A speaker shares practical strategies for refusing alcohol in social settings without losing confidence. Prepare your reasons in advance, communicate them clearly, and you'll face less pressure from others.
So how do you deal with people that are trying to cram drinks down your throat? If you've ever gone out, right, and you've been at a club or a bar and you're trying to not drink, what you have found is that someone there is basically going to try to force you. They're going to make you feel guilty, they're going to tell you you're not being fun. They're going to beg you to do just one with them. So how do you deal with that kind of peer pressure, especially when it's coming from more than one person? Well, that's what I want to cover in this video. First, though, to everyone who watched the first video and agreed to the one day I'm going to go out and not drink challenge, I salute you. This is free. There are basically two parts to dealing with that kind of peer pressure. The first is having a reason, and the second is saying it with conviction. So to the first part, there's this funny foible of human psychology that says and shows, and studies have borne it out, that if you have a reason, it doesn't matter what the reason is. People don't care. They are not persuaded by the logic of your arguments. Sometimes just the existence of a reason is more than enough. And to demonstrate this, they did a study on a college campus where there were people waiting in line to meet, make photocopies for homework or whatever it was. And what they would do is they'd send one group of students into line and they would ask, hey, could I please cut in front of you in line? Some of the people complied, but a lot of people didn't. And then they made one change. They had a second group of students go wait in line for the photocopier and say, hey, can I cut in line for you for the photocopier? Because I need to make some copies. And what they found is that 93% of the people complied. Now, because I need to make some copies is not a compelling or logical reason. Everyone in line is there to make copies, but human beings crave reasons. So if you're gonna go out and you're not gonna drink, you need to know your reason and be able to communicate it. It can be that you're on a diet and you don't want to be drinking alcohol. It can be that you saw my YouTube video and are trying a challenge for one night to not do it, to see your willpower. But if you want an extra bonus of self respect, and this is one that I found hits for Very, very heavy. You can actually turn this into an opportunity to make someone respect you more. And it's by doing something like this. So when people ask me, charlie, you know, aren't you going to have a drink? What's going on? At first I'll just say no. But if they continue to prod, I will say something to the effect of, you know, I actually stopped drinking years ago because I realized that when I went out, rather than like, go talk to the people I want or be really fun or go flirt with a girl I was interested in, the first thing that I would do was, would be to go to the bar and get drunk. And I realized I was using it as a crutch. So from that point on, I've just been done. I mean, I'll drink with my friends, maybe sometimes at the house or maybe for dinner, but if I'm in a social situation, I just refuse to use it as a crutch. And what that does for me, and, you know, I'll pause there and they'll go, oh, interesting. And I'll add on to that and I'll say, yeah, what it does for me, one, I make much better decisions. But two, I get to have cool conversations with people that I want to get to know and not just waste time. Now, what that last part does, which is really, really awesome, is it says to them and it communicates to them that you have standards for the people around you. Subject for another video. But it makes them want to live up to them. They're going to want to be one of those people that is worth talking to when you're sober and not just drunk. So guy or girl, you'll tend to see them step up their game, be more interested and interesting when they're conversing with you. Really awesome wins. Self respect makes for better conversations. Don't dump it on them all at once. You don't need to say this to everyone who asks you if you're having a drink. It's only if they continue to prod and prod and prod for two or three times that you say, you know what? Boom. And you give them that reason, which is, you know, maybe the reason that you have, maybe you can come up with your own. The second piece. If people continually push, and this happens a lot in college environments and maybe even some workplace environments, but the way that you deal with people that are pushing and is actually by getting clear on your reasoning beforehand when you say it with conviction, what I found is that people stop bothering you. When I first started this and I was unsure and I'd answer, no, it's just I don't really want to drink tonight. No, no, thanks, man. It's cool. People would hound me. Come on, man, just one. You could do it. Come on, just do one for me, please. Just one, right? They'd be all over it. But now when they say, hey, man, do you want a drink? I go, no, I don't drink. It's just over. That sort of certainty and conviction, there's a little bit of a battle going on there, right? Whose worldview is going to win out? So if you take the time now to get clear on your reason, say it out loud a couple times if you want. You can even write it down. That's going to do two things. One, you're going to be ready to present it to them when the time comes. And two, you're going to say it with so much more conviction because it rings true and. And resonates with you. So that's how to deal with people that are hassling you to drink. There's a lot more questions that I've seen. How do I have fun? How do I deal with drunk people? I want to cover all those in another video, but that is the quick tip for today for all of you going out and doing the challenge. If you want to see more of these videos, of course subscribe to this channel. If you have any questions about, you know, what you should say, what you can do in this environment, go ahead and write them in the comments and I look forward to seeing you in the next video.
