How One Small Insecurity Can Grow Into Narcissism

Elon Musk.

Elon Musk, richest man in the world.

You're actually like a world class, incredible video game player. Yeah, I have a lifetime of playing video games.

Even if Elon Musk doesn't really do much work as a CEO, he likely wouldn't have enough time to play this.

Elon Musk is lying about being good at video games.

My understanding is that he's been paying good players to play under his username.

It's very clear from the live stream he did, it's not actually his character.

And this is the worst thing possible. And that would be a fake gamer. The richest, most powerful man arguably in the history of the world was just caught pretending to be better at video games than he really is. And people have dunked on Elon, understandably. I guess he's just that much of a God gamer. He isn't better than every single other person on the planet.

He's got all the money in the world and all of the insecurity imaginable.

But the psychology behind this is genuinely sad and it's something we need to explore because not knowing about it can ruin your life and lead to malignant narcissism. But before we get into the psychology, first the context. Just two weeks after a game called Path of Exile dropped, Elon livestreamed himself playing with a ridiculously high level character. In fact, it was in the top 10 across the world. And he repeatedly referred to this character as if he had gotten him to that point.

And I've died several times trying to get there. It's kind of grueling to build a hardcore character. So I think if Perseverance dies, that'll be my last character. My staff is only level 62, so I haven't been able to find a better staff, you know, in over 30 levels.

Now the problem with this claim is that getting that high in level in the short window the game had been out would have required about 10 hours a day of continuous playing.

Yeah, so he's ranked in like an absurdly high level in these games.

A level that can only get to. It's if you play straight, like 40 hours, like a week, you know, in two days. Something that would have been very hard for anyone, let alone a man running multiple billion dollar companies and preparing for a presidential trans.

Elon, wait. Elon, are you logged into the game? Elon, are you logged into the game? Wait, explain.

And if you needed any more proof that Elon is 100% boosted, he was playing the game today inside of maps blasting while simultaneously On a X space, multiple streamers caught this immediately and exposed Elon for not only stretching the physical limits of time and space, but also for generally not knowing much about the game. He was supposedly one of the best.

In the world at there are four things there. This one has a real risk of dying. Four things. What are those things? Four things. It's four things, dude. Oh, by the way, I'm completely convinced he didn't play the character.

Then when a streamer named Asmongold picked this story up and commented on it.

I'm a huge fan of Elon Musk. I really like Elon Musk a lot. But this is embarrassing and very silly.

Elon insulted him on X, said he was not his own man, implying that his video editor somehow had sort of control over him. And then mysteriously, Asmund's blue check disappeared on X, though it did come back shortly after people pointed this out. And then after about two weeks of this criticism, Elon claimed over DMs on X that of course he boosted his account and that he never claimed otherwise, which is technically true. He just did this.

And I've died several times trying to get there. And I've died. It's. It's kind of grueling to build a hardcore character, so I think if Perseverance dies, that'll. That'll be my last character. That'll be my last character.

This story has captivated a lot of people, but I think there's something critical that has been left out, the psychology behind it all, which is important not just for Elon, but for you, because if you're not aware of it, it can literally ruin your life. And it's the sad pipeline from shame to toxic shame to narcissism. Now, shame is the feeling we get when our actions don't align with our values or the values of our group, and it feels uncomfortable. And that discomfort is what calls our attention to the need to make a change either in our behavior or to the environment we're in. We just leave the group. Toxic shame is the pervasive belief that you are not enough, can never be enough, and must endlessly work to not have that terrible truth be discovered by anyone. The belief follows this pattern. First, I did something bad, therefore I am bad, therefore I must hide. Some people hide in a very typical way. They avoid being noticed, refuse to speak up, and don't pursue relationships or their goals, so they can never be rejected or fail. Other people, though, hide in a very different way. They step constantly into the spotlight, but do it wearing a Mask of perfection. This brand of toxic shame will make them endlessly pursue more external success and validation. They'll focus more on image than on character. They tell lies that seem completely unnecessary from the outside and tie their well being to whatever their obsessive metric is, whether it's money, looks, fame or power. This makes them compulsively pursue things that don't make them happy. Because dropping that pursuit and facing the shame head on is even worse.

I hate that job anyway. I see why you just don't quit. Because I want to fit in.

The tendency to turn shame into toxic shame is often set in childhood when we experience some form of trauma and that makes us feel unlovable just the way we are. In Elon's case, he suffered serious abuse, both from his father and peers.

I mean, we lived in torture. It was a emotional, psychological torture, which growing up was just an inherently very violent place. I got punched in the face many times. I almost got beaten to death once. So many times.

Now, even if your trauma isn't that severe, almost everyone I know has a degree of toxic shame that they aren't fully aware of.

So?

So it runs in the background, often surfacing as overthinking and social situations or overreacting to perceived judgments and criticisms. The cruel irony here is that this makes us lose our ability to lovingly own our flaws, to poke fun at ourselves, or to take responsibility for our mistakes, which then tends to make the judgment from others even worse. And if you've been a fan of the channel, you know that the opposite of toxic shame, things like focusing more on your character than your reputation, owning your flaws, poking fun at yourself, feeling comfortable, building other people up. These are all key components of what drive your charisma. But it can get even worse. If toxic shame isn't addressed head on, it can fester into malignant narcissism. That is where the pattern gets one more step. I hide by feeling superior to everyone. At this point, the shame is so unbearable that it becomes almost fully unconscious. This person loses awareness of the tremendous amount of pain and self hatred that they're carrying. But it doesn't make it go away. It means that they begin to externalize that pain onto others, sometimes with no provocation.

Get a goddamn job, Al.

And if someone, purposely or not, activates that unconscious core of shame, the narcissist will do everything they can to destroy them. Patrick Bateman is a heightened but quintessential expression of this pipeline.

I see they've omitted the pork loin with lime jello. We should have gone to Dorsia. I could have gotten us a table. Nobody goes there anymore.

So for your internal self esteem, your charisma, and the sake of everyone around you, you need to address toxic shame directly. That means changing your pattern from I did something bad, therefore I am bad, therefore I must hide to I did something I'm not proud of, therefore I'm learning, therefore I will take responsibility and make amends where I can. And there are many, many ways to approach this. But I want to give you just one practice you can do in 60 seconds. And it is genuinely magical if you do it with intention. Find a spot where you can be alone. You can do it right now if you want, or you can do it later tonight when you're alone in your bed. This won't take long. Then when you are there, put your attention in your chest, on your heart, and say these words out loud to yourself, taking as much time in between phrases as you need. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. This practice is based on the Hawaiian tradition known as ho'. Oponopono. And it might sound simple, but I don't know anything as close to magic words as these four phrases. I recommend you give it a try now and tonight as you lay in your bed. Seriously. But sadly, most people don't ever address their shame directly. And when I see someone like Elon so clearly acting it out, I feel sad and genuinely sorry for the pain that I know underlies those strange behaviors. And for everyone who has walked with that pain and let it out in ways that they're not proud of. And I count myself in that group, by the way. That doesn't mean that his or anyone else's externalization of that pain is justified. Totally the opposite. Victims easily become bullies, and they need to reflect and adjust when they drift in that direction. I just hope that Elon can grow in a way that decreases his shame and that he doesn't use his immense resources to build more of a wall against it. Because untreated, toxic shame will eat you alive.

And to see them casting stones in your direction, difficult.

Now, if you want shame or self doubt to play a much smaller role in your life, you might want to start by leveling up your confidence and charisma with our course, Charisma University. And rather than tell you about the program myself, here's just a few things that past members have said. I had confidence in some areas, but not in others. Then Charisma University changed that for me. Since the beginning of the program, I've seen noticeable changes in my life. It's helped me unlock the confidence that comes with knowing that I can go into any social situation and crush it. Another member wrote, I've always been bad at expressing myself in situations that weren't one on one. In conversations, I'd find myself hesitant to speak or I'd get caught in my own head overthinking things. After cu, I am now way more confident in saying what I think. I feel much happier all the time. I was even able to talk to a woman that I've had a crush on for about a year and made a great first impression. Overall, I love this course and I keep going back to it whenever I need a refresher on the Daily Action modules. And lastly, one member wrote, thank you so much for this program. After going through Charisma University, I've made more friends, have higher self esteem, and can more easily talk to people I don't know. I've solidified my values and I know who I am now. The program is a step by step 30 day program and it is literally guaranteed to change your life. That means you can take the entire course and if you don't think it's worth every penny, you can give yourself a refund right from inside the program. If you want to see if Charisma University is right for you, you can just click the link on screen now or in the description below. Either way, I hope that you've enjoyed this video and I look forward to seeing you in the next one.