How To Radiate a Cool, Attractive Energy

Matthew McConaughey gives off an almost effortless feeling of being cool. So today we'll break down some of the habits that make him so charismatic and how you can incorporate them into your own life. It's worth noting while Matthew McConaughey is very handsome, his confidence and charisma can apply to you no matter what you look like. The first habit you can learn from Matthew is to set the mood at the start of every interaction. Matthew moves slowly and is never rushed when speaking. This gives off a relaxed feeling, no matter the situation. Just watch how he enters the Colbert show. You'll notice he walks in slow and his pace is very relaxed as he looks around smiling. This conveys a carefree attitude that sets the tone from the start and frames the rest of your conversation. Imagine the difference it would make if he entered quickly and walked straight to the host with tight body language. Now, relaxed isn't the only mood you can set. You can set playful, flirty, high energy, whatever you want. Determine the mood you want for an interaction and spend the first 10 to 20 seconds bringing that energy. You'll also see Matthew greets everyone around him. He takes the time to intentionally acknowledge the band and the audience. Many people make the mistake of only greeting the people they think can benefit them. So you'll see them only try to talk to the most attractive or coolest person in a group or at an interview. They'll blow off whoever's at the front desk only being kind to the person they think has the power to give them the job. This type of focused charisma makes people feel like you're trying to get something from them which is off putting. So the next time you're walking into an interview, a workplace meeting or social group, take three to five seconds to greet each person. For a stronger first impression. Combine this with some form of touch, whether it's a hug or just a handshake. Now it's clear that that trademark energy that Matthew creates is one of comfort and relaxation. So much so that that other actors joke they inherit those vibes just from spending time with him. I've been around him a few times and everybody just kind of does what he's up to.

Absolutely. Totally. Like all of a sudden you're with him and all of a sudden you find yourself kind of like leaning back. You lean back, you talk, you know, you maybe don't enunciate.

One reason for this is that he makes himself comfortable in every environment. Just look at his body language. In this clip from Craig Ferguson, he's.

Nice Michael, isn't he? Yeah, he's really. He's funny. Craig. Yeah, he's. No, he's like very. All right, I'm. I'll tell you something, Matthew. You know what he told me? What?

Matthew lounges back in his chair with his arm draped over the side. This exudes that informal I don't give a care attitude that is one of the main ingredients of his charm. To try this in your own life. Next time you want to look relaxed under pressure, try the simple act of taking up slightly more space than you usually would and opening your body language. A nice bonus to this, your physical comfort will translate to mental comfort, putting you more at ease. So not only will you appear confident and relaxed, you'll also feel it beyond just the body language itself. What makes Matthew seem so cool is that he stays anchored to himself. Watch this next clip from the Graham Norton show. Everyone else on the couch is sitting straight up, but Matthew doesn't try to blend in. I would kick your ass at the fairground. He even puts his drink on the ground instead of the table so he can lounge back even more. Many people would feel social pressure to sit up straight to try to fit in, especially around a dominant personality like John Cena. But Matthew does the opposite. He stays in his own frame instead of joining theirs. Staying true to yourself, even when it makes you stand out, can show tremendous confidence. This isn't to say you should never try to change your habits or grow as a person. It's about choosing what kind of person you want to be again, whether that's relaxed, high energy, playful, kind. Choose who you want to be and don't stop just to blend in with the other people around you. Now, no matter who you are, there is one more habit you can steal from Matthew to instantly become more charismatic in conversation. Become a magnetic storyteller. Storytelling is a conversational superpower. If you can tell good stories, people will love being around you and everyone has a fantastic story to tell. In the rest of this video, you'll see that you can turn anything into a fun story. Even something as mundane as changing a flight or sending an email. All you have to do is know how to tell it. One key to a magnetic story is using a good pre frame. This hooks people to listen to what you're saying. Listen to this next clip for a quick example.

Oh yeah, it's fun. Let me tell you how this job happens. This is a really fun one.

Just one pre frame sentence can be enough to hook people.

Here's another funny story.

You can Also do this simply by hinting that there's a good story to be told. For instance, listen to how Matthew answers George Lopez in this next clip. George just asked him about growing up in an area where being white made him a minority. Notice how he's purposely vague with a smirk and a smile in his eyes that gets George to ask for more detail.

You know, there was times where I probably went some places that wouldn't have been recommended and pulled off some. Pulled off some cultural exchanges at late nights in the. What do you mean? Like what restaurants? I wouldn't necessarily call this place a restaurant.

Once you have people hooked, there's several tricks to telling a good story. The first is to recognize that people are wired to love emotional journeys. So don't just describe what happened. Share your emotional experience during the story. For example, listen to Matthew talk about later that same night when a group of guys approach him and his friend outside the bar.

You look just like the white mother that jumped my little brother. I went, no, no, no, no. He goes, no, you do look just like the white mother that jumped my little brother.

16.

White mother jumped my little brother. My heart rate starts beating. I'm going, I don't know where this is going.

Another trick you saw there to make your stories interesting is to act out your characters. Here's another example from a second later.

My buddy who's lit, right, the buck 25 guy who. He's lit, he goes, 16. How do you have time to count, right?

And at this moment, let's watch one more quick example. This could have been a complete non story, but pay attention to how Matthew tells it. He starts with his emotional journey and he ends by acting out his past self. For context, this is about sending his director his vision for the character Dallas in Magic Mike.

I write it and I send it to our director, Steven Soderbergh. I'm anticipating. I can't wait to see what he says. I'm kind of nervous, you know, what's he gonna say? I hope I'm on the right track. He's happy with where I'm going. One day, nothing. Two days, nothing. Three days, nothing. Four days later, it comes up his email. I'm like, ah, there it is. Let's clear the room.

Sending an email and waiting four days to hear back doesn't seem like much of a story. But if you play your characters and take people on the emotional journey that makes it story worthy to you, you'll have people captivated. Now, you may feel intimidated to play the characters in your story. After all, most of us aren't profess actors like Matthew. But you don't need a spot on impression to captivate people. Any change to your speaking cadence and posture will make your stories more engaging. Listen to the crowd laugh in this next clip when Matthew switches to playing his mom when she's upset to hear they're extending their stay in Greece.

Hang on a minute. Hang on a minute, Mom. Everyone, we got another week. I thought you'd say thank you. She said. All of a sudden she's like, I have to get back to my Pilates class on Tuesday and I need to go to my salon to get my nails done.

When there aren't characters to play, there's another trick you can use to keep people captivated. Tell the story with your hands.

They're playing cards, looking around, and my dad sees this old BMX bike and we couldn't afford a BMX bike. Now, my middle brother had been wanting a BMX motorcycle, but we couldn't afford it. There's this old CRX 80 over there.

And by now you've probably noticed the last trick for magnetic storytelling. If you want to hook people, tell your stories in the present tense. Put them right in your story, experiencing it as it happens. Listen to this quick example where Matthew talks about getting his part in Angels in the Outfield. He pre frames, speaks in the present, tells it with his hands and acts out his character all in less than 30 seconds.

I walk in the door. There's a bunch of funny peculiarities about how the hell I got to be standing here today. I walk in the door, it was backlit. I remember I had an American cap on. It was on Warner Bros. Light. I open up the door, it was backlit. In the afternoon, producer's sitting on the couch, he looks up, he goes, hey, look at you, the all American kid. You ever played baseball? I said, 12 years. He goes, she got the job.

Now, there's a lot going on in this video and you may be wondering, how do you actually remember all this when you're around other people? Especially if you're speaking with someone who makes you nervous, it's hard to remember to put all this into practice. That's why we put together our program, Charisma University. It's a step by step program that tells you exactly what to do every day to take what you're learning and turn it into unique thinking habit. So 30 days later, you radiate confidence and charisma naturally, without even thinking about it. Rather than tell you about the program myself, here are a few things that our past members have said. This first comment came just one week into the program. While going through first impressions, I've been able to get into conversation with people that I never would have before. The lesson on asking questions to draw out values is gold. Thanks to everyone who developed the course. It has already been life changing. Another member wrote in I wasn't truly confident. I was constantly seeking validation and cared too much about other people's opinions. But now my life has improved tremendously because of cu. I find it way easier to connect with people, to have great interactions, and to be happy even if things don't go the way I want them to. Taking this course has been one of the most impactful decisions of my life. I can't recommend it enough. And lastly, one member writes, I am way more confident now, having gone through the daily action guides, and I can see a big difference in the attention and respect that I get. It makes life so much more fun. I don't think it's an overstatement to say Charisma is literally a gateway to getting anything you want in life. So thank you for making Charisma University. This program is literally guaranteed to change your life. You can take the entire course and if you don't think it was worth every penny, you can give yourself a refund from right inside the program. If you want to see if it's right for you, click the link on screen now or in the description below to learn more about it. Either way, I hope you enjoyed this video and I'll see you in the next one.