How To Make People Respect You Immediately

Volodymyr Zelenskyy has been extremely effective at getting people and nations from around the world to support his cause in the conflict against Putin's Russia. So in this video we'll break down five leadership habits you can use to command massive respect and make people want to follow you, whether you're leading in business, politics or just your social life. We're also going to touch on Putin's approach in regards to these same habits. Before we start though, the goal here is not to evaluate personalities, politics or the war itself. It's to help you become a stronger leader using relevant real world examples and to the people of Ukraine and Russia, I wish you peace and health and I hope that there's a peaceful resolution very soon. Which brings us to our first point. Do not simply ask people to behave in ways that are good for you. Show them how what's good for you is good for them and they'll follow enthusiastically. This may seem obvious, but in high stress situations we sometimes expect the other person to care about what's good for us, as Zelenskyy does. In this next clip for context, he and the reporter are discussing why the west won't enforce a no fly zone. And Zelenskyy implies that the west is not taking into account the Ukrainian people's interest, but the rest of the governments.

As I understand it, think it will become worse if they involve themselves actively.

So it would be worse for whom? For our families? No, for whom for them. Now Zelenskyy's implication is on the money. The west cares primarily for its own interests, but when trying to motivate anyone to do anything, do not point out their selfishness or shame them for it. That strategy won't change the fact that people tend to act in their own narrow self interest, and it just makes them defensive. Instead, use the understanding that they will act in their own best interests to guide them towards mutually beneficial actions. Zelenskyy has done this with his references to a potential domino effect if Ukraine should fall, which is a much stronger tactic. To implement this in your own life, take time to review what you know the other person cares about before any important conversations. Whether you're a teenager asking permission to go out for the night, or if you're a CEO asking someone to join your company, then avoid the words I want, I need or I'd love and instead try. You'll get followed by what you know they care about. Fulfill their desires through your plan and you will wind up with emphatic support. Now when speaking to people's interests. Your best bet is to approach from two angles. Describe the heaven if they side with you and the hell if they don't. In his Instagram addresses, Zelenskyy has emphasized this, citing the heaven for those who come to Kiev and help. Then he belabors the personal costs that will come to those who support Russia. This dual sided approach is incredibly important for sustaining a position of leadership. If you just use the hell or negative motivation, you will shake someone out of their status quo, but you will not guarantee that people actually follow you, just that they change something. It's the heaven or positive motivators that make them specifically move towards your suggested course of action. Putin's approach illustrates this because he has clearly alluded to the hell of nuclear war should the no fly zone be implemented. But Putin hasn't attempted to describe a positive outcome should the US align more closely with him. The lack of positive motivators has been a hallmark of communication between the US and Putin going both ways. And it's why the US has yet to enforce that no fly zone, but hasn't stopped supporting Ukraine in other ways. So in your own life, use both. A great example of quickly hitting on both in a more normal context is Steve Jobs appeal to John Scully when he was joining Apple. It's a framework that you can use if you're ever trying trying to get someone to join your organization, he said.

Do you want to sell sugar water for the rest of your life or do you want to come with me and change the world? And I just sculpt. I knew I would wonder for the rest of my life. You know what I would have missed.

This takes us to the third habit. Give your followers a high reputation to live up to, even if they've only just begun to earn it. This habit is about seeing the beginnings of positive character traits and calling them out before they have fully developed. It's about catching people doing noble things and highlighting those acts. For instance, Zelenskyy said the European leaders who came to Kyiv demonstrated real leadership and called them courageous, even though they were nowhere near his level of risk taking. When asked about his feelings on the youth of the world rallying around the Ukrainian cause, he said now another leader might have reasonably said that the performative stances on social media were too small, that more needed to be donated rather than posted about in order to make a genuine impact. But counterintuitively, people are more likely to take big, helpful steps when they've been praised for small ones, not chastised for them. Putin seems to recognize this as well praising the bravery of Russian soldiers as citizens prepare for the impact of sanctions in your life. People won't always impress you though. You will be frustrated with people's effort or results at some point in these situations. Rather than criticize in the heat of the moment, take all your frustrations and speak or write them out. Vent privately in conversation with them, note any ways that they're living up to a positive reputation, and then give clear, direct feedback on what behavior you would like to see changed without criticizing it. Notice how Zelenskyy does this without getting heated or calling names in regards to citizens sharing details on social media that compromise the military's effectiveness. A close cousin to this is our fourth point, which is when you're praising people, it is much more effective if done publicly. Zelenskyy has done an excellent job on social media of highlighting those who have helped the Ukrainian cause, from Meta to Elon Musk to the specific Ukrainian soldiers to whom he awards honors at the end of his addresses. This habit makes everyone who sees these addresses want to do more of what it takes to earn those honors, and they will work hard to do so. Now it is true, you can get a similar effect by instilling a deep fear of making mistakes in the people around you. The problem with this approach is that you may get a tremendous amount of obedience and effort, but you're likely to stifle innovation and discour people from telling you the truth. We may have seen the tip of that iceberg with Russia's spy chief as he addressed Putin with the demeanor of a man who would be obedient, but knew that the quote unquote wrong answer would not be tolerated. So avoid the short term motivator of fear and instead stick to public praise, whether it's making a point to call out friends who have been helpful in front of a group or complimenting employees on team zoom calls. But of course, the most important piece of leadership, and the part that truly inspires people, is own behavior sets the standard for everyone around you. Zelenskyy's refusing evacuation, staying in Kyiv and visiting the wounded has done more for morale than all the other points in this video combined. That's because an inevitability of being a leader is that your personal character gets transferred to the organization's culture. It happens more slowly in huge organizations and quickly in small ones, but it's an inevitability either way. This is the privilege and responsibility of leadership. Your personality gets magnified. So if you're a leader and there's a trait you'd like to see more of around you, like a willingness to self sacrifice for the great greater cause. You need to cultivate that trait in yourself first, and you need to show it to your people. You don't have to be on the literal front lines, but people must know that your dedication at least matches what you ask from them. When that happens, the bar raises for everyone. Now, of course, this last point especially assumes you're already a leader. And if you'd like more on how to become a leader, whether that's socially or professionally, I highly recommend checking out how to Win Friends and Influence People. It's got amazing examples that have stuck with me for years and still affect how I speak and even write emails every single day. And the good news is that you can check this out for free courtesy of this video's sponsor, Audible. When you join using the link audible.com Charisma or by texting Charisma to 500 500, you get one free audiobook with your 30 day trial and I highly recommend how to Win Friends and Influence People. It's amazing. Probably top five most influential in my entire life. If you decide to stay with Audible after the free trial period, you get one free audiobook per month and access to Audible plus, which has a huge library of audiobooks, podcasts, and even guided meditations all included. A lot of people say that they don't have time to feed their brain watching YouTube or reading books, but when you're listening there is no excuse. So if you want to check out how to Win Friends, you can do it while you're exercising or even just sitting in traffic. I highly recommend it. Check out audible.com Charisma or text Charisma to 500500 to do it today. I hope that you guys enjoyed this video and I look forward to seeing you in the next one.