How To Turn Shyness Into Confidence

Jumanji is coming out, and Dwayne the Rock Johnson is everywhere. I'm always amazed by how charismatic he is. His fans literally burst into tears when they see him Rock.

My man, my hero. Since I was, like, five years old.

Did we get the shot?

What's up, dude? Can we get the.

So I got curious what makes people love him so much. I started watching videos of him, and I discovered something that I thought was really, really interesting. Dwayne Johnson has not always carried himself the way he does today. In his earliest interviews, he's soft spoken, a little monotone, and rarely flashes his trademark smile. To me, that makes how charismatic he is now even more amazing. Check out this clip from 1991. Like a steak every day, or I.

Do like a steak. I usually have one or two steaks a day.

What about tea, coffee?

I'm not big on coffee. I'm not really big on tea, other than iced tea and drink a lot of water.

Now compare that to this more recent interview, right?

I was like, oh. And I caught it. It was amazing, right? So now, my dad was wrestling on the card that night, Madison Square Garden.

After digging into it a bit, I learned that even his first stint in the WWF was a flop. He was promoted as a good guy that fans were supposed to get behind. But after his first few matches, people soured on him and booed him relentlessly. And Dwayne Johnson has said he attributes it completely to how he played the character, which is awesome, because it means that Dwayne Johnson made a conscious decision to. To present himself differently. And it led to him becoming insanely popular and beloved by fans. And by looking at clips across time, we can break it down and see some of the secret sauce that has gone into that charisma. So today I'm going to run through three of the biggest changes I've seen the Rock has made over time and some easy ways you can add them to your own personality so you can be as magnetic and captivating as the Rock, even if you aren't 6, 5, and 260 pounds. The first thing the Rock has become fantastic at is building anticipation. Watch as Graham Norton asks him to say one of his catchphrases. You can easily just say it and move on, but instead, he playfully draws it out until people really, really want him to do it.

It's hard. I generally have a microphone when I'm doing it. Well, hello.

Go for it.

I don't know. They don't want to hear me, though. I think they hear him. Okay.

People get kidding Captivated by that feeling of anticipation. Here's another great example where Jimmy Fallon asks the Rock a question that he could easily just say yes or no to. Instead, he playfully delays it and builds anticipation. Maybe just wink at me. Is there a possibility of a cameo of either David Hasselhoff or Pamela Anderson?

Okay, let's see. If I.

If you.

Yeah, If I kick my right leg, that means there's a possibility of a cameo of one. If I kick my left leg, that means both of them are in the movie. Okay, ready?

And it doesn't have to be a big production like that. Here's a great example of the Rock using a quick sentence to introduce a story.

Here's a little info that I'll share with you guys that I've never shared with anyone.

So here's something I've personally never told anybody. How's that for seven words that gets your ears to perk up. Before the Rock tells a story or answers a question, he makes you want it. He gives you an intro that makes you lean in. Compare that to these two clips from his early years where Duane doesn't give his stories an intro to add anticipation.

The people's elbow. What is the People's elbow? Well, the people's elbow is just dropping an elbow.

How did you come up with this character of the Rock in the first place?

Well, it was kind of a collective group effort to come up with. It was originally Rocky Maivia, and we just kind of shortened it to the Rock. So really, that was really about it.

Picturing it today, you can almost imagine him starting out with something like, oh, wow, that is a great story. And then going into his answer with a huge grin on his face. There's nothing wrong with his answer. It isn't terrible by any means. But compare that to what he does more recently when he's discussing his first ever wrestling match. And notice which one grips you more.

And 22,000 people did something in this moment that defined my career, defined, and literally changed my life.

How do you not get captivated by someone telling you this is the one moment that literally changed their life? Also worth noting, many of us will tell a story and then at the end say, oh, it was awesome, or oh, it changed my life. The Rock puts those at the beginning of his stories, and it really makes you stop and listen. If you start your stories or start answering questions by saying a simple introductory sentence like, oh, you're going to love this, before getting into it, you'll build anticipation and hook people. Another thing, the Rock does exceptionally well Today is go beyond face value of a question and answer what they're really asking. Here's an example from when the Rock was on SportsCenter in 2014.

Let me get this straight. Are you an actor who wrestles now or are you a wrestler who acts? What's your day job? What do you list in your tax form?

The tax form? Well, I'm an actor and I've been an actor for such a long time.

He could easily end his answer there. But that's not really what the interviewer wants to just literally know what Dwayne considers himself. He wants to hear something interesting. So the Rock goes on.

Now, in 2004, I quietly retired from professional wrestling and from the WWE. I have my last match in Madison Square Garden in 2004 where I had my first match when I came into the wwe. And.

And he goes on from there. It's so much more interesting than if he had just said, oh, I'm an actor now. I consider myself an actor. This may seem obvious, but most of us screw this up all the time. We answer questions with short, factual answers instead of telling stories or showing cool things about ourselves. For example, think of the last time you met someone new. They probably asked, where are you from? Most people don't really care if the answer is Pennsylvania or Ohio or Italy. What they want is to learn something about you. So if you just say the city you were born in, you aren't really giving them much to like about you. Here's another example from the same interview. And pay attention to how the Rock answers this question.

And you got badly hurt in one of those. Correct. Tell us a little bit about what happened there in 29.

I did in WrestleMania 29. It was the biggest WrestleMania of all time. That's what we wanted to do. It was something that John and I and Vince McMahon too, by the way, we dreamed about something like this instead.

Of just saying, yeah, I tore my rectus off my pelvis, it really hurt. He launches into an epic two minute story about the show, the hype, what ultimately went wrong. And in the end, it's a celebration.

Real authentic moonshine in a jar. In a jar, by the way. In a jar.

Screw off the top.

Sweet. Literally screwed off the top. He said, you like to cheers. I said, damn right I would.

Come on.

So we all shared a little drink and that was my injury.

Now, I'm not saying that every question needs a two minute story. Definitely don't use and abuse this every time someone in a group asks you something. Unless you're an amazing storyteller, you'll quickly find you aren't getting asked any questions. But if you ever find yourself in boring conversations that feel like forced, awkward interviews or you find yourself running out of things to say, give yourself the freedom to go beyond just the shortest possible answer to a question. It will help you make a really interesting and truly memorable first impression. Now, for comparison, watch this clip from back in 2002 and notice he answers the questions fairly, literally, doesn't really smile, and doesn't add a preamble or tell a story. To me, it just isn't as fun to listen to, and it doesn't leave you walking away with much of a lasting impression. Compare that to this next clip and watch how the Rock answers the literal question. And then notice how he transitions away from it and into a more interesting answer.

Who's your favorite athlete of all time? That's the next question.

My favorite athlete of all time is Muhammad Ali.

The only person you follow on Twitter is.

I'll tell you why.

It really is that simple. Where many other people would just say, Muhammad Ali, he was the best, the Rock says Muhammad Ali. And I'll tell you why. That's a great sentence that you can use. And then he goes into a great story for another minute and a half. Now, how does he make those stories interesting? Let's talk about that, because it might be the most crucial piece of the Rock's charisma. The Rock is amazing at captivating people by creating strong emotions in them when he speaks. Listen, humans are emotional creatures. We're emotional decision makers. That's why the potential partner who looks great on paper or almost always gets passed over for the potential partner who makes you feel a certain way about yourself or about them. The Rock does two things extremely well to help create strong responses from other people. One, he feels the emotions strongly himself. And two, he expresses it at a 10 out of 10. And there are three tools that he uses for that. Second, his speaking volume, his hands and body, and his facial expressions. Watch this clip and pay attention to how expressive he is with his voice, his body, and his face.

Mr. Wonderful. He takes the thing off and he throws it to the crowd. And I was like, and I caught it. And it was a big, like, nerd out moment.

Really?

We cried nerd tears.

Yeah, we did, right?

I was like, oh. And I caught it. It was amazing.

Now watch this clip from 2000 and notice the difference in how he uses his facial expressions, body and voice.

Now, what's next for you?

I understand you've got a budding acting career.

I'd like to do that. Very interested in doing that serious acting. We have the Voyager coming up. I did that.

Star Trek Voyager.

Star Trek Voyager. Yeah.

It's night and day. Even his laugh has transformed. Check it out. Or like Pop Tarts now. I don't know Dwayne Johnson personally, so maybe he was always like this behind the scenes and it was just a matter of getting comfortable being himself in front of the cameras. But even so, I think his transformation is incredible. And honestly, that would be relatable too. How many times have you been in one situation, felt like you were super funny or fun or likable, only to get in front of a different crowd or put in a different environment and suddenly your charisma is just gone? I know I have. So it's really, really cool to see Dwayne's change over time. Let's quickly look at each part of the formula, starting with feeling the emotion strongly yourself.

What's the one thing that you love most about our relationship? And she said, well, then I trust you.

Okay, two things. One, great delivery. His voice is modulating great eye contact. He's pausing. But it's more than that. He lets his own story really move him. He feels the emotions of the story as he tells it, and it makes him so gripping to watch. Here he is talking about battling with depression. Notice his delivery and his pregnant pauses. But more than that, watch how when he pauses, he allows himself to get impacted by the memory.

And you're in your bubble. And I wish I had someone at that time who, who could just pull me aside and hey, it's gonna be okay.

He's sharing a vulnerable story and he lets it show. Did you notice how his facial expressions, body and voice change in this clip compared to when he's talking about something that's fun or funny. So if you're telling a funny story, smile and laugh. If you're telling an emotional story, it's okay to be moved. Let the people listening to you feel what you feel. A great way to do this is actually relive the story in your mind as you tell it. That's step one. Step two is to be expressive with your hands, face and voice to. To get that feeling across to whoever is listening. Here's a great example of how the Rock uses his hands and his body movements to make a story more interesting. Notice how by using his hands so well, he keeps your eyes glued to him.

Vent or anything like that. If you have all this adrenaline, you can actually let it go if you're fighting or if you're playing football or whatever. But in this case, I had no place for it to go. So it's like I am Hercules. And then I would black out.

And then he flashes that huge smile at the end to express that he thinks it's funny. Later in the interview, Conan is teasing him by saying he didn't black out, he fainted. Watch the Rock's reaction and notice how real he is and how he fully expresses himself without being reserved like his older interviews.

Again, I am. Woo. Here we go. Oh, boy.

Oh, good Lord. Okay, we have a clip here. A clip from the movie.

Oh, the clip.

And the audience absolutely loves it. The Rock has gone from being reserved in his interviews to really 100% feeling whatever his emotions are and expressing them at a 10 out of 10. You don't need to be super effusive and over the top all the time. It's just about finding a way to present yourself that you like. If it feels overwhelming to try to remember, to build anticipation, answer questions differently, Use your hands, be louder, use your face. Don't worry about it. I'm going to link to a video at the end of this where Charlie talks about the fastest way to master a skill and. And make it natural or unthinking. That way you won't have to keep all of this in mind when you're out and about interacting with people. Now, while these are areas that the Rock appears to have made massive improvements on over the years, there are two things he's done from the beginning that I think are awesome habits. The first one will absolutely make your life better and improve your relationships. The Rock spreads the love. As Dale Carnegie and Charles Schwab would say. He is lavish in his praise. This can be as simple as laughing along and repeating the punchline of a joke, letting that person know you think they're funny.

In college, I also duck lips, but that was a not as cool duck lips.

Or it can be reaffirming someone or bringing them up when they play themselves down.

I mean, I even get that a little bit here. It's not 25,000 people, but it's the same. But absolutely, you know, and you're right. And it's something. It's something very unique and special. And you can speak to it because you do speak to a live audience.

Or it can be pausing mid sentence to give a compliment and a friendly touch. How do they make that look like you actually fell down, hit the landing and then you continue in the same Shot.

So cool question. So we had a camera rig. I love your questions, by the way.

Thanks, man.

This is why you love movies, man.

I love this.

I love this stuff, man.

This is my favorite stuff to ask.

I love it.

Listen to that interviewer as he's leaving just a few minutes later. Really good to see you, man. Thank you so much for being. Oh, of course it isn't rocket science. You're making that person feel good and people like feeling good. So they like you for creating those feelings in them. This can go horribly wrong if you do it like a suck up. But I'll include a video at the end of this that touches on how to avoid that mistake. And yes, this is super impactful to people because he is such a major celebrity, but it's also something that will be appreciated by friends and loved ones regardless of who you are. This next story about the Rock's first WWF match was what really highlighted this for me. And it's what convinced me to make this part of the video.

Landed on him. I started pinning him. The referee was counting, 1, 2, you'll see my head down. And I was actually, actually speaking to him. And as, as I am pinning him, I am saying to him, thank you so much, brother. Thank you so much. I appreciate that. I heard him say, ah, got you, brother.

The Rock thanks the guy for letting him win. The last point I want to make about the Rock is that he's super inspiring because he walks the walk. He does what he says he's going to do. His story is amazing. He was completely broke, dedicated his entire life to football, was good enough to go pro and that had an injury that shattered that dream that would break most people. Instead, he becomes a megastar. He also works really, really hard. And I'm not going to lie, when you watch how hard he pushes himself in the gym, or hear him talk about waking up at 4am every day, or watch his motivational videos, it's hard not to be inspired, to push yourself and work hard. And if you want that video on how to make all of this an unthinking habit, you can watch that here. If you want the video on, how do you give a compliment without coming off as a suck up to. You can watch that here. And if you like this video, there's another one on Chris Hemsworth I think you'll really like, you can watch that here. Thank you so much for watching. I really appreciate it. I will see you in the next video.