How To Deal With People Who Interrupt You

Have you ever been out in a group of people? You start to say something or tell a story, and then somebody cuts you off? Maybe it was a friend, but it really doesn't matter because whoever it was, all of a sudden you get stuck in your head. You don't know how to get back into conversation, and it can really SAP your confidence if this has happened to you. Today, I have good news because we are going to be sharing with you six tips to make sure that it doesn't keep happening. And in order to help me with this video, I am bringing in the other half of Charisma on Command and my best friend, Ben. Now, Ben has been with Charisma on Command since the very beginning. He's not been on camera because he's been doing a lot of the business stuff. But in order to hit our goal of making twice as much content, he is going to start sharing the content that he's been helping me with since the beginning. So in order to get this going, here is Ben.

So the first thing I see all the time is a misuse of pregnant pauses. Pauses are great. It can be a way to hook people that are listening, and it can create rapt attention on you and suspense, especially in stories. But you have to put your pauses in the middle of your sentences. If you just put all your pauses at the end of your sentences, you're creating an opportunity to get cut off. Especially in a group where everyone's excited. As soon as you break for too long and people think you're done talking, someone else is going to jump in. Not because they don't want to hear you, because they think you're finished. Okay, the second thing, Be excited. Now, humans have mirror neurons. That means that your listeners are going to reflect whatever emotion you are displaying when you're speaking. You could have the most interesting day in the world. But if when you tell people about it, you're boring and you're slow and you're not gesticulating and you're monotone, you're gonna lose the attention of everybody. So if you want to tell a story and you want people to pay attention to you, you have to act excited and you have to convey excitement. Third one, super obvious, but I see it all the time. Be loud. I don't mean shout, but don't whisper to, don't look down at your feet and you have to gesticulate. Be loud with your body and with your words just so that people can hear you, so that people aren't talking, not because they don't want to hear you, but because they don't even know you're talking, you're in a loud bar and only the people right next to you can talk. So a group of six becomes two groups of three. And now you feel like people aren't listening to what you have to say. Now the fourth thing, you have to act like you deserve to be hurt. It doesn't matter who it is, it can be Kevin Hart, Will Smith, the Rock. When they're in a group, especially an excited group of people, an interview or friends, whatever it is, a panel on a stage, people will want to talk, and so they'll be speaking. What they're saying will trigger something in the listener. Someone will jump in to interrupt. What happens is, for a brief moment in time, two people are speaking. Both really charismatic people, they just speak like they expect to be listened to. So they'll keep talking, they'll keep finish what they're saying and then stop and look at the person. If every single time that you're in a group, someone makes a noise, you stop talking and look at them, you're going to get destroyed. You're going to get interrupted all the time. So speak like you think you deserve to be heard. The flip side of this is it can be dangerous if you abuse it. So don't be a bully and do share the spotlight once you're done talking. And the fifth thing is, be tight. Don't ramble. Because if a story amazing in two minutes, but boring in five minutes, you have to keep it tight. Hit your spots, hit your punchlines, get your highs and lows, then be finished. A conversation isn't a monologue. You're not an actor on a stage, so you say your thing, but then let other people speak by keeping it tight. The truth is, how you speak is often more important than what you talk about, especially when it comes to group dynamics, captivating a group and not getting interrupted. But there are a couple things that if you do talk about them, you're even less likely to get interrupted and you're more likely to have everybody hanging on what you're saying. Now, I think there's three things that really can kill it and make sure that you never get interrupted. The first is talk about things that make people feel good, right? So this can be compliments, this can be stories that are fun, this can be things that are funny and have people laughing. If you have people that are listening to you feeling good, they're going to want to keep listening to you. If you talk about things that are boring or stressful or aggravating to hear about you, then obviously people are going to want to cut you off just to switch to something that's more fun for them, makes them feel good. Now, that doesn't mean that you can't complain, especially about something that's happening in your life that you want people to connect with you on or relate about, or, you know, you just want to get something off your chest. But instead of just coming to a group and dumping on them, just complaining, which nobody likes complainers. Wrap it in a story. Wrap it in something that's riveting. So if your boss did something shitty, go, oh, my God, you guys need to hear this. I walked into work today and buh, buh, buh, buh, buh. Now tell your story. After you've hooked people, tell them the ups and downs of your day, and create a listener experience that's more enjoyable. Even though what you're talking about isn't positive, the third thing is related to them, right? If you're in a group of people and you know they love sports or they love a certain TV show, or they love talking about philosophy, you talk about that thing, you're way more likely to have them engaged, right? If you grab a bunch of people that really like sports and you start talking about politics, or you grab a bunch of people that really like politics, you start talking about sports, you're going to lose the group. Now, there's a really easy way to kind of make anything that you're saying seem like it's for the group, and that's by just starting with a quick, oh, my God, you're going to love this. You say, oh, my God, you're going to love this. Then you go into what you're going to say. The listener feels like it's for them. They're going to be more engaged. One last thing that I really think is important to get across, it's not the end of the world if you get cut off. The truth is, in a group conversation, especially with a bunch of friends who are excited, everybody gets cut off. It can be some great conversations with an incredible dynamic of people jumping in and out and sharing with each other, right? If this happens to you all the time, then hopefully these six tips are helpful. Maybe one of them or two of them or all six of them resonate with you, and you can see how you're not doing that thing. But you're going to get cut off occasionally, and that's not the end of the world. So don't take it personally. It's not necessarily a reflection of you, it's just how group conversations go.

So I hope that you guys enjoyed those tips on how to not get cut off in groups of people, and I hope that you take those tips and use them because they really do work. Now, one of the things I'm extremely excited for is the fact that now we can make twice as much content because we have both and my brain working on creating it. And the good news is that means that we need your feedback, we need your advice. So if there's any topics that we haven't covered that you would like to see, write them in the comments. If there's any characters you'd like to see broken down famous people, let us know. In addition, this is one of Ben's first time on camera. He's done a lot of speaking from the stage, but really on camera, this is pretty much the first time for him. So if you have a feedback that you'd like to give him in the kindest way possible, please leave that in the comments below. Also, we gonna have a lot, a lot more content coming out on Instagram so if you want to follow us there. Arismaoncommand or you can follow my personal one where I do all kinds of random stuff including my attempt at becoming a musician. You can follow me. Arleyhoopert or Ben is a.m. benaltman if you enjoyed this video and you want more every single week now twice a week you can subscribe to our channel and I look forward to seeing you in the next video.