How To End An Awkward Conversation

How do you end a conversation without being rude and while still remaining charismatic? We talk a lot here about how to start conversations effectively and how to keep them going. But there are times where unfortunately you've got to get going and somebody keeps rambling on or this is just someone that you don't want to talk to and you would rather exit. So what do you say? What do you do in order to get out of that situation without being completely rude but without having to lie? That's we're touching on. And I want to give you one formula that you can use across the board. Social situations, networking events, random people on the street. This will work anywhere, you just have to know how to apply it. So I'm going to give you some examples afterwards. The formula has three parts. Part number one, you need to interrupt and interject. Quite frankly, the situation has arrived here because this person isn't picking up on subtle clues. They're not seeing that you're angling away from them. They're not hearing the hints that you've given that you are getting on your way. So you're going to have to interrupt their line of speech because typically it keeps going. The second piece is that you need to then say without having to justify what you're going to do instead of talking to them. This is kind of the magic piece. People think they need a good reason, they need to justify. Just say what you're going to do. And then the third piece is where you soften it. This is where you say the kindest thing that you can say to this particular individual that is still true. And that's the big piece. A lot of people lie here. They say, oh my God, we should totally hang out. And they have no intention of doing that. Not a good long term policy. I've talked about lying a lot, I won't belabor it here, but how can you apply this? So let's start with the first and easiest case. Someone that you like, right? You're late for work. A friend approaches, they start telling you about their weekend and you gotta go. But they're not stopping. What can you do? First you interrupt, you go, listen, I hate to do this, but I gotta run to work right now. It's been awesome to see you. I would love to do this again sometime soon, maybe this weekend. Shoot me a text, I gotta run back and forth. Take care, bye. Right, of course there's going to be a little bit of back and forth at the end. They say goodbye, shake their hand and you go, what went on there? You Interrupted. Listen. Unfortunately, it's normally only one or two words. Listen, hey, whatever it is, second piece, I'm going to run to work. You say what you're going to do, and in this case, you do have an excuse, which you can say, which is, I'm running late. And lastly, you say the nicest thing. And because this is someone you like, there's a lot of nice things to say you can arrange another time to see them. They say, face, everybody feels good. Second scenario is a bit more complicated. Let's say that you're at a networking event. You're speaking to someone. You don't hate them, but you're not really crazy about it, and you'd like to just go talk to other people. Same thing could happen when you're out at a social event, a bar or club, whatever. What can you do here? So they're talking. You go, mm, mm. Okay, well. Okay, well. That's your interrupter. Oh. Oftentimes one word. Hey. Okay, well, unfortunately, whatever it is, you get in there, right, say, okay, well, I'm gonna go walk around, mingle a little bit, maybe grab a drink. But it was awesome talking to you, and I hope you enjoy the rest of this event and you say, goodbye. All right, take care. You're gone. You don't need to justify it. You don't have to invite them if you don't want them to come. You simply say what you're gonna do. And then the nicest thing in this case is, I did enjoy this conversation. Ready for it to be over now, But I did enjoy this. And that takes us to the third case. What about those conversations that you didn't enjoy you don't want to have again? You'd like this person to just go away. Oftentimes, this is the case where it's not someone that, you know, maybe they're selling something to you, or it's someone from your past that has just come back and you would really prefer that they weren't there. In this moment, I've had this time where I'm catching up with an old friend, somebody that I haven't seen in a long time, that I wasn't close with Pops in, and it's like, I just want to talk to this person and not you. What can you do here? So, first off, they're probably going to be talking a lot or hoping or maybe even just standing there, and you got to interrupt. You got to get in there. So listen. Okay. Hey. Hey. I was hoping to just talk to whatever this person's name Is, I was just hoping to talk to Dan for a little bit. It's been awesome seeing you. If it was. If not, you go, hey, I was just hoping to talk to Dan right here. But I hope that you have an awesome time here. I hope that your family's doing really well. So take care of. I recognize that that is abrupt. The truth is, they're going to interject back and forth. It's not all just one line that ends in take care. But in these situations, you often have to be. Because the truth is, you are deciding between letting this person dictate your social interaction. They stay, they talk, they tell their story, or you can have an honest conversation. It's still kind because you're adding the nicest thing that you can. I hope that you have an awesome time here. I hope that you enjoy the time with your friends. I hope that you've been great since I last saw you. If it's someone at a bar, you can say, I hope you have a wonderful rest of your evening. You are letting them know that you do not despise, hate, and wish them ill. Right. It allows them to save some face. But still, you are being very direct. And sometimes women come and ask this kind of question in a bar. What do I say? I often say that I have a boyfriend. I say that I'm going to go to the bathroom. I recommend this. And I know that sometimes it doesn't get a very friendly response. It is still good practice. So in a bar, somebody's coming up to you saying, mm hmm, okay, well, I'm just gonna catch up with my friend right now. But I hope that you have an awesome rest of the night and that you enjoy your time at that other bar that you mentioned you were going to. All right, you turn, you go like this, one of two things will happen, truly. Most of the time, people will move on. 99% of the time, people move on. If they don't, they get upset. This can be men or women. I've seen it on both sides. Their pride, their ego has been offended here. This is a wonderful moment for you to deal with someone else being mad at you for being kind, direct and honest and stating your truth and just to sit there is fantastic. I know a lot of people do not like it when other people are angry at them. But I truly believe that when you can tell the truth and when you can look back and you go, you know what? I didn't bite their head off. I didn't scream at them. I wasn't unnecessarily rude. I instated what I intended to do. I. I was kind as I could be to just sit there with that and have them be angry at you. That actually I believe builds self esteem. Needing to please everyone, having them leave, always thinking that you're wonderful and that you'll catch them as soon as you get back from the bathroom, that destroys self esteem. Right when you could sit there and not have to scream at them, not have to hate them, just recognize that as a sign of whatever's going on inside of them and deal with it. Then I believe that you'll feel more confident, self assured, and you'll be able to do this even more comfortably. So that's it for how to end a conversation. But of course, all of this goes much better if you've already made a great first impression and the person really likes you. What most people don't realize is that there's four emotions that lead to an amazing first impression every time. And if you can create those in the other person, they will remember you even if you've only met for 30 seconds. So if you want to know exactly what those four emotions are and begin using them, today I made a video that shows exactly what they are and the order to create them in, which is essential because if you get the order wrong, they the entire thing falls apart. So if you want to see that video, go ahead, click the link below. It's going to take you to another page where you can drop your email and get access to that video right away so that you nail the next first impression that you make. So I hope that you have enjoyed this video. If you've not yet done so, make sure to subscribe. Hit the notification bell because YouTube is not telling people when we post videos. So if you'd like to see more like this, make sure to hit that notification bell. And I actually do recommend, if you've not yet seen it, check out last week's animation video. I want to give Zano, who did this video, huge, huge props. He is a legendary animator. He's done all of well, he's done our most recent animations. We actually had another animator also fantastic. But I think Zano really knocked this one out of the park. So if you want to check out Zano's channel, I'll leave a link to that. And if you want to check out last week's video on seven phrases that make you lack confidence, go ahead and check that out right now. Hope you guys enjoyed this video and I will see you in the next video. 1.