How To Make Women Want You If You’re Quiet

Timothee Chalamet has two traits you don't often see go hand in hand. He's self admittedly very awkward and yet women find him incredibly attractive.

So hot. Timothy. I'm waiting for him to get like a little bit older, you know, like so, so talented and hot. I'm obsessed with Timothee Chalamet.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not alone.

No, you're not alone. Not at all. No.

He's like lady crack.

I just bought a Chalamet and Netflix T shirt. He's a little dream of a.

This is interesting because Timothy is not your stereotypical jock alpha male in either looks or personality. He's shy and at times seems uncomfortable when speaking, looking down, fidgeting, or putting his hands in his pockets. How can someone who's self admittedly awkward be so attractive? While he's definitely handsome, much of Timothy's attractiveness comes through in his personality. You can hear it in the way people describe him.

He's a dreamboat.

He has that kind of energy that draws you in. So charismatic.

Part of what makes Timothy so magnetic is how well he handles potentially awkward moments. So in this video, we'll go over seven tricks you can learn from Timothy to turn your awkward moments into moments where you're actually making yourself more attractive. The first thing you'll notice in a lot of Timothy's awkward moments is that even when he feels nervous, he radiates positivity. Here's a quick example. When you come out of the gate like this, do you worry about, like, what you're.

Of course I'm worried.

Yeah, right.

His words say he's worried, but he's got a big smile and positive energy. By not feeling the need to hide that you're nervous, and by having that positive body language, you make yourself attractive. You seem simultaneously genuine and confident. Here's another quick example for context. In the movie Call Me by youy Name, Timothy has sex with a peach. It's understandably something he's a bit awkward about. Rather than shrinking into himself, he maintains upbeat, positive energy when he talks about it. Once again laughing as he speaks.

There's a scene where. I don't know how to describe this. There's a peach. And in life, one has to explore sometimes, right? And the exploration commences, Right?

Exactly. He's even able to make a joke about it. So people have been mentioning this to you a lot.

You say, like, are you worried? I'm worried. Like 50 years from now, I'll be like, signing peaches behind a desk.

Someone who draws into themselves when embarrassed can make you feel uncomfortable because you mirror their discomfort. But if you react like Timothy does with his positive body language, you actually make it fun to be around you when you're embarrassed. Positivity is a key part of being charismatic. It can even help you recover from one of the most feared social outcomes, being made fun of. Most people dread the possibility of being teased for their awkwardness. This makes them hesitate in social situations or overanalyzing what to say because they're worried about looking bad. But you don't have to fear being teased. In fact, you can come across as attractive after being made fun of. Similar to the first point, the trick is to appear unfazed by smiling or laughing through the tease. Watch this next clip to see a lower energy example. Jimmy Kimmel asks him a question about his GQ cover photo that would make most people feel awkward. But Timothy answers with a calm voice and a smile. And I think you've plucked your eyebrows a little since then, huh?

Absolutely. Absolutely. Listen, I'm French. You know, us French people get.

What's the plan for the Oscars? Who are you bringing with you?

I've got my family. I'll go with my mom, my dad, and my sister.

It's not easy to smile when someone teases you, but we'll go through a mindset in about 30 seconds that helps tremendously. First, here's two more quick examples to watch. Notice how Timothy smiles each time he gets teased for what he said.

I got paparazzi for the first time the other day. You got paparazzied. Is that the. How do you say it?

That's a verb.

That's a verb? Yeah, it's a verb. How do you say it when it happens? I went with my mom, and I didn't think that was gonna be, like, the most fun plus one, but it was. It was like a really great time. You can't say that on tv. Which camera's mom? That one. Love you, mom. Okay.

Some people mistakenly think that being teased in front of someone automatically makes you seem unattractive or low status. That's actually not the case. Close friends will often tease each other as a sign of endearment. The mistake that makes you seem unattractive or low status is if you take on defeated body language after being teased, such as a frown, a dropped gaze, or a quieter voice. This makes it seem like you think the tease is an actual criticism. That said, you don't want to fake a smile. The goal is to genuinely not take being teased personally. There's an easy trick to this. Don't assume negative intent in ambiguous situations. It's tempting to think that someone who teases you wants to hurt your feelings. However, assuming negative intent will only make you feel more wounded and insecure. Eventually, that insecurity will leak out into conversation. We covered this in detail in our video 5 Common Habits that make people instantly dislike you. So we'll go through it quickly here. When you read negative intent into ambiguous comments, you leave a bad impression. Like Brie Larson did in her viral Wired interview.

Would Brie Larson work out, like, hypothetically? Would I at some point? Is that like a personal attack or something? Is that a request? Do you think I should? Yeah, I work out a lot. Thanks for asking.

If you think of something as a personal attack, it will always feel like a put down instead of a friendly tease. So how is Timothy able to smile genuinely and interpret teasing as friendly? He believes that nobody cares that much about your flaws. For instance, listen to him discuss the terrible haircut he had to walk around with when shooting the King.

Very appropriate for the film. Are you happy it's grown out?

Yeah, I'm happy to be done with it. And, you know, the big lesson is like, nobody cares. And that's the lesson of life, I guess. But I don't know for things of hair, personality, whatever you think people are, no one cares.

Now, that said, there are real bullies. And if people are actually bullying you, you don't want to just smile and take it. You want to stand up for yourself. If you want to know more about that topic, we'll link to our video, how to stand up for yourself without starting a fight in the description of this video. Now, in most awkward situations, simply smiling and laughing will be enough to get you through it. But sometimes that feeling of awkwardness gets stuck in your body. You try to repress it or ignore it, but it just won't go away. So you end up stuck in your head, feeling uncomfortable. In those instances, rather than try to ignore your awkwardness, call out the awkwardness. Watch this next clip to see Timothy do this on the Tonight Show.

Last time you were here was just right before you got nominated for the Oscar and you went to the Oscars.

And that is so weird to hear out loud.

I know, dude.

Man, I thought this was gonna be easier this time. No, not easier at all.

Really. Are you freaking out right now?

No, no, no. It's all good. It's all good.

Was that your first talk show or.

No, that was my first.

It was your first appearance it's counterintuitive. But by acknowledging that he feels awkward, he's able to move past feeling awkward. Discomfort grows when everyone feels that something is awkward, but no one acknowledges it. The person who does call it an awkward moment gets points for having the confidence to do so. Here's another great example of it. This is from his interview with Ellen, talking about Call Me by youy Name.

When anybody sees this, you are so sexy in this movie. You really, you really.

You are.

I mean, yeah, I like, oh my.

God, it's gonna be a lot harder to look you in the face now.

No, I knew.

By calling himself out, he lets the awkwardness move through him so that he can go right back to looking her in the eye. Very few things are actually inherently unattractive or embarrassing. It's your reaction to them that cues other people to think that what happened was bad. We already spoke about one reaction that makes you less attractive, which is acting defeated. Another is trying to hide that something awkward happened, rather than calling it out and laughing at it. The classic example of this is when you trip and fall. Some people look mortified, others just laugh at themselves. If you act mortified, people will think it was embarrassing. If you laugh, people will think that you're confident because you're not embarrassed by what happened. Watch this next clip to see what I mean by smiling, laughing, and calling himself out. Timothy seems unfazed. Being unfazed by something that most people would find awkward is attractive. The point isn't to do embarrassing things on purpose, but if you say or do something awkward by accident, a charismatic recovery can make you more attractive. Timothy basically spells that out here when reacting to that last clip.

Nice recovery, dude.

It's all about the recovery.

It's all about the recovery.

So let's say I was sitting in this chair right now and I was.

Like.

No, it's all about the COVID Yes, when you get up, when you get up, it's all about the COVID.

Now a lot of this advice will be helpful for people who clam up in awkward situations. But there is another camp of people who react to awkwardness by doing the opposite. They talk a mile a minute and non stop. If you find yourself rambling when you're nervous, the trick for you is to pass the conversational spotlight to the other person. This will buy you time to calm down and it makes sure that you aren't doing all the talking. Here's two quick examples from Timothy. When he wants to pass the spotlight.

Do you have your like awards that you won for?

They're all weirdly like, they're my moms now, and they're like, with all my, like, childhood taekwondo trophies. So it's, like, a very weird thing to see. How have you been, man? Everything's cool.

Oh, stop it. No, no, don't. You're so nice. You don't have to talk about me. You don't have to talk about me.

Army tells this story better than I do, so I'll let him cut me off at a certain point. But, you know, we were rehearsing the villa, we shot the film where the film takes place. And Luca, our director, one day says, okay, let's do rehearsal. We're going to go into the backyard. Join us. And so army and I were very enthusiastic. We had our scripts, and we went in the back in the backyard.

The points we've mentioned so far can help you be more attractive early in an interaction. But to develop lasting attractiveness, you should do one more thing. Share your higher purpose. Truly attractive people have things they care deeply about. Grander purposes in life than just being attractive. For example, watch Timothy talk about why he wanted to do the film Beautiful Boy.

I do want to be not too serious about this, but this is a serious thing. Like, a lot of people and a lot of young people are going through an addiction crisis in this country right now. And for whatever reason, there's a bit of trepidation to talk about it. And that's what this movie, I think, hopes to address.

In some ways, whatever your ambition is, whether it's in your career or just a hobby, having priorities beyond dating makes you more attractive. Talking about your big goals has another added benefit as well. Because you care so much about it, it's likely to subconsciously give you more conviction and confidence when you speak. For example, listen to Timothy talk about why he felt it was so important to try to normalize gay love stories in cinema. His awkwardness does come through. But you can see his vision for the film inspires him to speak with a conviction he doesn't always have.

And it's important, man. This is a love story that people need to see. We live in a weird world right now. This is a unabashedly uncynical. Yeah, yeah. I'm, like, pitching this movie. I don't know what I'm doing. But, like, seriously, this is a great movie. And, like, it's. It's. It's important to be seen. So for any and all that want to see it, it's it.

Okay, so we've talked about conversational specifics now let's talk about a mindset that will help you be more confident and attractive when meeting people. If you don't know Timothee's big break and the movie that made him a sex symbol in many people's eyes was Call Me by youy Name. The movie centers around a romantic relationship he has with his co star, Armie Hammer. It's a bold role to take for Timothy. As Ellen lays out here the commitment.

And the beautiful way you told this story. And especially knowing that you're young and you're straight and you did this, it made me love you even more because that was a beautiful job.

Well, thank you, Ellen. That's like, that means the world coming from you. I really mean that.

Most young, straight actors would have felt awkward taking this role. So how was Timothy able to convince himself to do it? Why wasn't he worried? Listen to him explain it in this next clip.

And I have the tremendous gift of absolutely nobody knowing who I am. So I thought, if this doesn't work, then, yeah, onto the rest of life.

That's it. That's the mindset that will let you approach someone you're attracted to and spark up a conversation without feeling nervous. It's the mindset that frees you from the fear of rejection that creates so many awkward moments. If this doesn't go well, on with the rest of my Life. If you think that a particular conversation needs to go well, it puts so much pressure on you to perform. This makes you nervous, and likely all your subconscious body language will be stiff and uncomfortable. Ironically, the solution is to give yourself permission to have conversations that don't go well. When you approach someone you're attracted to with the mindset of, I hope we hit it off, but if not, well, then on with the rest of life, you will immediately carry yourself with more confidence and present yourself more attractively. Okay, so, stepping away from awkwardness for a second, let's discuss a basic framework for what makes someone attractive. This is an oversimplification, but it's easiest to think about it as three what you look like, your charisma, and what they know about your achievements. Different people value each bucket differently, but those are the three areas you can work to improve if you want to be more attractive and have a better dating life. And there's no denying that Timothee Chalamet's attraction is greatly benefited by that third bucket. He is an incredibly talented movie star.

Timothee Chalamet is just, like, amazing, but I think that that's because he's so talented.

The good news is, if dating is something that's important to you and you want a better dating life, all three of those buckets are improvable to some degree. That said, by far the fastest and easiest one to improve is your charisma. If you want the fastest way to improve your charisma, check out our program Charisma University. It's literally guaranteed to work in 30 days or you get your money back. It's only 20 to 30 minutes a day and it's structured with a daily action guide so that you know exactly what to do each day to become more charismatic. Now you can read all about the details in the link below, but the best way to learn about the program is probably from the members themselves. So here are just a few of the things that Charisma University members have written in the first one comes from a guy who says CU helped his dating life. He says Loving the course. I have cherry picked a few things, for example the filter lesson in the conversation model. This one lesson completely changed my life. I've liked a girl for over a year now but never thought much of it because I thought she was too pretty. I took your lessons, gave things a shot, and now we're dating. This next one comes from an officer in the army. They say before joining Charisma University, I think I used to come off overly serious and reserved which got in the way of connecting with new people. Since taking the course, I have way more confidence to just go out and strike up a conversation with random people. It's also helped me handle body language and physical contact a lot smoother. And in general I notice people are smiling way more when I'm around. Thank you for making it. I'm glad I joined. And this last one is a comment in the course from someone else who used it mainly to improve their social and dating life. And he says life changing in six weeks I went from being socially awkward with few friends to the life of every event I attend. I also went from having serious girl problems to dating the girl of my dreams. And there are many more success stories just like those in the comments if you decide to join the course. If you do join, it comes with a 60 day money back guarantee which is 100% for any reason at all. And it's 60 days even though the course is only 30 days because we want to make sure that every single person truly feels like you're getting a ton of value from the course. Otherwise you can just refund. So if you want to check the course out, go ahead and click the link on screen now or below in the description. We've had thousands of members go through this course and get a ton out of it, and I would love for you to do the same. Either way, I hope you found this video helpful and I look forward to seeing you in the next one.