This is a YouTube video titled "How To Influence Someone Without Them Knowing" containing a monologue or talk from March 5, 2018, explaining psychological techniques to influence how people perceive warmth and likability, including an example study involving physical warmth and social perception. The content is educational and presented by a single speaker.
We grew up being told that being liked or getting a date, getting a promotion or a sale, that it's based on who is the most qualified. But that's not always the case. Being nice is not always rewarded in social situations. And the hardest worker does not often get the promotion or the sale. So today I want to give you three ways that you can influence how people feel about you. That has nothing to do with your qualifications or your words and and is 100% in your control. So the first thing is how to game something called the stereotype content model. And it sounds fancy, but it's very easy. They did a study about warmth, the idea of someone being warm that we normally think is generated by the person being friendly or smiling or making us laugh. But one very clever social psychologist had the idea, what if that warmth is actually used because it's similar to physical warmth? So he did a study that went like this. You come up as the participant, and you see me holding a clipboard, a pen, and a cup of coffee. And I ask you to hold that coffee while I ask you a couple questions. We're riding an escalator towards where you think the study starts. And I say, what's your name? What's your date of birth? All sorts of information like that. And I'm filling out a sheet. Meanwhile, half of the participants are holding iced coffee, and half of the participants are holding hot coffee. And then they all go and they read a description of various people, and they rate them in terms of who they think is friendly or warm or cold or distant, and who they would like and who they would dislike. And it turns out that the people holding the coffee that is hot are more likely to think that the people they're reading about are friendly and warm and someone they'd like to know, even though everyone involved is reading the same descriptions. So what does that mean for you? It means if you can create physical warmth in people, especially when you're just meeting them, that they will like you more. Which is crazy, because there's a ton of ways to do this. You can give someone a coffee. You can control the temperature in your office. If you're going on a date and your date is.
