How To Be Effortlessly Popular

David Dobrik is a popular guy, not only with his massive audience, but also with very different types of friends, including his vlog squad buddies, Jason Nash, who is 20 years older than him, and the one and only John Stamos. You're John Stamos.

That's John Stamos.

So in this video, we're going to break down how you can get some of that insane popularity without being an inauthentic tryhard. Now, the most obvious piece of what makes David so appealing to so many people is surprisingly simple. He. He makes you laugh, and he does it by laughing and having fun himself.

What's that right in the bottom? I don't know. I can't get out of this one. I'm stuck here. They're brown. I don't know why I said it like that. I broke the hammer. Are you serious? This episode's gonna suck. What's up, guys? Welcome to my house tour.

And you can see that same principle of laughter making other people enjoy themselves to the extreme in David's vlogs, where there is an uproarious laugh every five to ten seconds. Seconds. Not only does laughter encourage other people to join in and enjoy themselves, but when you laugh at other people's jokes, you're essentially complimenting them without words. You're saying, hey, I think you're really funny. And people feel just as drawn to those who give hearty laughs as those who offer genuine compliments. So if you, in the back of your mind, think that there's some benefit to having a sophisticated sense of humor that only laughs at the most cleverly structured jokes, let that go. One particular thing that you might want to stop doing is insulting low brow humor. It's fine if you're not a fan of certain movies or YouTube channels, but don't comment on how dumb they may seem to you. Otherwise, you're just reinforcing that. Not laughing is cooler to other people. And in your own mind, instead, allow yourself to laugh at the dumbest lowbrow, silly jokes. And the more you let yourself go here, the better. The big open mouth belly laughs are some of the most endearing service here. It's so quick, it comes right to your table.

Oh, shit.

Oh, my God, that was fast. You don't need to respond literally to every statement in a conversation. For instance, in the next clip, David is talking to his co host about how he wishes he could be home in the evening to watch the Office with his kids. And David gravitates towards a humorous interpretation of what he just said. Like, they're really into the office right now, so they sit and watch the office.

So funny how they're into the office, but they both still call you daddy. I love the office. Me and my daddy. Watch it.

Now. These ideas may sound easier said than done, especially if a silly attitude doesn't come naturally to you. In that case, you might think that being your yourself means being serious all the time. But actually, you can loosen up your sense of humor while remaining your authentic self. The key is in priming or changing your environment so that it puts you in a more fun state prior to interacting with others. Part of the reason that some people are so serious is because they do this backwards, only priming themselves with serious topics. At home, they watch the news. At work, they discuss what needs to be done. And to relax, they maybe read nonfiction. So it's natural that when they interact with the doorman, the cashier, or even their loved ones, they're very serious and literal. Of course, there's nothing wrong with being serious, but you can become unbalanced if you never make space for some goofiness. This is why purposely taking just five to 10 minutes to prime yourself with the type of influence that you would like to embody is so important. I've personally loved watching clips of Chris Pratt because that sense of humor just clicks with me.

Back with an episode of what's my Snack? Last chapter. You ain't seen nothing. What's my snack? It's a carrot cake muffin. It's so good. More like what's my crack?

If you want to see more of how Chris maintains that playful sense of humor, you can check that out in our video breakdown of him by clicking the link here. Or if you want a never ending supply of jokes and good priming, David's vlogs can be a perfect primer before going out to socialize. Now, the second thing that you'll notice watching David is that his speaking contains a lot of high impact words. Specifically, it's almost always about what he loves.

I'm still like, in the best. I have the best job in the world, so I can't complain. I posted a Vine. This is actually a really cool story. Like, I'll still talk to my old high school teachers. Really? Like, yeah.

Who talks to their high school teachers?

Me. Like, I love it. I'll go back and visit them. What do you talk to them about? Like, you're. I was always so excited. Like, I was like on cloud nine. I was literally.

I was so in that in Palm Springs.

Like, it was the most exciting thing.

Even when David seems to have mixed feelings, he doesn't come down neutrally. He talks about what he hates and. And then what he loves at the same time.

And they're both great. Yeah, they're both great and they both suck.

The choice of these high emotion words might not seem like a big deal, but think of the person that you know who is always fine and thinks that things are okay. It's tough to care during your interactions with them, and they wind up coming across as having very bland personalities. Now, since you don't want to be a tryhard, the answer here is not to artificially inflate your language with superlatives that you don't really feel. It's to move conversation in the direction of things you feel strongly about, particularly those things that you strongly like. So for instance, if someone's asking get to know you questions about where or how you grew up and you're not really super passionate about those answers, transition instead to something that you do care about. And you can see David do that here, this case, towards the negative. But it seems like the kids always.

Have something more to prove. Yes.

Do you think that kind of fuels you?

Is that in your DNA, maybe subconsciously? I've never thought about that. I was never like, you know what I hate when I first moved to la and I would pull up to people in Lamborghinis and Ferraris and I'd be like, what do you do? Because that's just my favorite question to ask someone.

How do I get the Ferrari?

Yeah. And they go. And they go, work hard. And it was such a you answer.

And here he moves towards the positive. First YouTuber friend.

That's tough. I'm gonna change it to first viner friend Jack Dietrich, the guy who works here. Jack, come here. This is Jack. He actually helped me with my. He works here now. Genuinely kicked off my career, which is insane. Thank you, Jack.

Generally speaking, you'll want to go positive, but any emotion is going to be better than none. Now, if you've been a fan of the channel, this point might seem a bit odd to you because in videos with characters like James Bond or Don Draper, we talk about how their confidence is conveyed in their lack of emotional displays, in their non reactivity, like, here.

Yankee, hey, go home. Are they making fun of me? A little bit.

To clarify, the low reactivity that Bond and Draper are displaying is in the face of provocation, often from an adversary. Their stillness shows us that they aren't afraid things will go wrong and that no matter what, they will be okay, which is the core of confidence. But in many social situations, knowing that you will be okay looks more like David's enthusiastic self expression than it does like Bond's icy coolness. So even though it might seem different on the surface, speaking in enthusiastic superlatives displays that same deep inner confidence that that you might see in a James Bond or Don Draper. Ultimately, that person believes everything will be okay and that they can afford to be their goofy selves. Now a fantastic question that will guide you in the direction of these authentic, confident moments is to ask how would I behave in this situation if I wasn't afraid? And in many social scenarios, the answer is that you'd be more expressive, much like David. Also, if you're enjoying this video and want to make sure that you don't miss any of our new ones, you should hit the subscribe button and the notification bell. Now we're gonna be experimenting with different upload schedule and without the notifications turned on, you might miss some of those upcoming videos that I'm planning on. Like Hugh Jackman, Scarlett Johansson, and potentially one on the differences between sociopaths and psychopaths. Now the next thing that you notice about David is that he is very comfortable with self deprecating humor, often cracking up at himself as he tells his own embarrassing stories.

This is so stupid. It's gonna sound so bizarre. I open my mouth and I let the water pour into my mouth.

We've gone deeper into self deprecation in the past, for instance in the video with Chris Evans and Robert Downey Jr. But as far as being a try hard goes, self deprecation can be a tricky topic because sometimes it's used to te our own insecurities before other people can get to them. And in those scenarios it can be alienating to the people around us. But self deprecating jokes aren't necessarily a good or a bad thing on their own. Far more important is your mental state surrounding them. And the same question as before applies here. How would I behave if I wasn't afraid? If you find that you're avoiding self deprecating stories because you're afraid other people might judge you, then it can be worth opening up a bit and laughing at some of your goof ups. But of course you want to approach it with the same goal of enjoying those stories as David does. Even when he's laughing about how much he disappoints his personal trainer, he's having a blast.

He made me do push ups on my knees and I was like, dude, I'm not doing push ups on my knees. Started doing the push ups and I couldn't finish.

On the other hand, if you're only telling self deprecating stories because you're afraid someone else will point out one of your insecurities first, then you're better served to relax and not feel so rushed to preempt other people. Either way, the goal is simply to do what makes you have the most fun, not what you think will make others respond in the best way. Now, the fourth unmissable thing about David is that he puts the spotlight on other people. His friends have become the stars of his vlog while he stayed behind the camera. For the most part, he's given a dozen or more people a platform from which to launch their careers in entertainment. And he's taken sponsor revenue to give away more than 15 ridiculously expensive cars. Now, during this rise to fame, that definitely meant that David was in the shadow of some of the people that he worked with, particularly his ex, Liza Koshy.

It's funny because there's been websites that have written articles about me and they'll be like, these are his best videos and all of them are, Liza, I was at the airport today and a kid walks up to me, you look like Liza Koshees. That's what he said.

But despite spending some time in the shadow of others, David continued to spread credit to his friends.

My friends and the things around me. My friends, my friends are a big inspiration. I'm here in New York by myself and I'm crying to my friends that they're not here to film with me.

And people have noticed. For having a YouTube channel that's a vlog about yourself, you're one of the least narcissistic on camera. In real life, you're a total narcissist. Again, giving others the spotlight can be easier said than done, especially when it means that you receive less attention and maybe you don't get to keep that car for yourself. Which takes us to the subtle mindset that underpins everything we've talked about in this video. And it's learning to tap into the joy of others without having to become a people pleaser. You see, people pleasers can do all of the things that David does. They can make other people the spotlight, give away cars or gifts, and tell self deprecating stories. But for the people pleaser, this stems from a desire to be liked and accepted by others ultimately because they don't deeply like and accept themselves. And each one of those nice things that they do comes with a hidden expectation of how the other person needs to feel or behave in return. On the other hand, the person who's tapping into the joy of others might exhibit all those same behaviors, the gift giving, joke telling, laughing heartily at other people's jokes. But for them, it's not done to make other people like them more. It's done because witnessing the joy of others, participating in that, makes them happy in and of itself. And they're able to experience this vicarious joy because they've already given themselves the love and acceptance that many seek from outside of themselves.

I guess my slogan when it comes to money would be always give back. I know it sounds cheesy, but it goes without saying, once you have money, you're gonna want to give back and it's the best, best feeling.

Now, I can't say for sure what's going on inside of David's head, but I can tell you that arriving at this point can take a while, and the desire for validation rarely disappears completely. But you can move more and more in this direction over time. For instance by taking on projects that are enjoyable even if they're never successful with a wider audience, or simply by making a habit of looking into the mirror and saying I love you to yourself when you wake up in the morning. By taking steps like these and giving yourself love and acceptance, you'll start to increase your inner confidence and then you'll naturally be able to make people like you, respect you, and want to be around you without trying too hard or being inauthentic. And if you want to fast track yourself to that deep, unshakable confidence, I highly recommend you check out our course, Charisma University. Charisma University is our step by step program that is guaranteed to make you more confident and charismatic. In just 30 days, over 5,000 people have already joined the program and had amazing results. And here's what just some CU members have said about the program and its impact on their lives. The first one says, I wasn't truly confident. I was constantly seeking validation and care too much about other people's opinions of me. But now my life has improved tremendously because of Charisma University. I find it way easier to connect with people, to have great interactions and be happy even if things don't go the way I want them to. Taking this course has been one of the most impactful decisions of my life. I can't recommend it enough. Now this next member writes how Charisma University instantly transformed his social life. He says, thank you guys so much for your work. I've instantly had results that seem insane. So many more meaningful connections. My friendships have improved and my interactions with total strangers are a new, exciting and fulfilling thing. I want to recommend this to everyone. This should be in our basic education system. And just one more I love the way that you lay out the charisma styles. Out of the five, I found that the authenticity style really resonated with me. I was super honest and authentic during the interview for my current job and I was interviewing my boss as much as she was interviewing me. I got the job and my boss still mentions my interview and honesty to this day. Now Charisma University also comes with a 60 day money back guarantee that is 100% for any reason whatsoever. That means that there's no risk on your part. Either you become more confident and charismatic or you can get every single penny back. So to find out more about Charisma University, click the link on your screen below or the link in the description. Either way, I hope that you've enjoyed today's video and I look forward to seeing you in the next.

Sam.