How Attractive Men Start Conversations With Women

In today's video, we'll go through common mistakes men make when talking to women they're attracted to and what you can do instead to stop being boring and immediately be more attractive. We'll do this by breaking down some clips of Craig Ferguson so that you can get reactions like this when you're flirting.

You're so cute. I forgot how much I loved you.

I love it.

You're. And you see, it's all coming back to you. Let's keep talking about sex.

While Craig has clear advantages like being a famous TV host, a lot of what he does can be done by anybody. The the first habit to learn if you want to be more attractive is to stop thinking of conversation purely as an exchange of information. Instead, focus on having fun and creating emotional spikes. There are two easy ways you can do this. The first is by answering her questions with fun, funny answers before you give your real answer. Here's a quick example from Craig, just so you can see how stupidly easy this is to do you know what.

A wombat is, right?

A wombat.

A wombat? Yeah.

Is that a lady bat?

Especially when you're meeting someone for the first time, the first few minutes of conversation can be pret. Predictable. What do you do? Where are you from? Things like that. The majority of men give straightforward, boring answers so you can set yourself apart by making her laugh. For instance, watch how Craig handles the predictable where are you from? Conversation.

I'm from Scotland. Jersey.

Here's one more example. Notice this time how Craig starts giving a real answer, but then thinks better of it and switches to a joke.

Charlotte knows how to do this.

And how did you find it?

I liked. Well, I got off the airplane and there it was. But then.

If you make someone laugh by saying something playful, unexpected, they'll instantly like you more. It really is as simple as giving a funny, obviously fake answer before giving your real one. A good tip when flirting is to answer someone's first small talk question playfully, and at least 25% of the small talk questions after that. This isn't always necessary to build attraction, but it's especially helpful if you aren't sure how to answer those basic where are you from? What do you do? Questions in an interesting way. You can also shift boring small talk into a fun, flirty conversation by responding playfully to her answers.

Are you a lawyer, then?

No, I'm a paralegal.

Well, that's the same as a lawyer, except you jump out of airplanes. Right? What kind of doctor is your sister?

Internal medicine.

Internal medicine. So all her Work is done indoors.

Most men don't respond playfully like this when they're talking to someone they're attracted to. In fact, most men make a second common mistake here, being unbelievably excited about everything she says. Listen to these next clips for some examples of this. Have you ever been here? I haven't.

I have not either.

So I'm a full time sister student, mechanical engineering.

Exciting.

Oh, that's awesome. I was a dancer. I danced in college. More for fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was a writer for a magazine year.

That guy seems like a super nice guy. But unfortunately, just responding positively is often not enough to build attraction. That isn't to say that showing excitement is bad. In fact, in our first Craig video, we covered how he often interacts in a positive, high energy way. But when you react to everything she says with an overly positive response and it can be a turn off, you risk becoming predictable. And depending on your delivery, you can seem fake or desperate. What sets Craig apart and what can set you apart is something called push pull, where you mix that strong positivity with some playful teasing that makes you both laugh. For example, watch how Craig bounces between compliments and teases with Alice Eve at different parts of their conversations.

I'm becoming weird, I think as a result of being an actor. It's a weird makeup.

You went weird before.

I was just a girl before.

You've never been just a girl. Have you ever been to Germany?

I'm buying this off the car off a German person.

That doesn't qualify you as having visited the country.

You can even do this in the same sentence, bouncing quickly between teases and compliments.

This one is filthy. Book her again immediately. I love your dress, by the way. It's very. You can see through bits. It's a little tableclothy, but thick. Look at me. Why do you keep doing that to me? You're freaking me out.

I'm putting.

Yeah, you've already done that. You did that when you did the knee. That's right. You see me move back like that, crawling away. No, no, I.

Resistance is hurting me.

No, it's.

Listen, it has to be.

This doesn't mean you have to rush to chase every compliment with a tease. Just keep it in mind so you don't become too one dimensional. If you aren't sure exactly how to playfully tease someone while flirting, you can steal an easy style of teasing from Craig. Say cliche phrases that are normally only said by women. To men, this type of spontaneous roleplay can make you both laugh. And jokingly reframe that. She's the one hitting on you.

So show me what you got.

No, you can't put me on the spot like that. Say, show me what you got. You gotta work up to it a little bit. Buy me dinner. Don't just run in and mush my hair.

Come on, Jeff. I like your snake cup.

Thanks a lot. Yeah, it's awesome, isn't it? Do you have. Do you like. Hey, no, dinner first.

I just wanted to see it.

You want to see my fruit basket?

I just wanted to hear you say that.

Well, fruit basket. I mean, don't rush. Straight for the fruit basket. There has to be conversation first.

If all you do is follow the advice already in this video, you will have more women who find you attractive. But there's one more thing Craig does in conversation to create chemistry. This is optional, but it's a huge part of what makes Craig attractive. Create an environment where women feel safe being flirty and sexual. As a great example of this, watch this next clip with MMA fighter Gina Carano. She's only been talking to Craig for five minutes, and you can see even she's surprised at what she's willing to say.

It's honest, it's real. It's kind of like you can't really hide, you know, anything in the cage. It's just real. You're, you know, two people going at it.

Yeah, it's kind of like sex.

No, I'm just kidding.

Hey, whatever way you get the job done.

Gene is clearly embarrassed by the joke, but she was willing to go there because Craig goes there first. And Craig is great at introducing sex into the conversation without it seeming creepy. One reason it doesn't seem creepy is his obvious comfort with the topic. Notice in these next two clips how his tone and body language convey that to him. Talking about sex isn't a big deal.

Is that weird, kissing a girl because you're heterosexual?

I am, yeah. Not really.

Like, if I had to kiss a dude because I'm heterosexual, I'd be like, oh, this is kind of awesome. No, I mean, I.

The zebra situation you're checking out.

Oh, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no. Don't. Don't hurt my nipple. You. Cause you know, I'm sensitive. Are you into snm? I'm not really.

That's a good segue.

I'm just saying something very important here is how non judgmental Craig is. He doesn't shame women for their sexuality or kinks now, because introducing sex into the conversation does run the risk of seeming Creepy. You need to calibrate to the other person you're setting and how the conversation has gone so far. A great way to test out the topic is with playful misinterpretation. You jokingly misinterpret that they are the ones that started talking about sex. For a quick example of this, listen to Craig talk about Scotland with Michelle Monaghan.

It's so beautiful there.

Yes, it is. Yeah.

Yeah. Every time I think about it. Yeah, that's true. And we were. I know. Oh, my gosh. Well, I was there during summer, too, so it goes on all night long.

You can even playfully misinterpret someone was being sexual just by pausing and giving them a funny look.

Do you identify with downstairs? Pete would doubt Abby were servants or upstairs who are rather terribly botched.

I don't watch it, but I've been both upstairs and downstairs. I'm going to answer the question now.

All right.

Oh, do you.

Oh, yeah.

Do you cream?

One thing you'll notice, Craig rarely makes a joke about them having sex together. His playful misinterpretations just introduce the topic of sex lightly while also making her laugh. Then she can decide to simply laugh and move on to a new topic or double down on the joke and take it further.

It is Valentine's Day, so you can squirt whatever you want.

No, you can't.

No, you can't cream berries.

No.

Anything goes.

No.

Why not? No. I'll have to ask for that next time.

No, don't ask for it. It's very, very painful indeed.

But I might like a little pain.

Well, we're out of time here.

I was so fast. No, actually, I mean, no. Not fast. Not fast. It's okay. Don't be embarrassed.

I was excited.

Again, this isn't to say you have to do this. It's simply a habit that Craig has that works for him. Ultimately, this video is a set of options for you as you learn to be more attractive in conversation. Model Craig in whichever way seems most fun to you until you've built the habit of dropping your filter, having fun and finding people you genuinely enjoy flirting with and being around. Now, that said, there's a lot going on in this video, and building new habits can be hard. It can be tough to remember to put any of this into practice, especially if you're speaking with someone who makes you nervous. That's why we put together our program, Charisma University. It's a step by step, 30 day program that tells you exactly what to do every day to take what you're learning and turn it into unthinking habit. So by the end of the program, you radiate confidence and charisma naturally, without even thinking about it. Rather than tell you about the program myself, here are a few things that past members have said Life Changing in six Weeks I went from being socially awkward with few friends to the life of every event that I attend. I also went from having serious girl problems to dating the girl of my dreams. This next guy improved both his social life and career, he says. I had just moved to a new city for work after college. I always had trouble interacting with people outside of my hobbies and social circle, and it was even more difficult to connect with people while working from home. By sticking with Charisma University, I've had the confidence to make groups of new friends and land a promotion. CU has changed the way I see people and connect with others, and I'm truly thankful for that. And this last one comes from a guy who's been making new relationships. Before going through Charisma University, I didn't know how to bring energy to a group and I was terrible at meeting new people. Everything in my life has improved after cu, from loving myself and others more to creating and developing amazing relationships. The program is literally guaranteed to change your life. That means you can take the entire course, and if you don't think it's worth every penny, you you can give yourself a full refund from right inside the program. If you want to see if Charisma University is right for you, click the link on screen now or in the description below. Either way, I hope you enjoyed this video. I really appreciate you taking the time to watch it and I hope to see you in the next one.