swipe. This isn't the place for it. Talk about what you're interested in. And then the third piece is a little fun filter that gives the person something to say to you. So I used to have in my bio, basically, what was it if you're a fan of salsa dancing or red wine, hit me up. We'll probably get along. And so a lot of the first messages that I would receive would be related to red wine. What kind of wine do you like? Or where do you salsa dance? And it just made conversation flow much more easy. So take this. Gimme. A lot of people are blowing it. The second piece comes down to photos, right? I'm not going to say be more attractive, right? That's. That's for a different channel that talks about style and fashion. But a lot of people are blowing it simply with the quality of their photos. And I mean this. If you went to Facebook and you had a photo with a bunch of friends and you cropped in on you and it looks like it was shot on a potato in the dark, unfortunately, you're blowing it. People. Just when you're looking at something for a short period of time, the actual quality of the photo has a lot to do with whether it appears attractive. So take the time to either select good photos or it's really easy nowadays. Get a friend. Or if you have one that has the new iPhone with portrait mode, snaps and photos, they look so much better. The second piece is having photos that don't tell a story about you. Right? A lot of people might just have photos where they're sitting around watching tv. It's a couple of friends, and that's fine for one or two, but you want to have an idea of who this person is. So a really good question is what adjectives would I use to describe myself in this photo if I didn't know myself? And if you're happy and you feel like these are accurate ways, like you see yourself with your family, so you're family oriented or you're playing sports, okay, you're interested in sports, you're athletic, or you've got music, so you're musical. Find something that tells a story about you that's going to go so much farther than the generic me with my friends, me with my friends, me with the cocktails, yada, yada, yada, doesn't work nearly as well. The third piece comes down to that opening message, and you can guess it. What is the most common opening message that everybody sends? Hey, do not send. Hey, do not send. Hey, women, you are particularly guilty of this. I know because anytime that I look at Bumble and all the initial messages will be, hey, this does not work. It communicates to the other person that they are going to have to put in all of the work to make this Conversation interesting. And usually the hey is paired with a profile that's very sparse, which just makes it even harder. And in my own case, I know there's been people that I otherwise would have been physically attracted to. There's like, I can't. I'm not going to put in all the effort to figure something out about this person who doesn't appear to want to try. So in your case, you don't have to be a witty genius. All that you have to do is have some sort of a question that's going to be engaging for that other person. And it's not, how was your day? It's not, how is quarantine going? None of that. It's got to be something different. So what I would ask is, are you a fan of salsa dancing? And I would often get the response, or I have been or I haven't been, but I would love to know more. And then we could start conversation. And when it did come time for us to hang out, if we got along, I could invite them out salsa dancing. It made sense. So find what that question is for you, and it can relate to a hobby that works. Excellent fourth piece, staying in messaging. Right? If you are staying in whatever app that it is in, you have to consider, even if you're getting along really well via messages, that you're staying in a bucket of other people, 99% of whom that person won't ever meet. So think of it. If you look at anybody's matches and take any woman who is out there, she's probably got a ton of matches on these apps. They all occupy a spot in her brain that is not very important. So when you switch and you move to social media and you're messaging on Instagram or you're texting, all of a sudden that text message or that message on Instagram stands out in a way that connects so much more to her. You are instantly more than the other throngs of people that are in there that are just sending her messages, and most of whom she will never meet or speak to. So after you guys have a bit of rapport, you can say something to the effect of, hey, I prefer not to message on here. Here's my Instagram. Feel free to add me there. This also gives the person a chance to look at you beyond the six photos that you have in that tiny bio and to learn more about who you were today, but also potentially five years ago. And that makes people feel a lot better when it comes time to deciding if they want to get to know you more or meet up. This brings us to the fifth point and one that is absolutely put on pause for social distance and quarantine. This is not a piece of advice that is a mistake anymore, but it often is is just messaging and messaging and messaging, right? If you do this over and over and over again, eventually someone will ask this person out, they'll go out with them, and all of a sudden they'll be up here, the person that they spend time with, and you'll be here, the person that is still pen pals with them, right? You need to eventually find some way to spend time with them. And that's why I like to start with the salsa dancing thing. When it was time to hang out, it was very obvious what we could do together. Now, given that social distancing is an appropriate thing to do, this can be switched to a phone call. Quite frankly, you can do this as long when this is over too. Getting on the phone with someone also puts you in a different bracket in their brain than everybody else who they've only messaged with. And it also gives you a chance to see if you like them, see if they like you back. Works out much, much better. So just don't text forever, get on the phone or find an opportunity to meet up.