How To KILL Your Fear (in 7 minutes)

Failure might delay your dreams, but fear will kill them, because fear leads to inaction. So in today's video, you'll learn seven tricks to help silence that voice in your head that fears rejection. That way, you can go into any conversation with confidence, knowing you'll feel completely unfazed if you do get rejected. Well, I don't think we should see each other anymore. Oh, that's okay. What? No, it's fine. No problem. I'll meet somebody else. The first step to becoming fearless in conversation is realizing that you are not your first impression. When you think, I got rejected, it makes you feel like you aren't good enough, that that's why you're scared of rejection. So replace the thought I got rejected with something more accurate and more empowering, like that conversation didn't go well because someone can't possibly reject you. They can't see your soul. They don't know you to your core. Someone can only reject how you've presented yourself. And how you present yourself is a skill you can improve. As you gain more experience auditioning, you get better at it, and you start really to get feedback. The same idea applies to interviews, sales, dating apps, and approaching someone attractive. They're all skills you can learn to be incredibly good at any of them. You can. So anytime you get rejected, simply think of it as feedback that there's a skill you need to improve. The second trick, to stop fearing rejection is to realize that rejection is inevitable. Shame is optional. Everyone gets rejected. And often the most successful people in the world have failed more and been rejected more than anyone else. The auditioning process is basically a process of being rejected over and over and over and over and over again until you either give up or something breaks and you get. You get an opportunity. When I raised money for Amazon, 40 people told me no. So I had to take 60 meetings to get 20 yeses. She asked me to be her prom date, and then the day before, she told me she was only joking and she went with Sebastian Lipiat instead. The next time you're feeling shame about being rejected, remind yourself that everyone you admire has been rejected at some point. Let's. Rejection doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. Internalize that and you'll stop fearing it. Not only is it normal, rejection often paves the road to success. It doesn't matter whether your goal is to find an amazing person to date, get your dream job, or start a successful business. Exceptional results often require multiple tries. So instead of avoiding rejection, recognize that life is a numbers game. Maximize Your shots on goal.

Do you know how many auditions the average working actor needs to go on, typically before booking a job? One in 64 auditions. And I promised myself I wasn't going to get upset if I didn't book something before 64 auditions, because that would be diluted thinking, because the reality is that's the average.

Here's the formula to living your dream life. Try. If you fail, reflect on why you failed. Improve. Try again. Repeat that process, and your success is inevitable. If these mindset shifts aren't enough to get you to take action, there's a more concrete trick you can use. Amp up your carrot stick motivation. If you aren't taking action on something, it means the reward you think you'll get by doing it doesn't outweigh the pain you imagine you'll feel if you fail. So to get yourself to take action, increase the cost of not trying. One way is the money method. Go to a friend you Trust, give them $20, and tell them you only get it back if you do the thing that scares you. If that doesn't get you to take action, simply increase the amount of money. Eventually, you will take action just to get your money back. Once you do start trying, you'll experience something amazing. Rejections are good for you. Repeatedly risking rejection is one of the fastest ways to build extreme confidence. It's exposure therapy. You do what scares you over and over until it doesn't faze you. Navy SEAL David Goggins says this habit is the key to all of his success. And that's the key thing. Through repetition of things you don't want to do, you develop mental like. Like an armor for your mind. Sometimes all it takes is one day of action to permanently level up your confidence. For example, the guy in this next video has never gone out on a date in his life. So he decides that to get over his fear of rejection, he's going to ask out 100 women in one day. Watch what happens. No, no, no. Realistically, no, I probably wouldn't. Now, at this point, Sam started to lose what little confidence he had coming in. But his whole life was. He'd always heard the phrase eighth time's the charm. So he decided to give it one more try. Would you go on a date with me? Yeah. I mean, you seem very straightforward. Yes. I like how you approached me. Oh, my God. Now, hold up, hold up, hold up. She may be laughing. It's not a no. Hmm. What about somewhere in ucsd? Would you say yes if I said somewhere in ucsd? Sure. Why not told you There is power in speedrunning rejection. In a very short period of time, you can transform from someone who's paralyzed by fear into one of the most courageous people you know. Just make sure you do this in a way that's fun and lighthearted. Don't be rude or hostile. And if you live in a super small town or school, consider taking a trip somewhere before you try this just so you don't build a reputation. Asking people out isn't the only way to build your courage muscle. You can do cold calling or door to door sales, or you can try something like Noah Kagan's Starbucks Challenge. Go to a different coffee shop each day and ask for your coffee for free. In Jordan Peterson's clinical experience, exercises like these are the third fastest way to build courage. Get over your fear of rejection. And how do you do that? By encountering it continually and continually and continually so that you're no longer paralyzed. Once you've done everything in this video enough times, you'll find yourself a changed person. You'll have a ton of confidence and you'll have grown so much from reflecting on what didn't go well. At that point, the meaning of rejection shifts. Rejection becomes a sign that you aren't a good match. Once you've worked on yourself and your confidence and you're happy with who you are, it stops being about presentation. Now rejection is about thinking fit. Rejection is actually sparing you from a future breakup or a firing. This mindset becomes way easier to have if you zoom out. If you obsess over getting one specific job or one specific person, you get desperate and you're going to be afraid of rejection. Instead, focus on becoming the type of person who has options. So if you get nervous during job interviews, focus on building the charisma skills to interview well and the work related skills that you know will make you a great applicant. Then interviews become something you actually look forward to because you know you'll crush them. Or if dating makes you nervous, don't worry about getting one particular person to like you. Instead, focus on becoming someone that a lot of people would love to be with. And even beyond that, purposefully create a life you really enjoy even when you aren't dating anyone. Suddenly you won't care nearly as much if you get rejected because you don't feel like you need them in order to be happy. Life is a lot more fun when you have multiple options you're happy with. The fastest way I know of to build a life with options is to develop your charisma because achieving mastery in most skills can take years and even decades, but you can see massive improvement in your charisma in just a month or two. Most people simply never try to learn it, or if they do, they aren't sure how to learn it effectively. If you want a specific blueprint for taking your charisma to the next level, check out our video course, Charisma University. It's a step by step program that tells you exactly what to do every day, so that 30 days from now, you radiate confidence and charisma naturally, without even thinking about it. If you want to see if it's right for you, click the link on screen now or in the description below. Either way, I hope this video has helped you, and I look forward to seeing you in the next one.